The Top 3 Most Important Dating Directions…Ever! (And other things you wish you’d known… Years before NOW!)
by Cherry Norris The Hollywood Dating Director www.datingdirector.com Copyright 2008, Dating Director, Inc. All Rights Reserved
The Top 3 Most Important Dating Directions … Ever!
Hi There, Have you ever been in a situation where you’re asked, “How’s it going?” And you say, “Great. Great. Everything’s great.” And you’re asked, “How’s your love life?” And you’re thinking, “uh…not so great.” And you’re pressed, “Why’s that? You’re beautiful. Successful. Men must be all over you!” And you’re doing the best you can to come up with why you’re still single. So you say something like, “I dunno. I guess I haven’t met the right one.” Or, “I dunno. All the men I meet are jerks. (Especially in this town.)” And you’re thinking, “I dunno. What’s wrong with me. Why aren’t men I like asking me out? Why am I turning them off?” It’s hell! It feels so unfair! You know you’re attractive. And pretty. (You’ve even been called adorable.) You’re generous and smart. You’re interesting and fun. You’ve got a good job and great friends. Life is full and yet…you’re lonely. At times you feel so desperate you pray to God “GIVE HIM TO ME NOW!” You pray he shows up at your door! You’re tired and bored of meeting every Tony, Doug and Larry your friends and family set you up with.
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The Top 3 Most Important Dating Directions … Ever!
Or you finally meet someone and it’s great! And just as you think things are really good and you’re ready to take it to the next level, “POOF” he’s gone. WTF? Sometimes you think about giving up on the whole thing. It’s FINE being single. You’ll be fine. You promise. You swear. And you are. Except… You’d like to experience a romantic relationship. For once, you’d like to know exactly how it is with another person. You’d like to experience who you’d be in a long-term relationship. You’d like to experience a different side of life. And you believe in yourself. You believe it’s possible to find this. You believe it’s possible for you to be in love…REAL love. The longterm, lasting kind. The soul-to-soul connected kind. You believe it’s possible. But you don’t know how to get it. You want and need a different direction…a different understanding of what’s going on. •
You want to make him notice you.
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You want him to hear you and understand you.
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You want him to fall more in love with you.
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And you want to become a better woman so you can work easier and live better.
You would do this if you knew how. You would do this if you stayed in your integrity and with your values and morals in tact. The Hollywood Dating Director 815-301-3244 · info@datingdirector.com · www.datingdirector.com Page 3
The Top 3 Most Important Dating Directions … Ever!
And you would feel freer with yourself, becoming more of the spiritual, graceful, powerful woman that you are… You’d do it wouldn’t you? You’d say, “Hell Yes!” You’d say, “I want to know what to do differently! You’d say, “I’m tired of wasting time with men I’m not attracted to or interested in!” “I’m over staying in relationships too long!” “I want to find my guy A.S.A.P.!” If you’re saying, “HELL YES!!”
Then you’ve absolutely come to the right place! You see…I’ve been exactly where you are now. I know how it feels and I learned how to do something about it. And I’m going to share it with you right now. But first, you might be asking yourself, “Who is Cherry Norris, The Hollywood Dating Director? And why should I listen to what she has to say?” Let me tell you a story. I didn’t grow up thinking I would become The Hollywood Dating Director, but here we are. Instead I grew up putting on shows. Mostly in the back yard or in my grandparent’s living room. I loved drama and theatre. I loved movies and love stories. And I loved LOVE. Especially the idea of being in love. I looked for it in many places. (We won’t say how many.) The Hollywood Dating Director 815-301-3244 · info@datingdirector.com · www.datingdirector.com Page 4
The Top 3 Most Important Dating Directions … Ever!
Let’s just say I looked for it in one-night stands, brief affairs and even a six-month marriage. I couldn’t find it. The men I liked didn’t want to date me. The ones who liked me I didn’t want to get next to. (Sound familiar?) My friends said I was great. So strong. So powerful. (Powerful. Isn’t that a good thing?) In my late 30’s, I realized that if I kept going the way I was going, I would stay single the rest of my life. (Not that there’s anything wrong with that. Single is a great lifestyle.) (I did single VERY well!) But I wanted to experience who I was in a long-term romantic relationship. And I knew I would have to do something different. But what? My biggest lesson on how romantic relationships work was through writing, directing and producing a feature length romantic comedy called DUTY DATING, based on the book, “Getting to ‘I Do’,” by Dr. Patricia Allen. DUTY DATING is about a woman who on the advice of a love doctor does all the right things to marry the wrong man. So what exactly is a Duty Date? A DUTY DATE is a horrible experience. It’s when you’re on a date and you’re bored out of your mind; and you’re wishing the guy would choke on a bone or drown in his soup; and you’re watching the clock, wishing the date was over and his touch makes your skin crawl. Have you ever had that happen to you? I did. Many times. (I still shudder at the thought…) I thought it would make a funny story.
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The Top 3 Most Important Dating Directions … Ever!
So for the film, my heroine, Clarice, has to ‘duty date’ three men at the same time. Because with one, she’s over-focused; two is an either/or; and only with three she can build her skills and keep prospective. I still coach people to date more than one person. It can be hard as hell to do. It can drive you crazy. But it does pay off.
“I Watch DUTY DATING Before Every Date” “Thank you for making DUTY DATING. I’ve learned so much by watching the film. The dialogue is perfect for how to handle difficult dating situations. I watch DUTY DATING before every date so I feel prepared and comfortable knowing what to do and say.” - Carole Ann S., Sherman Oaks, CA
“DUTY DATING Serves Me Well in My Dating Life” “DUTY DATING is enlightening, entertaining and a whole lot of fun. It gave me a new slant on relationships that has served me well in my dating life. In addition, I've known Cherry for a few years and seen how successfully she applied the principles in her own life - so she knows what she's doing. She delivers her empowering insights about relationships with lighthearted charm and effectiveness. I highly recommend The Hollywood Dating Director, Cherry Norris, and her products and services!" - Moira Shepard, Miracle Maker, Marina del Rey, CA You receive a FREE DVD of DUTY DATING, when you order The Role of a Lifetime: How to Star in Your Own Love Story Home Study Course. Go to www.datingdirector.com for more info.
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The Top 3 Most Important Dating Directions … Ever!
After making DUTY DATING, I was on a small sailing cruise in the Mediterranean with Mother researching my next screenplay which was set in Italy. And on the boat, I met a very cute French/Italian bartender named Lorenzo. And I used what I’d learned while making DUTY DATING on Lorenzo and we were married in Italy in 2002.
So This Stuff REALLY Works! I’m telling you there is no way this marriage would have happened without this work. It is THAT powerful. I have met several men in my past who could have been my husband if I’d been the right person at the right place at the right time. So you have to ask yourself. Who am I? If my soul mate walked through that door right now this minute…would I know what to do with him? WOULD I KNOW WHAT TO SAY AND HOW TO BE? Before this work, I thought I did, but…I didn’t. I had to learn. Because I kept getting in the same relationship over and over and over again. And I didn’t know what I was doing because I didn’t know that I didn’t know! You know? After I met my husband, when my friends started calling and asking me how I did it what could they do…I started coaching. Then I began directing and producing live 8-Week Dating Workshops…kinda like an actor’s studio for dating where we defined your roles, set the stage and role-played what to do in any kind of dating or relationship situation. The Hollywood Dating Director 815-301-3244 · info@datingdirector.com · www.datingdirector.com Page 7
The Top 3 Most Important Dating Directions … Ever!
My clients had incredible transformations. It was hard to recognize some of them by the end of the course.
Georgia’s story: In one of my first workshops, a woman walks in and she’s tall and she’s pretty, but she had a terrible record with men. And in the workshop, we did an exercise where we set intentions. And this woman, Georgia, says to the group that by the end of the 8-week course, she wanted to be engaged. And I’m thinking, “That’s a very tall order. Especially since Georgia’s not dating anyone.” (But she has every right to want it.) And you know what? By class two, she’d met someone and by class eight, on the very last night of the workshop, she walked in with a huge engagement ring on her hand. This is a true story. Georgia married someone else, but she did it. Yes she did. She did what she set out to do. I told you this was powerful stuff! As The Hollywood Dating Director, I‘ve combined all my directions for dating into one easy to use system. If you want to START NOW in having the Romantic Relationship You Want, go to: www.datingdirector.com and Click on The Role of a Lifetime: How to Star in Your Own Love Story Home Study Course TODAY! It’s interesting to learn about relationships. It’s fascinating to learn about who we are as women and how we operate and how we communicate. The Hollywood Dating Director 815-301-3244 · info@datingdirector.com · www.datingdirector.com Page 8
The Top 3 Most Important Dating Directions … Ever!
It’s incredible to learn about men and women and see how we work. • We’re so different…physically, mentally, emotionally. • We communicate differently. • We’re biologically and psychologically different. • Our brains are different. We interact and speak differently. Do you think this makes a difference when it comes to relationships? You bet it does! Understanding who we are as women in a relationship gives us more compassion towards men and who they are. This is a great investment in yourself. The more you know about romantic relationships, the healthier you will be. Literally. • You’re body is less likely to get sick. • Or gain weight. • Or do other bad things. When you learn how to express yourself well, men can hear you, understand you and appreciate you. This is a Healthy Investment for the Rest of Your Life! And More Good News! Your other relationships will improve! You can’t work on one area of your life without having it spill over to other areas. What you learn in romance will benefit how you communicate and interact with family, friends and business associates. So let’s get it started… I’m so excited to share with you: The Hollywood Dating Director 815-301-3244 · info@datingdirector.com · www.datingdirector.com Page 9
The Top 3 Most Important Dating Directions … Ever!
THE TOP 3 MOST IMPORTANT DATING DIRECTIONS …EVER! You have NO idea how much I wish I would have known this 20 years ago!! It would have saved me so much wasted time and agony worried about the WRONG men. (Ugh!) Lucky girl! You can learn from my blunders and create your own love story…much sooner! The First Most Important Dating Direction is to:
1. DEFINE YOUR ROLE Why do you think you’re so confused when it comes to dating and relationships? I believe it’s because you don’t know your role. You don’t know who you are in a relationship and exactly who you want to attract. (Oh I know you THINK you know who you want to attract…but you may be surprised!) When you know your role in a relationship and who it is you want to attract… • You Eliminate Confusion and • You stop going competitive with your partner When you Define Your Role: • You’ll know what’s happening • You’ll know what’s going on • You’ll know what to do when he doesn’t call • You’ll know what to say when you’re in an awkward or uncomfortable situation • You’ll know how to read the signs and know if he’s into you or not and what to do about it. The Hollywood Dating Director 815-301-3244 · info@datingdirector.com · www.datingdirector.com Page 10
The Top 3 Most Important Dating Directions … Ever!
Relationships are less complicated when you understand your role and how to play your part. You’ll stop the madness in your head!
AMY’S STORY: Let me tell you a story about one of the character’s in The Role of a Lifetime: How to Star in Your Own Love Story Home Study Series. I call her Amy Analyzer. (She’s based on a true story.) Amy is very attractive lawyer, but no man wanted a relationship with her. She couldn’t figure it out. In the workshop, we do a couple of exercises where we identify the person’s relationship role and style. In the process it was revealed that even though Amy’s very beautiful, she has a very masculine energy. Men were attracted to her physically, but she worked so hard to win their respectability they quit calling. She went competitive with them. Head to head. Do you think she wanted to do that? No. She didn’t know. Now she’s learned what works in the courtroom, doesn’t necessarily work in the bedroom. So we re-defined her role and today, she’s in a fantastic relationship with a great guy and very happy. If you like to learn more about Amy, order The Role of a Lifetime: How to Star in Your Own Love Story Home Study Course now. Go to www.datingdirector.com NOW!
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The Top 3 Most Important Dating Directions … Ever!
Truthfully, there are several roles in relationships. And it’s okay to play different parts. Just not at the same time! Sometimes you’re gonna feel like your partner’s playing all the roles and you have none. Well… When you define your role, you can fix that. You can bring the relationship back in balance. You can self adjust when you feel your relationship starting to go off course (and it will…believe me!) And you’ll know what to do, what to say and how to be to get it right back on track! The reason there’s so much divorce is people don’t know their roles and how to play their parts in relationships. They get together, then have no skills to stay together. So the result is chaos. So the first most important dating direction is Define Your Role.
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The Top 3 Most Important Dating Directions … Ever!
“I Found Her! Using Cherry’s Direction & Workshop I Landed the Woman for Me!” “The biggest benefit I received from ‘The Role of a Lifetime: How to Star in Your Own Love Story’ is the understanding of masculine and feminine energies and how they show up in relationships. This is important, for to create the relationship you want, you need to powerfully stand in the energy you choose. This takes some work…and searching. I ‘duty dated’ more than my share of women. But I had a mission, a focus and drive to find the woman who desired a masculine man. And I found her! Through Cherry’s direction and course, I landed the woman for me.! Without the skills learned from The Hollywood Dating Director, I would still be searching and wondering why there is no “chemistry.” I learned what chemistry really is and how to create it under my terms.” - Peter Catalano, Wealth Manager, Austin, TX
2. SET THE STAGE Once you’ve defined your role, it’s time to act on it so you can set the stage for exactly who and what you want to attract. You can set the stage in many ways. It’s a real advantage to consciously set your stage for what you want to receive. When you know how to set your stage, you have the POWER to Guide and Establish the EXACT Romantic Relationship you want. The Hollywood Dating Director 815-301-3244 · info@datingdirector.com · www.datingdirector.com Page 13
The Top 3 Most Important Dating Directions … Ever!
I believe women are the spiritual leaders on this planet. Men follow spiritual women. It’s up to you to lead men well. You give him great joy when you allow him to please you. When you guide a man properly, you will have him serving you like you’d never believe possible. It’s an art. It’s a skill. It takes time to develop, but the result is amazing and beautiful!
“I Now Have a Direction that Allows Me to Feel Safe …and Take Care of Myself” “Thank you so much! I found your course so helpful. I made many transformations within myself, my perception and my ability to be successful in relationships. That's no small gift or accomplishment. I now have a direction that allows me to feel safe, which I didn't have before, so now I can re-enter this arena and know how to take care of myself. I had no clue how to do it in a satisfying way…and all that was wrong was my lack of information, understanding and misperception and lack of good role models. So, thanks for providing all of that. I am seeing my apartment with new eyes and know clearly what I need to release next so I can set the stage for what I want to attract. Thanks for making this process very fun as well. I continue to apply everything I’m learning. Love, Appreciation and Blessings, Linda D., Los Angeles, CA
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The Top 3 Most Important Dating Directions … Ever!
Set the stage for what you want by how you present: On-line, in person and in your home.
Your On-Line Resume: Before every audition, an actor prepares. Before meeting with an agent or a director, he submits a headshot and resume. Before the meeting, the agent/director will determine if the actor will be called in...or end up in the trash. The same is true in dating. The headshot and resume on your dating profile make your first impression. Often it determines if someone will meet you or delete you. On-line dating resumes publicize what you want to attract, but most people don't know how to market effectively. Even if you're not auditioning on-line, a dating resume gives you a chance to uniquely define your role and what you're looking for.
A.
Have a Fantastic Headshot
Without a photo, you have the least likely chance of meeting someone. Period. Take a good professional photo and use it! It may (or may not) surprise you that a guy’s not really interested in your resume. Most men are interested in your looks…no matter what you say! Don’t argue. This is how it works. This is how nature built him. Save your “yeah butts” for something else! The Hollywood Dating Director 815-301-3244 · info@datingdirector.com · www.datingdirector.com Page 15
The Top 3 Most Important Dating Directions … Ever!
B.
Write a Brief, Creative Resume
It might be fun for you to create your own character to separate you from the masses. Use Vivid, Bold descriptions! Make every word count. Marketing “your long slender legs, milky skin, deep sea-green eyes and million-dollar smile” gets attention. Creating a character separates you from the masses!
Here’s an example from one of the Hero character bios in The Role of a Lifetime: How to Star in Your Own Love Story. “I am an intelligent, witty, information junkie who recently made an appearance on Jeopardy. I love to take risks and play the game of life. A pursuit of you however, would not be trivial…” Sound like a guy you want to meet? Great. Time to become the woman who attracts him and present it on your dating resume. For more ideas on how you can Create Your Character go to www.datingdirector.com …and order: The Role of a Lifetime: How To Star in Your Own Love Story Home Study Course today!
Your Presentation: You never know when or where you’ll meet him. So be prepared when you go out. Even if it’s to the dry-cleaners. He could be popping in there at the same time. I’ve seen it happen! Do your best to Look Good, Feel Good, Taste Good, Smell good and Sound Good (more on that part later!) wherever you are and wherever you go! The Hollywood Dating Director 815-301-3244 · info@datingdirector.com · www.datingdirector.com Page 16
The Top 3 Most Important Dating Directions … Ever!
Suffice it to say…the better you look, the more you’ll attract. • How you feel determines who responds. • How you taste and smell will keep him wanting more (or not.) • Put your best foot forward. You have but one time to make a first impression. Make it count! • And remember to SMILE!
“I’ve saved so much Time, Money and Frustration!” “The ideas I’ve implemented from ‘The Role of a Lifetime: How to Star in Your Own Love Story’ have helped me go from ‘average’ to someone who continually gets compliments. I’m amazed at how much attention I receive. This morning I received compliments from two different gentlemen before I finished my first cup of coffee! I’ve saved so much money, time, and frustration by taking your advice. More importantly, I am much more confident in how I present. Thanks for everything!” LeeAnn Webster, Chicago, Ill.
Your Home: Does your home and environment set the stage for who you want to attract? Is there space for another person? Does it attract the love of your life? If your ideal man walked through your door this very minute, would he fit?
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The Top 3 Most Important Dating Directions … Ever!
Ellie’s Story: Inspired by the course, Ellie decided to re-arrange her home to attract the love of her life. As she was moving things around, Ellie asked herself, “where’s he gonna put his briefcase? Where’s he gonna sleep? Where’s he gonna put his shaving things?” Ellie cleaned files and deleted old business. She updated her photographs and removed items from her ex. She left room in her closet to add a new man. What wasn’t beautiful, useful or meaningful, she gave away or threw away. She replaced her “single girl” art. She added a new bedspread and two bedside tables. And after a few passes, but not only did Ellie de-clutter her home, she created space for a real man. Do you have a bunch of stuff that's getting in the way of your having a relationship? When you move things around...furniture, your body...and your dialogue and behavior...you stand to create different results in your life than if you continue to do the same thing over and over. For more tips on Setting Your Stage to attract what you want to to: www.datingdirector.com and order The Role of a Lifetime: How To Star in Your Own Love Story Home Study Course today!
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The Top 3 Most Important Dating Directions … Ever!
So the second most important dating direction is to Set the Stage: On-line, in-person and in your home for the romantic relationship you want to attract. And finally…
3. SPEAK YOUR PART Everywhere you go . . . On-line and In-person. Whenever you meet someone…you create your style of relationship in the first 30 seconds. How you speak, how you communicate determines your style of relationship in less than a minute. It’s either a friendship, a business deal or a date. It’s important to know how to speak your part so you don’t turn a date you like into a business deal. Or just as important…you know how to turn a business deal into a date! Let me tell you a real funny story about another character in The Role of a Lifetime: How to Star in Your Own Love Story. She’s called Debbie Denial. Read Debbie’s story below . . .
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The Top 3 Most Important Dating Directions … Ever!
Debbie’s Story: Debbie is a sassy little brunette with a “if you see it and like it, go get it” attitude. And at the coffee shop, saw him, liked him and went for it. Debbie swished up to the man of her attentions and with confidence said, “I don’t know if you’re married or not, but I’m very attracted.” He winked. She smiled. And they started seeing each other. And sure enough, after two short sexy months, she discovered he’s married. She didn’t know. He hadn’t said a word. When Debbie questioned him he said, “when we first met and you said ‘I don’t care if you’re married or not’….I assumed you meant it.” Imagine how Debbie felt. How foolish! She didn’t know how to speak her part. She didn’t know how to get what she wanted. And she suffered for it. You don’t have to suffer unnecessarily in relationships. If you’re ready to ditch the drama in your relationships, go to: www.datingdirector.com and order your copy of The Role of a Lifetime: How to Star in Your Own Love Story NOW!
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The Top 3 Most Important Dating Directions … Ever!
The Role of a Lifetime: How to Star in Your Own Love Story Home Study Series. It’s a full system to help you set up the Romantic Relationship you want to create. It gives you choices and tells you exactly what to do and say to get what you want. Not everybody is the same. Not everybody wants the same style of relationship. The Role of a Lifetime: How to Star in Your Own Love Story gives you choices of what you want to create that works best for you. 9 It starts before meeting the person and takes you all the way up through sex and commitment. 9 It’s a hands on, interactive system with exercises and role play. It’s like I’m in the room with you personally coaching you.
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The Top 3 Most Important Dating Directions … Ever!
9 The Role of a Lifetime: How to Star in Your Own Love Story lets you critique your past relationships so you’ll never make the same mistakes again. And it sets you up for the long-term romantic relationship you want. You’ll learn: 9 How to Communicate with men so they can hear you and not get frustrated. 9
How to Stop obsessing about men and what they’re doing
9 How to feel better and have more fun and confidence when going out and meeting new people. 9 How to flirt to attract the one you really want (and not the nerd next to him) 9
What to Do and Say in ANY dating situation.
For example, you’ve gone out with a guy a couple of times and he’s feeling the mojo, but you’re not. He keeps asking you out and you don’t want to be rude, but what do you say? Or you’ve met someone you really like and you’re ready to have sex, but how do you know it’s safe? 9 You’ll receive 8 Audio CD’s and a 96-page workbook. You can listen as often as you want…wherever you want…in your car, at home or at the gym. 9
And so much more!
9 PLUS…you get a FREE DVD of DUTY DATING, the hilarious romantic comedy about a woman, who on the advice of a love doctor, does all the right things to marry the wrong man! Watch how Clarice, a successful magazine stylist goes from being unsuccessful in love to being besieged by men!
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The Top 3 Most Important Dating Directions … Ever!
Learn what to do immediately in your own dating life! 9 And you’ll receive a BONUS CD, “The Relationship of a Lifetime” which teaches you: •
3 Acts of every romantic relationship before marriage
•
2 BIGGEST Power Plays in every relationship and how to deal with them
•
The Big Secret about commitment (HINT: It has nothing to do with the man!)
•
How to know when your relationship is REALLY over and what to do about it
And you have my personal guarantee: If you don’t like it, you don’t pay for it! Yes, really.
So what are you waiting for? Let’s get you started (uh huh!) on creating the romantic relationship you want today! Go to www.datingdirector.com And Click on The Role of a Lifetime: How to Star in Your Own Love Story NOW!
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