Cherwell Vol.273 No.4

Friday 31st October 2014

www.cherwell.org

Inside: + C investigates bike theft in Oxford

Channel 4’s Nick Mirsky on TV and Benefits controversy

George Monbiot on politics and the environment

Cherwell Independent since 1920

“Unjustified and illegal”: Bouncers accused of assault

3rd Week Vol. 273, No.4

OUSU Welfare VP Chris Pike suspended Cherwell News Team

Police called after students claim multiple iccidents of physical and verbal abuse at Park End Tom Calver News Editor BOUNCERS AT LAVA&IGNITE nightclub have been accused of physical and verbal aggression by a number of students, with one accusing the club’s door team of homophobia.

Students have also been critical of the responses of police, who are said to have told one alleged victim, “Come back when you’re not drunk.”

The allegations sent to Cherwell relate to a number of incidents at the club, colloquially known as ‘Park End’, that have occurred over the past year.

The first statement came from a former Jesus student who graduated this year, relating to an incident which occurred on 11th June. He told Cherwell that, at the end of the night, as the bouncers were clearing the top floor, “One requested that I move towards the exit. I responded that there was a bottleneck at the doors and I preferred to wait as the crowd dispersed.

“At this point one of the bouncers grabbed my arm and I asked him to let go. This was the only motivation needed for three bouncers to violently drag me to a separate empty stairwell. There I was held by three bouncers as a fourth punched me in the stomach and legs and a fifth shouted continuous abuse.

“At one point it seemed that I could

“

One of the bouncers proceeded to kick me and call me a ‘faggot’, whilst trying to rip my phone out of my hands leave as three bouncers started to deal with a separate issue — though as I moved towards the exit, I was once again violently manhandled and put in a chokehold. After this I was forcibly carried down the stairs, where I saw another student being

led by his neck by three other bouncers, having just undergone similar violent treatment. I was left with heavy bruises and cuts on my upper arms, bruises on my neck and deep cuts on one wrist. At no point was I provocative or violent.”

The Jesus graduate seems not to be alone in being dragged to an empty stairwell. An anonymous Brookes student informed Cherwell that he was taken to a “staff staircase” on a Monday night last year, having paid for entry. The student described how, “Before we knew it one of my friends was being kicked out — the bouncer doing so was abusing his power of authority, and quite aggressively so by shoving him out onto the staff staircase which is in-between the bar and RnB room.

“After he was shoved out onto the staff staircase, we decided to question the bouncer as to why he had been chucked out, and as a result were forced out onto the staff staircase too. Whilst on the staircase, we suddenly became outnumbered by bouncers by three to one.

“Within the next ten minutes of trying to reason with them, we were all dragged down three or four floors on our front or backs whilst in headlocks, causing painful bruising.

At the bottom of the staircase one of the bouncers proceeded to kick me and call me a ‘faggot’, whilst trying to rip my phone out of my hands as I had tried to record some of the incident.”

His phone was then damaged by bouncers, to the extent that he was unable to retrieve the footage.

Frankie Nicholls, an englishist at Exeter, meanwhile, claims she was the victim of physical and verbal abuse on two separate occasions, a year apart. Stating that she had been “drunk” on the first occasion, she explained, “[a friend] and I were pushing each other around in a frivolous way, and two bouncers appeared out of nowhere.

“They both grabbed my arms and picked me up, the force of which left me with two green bruises on my upper arm. continued, p. 3

OUSU’S VICE PRESIDENT for Welfare and Equal Opportunities, Chris Pike, has been indefinitely suspended from his role following an anonymous complaint against him.

Speaking to OUSU Council, President Louis Trup commented that when the complaint is made public “It will be anonymised as much as possible so as to protect the identities and the welfare of those involved.”

Responding to a question about the length of the suspension he said “The time frame is undefined, it is up to the complaints committee to opt to scope out the time of their investigation and so that is not something we are involved in.”

In an email sent round to all college welfare reps, VP for women Anna Bradshaw and Trup wrote, “We appreciate that this may come as a bit of a shock... In light of Chris’s suspension, we are going to do our best as a sabbatical team and as an organisation to cover his areas of work.”

Why OUSU elections matter Jack Matthews worries about the consequences of electoral apathy towards our Student Union

Comment, page 8 The nature of human vices: Sin City Fergus Morgan discusses the enduring appeal of Frank Miller’s iconic graphic novels

Culture, page 24 Attenborough’s breathtaking Life Story Emma Simpson sings the praises of the acclaimed broadcaster’s latest nature documentary

Film & TV, page 27

Cherwell | 31.10.14

2 | News

Israeli Ambassador faces protest at the Union

Approximately 100 students demonstrate in support of the pro-Palestinian cause Lucy Valsamidis, Jack Doyle News Reporters

A PROTEST was held on Tuesday outside the Oxford Union after the revelation that the speaker for the evening would be the Israeli Ambassador, Daniel Taub.

Until recently the event was officially shrouded in secrecy, with the Union’s termcard announcing only that a “high profile speaker on the conflict in Gaza as well as other issues in the Middle East” was to attend, claiming that the secrecy was due to “security restrictions”.

It is thought that around 100 people attended a protest organized outside the Union on the same day as the talk. Activists said in a statement, “Just a few months ago, Israel pounded Gaza with the most modern military hardware in the world. Their bombardment of a besieged civilian population with nowhere to escape killed 2,200 Palestinians, including 490 children […] The protest welcomes all those who stand in solidarity with the besieged and occupied Palestinian people.”

Some students condemned the decision to

“

Israel’s representative in Britain is on a propaganda offensive invite Taub. Wadhamite and member of the Oxford Students’ Palestine Society Barnaby Raine commented, “After Israel killed 490 children in Gaza just a few months ago, its representative in Britain is on a propaganda offensive; fresh from addressing the Cambridge Union, he is coming to the Oxford Union.

“The servant of such a state should not be given the respect and honour of this prestigious platform — just think how Palestinian students in Oxford feel when the state that bulldozes

their homes and destroys their infrastructure turns up on their campus too. We will be protesting outside the Oxford Union to send the message that we reject as unacceptable the violence Daniel Taub represents.”

Meanwhile, Wadham student Aliya Yule who attended the protests commented, “I was at the protest to show that Oxford will not welcome those complicit in war crimes, nor will we allow the Union to legitimise Israel’s occupation of Palestine under the guise of ‘free speech’.”

However former President of the now disbanded Oxford Israel Society Richard Black told Cherwell, “I am appalled at these protests.

Ambassador Taub is a very respected and prestigious speaker who has come to the Union, a bastion of free speech. Many open minded people are keen to hear what he has to say.”

The Oxford Union commented in a statement issued before the event, “The Union has invited him to speak, and he will speak. The Union doesn’t endorse anyone — we invite people who have something interesting to say.

One Brasenose finalist and pro-Israel advocate agreed, remarking, “The Oxford student community is very lucky to have the opportunity to host such an eloquent and renowned diplomat. It’s a shame that the protesters would rather scream in the cold than listen to what Ambassador Taub has to say. This irrational antagonism betrays a somewhat close-minded unwillingness to engage in constructive dialogue with anyone who has a different opinion.”

“The purpose of The Union is to allow freedom of speech. This is a man who speaks almost every night of the year, and we think that our members are looking forward to meeting him in person.”

Others defended the Union’s decision to give Taub the opportunity to speak without taking a stance on the conflict. Matt Rose, President

of the Oxford Jewish Society, said, “Whilst Jsoc is an apolitical society and thus has no official view on Israeli policy, we encourage debate and hope for a peaceful resolution to the conflict.

We encourage those that disagree with him to go and debate with him in a constructive manner.”

However protesters responded, “The official Israeli positions are not under threat of being not heard, but the voices of their Palestinian victims are, and we hope to amplify them.”

This is not the first time that there has been controversy over Israel in Oxford. This summer a ‘Free Palestine’ march attracted around 200 people. A memorial vigil later followed in support of Hassan Al Hallaq, an ex-Brookes student whose family died in an Israeli air strike in July.

Taub has served as the Israeli Ambassador to the UK since 2011. Prior to holding this position, he was heavily involved in the Israel-Palestine peace process as Principal Deputy Legal Advisor of Israel’s Ministry of Foreign Affairs, acting as legal advisor to Israel’s missions to the UN. His visit to Oxford follows a talk at the Cambridge Union last week, during which there was also a protest organized by students.

Speaking to Cherwell, Ambassador Taub commented, “I think it is incredibly sad that in a university which should thrive on the exchange of ideas, we have a group of people who are saying ‘we’re not interested in ideas and, in fact we are trying to shut them down channels of communication’.

“In the Middle East, we have a surfeit of negative energy, I hope that from a university like Oxford, we can actually model constructive dialogue and send some positive energy to the region.”

This week News in Brief APPLICATIONS TO OXFORD have seen a significant rise since last year according to new data, with 18,325 applicants competing for 3,100 places. This represents a five percent increase in applications compared to 2013.

Meanwhile, the University of Cambridge has reported that they have not seen any similar increase this year; it is thought that increasingly stringent A level results requirements may be behind this. The full story is available at Cherwell.org ‘THE BIG SLEEPOUT,’ a student-run event to raise awareness of homlessness, is set to take place this Saturday night in New College quad. After a talk from Oxford Homeless Pathways participating students will be given sandwiches and hot drinks to help them last through the night. Cherwell’s broadcast of the event will be available online on our website soon after its conclusion.

NICK CLEGG has claimed that Oxbridge graduates face ‘prejudice’ when applying for public sector jobs. However Jonathan Black, Director of the Careers Service said there is “no direct experience or evidence” of Oxford graduates facing discrimination, giving the examples of employers such as TeachFirst.

EXETER’S CATERING CARTOON was discovered, complete with ripped mount and creases, underneath a box of condoms. The cartoon was created as part of last Hilary’s Hall boycott, during which students managed to succesfully persuade the College to get rid of a fixed £840 catering charge, and was afterwards purchased for the College using money from the JCR budget.

CORRECTION: Last week, our article on transport proposals wrongly described Ian Hudspeth as leader of Oxford City Council; he in fact leads Oxfordshire County Council.

News | 3

31.10.14 | Cherwell

Allegations of racism levelled at Christ Church Porters’ Lodge Christ Church Rhodes Scholar felt singled out by the discriminatory conduct of some of the porters at the college Daniel Ward News Reporter

CHRIST CHURCH PORTERS have been accused of racially discriminatory conduct towards students at Oxford University. The reported behaviour by a number of porters has led one member of the College to complain that they have been “seemingly outright racist”.

In one incident after matriculation on October 18th, a porter asked a group of black students attempting to enter the college whether they were “construction workers”.

The students were allowed to enter only after one of them, Field Brown, an African American native of Mississippi and Rhodes Scholar at the college, showed his bod card.

Paul Amayo, a Kenyan Rhodes Scholar completing a DPhil in Engineering at Linacre, was another of the students involved. He told Cherwell, “I thought it was quite rude and disrespectful not only to assume but to ask us (who were invited guests to the college) that, specifically as Field had been in Christ Church for over two weeks at that moment and regularly went in and out for meals there.

“Even if he was not remembered, the comment about working there was completely un-

“

It was humiliating to feel like we didn’t belong here necessary and only happened because all three of us were black, the people who went before us were not asked any such questions.”

Brown, meanwhile, remarked, “Although there was no malicious intent in the porter’s question, it felt like I had not left Mississippi.

“I cannot escape the skin I’m in. Even in Oxford, a lot of people are still just going to see you as black.”

In the early evening on the same date, Brown took four other guests, three of them of Hispanic appearance, to visit Christ Church’s fabled Tom Quad and take pictures at Mercury Fountain. Before long, a porter asked to see the students’ bod cards. Mr Brown obliged and explained that the others were his guests.

However in a tone that Mr Brown described as “firm and intimidating”, the porter insisted the guests leave, as “visiting hours are over”.

Though Mr Brown had intended to take his guests to the College bar or buttery, the porter maintained that “you have to be a student of Christ Church” to remain in the College.

The College’s Regulations (known as the “Blue Book”) do not prohibit members from bringing their guests into the College. On the contrary, “members of the House and their bona fide guests” are explicitly permitted in the Undercroft Bar and Buttery.

Against the backdrop of “numerous occasions” upon which College porters have asked Mr Brown, but not his white colleagues, to show identification, the Rhodes scholar described the experience as “dehumanising”.

Referring to tough Arizona laws requiring immigrants in the US state to carry their registration papers at all times, Brown said, “ I gained an insight into how Hispanic people in Arizona feel about those laws.”

Alex Diaz, a Latino American Rhodes scholar at New College, who was one of Field Brown’s guests, was circumspect. He commented, “I do not know what was behind the porter’s request for us to leave Christ Church. It very well could have been race, or it could have been a whole host of other reasons.

“With that said, I studied unconscious prejudice during undergrad, and can easily see how implicit bias may have coloured his decision to target us and ask us to leave.”

He added, “Being a Latino in the United States, I know firsthand the feeling of aliena-

Park End responds to bouncer claims Club “fully investigates” complaints and claims door teams are “fully certified” continued from front page “They then pushed me through the fire exit where there is a lengthy story of stairs. They proceeded to call me a ‘fucking bitch’, and pulled me with such strength that my feet were no longer touching the ground.

“Whilst outside I cried and pleaded that they’d let me in. Instead, these bouncers started mocking me, putting their middle fingers up at me. I was so angry that I called the police.”

The police met her at her college the next day where she gave a statement, before being told a week later that the two bouncers involved were going to be part of a re-training week.

However, she told Cherwell, “These same bouncers still work there. So that doesn’t actually fill me with any joy. They should have been fired after treating me in such a physically abusive way.”

After waiting a year, Nicholls returned to the club, only to find herself again a victim of further verbal and physical aggression. After “trying to slyly sneak pass the bouncer to get into the queue”, she says a bouncer told her, “‘fuck off you little twat, get back into the queue before I kick you out of here.’”

After eventually entering, she told Cherwell, “The same bouncer saw me in the smoking area, walked over to me, and pushed me. I started screaming ‘What are you doing?’ but he kept pushing me and gritting his teeth, saying, ‘Get the fuck out of here’.

“I felt humiliated, irritated and, to be honest, abused. He came into my face and snarled at me, as if I was some sort of prey. I proceeded to get the police’s attention, and they ignored me, saying ‘come back when you’re not drunk’.”

Second year Naomi Polonsky meanwhile was the victim of a violent threat from a staff member. After trying to explain why she didn’t have her drivers’ license, the bouncer told her to “shut up” and shoved her. She explained, “My friend asked the bouncer not to be so aggressive at which point the bouncer grabbed my friend by the wrist and said, ‘I can be a lot more

aggressive round the corner if you want me to be’. Frankly, this kind of behaviour was completely unnecessary — I was only at Park End to carry out my role as an Entz Rep.” After Cherwell presented the abuse claims to the club, a spokesperson replied, “The safety of our customers is always our main priority and we take complaints of this nature very seriously. Our door teams are fully certified and trained and any complaints are fully investigated. Anyone with concerns should contact customerservice@luminar.co.uk.”

When queried about whether they would be changing their training policies, the club told Cherwell, “We don’t directly employ our door staff but use accredited agencies. All the door staff are Security Industry Authority registered with up to date licenses (which is compulsory in the industry now). They have to go through specialist training in order to receive (and maintain) their licenses.”

Reflecting on his encounter, the original Jesus complainant explained, “These incidents have to be reported. The police told me that the only way this will change is if they get a picture of bouncers’ attitudes from a strong base of reports. Individual cases in themselves aren’t that strong because they’re difficult to prove, so they’re not reported as crimes, but a whole host of student reports has more weight.

“This is a widespread thing which doesn’t get nearly enough attention.”

Thames Valley Police did not respond to our request for comment.

tion and have been on the receiving end of demeaning comments such as ‘are you even a citizen’ and much worse. The incident at Christ Church pales in comparison to what I (and am sure Field) have been through, but it was still humiliating to feel as if we didn’t belong at this university.”

Three days later, Mr Brown brought two guests to visit his College. Both were white women on vacation from the United States.

Neither visitor had ever previously been to Oxford. Though the women were allowed entry, the Christ Church scholar himself was again asked to show his Bod card. It was “confirmation”, said Brown, “that something’s wrong.”

Rhiana Gunn-Wright and Ayo Odutayo, coconvenors of the Black Rhodes Scholars Association, remarked, “While we were not with Field during the events specified, we share his hurt and outrage.”

They added, “No student at Oxford should be treated differently based on their race and ethnicity or any other aspect of their identity.”

Responding to allegations of discriminatory behaviour, the Very Revd. Prof. Martyn Percy, Dean of Christ Church, commented, “We are sorry that some members of the University ap-

pear to have felt it inappropriate to be asked to show their University cards. At the beginning of any academic year, it is normal practice for our Custodians and Porters to ask to see proof of identity on a regular basis for the first month or so.

“This is an especially busy time for tourism, and there are still large numbers of visitors walking around. As a newcomer to Christ Church myself, I have also been asked to show my ID on entry on several occasions, and I applaud the thorough and professional approach taken by our porters and custodians.

“Our staff are drawn from a very wide range of ethnic backgrounds. They do a superb job in welcoming students, visitors, tourists and worshippers from all over the world.”

Mary Eaton, Registrar at Rhodes House, stated, “The Rhodes Trust abhors racism in all its forms. We have spoken to Field and understand his concerns about these incidents. We urge all parties to come together to seek resolution.”

Brown was also conciliatory. He stressed that he did not wish to “demonise” his College, commenting, “I have enjoyed 98 per cent of my time there and have never had a problem with any of the students.”

Cherwell | 31.10.14

4 | News

Male Oxford students flock to A&E Students praise JR staff after a report reveals high student attendance

Jonathon Turnbull News Reporter

A REPORT COMMISSIONED by the independent watchdog Healthwatch Oxford, and carried out by Oxford University students, has revealed that more than 20% of male students use the accident and emergency department at the John Radcliffe hospital during their time at Oxford.

A&E attendance in Oxford for the general population is usually between 9-18%, according to the Health and Social Care Information Centre, suggesting Oxford students are more prone to serious accidents or injuries.

The OUSU welfare team told Cherwell that they have been “working with Healthwatch and with the students who compiled this report to consider how best the overuse of A&E can be combatted”. A spokesperson explained, “The key task is to ensure that students know which of the many services they should use in which situation: should it be 999, A&E, the minor injuries unit, the GP, the non-emergency phone number 111, or just self-care.

“Equally important is that, when a student doesn’t need to go to A&E, but they are in a lot of pain, they are able to access interim support, for example by getting advice from a pharmacy or from 111.”

Responding to the report, a Jesus fresher wasn’t surprised by the findings. They commented, “I saw someone knocked over right outside of college on Tuesday, luckily the emergency services were able to provide assistance.”

Meanwhile, a third year Mathematician explained that, after breaking his leg during a college rugby match, his treatment at A&E had been exemplary. He told Cherwell, “The doctors and nurses were very helpful and friendly.” The student in question, whose situation was complicated due to being an international student added, “In Spain there is also ‘free

medical care’, but you would never receive any medical attention until you could prove you were a resident. In Oxford, I got transported to the hospital, they gave me an X-ray, bandaged my leg up, and after everything was done they asked for my name even though I didn’t have my ID on me. I’m very impressed with the hospital service here — my only criticism is that the queues in the JR are quite long, but you can expect that from a free healthcare service!”

Another student praised the treatment he was given after splitting his forehead open in an alcohol related injury, explaining, “They didn’t treat me like a drunken fresher.”

In order to combat high A&E attendance, an OUSU spokesperson explained, “Communication is the key to ensuring A&E isn’t used when it shouldn’t be.”

The report also highlighted concerns over mental health services in Oxford, with fear of stigmatisation being a main concern for those considering discussing mental health. A campaigns officer at student-led charity Student Minds said, “There are many outlets for students to discuss mental health here in Oxford.

Student Minds is just one of them that seeks to raise awareness of mental health, as well as providing support to those in need.”

The John Radcliffe Hospital declined to comment on the Healthwatch report.

Somervillian set for divine visit after human trafficking work

Olivia Conroy to meet Pope as part of ‘Young people against prostitution and human trafficking’ symposium Thea Slotover News Reporter

SOMERVILLE STUDENT Olivia Conroy has been nominated to take part in a symposium entitled ‘Young people against prostitution and human trafficking’, after her research into mapping human trafficking. The symposium will take place in the Vatican on 14th November, and she is also due to meet the Pope.

Conroy spent a week working for organization RENATE, the ‘Religious in Europe Networking Against Trafficking and Exploitation’ in Albania, during which she interviewed charity and social workers, police and government officials, members of RENATE and those at risk in the community on the topic of trafficking.

She spoke to Cherwell about the situation she found in Albania, commenting, “Human trafficking boomed in the 1990s when communism collapsed and many Albanians fled the country with their newly granted freedom to travel. Thousands of girls were taken in speedboats into Italy alone. This situation became so bad that there is now actually a law that bans anyone from using a speedboat.

“More recently, human trafficking from Albania is orientated towards other Western countries, with girls being taken out of Albania and into the UK, Germany and Switzerland. There is also a growing problem of people

being internally trafficked, most commonly affecting children who are being taken to beg on the streets or work for gangs. Since this year Albania has been classed as both a destination country for traffickers as well as being a transit country from Eastern countries into the West.”

Conroy, a third-year biochemist, explained that before her trip she was “naïve” to the scale and complexity of human trafficking. She said, “Human trafficking is an incredibly complicated issue… It is impossible to come up with one solution. Although [the experience] gave me hope to see inspiring people working against such a formidable challenge, it also filled me with grief to get a glimpse of the scale of human trafficking and understand how embedded it is in all our lives. There is the misconception that trafficking only affects women from foreign countries forced into sex work.”

In admitting to having been unaware of the dangers posed by her trip, Conroy explained, “I was in quite a dangerous situation, apparently the traffickers would have been well aware of who I was and why I was there.

“There was a time when I was staying in Shkodër on my own in a vacant hotel, in one of the most dangerous towns in Albania run by gangs... I blazed into Albania thinking that I would be completely safe, but in reality it slowly crept in that I was dealing with incredibly dangerous people.”

Olivia added, “Trafficking is everywhere,” saying, “The UK is

the most common destination of women taken from Albania… These traffickers are operating

“

I was in quite a dangerous situation, the traffickers would have been well aware who I was and why I was there on our streets... We as a community can look out for the signs of trafficking and not make it so easy for them.”

The UK’s National Crime Agency has recently reported that the country saw a 22% rise in the number of ‘potential victims of trafficking for exploitation’ in 2013 compared to 2012, affecting a total of almost 3,000 people, of which 600 were children.

Oxford is not immune to trafficking as in 2013 seven men were

convicted of raping and trafficking six girls aged between 11 and 15, though since then a further 50 to 60 young women have since been identified as potential victims of the paedophile ring. The ring is thought to have been based around Cowley Road.

One student organization in Oxford campaigning against trafficking is Just Love. Hannah Coates, the organizer of the Just Love campaign’s recent anti-slavery protests in Oxford, commented, “The more people that know about trafficking, the better equipped we will be to protect victims and combat it.”

Earlier this month the campaign marked the National Anti-Slavery Day with a large flashmob march from Broad Street and Cornmarket, with the participants all wearing black tshirts and duct tape handcuffs. The flashmob walked in silence to the beat of a drum in order to raise awareness of the issue.

Just Love also cooperates with the Oxford Community Against Trafficking (OXCAT), a local community group founded in the wake of the Oxford ring being discovered.

Olivia plans to continue her work drawing awareness to Human Trafficking following her Vatican address. She explained that she will become part of the Global Freedom Network, an organisation of leaders from different faiths working to tackle slavery and human trafficking and will thus “be engaged in strategies and initiatives to prevent youth from becoming victims of modern slavery and human trafficking”.

31.10.14 | Cherwell

News | 5

OUSU joins the march to adopt Free Education policy

OUSU Council votes to adopt Free Education, following JCRs mandates and much debate Robert Walmsley Deputy Editor

OUSU COUNCIL HAS VOTED to make Free Education part of OUSU’s policy on education funding, as well as to support the NUS’ campaign against fees and debt.

The motion, proposed by OUSU Disabled Students Officer James Elliott and seconded

by OUSU Access and Admissions Officer Annie Teriba, passed on Wednesday night, with 46 in favour, 17 against and seven abstentions.

The vote comes with just 20 days to go until

“

Free Education is now OUSU’s stance and all our elected officers are bound to it a national demonstration for Free Education planned for 19 November, in London. The demonstration organised by The National Campaign Against Fees and Cuts, The Young Greens and The Student Assembly Against Austerity, and backed by the National Executive Committee of the NUS, is intended to mark an “escalation” in opposition to tuition fees, The passing of the motion follows intense debate in JCRs on the issue over the weekend, with Trinity JCR mandating their representatives to vote for the motion by a single vote, after a vote of 19 in favour and 18 against, with two abstentions at their JCR meeting on Sunday. A subsequent motion to donate £50 to

The week in figures

£3 Price of a cream tea at Oriel’s ‘The Scones Say Sorry’ event

20% Percentage of male Oxford students who have been to A&E

188

Number of people who clicked ‘attending’ to the Facebook event ‘Oxford Protests the Israeli Ambassador’

subsidise travel to the protest failed after it did not acquire the two-thirds majority needed to pass, as required for financial motions in the Trinity JCR constitution.

However, the motion proved less controversial in other JCRs. Oriel JCR voted 33 to 10, with seven abstentions, in favour of supporting the Free Education motion, as did St Anne’s JCR by 30 votes to six, with 15 abstentions. The motions put forth in both JCRs, however, did not involve the donation of any funds to subsidise transportation to the demonstration.

Meanwhile, St John’s JCR voted against supporting the Free Education demonstration, but still decided to donate £75 towards transport to the demonstration.

The motion was opposed by OUSU Vice-President for Academic Affairs James Blythe. In a recent article for Cherwell, Blythe argued, “Tying OUSU to fighting for free higher education, is a policy that is, in my view, utterly unfeasible in the financial situation in which the UK currently finds itself and for the foreseeable future would leave student representatives unable to fight for real spending and tangible changes that could make an actual difference to students.”

He continued, “If we focus on free education, a battle the student movement, if we’re honest, lost 16 years ago, we will, in my view, look fiscally reckless and unaware of the political reality.”

OUSU Council had previously decided in its 1st Week meeting to provide £200 in funding for transportation to the demonstration, but decided to delay voting on whether to adopt Free Education as a policy, in order to give JCRs the opportunity to consult their members.

The motion claims not to affect the negotiating stance of OUSU’ executive in deliberations with the University on funding, bursaries or grants, but instead reflects OUSU’s intervention in ‘national policy-making’.

During the debate, the motion was ammended to remove any references to “German” or “Germany”, following a request by representatives from St Catherine’s JCR. Meanwhile, another proposed amendment calling for the motion to be changed from Free Education as a policy to “Free Education campaigns” was rejected with four votes in favour, six abstentions and 60 against, following claims that the amendment was contrary to the spirit of the motion.

OUSU President Louis Trup remarked, “Everyone at OUSU was really happy to see common rooms and OUSU Council engaged in a crucial debate that affects us all. Free education is now

OUSU’s stance and all our elected officers are bound to it. OUSU will now join with other supporters of Free Education at a national level, most notably at the demonstration on the 19th November to which OUSU is subsidising transport.”

James Elliott said, “I’m delighted that OUSU has adopted free education as policy. The task is now for OUSU to mobilise the student body for the national campaign and get people to London on November the 19th.”

In all, 15 colleges voted to support the motion before OUSU Council commenced while St John’s, Jesus, Magdalen, Brasenose and Keble voted against it.

A-scone-ment for Oriel freshers after party trouble Students to hold ‘The Scones Say Sorry’ event with proceeds going to St John’s Ambulance Cherwell News Team ORIEL COLLEGE FRESHERS are hosting a charity cream tea sale this Saturday 1st November, as they seek to atone for a drunken party held over matriculation weekend.

In response to a call from the Deans at the College to redeem themselves, a group of students came together to organise the fundraiser, with all proceeds from the sale going to St John’s Ambulance. Cream teas will be sold for £3, and the event will take place in the Oriel College Porter’s lodge from 10.30am until midday.

The idea for the fundraiser follows a riotous Matriculation weekend. A group of Oriel freshers hosted a ‘scones and rosé’ party without informing the Deans. When the event got out of hand the College raised concerns.

The Oriel freshers were summoned to meet the Deans and were berated for their actions.

They were asked to come up with an idea to apologise for their mistakes, and after careful deliberations, it was agreed a cream tea sale was the perfect response, given the evident popularity of scones.

Determined to give something back to an organisation vital to the Oxford community, they asked the Deans if all proceeds might go to St John’s A mbulance charity.

A n n i e Hazlitt, coorganiser of ‘The Scones Say Sorry’ event, told Cherwell, “We just couldn’t think of a better charity. Having had personal experience of St John’s Ambulance I know it’s there

for every Oxford student. They’re always there to catch us when we fall.”

Some Oriel freshers were particularly remorseful about the party. “We believe we’ve all learnt our lesson now”, Serena Yagoub commented. Tina Moll, a modern languages student, was less sure however, “We would do it again but with less rosé”, she suggested to Cherwell, “maybe even whiskey next time.”

Other students were keen to put the incident behind them and look forward to the charity sale. Max Mccreery, a first year PPE student, remarked, “The scones and rosé was a great idea, but anything for charity — that’s what we’re interested in.” Will Cook, another fresher, was more equivocal, telling Cherwell, “A lot of people have viewed it through rose tinted glasses.”

He went on to say that he was mindful that a bit of perspective was needed given this was Matriculation weekend.

All costs for ‘The Scones Say Sorry’ sale are being covered by the students themselves. Another Oriel fresher involved in the event stated, “It’s really gratifying how everyone’s chipping

in. The whole college seems really behind this.

I’ve had people coming up to me in the street asking for a room service scone delivery.”

The logistics of the event are complex. Kate Welsh, who will be responsible for brewing over two hundred cups of tea on the day, told Cherwell, “In terms of tea, as I’m not a tea drinker I’m feeling pretty daunted by the task ahead. It’s a personal barrier I’m just going to have to overcome. What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. I’m just doing it to put on my CV.” Stevan Boljevic secured the much sought after role of Chief Creamer for the event. He claimed, “When I was first offered the position of Chief Creamer I felt somewhat overwhelmed.

I’ve never creamed so much in my life on such a tight schedule. However, now that we’ve upped the quantity of cream on offer I’m certain I can cream to everyone’s satisfaction. I’m thrilled to be working with someone as jammy as Isaac Virchis on creating the perfect scone.”

Oriel students were also quick to engage in the age old debate of jam-before-cream, or cream-before-jam on their scones. Cherwell pressed Boljevic on this issue, and was told, “I’d like to stress that following a team meeting we will be catering to all cream preferences and nobody will face discrimination on the grounds of how they want to be creamed — the customer must come first.”

Both the College and JCR President were unavailable for comment.

‘The Scones Say Sorry’ Charity Cream Tea Sale will be held in the Oriel College Porter’s Lodge 10.30am12 Saturday 1st November.

News | 6

31.10.14 | Cherwell

Students #VeggiePledge to support OUSU campaign

Oxford wins varsity bike theft contest

Campaign starts successfully, despite questions over its statistics Oxford’s OX1 postcode is declared the worst for bicycle theft in UK Tom Calver News Editor OUSU’S #VEGGIEPLEDGE CAMPAIGN launched on Wednesday, aiming to encourage students to turn vegetarian or vegan for the month of November.

Pledgers are invited to take on their own tailor-made ‘Veggie Pledge’, which involves eating vegetarian or vegan food for at least one day a week over the next month, with some pledgers planning on going vegan for the entire month.

OUSU’s Environment and Ethics Officer Xavier Cohen told Cherwell, “We want to show that being veggie and vegan is not only doable, but enjoyable, whilst also highlighting the environmental benefits of consuming less meat and fewer animal products. “#VeggiePledge is also an intercollegiate competition. The pledgers from the college with the most pledges will win a trip to The Gardeners Arms — Oxford’s veggie and vegan friendly pub — with £100 behind the bar.”

Prospective pledgers are required to post their name, college, and tailor-made pledge on the wall of the campaign’s Facebook group.

Cohen added, “#VeggiePledge is also a collective endeavour, and as such, we’re encouraging people to post photos and recipes. #VeggiePledge finally makes it acceptable to post pictures of food on social media again!”

After Cohen predicted that it would be “exploding on social media” on Wednesday, the total number of pledges made by the end of the day topped 150. Wadham, Balliol, and Worcester led the college charts early on.

The Facebook page also shared statistics about how much land, water and CO2 could be saved by avoiding

meat for varying numbers of days per week, claiming that “going veggie” for one day a week saves 29m2 of land, 1,611 litres of water, and 8kg of CO2.

Balliol alumnus Marc Pacitti was, however, critical of the statistics presented by the campaign. He claimed, “The contributions to land use and pollution won’t be linear in participants or length of participation — it would probably be exponential with a wide base (due to sticky price type forces like contracts).

“There is no reason to think the programme will get anywhere off the bottom of the curve.

The impact people will likely have is so marginal it equals zero. There is no way that they can give a figure that fits for each person who joins up in terms of how much good they do.

“Anyway, the best way to decrease meat production is to stop subsidising it. Perhaps people would be better off writing to their MEPs and asking them to remove subsidies for livestock from the Common Agricultural Policy.”

Cohen was quick to justify the campaign’s claims, informing Cherwell that the statistics are derived from academic papers.

However, he added that “levelling criticism here wilfully misses the point of #VeggiePledge”. He explained, “We are trying to encourage shifts in popular habits and societal views on the matters at hand. We know for a fact that vegetarianism and veganism are not only better for our planet environmentally than meat-eating, but are becoming increasingly necessary in fighting climate change. “#VeggiePledge is a humble campaign aimed at increasing the rate of takeup of these lifestyles over time — just because it isn’t going to solve climate change alone, that’s no good reason not to support it.”

Cherwell EDITORS Ella Richards (Exeter), Samuele Volpe (Exeter) editor@cherwell.org DEPUTY EDITORS Robert Walmsley, Luke Barratt, Charlie Atkins, Helen Thomas, Alex Stronell editorial@cherwell.org NEWS Tom Calver, Stan Lalanne, Georgia Latham, Ellen Brewster (Broadcasting) news@cherwell.org NEWS REPORTERS Ellen O'Neill, Thea Slotover, Yunfei Yang, Rebecca Grant, Maria Wilczek, Lucy Valsamidis, Emilia Carslaw, April

Peake, Millie Belli, David Rischel, Sian Meaney, Jonathan Yeung, Henry Shalders, Samuel Rutishauser-Mills, Sam Slater, Shannon Britton, Bethan Candlin, Suzie Marshall, Daniel Ward, Michael Protheroe, Charlotte Molony, Sam Dayan INVESTIGATIONS EDITORS Tom Hall, Jack Doyle investigations@cherwell.org COMMENT Niamh McIntyre, Tom Carter, Rachel Dobbs (Broadcasting) comment@cherwell.org DEPUTY COMMENT Samuel Rutishauser-Mills, James Elliott, Charlotte Clark, Zaeem Bhanji, Tjoa Shze Hui, Tom Posa, Tom Robinson, Mary Reader LIFESTYLE Emma Cookson, Sara Semic lifestyle@cherwell.org DEPUTY LIFESTYLE Natasha Somi, Millie Belli FOOD & DRINK Rhiannon Gibbs-Harris FASHION Rebecca Borthwick, Jack Davies fashion@cherwell.org DEPUTY FASHION Katie Pangonis CULTURE Isaac Goodwin, Naomi Polonsky, Rushabh Haria (Broadcasting) culture@cherwell.org ARTS & BOOKS Andrew McLean, Joel Nelson artsandbooks@cherwell.org FILM & TV Tom Barrie, Ollie Johnson filmandtv@cherwell.org STAGE Fergus Morgan, Bethan Roberts stage@cherwell.org MUSIC Clare Saxby, Stephen Bradshaw music@cherwell.org ONLINE COLUMNISTS Cody Gifford, Joel Casey SPORT Jamie Farmer, Jacob Rabinowitz sport@cherwell.org DEPUTY SPORT Anna Murphy, Tushkar Kelkar, Summer Taylor PUZZLES EDITOR Aneesh Naik puzzles@cherwell.org BROADCASTING EDITORS Lily Taylor, Niluka Kavanagh broadcasting@cherwell.org DEPUTY BROADCASTING Esther Hodges, Megan Gibbons, Fatima al-Kassab, Livi Wilkinson , Florence Hyde, James Clemores PHOTO EDITOR Stephanie Sy-Quia PHOTOGRAPHERS Kate Hodkinson, Lily Mackow-Mcguire, Rachel Griffith, Alex Benn, Sophie Cheng ILLUSTRATORS Sage Goodwin, David McShane, Walter Goodwin, Emma Simpson, Morgan Harries BUSINESS MANAGER Emma Lipczynski BUSINESS TEAM Holly Jackson, Stephanie Austera OSPL CHAIRMAN Jonny Adams chairman@ospl.org MANAGING DIRECTOR Kalila Bolton FINANCE DIRECTOR Minyoung Seo SECRETARY April Peake DIRECTORS Rowan Borchers, Matt Broomfield, Max Long

For advertising and business enquiries, please do not hesitate to contact us via advertising@ospl.org or on 01865 722780. More information can be found on www.ospl.org The Editors welcome your comments and endeavour to print corrections where appropriate.

Oxford Student Publications Limited 7 St Aldates, Oxford OX1 3BS. We reserve the right to edit letters for length and clarity.

Published by OSPL ©2014 Printed by: Mortons Print Ltd.

Charlotte Molony News Reporter A RECENT STUDY has named Oxford’s OX1 postcode as the worst for bike thefts in the whole country, narrowly beating Cambridge’s CB1 postcode.

Between May 2013 and April this year, 846 bicycle thefts were reported to the police in the central Oxford area, while 781 bikes were reported stolen in Cambridge’s CB1 postcode. The research covered 92,508 bike thefts reported to police, and was conducted using data from data.police.co.uk by John Moss, the developer of the Check That Bike website.

Despite the findings, however, Oxford’s City Council has said that there has been no recent increase in the number of bike thefts reported.

A spokesman explained, “We have received no reports from the police or student representatives about any spike in bike thefts in the city.

We would of course help or assist in any inspections but so far there has been no approach to our Streetscene service for such support.”

Thames Valley Police officers, however, have acknowledged the frequency of bicycle theft in and around the city centre, warning Oxfordians that even if you lock your bike up securely using a substantial D-lock, your bike is still at risk, as lock clamps can be used to remove the padlock.

Police guidelines encourage students to report bicycle thefts as soon as possible, as officers have access to CCTV cameras in and around the city centre that can be used to identify thieves and increase the chances of your bike being recovered.

Second year historian Joel Nelson told Cherwell, “I’m not surprised that the centre of Oxford is the worst in the country for bike theft — there are so many bikes around!”

The need for increased security measures was made apparent after Cherwell contacted a number of students about bike theft in the city centre.

One first year explained, “Last Friday, having been in Oxford for no more than two weeks, I was both surprised and infuriated to find that my bicycle had already been stolen, in broad daylight, whilst briefly left locked up along Magdalen Street.”

Another fresher at St Catherine’s College related, “My bicycle was stolen within two days of having arrived here. They took everything except my front wheel, which was locked up! I knew that bike theft was a problem in Oxford, but I didn’t imagine I would need to be replacing by bike so soon!”

Meanwhile, Jesus fourth year Emilia Carslaw told Cherwell that she has witnessed several attempted bike thefts around the town centre. She explained, “Several times after coming home from nights out, my friends and I have caught people trying to steal bikes from the rack on Ship Street. They only stopped when we went over and said, ‘they’ve got CCTV cameras here’.”

Moss’ Check That Bike website also has the potential to help Oxford buyers to ensure their second-hand bike has not been stolen before purchasing. By entering the frame number on online, users can access their bike’s history, while the website also allows users to register and recover stolen bikes by allowing victims to cross-check data with potential buyers.

See C+ for an in-depth investigation into bike theft.

C

hannel 4 Documentaries have a distinctive way of doing things. They’re big, popular, abrasive, and confident, and, more often than not, notably gritty.

Consequently, when I heard that Nick Mirsky was speaking to the Oxford Media Society as part of their stellar lineup of talks this term, I was keen to meet the man behind it all. As Head of Documentaries at Channel 4 Mirsky has one of the most high profile jobs in television media. He’s overseen massively popular series such as One Born Every Minute, Educating Yorkshire, and Benefits Street alongside weird and wonderful singles like the now infamous Dogging Tales.

“What makes Channel 4 interesting is the way it’s run,” he tells me with a clear sense of pride.

Their documentaries are energetic and provocative in a way that few media outlets manage to achieve or imitate. “It’s a commercial channel, so we’ve got to generate advertising revenue, but equally it’s a public service channel, and it operates under a license from Ofcom. Under that license there’s a sort of remit which is laid out, and that remit hwas quite an effect on the documentaries we make, in a really good and exciting way.

“There’s probably three things which also make us different from other broadcasters.

One is that we’ve got to be geared for a younger audience. The audience of Channel 4 is probably about 10-12 years younger than any of the BBC channels.” He then mutters, “apart from BBC3, which no longer exists”.

And then we get to the most crucial marker in Channel 4’s brand of factual content. “It’s writ-

“

Many of the documentaries are taking you into strange worlds with a kind of confidence ten in our license that we have to be innovative.

We have to innovate, we have to experiment.

The BBC can churn out a series about motorways made in loosely the same fashion as they would have done ten years ago. I’m not saying you couldn’t pick through our output and find the odd thing that isn’t revolutionary in format, but we are supposed to innovate.

“The other thing that we’re supposed to do is give a voice to people whose voices are not heard so routinely in other media outlets. It makes the Paralympics our perfect sporting event. It means that it’s right that we should do Benefits Street and Skint. It means it’s right that we do Bedlam. We’re looking in and trying to get inside the lives of people who have mental health problems or are living in different states of unemployment. We’re looking to give them an opportunity to tell their stories. That makes us a bit noisier.”

Mirsky’s immediate defence of Benefits Street is palpable. The series, which followed the lives of several people living on James Turner Street in Birmingham, exploded beyond what anyone could have imagined, including Mirksy himself. The series has received criticism from both sides, with some, including the contributors, stating that the series was unsympathetic and portrayed those filmed in a way that was different to how the program was pitched. Others have used the program as an excuse to vilify those using the welfare system — there have even been death threats directed at characters.

It’s clearly an issue about which he is often asked, but he’s defiant that it was the right decision to bring the lives of unemployed people into the living rooms of Britain. “It’s so important in those spaces that the emphasis is on letting people describe and reveal what their lives are like.”

I mention the extreme criticism of the series and wonder whether Mirsky still considers Benefits Street a responsible venture. “There’s an awful lot of unpleasantness on Twitter. That’s difficult, but the truth is, if we as Channel 4 didn’t make films because we were afraid of what some nutters on Twitter would say, what we would be saying is ‘Here’s our channel, we’re going to give editorial control to some extremist nutters, who are very unpleasant and might tweet about it.’ We can’t do that.

“What we have to do more and more is make contributors aware that social media is there and people will say nasty things. All the time we’re there. We talk a lot to everyone that comes close to going on the program about the fact that there will be tweets, and people might say horrible things. In the past, we had to prepare them for the fact that a reviewer in a newspaper might be mean. Now we try to get people to not look at Twitter. It doesn’t attract all that’s best about human nature. We have to help people through that. As documentary makers, we have to be close to people as the programs are going out.”

Channel 4 are even taking the series further, with a spin off show that may or may not be called Immigration Street, filmed in Southampton, as well as a follow up to Benefits Street, this time filmed in Stockton, Teesside. Of course, immigration and the welfare state are two topics which will be nigh on impossible to avoid next year in the lead up to the General Election.

I ask Mirsky if he thinks documentaries have a political responsibility: “I think they’ve got a responsibility. I’m nervous of saying they have a political responsibility. They’ve got a responsibility to engage with life as it is. Immigration is a massive subject and we should be making programs about it.

People are very concerned about the benefits system, and there are definite pockets of longterm unemployment where people want jobs and cannot get them. We should be looking at what life is like, both in areas of high immigration, and also in areas where a lot of people are on benefits.

“What we need to do is reflect Britain to Britain and find people living in those worlds, giving them the opportunity to tell us what their lives are like and what shape their life takes. Political, maybe with a small ‘p’, but I feel

a little bit nervous about saying we’ve got a ‘political responsibility’”.

What’s perhaps intriguing about the range of documentaries on Channel 4 is the juxtaposition of shows about incredibly common and ‘normal’ British experiences, like going to a comprehensive school Educating in Yorkshire and giving birth on One Born Every Minute, with Minute programs like Dogging Tales and Paedophile Hunter, which reveal subcultures and ‘unusual’ people to the public eye.

I ask Mirsky why he thinks both have a popularity and belong on the channel. “They don’t necessarily have the exact same audience, but I think they’re both quite Channel 4. I would say that they’re edgier. Many of the documentaries are taking you into strange worlds with a kind of confidence. They’re sort of revelatory in those worlds.

“But then there’s something about what technology has enabled us to do in One Born Every Minute and Educating which means that we can make films in those spaces which are not like any films that have ever been made before.

There’s something about the rig that’s a little bit closer to drama. When you’re watching Educating, at its best, it’s much more dramatic than Waterloo Road. That’s quite revolutionary.”

He adds with a smile, “Now that Educating is onto its third series, and One Born... is onto its sixth or seventh, they feel quite safe, like a

“

I wouldn’t be making people look at the world differently by commisioning a series in Oxford mark on the landscape. There are Channel 4 values deep inside them, but they’ve grown up.

They don’t feel revolutionary anymore, they feel a bit more classic.”

Some of Mirsky’s most notable documentaries have been those he produced for broadcaster Louis Theroux. Known for his distinctive style and approach, and fascination with subcultures, often American, Theroux’s documentaries have seen him visit American prisons, swingers, and the Westboro Baptist Church.

Illustration: Sage

Nick Mirsky talks Channel 4, Louis Theroux, and Benefits Street with Helen Thomas

Goodwin

PROFILE

I wonder whether they’ve been successful because they play so heavily into the British appetite for taboo, or because of the presenter himself. “It’s the combination,” Mirsky answers immediately.

“If you were making a documentary about American prison you’d be thinking in one way, but if you’re thinking about making a documentary about Louis and an American prison, you’re thinking in a completely different way.

What you’re actually thinking about is making Louis a player in the scene. He turns everything into an actuality. What you’re actually watching is what happens when this English bloke comes into an American prison. It feels like that creates a sort of drama. The scenes feel not just like someone’s interviewing, but like they have some kind of dynamic.

“On a Louis film you’re always thinking, ‘What are those scenes where you watch and think ‘oh God, what’s he going to say and what’s going to happen to him when he goes in there’. Those scenes are a way of accessing content. They’re a way of illuminating the world you live in.”

I comment on Theroux’s sympathetic nature with other people. “He’s very likeable, but he doesn’t make people feel totally comfortable. There’s something in that that means he creates a space into which people reveal themselves.”

I finish the interview by asking Mirsky, a New College alumnus, if a documentary about Oxford life might be something on the cards for Channel 4. He rejects the idea almost immediately.

“It does occasionally get pitched, but it feels quite ‘the establishment’, and there’s something about what we would be saying by going to Oxford that would feel like it was not the right message. I wouldn’t be making people look at the world differently. It wouldn’t be surprising enough. We wouldn’t do Educating Eton, we do Educating the East End. And when we made The Secret Lives of Students, it was much better that we went to Leicester University rather than Oxford. Unless there was something amazing I’m missing.” He gives me a questioning look, as though I should be convincing him. “I suppose, if someone made a taster tape, and it was so extraordinary...”

COMMENT

The silence that is sapping our Student Union Jack Matthews Contributor

C

ombibos in Gloucester Green, the downstairs of Caffé Nero on the High Street, Christ Church Meadow. All of these places feel eerily quiet at the moment. And it’s terrifying me. You see, at this time of year, you shouldn’t be able to catch a whiff of roasted Arabica without spotting a secretive liaison between two aspiring OUSU sabbatical officers.

Strolls along the Isis should be greeted with a subtle chorus of blackbirds and wannabe NUS delegates, and an early morning apricot danish is always best appreciated whilst overhearing a candidate for OUSU President persuade a

“

jobs in OUSU, the less competition there is, which results in less pressure on the candidates to go out and build strong electoral teams. This leads to fewer new people becoming actively involved in OUSU, and future leaders never being discovered. Smaller slates mean less active outreach during the election, which leads to lower turnouts and higher rates of apathy towards OUSU. Shoddy policies remain unchallenged, and candidates with views unrepresentative of the wider student population become more likely to gain office. And so the body that is meant to represent us all to the University becomes ever more distant to the ordinary student member.

Some of you, at this point, are wondering why you should care about OUSU in the slightest. I understand where you’re coming from — I didn’t care much for OUSU as a fresher; my Common Room was always there for me when I

needed it, and I couldn’t understand why some of the people in OUSU seemed to be more focused on condemning the latest international goings-on rather than on discussing educational issues.

Commons Rooms are great, but they can’t do everything. We, as students, have been granted a seat at the top tables of the top university in the world — we should be sending the very best to fight our corner. And it does matter. A few years ago, OUSU secured the best fee-waiver and bursary package of any English University, something we need to continue to defend and protect for future generations of students.

Your choice over the next few weeks, through the OUSU elections, has the potential to define what student life in Oxford will be like for years to come. But first we need there to be a choice.

So to the waverers and fence-sitters, umming and ahhing over whether to run in the upcom-

Smaller slates mean less active outreach during the election JCR Officer to run for Student Trustee. But not this year. Silence.

6th Week of Michaelmas marks the annual elections of the Student Union, OUSU, and usually by this time in term, there are a plethora of candidates for the varied positions, out there hacking to build the best slate (a team of candidates). But as I’ve mentioned above, the usual haunts of this seasonal visitor are devoid of their customary democratic discussions. And this is bad for all of us.

The fewer candidates there are for the top

Cherwell on the go

App available for iPhone and Android

Yes

“

Common Rooms are great, but they can’t do everything ate welfare, then there’s a place for you too.

Nominations open on Thursday of 3rd Week and close a week later. And don’t think that you need to have a big team to win — plenty of independent candidates triumph in these elections.

Finally, to those who have no interest in running for office: at least make your voice heard — vote. Even if this plea for more people to announce their candidature doesn’t work, you will still have a choice. For there is always the opportunity to vote for RON, which stands for Re-Open Nominations. Consider their proposals, watch them hust, and if they’re not good enough, then vote RON. You deserve the best.

It should be said that there are a few who have quietly mentioned they are going to run, but we shall only see the best of these people if there is competition, and they have to fight for every vote.

In the meantime, the future of our Student Union is in intensive care, and desperately needs a transfusion of fresh blood and ideas. It is time, therefore, that we start donating

Can students from privileged backg

Alice King Contributor

T

ing election — give it a go. There are too many good people sitting this one out, and leaving it to someone else. We need you all to run, to put forward your vision of OUSU in a post-Trup age, and to allow students the option to engage with a set of ideas that appeals to them.

To those who haven’t even considered being a student representative, but have a passion for anything from academic issues to gradu-

he very role of Access Officer exists in order to ensure that someone’s socio-economic background should have no influence on their time as a student. Regardless of heritage, family income, the quality of their secondary school education or the desirability of their postcode, Access Officers strive to place all students on as equal a footing as possible when they apply to university. It can generally be agreed upon that their work is invaluable in fighting institutionalised prejudice.

Not only that, but Access Officers also combat the widely accepted stereotypes of what the typical Oxford student should be. They are there, fundamentally, to facilitate access to the University itself for those who are challenged by institutional discrimination.

Why then should we tolerate prejudice against potential Access Officers on the very grounds that they are there to combat? For me, a large and extremely positive part of my experience at Oxford has been erasing the inverted snobbery I had cultivated before arriving. The idea that some people are ‘too posh’ can all too easily establish an ‘us-and-them’ mentality amongst students. It doesn’t take

Alice King and Tjoa Shze Hui debate whether your

much for, let’s say, a student from a poorly performing state school to find certain aspects of Oxford life intimidating and even unpleasant.

To reinforce this by saying that a privileged student can’t qualify as a proactive supporter of access at this University could fortify divides and create new ones.

It’s embarrassing to admit that I had such an attitude of inverted

“

We should stop drawing unnecessary divisions snobbery when I first came to Oxford, one which was neither justified nor helpful, and did nothing to add to my experience as a student.

After overcoming this mindset, I was told by friends from more privileged backgrounds (for want of a better word) that they too were aware of this perceived division and were equally intimidated by it at times. If anything, this proves that we need even more support for and involvement in access programmes from all students — to prove that we’re all in this together, instead of in separate teams working only for our respective sides.

We are, or should be, unified as students together at the same University, and it’s time to start acting like it. What better way to do this than to stop drawing unnecessary divisions between ourselves?

Admittedly, it is hard to deny that a disproportionately large number of the Oxford student body are from privileged backgrounds. This disproportion is not just visible in the past education of students — it’s also remarkable when it comes to race, region and socio-economic background. But does a student’s privilege make them any less academically talented, any less interesting, any less of a good person?

Ultimately, Access Officers work on levelling the playing field, not in trying to strip privileged applicants of their merits, but in giving less privileged applicants the chance to perform and achieve, unfettered by institutional prejudice. As such, being an Access Officer should be an option open, like that of studying at Oxford, to anyone willing and able to fulfil the necessary criteria.

To imply that privileged individuals in any respect could or should not have such a role makes the role of Access Officer in itself a privilege.

Implying an individual should or could not achieve as well as another because of something as unchangeable as their background goes against everything access programmes stand for

Comment | 9

31.10.14 | Cherwell

Cherwell

Letters to the editors

editor@cherwell.org 7, St Aldates OX1 3BS @Cherwell_Online

Since 1920

Aims and Goals

Drunken fools?

If you measure using issue numbers, these editors are now half way through their time at the top.

After a slow long vac, four issues have flown by with the latent worry that, in the juggling act of work and newspaper, we may lose focus of the targets of our editorial term.

With this in mind, it was good to see Trup outline his “aims for the year” in his fortnightly report. Clarifying his presidential goals, Trup said he planned to make “messages clear and engaging”, “governance documents... work better for students”, and — under the title “Innovation” — he pledged to “work to ensure students are better supported to get their ideas in action.”

In the good line of politicians since time in memoriam,, one feels that the President is setting out positive words to try to create a positive atmosphere, but when weighed for their substance, his messages appear to be less “clear and engaging” than he might hope.

Then again, this editor never officially set out her aims for term — other than not failing her degree and preserving her sanity. We all work as hard as we can to do our best. Aims can give us direction and help us persevere, but the form-filling culture of Personal Statements and internship applications often leads us to write waffle that we unspokenly recognise is filler for something we can’t fully elucidate. With this in mind, this editor hopes Trup’s aims emerge out of the mire with more clarity than they have on paper

The end of a club night is never the most pleasant of experiences. That being said, the accounts of brutality and abuse by bouncers at Park End are worrying in the extreme.

Whilst being on the door of a nightclub is hardly the most exciting of jobs — this editor is well aware that students can be unpleasant drunks — it is scary to hear of members of the profession allowing power to go to their heads. Surely there is a responsibility inherent in the job to create a safe environment.

Park End is, of course, also famous for its presence in Cherwell’s perpetually popular ‘Shark Tales’ video series, and whilst this newspaper is often accused of exploiting the inebriated, this editor would like to draw attention to the largely positive behaviour of the vast majority of those who ‘star’ with Freddie Money.

As a record of the drunken antics of Oxford’s populace, overall ‘Shark Tales’ demonstrates the good-natured manner of most of those who make the pilgrimage each and every Wednesday. Although every so often someone gets a bit angry, it seems difficult to imagine that the same students have deservedly found themselves bruised in a darkened passage. Hopefully these cases of assault occur on far fewer occasions than today’s report suggests, but this editor worries that this is a vain hope. As students, it is thus important to challenge those who abuse power in such a flagrant manner

JThe

Can I have a quickie?

The President of St John’s College JThe President of St John’s College JCR, Alasdair Lennon, has been found to have committed electoral malpractice.

Jack Myers EDITOR-IN-CHIEF, The Oxford Student Kitchen Assistant, St John’s College Lost in Translation

Can I go to hall please?

Alex Stronell Deliveries Manager, Hertford College Request for Comment START Please quote me in full.

Wollte euch nur kurz mal sagen, dass ich übertrieben dankbar bin, dass ich durch euch Herr Spiro (http://oxford.tab.co.uk/author/zspiro/) kennen gelernt habe. Wir hatten letzte Woche Lunch zusammen... es war traumhaft!

Christina Der Speigel Felony Guys, I thought I you should let you know that I think I saw some of the Jesus crowd making off with a bottle of wine. You know, Tom Calver and that lot. I don’t want to cause a stir but I thought it should be reported

The Helpful Sabb OUSU Towers Hearsay Guys, I only had an orgy with five Oxford BNOCs. How does everyone know? Who told everyone? I don’t understand!

A Gossip #IBloodyLoveCarrots Watch out everyone, Veggie Pledge is going to hit your newsfeeds hard!

Xav Cohen

Tweet of the Week

Izzy Goodwin Culture Editor, Concerned Party Worcester College

END

grounds make good access officers? background matters when doing outreach work Tjoa Shze Hui Deputy Comment Editor

A

t first, I found this debate a difficult one to come down on with any measure of decisiveness.

Just two days ago, I was certain that I wanted to write an argument for the ‘yes’ side, detailing why privilege shouldn’t stop anyone from speaking out on issues of importance, or from trying to make the University a better place for everyone here. For it seemed to me that the opposite would prove fatally enervating when taken to its logical conclusion. If one were not allowed to take action on any problem falling outside the realms of personal experience, then wouldn’t a huge chunk of student advocacy here at Oxford become discredited?

Wouldn’t many campaigners march about without any recourse to public support, and most transnational activism fall flat on its face?

It was only later, when I tested these abstract arguments against my friends, that I came to see them as dire pronouncements trumpeted from the tail end of a slippery slope, sexy but irrelevant to the specific situation of access and Access Officers in Oxford. The point of debate here is not on whether students from privileged backgrounds can or should speak out on issues of justice and ac-

cess; like everyone else, they certainly have some measure of freedom to advocate for things that are good.

The real question is whether serving as Access Officers is the most effective way for these students to accomplish their desired end, and make a positive impact on university life. My answer to that specific question must be a firm and resounding no.

At the most basic level, this has to do with the scope of the Access Officer’s job, which revolves around the delicate art of persuasion. At outreach events, Access Officers have to

“

We should not let the privileged talk over minority voices paint their colleges as friendly and welcoming to students who have never met an Oxonian before in the flesh, let alone thought about graduating as one. Arguably, their persuasive techniques would seem vastly more convincing if they were able to embody their own claims about accessibility, and not merely dole out success stories in vague and theoretical terms. Truth be told, any Access Officer who urges terrifying leaps of

No

faith without having personally taken one themselves is likely to come across as insincere, difficult to relate to, and sweetly insulated from the realities of state school life; at worst, they might even perpetuate the impression that Oxford is only for ‘posh people’ like themselves, and unwittingly leave fence-sitters persuaded in the wrong direction.

In my opinion, electing a privileged Access Officer would only be justified if more suitable candidates were lacking, unwilling to speak up, or rendered voiceless by some other means. But in Oxford none of these situations holds true. Plenty of successful applicants come in each year from non-traditional feeder schools and, typically, each round of elections sees at least one candidate highlighting the relevance of their own experiences in a bid for the job.

In this situation, then, to let the more privileged speak up in the name of an ‘oppressed minority’ would be akin to talking over said minority voices, while willfully ignoring the fact their own voices are still in good working order.

The issue at stake here is that of suitability for a collegiate position in limited supply. Since only one, two or at most a handful of people get to call themselves Access Officers each year, it’s of vital importance that this role goes to the people who have the most relevant experience, and are thus likely to do the better job

Have your say If you would like to respond to any of the features in this week's edition, contact the Comment section at comment@ cherwell.org

10 | Comment

Cherwell | 31.10.14

George Monbiot on the political OXSTEW strategies of environmentalism THE

Christ Church to fill Hall with pictures of dead, rich, white men

S

tudents at Christ Church will be dining in rather unusual surroundings this year following the radical decision by its governing body to replace the current set of paintings in Hall with ones portraying long-dead, exclusively white men.

According to the Revd Canon Charles Alexander, Dean of Christ Church College, “Rather than obscure Tudor clerics and 14th century aristocrats, we will be dining surrounded by a vibrant range of 16th century clerics and medieval aristocrats.” The Dean stated that “it was felt to be necessary to take this step as dead, rich, white men as a group are barely represented in the current student body. In fact, last year every single matriculating undergraduate was alive.”

It is understood that a number of Christ Church alumni are unhappy at not having been consulted regarding the changes, with one former JCR President having spoken anonymously to The OxStew. They said, “I don’t want to sound overly dramatic but I just feel like my entire existence has been invalidated. The exact placement of those specific paintings on those specific walls was the source of all my happiness and the frame of reference through which I have attempted to navigate every aspect of my life. How am I supposed to carry on after this? I’d like to know how these people can live with themselves. They’re sick.”

Praise for the new paintings has been received from an unlikely quarter after the change was hailed by Timothy Stephens, the controversial Foucault Professor of Post-Modernist Bullshit, who tweeted “What better way to honour the immense progress made by society over the last few hundred years than to pretend it hasn’t happened? #historyisamirage #onanotherlevel #itshardbeingthisintellectual”.

The College’s Access Officer said that the change of paintings was not an isolated publicity stunt but part of a wider effort to make sure that certain minority groups feel welcome at Christ Church. “We wanted to challenge some of people’s frequent misconceptions about Christ Church: we aren’t all red

“

I don’t want to sound overly dramatic but I just feel like my entire existence has been invalidated trouser-wearing fox-hunters who touch our genitals in public, fantasising about the concept of innate leadership, but we are keen to make this college a home for those that are — they will certainly be made to feel more than welcome here.”

This is only the latest in a series of controversial decisions by Christ Church, after the College’s decision last year to tackle the issue of state-school pupils and people from deprived backgrounds feeling alienated during their time at Oxford by simply refusing to consider their applications.

Following a review of the application process, led by the social-mobility expert Katie Hopkins, it was decided to instead just select students based on the criterion of how posh their names sound. This explains the proliferation of students named Tarquin in the lower years at the College.

Philip Kinemod

Sam Rutishauser-Mills Deputy Comment Editor

G

eorge Monbiot appears to be a man with all the answers. If you were to ask him, say, how to prevent an impending ecological collapse brought upon by man-made climate change, whilst retaining the highest living standards possible, he could whip out a copy of his book Heat and tell you. If you wanted to know how to go about reversing the destruction of the natural world, through the massrestoration of ecosystems, he could pass you a copy of Feral, pretty much explaining that to you. In terms of the environment, Monbiot has become a modern-day oracle — that is, a man frequently found pontificating about what we

“

In many cases organised religion has horrendous consequences should be doing rather than whatever course of destruction we are currently pursuing.

But something Monbiot is guilty of, which can be said of a lot of the environmental lobby, is failing to move people to take the necessary action on climate change. The odds aren’t exactly stacked in their favour, but the fact remains that even those who fully accept that we are facing a massive ecological disaster behave in a way that seems inert despite this knowledge. So my first question to Monbiot is, how can the environmental lobby get people to meet the threats posed by climate change and planetary destruction with the same commitment and sacrifice that drove people, say, to the beaches of Normandy to fight fascism?

“We’re engaging people on the level of policy and not on the level of values,” begins Monbiot. “But policies shift and move on — you can take a consumerist approach to them, and come next year you’re fighting completely different ones. However, without those policies being rooted in a bed of values it’s very hard to get people to make that lifetime commitment.

When you look at organisations that have actually managed to get people to make that lifetime commitment to their core values, they’re religious organisations. I think part of the reason they’ve managed to do that is that they’ve approached people on the level of value, rather than on the level of policy.”

It’s intriguing to hear Monbiot speak favourably of organised religion, which many would consider in opposition to his own progressive ideals. But he is quick to explain himself. He says, “Progressives have very good reasons for being suspicious of religions — in many cases organized religion has horrendous consequences, but at the same time there are a lot of lessons we can learn.

“It’s a highly successful model. Sometimes it’s hard to see that in this country, perhaps one of the most irreligious on earth, but when you look at many of the world’s religions they’re fantastically strong; stronger than they’ve ever been.”

In fact, values remain a theme throughout the course of our interview. My next question — is the environmental lobby guilty of being too white, male and middle class, and how could it go about changing this — is answered with a further appeal to the success of the religious model, “Again, the very people who have got it right are the churches; you look at the evangelical churches. They have a complete cross section of humanity in their congregations, they’re far more diverse than our campaigns are, and again I believe this is because they are appealing to values which are fundamental to

all people, in principle at any rate.”

“In reality many of the churches stand for hierarchy, oppression, the concentration of wealth and power. But what they preach are fundamental human values. Whereas what we preach are complicated policies — you have to actually be quite interested in the subject to become involved in it. It’s quite alienating if you’re already not part of the culture of environmentalism. So we tend to appeal to people like ourselves, and manage not to appeal to people with different life experiences. And that’s a real liability.”

Of course, this isn’t to say the environmental lobby shouldn’t discuss policy, insists Monbiot, “But values are the bed on which policies can grow and at the moment we’re growing our policies without a foundation, so the moment there’s any shift in circumstances they keel over and die because they’ve run out of nutrients.”

Our conversation turns to rewilding, a project championed by Monbiot in his latest book Feral, which calls for the reintroduction of native species to their habitats in order to restore these habitats to their natural uncultivated state. I raise the objection that without an appeal to the humanist dimension of environmental destruction, whilst only discussing reintroduction of obscure rare animals, that public perceptions of more serious environmental issues might be diminished?

“Of course there’s that danger” he replies.

“But I feel rewilding might be a good way of reengaging with those serious issues. We tend to expend most of our energy fighting the things we don’t like, and there’s an awful lot that people should be fighting. But we don’t have a chance of making the world better, rather than a little less worse, until we start having an agenda of our own, concerning the change that we wish to see.”

So why hasn’t Monbiot gone into politics? It is a fair question to ask someone who has spent much of their career commenting on how society should be run.

“I am in politics. I have been all my life”, he replies bluntly.

“When you say ‘in politics’ you mean parliamentary politics, but what I do is politics, just a different sort. One of the ways we have — to an extent — been brainwashed, by its constant repetition in the media, is the belief that politics begins and ends in the Westminster.”

Is he apolitical? No. “Unlike Russell Brand I don’t think we should give up voting, or

that there is no longer a need for representative politics. But we pay far too much attention to 600 people and far too little to 60 million.” Anticipating my next question — why he hasn’t gone into representative politics — Monbiot is keen to dismiss the idea. “Partly because I’d be crap at it, partly because I enjoy what I do, and partly because I believe real influence lies in the margins.”

We’re sitting on a bench in Jesus College, when a couple of students strut past carrying freebies grabbed from the careers fair. I ask Monbiot what he makes of the emphasis on the City at Oxford, and graduates from the University who walk straight into careers in

“

Ploughing into the City just to make money: what a fabulous waste of life corporate finance.

“What’s the point? We only get one life and you want to hand it over to the financial sector? Ploughing into the City just to make money? What a fabulous waste of life that is.

People are horribly let down by their career advisors. There’s a macho determination to put people on the course of a clearly defined career which will gain them position and wealth, rather than satisfaction and excitement, and a wealth of life.”

Monbiot’s enthusiasm is contagious: that evening as I write up our interview I feel a new-found urge to work for public good rather than my own personal gain. But the next day the idea passes; precisely exemplifying the phenomenon Monbiot described.

Sustaining public interest by an appeal to ‘values’ is only to give the suggestion of a solution.

The environmental lobby desperately needs an overhaul.

It must broaden its appeal, make new converts, and convince people that necessary action is overdue — before it’s too late

LIFESTYLE

It doesn’t seem like our clubber in the middle here is having a great time. Perhaps it’s because he’s realised that he’s spending yet another Thursday night surrounded by faux bamboo and faux DJs in a dingy Oxford club. To make matters worse, it looks as though he has been forced into wearing an over-sized straw hat with a blue Fosters band around it: the ultimate woman repellent, it turns out, as proven by the frightened female behind him.

Not a good call mate.

John Evelyn

I

Dominic Hand Oriel, 1st Year English

Ellie Trend Pembroke, 2nd Year English

Sweet second-year looking to settle down with fellow English student

Charming Renaissance man seeks a girl to recite Shakespearean sonnets to

What did you get from your Facebook stalking?

He seemed very interesting and arty, but had pretentious potential. Also in need of a haircut.

What did you get from your Facebook stalking?

Average taste in music, great page banter and a good selection of seascapes.

First impressions?

First impressions?

Arrived 10 minutes late, but gave a hearty hug.

Love at first sight.

Did he dress to impress?

Yes, he wore a proper Sherlock coat .

Our future together.

What did you talk about?

Very Trend-y.

Football, mainly.

Did she dress to impress?

What did you talk about?

Were there any awkward moments?

When he got down on one knee in the middle of TSK.

Were there any awkward moments?

Her red wine was a bit expensive.

How many times did his leg brush against yours?

How many times did her leg brush against yours?

Too nervous to count.

Describe Dom in three words Tall, charming, mature.

Describe Ellie in three words Sweet, bookish, sympathetic.

I didn’t keep count.

Was there a goodbye kiss?

Until next time,

No comment.

John Evelyn

9... 10 if he wasn’t a fresher.

Got gossip? Email gossipevelyn@gmail.com with the juicy details!

Creaming Spires

Blind Date

W

elcome back, loyal readers, for another instalment of what I’m sure is the highlight of your week, namely the discovery of the sordid deeds of the great and good here in our fair city.

The first order of business must surely be the much talked about recent vote on Free Education in that least likely of places, the Student Union. It has reached my ears that one officer found herself Anna-mated enough to leave the room prior to the vote being cast, apparently incapable of voting how she felt. While it is unfortunate that our erstwhile VP wasn’t (Brad)shaw enough of herself to go against the party line, the abstention has certainly been noted, as was her voting card, which was apparently flung to one side.

Moving on, we have the final answer to the question of precisely how much it would Kostas to go on a date: the answer is very little indeed. It’s a shame that his partner wasn’t able to de-Liv-er on her promises, or actually turn up, but if one is labouring under the misapprehension that one’s date is royalty, then discovering the truth behind the matter must surely be all Greek to her.

News has also reached my ears of one speaker having a Whalen of a time after her debut at the Oxford Union, not even making it very far from that establishment before she ran into the waiting arms of Teddy Hall’s most in demand young NUS exec.

Finally, we wind up with some of meatier gossip of the week, specifically the nocturnal activities of the editorial staff of ‘JThe’ rival paper. One member found himself Myers-d in St. Johns when he was invited to dinner with, among others, a man far too busy Vaugh-ing over his supposed Bullingdon connections than anything else. As for the after-dinner drinks though, it is to be pointed out that segregating the guests according to gender probably won’t help much in terms of the impression that one creates, and allowing the men to converse with members of the fairer sex is certainly not too Rad-ical a notion.

However, there probably is more to learn about the beating heart of the relationship between the Mutch lauded journalist and his long-suffering amore, both of whom were guests at the dinner. I’ve come to learn that the man Nick-ed by the rivals across town is fond of dumping his issues in a vocal way onto our fair Juliet. We do hope that he remembers his basic hygiene though.

Marks out of 10?

And will there be a date number two?

Long way past that stage.

Bare hugs.

Was there a goodbye kiss?

8.

Marks out of 10?

And will there be a date number two?

Might be a slow burner.

Sick of Tinder? Looking to be swept off your feet?

Volunteer for a Blind Date at lifestylecherwell@gmail.org

n a city that never sleeps (because of essay deadlines) I couldn’t help but wonder why it’s been a few months since I last wore my favourite lace corset. It’s been gathering dust in my wardrobe all summer, when the students were gone and locals came out to play. It’s been lying unused since Michaelmas started. I’ve been getting through my days and nights in simple bra and knickers combinations; simple, to an easily bored woman, is only good for so long. My first instinct was to lace up, find my (similarly dusty by now) stockings, and go to Park End. You know the rest. Find a suitable — insert non-objectifying sexy word here — dance a bit, get into The Tab for overt PDA, call a taxi, go to his room, and then… And then I remembered the reason why I don’t often wear fancy lingerie any more.

It was roughly the third time I was going to sleep with this particular male and the routine was already starting to kill me.

I wanted to spice it up a little, and a black see-through babydoll seemed like just the right touch. I love lingerie. It makes me feel sexy, I look damn good in it, and the more complicated it is to put on, the more exciting it is to take off… So I went to see my guy with all the confidence in the world that I’m in for a good, good night. Except that when he realised that what he’s dealing with here requires more attention than a standard bra, he panicked. What was hard in my hand before suddenly acquired the consistency of a jellyfish. Goodbye long sensuous lovin’ and hello disappointment. He mumbled something awkwardly and I lost all interest.

What I didn’t expect to lose, however, was confidence. After all I am the girl who puts Agent Provocateur on the Christmas list every year (yes mummy of course I am still a virgin why do you ask?) Yeah, we don’t live in Samantha Jones land, but that doesn’t mean we can’t play with lace and leather, right? Before coming up to Oxford I had a fantasy of sophisticated eroticism.

A classy old room in a tower somewhere, champagne in a bucket of ice, me slowly pulling off my burlesque gloves… Yet more often than not, reality is more like, “Hey babe want a quick shag? My tute’s in fifteen minutes.” Hot. Not. But I haven’t kissed Mr Big goodbye just yet. I believe he’s hiding somewhere, drunk, in one of Wahoo’s corners, and this corset isn’t going to unlace itself… No honey, I don’t dress like that just for Halloween.

Ava Gina

Lifestyle | 13

31.10.14 | Cherwell

Alessandra Steinherr and the contradictions in beauty

Emma Cookson speaks to Glamour magazine’s Alessandra Steinherr about the beauty industry, bodies, and feminism

A

lthough I’m ten minutes late calling due to my failure of a Nokia brick, Alessandra is as charming as her original e-mails suggest when she picks up the phone.

“To be totally honest I don’t care what people think — I really couldn’t care less. If people want to be judgemental about me and the beauty industry that’s their problem. I love what I do and I’m proud of what I do.” Steinherr certainly has a lot to be proud about. An award winning journalist and stylist, Steinherr is one of the heavyweights in the world of beauty. Having been Beauty Director at Cosmopolitan, she is now the Beauty Director of Glamour. All this from a woman who has a degree in Economics and speaks six languages.

“Of course I’ve been in situations where people are judgemental but when it happens, I

“

You can be both smart and intelligent and interested in beauty and make-up at the same time just let it slide because I have nothing to prove.

Funnily enough, it’s usually women rather than men. Mainly because I think men don’t understand what it is to work in beauty so they’re normally more intrigued.” Certainly, the beauty industry is one which has always commanded a degree of both fascination and disparagement. Like the fashion industry, there are many who see it as ‘trivial’ and ‘superficial’. However, it is also a $160 billion-a-year global industry on which Americans spend more than they do on education. Steinherr argues that there are other benefits to her field

Is there a science of sexuality?

W

hy are some people gay? Dr Alan Sanders of Northwestern University published research in February of this year, claiming the discovery of genes linked to male sexual orientation, and caused much controversy. This is understandable — the causes of sexual orientation are not only contentious within the scientific community, but they are also important politically. The dangers of such research is clear; every newspaper with an eye for a headlines has used dubious statistics as a pretext for homophobia.

Of course, nobody should need to rely on scientific evidence in order to justify their most intimate relationships, and the determinants of sexual orientation should be irrelevant to liberation and equality. But what is the scientific consensus on the causes of diversity in sexual orientation? And can a ‘gay gene’ even exist?

Current scientific opinion suggests not. This being said, one notable ‘gay uncle’ hypothesis proposes that individuals who don’t have children aid the survival of other individuals in their family. Hence, the presence of genes linked to homosexuality within a family’s DNA could potentially increase the likelihood of their offspring surviving and passing on this DNA. Alternatively, it’s been suggested that genes linked with homosexuality in men may act also to make women more fertile, explaining the conservation of this genetic material throughout evolution.

Indeed, the genetic material associated with male homosexuality is passed exclusively from women to men, suggesting that such an expla-

of work, “I clearly don’t see what I do as a lifesaving exercise but we need to be entertained.

I don’t take myself seriously. If I tell you about eyeliner this season, I obviously don’t think it’s important news. But if after a long day’s work, you just want to put your feet up and find reading about beauty to be enjoyable and relaxing then that gives what I do purpose.”

What initially drew you into the beauty industry? “I can tell you exactly what it was. I always gravitated towards beauty and makeup in general because I was not skinny. I wasn’t grossly overweight, but I wasn’t able to wear all the clothes you see in magazines. But beauty I felt anyone could do. It’s no matter that I don’t fit into the tiny hot pants my friends wear, but I can smell nice, I can have nice hair — that’s what it truly came from.”

Steinherr firmly feels that beauty is a far more democratic and forgiving world than the fashion industry. “A lot of people attack the beauty industry for being very superficial and portraying an image of women that is unrealistic, but actually beauty is open to everyone.

Fashion is far more targeted toward a certain type of person; beauty is not. I also think that fashion is much more trend-set than beauty.”

In an age of female empowerment and the ongoing battle of gender equality in the workplace, there’s a lot of focus on women breaking through glass ceilings in male-dominated environments; what’s it like being a woman working in a female-dominated environment?

“I want to give you a true answer because I don’t want to give you bullshit. Yes, of course there are challenges working in a female-dominated environment. To be fair, I can’t compare because I’ve never worked in a male-dominated environment. I’ve sometimes got into trouble with my bluntness when working solely with women — maybe it’s more of a male attribute.

But at the same time, Glamour is not Devil Wears Prada — there’s not that kind of attitude here. But I love working with the women in my team. I love spending time with them everyday and the nurturing aspect is really important for me.”

nation is plausible. Nonetheless, the data from this single study only accounts for 40 per cent of the chance of a man of being homosexual.

Any genetic indicator is a lot more complex than a single ‘gay gene’ — this particular segment of DNA was found to be neither sufficient nor necessary to make men gay.

Similarly, it is possible that exposure to hormones in the womb influences an individual’s sexual orientation. Although the development of genitalia has clear genetic causes (the “sex-determining region” of DNA on the Y chromosome), the development of male and female brains is thought to be determined by exposure to sex hormones such as testosterone. Moreover, the determination of the genitalia and brain development occur at different intervals during pregnancy, suggesting that they could be influenced independently, and result in diversity in sexual orientation.

It’s also important to consider how social effects might influence sexual orientation. This is perhaps best exemplified by the Papua New Guinean Sambia tribe, who believe that all men transition through an age of homosexuality before becoming heterosexual later in life.

Indeed, researchers found that individual’s sexual orientation did change with age, but any specific social causes are likely to be extremely complex and difficult to identify.

Like all of science, we should approach the debate about the causes of sexual orientation with scepticism and open-mindedness. Most important, however, is that we don’t allow science to be manipulated for political reasons; sexual orientation is not a problem to be corrected.

For more spectacular science, please visit bangscience.org or pick up a copy Friday 4th Week George Gillett

In an industry which focuses on women’s appearances and comes under fire from some quarters for being anti-feminist, I was interested to hear Steinherr’s thoughts on whether glossy magazines and beauty can ever equate with modern feminism. Steinherr’s take was certainly refreshing, “I would never label myself a feminist or not a feminist. I have an issue with labels. For someone to say ‘I’m not a feminist’ or say ‘I am a feminist’ is redundant.”

Surely, however, that is still arguing for gender equality? “Yes, I mean, I’m never going to say ‘a man isn’t allowed do this’ or ‘a woman shouldn’t do this’. But I think it’s about being a good human being and standing up for yourself. It’s about having an inbuilt censor for what’s right and wrong, related to labels.”

We then moved on to chatting about Steinherr’s battle with her weight, something about which she is extremely forthcoming.

“I always knew I was overweight and I wasn’t happy about that but then, as part of a Glamour feature, we had a nutritionist in and the results came back saying I was borderline obese. I just went ‘this is it. That’s not healthy.’”

Steinherr then began a journey on which

she managed to lose over three stone and also began to conquer her food demons — all in the public eye as part of an extended Glamour feature. It was this, she says, that kept her going, “When the first issue came out, the number of letters we got was the most letters we’ve ever received — I literally burst into tears. The kind of thing that people wrote to me, it was that which gave me the strength. I never left anything out, I really wrote what I felt and what a failure I felt in that area of my life because I couldn’t control my eating. When you have a weight issue it’s not necessarily a food issue, but an emotional one. Your problem is not a piece of cake, it’s why you want the entire cake.

Having just a green juice is not going to solve your problems.”

Steinherr is a woman who defies assumptions, is passionate about what she does and forthright in what she thinks. She leaves me with one notably poignant comment. She says, “It’s amazing if you can be both smart and intelligent and interested in beauty and makeup at the same time. It’s not a contradiction, it just makes you a more interesting person. You’re like a superwoman”

14 | Lifestyle

Bexistentialism

Life is tough for this second year

“L

ook at them! It’s like the Titanic all over again!” I say, as my friend and her non-Mertonian boyfriend stand in the Porters’ Lodge, in subfusc, frozen as the porter chants, “Sorry, no Bod card, no entry.” Time is ticking, as my hand holds the door open, metres away from a quad of backwardswalking, port-drinking Mertonians saving the universe. “Run!” she cries, grabbing her boyfriend and throwing herself through the doorway.

And they are gone, into the early morning air, port bottles thrust open as they run.

For those of you who do not know the event I am referring to, it is the Merton Time Ceremony, an hour spent laughing at how hilariously ironic we are.

A week before Merton Time Ceremony we must apply for permission, if we wish to host a party. I was hoping not to accentuate the Merton stereotype, but that’s that plan out of the window. Approval achieved, and the day arrives. I hurriedly make paper chains out of torn up Yellow Pages, heap cups on the side,

“

Dribbling people clutch onto their dignity-destroying mixes and begin the dispute over music (Pink Floyd vs Les Mis, Chet Faker vs vintage pop).

A wine-bottle-posing-as-vase sits on the side, holding dying flowers.

The same housemate who last week flirted with sincerity has doused those flames; once more all is “far too hipster”. 8.30pm. People trickle in.

Nervous eyes flick from watches to faces. Dribbling people clutch onto their dignity-destroying mixes. And then we are bombarded. A boy struts past my ground-floor room, tossing his empty bottle into my bin. “You haven’t put it in the recycling!” I cry.

“You, COME BACK AND PUT IT IN THE RIGHT BIN.” By 2am I am a sobered drunk, observing. A friend who has vacated many dance floors with his urge to spew, delicately chooses a quad corner next to my tutor’s office. Sides of the quad are held by drunken wars and tears, voices projected into each other’s ears. My Australian-JewishGrad-Friend is deified, drunk girls stroking his alternative and chic arms as he looks on. Nearby, a fresher is led over to drink some water.

Tableaus spill from stone to stone.

I realise I have never been the most sober at an event. I am unsurprised the next morning when I hear that a fresher told my housemate that I seem a “grumpy bitch”.

She’s not the only person a resting bitch face haunts.

Luke’s Bar g of the We ain ek Party Rings for a quid in Sainsbury’s !!!

Cherwell | 31.10.14

Fit College

tz a C St

Queen’s 42

Ma ns fie ld

% J e su s 5 8 %

Poppy Simmons and Gus Jones

Miranda Stock and Paddy Ferguson

Catz’ coy gaze or Mansfield’s classy couple? Who’s the fittest? You decide!

WORD ON THE QUAD

Think you’ve got what it takes? Email lifestyle@cherwell.org to enter the famously fierce competition

HUMANS OF OXFORD

During an open-mic poetry event: “You could be excused for thinking we’re at a Cowboys and Indians themed bop.”

“#lashtag with Hedwig”

Patrick, Porter at St Hugh’s

You seem to love the students here, but can they be a bit of a pain?

I get a lot of people locking themselves out. One guy locked himself out, came to me for the spare key, then 10 minutes later he came back because he’d locked the spare key in his room as well.

These could be the leaders of tomorrow... seriously?

What do you do to pass the time when it’s a bit quiet? And given it’s St. Hugh’s I imagine it gets pretty quiet...a lot.

Talk to students. And if there aren’t any students I’ll call them up. Other than that I just watch a lot of YouTube.

Sum up being a porter in 3 words.

Best job ever.

Kebab van queue

3 Seco0

nd What’s the best thing about being a porter? Int er vie The people you meet, the students, the guests... w I even met the Duke of Cambridge the other week!

om o R 1

10

“You asked me once, what was in Room 101. I told you that you knew the answer already. Everyone knows it. The thing that is in Room 101 is the worst thing in the world.”

O’Brien

The far-reaching kebab van queue is a strange phenomen because it is unlikely that you’ll remember the next day quite how much it upset you.

However, in that moment, when we realise our kebab is approximately half an hour away, we experience the familiar sinking feeling. It is the club aftermath: akin to the moment the lights turn on at the end of the night.

You suddenly see the luminous cheese floor and drunkenness of your fellow clubees in all its grimy detail. The neverending queue means bad chat up lines, weirdly placed aggression, over-keen public displays of affection, sweatedthrough club clothes… all intensified under the glaring lights of the kebab van.

Illustration: Mirren Kessling

“The reason why cities like Oxford and Cambridge have

As a national survey reveals that OX1 is the worst post code in the country for bike thef John Moss of Check That Bike talks to C+ about bicycle theft in Oxford

J

ohn Moss, owner of website Check That Bike, which works with police forces across the country to recover stolen bikes, has recently completed a survey of over 92,000 bike thefts in England and Wales between May 2013 and April 2014. Taking government statistics, Moss identified the worst post codes for bike theft across the country — the worst being Oxford post code OX1.

Speaking to C+ about bike theft, Moss suggested, “There is a crime cycle in places where there is a high student population. The reason why cities like Oxford and Cambridge have such high levels of bike theft is the student population. Naturally, cities with student populations have a high demand for cheap, used bikes. This means that there is a market for stolen goods of this sort.”

C+ questioned John Moss on the surprisingly high bike theft rate in Oxford — higher even than London, “Oxford does not have a dedicated task force for dealing with bike theft. In London, there is a dedicated cycle task force, which will go out of their way in order to get your bike back. To some extent this can also account for Oxford’s high bike theft rate.”

On to the issue of bike recovery and dealings with the police, Moss told C+, “I understand the national statistic for bike recovery is around four percent. Often when police recover bikes, they are unable to give them back.

Somtimes this is because the theft simply hasn’t been reported, so there is no record of it. Other times, people have not recorded their frame numbers, so police are unable to confirm that the bike belongs to them. So I cannot emphasise enough the importance not only of reporting it if your bike is stolen, but of recording your frame number.”

We turn to the statistics on the bike theft reports across the country; while Home Office statistics suggest that across the country as a whole, about 75% of people do not bother to report their bikes being stolen, C+’s survey sug-

gests that the significant majority of Oxford students who experience bike theft do report it to the police. Remarking on the discrepancy, Moss told C+, “Whilst the police are generally well-meaning they can’t cope with the level of minor crime they are currently seeing, leaving victims feeling abandoned and practically legalising some crimes. I suspect you see a

“

Cities with large student populations have a high demand for used bikes higher percentage reporting it for one of two reasons; your survey sample is younger and thus are less likely to have had a negative experience with the police, or because students’ bike details are registered with their colleges it makes reporting it worthwhile.”

“It’s also the case that a lot of people nationally consider it a minor crime; people don’t care that much about their bikes, they feel that the police won’t take it seriously. When they’ve reported a bike theft previously, they might be less likely to report it because they didn’t feel the police took it seriously the last time.”

Moss leaves some final advice for students, “My advice would be to buy the best lock that you can afford. Always find an immovable object to lock it to, even when in halls of residence. Most bikes are stolen from private property, so even off the street ensure that you take the time to put your lock on your bike. If you can, take it inside.”

Student bike registration and insurance Is your bike registered with the police?

Yes 23.4%

Don’t Know 7%

No 69.6% Don’t know 0.5%

Don’t know 9.4% Yes 14%

No 27.1% Yes 72.4%

Is your bike registered with your college?

No 76.6% Is your bike insured against theft?

Which of Oxford’s neighb

Number of reported bike theft (January - A

North

142 Centre

433 East

178 IN GATHERING the statistics behind this investigation, C+ spoke to 232 students across Oxford’s colleges about their attitudes and experiences of bike theft. A noteworthy 19% of bike owners (or former bike owners) who took part in our survey reported having experienced a bike theft in Oxford. This would mean that, according to C+ statistics, a significant 13.8% of Oxford students have experienced a bike theft during their time at university.

Theft victims’ responses were understandably negative, although the circumstances of the different thefts varied. One respondent recalled, “I brought this sweet bike with me up from home and had so much fun riding it around Oxford for a grand total of two days before I came out of a lecture in Exam Schools and found it gone. I had locked it up outside Queen’s and it was stolen in broad daylight, in the space of an hour.”

They continued, “It was devastating. I had to walk to lectures for two weeks after that, and for the entire duration of each walk I’d be seething with rage.”

However, another respondent commented, “I locked up my bike outside my college, not locked to anything and with a cheap-ish lock, and left it for about a week. I pretty much couldn’t have done it worse. When I realised it was gone, I felt like the biggest idiot.”

C+’s survey also revealed a wide variety of experiences with regard to police treatment of

bike theft cases. Most responses were positive, although they reflect a low recovery rate; as one respondent recalled, “I could not provide a more specific time that my bike was stolen and so there was nothing more that could be done.

Communication was really good though, and

“

When I realised it was gone, I felt like the biggest idiot they always rang me back at the times they said they would.”

Another recounted, “I reported the theft to the police soon afterwards. They were helpful; the woman dealing with the case rang me to say they were trying to find CCTV footage, and later rang me again to say there was no footage of that area, and that there was little chance of the bike being recovered.”

However, a number of students expressed reservations. “The Police don’t seem to be doing anything to counter bike theft in the area”, reported one student, whose bike was stolen from outside their house. Another complained, “the police took my details but never called me back.”

Investigation: Bike Theft such high levels of bike theft is the student population”

ft, C+ looks into student experiences and attitudes towards the crime and preventing it

bourhoods are worst hit?

ts in Oxford by neighbourhood August 2014)

Bike theft in Oxford: the student experience

19%

Percentage of bikeowning students who told C+ they have been a victim of bike theft in Oxford

North East

97

6.3%

Barton & Risinghurst 8

Victims who told C+ that their bikes were recovered after being stolen

Cowley

69

South East 37

68.8%

Victims who told C+ that they had reported their bike theft to the police

Source: www.police.uk

Commenting on C+’s findings, Inspector Andy Thompson, of Oxford Central and North Neighbourhood, explained, “Our enforcement work has been around identifying the thieves and the handlers and bringing them to justice.

This is done by seeking every opportunity to investigate a report and identifying the offender.

All reports of bike thefts are investigated and, when identified, offenders are arrested.”

He continued, “So far this year we are seeing a further 8% reduction in bike thefts — 40 fewer offences — compared to the year before.”

A spokesperson for Oxford University Security Services likewise pointed out that “reported bike theft from University property has actually dropped significantly in the past year.”

Of the students surveyed who claimed to have experienced bike theft, only slightly over 6% reported that their bike had been returned to them. However, another respondent, who traced their missing bike to a student at another college, took a rather more uncompromising approach, declaring, “I will make sure that student is rusticated.”

When asked to remark on the precautions that they take against theft, the vast majority of students told C+ that they use a D-lock (or equivalent) to deter thieves. As one student pointed out, “Ideally, spend at least £30 on a D-lock… Even if it’s just your old bike from the shed, that £30 is the difference between having your cheap bike, and walking the long way

back and buying another bike, which, in Oxford, will cost far more than £30.” Oxford University Security Servies told C+ that they offer students significantly discounted D-Locks.

C+ also uncovered a considerable trend in students who reported either intentionally vandalising their bikes to deter thieves, or who actively chose to ride a cheap bike. “I have now fucked my bike up,” one student recalled, “which included painting it pink and sanding off all paint.” Another similarly remarked, “I have an old bike, covered in paint and with my postcode written on.” One respondent reported that they own two bikes, one “better”, and one “cheap”, and each has a different lock. Likewise, another told C+, “My bike was bought in a charity auction, is thus very worn and probably not worth stealing.”

Despite otherwise appearing to be consciousn of bike theft as an issue amongst students, C+ nevertheless found that while most students register their bikes with their colleges, the vast majority of students reported that they had neither registered their bikes with police, nor had insured their bikes against theft.

A small minority of students admitted a more lackadaisical approach to bike security on the whole. As one respondent put it, “I have a lock — sometimes. I leave it at home a lot. I usually keep my bike in an alleyway behind an occasionally-unlocked door. I enjoy the risk. I get a kick out of it.”

Quick Facts Percentage of students who told C+ that they own a bike in Oxford

964

72%

Total number of bikes reported stolen across Oxford between January and August 2014

Percentage of Oxford students as a whole who have experienced bike theft

13.8%

Lifestyle | 19

31.10.14 | Cherwell

Old Tom is monkeying around Ching Lee is unimpressed by an iconic Oxford pub’s take on Thai food

A

fter having passed the unassuming Old Tom on St. Aldates one time too many times, I finally decided to treat myself and go for a Tuesday evening post-essay crisis dinner. Much to my surprise, I discovered that aside from the usual pub grub they also sell Thai food in a restaurant at the back.

I must admit that my expectations were low. After all, it serves Thai cuisine in a British pub, and fusion is difficult to pull off. However, this is the not the restaurant’s aim. There is no attempt to blend the two cultures together, which is reflected in the separate name given to the restaurant (The Monkey and Me) and in their menu, where pub food like fish and chips and sausage and mash simply co-exist alongside Thai food.

I’m not sure if it’s an attempt at post-modernism or just some way of trying to make another quick buck off the student market, but it was admittedly relatively busy when I visited.

It’s fine to divide the space of the pub between the bar area at the front and the restaurant tucked away at the back, as long as the ser-

“

The service and atmosphere were appallingly bad vice you expect from a restaurant comes with the expected, steeper price.

But despite the fact that we were waited upon and billed an obligatory service charge, we weren’t shown to our seats, and our waiter did not suggest any drinks.

The staff did not seem familiar with the Thai meal names on the menu, which is forgivable (just) but hardly shows a great passion for the food. Since there are so many international students, it does seem to be quite poor that

they can’t even pronounce the names.

Blunders aside, our orders were taken, the price depending not on the dish but on which meat you choose. My friend and I both chose the pork (which is £7.95). As for the dishes, it was Pad Kee Mau for me (fried ho fun noodles with chilli paste, chillies, Thai basil, and vegetables), and Pad Khing for my friend (stir fried with fresh ginger, vegetables, and spring onions).

I also ordered Thai iced tea (£2.50), which I had luckily spotted on one of the blackboards, since the menu had no drinks listed beside the food. The tea was served in a tall glass as I expected, and was the classic cloudy amber colour. It did taste quite weak, with the spices not competing hard enough with the general sweetness.

Since we only ordered two dishes, we had chosen a table of appropriate size: a small one in the corner next to the bar, with an old armchair on one side. I soon realised that an armchair is not ideal to dine in. The Pad Khing’s sauce looked watery and thin but was bursting with the taste of fresh ginger. The Pad Kee Mau’s noodles were perfectly al dente, with a strong spicy kick on the palate. Both dishes were served with an abundance of tender pork pieces. This was good, given that the meat was the main thing we were paying for.

We enjoyed the rest of the meal to the music of Eva Cassidy and Elvis, which allowed us to concentrate on the food instead of trying to get ‘that song’ out of our heads when we left the restaurant. However, like many other aspects of the Old Tom, the music felt incredibly out of place at a Thai restaurant in a traditional English pub.

All in all, it was a mixed experience. The food — the most important element of dining out — was tasty and reasonably priced. The menu is only roughly £1 more per meal than Angrid Thai, and after multiple annual subject dinners at that restaurant for three years, I have to admit I prefer the more authentic food here at Old Tom. It’s just slightly disappointing that the Monkey and Me is not as cheeky, friendly, and naughty as its name suggests. It is more apologetic — for not having chopsticks or a dessert menu — than confident. It offers half-hearted service, and it does not experiment with the cuisine, although it is in a good position to do so (what with the high percentage of international students studying here and tourists visiting Christ Church opposite). So for those who are skeptical about the quality of Thai food served in a pub, you should try it before judging it too harshly. However, holistically, this was not a great experience. The service and atmosphere were appallingly bad, and I honestly can’t see that I will ever be going back.

Recipe of the

Week

Tamago Kake Gohan

T

his is a fairly standard Japanese breakfast and is well-known and well-loved throughout Japan. If you have a rice cooker, it will give a much better result, but if not and you’re hungover and don’t want to wait then those Uncle Ben’s plain rice sachets aren’t too bad as a substitute. Just make sure the rice is extremely hot before adding the egg. The main thing is to check you get eggs with a “Lion’s Quality” mark.

This means they are pasteurised and are much less likely to give you food poisoning.

This is the perfect comfort food for those left broken-hearted after a fruitless night in the hallowed halls of Shark End.

Ingredients: 1 small bowl of white, short grain rice 1 pasteurised egg To taste: Scallions Dashi Nori Bacon Soy sauce Method: 1. Spoon the rice into the bowl as quickly as possible.

2. Make a well in the centre of the rice.

3. Immediately crack the egg into the well.

4. Add scallions, dashi, nori, bacon, and/or soy sauce to taste.

Cocktails with Cai A complicated old-school favourite hangover cure with a murky history is this week’s drink of choice!

In true Oxford student fashion, this week, I am braving what has been dubbed by some as ‘the world’s most complex cocktail’ — the Bloody Mary.

A favourite world-round as a reputed hangover cure and Sex and the City-esque staple of brunches everywhere, it is the array of potential flavourings that make this cocktail a tricky one. The official version calls for dashes of Worcestershire Sauce, Tabasco and salt and pepper. However, English eccentrics amongst you might insist on horseradish sauce, while some cocktail professionals swear by celery salt — whatever that is. The main thing is to make sure that you use decent vodka because bad vodka can ruin any cocktail.

The plot thickens once we turn to the cocktail’s history, with three different bars claiming ownership of the drink.

I’m tempted to agree with that of George Jessel, whose version, according to a gossip columnist back in 1930s New York, consisted of ‘half tomato juice, half vodka’, a ratio reserved for the most hastily arranged of pre-

Bar Review: Trinity

drinks (and alcoholics).

Howsoever it came about, this fearsome cocktail is certainly an enduring favourite, and you will probably succeed in finding it in most cocktail bars.

If in need of a morning pick-me-up, the Grand Café serves it from opening at 9am, a perfect pre-lecture tonic to help you through Exam Schools monotony (I’ll be there with you).

Although Wikipedia urges readers not to consider the Bloody Mary a hangover cure, it does helpfully note that “the alcohol only numbs the discomfort”. With that in mind, I cannot recommend this week’s cocktail highly enough.

6 measures tomato juice 3 measures vodka 1 measure lemon juice Assorted flavourings – be creative!

L

33222

ife is very stressful, especially at Oxford. As someone who enjoys a nice cold beer at exactly 5.30pm to round off the working day, I was deeply upset to find the bar at Trinity just opening at 6pm.

What are Trinitarians doing at this hour of the day? My partner-in-crime and I were the only ones in ‘The Beer Cellar’ and, until an hour later, when a whole bunch of elderly people came in. At one point the ratio of staff to customers (us) was two-to-one. Needless to say, it was lacking in atmosphere.

Apart from the sheer emptiness of the place, first impressions were good. To get down to the bar you take some M.C. Escheresque stairs and when you get there the place looks like the Slytherin Common Room which is, of course, the best way for any bar to look. And if I’m honest, this is, I

“

This is the antiBalliol; not everyone is welcome believe, the closest I’ve been to finding an Illuminati meeting place in Oxford, being a small, underground old room made out of stone. The vaulted ceilings are, of course, aesthetically pleasing and the way the place has been set up is clever for a small-ish space, with enough room at the bar, but also enough room to sit on the hideous brown lino sofa benches.

Apparently Trinity bops take place here but to be honest, their bops must be pretty poorly attended/tame as fuck since this room is definitely not big enough to hold a whole college. There is a free table football table, which is a nice touch. There’s also one of those pub quiz machines which honestly confuses me because it is just so incongruous in its beautiful surroundings. Who on earth plays them in a college bar when you can actually talk to actual people?

The bar staff are very friendly and helpful and the range of beers, wines, and cocktails on offer is huge. There’s even a printed list of drinks which are all decently priced, with a pint costing £2.50. But, to be honest, this huge range seemed slightly unnecessary, seeing that there is literally no one here predrinking before a big weekday club night.

My beer is well pulled and has a great head, which is a depressingly unusual achievement in a college bar. The main issue, I guess, is that this bar is designed for Trinitarians and there’s actually a sign saying that non-Trinitarians cannot be in the Beer Cellar without a Trinitarian, so I guess they want to keep the riff-raff (aka me) out.

If I hadn’t been with my Trinity partnerin-crime I doubt I would have been able to find the bar, seeing as there is nothing to point you in the right direction. I think it’s meant to be this way. This is the anti-Balliol bar; not everyone is welcome. The fact that it’s so hard to get in, yet is such a good bar, makes it all the more bizarre that actual members of Trinity don’t utilise their own bar. As a college bar it really is not that bad, it’s just that non-Trinitarians aren’t exactly made welcome.

PHOTO

Old Cobbled Pathways

Natasha Gillies takes to the streets of Prague

FASHION Fashion Matters

How to Wear: A/W14 Knitwear

The weather’s getting colder, the leaves are falling, and we are safely into a cold,crisp autumn. There’s no better way of getting into the season than cosying up in ontrend knits as you go about your day. Whether you’re camped out on the sofa, going to and from lectures, or off out to dinner in the evening, we’ve got the A/W14 knit for you.

A big hit for autumn is the oversized knit — comfy and chic all rolled into one. Seen on the catwalk at Michael Kors and Marc Jacobs for A/W14, these are easy to wear. Pair an oversized jumper with skinny jeans, or a smart pencil skirt for a more formal look. If you’re feeling adventurous, go instead for oversized knitted trousers, teamed with a tailored jacket and heeled boots. When in doubt, opt for a chunky, oversized scarf, to add to any outfit.

Animals and Fashion: Niluka Kavanagh discusses the complex issues surrounding the use of fur

The sweater dress is also popular this season, as seen in the collections by Helmut Lang and Calvin Klein. This is the perfect warm and cosy wear for the coming months. This slouchy grey number form River Island (£40) is perfect. The loose fit, stepped hem, and dropped shoulder make for a relaxed and comfortable fit, and it can be dressed up or down as needed. Wear with jeans or leggings and a cosy scarf, or dress it up with tights and long boots, a smart coat and a black leather tote.

D

espite the decline over recent years, real fur is making a comeback in the world of fashion. Barely ten years after the ‘rather go naked’ campaign, headed by supermodels Kate Moss and Naomi Campbell, fur has returned to the catwalk, with designers Tom and Christopher Ford both partaking in the trend. The inclusion of animal skins and fur in fashion continues to be a matter of controversy. There is no disputing the fact that every year, thousands of animals are killed in order to produce a variety of products, from woollen sweaters to snakeskin bags. But what does this mean for us?

As consumers of fashion, it is hardly an area we can ignore. What is the real price of that luxurious fur coat you have been saving up for?

This is highly controversial and contentious area. After all, most of us eat meat without question. According to gov. uk, 1,018,000 sheep were slaughtered for their meat in January alone this year —

“

The debate lies in the treatment of the animals, rather than the use of fur itself significantly more than the number killed just for their wool. Someone who is happy to eat lamb, but refuses to buy a jumper made from lambs-wool might be called a hypocrite. We even tend to prefer animalderived products. For example, ‘real’ leather products frequently demand a premium price, a cost many of us are willing to bear, over their pleather equivalents.

However, the debate arguably lies in the treatment of the animals rather than the actual use of fur itself. Indeed, PETA have given some horrific reports on the treatment of animals, with many being skinned alive or kept in miniscule cages.

This is particularly true for places outside the UK. In China, there are no penalties instilled for the abuse of animals. Singer P!NK, meanwhile, (a high profile advocate of PETA) has criticised the wool industry in Australia, although she has subsequently backed down.

Of course, the issue doesn’t lie simply with fur. Designer Stella McCartney, for example, has spoken out against the cruelty inflicted on animals in the leather industry.

However, We Are Fur, one of the leading companies that supports the use of real fur, claims that the majority of animals used for their fur do not suffer, with the condition of their coat being “one of the first and clearest indications of the care that the animal is receiving”.

We cannot know what really happens behind the scenes. But if we cannot be sure how these animals are treated, then perhaps it is better not to buy, or support, the use of real fur in fashion. There is often little difference in appearance between real and faux fur. Moreover, choosing the latter will save a considerable amount of money. A good policy is probably ‘if in doubt, leave it out’; that is, leave it on the hanger.

6

7

As a carry-over from the summer season, the embellished knit is still wearable this autumn. Opt for a subdued colour scheme, and let the detailing shine through.

Alternatively, go for all-out glamour and pair your embellished jumper with a sparkly skirt and killer heels. Try this gorgeous Topshop (£46) jumper to start off with — the subdued embellishment and neutral cream hue mean that it will complement any outfit and every style.

Suit and Tie After a recent shopping expedition with a friend, hunting for the perfect pair of boots, we soon stumbled upon the “BabyLove Boot” – a pair of boots which look good enough to wear out but are sturdy enough to resist the walk in to town / a night in town / the immeasurable amount of drinks which will inevitably be spilt on them.

Beginners: The most crucial item you need to own in the coming months is a pair of chelsea boots, ideally a pair both in black and brown. If you need to choose, think long and hard.

This pair from H&M for £59.99 come in both black and brown suede, offering a flexibility to match your classic style. Black chelsea boots can easily swing from being paired with black skinny jeans or with a slim fit suit — just remember to keep them clean and polished.

Perhaps more realistic for the wintery weather about to come, these military boots from River Island (£65.00) are ideal. They are still real leather so make sure you look after them, but they are more likely to withstand water and/or spilt drinks. Use these boots to finish off a more relaxed look — slim fit jeans, a printed tee or chequered shirt. Remember they are ‘military’ inspired boots, so try to refrain from pairing them with camouflage, or skinny jeans for that matter.

Fashionista: For those who wish to make a bigger statement, these literal blue suede shoes are certain to achieve it. Courtesy of Paul Smith (£195.00), they might be too expensive to grace the floors of any night club, but you can rest assured that cheaper versions should soon be available.

Regardless, a pair of colourful, bright boots can add an element of individuality without being over bearing, especially when paired with a relatively monochrome outfit.

We couldn’t leave seasonal knits without mentioning the old staple, the fair isle jumper. There are so many amazing and great quality versions of this classic out there, so get searching.

Need a bit of help? For a fairly purse-friendly price, Superdry have a great range, like this cosy crew jumper in the classic style (£49.99).

The purpose of the fairisle knit is comfort, so don’t hesitate to wear your favourite stretchy jeans, but also don’t be scared to pair with a basic a-line skirt.

There’s also an abundance of many different textured knits popular this autumn! From the fluffy jumper to the ‘popcorn’ knit, there’s something for everyone!

Ribbed knits complement a smart outfit. Try a close-fitting style, in an earthy colour. Fluffy jumpers are the epitome of comfy autumn/winter style. For a bit of a twist on the fluffy jumper, try this cropped number from Topshop in blue and cream (£25).

The colour adds class, whilst the cropped length adds style. Team it with basic high-waisted jeans.

Beyond the High Street Cherwell recommends that rowers and non-rowers alike grab a copy of Rowing Blazers by Oxford's very own Jack Carlson. Charting the history of blazers over the course of a century and the individual story behind rowing club blazers, it is extremely informative. Tie to that the beautiful photography of F.E. Castleberry, and you have a coffee table book which is both entertaining and tied to your Oxford career.

Follow them on twitter @RowingBlazers

Oxford Fashion Week — the biannual highlight of the Oxford fashion community kicks off on Monday 3rd November (4th Week). There will be a multitude of events, ranging from the opening lingerie show hosted by Malmaison to the eagerly anticipated Birds of Paradise event hosted at the Oxford Museum of Natural History. It’s sure to be the highlight of this Michaelmas.

Check out their website oxfordfashionweek.com for tickets and our past reviews at Cherwell.org

Alexander Wang x H&M. Due to be launched Wednesday of 4th Week, this collaboration is the first time a New York designer has collaborated with the Swedish brand. Check out the interactive film online to have a look at the collection — inspired by both sportswear and urban wear, the monochrome collection is almost too good to be true. The ladies slim fit bomber jacket is the highlight of the collection (so far).

22 | Fashion

HALLOWED BE Models: Jasmine Ko and Maddy Walker Stylist & Photographer: Rebecca Borthwick

31.10.14 | Cherwell

31.10.14 | Cherwell

Fashion | 23

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’s theme...

Th

i

CULTURE

sw

Sin

Sin City: graphic in more than one way

Fergus Morgan discusses the enduring appeal of Frank Miller’s 13-part neo-noir comic book series

I

n the 1991 Fifth Anniversary Special Edition of Dark Horse Presents, the flagship title of Dark Horse Comics, Frank Miller first presented Sin City, a fictional American metropolis populated by corrupt policeman, sadistic serial killers, muscle-bound heavies and the occasional principled anti-hero. Oh, and scores of voluptuous “dames”.

The series of neo-noir graphic novels that ensued overflow with every nameable vice. Sin City is a cesspit of crime, prostitution, adultery, corruption and more besides. Miller’s “yarns”, as he calls them, are packed to the gills with sex, drugs, violence and immorality. And they’re fucking brilliant.

His first story, The Hard Goodbye, was released over thirteen issues and followed Marv, a hulking ex-con, in his rage-filled pursuit of the cannibalistic murderer of Goldie, a beautiful prostitute with whom he shared one wild night. There is enough gratuitous bloodshed to rival even the goriest Tarantino movie, including a particularly grisly moment in which a man has his arms and legs sawn off, before being fed to a ravenous dog.

The Sin City series has won a multitude of accolades, including seven Eisner awards — the graphic novel equivalent of the Oscars — and it has been enormously popular with comic book, ahem, enthusiasts and the wider public for over two decades. It inspired the 2005 film starring Bruce Willis and Mickey Rourke (which you probably thought this article was going to be about), as well as this year’s A Dame To Kill For. But why does it have such perennial appeal?

The answer is partly because of Miller’s remarkably evocative artwork. Although later artwork contained flashes of colour, the early books in the series were drawn entirely in black and white. Miller draws deeply on the visual starkness of 1940s film noir. Films like those of John Huston and Otto Preminger offer a timeless grace that, despite Sin City’s decidedly grittier themes, translates well onto Miller’s work.

In The Hard Goodbye, Miller presents a set of arresting images that embrace this contrast.

in psychological sophistication, yet they are effective nonetheless. They prey on simple emotions, yes, but certainly not shallow ones.

Miller’s text is similarly emotive, capturing Sin City with an appropriate grittiness. His dialogue is engagingly naturalistic, but stylised

“

In Sin City, one could cheat, fight, snort or fuck one’s way through life without judgement

Marv, the tempestuous protagonist, lies sprawled across a heart-shaped bed with a naked woman curled against his chest. Now he marches the streets of the city dressed in a long raincoat, collar turned up against the “cold, mean torrent”. Now he stealthily approaches a farmhouse in the moonlight, the windmill above him turning slowly in the gentle breeze.

These are striking scenes, the colourless approach lending them an elegance — a profundity that juxtaposes the visceral content of the plot. Yet, away from the artwork, there is something about this visceral content that appeals as well; there is something undeniably alluring about the world Miller has created. In Sin City, one could indulge one’s wildest, darkest fantasies. In Sin City, one could cheat, fight, snort or fuck one’s way through life without judgement.

Miller’s novels clearly resonate with a deepseated primal instinct inside us. Psychological

repression, that cornerstone of psychoanalysis, as Freud described it, is rife in Western society.

We feel the need to stifle those impulses that stir deep inside, simply because we know the results of letting them rise will not be something society wants to see. Like Dwight, the protagonist in A Dame To Kill For, we “never let the monster out”.

It’s here that Sin City finds its niche. Psychologically, Sin City is a paradise attuned to our most repressed and sublimated desires, whether sexual, physical, or emotional. Sin City is a Mecca for those seeking glorious immorality.

Miller’s drawings play effortlessly with the reader’s imagination, satisfying and teasing: silhouettes of beautiful women, their curves visible yet forever intangible; close-ups of burly hands grasping menacing weaponry; explicit depictions of violence, both cathartic and gratuitous. These are blunt tools, lacking

to evoke primal feelings of greed, rage, lust, and envy. The protagonist’s thoughts, however, are related in too prosaic a way to be termed grandiloquent, but have a decidedly rhetorical feel to them.

“I’ve been framed for murder and the cops are in on it. But the real enemy, the son of a bitch who killed the angel lying next to me, he’s out there somewhere, out of sight, the big missing piece that’ll give me the how and the why and a face and a name and a soul to send screaming into hell.” Vituperative and hardly poetical yes, but there is an undeniable vigour — an oratorial quality — to lines like these that correlates effectively with the primal urges that permeate the novel.

One must acknowledge the skill with which Miller draws these strands together. The artwork, plotlines, concept, and text all meld seamlessly to create an alluring and impactful whole that inevitably engenders instinctive emotions. In truth, it is these emotions that the novels rely on for their success.

To read a Frank Miller comic is truly an immersive experience and the Sin City series, with its gratuitous sex, drugs violence, is as engagingly visceral as they come

Top Pick

Ashmolean Live Friday Esarhaddon Friday, 7pm The Ashmolean

Friday & Saturday, 7.30pm Simpkins Lee Theatre

When the doors to Tutankhamun’s tomb were opened in 1922, Egypt fever swept the world. On 31 October 2014, LiveFriday will bring Egyptomania to the Ashmolean Museum, as 1920s glamour meets Egyptology.

Spend your Halloween in the company of some mummies....if you’re man enough, that is.

The ultimate piece of new writing, this play is part of a trilogy set in ancient Assyria and sees the king Esarhaddon battling ill health and widespread conspiracy as his empire steadily descends into turmoil. With the play’s powerful dialogue and authentic costumes, The National Theatre of Akkad truly brings this historical drama to life.

Picks of the Week

Halloween @ the Wheatsheaf Feminism in Theory & Action Conference Friday,8pm The Wheatsheaf

Saturday, 10.30am Wadham College

Lots of fancy, lots of dress. If you’re looking for a funky way to spend your Halloweeen, look no further than the Wheatsheaf, in an atmospheric alleyway off the High Street. £3 if you commit to Halloween dress up, £5 if you’re being boring.

This all-day feminist conference, held at Wadham (where else?) will be bringing in speakers on a variety of topics, ranging from gender and class, women and mental health, gendered homelessness, ecofeminism, feminist history, female refugees/ asylum seekers and more. Pragma Patel of Southall Black Sisters is just one of the speakers to have been confirmed so far.

Culture | 25

31.10.14 | Cherwell

Milestones

Cherwell picks out a key moment in cultural history. This week, Isaac Goodwin explores the origin of our concept of sin

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Cultural Hotspots Truck Store

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owley Road is home to a great many quirky nooks and crannies. But perhaps one of its most charming spots is Truck Store, nestled on the corner of Rectory Road. Oxford’s only independent music store, Truck Store sells a plethora of new and pre-owned CDs, DVDs and vinyls for anyone who still sees tangible records as a worthwhile investment. The music shop doubles up as a coffee club with the cutesy name of the Keen Bean so that you can sip away on a swirly-topped Flat White while you ponder whether to buy the stereo or mono version of Merriweather Post Pavilion.

Not only does the tiny raised platform provide the perfect place for peoplewatching of Cowley’s demographic of hipster students and drug dealers, it also sometimes becomes the setting for intimate gigs. Last week the indie folk band Dry the River played a free afternoon gig in preparation for their show at the O2 that evening, joining a string of bands including Frank Turner, Oxford’s own Stornoway, Willy Mason, and Stealing Sheep. The store even has its own annual music festival in the Oxfordshire countryside, which this year hosted The Cribs, among others.

in is a word which has been ransacked and pillaged in the modern day, used in association with ice cream, chocolate truffles, lingerie, sex toys, cocktails. Taxes on cigarettes and alcohol are ‘sin taxes’. Sin has come to refer to the pleasurable consumption of something, and at the same time, always has some sort of connotation of sex. Would you ever see anything advertised aimed at children using the word sin? No. It would simply be creepy.

It’s not that the sex is always literally there, rather that the idea is behind it, even if it has been transferred to some other bodily function. All in all, sin has become trivialised in the modern day, and maybe this is no bad thing.

But where did the idea of ‘sin’, real sin, start? Well, the simple answer is of course, when Adam and Eve ate the apple. What could be more of a turning point than the origin of sin itself, as viewed by two thousand years of Christian history? But unless you actually believe in a literal Garden of Eden, the turning point we’re after is the moment when the Fall became a Big Thing.

It certainly wasn’t always one. Sure, the Bible pretty much starts with it, right there in Genesis chapter three, but you can search the Old Testament up and down and not find another mention. The bottom line is, it didn’t matter.

It was just myth, explaining why humans are in the condition they’re in, nothing more. The sense of a fallen, sinful humanity is very Christian. Jews have no such ideas. Saul Bellow’s Herzog cuts to the truth when he says that Christians always see in the present moment “some fall from classical greatness, some cor-

Simple pres. Leon Vynehall Ghostbusters

ruption or evil to be saved from”, quite foreign to his own Jewish viewpoint.

The idea of original sin starts, really, in the letters of Paul, who saw Jesus as a “second Adam”, and one can trace the concept developing over the next three or four hundred years. It perhaps comes to a head, and is most famously associated, with St Augustine of Hippo, who developed it in, to the modern mind, a rather unappealing way. Augustine saw all humanity as tainted by the original sin of Adam and Eve, and because of this we are all damned (unless God chooses, in a predestined arbitrary sort of way, to save us).

Of course, being a Christian church father, he wasn’t content to leave it at that.

He saw this original sin as passed on through procreation; sex became, in his eyes, an evil. In fact, the evil. Rather more unappealingly, women were implicated rather more than men, as being the cause of sin as temptresses (it appeared to Augustine that women had control of their bodies, whereas men, in the most crude way, did not).

Already, sex and sin seem to have been bound together; even now, we still take it for granted that sin and sex make a natural, if outdated, pairing; hence the word being used to refer to consumable products: ‘sex sells’. But isn’t this odd? Judaism practically celebrates sex; Rabbis are of course married and should have as many children as possible.

If anything, the vague, modern concept of sin reminds us just how much our ideas have grown out of a Christian tradition, with a distinctive view of sin, springing up directly out of ‘New Testament’ times

Best of Cherwell etc.

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Extract from ‘The Beachcomber’ Beachcombing. That’s always been my hobby. To walk along the shore, to wagtch the white page of the sand, bending over and my eyes, reading — There, the scraggled tangle, and the acrid kelp, the heavy browns and greens. There the mermaid’s purse, and the carrageen.

The carapaces of scallops and clams, razorfish and cockles. The portan, that hollowedout little crablet, brittle and delicate like a smile. The lashes of gold and rose-coloured winkles, like bruising after the whip. And the plastics…

The flakes of blue packaging, the shrapnel. The perpetual braids of rope, wadded under the sand. The license plates from across the Atlantic. The washing-up bottles with oriental lettering. The packaging that tells me, walking by myself along this beach: out there, elsewhere, someone lingers. Not a message in a bottle, but on a bottle, tossed from some sanctuary ship lurching on the ocean.

Dòmhnall Iain Dòmhnallach

The Cherwell Review We’re currently accepting contributions to The Cherwell Review, our termly creative supplement. Entries may be in a variety of formats: reviews, criticism, art, photography, and creative writing, and should be roughly suited to the theme of ‘Progress’.

The deadline for submissions is Wednesday 5th week. For more information, email review@cherwell.org

The Man Jesus

Jerusalem

Saturday, 11pm The Bullingdon

Saturday, 9.15pm Phoenix Picturehouse

Tuesday, 4pm Keble O’Reilly

Wednesday - Saturday, 7.30pm Keble O’Reilly

Saunter on down to the sweat-filled environs of the Bully for a night with up-and-coming DJ, Leon Vynehall. No one knows much about this media recluse apart from his music, but apparently it’s something to be excited about! Halloween dress is optional, but encouraged.

Don’t miss out on this one-off screening of everyone’s favourite science fantasy comedy film.

Three wacky unemployed parapsychologists pursue a little private enterprise as exterminators in spook-infested New York. Of its time but still an enjoyably comedy despite the datedness.

‘Four Weddings and a Funeral’ star, Simon Callow, becomes Jesus for a night in his new oneman-show. The Sunday Telegraph described the show as “excellent, compelling, involving, intelligent… with a bit of help from the Almighty – Callow manages to pull it off, magnificently.”

Consider us convinced.

Like Beckett on speed or Coward on coke, The Bard on base or Davenant on dots, Butterworth bashes out some hard-hitting-no-nonsensequipping dialogue in his masterpiece-glance at rural England. This is gonna be big.

Picks of the Week

Cherwell | 31.10.14

26 | Arts & Books

“Avant-gardist pioneer”: examining Gerhard Richter’s abstract art

Paul Ostwald finds the lights, reflections and chromatic play as fascinating as the artist himself

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s Gerhard Richter sets foot on the polished floor of Marian Goodman’s Gallery in Soho, London, his image shivers and eventually splinters. He has come to silently inaugurate his solo exhibition that will be open to the public until 20th December. The massive installation that marks the entrance into Richter’s abstract world is a construct of seven panes of glass. Entangled and just about seven meters high, this house of cards is a magnet to the crowd that has assembled to welcome the avant-gardist pioneer back in the country’s capital.

The image of grey paintings breaks in the panes. Spreading out on the white walls of the entrance hall, the grey paintings have been part of Richter’s oeuvre since the 1970s.

One of them, laconically titled ‘double grey’, is trenched in manifold shades of grey. “Grey is no statement, it evokes neither feelings nor

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One day we won’t need pictures anymore, we will just be happy associations,” Richter wrote thirty years ago when he started painting in grey.

In stark contrast to the dazzling colours of Richter’s more recent work, they allude to the frigid atmosphere of the space. My personal guide to the more colourful second room has just turned nine. Konstantin, the son of Richter’s personal assistant, is familiar with the dignified gentleman and his art. “I like these more, they fit these rooms better,” he says pointing upwards. The series ‘Strip’ on the sec-

ond floor is a convolute of streaks of colour. At a closer range, the contours blur. “If you look at them long enough your head starts to spin.”

But the paintings fascinate not merely due to their huge dimensions and exploding colours.

Their deceiving simplicity and dynamism is a product of history. Taken from an old photograph, Richter amplifies a single snippet and mirrors it into its various shades. Then he reconnects the colours under yet another pane of glass. Nearly covering the complete wall, these paintings let reality slip for a moment. The beholder cannot get hold of their deceptive simplicity. The mind does not comprehend. “My pictures are more intelligent than me,” Richter acknowledges.

Loading the Canon Cherwell calls for new additions to the literary establishment

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he main feature of prose writing has always been its ability to reveal a character via prolonged exposure to conflict. The novel has barely diverged from this course over many years (since perhaps Don Quixote), until the earthshattering (perhaps overstated) entry of the Choose Your Own Adventure books. I remember sitting for hours with these books, noting down my resources and faithfully following the book’s path to my inevitable defeat.

The concept was simple. You’re presented with options, and every option takes you to a different path, found by going to different pages or chapters. Routes split, reconvene, and end in success or more likely defeat.

Entertaining stuff, and not your classic page-turner.

Initially the idea seems to start with an Argentinian author, Borges, whose novel Examen de la obra de Herbert Quain, published in 1941, contained 9 different possible endings, depending upon the reader’s choices. This format, of the reader changing the story simply by deciding which pages to read, was toyed around with by various experimental

Frenchmen until reaching mass-readership in the ‘70s, and becoming the height of popularity in the 1980s and ‘90s — in the form of the Choose Your Own Adventure series of books.

The idea of any child opening a book and immediately taking the role of a protagonist seems, in today’s world of first-person gaming, fairly tame, but at the time the idea of ‘you’, the reader, being the hero (of any race, gender, size or shape) and able to determine the outcome of the book simply by making wise decisions about bringing a rope into the cave or not, was a revolutionary way of interacting with literature, paralleled by the development of text-adventures on early computers.

For many, these books were a first taste of being the hero; instead of putting the reader in someone else’s shoes, they were given the shoes and went on adventures of their own. The stories were short and unsophisticated, but they felt so real because your own choices had led to the outcome at hand. As a literary form it wasn’t the highest, but as a blurring of the line between reading and playing, these stories were unique.

Sometimes, however, the colours break free and flee their precise boundaries. The series ‘Flow’ back on the ground floor bears witness to these moments. Mature and more discreet colours mark these enamel paintings on, yet again, glass pane. “I think at least one of them will break,” observes Konstantin from my left.

The fragility and vulnerability to time and human beings is apparent in the artworks of Richter, who grew up amidst the turmoil of the Second World War. He evokes memories and provokes emotions among all beholders alike.

When in 2007 Richter was commissioned to design a new 115 square metre window for the 800 year old gothic Cologne Cathedral, he created a pattern of 11,000 chromatic squares. The

following public dispute led to debates on the future of art and Catholic Church alike. Richter has become a sort of moral conscience for the modernised world. Many had therefore not expected the pre-eminent part of Modern Art to appear at his own exhibition tonight.

Wandering in through the main entrance, he appears more like the beholder than the artist.

Squishing through the mingling groups of art specialists, he heads for the second floor of the Victorian-era warehouse. He absent-mindedly shakes a few hands; the days when the crowd made him feel terribly out of place are past.

As his bodyguards channel a way through the fans, he finds shelter in the gallerist’s office.

“I don’t necessarily want to be recognised in public,” he admits. But after over fifty years in business, Richter knows about how iconic he and his works have become. When Eric Clapton sold Richter’s ‘AbstraktesBild’ (‘abstract painting’) for $34.7m in 2012, Richter had already become the world’s most expensive living artist. “These prices are lunatic and indecent,” Richter remarks. “On bad days I get the feeling that people don’t actually value the art. They pay millions in a telephone call for a picture they’ve never seen.” He is in a good mood today, although the swarm of wealthy collectors seems to dominate the group of art students.

The familiar faces set him at ease. “One day we won’t need pictures anymore, we will just be happy,” Richter infamously remarked twenty years ago. For Richter that day has not yet come, twelve more exhibitions are scheduled for 2014/15. He is busy as ever working on new ideas, “I just love being in my atelier.”

Tonight, though, he is running late for a dinner with intimate friends and colleagues.

Small groups have secluded into corners of the exhibition, phone calls are being made. Inaudibly, Gerhard Richter leaves the stage in disguise. Once again he salutes my young guide, before dispersing into London’s dark, anonymous night

“We’re all stories, in the end” Anna Zanetti is wonder-struck by The Story Museum’s ‘26 Characters’

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alk right in and clap if you believe in fairies.” This is not the jingle of a new Peter Pan — The Musical, but a sign on a door at the Story Museum. The most amazing thing is that when you walk in and clap your hands, something does happen.

The Story Museum is a registered charity active since 2003 which celebrates the power of literature, and most importantly, stories. The creed of the museum is that stories are not only for children, but for everyone. Stories can inspire, amaze, thrill, entertain, and instruct.

And this is really the feeling you get from their current exhibition, ‘26 Characters’. The exhibition features twenty-six famous authors of children literature — including Michael Morpurgo, Neil Gaiman, Terry Pratchett — dressed up as their favourite literary character and portrayed by photographer Cambridge Jones.

For each of them, the museum has a room that displays the photograph and captures the character and the setting of the book; the visitors are (gently) thrown into a world of magic and stories. Part of the exhibition is also the Dressing-up Room. The room gives you the chance to decide which character from literature you would be, and to become him/her.

Without being too much of a spoiler, I’ll just say that there is a Talking Throne involved as well. And if you think the whole thing sounds childish and not cool, I’ve seen teens having the time of their life in this room.

As one can detect, the Story Museum is like no other museum. Learning through stories is not done by looking at pictures or reading informative boards, as happens in other educational places. At the core of everything the Story Museum does is the idea of being a

place in which people ‘experience’ things, not just ‘go and see’ them. So you can recline on comfortable cushions and be told the story of Hanuman by Jamila Gavin, or have a sit in Badger’s cosy study from Wind in the Willows, or enter the bed of Wendy, Johnny, and Michael from Peter Pan. The way the exhibition approaches stories gives the visitor an immersive experience, in which objects, sounds, colours, lights, textures are all equally important in recreating the magic of literature.

We can learn from stories however old we are. Did you know that the Katherine Rundell, the youngest Fellow of All Souls, is (also) an author of children’s books? And that she would be a Wild Thing from Where the Wild Things Are? And I doubt many of you will know who Bellerophon is…

The ‘26 Characters’ exhibition proves that it is possible to learn at all ages, and that indeed this can be done while having a jolly good time. The Story Museum is a place for children and adults alike, as stories and fun are just for everyone.

Film & TV | 27

31.10.14 | Cherwell

Cine-theatre: when worlds collide

Frederick Wienand admires the accessibility of theatre on-screen

Landmarks of cinema

Amélie (2001)

Whimsy and romance were the main ingredients in Jean-Pierre Jeunet’s BAFTA-winning film about a young Parisian waitress.

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cannot but vividly recall my excitement when I discovered that David Tennant, a sometime idol of mine, was to take the titular role in Gregory Doran’s RSC production of Richard II. It had taken on an almost mythical status in my imagination; I couldn’t miss it.

I was, alas, to be callously tortured, as the tickets evaporated from the RSC website in a matter of seconds. I clicked and typed my way to the re-sale pages with feverish desperation, but the price was already three figures long and climbing before my very eyes and I was doomed to look wistfully on as five-star reviews gush from the pages of the Saturday papers — curse the social elites and journalists with their privileged access! “Go thou and fill another room in hell!”

But lo! What is this Internet advertisement hovering out of the mist of page 33 of your Google search? “RSC live, showing Doran’s Richard II in a cinema near you…” I could hardly believe my hope-starved eyes! I was going to see the production after all, and for the inconceivably reasonable price of £12, with popcorn!

I did go to see Richard II in my local Cineworld and I enjoyed it immensely, but it left me wondering whether there are some fundamental differences between the mediums of film and theatre that could never allow the stage to transfer to the screen with any real impact. The opportunities for greater accessibility not only for theatre, but opera, ballet, concerts et al are impossible to ignore.

For performances and concerts often made exclusive and unreachable by a finite number of seats or an astronomic price tag, the cinema is ideally positioned to allow prospective audiences the chance to experience what they would have missed. NT Live has broadcast to 550 cinemas in the UK and more than 1,100 venues worldwide, meaning that 3.5 million more people were able, to all intents and purposes, to go to the theatre. Could cinema be the cheap alternative to the perennial problem of expensive (and therefore exclusionary) performances?

But what exactly are we getting access to?

The camera, while undoubtedly an artistic tool in itself, imposes a distance between the audience and the stage, which simply cannot allow for the total sensory experience that productions at the Globe or the National Theatre often are.

The proximity of your body to the actors’ and

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to the stage is fundamental in the creation of something real and visceral, something that follows you from your seat as you leave the auditorium. What’s more, a camera’s eye is inevitably selective, whereas yours may roam about the stage and set with abandon. When filmed, little, but delightful details that form part of the stage-play’s charm are missed as

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While it will never be the same, theatre in the cinema is something else altogether the camera swings and switches between the leads. The film cannot but select and deselect on the audience’s behalf: an inevitability that enriches film, but diminishes the theatrical production.

That said, the immediacy is not dissipated between the screen and the eye; it changes.

Cameras can zoom in and catch fragments, twitches and beads of sweat that our eyes would miss. We are now, in a perverse way, closer to the actor and yet further from the production, which is no longer delivered as a total and ever-present picture, but as a series of close and intense visions, interspersed with wider glimpses of the stage.

For a particularly choice example of this technique, go to Elliot Levey’s tight-lipped and drawn Don Jon in Digital Theatre’s broadcast of Josie Rourke’s Much Ado About Nothing.

I would, therefore, go so far as to say that, while it will never be the same, theatre in the cinema is something else altogether. Cine-theatre, when done well, combines the intensity of a well-held camera angle, with the raw power of a live theatre performance.

And if cinemas get the chance to broadcast some ‘alternative content’ and more people than ever are able to witness the ineffable greatness of David Tennant, then long may it continue

On cherwell.org this week...

n the website this week, Kristin Grogan finds Pride to be “a movie that is as hilarious as it is serious, as funny as it is moving, and it will leave you either in well-earned tears, or on your feet in solidarity with the film’s heroes, with fists clenched and raised”. If that doesn’t inspire you to go see it, then it’s likely nothing will and you’re probably a homophobe or Cymrophobe anyway.

Jennie Han also kicks off our new feature,

‘Best films for’, with her favourite films of all time. The first in a series of carefully chosen selections, her choices are pretty fantastic, and liable to cultivate much discussion.

Spoiler alert: Woody Allen features, and they might not all be in English.

We also had a review of a documentary about Hitler’s secret drug addiction, which was found to be an original and captivating angle on someone who has otherwise been documented to death.

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mélie was a masterclass in idealisation. The film’s full French title, Le Fabuleux Destin d’Amélie Poulain, is as fantastical as the film itself: a perfect, quirky girl living in a perfect, quirky Paris chases after a boy to return his childhood memories to him and changes everyone she meets along the way for the better.

Twee doesn’t begin to cover it, but instead of descending into saccharine slush, director Jean-Pierre Jeunet embraces whimsy, because sometimes people want an escapist movie. Cue a Yann Tiersen soundtrack and a lot of characters either cute, eccentric or both. Amélie brushed off accusations of inanity and self-consciousness to be nominated for five Oscars before winning two BAFTAs and four César Awards.

Life, but not as we know it

ife Story opens with David Attenborough lounging around in the desert with some meerkats. Perfect, this is exactly the sort of thing you want from a BBC nature program, I think, especially one whose first episode promises to be about baby animals taking their ‘first steps’ in the world. I’m watching it while I’m doing the washing up, just about to make myself a cup of tea, not really interested in the meerkats, if I’m honest, but I’m enjoying the cosiness of the thing and the soothing tones of Attenborough’s voice, which has a similar effect on me to that of a large whiskey.

And then come the goslings. That was a one-clause sentence for dramatic effect, yes.

What can be so dramatic about some goslings, you ask? If you’ve seen it, you’ll know exactly what I’m on about; if you haven’t, take a minute before you open up iPlayer to remind yourself that, of course, nature isn’t all about baby meerkats frolicking in the sand — it’s about the constant struggle for survival.

We’re in Greenland, in the Orsted Dal valley, where barnacle geese bring their young into the world. Due to the constant threat of predators, they are forced to nest at the top of 400 foot high, vertical cliffs, which are pretty terrifying in themselves, especially in HD. Here are the goslings, four pathetically cute fluff-balls nestled under the wing of mother goose.

The problem is that barnacle geese only eat grass. The fundamental irony of Greenland is that there isn’t actually much grass — especially not on top of huge rock pillars. So, the ‘first steps’ of these babies, whose wings we are told are too undeveloped to work yet, involves following Mum and Dad off the edge of a cliff in search of food.

And, blindly, off they go. I’m standing in the middle of the kitchen still wearing my rubber gloves, staring at my laptop in abject horror as five helpless baby birds base-jump off a cliff. This just isn’t practical, nature, I think, as the chicks rocket towards the ground, wings desperately outstretched, slamming again and again against the

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edge of the jagged rock face to dramatic music (thanks, BBC). It’s so distressing to watch that I’m actually whimpering by this point.

My housemate (who is watching American Horror Story in the next room) has to come in and ask if I’m okay.

Two out of five of the chicks die in the fall (we see it happen!); the two chicks on the ground are visibly shaking, and there is a heart wrenching searching-for-baby-goose scene before third chick emerges from behind a pile of rubble. The little family then hobble off to safety, thank bloody god.

The hits keep on coming. The next ‘life story’, for example, features the birth of some baby praying mantises. They aren’t cute, but they’re sort of beautiful in an alien way, and the camerawork is spectacular. I’m just warming to them when they start eating each other. One of them (the protagonist?) then wins a fight with a massive spider before being eaten by another bigger mantis, possibly its mother. “Praying mantis, after all, are cannibals” says Attenborough, happily.

By mid-way through the program, even the baby meerkat is savagely devouring a huge scorpion. So, Life Story is brutal, it’s honest. But it’s also ridiculously, breathtakingly beautiful, a great deal of which has to do with the quality of the photography; I spend a great deal of it wondering if it isn’t actually just really, really good CGI. Of course it’s not; according to the ‘making of’ it’s just some very big lenses and a lot of waiting around.

This, I think, is the magic of Life Story. It’s the sort of camerawork we have come to expect from bigbudget blockbusters. The editors work wonders in creating actual plot lines, narratives, almost characters. This isn’t just nature watching: it’s a thrilling insight into some of the most dangerous, cut-throat parts of the animal world, seen in more detail than anyone would ever manage to achieve with their own eyes.

Emma Simpson

Cherwell recommends...

arvel’s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. returned to our screens last week for a blistering 45 minutes of World War Two action that pitted agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.’s precursor, the Strategic Scientific Reserve, against old enemies Hydra. The major talking point both before and after the show was Hayley Atwell’s reprisal of her role as Peggy Carter, last seen in Captain America: The First Avenger. The episode did not disappoint, with romance, deception and murder abounding.

The next installment promises to be just as gripping, as Joss Whedon’s megalodon of a franchise rolls on. It seems like aeons (and is indeed over a decade) since the likes of Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Firefly first aired, and only now is Whedon receiving the mainstream attention a TV auteur of his quality deserves. Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. gave viewers a ride rarely matched on-screen in its first season; if the second season continues in the same vein then this is one not to be missed.

Cherwell | 31.10.14

28 | Music

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North Atlantic Explorers My Father Was A Sailor

he idea behind North Atlantic Explorers’ new concept album My Father Was A Sailor is a simple and unsubtle one. Its title sums up its subject. The album apparently charts the blossoming of a parents’ relationship, against the backdrop of the sea and long periods spent apart.

A sweet idea, but not an entirely successful one. The vocals of Stuart David (of Belle and Sebastian fame) sound more like the opening to Balamory than the intended shipping forecast. An instrumental follows and I’m about to give up hope.

But then enters the single ‘Don’t Want Anyone Else’. The soothing twanging of banjos complements the choral harmony perfectly. It is a simple yet sweet song, and an early (and rare) highlight in the album.

If Neutral Milk Hotel and Slow Club had a love child, chances are, in their infancy they would sound like North Atlantic Explorers. My Father Was A Sailor uses similar orchestral arrangements, piercing trumpets and uncomplicated guitars. You can feel emotion outpouring in ‘Spiral Into The Sea’, the simple beauty of which the sentimentalist in me cannot help but appreciate.

‘Hebrides, Bailey, Fair Isle’ is the album’s lowest point, yet you can’t help but smile when he utters “Goodnight gentleman, good sailing” as the album comes to a close.

Ben Wilkinson-Turnbull

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Beats, bass and classical music

Nick Byrne discovers what makes drum and bass legend Netsky tick

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he word ‘Netsky’ to a computer scientist would mean a computer worm, an unwelcome virus that spreads and infects via email. But the Netsky I was to interview raids our computers in a very different way — via iTunes.

Netsky (a.k.a. Boris Daenen) is one of today’s biggest names in drum and bass and liquid funk. He started teaching himself to produce around the age of 15. “I don’t have the patience for manuals or tutorials,” he told me. “I always loved finding out what different knobs and filters would do.” Boris dropped out of university in Belgium to pursue music, but part of his first album was made while he was still studying.“For some reason you could wear your headphones in class, so that’s what I did…

I feel if you want to follow your dream you should take a year to give yourself a chance to see what you want to do, but it’s important to set a deadline on that.”

I asked Boris if he felt he had reduced his room for improvement by becoming one of the best in the world at what he does (despite being only 25!). He claims the opposite, that each time he improves as an artist there is even more to discover. “There’s so much to learn and so many people I look up to and I think it’ll always be that way… It’s just impossible to be the best in music, there’s so many other producers and cool genres that you could never do. Which is cool, it keeps you focused.”

I ask if his live sets ever begin to feel routine?

“I’ve always felt nervous before any kind of appearance,” says Daenen. “I always want to do really well, it’s important to have that feeling and I think the day that will go away is when it becomes a 9-5 job. That’s really not what I’m trying to do with music.”

Classical music, soul and Motown are all genres Boris enjoys listening to, all of which seem to be as different as it gets from drum and bass, “Then again it’s very close to drum and bass as well, it’s not impossible to combine

drum and bass with classical music for example. The only thing I can’t listen to is really hard rock, or funk rock. That’s not really my thing.”

He claims it’s “a real disease” to be a producer; it’s difficult to listen to music in a relaxed way.

That’s why he enjoys classical. He tells me, “It’s the most honest music, it just shows a melody, and there’s no production to it.”

Some of Netsky’s favourite places to play include Coachella, New Zealand and his hometown of Antwerp, but he is eager to perform for the first time at Red Rocks in Denver. He also sounds excited to return to Oxford in a few weeks with ‘Netsky LIVE!’. “We’ll be bringing some special guests. I’ve got a drummer, a keyboard player, an MC, some guest vocalists, and a whole production show…

The drummer plays all the drums live, he’s a machine. He really kills it.”

I was eager to talk about Daenen’s third

studio album, of which there are hints of a release early next year. “I really enjoy working on different styles of music now as well. I think it’s really important for producers to step out of their comfort zones, to try and break out of the projection of what people think you are. I think it’s important to surprise people.”

Any hints about the title? “I haven’t really made up my mind yet… People have been telling me I should call it 3 after 2 and Netsky, but I’m not sure — It’s gonna include some really weird collaborations and I’m excited about that!”

Netsky and 2 both send shivers down my spine. Boris’ creativity is mind-blowing and his skills in a production studio are to match. His third album is going to have thousands of eyes and ears locked on to it. If you’re a fan, keep your eyes and ears on his autumn tour when it reaches town.

Netsky plays the O2 Academy on November 5th

3 “A mellow, Autumnal afternoon listen” French for Rabbits 3 N Spirit 3 33322 2 2

Where are they now?

Sebastian Mullaert Reflections of Nothingness

J and producer Sebastian Mullaert has released Reflections of Nothingness in collaboration with Israeli electronic producer Eitan Reiter. As with every new electronic release, standing apart from the swathes of material appearing on the web every day is essential. Reflections of Nothingness, a name that may initially sound like the title of a gap year student’s account of their year abroad in a Himalayan monastery, actually provides something profound enough to meditate upon.

‘Enter The Spiral’ opens the album in a mechanic yet uncompromising fashion, slowly progressing from distant, reverberated beats and distended soft synthesiser touches to enter a hypnotizing sonic world.

The music takes a distinctly more trance-like step with ‘Ash Layla’, consisting of a danceable beat layered with effects (one of which sounds frustratingly like a vibrating phone).

The machine enters a shut down phase by the final track ‘Faith’, some faint yet haunting vocals ring out sadly, and are looped and distorted.

As with so many albums, it is easy to break Reflections of Nothing down into two distinct sections; the first of which has a more upbeat trance vibe, and the second of which is purely focussed on experimental synthesised downbeat.

If Mullaert and Reiter have done anything expertly, it is to create a soundscape where changes in tempo and sounds from the real world bring the listener into a new dimension.

Rushabh Haria

ew Zealand duo French for Rabbits return this year with their new album Spirit. As the title might suggest, it’s a pretty ethereal affair, an album full of gently melancholic minor chords and indulgently wistful vocals. While it certainly makes for some very laid back and atmospheric listening, unfortunately it’s an album with little originality or distinction.

French for Rabbits are a very elusive group, or at least they certainly wish to appear so.

Should you want to make contact with them, their website will direct you to a page entitled “commune”, or indeed should you want to find out what they’re up to, their news page is called “oracle”. This airy aloofness may however be their greatest asset as artists and performers.

What we do know about French for Rabbits is that they are comprised of vocalist Brooke Singer and instrumentalist John Fitzgerald.

Singer is very talented and thoughtful. Her expressive range is particularly interesting — her voice can vary from sensual and intimate to gently unhinged with impressive ease.

Lyrically it is often hard to make out what she is singing, but the few words that I can make out speak of obligatory heartbreak, sadness

“

This airy aloofness may be their greatest asset as artists and performers and betrayal. To her credit it is very difficult to describe her sound by comparing her to other singers, but something akin to Florence Welch’s Lungs period seems about right.

Her counterpart Fitzgerald is a highly versatile instrumentalist in the number of sounds he combines. Where he really shines is as a guitarist though. The tone of his sound is very smooth yet distinct and you can definitely see

the influence of bands like The xx in some of his arrangements, with the hypnotically looping single notes as background to the vocal spectacle. Chromatics is also a good point of reference here in the general tone and sound that comes across.

All of this sounds great on paper, The xx-cumFlorence and the Machine-cum-Chromatics with a floaty folk twist. The trouble is that the actual result is just a little underwhelming.

Put it like this, it went well as an accompaniment to an essay crisis: gentle, inoffensive but ultimately not all that interesting.

Justified or not, the group do seem to take themselves quite seriously. No doubt as their range develops their image and style will amass a following who will cherish Spirits as a tragically underrated early classic. But I think for the rest of us, it just makes for a mellow autumnal afternoon listen.

Mark Barclay

Cherwell delves into the later careers of one-hit-wonders so you don’t have to Even if you don’t remember their name, you surely remember the dance. You weren’t a noughties kid if you didn’t spend school discos trying to emulate Las Ketchup’s hand gestures in the music video for their 2002 Number 1 ‘The Ketchup Song’ . But even such original dance moves set to nonsense Spanish couldn’t stop them from being pushed off their pedestal of fame after a week at the top.

Yet they did manage to claw their way back up. For a few minutes in 2006, Las Ketchup played in the homes of millions across Europe as they represented Spain in Eurovision.

They were playing under extremely shady circumstances (no one would ever reveal how they were picked) and even the Spanish didn’t like their song, ‘Un Blodymary’, but they did have another shot at the limelight. Maybe if their entry had sounded better than a screeching children’s choir, or had some sassy dance moves, they could have had a shot at the top spot again.

Thanks for the memories Las Ketchup, but please don’t attempt to resurrect your career a third time!

Stage | 29

31.10.14 | Cherwell

Will Hislop Jesus

Know Your Thesp

Brothers Grim

Bethan Roberts reviews a production of the darkly comic The Pillowman

Contrary to what you may have heard from the naysayers, Will Hislop is far more than just Ian Hislop’s son.

He’s also Victoria Hislop’s son.

“Everyone gets pissed and takes drugs”

Fergus Morgan gets an inside look at Jerusalem at the Keble O’Reilly

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ez Butterworth’s Jerusalem offers an updated idyll of England, presenting a green and pleasant land in which promiscuity, alcoholism and drug addiction have replaced dragon-slaying and damsel-saving as the nation’s preferred pursuits.

The plot centres around Johnny ‘Rooster’ Byron, an aging drug addict living in a caravan in the woods next to a sleepy Wiltshire town.

Hounded by upstanding citizens, plagued by eviction notices and accompanied by a gaggle of wastrel teenagers, Johnny’s quasi-bucolic life begins to unravel before him, with both hilarious and poignant consequences.

These may not seem like typical themes for Oxford drama, but Jerusalem is also laden with a coarse, naturalistic humour and, with a cast boasting such comedic talent as Will Hislop and Barney Fishwick, Director Will Felton evidently relishes the opportunity to stage the play at Keble’s O’Reilly Theatre in 4th Week.

He explains, “It’s a play that has in-built theatricality,” he tells me, when I ask why

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he chose Jerusalem, “and I love making theatre as live and theatrical as possible. There are scenes, like the opening one, which are pure spectacle and there is also a lot of theatricality in the ensemble scenes as well, with characters performing to each other, not just to the audience.”

The opening scene, a thumping rave sequence in front of Johnny’s caravwan, is described to me in detail. Felton is not wrong; his vision of the sequence is remarkably imaginative and, should it be pulled off as he wishes, will be a genuinely striking spectacle.

This theatricality of the tamer, dialogue-filled scenes is also evident in rehearsals I witness.

Johnny, Ginger and Davey, played by Fishwick, Hislop and Tommy Simman respectively, take it in turns to ‘perform’, ruminating aloud on various themes to audible ribbing from other characters, who slouch around the edge of the space and thus create an arena in which these ‘performances’ take place. It is an effectively effectively engaging device.

The play is also imbued with a naturalism that arises partly from Butterworth’s script and partly from an affected affected style that the cast have been refining. refining.

“Once everyone’s learnt their lines, that naturalism starts come through,” Simman tells me. We’ve started to work off each other, ad-libbing insults and trying to react instinctively to the dialogue.

“It’s easier in the one-on-one scenes,” Fishwick interjects, “but with the ensemble scenes it is a lot harder. You have to stay awake and alert to react instinctively.”

A great deal of the play’s humour lies in this naturalism, in these unscripted asides and raucous exclamations, particularly as they are all spoken in a heavy West Country accent.

Central to the play is Fishwick’s Johnny, the forest-dwelling ‘English eccentric’ who is besieged on every side by conformists. He is a compellingly complex character who the audience is paradoxically able to sympathise with.

“I think the audience likes him because he is that classic release of the anti-establishment figure figure we all secretly crave to be.” Fishwick continues, informing me, “That said, there is a brutal reality behind the endearing façade that becomes more obvious as the play goes on.

“He is a lonely middle-aged man who supplies teenagers with drink and drugs to preserve their company. He is the perfect hero of a modern-day fairytale where instead of slaying dragons, everyone just gets pissed and takes drugs.”

On cherwell.org this week...

e have a review of Neil Labute’s Fat Pig, which finished its run at the BT Studio on Saturday. “Lost in a mire of dull realism and insubstantial plot”, it was “a stuttering, pedestrian exploration of our obsession with appearance that did very little in the way of actual exploring”.

Luke Howarth has reviewed Bouncers, John

Godber’s energetic four-hander that arrived at the BT on Tuesday, directed by Adam Leonard and James Watt.

Also, Bethan Roberts has interviewed Madeleine Perham, director of His Dark Materials, about her theatrical realisation of Philip Pullman’s greatest work. The production comes to the Keble O’Reilly in 5th Week.

T

!!!""

hey said The Pillowman would be dark — they weren’t kidding. The outlook of the play is almost unremittingly bleak.

The humour, of which there is either loads, or slim to none, depending entirely upon how ghoulish an individual you are, counters this only a little. Then again, with a play about child murders in a totalitarian state you can’t really expect much — or anything — in the way of sweetness and light.

The casting of the play is apt and effective.

Claire Bowman gives an impressive performance as the flawed central character, retaining the audience’s interest even when Katurian does not have their sympathy. Dominic Applewhite and Jonathan Purkiss give nuanced performances as police officers Tupolski and Ariel, bookending the intensity of the play’s central scenes with comedy that remains dark enough not to jar with the overall tone. Featured prominently in the advertising of the play is its use of genderblind casting. What was surprising about its implementation is how little (after a while) it seemed to matter that female actors

“

If you’ve got a a thirst for the macabre and gruesome, you’re bound to enjoy The Pillowman were being addressed with male names and pronouns. The ease with which Bowman and D’Arcy’s excellent performances as “The Writer and his Brother” were accepted makes me wish wholeheartedly for more casting in this vein.

The realistic set of the interrogation room fluidly peels back fl uidly to reveal a dark, wooded environment, a cutaway room jutting precariously into the dreamscape. There’s an appropriate element of ‘twisted fairy tale’ in this stage difficult design — something unsettling that is diffi cult to pin down or explain without robbing it of its creepy charm. Staging steps up another notch with a cross formed of LED lights and also an effective ambitious and extremely eff ective take on one of Katurian’s characters.

Despite the high calibre of acting, and incredibly adept direction and conceptualisa-

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tion of staging, there are some uncomfortable moments. There’s something that makes me squirm in my seat about listening to an audience of Oxonians sniggering at the way social and emotional norms are transgressed

by Katurian’s brother, who has learning difficulties. Emma D’Arcy’s depiction of Michal’s learning difficulties is extremely impressive, but it’s hard to be certain to what extent the audience laugh simply because the lines are funny, or rather because Michal’s disability somehow causes the humour. The play’s toying with the trope of the despicable disabled individual is hardly cleverer or more nuanced than the equally overused endowment of similarly abled characters with near sainthood.

Disability as equivalent to evil is hardly new or original (Richard III anyone?) and this element of McDonagh’s play makes me more uncomfortable than I can adequately express. The Pillowman causes strong emotional responses in its audience, and I’m sure many of mine are highly subjective.

As the plot twists, turns, and doubles back on itself, so do responses to the characters, and even to the play itself. The act break is in a dangerous position plot-wise — I almost considered sneaking off in the interval to escape the darkness and disturbia. It’s not a feel good play.

For reasons I can’t fully explain without spoiling the plot (and possibly can’t explain full stop) I’m extremely glad I did stick around. This is not only because the standard of the production is incredible, but also because the play manages to pull off a feat I thought near impossible. It gestures towards some sort of meaning or purpose in sufferings the evitable suff erings of existence it depicts so vividly.

If you’ve got vast resources of emotional stamina, or a thirst for the macabre and gruesome, you’re bound to enjoy The Pillowman, and for anyone without these prerequisites – if you stick with it, I don’t t h i n k you’ll regret the experience.

Cherwell recommends...

he Pillowman is on until Saturday if you fancy checking it out in person. In addition to a cornucopia of other cultural experiences, the Egyptomania themed Ashmolean Live Friday features performances of an operatic and comedic nature from the Elia Ensemble and Oxford Imps respectively.

Bouncers continues its run at the BT Studio

and Jez Butterworth’s Jerusalem comes to the Keble O’Reilly from November 5th. Our Country’s Good is also on at the O’Reilly, relating the story of convicts in an Australian penal colony as they put on a production of George Farquhar’s The Recruiting Officer amid debates about punishment and rehabilitation that have a continuing relevance.

30 | Sport

Cherwell | 31.10.14

The ECB ought to listen to its prodigal son for a change

As the ramifications of Kevin Pietersen’s autobiography are felt across the sporting world, ignoring his criticisms would be a mistake Tushar Kelkar Deputy Sports Editor

L

ast week we found out that international sports stars are actually as petty and as human as the rest of us. Cliques, changing-room rivalries, and coach-hatred were once thought of as the dark-sided preserve of amateur-sides playing for enjoyment and local community pride. They are in fact also it seems the realities of international sport, and we have now discovered that they manifest themselves even in one of sport’s historically more

Quick Fact

8,181

The number of test runs

Pietersen made in his career gracious teams: the English men’s cricket side.

Kevin Pietersen’s recent release of his muchanticipated autobiography has sent shockwaves around the cricketing world, altering what we, until now, had labelled a ‘golden era’ of English cricket. In his book, he outlines a culture of bullying, with bowlers abusing those who made even the slightest mis-field, and a small group of players forming a faction within the squad, alienating all those who were not part of their gang.

The release of his autobiography is difficult to interpret: is it punishment for the past sins of his previous employers? The fact that he lays off current players — he describes James Anderson as “the nicest man in the world” and suggests that Alastair Cook was simply the figurehead of the more malicious ECB — tells us that he is trying his best not to burn every bridge available to him. Whatever his intentions, the

results are clear: Pietersen will never play for England again.

What he has done for the sport, however, is to give us an insight into the inner-workings of the changing-room, something that until now we have assumed was the pinnacle of professionalism; politeness, encouragement, and camaraderie are what we expect from what is termed ‘the gentleman’s game’. Instead, the shattering of these illusions exposes a world where we find bickering, adolescent strops, and players finding solace in their own personal failures by laying into other players. That Matt Prior — former vice-captain and lynchpin of the dressing room in recent years — is so brutally singled out in the book (in a chapter entitled ‘Le Grand Fromage’, which describes Prior as a “Dairylea triangle thinking he was Brie”) suggests that the problems within the dressing room were systemic. They happened either with the consent of senior management, or under their noses — both situations that suggest

the ECB was incompetent.

My defence of Pietersen’s account of events does not mean that I absolve him of any misdemeanours, character flaws, or behavioural lapses during his England career: there were plenty of those, and perhaps enough to warrant a sacking from the team, given his questionable contributions to the team.

Nevertheless, with several players either backing his claims outright — for example Ricky Ponting — and others such as Michael Carberry and Chris Tremlett suggesting that Pietersen’s tale represents a specific version of the actual events, we are left with the conclusion that Pietersen has released this book to show us the hypocrisy of the ECB’s player policies. This is Pietersen’s final effort to show us that he was not the villain that he was made out to be — to highlight that assigning all blame for the Ashes defeat to one man, especially one with 100 Tests under his belt, was always going to have repercussions.

Now Pietersen has argued his side, it appears that he was simply a scapegoat (albeit one with his own personal defects) in a broken system — no one can possibly claim that he was responsible for Jonathan Trott leaving the Ashes series, or Graeme Swann’s mid-series retirement in particular. Instead, last winter’s woes expose a much deeper malaise that was hidden from supporters and pundits alike.

One always wonders what it would be like to play for a team where your teammates are labelled as amongst the greatest to play the sport. The recent Pietersen controversies suggest that the stresses and strains of coping with maverick sporting genius do not make for a recipe for succes. In a sport like cricket, teamwork is built more in the changing room than on the playing field. As such, the ECB’s failure to man-manage their most talented batsman points to a lesson that they would do well to remember in future, or else cricketing success might soon become a distant memory

Sport | 31

31.10.14 | Cherwell

Changing room chat with...

A fresher’s first impression of sport at Oxford A month in, one of Oxford’s newest residents explains the allure of the sporting scene Ferdinand Reynolds Contributor

I Oxford Motor Drivers Club This week, we catch-up with OUMC Secretary and self-professed petrol-head Callum Hughes to talk Karting in Oxford

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hen you think of university sports you probably do not immediately jump to Karting.

But in Oxford, indeed across the country, there are dedicated karting clubs that offer competitive motor racing at a national level.

Cherwell Sport got in contact with Callum Hughes to discuss motor racing in Oxford.

OUMDC is a small club, attracting those who love competitive racing. They compete in the BUCS drivers competition, which features 25 teams from a large number of British Universities.

It is testament to the Oxford club that they are able to put out three teams to compete. Indeed, this is no mean feat, the C team managed to enter into qualifying coming 24th last year, where anywhere below 25th would not have been enough for qualification.

Part of Callum’s enjoyment from OUMDC is their inclusivity. “It is probably our biggest stregnth as a club, nowhere else would you be able to compete regularly at karting in such an easy and cost-efficient way, the team is driven to every event and the karts are ready for us when we arrive”.

For a sport that normally requires the purchase and upkeep of a Kart with a TKM stroke 2 115CC direct drive engine, this is a rather convenient way of taking part and one that cannot be matched at many universities.

That Callum prizes this aspect of the club is no surprise. He is part of a team that are experienced at racing at this level.

Indeed, despite loosing experienced 4th year driver Sam Rebbettes “one of the fastest drivers at the club”, the team look very strong this year with a strong new crop of freshers, new addi-

“

Nowhere else would you be able to do karting in such an easy way tion Henrich Watson Miller, a second year who has competed at the Rotax World Finals, and the retention of varsity winner James Lambton, the man Callum insists he ought to have beaten on the day (in the end he settled for 3rd place).

In addition the club have managed to secure more sponsoring for the upcoming season, which has enabled further subsidisation of the Internal Championships and new equipment.

As such, Callum is optimistic for another successful year with OUMDC, although he is realistic in his ambitions. “The BUCS championship is really hard, there are teams who contain former British karting champions and even a guy who is driving porches on tour with the F1 circuit”.

There is an added spice in BUCS competitions as local rivals Oxford Brookes and none other than Cambridge University compete at the events, which leads to a number of highly contested encounters over the season.

Naturally, Callum is also hoping for another victory in the varsity race this year, which takes place in Hilary term.

’ve learnt a new phrase this year. In fact, I’ve learnt several, but my favourite — as a student of Modern Languages — is one that I have come across through my hockey team, The Occasionals (Oxford’s 2nd Mens XI). It is “bin”. Noun? Far from it: bin can be applied in many situations, but the context of waste disposal seems no longer to be one of them. A pint can be binned, a goal can be binned, and people — as a consequence of having binned a pint find — can fi nd themselves in the resultant state of being binned.

I’m sure my understanding of this verb will grow as I become more comfortable with it. I’m still currently trying to work out its etymol-

“

If you’re at a loose end, get involved with uni sport, or college sport ogy, and if — indeed — that is at all important to being able to employ it properly, like a native.

All these ramblings are beside the point: sport at Oxford truly is great.

I was pretty apprehensive turning up as a fresher in Week -2 for my pre-season training.

The fact of the matter is — and I’m sure everyone took about as long as I did to work this out (about two days) — everyone at Oxford is actually really nice. I quickly realised that my captain had a nickname, and to call him by his actual name made me a bit weird. The changes of character that adjusting to Oxford sport asked

of me were certainly not unreasonable, and the feeling of starting to belong to a club, society or community of any description is, and was, a wonderful one.

The day of (what was meant to be) our first match, the minibus stalled on Cowley roundabout (as a direct consequence of the driver, but he — for legal reasons — has to remain nameless). For whatever reason, the same driver (naming him is becoming increasingly tempting) forgot how to start an engine.

As such, the OUHC O’s spilt out of the back of the Ford Transit and pushed it. Back to Iffley.

Iffley. Passers-by found it hilarious, and to be honest, so did we. Admittrafficc betedly, the stream of traffi hind us seemed less amused, but we were united in being the Iffley laughing stock of Iffl ey Road, and in sharing the weight of the minibus (where one of the team remained, staunchly refusing to get out until he had fi finished nished his pasta salad). I’m not suggesting there was a kind of High School Musical moment — at no point were high-fives there any high-fi ves or “great job, flying gang”s fl ying around — but, as I believe is very English, there was an unspoken understanding that this group — which previously had been an amalgamation of students from different diff erent backgrounds doing different subjects — had turned into a team.

I’m not for a minute pretending that now, having pushed my first fi rst minibus, I am well-versed in the sporting world of Oxford University, but I do — at least — feel that there are people in a relatively similar situation to mine and who share at least one of my interests.

I haven’t even touched on crewdates or team socials, and I think that is something that each person will have to experience individually, but the value of sport to this University is immeasurable. Oxford is obviously a place of high academic achievement — as a result, stress can mount up, and perspective can easily be lost.

A lot of people work well with relatively empty schedules. Personally, I find myself working far more efficiently when I leave myself no time in which to procrastinate. If you’re at a loose end, get involved with uni sport, or college sport — which, from experience, I can say is equally as different fun (though for very diff erent reasons).

I have loved my involvement in university sport so far. You might expect that sports clubs are full of lamentable lad-ism, where pint sinking ability is comparable to human worth, but from what I’ve experienced in the Hockey club everyone in the plethora of Oxford sporting clubs is as lovely as you would expect from what you know of Oxford already I can speak with authority only about the hockey club, but I thought being a fresher in a well-established University team difficult would be a diffi cult and potentially traumatic experience. My captain, my team and the rest of the club seem determined to make sure that it isn’t, although admittedly, I’m not team boy (a rubbish position that falls upon the team’s youngest member: a water boy cum errand boy cum scapegoat for every disaster.)

Basically, play sport unless you’re young. Or now, while you’re still young.

Oh I don’t know — something to do with sport and youth

A winter’s sport will warm up the coldest days

Ahead of a tense sporting winter, here is the Cherwell Sport guide to what’s going on as the nights draw in Jonathon Turnbull Contributor

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he quadrennial nature of the Winter Olympics means that last Winter’s festival of sport in Sochi won’t be repeated until 2018. However, that’s not to say that the coming months aren’t full of sporting intrigue... As such, at Cherwell Sport we went on a search for the most exciting sporting events to be held during the coming chilly months. This is our attempt to pick out the key sporting events still to come in 2014 so that you don’t have to!

November

This month gets off to an abrupt start with the debut match of the Rugby League Four Nations tournament between New Zealand and Samoa on November 1st. England’s first match comes against Australia on November 2nd with their next fixture against New Zealand on 8th November. In Rugby Union, England are playing New Zealand on 8th, South Africa on 15th, Samoa on 22nd, and Australia on 29th.

In Football, the Champions League and Europa League group stages continue this month, along with the Euro 2016 qualifiers between Romania and Northern Ireland, and Scotland and the Republic of Ireland.

England plays Slovenia on 15th November in a Euro 2016 qualifier, three days before they travel to Scotland for a friendly in the first sporting contest between the two nations since the Scottish referendum.

Tennis fans will also be kept on their toes in November with the ATP World Finals coming to London between 10th and 17th of the month.

The Davis Cup Final is on the agenda too, seeing France face off against Switzerland between 21st and 23rd.

Motor Sports feature prominently this month too. In the world of Formula 1, the US Grand Prix is held in Austin on 2nd, the Brazilian Grand Prix in Sao Paolo on 9th, and the Abu Dhabi Grand Prix in Yas Marina on 23rd. Valen-

cia plays host to MotoGP on 9th, and the Wales Rally GB is held between 13th and 16th.

England cricketers begin their tour of Sri Lanka with their first one-day-international on 26th. The second ODI comes on 29th, with the rest in December.

The England cricket team has been under pressure in recent years with the loss of key players for variety of reasons. Let us hope the team can gel in Sri Lanka in an attempt to revive the spirit of cricket that the fans have become used to since the infamous Ashes series of 2005.

The end of November plays host to UK Championship Snooker between 25th and 27th. We also see Tyson Fury square up to Dereck Chisora in a much-anticipated bout in the boxing ring on 29th.

December England cricket dominates December’s sporting calendar, with their tour of Sri Lanka.

Five ODI matches in total, between the 3rd and 16th of the month will satisfy the cricket enthusiasts among us.

December also hosts the World Short Course Swimming Championships in Doha, as well as

more Champions League and Europa League group stage matches. Boxing day sees the King George VI Chase at Kempton Park for any horse racing fans out there.

Another date for your diary is December 11th, with the Rugby Varsity Match at Twickenham being one of the few examples of Oxford sport which truly grabs attention globally — hopefully the Tabs will be shoed on national TV once again.

The U21s will also be on display before the main event. This match is genuinely a spectacular event and a great day out for rugby fans, and non-fans alike.

One third year and Varsity Match veteran commented, “Varsity rugby is by far the best day out this winter. I love it when we all get together from different colleges and cheer on the Dark Blues; we absolutely spanked them last year! I’m not a fan of rugger, but that doesn’t stop me going.” We’re backing the Dark Blues to repeat last year’s result.

The Ski season also kicks off in December, with the Varsity Ski Competition taking place at the beginning of the month during the notorious Oxbridge trip. A number of colleges also have their own ski trips throughout the winter. with those of Jesus and Keble notable

Sport

Tushar Kelkar reads KP’s book so you don’t have to

Catz lace up to boot out homophobia

Jonathon Turnbull previews a winter packed with sport

This week’s Sport in brief EXETER, LAST YEAR’S FOOTBALL CUPPERS CHAMPIONS, lost 4-3 to Univ, who are currently languishing in fifth in the JCR’s Third (and final) Division. Celebrating the achievement of Oxford’s third worst team, Univ student Aaron Simons declared this “the greatest day in all of Univ’s 765 year history”. Exeter will surely now look to take lessons from Balliol on how to dispatch lower-league opposition, as the Broad Street outfit beat Hertford 4-0.

SATURDAY saw the fiercest rowing competition of Michaelmas term as colleges competed in Autumn Fours, a regatta for smaller boats. The competition takes place on the same course as Trinity term’s Summer Eights. Oriel triumphed by significant margins in both the single and double-seat sculler races.

In the Women’s Fours, Hertford edged a narrow single-length victory, while Pembroke won the Men’s fours by five lengths.

OXFORD’S WOMEN’S BLUES FOOTBALLERS secured an impressive 3-1 victory over Nottingham 1st XI. The Blues’ new 4-3-3 formation allowed for some impressive passing in the midfield, with stand-in Captain Kat Nutman acting as the anchor of the midfield trio.

Two goals from Lucie Bowden and a long-range drive from Becky May secured the win, which was particularly encouraging given the presence of four freshers in the starting line-up.

St Catz sports teams to take part in #RAINBOWLACES anti-homophobia initiative Jacob Rabinowitz Sport Editor

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t Catz Football Club have always been a high-achieving team — their narrow loss in last year’s Cuppers final is proof of that. Now, however, they are leading the way in a whole new field: from this term, any footballer who has kicked a ball for Catz will receive in their pidge a pair of rainbow laces, as part of the College’s commitment to Stonewall UK’s campaign to kick homophobia out of football.

According to Stonewall, seven in ten football fans have witnessed anti-gay slurs on the terraces — meanwhile, there is not a single openly gay or bi-sexual professional football player in England (although several players in Europe

and North America have come out in recent years).

Homophobia is endemic in football, and whilst a college team wearing rainbow laces cannot solve the problem, raising awareness must surely be considered the first step.

The impetus behind the Catz scheme came from the 2nd XI football captain, Pete Woods, who had no difficulty securing the support of LGBTQ Rep Eleanor Diamond and JCR President Jack Hampton.

The backing of the College authorities has been essential, as JCR funds were used to purchase the laces. Though the campaign originated with the football team, it is soon to be rolled out across the College’s sports teams, with hockey and rugby scheduled to receive their laces in the near future.

The College’s 1st XI captain, Oli Troen, is proud of his college. “It’s a fantastic initiative,” he commented. “Homophobia is still rife in sport and it’s only through grassroots campaigns like this that we can stamp it out.”

To some extent, Oxford sport is insulated from the prejudice that taints football at the national level. Complacency, however, is to be avoided at all costs: we are not immune from homophobia. As long as terms such as “faggot” remain insults heard on the football pitches of Oxford, it can be seen that there is a problem.

As such, St Catz’s style choice seems to be an important step to a solution.

Three games into the season, Catz Men’s 1st Football Team sit second; perhaps the laces have brought them good luck, as well as making a difference in the fight against prejudice.

FORMER OXFORD RUGBY BLUE Gareth Davies has been appointed as the new Chairman of the Welsh Rugby Union. Davies won his Blue in the Varsity Match of 1977, a year when Oxford ended five years of Tab dominance with a momentous victory - one of only two Oxford victories in a thirteen-year drought for OURFC. Pickering progressed from the Blues to win twenty-eight caps for Wales, but we like to think his Varsity victory was the peak of his career.

IF YOU WOKE UP ON SUNDAY MORNING and took a stroll around Christ Church Meadows, you would be forgiven for thinking you were still dreaming as students gathered to run around in their underwear in the cold. The event — an ‘Undie Run’, as it is known — aimed to raise money for Stand Up to Cancer. It gained a fantastic sum of £1,600.

A broadcast of the event can be found on cherwell. org

Magdalen emerge victorious in swimming cuppers... again Despite impressive showings from LMH and Worcester, Magdalen came out on top at Iffley Road Holly Winfield Contributor

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wenty colleges. Fourteen races. One title.

Dreams were shattered and lives were changed forever as Swimming Cuppers came to a thrilling conclusion for yet another year. Magdalen — sporting some fantastic stash — front-crawled and butterflied to victory for the second year running, dominating the field with 112 points. Underdogs LMH followed with an impressive 72 points, pursued by Worcester with 67. Both LMH and Worcester improved drastically on last year’s results, when LMH came in 10th and Worcester didn’t even turn up.

There was an upset, however, for New College, who tumbled dramatically from 2nd place last year to finish last.

Magdalen’s women were particularly remarkable, securing top place finishes in four out of the five individual races, and winning 84 of their team’s total of 112 points. In the Men’s event, LMH took everyone by surprise by storming into the lead in the last two races, but

couldn’t quite do enough to close the immense lead secured by Magdalen’s women.

The competition began with the 100m Individual Medley, followed by 50m races in all four strokes — a special congratulations to all those who survived the 50m Butterfly. Finally, in what

was no doubt the pinnacle of the competition, the evening ended with the ‘splash and dash’ of the 4x25m Freestyle and Medley relays.

As expected, the relays served as ‘make or break’ as double points were up for grabs and the Blues swimmers were finally able to take the

stage. In particular, OUSC Women’s Captain Rachel Andvig stole the show, competing in both women’s and men’s relays for Jesus College.

Of course, with the onset of the relays, the previous undying devotion towards colleges suddenly dissipates, as teams desperately banded together to secure maximum points — whatever happened to loyalty? Notable hybrid colleges include Mansfield Hall (that’s basically a Jane Austen novel, right?) and Lady Lincoln Hall.

However, LMH — or rather, LLH — were certainly a force to be reckoned with in the men’s relays, dominating the Freestyle and coming second in the Medley. Worcester also featured heavily in the relays, entering about three teams per event to grab as many points as possible (tactics...).

So now as we count down the days until Cuppers 2015, questions abound. Can Magdalen be beaten? Will New College come back fighting?

Will Wycliffe Hall ever turn up? Who knows?

Overall, the evening was a huge success, with more colleges involved than ever before. Thanks must go to OUSC for organising, hosting, and swimming pretty much all at the same time.

Full results are available on the OUSC website.