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www.CHAZAQ.org November-December, 2011
Issue #21 In Loving Memory of Shalom Yitzchak ben David and Yocheved (Shamash)
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Table of Contents Holocaust Oil Chanukah – Instant Holiness Chanukah – G-d Fights Our Wars Oh Dreidel, Dreidel, Dreidel! The Mussar of Greek Mythology Reaching Out Through Empathy The Truth of the Revelation at Sinai Words that Build, Words that Destroy Mazal Tov! The Need for Marriage Education Recent CHAZAQ Programs Photos Kindness is Contagious Two Stories About the Way We Treat People
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Issue # 21 November-December, 2011
Dear Grandma Auto – Tips To Extend the Life of Your Car Year-end Planning Checklist for Individuals Charitable Contributions Vitamins for Healthy Skin You Can Do It! Ask the Doctor Recipes Fun Pages Sudoku Strange but True News Classifieds Directory of Advertisers Articles in Hebrew
Disclaimer: CHAZAQ bears no responsibility for the Kashrus, quality, or typesetting errors of our advertisers. We reserve the right to edit or refuse advertisements submitted to our magazine. All items submitted to our office become the property of CHAZAQ Magazine and will not be returned unless otherwise arranged.
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called him Elijah. In some unspoken way, the others drew strength from Elijah's refusal to join the frenzy. Then, one night, something happened that seemed to shatter whatever spirit remained in the prisoners. Elijah cracked. All at once he threw himself into the greasy vat and furiously rolled around like a crazed beast. And how the commander howled. It was a deep belly laugh of satanic satisfaction. The last of the Jews had been broken.
Elijah's light still shines. By the Aish.com Staff
Later, after the guards left and the Jews were At the conclusion of every 16-hour work day in their barracks, Elijah took off his shirt in the hell called Bergen-Belsen, and began to tear it to shreds. The the block commander liked to others looked on in silence. Had have some fun with his Jews. Elijah gone mad? The meal at the end of the day consisted of old dry bread, filthy watery soup and a pat of something like margarine made from vegetable fat.
He would study the shirt for a moment, carefully looking it over, as if searching for some exact location, and then tear that area into a strip. He looked up. His eyes were on fire.
The margarine was scooped out of a large tub, and after the meal had been distributed and the tub was empty, the commander allowed the starving prisoners to jump into the empty tub and lick the remaining margarine from the walls of the tub. The sight of starving Jews licking up bits of margarine provided nightly entertainment for the commander and his guards.
"Do you know what tonight is?" he demanded. "Tonight is the first night of Chanukah." Elijah studied the shirt again, finding another choice spot to tear - a spot he had purposely saturated with grease from his roll in the margarine tub. That night Elijah led the others in the lighting of the Chanukah flames. The wicks came from the strips of his shirt, and the bits of margarine Elijah had furiously scavenged was the oil.
One prisoner, however, refused to be a part of the commander's show. Though like all the rest he was a withered, starving shadow of a man aged far beyond his years, still, he would never allow himself to scavenge for a lick of margarine. The other prisoners Elijah's light continues to shine. www.CHAZAQ.org
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Chanukah – Instant Holiness By Rabbi Yehoshua Kurland A man ran to the 24 hour convenience store at two in the morning, only to find the owner closing up for the night. “What are you doing?” the man protested. “You can’t be closing! Your sign says: ‘Open 24 Hours!’” “Yeah,” the owner replied. “But not in a row!” * We live in a world where everything is at our fingertips 24 hours a day, seven days a week, without interruption. One can shop to his heart’s delight from the convenience of his home, at any time of the day or night, as long as he’s online and has that indispensable piece of plastic, a credit card. Cars can be started and warmed up from the comfort of one’s home; trunks pop open and car doors are unlocked with the push of a button on a key chain. Even the car radio can be adjusted from a control located on the steering wheel, obviating the need to go through the effort of extending one’s hand. The GPS precludes any need for asking directions as we cruisecontrol our way through the E-ZPass express toll at 60 miles an hour. The infamous remote control allows one to turn the TV on and off, change the channel, station, color, contrast, tone, sound, and decibel level all from the comfort of one’s bed. (As the story goes, a teenager asks his father: “Dad, is it true that when you were young you actually had to get up to change the channel?”) From the fax machine to the microwave, from the “clap your hands” light to the Shabbos lamp, comfort and convenience has become an expected way of life, and, in the process, a mindset as well. We expect and demand everything to be instantaneous, and we quickly lose patience when it is not. Unfortunately, this attitude affects our spirituality as well. We want instant kedushah – holiness. The popularization of such distortions through books like “Kabbalah for the Layman,” or through the promotion of Jewish mysticism to fill fleeting impulses for spirituality, only exacerbates this twisted notion. Holiness is a gift from G-d that only comes through tremendous effort on our parts. Only one who is filled with the knowledge of Gemara and Halachah can be prepared to begin approaching such esoteric teachings. In the words of the Mesillas Yesharim: “[The acquisition of] holiness begins with effort, and ends with endowment [from Heaven].” Holiness is not something one simply studies. It is a lifetime occupation of serving G-d, of scrupulous observance, of character improvement, willpower, withstanding temptation, and the mastery
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of nigleh, the revealed Torah. Following that, it may be gifted to him with a gracious endowment of divine assistance. As the Talmud states: “A person who sanctifies himself a little bit, [Heaven] sanctifies him a lot.” It seems almost ludicrous to speak about holiness in a world so saturated with all that is impure. In an atmosphere devoid of all restrictions and inundated with such open-mindedness that has to make one wonder if the world’s brains have fallen out in the process, it is difficult to imagine any semblance of holiness whatsoever. Yet, “Yisrael kedoshim heim – the Jewish people are holy,” and no matter the generation, no matter the climate of the environment, they can nonetheless strive for and achieve their goal. Even in this decadent darkness, a Jew, by toiling in G-d’s Torah and diligently keeping the mitzvos, can radiate light. And no matter where he finds himself, the Torah can serve as a beacon of light in the darkest of times, for that light is powered by a higher Authority. Chanukah, the last of the Jewish holidays until Mashiach comes, infused the Jewish people the formula to bridge the gap until that auspicious moment. Through the victory of a few courageous Jews over the arrogance of the audacious Hellenists who dared to penetrate the Holy of Holies, we absorbed their brazenness, and channeled it into a spiritual confidence that allows us to survive even in the face of wantonness and spiritual abandon. The very fact that we light the Chanukah candles specifically outdoors, directly in the face of the darkness, within ten tefachim (fingerbreadth) of the ground, a place devoid of the divine presence, on the left side, which is traditionally associated with impure forces, is indication enough of this symbolism. Armed with the ammunition of a rejuvenated oral Torah, we carry the spiritual confidence, with great pride, and are confident that we will persevere in this dark exile; we are confident that the holiness born out of sweat and travail will triumph and light the way until the time when the divine presence will return to its abode, and we will celebrate the completion of the unfinished symphony of “Ma’oz Tzur”: “Az egmor… – Then I shall complete a song of hymn upon the dedication of the alter." This is an excerpt from Rabbi Yehoshua Kurland's book "A Time to Laugh, A Time to Listen," available at Jewish bookstores and at the CHAZAQ Shop.
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Chanukah – G-d Fights Our Wars By Rabbi Ben Tzion Shafier Why do we celebrate Chanukah? “When the Greeks entered the Bais HaMikdash (Temple), they defiled all the oil set aside for lighting the Menorah. When the Chashmonoim (Maccabees) were victorious, they searched and were able to find only one small jug of oil with the Kohain Gadol’s seal intact. It had sufficient oil to last only one day, but it miraculously lasted eight days. In honor of the miracle of the oil lasting eight days, our Sages inaugurated these days for Hallel (praise) and thanksgiving.” — Tractate Shabbos 21b
seemed to be natural, and was attributed to Jewish resilience and bravery. It didn’t appear that G-d had delivered us from the hands of the Greeks; rather, it appeared as “their might, and the strength of their arms.” It was only through the miracle of the oil that they came to understand the miracle of the battle. Once people saw the oil last eight days – an overt miracle from G-d — they then came to see that their success on the battlefield was from G-d as well. The miracle of the oil revealed to them the miracle of the war.
Al Ha’Nisim: the miracle of the battle The Maharal states that this Talmud seems to contradict what we say in Al Ha’Nisim, a prayer written by the Tanaim (Sages) hundreds of years before. In Al Ha’Nisim, we proclaim thanks to G-d for the miracle of the war. We thank G-d for delivering the Greek armies into our hands. “You fought their battles, judged their judgments, took their revenge. You put the mighty into the hands of the weak, the many into the hands of the few…” According to the Al Ha’Nisim, the miracle of Chanukah was that G-d delivered us from the armies of the Greeks. Yet the Talmud says that we celebrate Chanukah because of the miracle of the oil lasting eight days. The Maharal asks, “Which one is correct?”
Israel didn’t have a standing army This Maharal becomes difficult to understand when we take into account a basic historical overview. The events of Chanukah took place around the middle of the era of the second Temple. From the time that Babylonia destroyed the first Temple up until that point, the Jewish people lived under the reign of foreign monarchies. Our right to exist and our form of self-government was decided by the ruling parties. We were a vassal state under foreign rule, and when the Greeks entered Jerusalem, the Jewish people did not even have a standing army. This wasn’t a war of a stronger army against a weaker opponent. It was a war in which the most powerful empire in the world was pitted against a band of unorganized, unarmed, private citizens. While the war itself lasted three years, during the entire first year of fighting, there were no formal battles. Two armies were not squaring off against each other; there was no Jewish army. The fighting consisted of guerrilla skirmishes. Some Jews would sneak up on a lone detail of Greek soldiers, kill them, and take their arms. Bit by bit, more Jews would join Yehudah
The miracle of the oil revealed the miracle of the war The Maharal answers that both reasons are true, and both are consistent with each other. The actual event for which we give thanksgiving and sing Hallel is the salvation of the Jewish people; we won a war against all odds. However, it wasn’t clear that the victory was a miracle. To people living in those times, the military success
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Ha’Macabi, but at every point during the war, the Jews were far outnumbered, outgunned, and preposterously less battle-ready than their enemies.
of the oil, it reshaped the previous three years in their minds. Then they could see the battles themselves as the miracles that they were. Exactly as the Maharal said, “The miracle of the oil revealed the miracle of the battle.”
The leaders of the rebellion were Kohanim Even more startling is that almost all of the original fighters had no battle experience. The leaders of the rebellion were Kohanim. A Kohain is a Torah teacher, one who serves in the Temple, one who guides the nation in ruchniyus (spiritual matters). He isn’t a soldier. So this was a war led and fought not by soldiers, but by roshei yeshiva. It was akin to Reb Shmuel Kaminetsky leading the Lakewood Yeshiva in battle against the US Marine Corps.
We see the same phenomena in our times In our own times, we witness an eerie parallel to these events and to the same mistaken interpretation. For almost two thousand years we have existed as a lone sheep amongst seventy wolves. Universally hated and oppressed, the Jewish people have survived. And now, after almost 1900 years of wandering, we find ourselves back in our own land. Since 1948, the Jewish nation has witnessed profound miracles in the repopulation and development of the land of Israel. But it is the survival of our people that is the greatest miracle. In 1948, the population in the Middle East numbered roughly 650,000 Jews, surrounded by some 50 million Arabs. On May 15th, 1948, one day after the State of Israel was declared, five nations attacked, each with well-trained armies and air forces, each alone capable of annihilating the small band of Holocaust survivors. At the time there was no Jewish army, navy or air force. Yet, against all odds, we won that war, and against all odds we continued to win war after war – until now, ironically, when the Jews are considered the superpower in the region. To most people, Jew and gentile alike, it seems that this is just the way of the world. To the average witness to these events, it isn’t a demonstration of the hand of G-d. It is just the ebb and flow of history.
How could anyone not see the miracle of the war? No intelligent assessment of the situation would have predicted a Jewish victory. How, then, is it possible that the Jews at the time saw these events as anything other than the miracles that they clearly were? This seems to be natural to the human The answer to this question seems to be that when one is many years away and far removed, he gains a historical vantage point. He is able to see an event in context and can easily recognize it as a miracle. But to those living in the day-today heat of battle, it is much more difficult to see the event from that perspective. To those involved, it seemed to be a natural course of events. Granted the odds were slim, but the Jews won. Skirmish after skirmish, battle after battle, the Macabees came out victorious. There is no question that they did well, which is why it seemed that their skill, their cunning, and their wisdom in battle won those wars. And as such, to people living in those times, the miracle was hidden. And then a single event focused their sight. When the Kohanim returned to the Temple and took out that little bit of oil that couldn’t possibly last for eight days and watched it remain aglow night after night, everyone knew it was miraculous. When they experienced the miracle
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The lesson of Chanukah is to see behind the veil of nature, to tune our sight into the true cause of events, and to see that it is G-d Who runs the world and fights our wars – then as now. “The Shmuz,” an engaging and motivating Torah lecture that deals with real life issues, is available for FREE at www.TheShmuz.com. The Shmuz on Life Book is now available at the Shmuz.com or at your local Sefarim store.
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Oh Dreidel, Dreidel, Dreidel! By Rabbi Label Lam I can recall shrinking in shame when in public high school choir we would sing the token Jewish song, “Oh dreidel, dreidel, dreidel.” It always seemed embarrassingly unsophisticated and whom amongst us knew it wasn’t? So now, years later, maybe we can indulge ourselves with a brief appreciation of just how not silly that little dreidel is. Our sages say, “If we are not prophets, we are the children of prophets.” That means that if loyal Jews over the course of many generations have engaged in a given practice, there must be some extremely deep reason. Anything deemed “classic” usually has an appeal to all ages and types. Both a child and an elder must be able to appreciate it on his own level. So it is with the dreidel. On the most infantile level the dreidel is a spinning top that captures the child’s imagination by its color and gyro abilities. The next oldest child may be fascinated by the opportunity to play a game and collect nuts and/or pennies. That’s great. A slightly more mature youngster may already begin to appreciate the letters on the dreidel: Nun, Gimel, Hey, Shin. Kids spend months in kindergarten learning to distinguish between a Nun and a Gimel. It’s a little like the difference between a slightly high-heeled shoe and a flat heel. It takes some training to spot it quickly enough to differentiate between the two. Then the budding scholar will report what the letters stand for: Nun-Nes, Gimel-Gadol, Hey-Haya, ShinSham: which when put together reads, “A great miracle happened there!” We now know how a young adult sees the dreidel, but how might the seasoned scholar view this simple child’s game? The Bnei Yisaschar teaches that the letters on the dreidel hint to the entirety of Jewish history. Represented there are the strategic forces of the four exiles. But what is an exile? How does it begin? When does it end? The Jews are sitting in Israel with a Temple and G-d; all is well until we
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start to wonder if maybe the idolatry of Babylonia is just a bit more spicy and fun. Before long, this curiosity becomes a national obsession until a horde of idol worshippers descends upon us and dominates for a time until we “get it”. What does it mean to “get it”? Someone told me that his father once caught him smoking in the garage. The father wisely did not take the cigarettes away; rather, he bought a carton and made his son smoke continuously until his face turned green and he was coughing violently. After that he never wanted another cigarette. When the dreidel drops, one culture asserts its influence and a class in exile “X” has begun. Nun is for Nefesh, the soul. The Babylonians who destroyed the first temple tried to enforce that Jews should bow to their idols in order to contaminate the soul of the people. The end of that 70 year period was dominated by the Persians, and it was the wicked Haman’s wish to destroy every man, woman and child physically; therefore the next letter is Gimel, for Goof, the body. The letter Shin or Sin as it can be pronounced when the dot is on the left-side, stands for Sechel, intellect. The Greeks wished to offer a competitive culture with the rigors of science and literature to replace Torahlearning and the catharsis of sport and theatre to supplant prayer and kindliness. They were largely successful at seducing the minds of many a Jew till the heroes of the Chanukah story prevailed. Then we confront the letter Hey - which is for HaKol, everything. Rome, Edom, introduced nothing new; they simply incorporated the worst of the others. Therefore, for the duration of this brutal 2000 year old exile, we have met the likes of the Spanish Inquisition, where the Jewish soul was tested with the demand to be obedient to some idolatrous form. Then there have been the Hitler - types that have wanted to eliminate any breathing Jew. Now we face the “enlightenment,” an exile of assimilation
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whereby the nuances on the op-ed pages are promoted beyond the wisdom of our sages and so we melt into oblivion. It’s no mistake that the letters on the dreidel add up to 358, which spells Nachash, the primordial enemy, and also Moshiach, the climax of history. If only that point on the bottom (that’s us) loyally aligns with the miraculous “Hand on High” and avoids toppling again... Oh Dreidel, Dreidel, Dreidel! Rabbi Label Lam is a former collegiate athlete and a poet. While pursuing his Master in Education he studied for many years at Yeshiva Ohr Somayach in Monsey before launching a multifaceted career in Jewish Education. Rabbi Lam has been inspiring businessmen, college students and prisoners for Ohr Somayach International and Hamayan Institute for almost two decades. He is also a frequent lecturer for CHAZAQ. He is the co-founder of Foundations for Jewish Learning with outreach projects in the United States and abroad. He brings to his lectures his rich life experience, a profound wit and an infectious love for Jewish People.
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The Mussar of Greek Mythology By Rabbi Abraham J. Twerski Many years ago, in high-school, I learned a Much later I realized that the “music of the sipowerful mussar lesson, but I did not realize it rens” is the yetzer hara (evil inclination). It can enchant a person and render one almost helpless at the time. to resist its temptation. Even seeing the wreckage Ulysses was a traveler in Greek mythology. He of the ships did not prevent sailors from rowing heard of the “music of the sirens.” This was to their destruction. music that was heard at a particular harbor, and it was so enchanting and so attractive, that it One cocaine addict worked in a mortuary, and drew sailors to the shore. However, there were buried people who were killed by cocaine, but sharp, ragged reefs in the harbor, and the ships that did not stop his use, and he died from cowould crash into them and were destroyed. Sail- caine at age 33. Cocaine, music of the sirens, ors knew this, and passing by the harbor, they yetzer hara - they are all the same. would see the wreckages of the ships that had been destroyed, but once they heard the music How can we “stuff our ears” to the “music of of the sirens, they were helpless and headed into the sirens” that can be heard almost anywhere in our environment? The the harbor to their own Talmud cites G-d as saydestruction. ing, “I created the yetzer hara, and I created Torah Ulysses wanted to hear as its antidote.” Indeed the the fabled music of the Torah is our only defense. sirens, but knew that However, just holding on this would be fatal. He, to Torah is not enough, therefore, stuffed his just as Ulysses holding on sailors’ ears with wax so to the mast would not have that they could not hear been enough. We must tie any sounds, and he told ourselves so tightly to Tothem that they were to rah that we cannot break loose from it. This is sail by the harbor and pay no attention to anywhy Moses repeatedly stressed, “But you who thing he said. He then had himself tied securely cling to G-d you are all alive today”; “to Him to the ship’s mast so that he could not move. you shall cleave” and “To love G-d, to listen to As the sailors approached the harbor, Ulysses His voice and to cleave to Him." King David began hearing the music of the sirens. He be- says, “I have clung to your testimonies." To cling gan shouting to the sailors to head for shore, but and cleave means to be inseparably attached to of course they could not hear him. He began Torah. screaming at them, “I am your captain! You must obey my orders!” As he heard the music Learning Torah and doing mitzvos is of the of the sirens, he struggled to free himself from greatest importance, but does not yet result in the ropes. “Head for the shore!” he shouted. “I the necessary fusion. The Talmud says that will have you hung for mutiny!” But the sailors the single verse the entire Torah depends on is “Know G-d in all your ways.” Cleaving and rowed on. clinging is not accomplished by relating to G-d After they had passed the harbor and the mu- just in Torah study and in performance of mitzsic was no longer heard, Ulysses fainted from vos, but in everything we do - eating, sleeping, exhaustion. The sailors then untied him, and transacting, socializing. The works of mussar tell he realized how helpless he had been, and had us how we can accomplish this. It is this kind of he not rendered the sailors unable to hear, they observance of Torah that can save us from the destructive attractions of the yetzer hara. would have all been destroyed.
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Reaching Out Through Empathy By Rebbetzin Esther Jungreis Have you ever tried to communicate with someone you love only to come up against a stone wall? It is maddeningly frustrating. No matter what you say, no matter what you do, he refuses to understand. You become convinced that there is no way that you will ever reach him.
demented boy. "Gobble, gobble, how are you?" he inquired of the sick young man. "Who are you?" came the alarmed retort. "Gobble gobble, I am a turkey rabbi."
But communication is possible if you go about it "But I am the turkey," the boy protested. the right way. The following story illustrates how "That's okay, so am I. Turkeys can also become you can most effectively do this. rabbis, you know." And with that, the rabbi setA wealthy man, his heart full of sorrow, went to tled down to a full course meal. an old rabbi to seek his advice. "If you're a turkey, how come you're eating table "Rabbi," the man cried. "My son is very sick, food?" and I do not know what to do with him. We have "Who says that turkeys taken him from doctor have to be undernourto doctor, but no one has ished? Try some, it's good!" been able to help. They advised me to commit Reluctantly, the boy tasted him to an institution." a spoonful, and then slowly, he started to eat. "What is the nature of your son's illness?" the The following day, the rabrabbi inquired. bi put on a new shirt. The man's eyes reflected his unbearable pain. "My son has lost his san- "How come you're getting all fancied up? If ity," he whispered. "He has taken it into his head you're a turkey, you can't do that," the boy prothat he is a turkey! All day long he goes around tested. saying 'gobble, gobble.' He was once a brilliant student, but now he just sits in a 'turkey position' "Why not? Why should turkeys be left out in the under the table nibbling birdseed. There are cold?" the rabbi asked. "Who says that rabbis days when he doesn't even bother to get dressed. cannot be well dressed? Here, I have a shirt for Rabbi, what can we do? If only you could help you too. Try it, and you'll see that you can be well dressed and still remain a turkey." us." For a long time, the rabbi sat in silence, lost in thought. Then slowly, he began to speak: "My dear friend. I will try to do whatever I can. Give me four weeks with the boy undisturbed."
The boy put on the shirt, and thus, with each passing day, the rabbi made further progress, penetrating deeper and deeper into the psyche of the boy, until at the end of four weeks, he was well on the road to recovery.
The man gratefully agreed and led the rabbi to The lesson is obvious. The pre-condition to his home. communication is empathy. You must actually The rabbi sat down under the table next to the put yourself into the place of the one you are Continued on pg. 23
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trying to reach and speak to him on his level and in his language. By identifying with him, by becoming part of him, he will become encouraged to open up and become receptive to your suggestions. If you want to help someone, you must demonstrate that you are willing to share his burden, assume his suffering and even become a turkey for his sake. And if you are not prepared to do that, then whatever you say will come off preachy and condescending, and consequently be rendered ineffective and counterproductive.
ourselves in the pain of our loved ones and be willing to share their problems if we are to reach out to them in their hour of crisis?
A word of caution is in order here. No one should misinterpret this by rationalizing that in order to save a drug addict one must become a junkie, or in order to rehabilitate an alcoholic one must hit the bottle. What I am stating is that more yelling, preaching, and lecturing, no matter how well intentioned, will never enable a person to shake his self- destructive habits and We have learned this from the Almighty Him- start anew. self, for when He wanted to redeem the Jewish people, He Himself descended to Egypt. And If you are sincere in your desire to help, then our sages ask, "Why does the bible use the word you must make every attempt to understand the "descend"? Would it not have been more proper source of your friend's pain and then commuto say that G-d raised the Jewish people to the nicate with him at a level which he is capable heights of freedom? of understanding. Step by step, he must be retrieved and revived. It seems, however, that you cannot do anyone any real good from a distance. If the nation So the next time you're ready to throw in the was to be liberated from the shackles of slavery, towel, thinking, "It's no use; he'll never underthen G-d Himself had to descend to their labor stand, he'll never change," ask yourself: "Did I camps. How much more so must we immerse really try? Did I become a turkey?"
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The Truth of the Revelation at Sinai A Brief Overview By Rabbi Shaya Cohen In addition to all the emotional and psychological issues involved in keeping our students and children in line, there is another major issue of critical importance. They must be familiar and very well versed in the testimony and evidence that exists for the truth of Torah from Sinai. The degree to which they are convinced and confident that, in fact, the Creator and Almighty Master of the Universe revealed Himself publicly at Sinai to the entire Jewish people and gave them His Divine directives, is the degree to which this concept will guide them and keep them from falling prey to a host of negative influences and pressures in their lives. This information should not be presented to them as an effort to convince them of the truth, rather it should be presented gently, over a long period of time, and in a way that just seems to take these truths for granted yet shares with them the basis for our knowing these facts. The key words in this process are testimony and evidence. Our Torah includes in itself a system for recognizing and transmitting the testimony of the original generation of eyewitnesses, to the revelation at Sinai down to this very day. An understanding of this system provides a very credible basis for the truth of Torah from Sinai. The second word, evidence, refers to the fact that the Torah, both the written and oral parts, is full of information that no one other than the Creator and Ruler of the Universe could have known at the time the document was written. The Torah is also replete with indications of the Creator’s control of the world. Both of these concepts are unique amongst the religions of the world; they are only found in Judaism. Even though the other major religions came after Judaism and copied so much from it, no religion ever dared to claim eyewitness testimony to a public revelation by G-d in front of millions of live witnesses. This can only be understood by
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the realization that this claim is extremely difficult to fabricate and if, in fact, it did not happen, then it will not be accepted or believed. In fact, the other major religions, in a desire and need to base their religion on more than the claim of one person to a private revelation, also acknowledge that the only public revelation was by the Creator to the Jews at Sinai. They then go on to claim, however that G-d changed His mind about the Torah and the Jewish people. This claim, of course, is very tenuous because G-d Himself commanded in the Torah that no prophet, even with the performance of amazing miracles, could be believed to change the Torah or lead us astray. The other major religions do not fare better when it comes to evidence for the truth of Torah. Most of their pronouncements refer to future events in the world-to-come, or very vague statements, not very testable in this world. The Torah, however, is full of very specific information and prophecy of future events in this world that no one can deny. This information is so compelling that the Talmud (Chullin) states that this type of information, which no human could have known at the time, serves as an answer to anyone who would question whether or not the Torah is from G-d. To properly convey the dual concepts of testimony to the events of Sinai and evidence for the Divine truth of Torah requires a detailed sophisticated analysis of a wide range of material, which is beyond the scope of this work. It also requires serious training for the parent and teacher in the most effective ways of conveying this information to others. For the purpose of this work, some highlights of the basic concepts are presented here with the advice to the reader to do further research and be exposed to some training in this area, before presenting these concepts to skeptics.
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The unique position of the first generation of actual witnesses to the Divine Revelation at Sinai can be better understood by a simple story. A Chassidic Rebbe passed away and left two sons. They were conflicted about who would be their father’s successor. All of the Chassidim got involved and took sides. One day the younger son walks into the shul and announces that the conflict is resolved. “Father appeared to me in a dream,” he said, “and proclaimed me as his successor.” The other brother and his supporters responded, “If father truly wanted you to be his successor, he should have appeared to us in a dream and told us directly.” The only religion that claims a revelation in front of an entire nation, millions of witnesses, is Judaism; the others, if they claim revelation, claim a private revelation to one person with no other witnesses. This story underscores the difference in credibility between the two approaches. Anyone can claim that he had a private revelation; no one can claim a public revelation unless it, in fact, really happened. When the Torah, which describes this public revelation in detail, clearly states that the people of that generation witnessed these events and heard G-d speaking to them and to Moshe, then the fact that they all passed this document on to their children is a powerful testimony to these events. Parents do not lie to their children, and millions of parents certainly don’t tell the same lie to their children. If a parent tells a child that a certain event took place, then the child knows that his parent honestly believes that the certain event took place. If a parent says, “I saw that event take place,” then the child knows that, in fact, it did actually take place. The Torah was passed from generation to generation, always publicly read and always prohibited from even the slightest change. Not only was the document passed down and preserved, but it was always read and studied by a nation that performed many observances, generation after generation, based on the text. To date, the text survives all over the Jewish world without any significant differences, unlike the New Testament, which has hundreds of significant differences in text. This process can be seen in action when a Baal Koreh makes a mistake in the public Torah reading - the listeners yell out corrections and never let a reading mistake go by. If
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there is a written error or peeling of the letter in the Torah, the Torah is put away, with the “gartle” on the outside, announcing its inappropriate status and must be fixed within thirty days. This system has preserved the Torah throughout the ages. The Torah abounds with evidence of its Divine authorship, in the form of information both prophetic and scientific that no author could have known when the Torah was first given. All sources, including secular historians, admit that this was at least approximately 2,250 years ago, because that was when it was translated into Greek. The Torah clearly prophesizes the events of the destruction of the Bais Hamikdash (Holy Temple), the exile, the Holocaust, the return to Israel, all in intricate detail, leaving no room to question the prophetic ability of its author. The Torah gives us vast amounts of modern scientific information, both in the written and oral Torah, that no human could have known without Divine revelation. That fact that the pig is the only animal ever, anywhere in the world, that has split hooves and does not chew its cud, could not have been known to Moshe Rabbeinu without Divine revelation. Nor could he have known that never will there be a species of fish that has scales but does not have fins. Who could have dared to say that the Western Wall of the Bais Hamikdash will never be destroyed, and who could have known that during the 20th Century, our enemies would use poisonous gas against us. Or who could have known, thousands of years ago, that the final determination of whether an embryo is male or female only takes place after the 40th day after conception. It goes on and on. This is what the Talmud (Chullin) says; the scientific information that no one could have known at that time, serves as an answer to anyone who would say that Torah is not from Heaven. Chazal do not say this is how we know the truth of Torah, but rather, an answer to anyone who might question its veracity. We know Torah is Divine because of the unbroken chain of testimony from generation to generation, with no skipping of a generation. However, if anyone still harbors any doubts, how can he explain the extensive, detailed and accurate information that we find in our Torah?
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Words that Build, Words that Destroy By Rabbanith Ruth Menashe of Midrash Ben Ish Hai Intangible yet so powerful. Can't be seen but containing frozen water were placed in different may leave indelible impressions. Can be the best environments. Some were placed where there or the worst. was a musical background, others where positive words of affection were spoken. Yet others Hakham Yoseph Hayyim, a”h, relates a sto- were placed where negative and evil words were ry about a master who sent his servant to the heard. The vials which were in the presence of market, instructing the servant to surprise him pleasant and positive speech produced magnifiwith the best food that he could find there. The cent water crystals, whereas some of the vials servant came back with a tongue. The follow- which were in the presence of negative speech ing day, the master asked did not form any crystals at the servant to return to the all. If this is the impact of marketplace, this time to speech on an inanimate obpurchase the worst food he ject, we can just imagine could find. Can you imagine what kind of an effect it has what the servant came back on human souls. with this time? If you guessed 'a tongue' you would be abHakham Yoseph Hayim, solutely correct. The servant a”h, quoting the Yerushexplained: “When the tongue almi (Berachoth) says that is good, there is nothing betRibbi Shim'on Bar Yohai ter, but when it is bad there is stated that at first he thought nothing worse.” it would have been better for human beings to have two mouths. One mouth would be used The magnitude of the power of speech is so exclusively for spiritual matters, such as the great, that it can create worlds. G-d created the study of the Torah, and the other for the every world through the medium of speech, as it is day physical needs of this world. After all, how written in the Ethics of the Fathers, 'With ten can we use the same vessel for holy matters as Divine utterances was the world created.' It can well as profane? “But then,” he said, “when I also destroy worlds. The Beth HaMiqdash (the witnessed the numerous cases of bad speech, I Temple) was destroyed on account of the sin of came to the realization that the one mouth and speaking badly about others. Over a hundred the one tongue that the Holy One blessed be He years ago, the Ben Ish Hai wrote that neither created for man is most appropriate. If so much a rifle nor a bow and arrow can strike with the evil speech is spoken with one tongue, how much same force and velocity as the tongue. Nowa- more would have been said with two.” days, with the technological advances, this statement is even more pronounced. One email can If we examine the way G-d created us we will reach the four corners of the world in an instant see that the mouth is positioned below the brain, and do more devastation than a gun. Negative to teach us that before one utters any words, one words can bring destruction and destroy rela- must scrutinize what one is about to say to decide tionships in no time. whether it is appropriate or not. At times, silence is the best response, as Rabban Shim'on the son Dr. Nasaru Emoto researched the effects of of Rabban Gamliel said, “I have found nothing words on water crystals. A selection of vials better for the body than silence.” Continued on pg. 28
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Continued from pg. 27
Meir Anshel was the loyal Gabbai (caretaker) of his community in 19th century Austria. Being in charge of the community's charity, he had access to all the money. There are differing versions as to exactly what took place, but everyone is in agreement that the money disappeared and Meir Anshel was the prime suspect. He admitted that he had taken it and promised to repay it over a period of time. With difficulty, he began repaying the money. Sometime later, it was discovered that he had not stolen the money. The rabbi of the town immediately approached him and begged for forgiveness on behalf of the entire community. Meir Anshel chose to remain silent so as not to bring suspicion on others. The rabbi blessed him wholeheartedly and Meir Anshel Rothschild went on to become the father of the famed Rothschild dynasty. For women, speech has a deeper significance than it does for men. Women are known to be adept at speech. This can be positive or negative depending on how it is used. Let us ask ourselves, did we express our emotions and affection to others, leaving them feeling reassured
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and loved? Did we say encouraging and complimentary words to our spouses and children, making them feel cheerful with happy hearts? Did we practice the art of using words to clarify misunderstandings and disagreements? Guided by our innate understanding (Binah) and wisdom, our speech should be utilized as an essential tool to cheer up those around us, and leave everlasting positive impressions on them.
To read more by Rabbanith Ruth Menashe please visit www.atorahminute.com and www.midrash.org . A Torah Minute vol. 1, 300 Gems from the Ben Ish Hai and vol. 2 A Treasury of Torah Gems and Practical Laws, both include an inspiring Women's Corner, by Rabbanith Ruth Menashe. Available at all good Sefarim stores and at the Chazaq shop. For more information, please visit midrash.org.
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R’ Ilan Meirov
To Advertise in the CHAZAQ Magazine Call: 917-617-3636 or Email: ChazaqMagazine@gmail.com
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Mazal Tov! Bar Mitzvah
Birth – Boy
Yaakov Tzvi Maler Moishe Benjamin Yossi Ettlinger Shlomie Berlin Mordechai David Kaikov Chesky Stern
Nachum and Avigail Tribewasser Dovid and Bracha Zytman Moshe and Mindy Glassman Josh and Yocheved Gordon Yuri and Leah Rubinov Ezra and Basya Moskowitz Ritchie and Esther Meirov Avraham and Rachel Kurtz Moshe and Chani Neumann
Engagement Shmuly Sochet to Rivkala Kleinkaufman Shmuel Webber to Hadassah Guttman Rephael Glieberman to Rena Nierman Mickey Marinelli to Rochel Leah Frydman Ashie Bistricer to Hindy Melohn Ben Portal to Aliza Abittan Daniel Summer to Batsheva Stein Yehoshua Feld to Brocha Shapiro Chaim Thaler to Tamara Plawes Bryan Rothman to Breindy Dreyfuss Dovid Lifshitz to Miri Levovitz Raphi Bollag to Adina Gamss Moishy Herzka to Elisheva Grohman Shmuel Zipper to Ettie Lomner
Birth – Girl Levi and Shani Melohn Ari and Rachie Gold Nussi and Aliza Kuznicki Isaac and Yael Darwich Yehuda and Frumi Geller Baruch and Yocheved Hochman Refael and Shani Gottlieb Ariel and Miriam Danierov Betzalel and Rivkie Miller Nataniel and Rachel Davydov Sruli and Chaviva Loeb Ben and Sharon Jackson
Wedding Yossi Censor and Leah Braverman Eli Sklar and Sarah Tannenbaum Myer Cohen and Rachel Azar Tzvee Rotberg and Mimi Bienenfeld Yechiel Lamm and Deana Travis Chaim Muschel and Esther Kranz Menashe Pollack and Devorah Deitel Ari Goldman and Shevy Muller Yosef Dov Friedman and Malka Carmen Zevi Lazar and Yehudis Lifshitz Yanky Klor and Chaviva Dolinger Avrumi Einhorn and Devoiry Montag Levi Shalomayev and Tzipporah Bangiyev Michael Barany and Miriam Levin Eli Bass and Judy Anton
Share Your Simcha with Us! Email: Magazine@Chazaq.org
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The Need for Marriage Education By Rabbi Daniel Schonbuch Are we doing enough to prepare our children for marriage? I'm not talking about matters of Jewish law that couples learn about before they get married. What I'm referring to is the lack of knowledge of effective communication skills needed to make marriage successful and relationship-building tools that can enhance feelings of love and camaraderie.
statistics are telling us that the success rate for marriages is only around 50 percent. Imagine a doctor who was successful only 50 percent of the time or a lawyer who won only half of his cases. At some point, there would be a national upheaval and public call to evaluate if our doctors and lawyers are truly prepared to enter into their professions.
Couples in our community now face more demands than ever before. The typical complex marriage - managing two careers while rearing children - really requires that couples have very strong, well-established abilities to communicate, resolve issues, maintain mutuality and set goals. Without this foundation, it's easy to feel overwhelmed by stress and time pressures. Problems can intrude much more easily than most couples realize. Marriage preparation can function as an immunization that boosts a couple’s capacity to handle potential difficulties.
I am aware that our community does not share these discouraging statistics. Yet, many readers may believe that the divorce rate seems to be rising in the Orthodox world and divorce appears to be more common than ever before.
Overall, we need to give our young couples better skills to become successful in their marriages. Unfortunately, couples spend very little time learning about the art of Shalom Bayis before they get married. And, unlike other professions such as law and medicine that test and certify their graduates, marriage the most important and longest profession anyone can enter into – doesn’t require any specific training or certification. Couples may start a marriage unprepared to meet the challenges that occur on a daily basis such as child rearing, facing financial pressures, and spending quality time together. Think about it- a person spends around 12 years in school preparing to enter college, which takes four years to complete. Yet, how many years do people train to get married, which is supposed to last a lifetime? To take the analogy one step further, if marriage would be placed side by side with other professions, how would it rank? Today, national
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All of this points to the need to respond to the challenges facing young couples and begin the process of pre-marital education. Couples need to learn marital skills and develop realistic expectations before the marriage takes place. Only then will they be prepared to cope successfully with the inevitable ups and downs of marriage. Recently a new program called the S.H.A.L.O.M. Workshop (Starting Healthy and Long Lasting Marriages) has begun to teach engaged couples and newlyweds the skills needed to have a successful marriage. The workshop teaches engaged couples practical tools to achieve a healthy marriage and to effectively meet each other's emotional needs. In just one or two sessions the Chassan and Kallah cover important issues such as: • Increased understanding and sensitivity to each other’s feelings • Communicating effectively through a sense of mutual respect • Promoting self-confidence in each other • Financial Management Continued on pg. 36
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As their literature describes, “The S.H.A.L.O.M. Workshop teaches specific, easily learned methods for successful communication and effective problem-solving.” The goal is for participants to emerge with a deeper self-knowledge and the tools to build a happy, successful and long-lasting marriage.
other person know you are listening felt very validating, and actually enabled us to do something we both were too subjective to suggest doing with each other on our own.”
It’s time to expand the scope of educational programs offered to engaged couples to improve their chances of having a successful marriage It's important to note that this workshop in no and building a successful Jewish home. A preway replaces traditional Chassan and Kallah marriage program like the S.H.A.L.O.M. Workclasses; rather it enhances the knowledge learned shop is the place to begin. by practicing easy-to-use and practical tools that can make marriage more enjoyable. To find out more about programs like S.H.A.L.O.M. Workshop, you can visit their During the workshop, a couple will learn how website at www.shalomworkshop.org. to actively listen to one another, express their feelings in a healthy way and negotiate a power structure for making key decisions in their lives. Rabbi Daniel Schonbuch, MA, is the Executive Director of Shalom Task Force. For more information about One participant from New York who took the Shalom Task Force, please visit www.shalomtaskforce. workshop commented that, “As I am getting org. You can e-mail questions to him at execdirector@ married very soon, I think that my future hus- shalomtaskforce.org. band and I will greatly benefit from the workshop. Taking the time to listen and letting the
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Kindness is Contagious By Roman Aminov “Kindness is contagious.” While this may sound trite to some, it’s a mantra for living for others. I was lucky to meet one of the “others” who showed me the lasting effect of a kind deed. I was in Nassau County Supreme for a typical day at court. It was my first time before that particular judge and I was not familiar with the procedural aspects of the conference I was attending. I wasn’t worried because I knew that lawyers, being the helpful bunch that they are, are always willing to help a new guy out. I had my choice of lawyers to ask, but as is my custom, I ask the one who looks like he actually knows what he’s doing. Granted, most of the time such a person will not be located, but I was lucky this morning. I turned around and found a friendly looking spiky haired gentleman who looked like he might have an idea of what’s flying and shot out my question. After a brief back and forth, he basically says “I like you kid, and I’m going to take care of you, we have to take care of our own.” I was very flattered by the offer, but I had to gently correct the gentleman and tell him “thank you sir, but I’m not Italian” assuming he hadn’t noticed the black yarmulke on my head. Apparently, I did not pick up his bageling1. Not only was he a Jew, as I learned later, he was a Jew with a strong commitment to Torah and a strong desire to help other Jews.
mentor’s kindness had on him was shining through that morning, and I was basking in the glow. I sent him my previous Chazaq article and told him that he was practicing what I was trying to preach. He did not make a big deal of his efforts, as if he had done nothing special. The interesting thing about people like him is that they don’t necessarily like the recognition; they simply want to do the right thing.
Since that day, this gentleman has given me work and referred other attorneys to me as well. He even called me into his office to transfer some files that he was working on which he could've easily handled on his own. One of my first questions to him was, “Why?” Why help a complete stranger, albeit a Jewish one, when so many others wouldn’t have even given it a second thought? His answer was simple: “when I was starting out, someone looked out for me; now its my turn.” The indelible effect that his
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There is something powerful about reaching out to another person and giving them the help they need, even if they don’t ask for it. There is something uniquely human about seeing yourself in another and being able to relate to his feelings. When we say “kindness is contagious,” we are saying that a part of our soul has been stimulated in such a deep way that the only way to express it is through giving to another. That’s the power of kindness its inability to be suppressed. A kind deed doesn’t end with the receiver; it simply resides within him or her until it's time to for them to give it over to someone else. Think of something profound which was done for you by another, whether by your parents, spouse, friends, or just a person you met “randomly.” Then think of what you can do to effectuate the same feeling in another. Then do it. Your soul will smile and it may not be the only one. Bageling is a process by which you make known your status as a member of the Tribe to a fellow member, without ever saying so directly. As in approaching someone with a yarmulke and saying, “Gee, it’s as hot as Gehenom today, don’t you think?”
Roman Aminov, Esq. is an attorney specializing in acts of kindness. If you need an act of kindness, give the Law Offices of Roman Aminov a call at (347)766-2685.
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Two Stories About the Way We Treat People The cleaning lady During my second month of college, our professor gave us a pop quiz. I was a conscientious student and had breezed through the questions until I read the last one: "What is the first name of the woman who cleans the school?" Surely this was some kind of joke. I had seen the cleaning woman several times. She was tall, dark-haired and in her 50's, but how would I know her name? I handed in my paper, leaving the last question blank. Just before class ended, one student asked if the last question would count toward our quiz grade. "Absolutely, " said the professor. "In your careers, you will meet many people; all are significant. They deserve your attention and care, even if all you do is smile and say "hello." I've never forgotten that lesson.. I also learned her name was Dorothy. Counting Coins In the days when an ice cream sundae cost much less,
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a 10-year-old boy entered a hotel coffee shop and sat at a table. A waitress put a glass of water in front of him. "How much is an ice cream sundae?" the boy asked. "Fifty cents," replied the waitress. The little boy pulled his hand out of his pocket and studied the coins in it. "Well, how much is a plain dish of ice cream?" he inquired. By now more people were waiting for a table and the waitress was growing impatient. "Thirty-five cents," she brusquely replied. The little boy again counted his coins. "I'll have the plain ice cream," he said. The waitress brought the ice cream, put the bill on the table and walked away. The boy finished the ice cream, paid the cashier and left. When the waitress came back to wipe down the table, she began to cry. There, placed neatly beside the empty dish, were two nickels and five pennies. You see, the little boy didn't have the sundae because he wanted to have enough money left to leave her a tip.
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Want to Help CHAZAQ Out? We Need All the Help We Can Get. Volunteers are Needed! To See how YOU can get involved with CHAZAQ please Call 917-617-3636 or Email: Info@Chazaq.org
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"Dear Grandma" Dear Grandma, I miss your holiness, I miss your tenderness. I pine for the time we spent together, Now replaced by emptiness.
I yearn for your constant ray of hope. I crave the crystal perseverance, And that you'd never let me mope. I long for your maternal encouragement, And that you'd never let me down. I miss your spiritual contribution, And that you'd save me, lest I drown.
I long for your love, though mine for you lingers. An affection that'll last as long as the world, I miss your presence, like a silent chord. I miss your vibrancy, I miss your uniqueness. I miss your values, your standards, your demands, That were only made for my benefit. I miss you so much that the words trail on the page and the ink is dry. You were the moon in my night, You lit up my life. You were my aurora's sparkling sheen, Wrapped in a satin veil of pink and green.
I miss your determination, I miss your strength. I miss your being, I miss your every breath. I miss your proud smile, I miss your kind advice. I miss the reward, Of seeing happiness in your eyes. All these I crave, And they'll forever be in my heart. Although you left, You shall never depart.
I miss your many years of wisdom,
visual Experience...
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AUTO
Tips To Extend the Life of Your Car 1. Be patient during the break-in period You’ve bought your dream car and now you want to make it last as long as possible in top condition. Here are some things to remember as you pull it out of the dealer’s lot: During the break-in period, typically the first 1,000 miles, keep your speed under 55 mph or to the speed recommended by your car’s manufacturer. Avoid heavy loads on the drivetrain, such as towing trailers, and loading the roof rack or trunk with heavy construction materials. Do not allow your new car to idle for long periods — this is good advice for the life of your car, but especially during the break-in period. The oil pressure generated by doing so may not be sending oil to every part of your engine. Use only light to medium acceleration, keeping the engine RPMs below 3,000 for the first few hours of driving. 2. Drive with care every day Being car considerate shouldn’t stop after the break-in. Drive with care every day and your car will reward you with longer intervals without repair. Do not race your car’s engine during start-up. This is a quick way to add years of wear to your engine, especially if it’s cold outside. Accelerate slowly when you begin your drive. The most wear to the engine and drivetrain occurs in the first 10 to 20 minutes of operation. Warming the engine by letting it idle in the driveway is not a smart idea. The engine doesn’t operate at its peak temperature, resulting in incomplete fuel combustion, soot deposits on cylinder walls, oil contamination, and ultimately damaged components.
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Put less strain on your engine and automatic transmission by shifting to neutral at red lights. Otherwise, the engine is still working to push the car even while it’s stopped. Avoid driving at high speeds and accelerating quickly, especially when it’s very hot or very cold outside. Such driving behavior will result in more frequent repairs. When turning your steering wheel, don’t hold it in an extreme right or left position for more than a few seconds. Doing so can damage the powersteering pump. Consolidate your short driving trips. Most of the wear and tear — as well as the pollution your car generates — takes place in the first few minutes of driving. Doing several errands at once, during low traffic hours if possible, will keep your engine happier longer. 3. Go easy when you’re stuck When stuck in mud or snow, don’t make the problem worse by damaging an expensive component. Gently rocking in an attempt to free the car is fine. But if it looks as though you’re really stuck, don’t keep at it. Throwing your car from forward to reverse repeatedly, as well as spinning tires at high speeds, can generate lots of heat and spell trouble for transmissions, clutches, and differentials. It may be cheaper in the long run to call the tow truck rather than risk big repair bills down the road. It’s a good idea to carry a traction aid in the trunk, such as sand, gravel, or cat litter. 4. Don’t fill up on gas if you see the tanker If you happen to see a gasoline tanker filling the tanks at your local gas station, come back another day or go to a different station. As the
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station’s underground tanks are being filled, the turbulence can stir up sediment. Sediment in your gas can clog fuel filters and fuel injectors, causing poor performance and possibly necessitating repairs. 5. Park in the shade Of course, a garage is always the ideal place to park your car. But if one isn’t available, minimize interior damage from UV sunlight and heat by always trying to park your car in the shade. If no shade is available or if you find parking under a tree results in bird droppings, use a car shade to minimize the sun’s impact. As a bonus, you’ll have a cooler car to step into on hot sunny days. 6. Clean the inside, too Vacuum and sponge your interior every time you wash your car. Dirt particles are abrasive, and spilled liquids, such as soda, can be corrosive. Vacuum your interior thoroughly with a powerful vacuum (small cordless models are generally too weak). Use the appropriate wand heads when vacuuming. The bare metal wand can mar and scratch surfaces. Sponge vinyl surfaces clean with a solution of mild detergent and water. 7. Keep leather from drying out and cracking Leather cars seats are durable and don’t require a lot of maintenance. After a few years, however, the seats can become soiled. Use a leather cleaner to remove dirt and stains. Then apply a leather protectant formulated for pigmented or top-coated grain leather (the leather used for most leather car upholstery). Protectants will resist stains and make the upholstery easier to clean in the future. Choose a protectant that includes conditioners to keep your leather supple. 8. Wash in winter, too If you rarely wash your car during messy winter weather, you are not alone.The cars you see on the road make it obvious that lots of folks figure, ”Why bother? The car is going to look awful the next time I drive it.” The problem with this thinking is that washing is actually more important in the winter than other times of the year.
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All that sand, slush, and ice mixed with road salt is exactly what makes your car rust. The fastest corrosion occurs when the temperature repeatedly rises above and then falls below freezing. Especially during the messy months, be sure to rinse the undercarriage and hard-to-reach areas that are susceptible to rust, such as the bumpers and inside the wheel wells. If the temperature outside is going to stay above freezing long enough for your car and driveway to dry, fill a bucket with warm water and tackle the job at home. If not, pay a visit to your local car wash and be sure they dry the car thoroughly. 9. Maintain proper tire inflation Under-inflated tires are a tire salesman’s best friend. They create excessive heat and stress that can lead to tire failure. If you want to get every last mile out of your tires, get yourself a tire pressure gauge and use it at least once a month (more in hot weather) to keep your tires inflated to the recommendation in the vehicle’s owner’s manual. Check tires when they are cold (driven for less than one mile) for an accurate reading. 10. Check tire tread for safety Most states require tires to be replaced when they have worn down to 1/16-inch (1.5 mm) of remaining tire depth. Tires sold in North America are required to have “wear bars” molded into them to make it easy to see when tire replacement is legally required. However, if you’ll be driving in the rain, you should change your tires when there is 1/8-inch (3 mm) of tread left. Otherwise, water may not escape from under your tires fast enough and you risk hydroplaning — a dangerous situation in which your car loses traction and literally floats on the water. Stick an American quarter between the treads in several places. If part of Washington’s head is always covered, you have enough tread to drive in the rain. If you drive in snow, you’ll need at least 3/16-inch (5 mm) of tread to get adequate traction. Stick an American penny between the treads. If the top of the Lincoln Memorial is always covered, you’re ready for winter driving. To be continued...
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Year-end Planning Checklist for Individuals The year-end is around the corner and now is a great time to take action to save money on taxes. The good news is that there haven’t been too many tax law changes this past year. However, most of the Bushera tax cuts that were extended by Congress will expire at the end of 2012. Congress will also have to consider issues that may result in tax law changes including the expiration of favorable estate and gift rules for estates of descendent dying, gifts made, or generation-skipping transfers made after Dec. 31, 2012. The year-end tax planning is especially challenging this year because of uncertainty over whether Congress will enact extensive tax reform that could have a major impact on 2012. Regardless of what changes Congress might bring, there is still time for solid tax savings to be realized by taking advantage of tax breaks that are on the books for 2011 but may be gone next year unless they are extended by Congress. Below is a checklist of actions based on current tax rules that may help you save tax dollars if you act before the end of this year. Not all actions canapply in your particular situation, but you will likely benefit from many of them. 10 Tax Tips for the year-end • Unless Congress extends it, the up-to-$4,000 above-the-line deduction for qualified higher education expenses will not be available after 2011. Thus, consider prepaying eligible expenses if doing so will increase your deduction for qualified higher education expenses. Generally, the deduction is allowed for qualified education expenses paid in 2011 in connection with enrollment at an institution of higher education during 2011 or for an academic period beginning in 2011 or in the first three months of 2012. • If you are a homeowner, make energy-saving improvements to the residence, such as putting in extra insulation or installing energy-saving windows, and energy efficient heaters or air conditioners. You may qualify for a tax credit if the assets are installed in your home before 2012. • If you expect to owe state and local income taxes when you file your return next year, consider asking your employer to increase withholding of state and local taxes (or pay estimated tax payments of state and local taxes) before year-end to pull the deduction of those taxes into 2011 if doing so won't create an alternative minimum tax (AMT) problem. • Accelerate big ticket purchases into 2011 in order to assure a deduction for sales taxes on the purchases if you will elect to claim a state and local general sales
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tax deduction instead of a state and local income tax deduction. Unless Congress acts, this election won't be available after 2011. • Postpone income until 2012 and accelerate deductions into 2011 to lower your 2011 tax bill. This strategy may enable you to claim larger deductions, credits, and other tax breaks for 2011 that are phased out over varying levels of adjusted gross income (AGI). These include child tax credits, higher education tax credits, the above-the-line deduction for highereducation expenses, and deductions for student loan interest. Postponing income also is desirable for those taxpayers who anticipate being in a lower tax bracket next year due to changed financial circumstances. Note, however, that in some cases, it may pay to actually accelerate income into 2011. For example, this may be the case where a person's marginal tax rate is much lower this year than it will be next year. • Realize losses on stock while substantially preserving your investment position. There are several ways this can be done. For example, you can sell the original holding, and then buy back the same securities at least 31 days later. • Increase the amount you set aside for next year in your employer's health flexible spending account (FSA) if you set aside too little for this year. Don't forget that you can no longer set aside amounts to get tax-free reimbursements for over-the-counter drugs, such as aspirin and antacids. • It may be advantageous to try to arrange with your employer to defer a bonus that may be coming your way until 2012. • Consider using a credit card to prepay expenses that can generate deductions for this year. • You may be able to save taxes this year and next by applying a bunching strategy to “miscellaneous” itemized deductions, medical expenses and other itemized deductions. These are just a few steps you can take to save money on taxes. Speak to your tax professional to develop a specific plan that works best for you. Avraham Kulangiyev, CPA is a senior tax accountant in BDO USA, LLP in midtown Manhattan. He can be reached at : Cell: 718-344-0442 - Work: 212-885-8069 - akulangiyev@bdo.com
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Individual vs. Corporate Charitable Contributions By Ephraim Zucker, EA Owners of interests in corporations sometimes have the choice of giving charity personally or through their corporation. If the company is organized as a regular "C" corporation, there is a major incentive to give it through the corporation, since it saves its owners from two layers of taxation. (There are also major possible reductions of the benefit for many New York taxpayers with an income higher than $100,000. New Jersey does not provide for a charitable deduction at all for individuals. It is also worth noting that while charitable contributions for individuals are deductible, they are disregarded in computing "adjusted gross income", a very important number for many reasons.) However, one important consideration often leads donors to choose a personal deduction - the corporate limit on contributions. Capped at 10% of income, the limit is far lower than the 50% limit (sometimes 30% or 20%) which applies to individuals. One provision which helps corporations avoid this cap is allowing them to carry excess contributions forward, for up to five years. (For example, a contribution from 2011 can be used as late as 2016.) Obviously, this assumes the corporation will have income in future years. Also, this may mean trading a present personal deduction for a future benefit. In some cases, however, such as if you anticipate greater income from the corporation in later years, that can be a smart trade-off. Personal contributions also can be forward five years. Unlike individuals, accrual accounting corporations do not actually have to pay the charity before year-end. If approved by the board of directors, a calendar-year corporation can give the money to charity as late at March 15. (A special election is required. Unlike some other tax deadlines, this one is not postponed by weekends, holidays, or natural disasters. As with individuals, a credit card charge is considered a payment. Most C corporations which have had an average of $5 million in gross receipts over any prior three year period are required to use accrual accounting.) Also unlike individuals, corporation can disregard their deduction for
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domestic production activities for dividends received, and capital-loss carrybacks when calculating their limitations. Neither individuals nor corporations lose the benefit of a charitable deductions if a net operating loss is carried back to an earlier year. Like individuals, gifts of appreciated long-term capital gain property (most property held for more than 1 year) or property used in business and held longer than one year can be deducted by corporations based on the fair market value, even if the appreciation was never included in income. Ordinary income property, such as inventory or receivables, or short-term capitalgain property, can only be deducted to the extent the corporation paid for the property. The same rule applies to most depreciable property to the extent that depreciation has been taken. It is worth noting that there is no such rule for buildings held for use in business, e.g., rentals, even buildings for which significant depreciation has been taken, despite the fact that such property, if sold, would be subject to ordinary tax rates up to 25% for individuals up to the amount of depreciation taken, or, for C corporations, 20% of the gains would be classified as ordinary income. (This is all assuming there were no losses taken on other sales of property used in business over the preceding five years; if there were, all income could potentially be taxed at ordinary rates.) Unlike most other jurisdictions, New York City taxes S corporations. New York City allows S corporations to deduct charitable contributions in determining taxable income up to the 10% limit imposed on all other corporations. Pursuant to requirements imposed by the Internal Revenue Service, any tax advice contained in this article cannot be used for the purpose of avoiding penalties imposed under the United States Internal Revenue Code. Ephraim Zucker, EA is a tax accountant in Flushing, NY. You can contact him at 718-614-9820.
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Health
Vitamins for Healthy Skin By Shmuel Shields, Ph.D., N.Y.S. Certified Nutritionist Several years ago, the fitness director at the Central Queens Y asked me to give a lecture entitled “Vitamins from A to Z: Which vitamins are right for me?” In light of extensive research done in the process of developing VitaShield, my own multivitamin-mineral formula, I would like to share with you some important facts on this topic. First and foremost, all vitamins are essential since the body requires a full range of vitamins every day. Vitamins act as catalysts that encourage critical chemical reactions to take place; adequate intake is necessary to sustain health and life. Minerals play a crucial role as well. In an ideal world, we would get all the vitamins we need from the foods we eat. In addition to vitamins and minerals, foods contain enzymes and other nutrients perfectly balanced for best absorption. Today, however, most of us don’t eat balanced meals; 90% of our foods are processed, compared to only 10% at the turn of the 20th century. Our soil has been depleted and is restored only with the barest amount of synthetic chemicals. Foods lose their nutritional value soon after they’re harvested. For example, a day after a head of spinach is pulled from the ground, it may lose about 50% of its Vitamin C value. Further nutritional losses occur when foods are cooked or exposed to light and oxygen. In addition, certain vitamins are not readily found in most foods. For example, Vitamin D, known as the sunshine vitamin, is only found in significant amounts in oily fish. Deficiencies are fairly common in Americans living in the North, who consume little fish and – for about five months of the year – have very limited sun exposure. Recent research has found that low Vitamin D levels can weaken the bones, cause joint pain, restrict the absorption of calcium, impair muscle tone and balance, and increase the risks of diabetes, heart disease, cancer, multiple sclerosis, and mental illness.
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To maximize your intake of vitamins from A to Z, choose foods wisely. Include colorful fruits and vegetables, whole grains, lean protein, and fish. Add a balanced multivitamin-mineral supplement to prevent deficiencies and boost your vitamin D intake. Keep in mind that vitamins are not created equal and that the vitamin industry is unregulated. It would be best to get assistance from a health care professional who can guide you to a properly balanced supplement produced by a reliable manufacturer. As far as skin health is concerned, the latest research shows that vitamins and minerals in all forms play an integral role in a healthy complexion, whether their source is food, supplements, or topical creams. According to Rhonda Narins, MD, of NYU’s School of Medicine, most people can get all the nutrients their skin needs from a multivitamin and a healthy, balanced diet. Further lifestyle suggestions offered on webmd.com are to drink plenty of water, use gentle products for skin cleansing, and always wear sunscreen. Finally, a certain percentage of older adults have low Vitamin B-12 levels, which may affect cognitive functioning and memory. It becomes more difficult to absorb Vitamin B-12 from foods as we age, whereas the Vitamin B-12 found in supplements is in a more easily absorbable form. It is advisable to have certain vitamin and mineral levels checked in order to avoid deficiencies. More common deficiencies include Vitamin B-12, Vitamin C, Vitamin D, Iron, Magnesium, and Zinc. To learn more about the latest developments in nutrition and for further product information about VitaShield, visit www.drshieldsnutrition.com. Dr. Shmuel Shields, Certified Nutritionist, is a provider for many health insurance plans. For more information, call 718-544-4036 or contact him at rmshields62@verizon.net. Dr. Shields’ health lectures can be viewed on www.torahanytime.com.
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SPECIAL OPPORTUNITY!! To dedicate a Dvar Torah in the CHAZAQ Magazine in Memory, for the Refuah Shlema, or in honor of a loved one, Please Call 718-285-9132 Monthly and yearly dedications are available, so if you’d like to dedicate Torah that is read by THOUSANDS of people, this is an opportunity that should not be passed up. Don’t hesitate... give us a call and be part of this great Mitzvah! www.CHAZAQ.org
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You Can Do It! around! From now on, think that everything you're doing for yourself is a gift. The child in each of us hates to feel deprived. The child screams to make the hurt go away with a cookie. We make the emotional pain of feeling deprived go away with a positive thought. By Howard Spielman One of the key ingredients to following a food plan, something I hardly mention, is called willingness. What good is it to know that you have a problem with food? You have to know just what you have to do and exactly what foods you should be eating. If you are reading this column and are overweight, I can only assume you are still looking for a solution. This means, within your heart there still burns a tiny flame, a flicker of hope. Perhaps what I write can fan that spark of hope into a flaming desire to begin again and this time succeed. And not only succeed, but remain a success, because this is the time you will have gained the knowledge you need to keep yourself on a healthy track. But again, not only is a change in food required, but a change in attitude about that food. I was a hopeless case. I had tried and failed so many, many times. That is why I write about myself. Let me be the proof you need to give you the incentive, to take a chance to start again and this time succeed. Why bother if the goal is unattainable? However, if I can, by my example and coaching, show you exactly how to achieve your fondest dreams, just to become a normal person, then perhaps this will give you the willingness to travel this difficult road. Let's talk of deprivation and how to turn it
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When they cut up the birthday cake in my office and everyone is munching away except me, I honestly don't feel deprived. I view the refusal of a piece of cake as a gift I've given myself. I don't mind people eating things around me that I no longer choose to eat as some sort of punishment. Again, I view it as a gift. So what's the gift, you're asking? Go back and reread the last few sentences and this time pull out the word "choose". That's the gift- "I choose not to do something." The ability to make a choice about what food I should or shouldn't eat is the gift I've given myself. When I weighed 400 pounds, I didn't have the ability to make a choice. I ate whatever food came my way, whether I was hungry or not. By following a food plan, I cultivated the ability to make choices (what a gift!). I have learned that if I make the right choices, I'm going to end up in the right places. When it comes to life, making the right choices is a little more difficult. But when it comes to food (if you have some sound nutritional information) the choices are crystal clear. Sound choices in all aspects of your life is an ability you can cultivate. When you learn to do it, it becomes a gift to yourself every time. Just remember that when you make the right choices, your ability to keep making them constantly becomes stronger. Your own self esteem rises and you begin to actually like yourself again. You can do it!
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Q- I have heard that fish oil is beneficial for me‌is that true? A- There is evidence from multiple studies that omega-3 fatty acids in the form of dietary fish or fish oil supplements lowers triglycerides, reduces the risk of death, heart attack, dangerous abnormal heart rhythms, and strokes in people with known cardiovascular disease, slows the buildup of atherosclerotic plaques ("hardening of the arteries"), and lowers blood pressure slightly. Dietary sources of omega-3 fatty acids include fish oil, certain nut oils and and vegetable oils (canola, soybean, flaxseed/linseed, olive). Multiple human trials report small reductions in blood pressure with the intake of omega-3 fatty acids. However, high intakes of omega-3 fatty acids per day may be necessary to obtain clinically relevant effects, and at this dose level, there is an increased risk of bleeding. There is strong scientific evidence from human trials that omega-3 fatty acids from fish or fish oil supplements significantly reduce blood triglyceride levels. Benefits appear to be increased with greater consumption. Fish oil supplements also appear to cause small improvements in high-density lipoprotein (HDL/"good cholesterol"); however, increases (worsening) in low-density lipoprotein levels (LDL/"bad cholesterol") are also observed. Several well-conducted trials report that in people with a history of heart attack, regular consumption of oily fish or fish oil/omega-3 supplements reduces the risk of non-fatal heart attack, fatal heart attack, sudden death, and all-cause mortality (death due to any cause). Most patients in these studies were also using conventional heart drugs, suggesting that the benefits of fish oils may add to the effects of other therapies. Because of the risk of bleeding from omega-3 fatty acids, a qualified healthcare provider should be consulted prior to starting treatment with supplements.
striped sea bass, tuna (albacore), and whitefish. It is also recommended to consume plant-derived sources of alpha-linolenic acid, such as tofu, soybeans, walnuts, flaxseed oil, and canola oil. The World Health Organization and governmental health agencies of several countries recommend consuming 0.3-0.5 grams of daily EPA + DHA and 0.8-1.1 grams of daily alpha-linolenic acid. A doctor should be consulted for dosing for other conditions. Omega-3 fatty acids are used in some infant formulas, although effective doses are not clearly established. Ingestion of fresh fish should be limited in young children due to the presence of potentially harmful environmental contaminants. Fish oil capsules should not be used in children except under the direction of a physician. [DISCLAIMER: The U.S. Food and Drug Administration does not strictly regulate herbs and supplements. The doses are based on scientific research, publications, traditional use, or expert opinion. Many herbs and supplements have not been thoroughly tested, and safety and effectiveness may not be proven. Brands may be made differently, with variable ingredients, even within the same brand. The doses may not apply to all products. You should always read product labels, and discuss doses with a qualified healthcare provider before starting therapy. Consult a healthcare provider immediately if you experience side effects.] Dr. Bennett is board certified in both Internal Medicine and Emergency Medicine. He is available in his Kew Gardens Hills office most evenings and weekends and can be reached at 646-623-3350. Send your questions to askdoctorb@ yahoo.com and we may use it in next issue of the CHAZAQ Magazine!
Recommended daily intake of omega-3 fatty acids (healthy adults) : For healthy adults with no history of heart disease, the American Heart Association recommends eating fish at least two times per week. In particular, fatty fish are recommended, such as anchovies, bluefish, carp, catfish, halibut, herring, lake trout, mackerel, pompano, salmon,
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By Spencer Spielman (Official Caterer of Yeshiva Chofetz Chaim in Queens) Greek Stuffed Flounder with Vegetables
Turkey Chili
2 8oz fillets of fresh flounder 1 medium onion, diced 1 1/2 cups broccoli (frozen) florets 1 cup cauliflower (frozen) florets 4 cloves garlic, chopped 3/4 cup feta cheese 3/4 cup mozzarella cheese 1/3 teaspoon salt 2 pinches of pepper 3 basil leaves, chopped 1/5 cup of canola oil 1 tablespoon olive oil
1 1/2 pounds thigh meat turkey, cut in cubes 2 medium Spanish onions, diced 2 cloves chopped garlic 1 orange pepper small, diced 1 red pepper small, diced 1 carrot, shredded 1/3 cup BBQ sauce 1/4 cup ketchup 2 tablespoons brown sugar 1/4 teaspoons crushed red pepper 1/3 teaspoon salt 1/4 teaspoon black pepper 2 pinches cumin 1/3 cup oil
Saute onion, garlic, broccoli, and cauliflower. Then cool mix in feta and mozzarella. Add 1/4 teaspoon salt, top with basil then stuff fish. Drizzle olive oil. Top with pinch of salt, paprika. Bake open at 350 degrees for 20-25 minutes. Enjoy!
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Saute onions and garlic in oil for 2 minutes, then add carrots, orange pepper, red pepper and turkey. Cook for 15 minutes. While stirring, add BBQ sauce, ketchup, sugar, salt, black pepper, cumin, and crushed red pepper. Cook 10 more minutes then put in casserole dish. Bake in oven for one hour at 325 degrees. Serve with taco chips, rice and guacamole. Enjoy!
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Fun Pages By Naftali Szrolovits Generous Lawyer A local United Way office realized that the organization had never received a donation from the town's most successful lawyer. The person in charge of contributions called him to persuade him to contribute. "Our research shows that out of a yearly income of at least $500,000, you give not a penny to charity. Wouldn't you like to give back to the community in some way?" The lawyer mulled this over for a moment and replied, "First, did your research also show that my mother is dying after a long illness, and has medical bills that are several times her annual income?" Embarrassed, the United Way rep mumbled, "Um ... no." The lawyer interrupts, "or that my brother, a disabled veteran, is blind and confined to a wheelchair?" The stricken United Way rep began to stammer out an apology, but was interrupted again. "or that my sister's husband died in a traffic accident," the lawyer's voice rising in indignation, "leaving her penniless with three children?!" The humiliated United Way rep, completely beaten, said simply, "I had no idea..." On a roll, the lawyer cut him off once again, "So if I don't give any money to them, why should I give any to you?" Farmer Joe and his Mule Farmer Joe decided his injuries from his recent accident were serious enough to take the trucking company responsible for the accident to court. In court, the trucking company's fancy lawyer was questioning farmer Joe. "Didn't you say, at the scene of the accident, that you were fine?"
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"Well, I'll tell you what happened. I had just loaded my favorite mule Bessie into the--" "I didn't ask for any details," the lawyer interrupted. "Just answer the question. Did you not say, at the scene of the accident, that you were fine?" "Well I had just got Bessie into the trailer and was driving down the road--" "Judge, I am trying to establish the fact that, at the scene of the accident, this man told the Highway Patrolman on the scene that he was just fine. Now several weeks after the accident he is trying to sue my client. I believe he is a fraud. Please tell him to simply answer the question." By this time the Judge was fairly interested in Farmer Joe's answer and told the lawyer so. "Well," said the farmer, "as I was saying, I had just loaded Bessie, my favorite mule, into the trailer and was driving her down the highway when this huge semi-truck and trailer ran the stop sign and smacked my truck right in the side. I was thrown into one ditch and Bessie was thrown into the other. I was hurting real bad and didn't want to move. However, I could hear ol' Bessie moaning and groaning. I knew she was in terrible shape just by her groans. "Shortly after the accident a Highway Patrolman came on the scene. He could hear Bessie moaning and groaning so he went over to her. After he looked at her he took out his gun and shot her between the eyes. "Then the Patrolman came across the road with his gun in his hand and looked at me. "He said, 'Your mule was in such bad shape I had to shoot her. How are you feeling?'" Chicken Farmer An intellectually-challenged man decided to start a chicken farm, so he bought a hundred
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chickens to begin with. A month later he returned to the dealer for another hundred chickens because all of the first lot had died. A month later he was back at the dealer for another hundred chickens, for the second lot had also died. "But I think I know where I'm going wrong," said the farmer, "I think I'm planting them too deep."
Sudoku Puzzle
The object of the game is to insert the proper number into the boxes to complete the puzzle. Each box, row, and column must contain the numbers 1 through 9, only one time each. Good Luck!
"My Wife is Poisoning Me" A man goes to see the rabbi. "Rabbi, something terrible is happening and I have to talk to you about it." The rabbi asks, "What's wrong?" The man replies, "My wife is poisoning me." The rabbi, very surprised by this, asks, "How can that be?" The man then pleads, "I'm telling you, I'm certain she's poisoning me, what should I do?" The rabbi then offers, "Tell you what. Let me talk to her, I'll see what I can find out and I'll let you know."
Solution to last Issu
e’s puzzle
A week later the rabbi calls the man and says, "Well, I spoke to your wife. I spoke to her on the phone for over three hours. You want my advice?" The man anxiously says, "Yes." "Take the poison," says the rabbi.
Can you make us laugh? If so, send in your most hilarious jokes to: Email: Magazine@Chazaq.org Fax: 718-255-5803 Mail: 144 – 02 69th Rd Flushing, NY 11367
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Check Out
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Strange but True News Prison Loses Set Of Keys, Must Replace Every Lock The inmates are locked up, but where's the key? A London Prison officer's set of keys has gone missing and now every lock at one of the country's largest prisons must be replaced, a union official said. "Nobody knows how the keys have gone missing," a prison official said. "They were there at one particular key check, then they were gone." "You wouldn't want someone coming into possession of a set of security keys," he added. He said its not the first time he's heard of keys going missing, but he's learned it will take three weeks for all of the locks – including cell locks – to be replaced. It wasn't immediately clear how much it would cost to replace the locks. Birmingham Prison houses around 1,400 "category B" prisoners – the second most serious class of offender. Officials would not say how many prison officers work in the facility, exactly what keys had been lost and what those keys unlocked. It was also not immediately clear if the keys had been found. (AP News) Millions of Bees Escape From Overturned Tractor-Trailer A truck hauling millions of bees overturned in southern Utah and authorities were left trying to capture the swarming insects. The tractor-trailer was carrying an estimated 25 million bees when it overturned on Interstate 15 near St. George. There was no immediate word on how many of the bees escaped but authorities were consulting with the Utah Department of Agriculture to determine how to capture or eliminate them. The driver of the semi and a passenger were transported to a local hospital due to injuries caused by the bees. Authorities recommended drivers in the area to keep their windows closed. The crash closed the southbound lanes of I-15 for several hours. The driver said the bees were worth around $116,00. (AP News) Overwhelmed By Freedom, Inmate Sets Fire to Go Back to Prison Life outside of prison proved overwhelming for a Texas man, who set a house on fire months after his release so he could go back behind bars. Randall Lee Church, 46, spent 26 years behind bars for stabbing a man to death, and when he was released in April, he found freedom too much to take. He missed his old prison job. “Everything had gone fast forward without me,” he said from Bexar County Jail. “I didn't know how to use computers or cell phones or the Internet. The weirdest thing was walking into a store, like Walmart, and have parents hide their children from me, like I was supposed to jump at them.” Three months after his release, Church poured gasoline through a window of an empty house, then threw in flaming rags and paper towels. He admitted his crime to police and has already pleaded guilty. (NBC News) Miss. Man Buys 150 Pizzas from Mass. Restaurant A Mississippi man who grew up in Massachusetts goes to great lengths for a good pizza. About 1,400 miles. David Schuler returned to Jackson, Miss., with 150 pies from Town Spa Pizza, a restaurant in his home town of Stoughton, just outside Boston. It's a tradition he started years ago when he couldn't find a good slice in Mississippi. He returned with 150 frozen, vacuum-sealed pies. That was a record for him. They cost $1,200. He made the 16-state trek in 24 hours, munching on Town Spa pizzas he kept on the passenger seat. Restaurant manager Kerry Hughes said he ships pizzas as far as California and Florida, but Schuler is his best out-of-state customer. (AP News) Owners Baffled by Theft of 50-foot-long Pa. Bridge A 50-foot-long bridge in western Pennsylvania has been stolen, and its owners say they're baffled by the crime and have no idea who took it. New Castle Development spokesman Gary Bruce said that he "couldn't believe it when they told me it was gone." A state police report says the 20-foot-wide span in North Beaver Township went missing sometime after Sept. 27. The bridge was made out of corrugated steel and valued at about $100,000. Thieves used a blowtorch to cut it apart, presumably to sell it for scrap metal. The bridge was used occasionally as a back entrance to the company property. It's in the woods along a railroad line about 60 miles north of Pittsburgh. Bruce says he doubts the company can replace the bridge. (AP)
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Advertise with CHAZAQ Magazine! Call: 718-285-9132 Computer Lessons for You. Patient, experienced, skilled teacher. General Computer Skills, Office Programs, Graphic Design, Web Design. All ages/levels welcome. Reasonably priced. Bring a friend for reduced fee. Odelia: 718-261-0936, odelia191@gmail.com
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באותו החודש -היה זה הערב הראשון של חנוכה. כשהלכתי לבקר את קלייר ,היא ישבה בחדר חשוך, מבטה מרותק לנורות הפלסטיק בחנוכייה הסטרילית של בית החולים הניצבת על אדן החלון" .איזה חיקוי עלוב לחנוכייה" ,חשבתי ,בעודי מתבוננת. אבל קלייר הייתה נלהבת" .תמיד אהבתי את נרות החנוכה .הם כל כך מלאי תקווה". רק אז שמתי לב כיצד הנורות העמומות משתקפות בחלון ונראות כאילו הן נוצצות בתיאום עם אורות העיר הפרושים מתחת .היא המשיכה בקול שקט" ,את יודעת, לא הייתי אמורה להבריא בפעם האחרונה"... ידעתי זאת .האונקולוג שלה אמר לי שהיה זהו נס שהיא החלימה מהסרטן הראשון ,ושהוא היה המום לשמוע כמה טוב היא מגיבה לטיפול" .שמונה השנים האחרונות האלה היו פשוט מתנה .טיילנו ...הכרתי שני נכדים "...קולה רעד מעט" .אני אצליח שוב ,אני יודעת". גרוני נשנק ,כך שכל שיכולתי לעשות היה להניד בראשי.
לתמיכה .לסתו ההדוקה ופניו האפורות והכחושות הבהירו ללא מילים את הזוועה של החודש האחרון. בעודו מתבונן בה ,הוא נשך את שפתיו .כשניגשתי לחדרה ,הוא הניד בראשו ,בקושי מרים את מבטו. כשהתבוננתי פנימה ,אפילו אני הייתי המומה .חדרה שהידהד בעבר מקולות צחוק והיה מלא אור היה כעת שקט באופן מוזר ,מלבד הצפצוף הקצבי של מכונת ההנשמה .נפוחה ,קירחת וחיוורת ,היא הייתה דוממת לחלוטין ,מלבד הנשימות המאולצות .בלעתי את רוקי כשנפלו עיניי על פיסת הצבע היחידה בחדר -תמונה של הרקדנים הצוחקים כשעל ראשם פיאות צבעוניות - שהודבקה למוט העירוי. בעלה לחש" ,זה לא עובד ...בפעם הבאה שלבה יפסיק, לא ננסה להחיותה .הגיע ...הגיע הזמן"... ידעתי שעם קריסת מערכות כמו שלה ,זה לא יימשך זמן רב .וכך היה .ביום המחרת החל לבה לפרפר. כשהלב במצוקה ,הוא שולח אותות חשמליים וקצב הלב הנראה על גבי המוניטור רועד באי ודאות .לאחר שראיתי זאת על צג המוניטור ,נכנסתי לומר למשפחה שזה קורה ,אבל הם כבר ידעו והקיפו את מיטתה, כשהם אומרים לה כמה הם אוהבים אותה.
"בואי ,הסתכלי בתמונות החדשות האלה" ,התבהרו פניה בשעה שהרימה אותן מהכוננית שליד מיטתה. "את מאמינה? בעלי תיכנן מסיבת יום נישואין - 35הוא קנה לכולם פאות ,כדי שלא אהיה לבד". התבוננתי וראיתי אנשים רבים שהכרתי -כולם צוחקים וחובשים פאות צבעוניות של ליצנים" .חבורה של אנשים מבוגרים ורציניים בפיאות מטופשות ...רקדנו עד אחת לפנות בוקר!" קלייר הנידה בראשה ,הדמעות נקוות בעיניה" .זה היה כל כך מגוחך! אבל ,הו ,איך רקדנו"... קולה גווע.
ניגשתי בחזרה אל המוניטור .בתור רופאה ,אין דבר סוריאליסטי יותר מאשר לצפות במוניטור בזמן שחולה מת .זוהי חוויה של ניתוק מוחלט מצד אחד ,אך היא אישית באופן מבהיל מצד שני .ככל שהלב מתעייף ,הקו רועד לעתים תכופות יותר ויותר ,עד שכוחותיו כלים ואז הוא פועם את פעימתו האחרונה ,הקו מפרפר בפראות ואז כלום ...הקו הופך שטוח וזהו זה.
ישבנו שם ,בלילה ,מביטות בתמונות של ליצנים רוקדים, מוארות באור הכתום המוזר של חנוכיית הפלסטיק.
נכנסתי לחדרה כדי להכריז על מותה .אפילו לפני שהנחתי את הסטטוסקופ שלי על חזה השקט ומיששתי את פרק ידה הקריר כדי לאשר שאין דופק ,ידעתי שרוחה עזבה את גופה .אולם ,רעדתי כשקלטתי שאני עדיין חשה את נוכחותה המתוקה מתמהמהת עמנו.
יום המחרת היה היום הראשון של חודש החופשה שלי. קלייר אמורה הייתה לעזוב ברגע שיעלה מספר תאי הדם הלבנים שתפקידם להילחם בזיהום בדמה. ארבעה שבועות לאחר מכן ,בשובי מהחופשה ,נכנסתי ליחידת הטיפול הנמרץ לצורך הסבב הבא .החוורתי כשראיתי את שמה של קלייר על הלוח. באימה ,התבוננתי בגיליון שלה -פחדיי הגרועים ביותר התגשמו .תאי הדם הלבנים שלה לא חזרו לעצמם וכיוון שהייתה למעשה נטולת הגנה ,היא נדבקה באחד הזיהומים הקטלניים ביותר :דלקת ריאות פטרייתית. היא הייתה בטיפול נמרץ במשך שלושה וחצי שבועות, בתרדמת בשבועיים האחרונים וכעת הייתה מחוברת למכונת הנשמה .ריאותיה היו מלאות נוזלים ,כליותיה כשלו והכבד שלה החל להתדרדר.
אפילו כעת ,למעלה מעשר שנים לאחר מכן ,בנר ראשון של חנוכה ,אחרי שנאכלו הלביבות ונפתחו המתנות, אני יושבת בחדר חשוך ומביטה בנרות הדולקים .אני מתאמצת לשמוע את ה"סססס" הזעיר בשעה שהנר כבה והעשן שנותר ממלא את האוויר במהות מתוקה שנסתיימה .אבל החלק הטוב ביותר הוא רגע לפני שהנרות נכנעים ,כשהם עדיין דולקים .אני נדהמת לראות שבעודם עומדים בפני האפלה המתקרבת ,אולי דווקא בגללה ,הם זוהרים באור כה חזק .אפילו כשהם מתקרבים לסוף ,הם ממשיכים לרטוט ולרקוד.
הצצתי לכיוון חדרה וראיתי את בעלה ,נשען על הדלת
הו ,איך שהם רוקדים.
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חודשיים קודם לכן אובחנה קלייר כסובלת מסוג נדיר ואגרסיבי של סרטן הדם ,שמונה שנים לאחר שטופלה בהצלחה בסרטן העצמות. עובדות חמורות אלו תיארו את מצבה הרפואי ,אבל הן לא תיארו כלל את רוח הסערה שהייתה קלייר. כשנכנסתי לחדרה ,בירכה אותי בחום אישה בהירת עיניים .היא חבשה טורבן כתום סביב ראשה ,עגילי חישוק גדולים קישטו את תנוכי אוזניה וחיוך גדול עיטר את פניה.
אורות החנוכייה הזעירים נלחמים במצח נחושה באפלת הלילה ,הופכים את חדותו האכזרית של הפחד לליטוף רך של תקווה.
"שלום ,הרופאה החדשה שלי!" היא קראה והחלה לעדכן אותי בכל הפרטים הרפואיים שידעה שאשאל. ברור היה שהיא כבר עברה תהליך זה בעבר. "עכשיו ,ספרי לי על עצמך" ,חייכה.
מאת ד"ר ג'קי יאריס אינני יודעת אם יש דבר קר ומפחיד יותר מלילה של אמצע החורף .אפילו הירח -הנוהג להשקיף מגובה נמוך ופניו מסבירות -נסוג .נתיניו הכוכבים לוטשים מבטים כעוסים למרחק ,ואורם הלבן אינו מספק נחמה. סבורתני כי אחת הסיבות לכך שתמיד מצאתי את נרות החנוכייה כה מסקרנים ,היא עוצמת החשכה .האורות הזעירים נלחמים במצח נחושה באפלת הלילה; מלאי כוח ,הם הופכים את חדותו האכזרית של הפחד לליטוף רך של תקווה .שמונת לילות החנוכה מאז ומתמיד היו זמן מיוחד עבורי. אבל אף אחד מאותם לילות לא היה מיוחד כמו אותו לילה שבו ביליתי כמתמחה במחלקה האונקולוגית. הזמן היה חודש דצמבר ,חצי שנה לאחר שהתחלתי את ההתמחות שלי ,והייתי מותשת ומטושטשת מרוב עייפות ,מנסה "לסחוב" עד ינואר -החודש שבו אוכל סופסוף לצאת לחופשה .אני זוכרת שחשבתי כמה מתאים ,שבלילה החשוך ביותר בשנה אני בודקת חולים המתמודדים עם מה שהוא ,קרוב לוודאי ,הזמן האפל ביותר בחייהם .כדי להקל מעט על הכבדות האופפת את המחלקה באופן קבוע ,ניסה הצוות להפיח מעט עליצות חגיגית במחלקה ,אבל אורות הפלורוסנט גרמו אפילו לנרות החנוכייה הצבעוניים ביותר להחוויר ,כך שהכל נראה בעל גוון ירקרק חולני. לאחר שבועות מספר שבהם פגשתי מקרים טרגיים רבים וסבל כה רב ,הייתי משוכנעת לחלוטין שבכל אחד ואחד ממכריי מקנן סרטן שטרם אובחן .נקודת המבט שלי על החיים הפכה להיות דכאונית וקודרת. עד שפגשתי את קלייר. קלייר הייתה אישה בת 57שאושפזה לטיפול כימותרפי בן שבועיים .לסרטן יש הרגל מגונה ביותר -לשוב ולבקר אצל קורבנותיו לשעבר; תכופות ,זהו ביקור קטלני יותר.
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הייתי מופתעת .בדרך כלל ,ואין בכך פלא ,חולים במצבים דומים הם המומים למדי וממוקדים בעצמם. אבל לא קלייר; היא הקרינה התעניינות כה אמיתית, שהתחלתי לדבר .בעודי מדברת ,הבחנתי בשפע התמונות שהחל כבר לעטר את קירות חדרה -תמונות של מבוגרים וצעירים ,תמיד בחברת קלייר ,מחייכת חיוך רחב ומאירה את התמונה .איכשהו ,בזמן כה קצר, היא הצליחה להפוך את חדר בית החולים החדגוני והסטרילי למקום מלא צבע וחום. במהלך השבועות הבאים ,נמשכתי לחדרה .פגשתי את בעלה -הם היו נשואים מזה 35שנה .הוא היה שותף במשרד עו"ד מצליח והיה ההפך הגמור ממנה -רציני כשהיא הייתה קלילה ,מאופק כשהיא הייתה תוססת ולא תמיד משתף פעולה עם בדיחותיה .אבל מסירותו נצצה בעיניו והיה ברור עד כמה הוא זקוק לה .לסתו המהודקת התרככה רק כשדיבר אליה ,הטון החם והאוהב בקולו שמור רק למענה. גם חבריה הרבים של קלייר היו מעורבים מאוד .נקשרתי במיוחד לשני ילדיה הבוגרים -שניהם בתחילת דרכם המקצועית ,בתה עם משפחה צעירה ,פניהם המתוחות מבהירות כמה קרועים הם בין תחומי האחריות הרבים שלהם לבין לבותיהם הנשברים בגלל אמם. כשהפכתי לרופאה ,עשיתי זאת כדי לתת .אני חושבת שקלייר הייתה החולה הראשונה שגרמה לי להבין עד כמה אני מקבלת וכמה אכפת לי .התפעלתי כל כך .אפילו בעיתות של כאב ופחד ,היא נאחזה בחיים בלהט .היא האירה את הנסיבות הקודרות ,כשהיא קוראת עליהן תגר ,וללא מילה הביאה אותי -להעריך מחדש את חיי. כוחה ,חוכמתה וזקיפות קומתה ,כמו גם רבים אחרים שפגשתי מאז שפגשתי אותה ,גרמו לי לחוש ענווה רבה לנוכח הזוהר המדהים שמקרינה הרוח האנושית. לעולם לא אשכח את הלילה האחרון שלי בתורנות
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)1תנו חשיבות לבריאות – קבעו זמן לפעול למען בריאותכם! )2מצאו לעצמכם שותף .לפעמים קוראים להם חברים לדיאטה או חברים לאימון .טוב שתהיה לכם אחריות על אדם נוסף מלבד על עצמכם ,אז מצאו לכם שותף .גם בן הזוג יכול להיות רעיון טוב.
החלטתם לעשות כושר ולשמור על )3השקיעו בסביבה שלכם .אל תכניסו לבית הבריאות? השאלה היא איך שומרים דברים שאינם טובים לכם או שאתם נוטים לאכול על ההחלטה... ללא שליטה ,כמו חטיפים מלוחים או מתוקים. )4שמרו את בגדי ההתעמלות בהישג יד .שימו מאת אלן פריישטאט אותם במקום שתוכלו ללבוש ולנעול אותם ריח סתיו באוויר .ראש השנה ,יום כיפור ,סוכות בקלות ובמהירות .לפעמים כל מה שצריכים הוא להתלבש ואתם מוכנים ללכת! ושמחת תורה כבר מאחורינו ,וחורף ארוך וסגרירי עומד בפתחנו .כעת אנו עומדים מול האתגר לחיות למעשה את ההחלטות שקיבלנו )5הציבו לעצמכם מטרות – לא בהכרח ירידה במשקל .בדקו כמה זמן אתם יכולים ללכת לקראת השנה החדשה. ובאיזו מהירות .קבעו מטרות שבועיות וחודשיות כולנו יודעים מה קורה להן בדרך כלל – ולרוב ,והגדילו בהדרגה את המרחק או את הקצב. קבעו מטרות כמו מידה קטנה יותר בבגדים. גורל ההחלטות הקשורות בדאגה לבריאות שלנו אינו שונה .בתחילת השנה מספר החברויות במועדוני הכושר נוסק ,כשכמה חודשים אחר כך )6תגמלו את עצמכם .מה תעשו עבור עצמכם אחוזי הנשירה מדהימים .אנשים שרכשו מנויים לכשתשיגו את המטרה? נסו לא להשתמש באוכל כגמול. לחצי שנה או שנה ,מפסיקים להגיע .ההתרגשות הראשונית מתנדפת אט אט ,ואנחנו שוקעים )7תנו לעצמכם קרדיט! כשעשיתם משהו שהיה חזרה לרוטינת היומיום. לכם קשה ,כשאתם מצליחים לשבור הרגל מה נוכל לעשות כדי ששנה זאת תהיה שונה? שלילי ,כתבו זאת ותנו לעצמכם טפיחה הגונה ומוצדקת על השכם... השלב הראשון הוא להתרכז בשלושה תחומים עיקריים – התעמלות ,אכילה נכונה והפחתת )8כתבו הכל! ערכו דו"ח בריאות אישי .בין אם לחץ .ההתעמלות אמורה לכלול תוכנית אירובית זאת תצרוכת האוכל או שזה תרגול ההתעמלות מאוזנת 4-5פעמים בשבוע ,אימון כושר פעמיים – רשמו ותעדו הכל .ערכו יומן ,ותארו גם את עד שלוש בשבוע ומתיחות על בסיס יומי .תוכנית הרגשתכם בסופו של יום או אחרי כל תרגול. תזונה טובה חייבת לכלול ירקות ,פירות ,דגנים מלאים וחלבונים בריאים .אזנו את רמת הלחץ עכשיו ,כשהחגים כבר מאחורינו ,ואחרי שלכם על ידי שילוב של פתרון בעיות מעשי עם שהתחננו לאלוקים שישמור על בריאותנו ,אנחנו טכניקות הרפיה .רוטינת ההתעמלות שלכם צריכים למלא את חלקנו ולהתאמץ להצליח – מהווה אף היא מרכיב חיוני בהפחתת הלחץ .באמצעות אכילה נכונה ,התעמלות ,הפחתת לחץ והרבה תפילה! כיצד נוכל ליצור את השינוי הנחוץ ולשמור על החלטותינו? 718-285-9132
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