5 minute read
How motherhood impacts your marriage
By Nadia Patel
When I had my daughter three years ago, I realised there was so much information and advice on what to expect during pregnancy and becoming a mother. However, what no one ever talks about is the impact that motherhood can have on your marriage. In fact, in many cases, even you and your spouse won’t talk about it. Some things are just so overwhelming and confusing, you can’t put them into words.
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Moving from being a couple to a family of three is exciting, exhilarating and wonderful. It’s also exhausting, exasperating, and worrisome. Studies show that almost twothirds of new parents have concerns about their relationship that did not exist before having children.
Having a good relationship with your spouse post-baby can be really challenging. When many couples become parents they may become more distant and their relationship more ‘business-like.’ Time to relax together is replaced by endless to-do lists. You are both constantly ‘on duty’. Domestic duties double and so does the bickering. Sleep can be scarce and there is little time and energy for intimacy. Everything can get heightened with no time and energy to resolve. However, satisfaction with your spouse is one of the biggest predictors of overall life satisfaction so all the time and effort that you spend investing in your marriage is well worth it. Children are great imitators of behaviour, and if they see you sharing a strong loving relationship they are more likely to get on with their siblings, friends and develop strong relationships in the future themselves.
Here are a few simple things that I found made a big difference for me. Be direct
Ask your partner what you need from him. As women, we often believe that if we state what needs to be taken care of, a man will automatically volunteer to do it. Men respond better to direct requests.
Say, Thank You
When your partner does what you want, thank them. You may not think that this is fair (especially if you don’t feel appreciated) but this makes them more receptive to further requests and niceties breed a good atmosphere. By appreciating someone you teach them the art of appreciation.
Make a date with yourself
Schedule some time out for yourself, in the same way that you do for your children’s activities. Use this time to either do things on your own that make you happy or with friends that keep you connected to who you were before you had children. Bringing a happier, more fulfilled person into your marriage makes for a happier marriage.
Enjoy time together
Set aside at least some chunk of time each day to be alone together, even if it’s a tired twenty minutes after the kids are in bed, refresh your connection with each other. Open up, talk and laugh. A good relationship can only be sustained if you share your feelings, fears, and needs.
I believe that there is a misconception that good marriages just happen. If you marry someone you love and get on with, you can have a good marriage. However, really good marriages take time, effort, and commitment. When positive energies radiate from spouse to spouse, the whole family benefits.
Water Dos and Don’ts
By Registered Nutritional Therapist Sophie Trotman DipION mBANT CNHC
Every single cellular reaction in the body takes place in water. Signs of dehydration include fatigue, constipation, dry skin, headaches and even kidney stones.
However, despite the well-known benefits of adequate hydration, water often falls to the bottom of our priority list. In the clinic, when I conduct food diary analysis, I often observe suboptimal water intake. Read on for some tips on how to stay hydrated and healthy.
Dos
Drink two litres of water or more a day
General guidance is to drink at least two litres of water a day. You may need to drink more if you do regular exercise, if the central heating is cranked up or if it’s a summer’s day. Body composition may also increase your water requirement.
Include herbal teas
Non-caffeinated herbal teas contribute to your water count. Buy a range of herbal teas to add variety to your hydration efforts. Herbal teas also have the added benefit of being a source of antioxidants. Furthermore, many herbal teas offer a myriad of benefits for digestion, sleep, and relaxation.
Loose-leaf herbal tea is a ritual and a treat. However, for a quick herbal tea on a weekday, I love the organic Pukka Tea range. The Three Mint tea and Lemon, Ginger and Manuka Honey tea are my everyday favourites.
I often recommend their Peppermint & Licorice tea to clients who like to eat something sweet after dinner as it is deliciously sweet and can often satisfy that craving.
Use large glasses
If you use large glasses for water, you will be more likely to drink more throughout the day. This sounds ridiculously simple, but it helps! If you use small glasses, you will end up drinking much less. Try it and see for yourself.
Opt for high water content vegetables
Tomatoes, celery, peppers, asparagus, mushrooms, spinach and broccoli all contain more than 90% water-by-weight. Include a variety of these vegetables in your diet and reap the benefits of hydration.
Don’ts
Drink coffee or English breakfast tea first thing
Upon waking, our bodies are already in a state of mild dehydration. Coffee and caffeinated tea further dehydrate the body. Always have a glass of water before drinking your first coffee or tea of the day. I like to keep a large glass of water on my bedside table and drink it before getting out of bed. This makes it easy and sets me up for success in the day.
Don’t buy plastic-bottled water
The reason for this is two-fold. Firstly, plastic leaches chemicals into the water. These chemicals end up in our bodies. For women, this is particularly bad news as these chemicals can mimic oestrogen. We want to avoid oestrogen build-up in the body, as this can contribute to painful periods, mood concerns and even some oestrogen-related cancers. Secondly, we all know that plastic bottles are awful for the environment. There is no excuse to still be purchasing plasticbottled water in 2022. Use a water filter, of which you can buy many.
Use squash to flavour water
Most squash contains large amounts of added sugar. Excess sugar can cause inflammation in the body, negatively impact gut health, cause weight gain, low energy and anxiety. In addition, many squash products contain artificial sweeteners. We should also avoid these as they pose a variety of concerns including inflammation in the gut and exacerbation of sugary cravings.
Use fruit and herbs to naturally flavour water. I like to add a squeeze and a couple of slices of orange with some sprigs of thyme. Delicious!
