Cherwell 3rd Week Vol.272 No.4

Friday 16 May 2014

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Inside: C+ investigates Local Elections

Sir Malcolm Rifkind on Snowden and the future of our privacy

Chang Rae Lee on language, literature, and golf for the writing mind

Cherwell Independent since 1920

3rd Week Vol. 272, No. 4

‘No Confidence’ motion proposed against Union President

Ella Richards Deputy Editor

Homophobic chants mar Rugby Plate final

Students criticise Lincoln and Jesus authorities’ attempts to suppress dialogue Tom Calver News Reporter JESUS COLLEGE JCR has issued a letter of apology to Lincoln College after homophobic chants were sung by fans at this year’s rugby Plate final.

Both Jesus and Lincoln College authorities have been criticised for attempting to suppress dialogue on the issue, after emails were circulated asking students not to provide comments to the student media.

Concerns about offensive chanting were first raised in an email sent last week to the Jesus JCR and MCR presidents which referred to inappropriate chants “in relation to the name of Lincoln College” at the 2 May match.

The chant deemed “homophobic” is understood to be a traditional slogan, typically directed at “Jesus boys” by female fans. The offending line reads, “Jesus boys, they play one, they all take it up the bum [...]”, sung to the tune of children’s song ‘This Old Man’.

At the rugby Plate final, “Jesus boys” was substituted for “Lincoln boys”, and reportedly sung by male and female Jesus supporters. Jesus LGBTQ Rep Jessica Parker Humphreys told Cherwell, “The line from the song is offensive and inappropriate. However it was written at

a time when casual homophobia was more easily accepted than it is now.”

Parker Humphreys continued, “I am happy to say that Jesus girls have been discussing changing the line and that it is actually an opportunity to acknowledge how easy it is to make mistakes. Whilst condemning what happened is important, it is also important to see that things are changing as a result.”

According to Jesus JCR President Leo Gebbie, the chants have nevertheless caused “serious upset to several members of the Lincoln College Common Rooms”.

Students have also expressed concern at apparent attempts by college authorities to prevent student journalists from investigating the issue.

On Tuesday morning, Lincoln’s Senior Dean circulated an email which stated, “A student newspaper has become interested in a matter that is of considerable importance to the College and its student members. While there is certainly no cause for alarm may I politely ask that any Lincoln student approached by the press should not offer a statement but instead refer the matter to myself or the Rector.”

A similar email sent to Jesus students requested that students “refer all press enquiries” to the Principal.

An anonymous Lincoln student commented, “The idea that students are instructed not to share any views they have or experiences that concern them with a free press, without first going through college authorities, is frankly abominable.”

Lincoln student Anna Leszkiewicz remarked, “I suppose they want to keep a lid on any exaggerated reports Jesus JCR President Leo Gebbie acknowledged that the chanting caused “serious upset to several members of the Lincoln College Common Rooms”

or sensationalized comments as allegations of homophobia are obviously very serious.”

Lincoln JCR President Rachel Jeal stated that “both colleges are taking this matter very seriously”, but referred Cherwell’s enquiry to college authorities.

Jesus JCR’s apology letter, issued on Tuesday, was written by Gebbie and signed by various JCR representatives.

It stated, “We would like to apologise unreservedly on behalf of the Jesus supporters for any inappropriate chants in relation to the name of Lincoln College that may have been

expressed at this match, and for any offence this may have caused to players or supporters. At Jesus, we pride ourselves on being an exceptionally welcoming and open community, embracing and supporting both our members and those of the wider university community regardless of nationality, ethnicity, faith, disability, gender, or sexual orientation.”

Speaking to Cherwell, Jesus principal Lord John Krebs stressed that “the chant, whilst it was ill-judged and could have caused offence, does not reflect a homophobic attitude in college”.

He added, “I am very pleased that the JCR and MCR have written to apologise to their counterparts at Lincoln. I, too, would add my apology on behalf of the College to those who were upset by the chant.”

Jesus JCR’s apology concluded with an invitation for Lincoln to participate in “a supportive joint event in response to the concerns raised by the Cuppers Plate Final Rugby Match, as we believe such an occasion outside of the field will help to humanise and reconcile concerns brought forward”.

Neither Lincoln nor Jesus administrators were available for comment regarding their emails discouraging students from speaking to the press.

OVER 30 UNION MEMBERS have signed a petition calling for a motion of no-confidence in the President.

The motion, which states “This House has no confident in the President, Benjamin Sullivan, Christ Church”, was posted on the Union notice-board on Thursday morning.

It comes a week after Sullivan’s arrest

by Thames Valley Police on suspicion of rape and attempted rape.

Speaking to Cherwell, Aleksy Gaj, the proposer of the motion said, “I think he should step down due to his recent absences from the Union.

I fear that his recent circumstances have left him unable to properly carry out his duties, and the fact that so many committee members have recently resigned stating a toxic atmosphere point towards a Union that has become increasingly chaotic and ungovernable under his watch.”

He continued, “Regardless of the previous media stories regarding Union funds and his arrest, I believe that this issue needs to be brought into the open at the very least Continued, p. 3

Luke Harding talks Ukraine and modern warfare Comment, page 9

What do appearances say about our inner selves?

Culture, page 24

Composing classical with a hip-hop twist Music, page 28

Cherwell | 16.05.14

2 | News

“I would run 10,000 metres”

4000 OXFORD RESIDENTS, students and staff took part in the annual 10k run in aid of Muscular Dystrophy last Sunday.

Hertford Principal Will Hutton, who took part, told Cherwell, “I run with the mothers pushing their kids in fashionable prams,

duck-clad humans and any number of runners whose body shape suggests they should have done rather more training - but usually I come in behind them all. I increasingly wonder why I do it. Great bonhomie on the day, is one reason, and another is just because it’s

there and it’s a good cause. Will I do it next year? Probably. I must be close to the oldest person running it.”

Geographer Aoife Dudley remarked, “The day itself was great fun - there was a real mix of people getting involved and some interest-

Hollywood film about Oxford soc causes a riot

University and Access officers express concern over portrayal of Oxford in The Riot Club Alex Stronell News Editor

CONCERN HAS BEEN expressed over the portrayal of Oxford University in the soon-to-be released film The Riot Club.

Access officers and University officials have suggested that the perception of the University portrayed in the film, which focuses on a fictionalised version of the Bullingdon Club, might discourage prospective applicants from poorer backgrounds, or simply those averse to such an environment.

The film, which stars Max Irons and Sam Clafin, is an adaption of the Laura Wade play Posh. The trailer features lines such as “I am sick to death of poor people!”.

Dr Jamie Castell, Outreach Officer at Hertford College, told Cherwell, “I think such portrayals of Oxford do affect access efforts. This film is obviously fictional, and it is obviously fictional from the trailer, but there is no doubt that they reinforce certain inaccurate stereotypes about this University, in particular class, privilege, money.”

He continued, “The trailer is inacurate in a number of different respects. Not only social background, but the notion that Oxford is the oldest university in the world. We’re not even the oldest university in Western Europe by quite a long way. So it’s clearly going for sensationalism rather than accuracy.”

However, remarking on the elitism of the society portrayed in the movie, Castell commented, “The only nice thing in the trailer was its reference to the fact that there are 20,000 students here, which is some sort of gesture towards the diversity that actually exists. The notion that ‘we’ve got to make ourselves the ten that belong to this club’ does in some way give

a sense that the sort of behaviour depicted in this trailer would be rejected by the majority.”

“Most sane people would dislike the particular atmosphere portrayed in the movie”, he added.

Similarly, Academic Registrar Dr Matthew Hiscock, who works in access, remarked, “Most audiences will know that this is fantasy and not reality, but it can still put off people who are anxious that they wouldn’t fit in to that environment, or who actively dislike that kind of atmosphere. It’s unhelpful for us.”

A university spokesperson was very positive about the access work done by Oxford, commenting, “We hope prospective students, parents and teachers who watch this fictional programme will realise that this stereotype does

not reflect the vast majority of Oxford students.

We do an enormous amount of access work, spending more than £5.5 million per year and holding more than 2,200 outreach events to encourage students from all backgrounds to apply to Oxford. This work has led to one in ten UK students who were admitted to Oxford in 2013 being from a household income background of less than £16,000 per year”.

One undergraduate, however, was more positive about the film, commenting, “I’m actually quite excited to see it. Most people will realise that it’s fictional. That said, I can see how it undermines access work.”

When contacted by Cherwell, Universal Studios was unavailable for comment on the trailer.

ing costumes too! Muscular Dystrophy is definitely a worthy cause for such an event, and I’ll certainly be running again next year!”

Hertford chaplin, who had never before run 10km, commented simply, “Oh my God!” Alex Stronell

The week in figures

4000 Number of people who ran the Town and Gown 10k

65

Days the Teddy Hall mascot was missing before being returned this week

223 Seconds it took for the Lincoln Dean’s request not to talk to student media to land in Cherwell’s inbox

16.05.14 | Cherwell

News | 3

Police investigating chants of “rape” on Oxford High Street Group believed to contain several members of the Wyverns, a Cambridge drinking society Esther Hodges News Reporter A GROUP OF MEN, some of whom are believed to be members of the Wyverns, a Cambridge drinking society, is under police investigation for chanting about rape in Oxford city centre.

The group was filmed by an Oxford student on the High Street on Saturday 10 May. The video, which was subsequently uploaded to YouTube and posted to the Facebook groups ‘Misogyny Overheard at Oxford Uni’ and ‘Cuntry Living’, appears to show the men chanting “rape” , “fifteen years,” and “she’s too young.”

The men, in a group of approximately 25, were spotted walking from Cornmarket to the Sainsbury’s next to Magdalen Bridge, chanting the whole way.

They then stood outside Magdalen College freshers’ accommodation, chanting at Magdalen members leaving and entering the building.

The student who filmed the men told Cherwell, “I saw them cross Cornmarket and thought this was just silly behaviour of some drunk people, but then I caught them again in front of St Mary The Virgin and was shocked they were still singing the same song several hundred metres later. At that point, I thought that this was slightly ridiculous and decided to film it.”

She added, “The men I confronted were obviously embarrassed. They knew the rest of the group was acting in an inappropriate way once an outsider intervened, yet (perhaps because of peer pressure) had not confronted their peers.

“None of the men was directly threatening

towards me, but I think their behaviour as a whole (a large group of big-ish men strutting down the street chanting loudly and obstructing passers-by) was intimidating in the street.

“This was in broad daylight on a weekend, at a time when families with children were walking down the centre of town just looking to enjoy a safe and peaceful evening. I have since heard that shopkeepers and people in libraries were also disturbed.”

A fresher at Magdalen told Cherwell, “There was a group of people outside our accommodation who started chanting, ‘You’re at the wrong Magdalen’ as we went in. At the time we laughed it off and then read about it later.”

There is speculation as to who the men were. The black and white hats worn by some in the video have been linked to the Wyverns of Cambridge’s Magdalene College. They are thought to be between the ages of 20 and 25.

Cambridge college deans have been contacted and are looking into the matter.

The men are thought have been celebrating a stag party and many are believed not to be current students. The Cambridge Tab, reporting on the issue, claimed to recognise a number of the group as current university students.

A spokesman for Cambridge University told the Telegraph , “If indeed these students were from Cambridge, their behaviour is deplorable. The colleges and university will be

investigating.”

The Wyverns attracted controversy last year when their garden party, “Suicide Sunday,” was banned from University grounds for being overtly sexist.

The event had previously included jelly wrestling between bikini-clad students, which received national news coverage. Last year, the jelly wrestling event was cancelled following a student petition, which gained 891 signatures, calling for a ban.

The petition also received support from the Cambridge Women’s Campaign and national news.

The event will continue this year at a location, “in exilio”. A disclaimer on the event website says, “The Wyverns encourage our guests to drink responsibly.”

In a statement on the Facebook page of fictional character, “Johnnie Wyvern,” the society said, “The Wyverns would like to condemn the actions of those seen acting inappropriately in Oxford this weekend.

“This was NOT a Wyvern organised event and the video shows no current student to be taking part in the disgraceful chants.

“We find the behaviour seen in the video appalling and hope those who are involved are made to apologise.”

The incident has also been reported to Thames Valley Police, who are currently conducting an investigation into the disturbance and the use of offensive language.

A police spokesperson said in a statement to the press, “We received a call on Sunday which was a report of a group of men using offensive language in Cornmarket Street, Oxford, on Saturday evening at approximately 7.30pm.

“Our officers are in the early stages of making enquiries.”

Honorary fellowship for Rowling

Ben Sullivan chairs first Union event since arrest

Exeter College grant honorary fellowship to the Harry Potter author

Over 30 members call for debate of ‘No Confidence’ to be held next Thursday

Ellen Brewster News Reporter EXETER COLLEGE HAS ANNOUNCED that its Governing Body has elected to grant J. K. Rowling an Honorary Fellowship.

The announcement comes after Rowling made a visit to the college in February of this year. During her visit she was in conversation at the Sheldonian Theatre with Jeri Johnson, fellow in English and Sub-Rector at Exeter.

The pair discussed the themes of ‘Mortality and Morality’ in Rowling’s work, including both The Casual Vacancy and The Cuckoo’s Calling, which was published in 2013 under the pseudonym Robert Galbraith.

Exeter’s statutes state that honorary fellowships are awarded to, “any distinguished person,” and Rowling has been added to a list of honorary fellows which includes Queen Sofia of Spain.

In addition, there are a number of literary figures on the list who are alumni of the college, such as Martin Amis, Alan Bennett and Philip Pullman.

Queen Sofia of Spain visited Oxford earlier this term to celebrate the 700th anniversary of the college.

The college issued a statement on its website, saying, “Ms Rowling was elected in recognition of the extraordinary contribution she has made to the field of literature, and in particular to children’s reading and literacy.”

A medic at Exeter said, “I understand the significance which the Harry Potter series has for many people, but it seems to me that making J. K. Rowling an Honorary Fellow is a bit like name-dropping.”

Grace McGowan, a Fresher reading English at the College disagreed, explaining, “I think it’s a great way to recognize her achievement, especially as her books have got so many chil-

dren to start reading.”

This is not the first time that Rowling has been granted a fellowship to an organization.

She is also a Fellow of the Royal Society of Literature, a post for which she was elected in 2002. In total, she holds 6 honorary degrees, including ones from Harvard, Edinburgh, St. Andrews and Exeter, where she did an undergraduate degree in French and Classics.

The release date for Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them, a film based on a 2001 Harry Potter spin-off that Rowling wrote in aid of Comic Relief, was recently revealed as 18 November 2016.

The book was billed as a textbook for Hogwarts in Care of Magical Creatures. Rowling has agreed to co-write the scripts, as she did for the Harry Potter film franchise.

Exeter announced that it is “delighted Ms. Rowling has accepted and is pleased to welcome her to the Fellowship”.

According to the college’s statutes, any person elected to hold an Honorary Fellowship is elected for life.

Continued from page 1...

– even if we cannot comment on the truth of the allegations that have led to his arrest – I know that it is still highly troubling for many members that someone facing such allegations is in, for example, a position of power of [sic] women.

“At the very least this should be debated in public by Union members in our tradition of free speech. Though a vote is more of a symbolic gesture, given that this cannot make Ben resign, it is still important that Union members let him know collectively how they feel about him continuing to be President.”

However, Sullivan argues that, due to Rule 47(a)(i)(1) which states that “No Private Business Meeting not recommended by the Standing Committee shall be introduced at a Public Business Meeting unless notice of it has been posted on the notice-board not less than eight days before the meeting”, the debate cannot be held next Thursday, since only seven days will have passed since its posting.

Sullivan commented. “With regards to the No Confidence Motion itself all I can say at this stage is that it will now be held in 5th Week as the proposers did not give the eight days’ notice required by the Rules.”

Proposers of the motion have questioned Sullivan’s position. Speaking in his role as Returning Officer, Josh Atkinson, said “In the rules, any public business motion put forward by a member with 30 signatures can only be debated eight days after its posting on the notice board, since the motion was only put forward this Thursday, the eight days will have not passed so it could not be discussed at the fourth week Thursday debate as asked for in the motion.

“However, Standing Committee has the ability to push forward any motion, including this one and can vote on this on Monday. If they vote as such, the no confidence motion can be

debated on Thursday of fourth week” Atkinson also pointed out that at the debate the President will be unable to defend himself in front of the House. “Due to standing order B5, no member of Standing Committee is able to speak against the motion and thus, if it came to it, the President could not defend himself in a No Con.” The Motion of No-Confidence comes as Sullivan held his first Union event since his arrest, chairing the weekly Thursday debate. Speaking to the House he said, “I would like to make a very brief statement regarding the recent stories about me. Unfortunately I am not able to give any detailed comment on what is now an ongoing police investigation. As you may be aware no charges have been brought against me and I have the utmost faith in the police and Crown prosecution service and the British legal system as a whole. I know that sooner or later the truth will prevail and justice will be served.”

He continued, “I would like to thank Mayank, President-Elect for organising the debate in my absence and I hope events will not overshadow what I am sure will be an excellent debate that your committee have worked so hard to organise.”

4 | News

Cherwell | 16.05.14

Christ Church Teddy Hall teddy escapes from claws of Christ Church GCR appoints promi- Teddy Hall grads welcome back mascot after two-month abduction and viral trip to Paris nent new Dean Jack Doyle Deputy Editor

Nick Mutch News Reporter CHRIST CHURCH HAS APPOINTED the Reverend Canon Professor Martyn William Percy as the new Dean to replace the outgoing Reverend Christopher Lewis, who has been in the position since 2002.

Professor Percy has been the Principal of Ripon College, Cuddesdon since 2004, and is married to Dr Emma Percy, Chaplain of Trinity College. He also holds the distinction of being the only real-world theologian to be quoted in Dan Brown’s The Da Vinci Code.

Commenting on the “exciting and challenging” nature of the job, Professor Percy stated, “I am very much looking forward to serving the unique foundation that is Christ Church – a college of the University and the Cathedral of the Diocese. I am particularly looking forward to working together with colleagues throughout the College and the Cathedral, as well as with the senior staff of the Diocese.”

Christ Church has a unique status, being

“

He is an active academic, committed to the importance of teaching and research the only academic institution in the world that is also a cathedral. As the Visitor of Christ Church is the reigning monarch, the Dean of Christ Church is one of the few academic positions that must be personally approved by the Queen.

David Nowell, Senior Censor at Christ Church, commented to Cherwell, “Martyn is an excellent fit for the Deanship of Christ Church in a number of important respects: he is an active academic, committed to the importance of teaching and research; and he has experience of college life at Cambridge and at Cuddesdon. Martyn also has wide experience as a priest.” He further noted, “We look forward to welcoming Martyn and his family to Christ Church in the autumn.”

A second year philosopher at Christ Church commented, “We look forward to welcoming the new Dean to Christ Church and I am sure the dean will enjoy his time here. Christ Church often attracts media attention for all the wrong reasons, and I hope he will be a good figure to attempt to challenge this.”

Percy is due to take up the post at Christ Church in October 2014.

ST EDMUND HALL STUDENTS were delighted by this week’s safe return of their MCR teddy bear mascot, who went missing under mysterious circumstances over two months ago.

It has since come to light that members of the Christ Church GCR abducted ‘Julian’ the teddy bear and took him on a day outing to Paris. The kidnappers revealed their plot by publishing a photo story of the trip on BuzzFeed, which has since gone viral.

According to ‘The Visitor of Christ Church’, an anonymous collection of Christ Church students linked with the theft, four students kidnapped Julian on a “midnight sting operation” on 8 March. The Visitor told Cherwell, “During the past six weeks, Teddy has spent time with different members of the GCR, and all of us here at Christ Church have come to love him.”

“He made his first official appearance as a Member of the House on May Morning. It was around this time that we began to hear rumours that Teddy Hall were looking for their mascot and GCR Secretary Josephine Rendall began circulating notice of Teddy Hall’s desire to have him back. Teddy was heartened that someone had finally taken notice of his absence, and decided to return home.”

Rendall arranged this week’s handover with Teddy Hall, but not before Christ Church students had the last laugh. Last Friday afternoon, Christ Church members “moved by their overflowing love for the bear” arranged for an anonymous student to fly to Paris with Julian at 6am the next day.

“Teddy spent a lovely day in Paris (shout-out to the Minnie Mouses from Brenda’s hen do)

and was back at Christ Church before dawn.

He spent his last day at Christ Church in the loving embrace of our members,” the Visitor reported.

The BuzzFeed story shows Julian visiting various attractions and taking photos with tourists and Parisian locals. Dressed in a Christ Church hoodie, the Teddy Hall mascot travelled to the Arc de Triomphe, the Champs de Mars, the Eiffel Tower, and the Shakespeare & Company bookshop. The photo story also shows an airport security guard handcuffing the bear, with the caption, “Teddy was shitting himself. He was worried there might be some trace substances on him after that crazy Freshers’ Week party!”

The Teddy Hall MCR received their mascot on Monday, to great acclaim on Facebook. The offi-

cial St Edmund Hall Twitter account welcomed Julian back, reporting that he had been returned with a souvenir photo from his captors.

The bear’s return has been greeted with joy, with Teddy Hall DPhil student Gemma Prata among those relieved by the bear’s return to the college this Monday.

“It’s great to have him back in one piece, although we would have appreciated having him back before the rugby Cuppers final which he always used to go along to – the Hall lost by a very small margin to St John’s/St Anne’s!” Prata commented.

“We were going for our third year in a row as champions and Teddy’s presence could have made all the difference!”

Julian the teddy was unavailable for comment.

Controversy over award for Castle Mill contractors

Castle Mill contractors were awarded runners-up in the 2014 Considerate Constructor Awards Delia Lockey Deputy Editor THE SAVE PORT MEADOW CAMPAIGN has complained after Longcross, the contractor involved with the controversial Castle Mill development, were awarded runners-up in the 2014 Considerate Constructor Award.

The award is issued by the Considerate Constructors Scheme, a non-profit independent organisation which aims to improve the image of the building industry.

The campaigners have complained about the company’s apparent lack of transparency concerning the diesel spill of 2013 which was, according to the Save Port Meadow campaigners, never adequately explained.

The campaign asserted, “Although we did not make a complaint to the Considerate Constructor award, complaints were made about the major breach of the Ground Contamination condition direct to Longcross, to Oxford University, Oxford City Council, to our local County Councillor, to Nicola Blackwood MP, to The Environment Agency (whose complaint to the Council about the Ground Contamination condition first alerted us to the issue) and to the Police, either formally by Save Port Meadow campaign or by members of the public independently who made us aware ex post facto.”

The complaints from Save Port Meadow are not directed against the Considerate Constructors Scheme itself, as the organisers of the award have shown that their criteria have been met

by Longcross.

However, the Save Port Meadow campaigners continue to assert that their concerns were never addressed, and that by awarding any prize to Longcross the Considerate Constructors Scheme is discredited.

According to the Considerate Constructors Scheme, “The Considerate Constructors Scheme’s National Site Awards are given to sites who have achieved the highest scores follow-

ing visits to the sites by one of our experienced Monitors.

“They visit each registered site twice during a 12-18 month registration period and look to assess the site’s performance against our Code of Considerate Practice based on what they see and hear at the time of the visit, and on their discussions with the site manager.

“We are unable to assess sites on a continuous basis due to cost and logistical constraints and these visits therefore inevitably provide a snapshot of how that site is performing. Our Monitors attempt to take into account the context of each site and any constraints or issues they have to deal with based on that particular project.”

The Scheme’s Public Liason Officer David Crook commented, “The Monitor who visited this site was aware of the strength of public feeling against this project and the many challenges this created for the contractor. A number of exceptional initiatives were introduced

and a very high standard of performance was witnessed by the Scheme’s Monitors at both visits carried out.

“We therefore feel that the award presented to this site is also appropriate and reflects the hard work and efforts made by the site team in what was clearly a difficult situation.”

However, Save Port Meadow have continued to oppose the decision, telling Cherwell, “We are stunned that this award has been given to Longcross for the Castle Mill development because serious contamination risks to students and their families are ongoing following the diesel spillage for which we understand Longcross was responsible. Longcross did not report the spillage for 3 months potentially putting public health and the environment at risk.”

The Considerate Constructors Scheme and Longcross were unavailable for comment when approached. Oxford University have declined to comment.

16.05.14 | Cherwell

News | 5

Oxford explains dino extinction Researchers discover why birds survived and dinosaurs did not Dorothy Finan News Reporter GROUNDBREAKING RESEARCH led by scientists including Oxford palaeontologist Dr. Roger Benson appears to have to revealed why certain dinosaurs became extinct and some did not.

The palaeontologists’ work shows that dinosaurs below a certain body size successfully evolved to become birds, while those with larger bodies became extinct.

According to Dr. Benson, the research team, “travelled all over the world on our mission to weigh as many dinosaurs as possible”. When full skeletons were not available, the researchers calculated dinosaurs’ weight by extrapolating from the weight of leg-bones.”

The key to the most successful evolutionary line seems to have been small body size. Direct bird ancestors were the only dinosaurs to weigh in at under one kilogram.

The researchers believe that this direct link with dinosaurs might explain why birds, compared to most other surviving classes of animals, have such extraordinary diversity. Birds are even described by the authors as being ‘extant dinosaurs’.

Dr. Benson explained to Cherwell why this report is so significant for solving the mystery of how and why the animal kingdom has developed from dinosaurs. He said, “In their quest to understand the origins of ecological diversity, biologists have focussed on understanding exceptionally diverse modern groups such as birds or mammals. They have found that they diversified relatively recently, over about 100 million years, by a process called adaptive radiation.

“But animals have been evolving for over 540 million years, so previous work had been quite focused on what palaeontologists would view

as relatively recent evolutionary events.”

However, Dr. Benson and his colleagues decided to take a new approach to tackling the study of evolution. “We looked further back, analysing rates of evolution in extinct lineages related to birds - the dinosaurs,” he explained.

“We found evidence of continual ecological innovation for over 170 million years along the dinosaur lineage leading to birds. This is different to the widely accepted ‘burst-like’ concept of an adaptive radiation that you get from studying only non-extinct species.”

Josie Dyster, a first-year French and German student from Hertford, questioned the research’s findings. “Dinosaurs are just a hoax to hide the existence of Pokemon,” she commented.

Psychopaths get ahead in business Cambridge beats Oxford in uni rankings Oxford professor claims psychopaths do well in high-powered careers

James Rhodes News Reporter RESEARCH BY AN OXFORD PSYCHOLOGIST indicates that being a psychopath is often beneficial in high-powered careers such as neurosurgery, the armed forces, and business.

In their new book The Good Psychopath’s Guide to Success, Oxford psychology professor Kevin Dutton and co-author Andy McNab demonstrate that psychopathic characteristics often found in high-level criminals, such as ruthlessness, a lack of emotional empathy and an ability to act on impulse in stressful situations, are actually identical to professional personalities in high-pressure jobs.

Dutton gives an example of an interview he had with a neurosurgeon who described surgery as “a blood sport”.

He explained, “If things go wrong in an operating theatre, you don’t want someone to start freaking out and panicking, you want someone to absolutely focus on the job in hand and not get fazed out, and also that kind of dispassionate distance that psychopaths have, that cold empathy that they display.”

Flo Harris, a second-year experimental psychologist, stressed, “It is important to remember that it is a personality disorder and people present on a spectrum. The word ‘psychopath’ doesn’t tell you a lot about what those people might actually be like.”

Dutton defined a psychopath as “a distinct cluster of personality traits which include ruthlessness, fearlessness, charm, charisma focus and a lack of conscience”.

These traits are all found in the Hare Psychopathy Checklist, a psychological assessment used to distinguish psychopaths scored on a scale of 0-40 with 30 and above constituting psychopathy.

In his research, Dutton distinguishes between dysfunctional psychopaths and those that can function within society. He stresses the difference between dysfunctional psychopaths, who are naturally violent, asocial, or unintelligent, and functional psychopaths, who are able to apply themselves to careers and relationships without being a danger to themselves or others.

The latter category, Dutton suggests, could succeed in some of the most high-powered, well-paid positions in society.

Oxford’s rival gets the top spot for the fourth year running Megan Gibbons News Editor CAMBRIDGE HAS BEATEN OXFORD to the top of a recent University League table.

The Complete University Guide creates the league table each year ranking universities in a number of areas, including graduate prospects, student satisfaction and entry requirements.

Cambridge has topped the table for the fourth year running, with an overall score of 1000 compared to Oxford’s 993. They outperformed Oxford in the categories of entry standards, graduate prospects, student satisfaction, research assessment, student-staff ratio and facilities spending. However, Oxford beats its rival in the categories of good honours and academic services spending.

A spokesperson for the University of Oxford told Cherwell, “University league table results all vary, depending on the factors they use to calculate their rankings. For example, the Times Higher Education world rankings has rated Oxford as the strongest university in the UK for the past three years and the second

strongest in the world for the past two.

“Despite the differences between them, all league tables consistently show Oxford in the very forefront of the world’s universities, both for the quality of its teaching and the excellence of its research.”

The London School of Economics has retained its place in third and St Andrews have moved from sixth to fourth in the space of a year.

London Metropolitan was ranked last in the table of the 123 UK universities.

Oxford fresher, James Edmonds, commented, “Cambridge doesn’t have the allure of Wednesday Night Park End to contend with.”

Cherwell

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COMMENT There’s more to racism in Oxford than the institutional kind Maryam Ahmed Contributor

I

am proud to be a British woman of Pakistani heritage. Like so many others, my family’s immigrant story is one of hard work and sacrifice. Like too many others, our story also features the odd encounter with racial prejudice. Indeed, having spent my secondary school years being addressed as “Oi Paki” and receiving regular kickings courtesy of my classmates, I feel pretty adequately qualified to say that racism is alive and well in Britain.

But let’s talk specifically about racial prejudice at Oxford. I’m delighted to report that my time here has been an overwhelmingly positive experience — at no point have I been made to feel uncomfortable or unwanted because of the colour of my skin. Oxford has welcomed me with open arms and I couldn’t be more proud of our diverse, supportive

slightly miffed when people comment that my grasp of English is excellent for an overseas student? Yes. Do I want my course syllabus to be more than a list of books written by dead white men? Yes. But are these the worst examples of discrimination in our city? No. When we discuss racial prejudice in Oxford, we often forget that our experiences as students are only half the story. We talk an awful lot about gown — but what about town? What about the difficulties facing the permanent residents of Oxford who, unlike us, might not have access to such an extensive support network?

I recently stumbled across a Freedom of Information request sent to the City Council asking for a breakdown, by ethnicity, of all

prosecutions related to breaches of housing regulations. The City Council first denied keeping records of ethnicity before relenting and handing over the goods. The results made for some rather unsettling reading.

Only 27% of Oxford’s residents are non-white, and yet 73% of those prosecuted by the Council for breaching housing regulations are non-white. It doesn’t take a First in Mods to realise there’s something badly wrong here.

In real terms, these prosecutions can lead to fines of up to £20,000 — and what happens when a landlord gets hit with an enormous fine? Their tenants get hit with rent increases, which they may well struggle to pay in a city with such high levels of deprivation. Everybody suffers when the Council doles out fines, and we should be question-

“

I feel pretty adequately qualified to say that racism is alive and kicking in Britain student community.

Of course, we have our hiccups. Does it bother me when I hear about a student ‘blacking up’ to attend a bop? Yes. Am I

Yes

Cherwell on the go

App available for iPhone and Android Tom Carter Deputy Comment Editor

I

t might seem surprising that I, someone from a metaphorical broken college home, who has never experienced a college family event in his life, would stand up in defence of the union. After all, my experience has been pretty crap. Indeed, it seems far too mainstream to defend college families, especially the monogamous heterosexual kind one gets at stuffy Trinity. The arguments in favour are tired and obvious: college families enable inter-year bonding, a support network upon arrival at Oxford and, most importantly, a bit of fun.

Yet, at the same time, it could also be argued that they rarely work and often lead to awkward ‘banter’. They also formalise divisions between years, creating a mentor-mentee relationship instead of an equal one.

It is these assumptions that I want to challenge.

So, given that nothing comes of so many marriages, what do they

ing why this is happening three times more frequently than it should be to ethnic minority landlords.

“

We have a responsibility to ask awkward questions when we see injustice Granted, the City Council has a proven track record of driving a wedge between different sections of society — whether that’s knocking down council housing to build expensive private flats, or claiming that students destabilise communities, but disproportionately prosecuting ethnic minority groups is going just a tad too far.

All this from a City Council which claims to be working to “reduce the extent of inequality” in Oxford. You’ll forgive my scepticism.

As Oxford students, we have a responsibility to stand up for the most vulnerable residents of our city- because the Council certainly isn’t. We have a responsibility to ask awkward questions when we see injustice. I am thoroughly fed up of watching inequality in our city made worse by a stream of Councillors who care more about grand vanity projects and party politics than about helping the most vulnerable residents of Oxford. That is the one and only reason I’m standing for the City Council in next week’s elections. So here’s my awkward question.

Oxford City Council, what are you going to do about this?

Is the college family a s

Tom Carter and Evelyn Cavalla discuss the ar achieve apart from indoctrinating us with traditional family values from an early age?

Well, first off, they provide support to snotty-nosed, innocent freshers before they arrive, by giving them an alluring sense of security that they won’t be on their own when they arrive and won’t be stranded, alone, in the big bad world. That one’s college family rarely provides such support doesn’t matter; it is the idea that it might which comforts the fresher.

Indeed, if Freddie Fresher was lucky enough, his college family might even have given him helpful advice before arrival.

Whilst many college families fall apart after the initial awkward meeting in fresher’s week, that is not to say that they all do. Even if the majority are misses, the fact that a few hit is important as it is through these few successes that crucial inter-year bonding takes places, which seems to be far too rare as it is. Although it is true that we are all adults now and so should be able to make the effort ourselves, a little pushing never harmed anyone. Without college families,

the great year divide would be bigger than ever.

One complaint that could be levelled against college families is the awkward “banter” it produces, such as ‘Do I know her? She’s my wife ha ha ha’ or some other banal remark. Yet, whilst this can get a little tiring on the fifteenth time of hearing, it complements the aim of college families more generally, namely to act as a social lubricant.

Ultimately, college families boil down to an attempt to enable easier social interaction within groups of awkward brainboxes, whether through giving them something to talk about or providing them with a social occasion where they can meet new people. Whilst many, myself included, might see this as a little infantile, that does not change the fact that college families help provide some support to some very nervous freshers. So, in the spirit of happy families, I urge all newly weds to love and tend to their children as if they were their own. After all, if you have to have children, you might as well love them full-heartedly.

Comment | 7

16.05.14 | Cherwell

Cherwell

editor@cherwell.org 7, St Aldates OX1 3BS @Cherwell_Online

Letters to the editors

Since 1920

Chummy Chants

A Riot

Naughty

Loud, drunken chanting, whether vomited out at a college rugby match or bellowed away, redtrousered, in broad daylight down Oxford High Street, have hit our headlines in two disgusting but unrelated incidents.

The tendency to engage in this sort of boozeinduced behaviour is baffling, especially amongst supposedly educated young men, and even more worrying in the case of the Magdalene Wyverns, ostensibly composed by mature Cambridge alumni.

Both instances seem to this editor to qualify for what Aldous Huxley termed herd-poisoning, in which, “The crowd-intoxicated individual escapes from responsibility, intelligence and morality into a kind of frantic, animal mindlessness.”

In both cases, a heavy dose of animal behaviour seems to have been prevalent – but such an explanation should by no means serve as an excuse for their actions.

Rather, to this editor it suggests that clubs such as the Wyverns are themselves conducive to this kind of shameless conduct.

Obnoxious crowd behaviour seems to be inherent to elite drinking societies and rugby ‘lads’. It would seem that under the influence of alcohol the true colours of certain groups are exposed – be they the vile black and white of the Magdalene Wyverns or the homophobic green of the Jesus rugby supporters.

Perhaps there’s some space for consolation.

No Oxbridge society could surely be as bad as The Riot Club, the fictional Bullingdon as depicted by the latest Hollywood adaptation of Wade’s Posh: “I’m sick to death of poor people!”

This week saw the release of the trailer for a new film about the lives of Oxford students.

Entitled ‘The Riot Club’, it’s seemingly filled with drunken violence, sex and excess. Loosely based on the Bullingdon Club (or on perceptions of the Bullingdon Club), this latest venture from Universal Pictures has certainly sparked the interest of the student body.

But what should the Oxford body make of it?

From an access perspective, it is a disaster. The film is even subtitled ‘Filthy. Rich. Spoilt. Rotten.’

This is surely going to do nothing but damage the tirelessly fantastic work that outreach officers do to rid Oxford of its overprivileged reputation.

But most reactions among students seem to have been of bemusement. For better or for worse, Oxford receives a large amount of attention in the media, but in cases like this, it’s not just the ‘outside world’ is finding itself drawn in, but Oxford students themselves.

The film trailer has been received as it has because it represents something that is both familiar and alien. Part of it we recognise – not only do we see a sequence in the KA and by Hertford Bridge, the idea of drinking societies is something relatively common.

But of course Universal’s version is blown out of proportion, exaggerated, ‘romanticised’ almost. And it seems to be this that has attracted students’ attention. It’s odd to see something that we have a vague idea of given the Hollywood treatment. But what is slightly odd for us will have nasty consequences for access.

Cherwell Readers are Good for Nothing ‘Stoners’ with the Attention Span of a Naughty 4 Year Old. That’s the problem with the kind of people who read Cherwell. They’re lazy. They don’t pay attention. They’re just plain naughty.

Jamie Sylvian GOOD FLOA Good day my dear and how is your health and your work? with hope fine, I am Miss flora william david, i am sorry that i did not say much about myself because I have a special reason of contacting you. i have a good business to introduce you.

Snakes Didn’t think it possible that the Oxford Union could be a bigger snake pit of entitled teenage egomaniacs than it was in my day.

Claire Hillary Do you people know where Hillary is? Is she here?

Jane Cahill, Queen’s College Loony

An Exclusive Invitation Dear fellow socialites,

having real fun. The issue, of course, is that it’s not your real family. If it were, the children would have shared experiences due to their shared upbringing – college siblings, by contrast, share at best a subject and at worst a common opinion of the Junction paint party.

Which brings me to the potentially more insidious side of college families: their implicit desire to attain the nirvana of ‘the family’, as imagined

by Tory MPs and Enid Blyton. The nuclear, heterosexual family structure isn’t compulsory in all colleges, but it certainly pervades some. Trinity ballots its first years into heteronormative boy-girl pairs. Typically, Wadham is tolerant of homosexual, asexual, polysexual, heterosexual, bisexual and pansexual permutations of parenthood. Trinity’s attitude may be seen to be stuffy at best, oppressive at worst.

But even Wadham’s system leaves room for boring jokes and weirdly entrenched year divides. Whereas meeting someone in the year above at sixth form would engender complete apathy, at university your col-

Here is my attached profile about why Oxford needs a loony candidate for the May 22 election.

Mad Hatter

Tweet of the Week

I would like to extend you an official, ex-

rguments for and against college marriages

“You can’t get with your college dad! That’s soooo incestuous!”

My knuckles turn white as I overhear the same insipid joke, shrieked gleefully across the Turl Street Kitchen for the millionth time since the beginning of my time in Oxford. I reflect on how many conversation crutches have been fashioned out of these invented roles, how many silences followed by uproarious laughter over dinner as someone announces that they saw their mum out last night. “Oh, you mean your COLLEGE mum!” My jaw clenches.

The college family is a fairly recent Oxford institution, having arisen in the past twenty years or so. If one were to rank Oxford traditions in order of usefulness, it would fall somewhere in the middle; higher than sub fusc, but below the tutorial system.

Its primary use is to give freshers an opportunity for organised fun, which serves as a stopgap before you start

Delia Lockey, W1

Miss Flora William David

successful institution?

Evelyn Cavalla Deputy Comment Editor

clusive, luxury, glamorous invitation to a chilled out hangout party which will be a recipe for a fun night out.

No lege parents are presented as an entirely different generation. University is meant to be the ultimate leveller, yet calling your peer ‘mum’ is possibly the quickest way to regard them as ‘other’.

However, college families do unite as well as divide. The unfortunate corollary of this is that they promote an odd system of favouritism: family ties mean you’re entitled to their essays, but no genetic tie means that help is less readily offered. A stauncher debater might even make the link between college families and the kind of door-opening Oxonians expect from alumni or their real family, which is something we’d do well to distance ourselves from.

The system seems like a fairly helpful but ultimately depressing artifice.

Why can’t different years be nice to each other without pretending they’re related? Why bring together people who have little in common and who will greet each other with curt nods by Christmas? To butcher Tolstoy, “All happy families are alike.

Each college family is unhappy in its own special way.”

RIGHT OF

REPLY If you would like to respond to any of the features in this week's edition, contact the Comment section at comment@ cherwell.org

Cherwell | 16.05.14

8 | Comment

Luke Harding talks to Evelyn OXSTEW Cavalla about Snowden and Putin THE

Oxford don proves Rowling-Shakespeare authorship with ‘unbelievable’ textual analysis software

L

ess than a year after an Oxford academic’s computer-program analysis confirmed the extraordinary revelation that The Cuckoo’s Calling crime writer Robert Galbraith is none other than a pseudonymous pen-name for the author of the Harry Potter series and The Casual Vacancy, J.K. Rowling, the same ‘genius’ program has revealed that the author of the so-called ‘Shakespeare’ plays is in fact also Ms. Rowling.

Speaking to Cherwell, Dr Ian Sibley, a Computer Science Fellow based at Keble College, explained: “Having carried out a series of technical analyses, based on such key indicators as the deviant collocation of the nouns ‘witch’ and ‘death’, the syntactical positioning of the conjunction ‘so’ and the unusually high frequency of the letter ‘J’ in the works of Rowling and the so-called ‘Shakespeare’, it is beyond doubt that these authors are in fact one and the same person.”

The President of the Royal Shakespeare Company (RSC) has cautiously welcomed this new report and said that such compelling findings merit careful and thoughtful consideration. He noted that whilst arguments have been made for William Shakespeare of Stratford-upon-Avon, Edward de Vere, the 17th Earl of Oxford, and the philosopher and Lord Chancellor Francis Bacon, startlingly few have previously considered the possibility that Ms. Rowling, born in Yate in 1965, might in fact be the identity of the playwright responsible for Macbeth and Romeo and Juliet.

Anticipating the predictable accusations from “failed” and “jealous” fellow academics that his model fails to account for the fact that Hamlet was written four-hundred and fifty years before Ms. Rowling’s birth, Dr Sibley confidently defended his findings, saying “But the computer model says so. Look.” Following careful inspection by our correspondent, Cherwell can confirm that the computer did indeed say so.

Some have also questioned whether the fact that Dr Sibley’s software has consistently resulted in the answer ‘J.K Rowling’ might be due to there being no other possible authors included in his comparative analysis, therefore significantly limiting the scope of possible results, to one. However, he refuted this line of argument, saying “No, I wouldn’t have thought that’s significant. No. Not at all.”

When asked for comment by Cherwell, one prominent Shakespeare specialist refused point-blank to answer Dr Sibley’s argument, simply saying, “I’m not going to dignify that with a response.” In the face of the overwhelming linguistic evidence, this has been interpreted by Dr Sibley as an inability to counter his hypothesis and perhaps even a tacit admission that the growing case for Rowling-Shakespeare authorship is almost irrefutable.

Such is the momentum behind these new authorship claims that rumours, mentioned

by Dr Sibley, suggest a star-studded feature film portraying the major discovery could already be in the works. Provisionally entitled ‘Shakespeare: A-Fellow?’, the Hollywood movie would apparently look to cast George Clooney as the protagonist Dr Sibley, at the Keble academic’s suggestion.

Neither Ms. Rowling nor ‘Mr. Shakespeare’ were available for comment.

Philip Kinemod

Evelyn Cavalla Deputy Comment Editor

I

meet Luke Harding in Blackwells’ first floor café on a muggy May afternoon. His sitting position (jaunty, legs hooked over arm of leather chair) is reminiscent of a supply teacher a good decade younger than his Twitter handle - ‘@lukeharding1968’ – would suggest. His choice of refreshment, a box of organic apple juice drunk through a straw, completes the look of an irreverent thirty-something.

Harding is in Oxford to give a talk on Edward Snowden for the International Relations Society in the wake of his second book, The Snowden Files: The Inside Story of the World’s Most Wanted Man. He is an Oxford alumnus himself, having read English at University College, and edited

“

He would have been better of if he’d gone to Iceland, Ecuador, anywhere but Putin’s Russia really.

Cherwell. He is one of the most experienced foreign correspondents in Britain and has been posted to a great variety of countries. He reported from Afghanistan and Pakistan in 2001 and spent much of 2003-2004 covering the invasion of Iraq before making a move to Moscow.

His first book, Mafia State, was an account of the monitoring and intimidation he suffered over the course of his stint as The Guardian’s Russia correspondent, which culminated in his expulsion from Moscow in 2011, in the most extreme example of aggression towards the Western press since the Cold War. Harding has been home for just three days after a three week stint in Donetsk, in eastern Ukraine, where he witnessed the chaotic inception of the ‘People’s Republic of Donetsk’ in a proRussian pocket of Ukraine which looks set to follow in Crimea’s footsteps as Putin’s latest acquisition.

When I ask Harding about the situation in Ukraine, his response is unequivocal. “There’s nothing good to report. Essentially, what’s happening in Ukraine is not civil war; it’s a multifaceted Kremlin operation to create mayhem.”

His analogies span the bulk of the 20th century and his predictions for the future are equally far-reaching. “This is the biggest

crisis in Europe since the Cold War. It’s not the break-up of Yugoslavia, but the strategic consensus since 1945 has been ripped up. We now have an authoritarian state, with armies on the march.” What next?

“It’s clear to me that Putin intends to dismember Ukraine and join it up with Transnistria, then perhaps he’ll go as far as Moldova in one way or another,” Harding says. This is part of what he deems Putin’s over-arching project: an expansionist attempt to gather Russo-phones together under one yoke, which he terms ‘scary and Eurasian-ist’, and which he notes is darkly reminiscent of “another dictator of short stature” who concocted “a similarly irredentist project in the 1930s”.

Comment pages have been filled with pieces linking Putin’s annexation of the Crimea to Hitler’s 1938 Anschluss for months, and the impact of such comparisons – as well as their validity – is wavering.

Harding checks himself, saying “I think we should avoid these 1930s analogies because they aren’t very helpful”, but the temptation to see a pattern, and to make predictions for the future based on analogies of the past, permeates our conversation.

Another dictator crops up, again predictably: according to Harding, the techniques used by Stalin to consolidate power in Soviet states are now being implemented across Crimea and eastern Ukraine.

“Sham referendums, local clone dictators, eliminating political competition – all these methods were rolled out across the USSR after World War II. The Crimean Tartar parliament is currently being rounded up on the grounds of extremism and their leader’s been banned. In Donetsk, Russian forces are working with local criminals, the mafia, and the unemployed, creating this kind of orc army,” he muses.

In a situation as fraught and pivotal as Ukraine, a foreign correspondent is expected to consult a crystal ball to give the press the predictions that they crave.

Harding’s references to the past and future are tied together with conviction and assured rhetoric, but he admits that the situation is both unique and difficult for anyone to get a handle on. “When there’s a bunch of foreign correspondents sitting around in Donetsk trying to work out what the hell’s going on, these analogies help to make sense of it all. They’re going around Donetsk with baseball bats and rods and they’re beating up anyone carrying a Ukrainian flag until they’re on the verge of death.” It’s these scenes that sparked the Anschluss comparison, but analogies to the past imply that there is a method to Putin’s madness.

In fact, remarks Harding, when it comes to Putin, the surest way to predict the future is to abandon reason entirely.

“If you want to predict what he’s going to do next, and you’ve got a sane option or an insane option, pick the crazy one and you’ll never be disappointed.”

The only cer-

tainty is uncertainty, and his voice shifts up an octave to impersonate a UK diplomat despairing at the Russian psyche: “They don’t think the way we think they should think.”

At one point, at the end of a fairly damning indictment of Cameron’s mercantile foreign policy, Harding sums up the differences between the Russian Duma and the British Parliament: “The British system works, and the politics are all about how to best manage rather than ideology. Russia doesn’t work – it’s crimeridden and dysfunctional, so life there is more

“

This is the biggest crisis in Europe since the Cold War. The strategic consensus since 1945 has been ripped up vivid. It’s a wonderful place to be an intellectual or a writer – the arts have been constrained in many senses, and they’re all the richer for it.”

This vivifying of life, especially in the face of illiberalism, seems to be one of Harding’s preoccupations. The breathless prose of The Snowden Files has been picked up on by critics of the book as both one of its strongest and weakest points, since fast-paced excitement frequently takes over from dispassionate analysis.

Mafia State and The Snowden Files share a common theme, namely, a narrative that places one man against a giant and relatively faceless governmental machine. The two books also dovetailed perfectly in April, when Snowden appeared on Putin’s weekly Q&A session on state television to ask the Russian president how Russian surveillance of private citizens compared to that of the UK or USA. Putin’s answer was classic of the man, and the episode reflected badly on Snowden, who went from a freedom-fighter to a puppet of the Kremlin in the eyes of many.

The incident spawned conspiracy theories (supported by circumstantial rather than concrete evidence) which paint Snowden as a double agent working for the Russians, rather than the solo agent he has always claimed to be.

I ask Harding whether the trajectory of The Snowden Files would have changed, had all this happened while he was still writing. “Well, we’re releasing an updated version later this year,” he reveals.

And what about Snowden’s credibility? Some have criticized Snowden for claiming asylum in a country with such a poor human rights record; not to mention, a lack of freedom of the press. “Well, it would have been better if he’d gone to Iceland, or Ecuador, or anywhere but Russia, really. The TV appearance wouldn’t have been his idea; it would have been his lawyer’s.

You have to remember this is a regime which is adept at video propaganda, and Snowden popping up during a bladder-testing four hour broadcast makes for great TV.” We part ways. He is off to Quod, to wine and dine members of the International Relations Society. However, before we go, the conversation turns to journalism. The doom-and-gloom of Putin’s stranglehold on Ukraine, of Britain’s inaction, of the NSA - all this is temporally forgotten as Harding talks in effusive terms about his career as a correspondent so far.

“It’s been great. I’ve been round the world, I write books. I honestly can’t think of any of my contemporaries who have had more fun than me.”

16.05.14 | Cherwell

Comment | 9

Media scaremongering over halal meat is absurd Samuel Rutishauser-Mills Deputy Comment Editor

A

spate of articles have appeared in the press recently, warning the public about the scourge of halal meat which has supposedly crept into the products bought at the supermarket and from restaurant chains. These products, articles claim, are sometimes sold without any warning that the meat they contain is halal. Such articles imply, testament to their appearance on the front cover of national newspapers (“Millions are eating halal food without knowing”, Daily Mail, 8th of May) that unknowingly eating halal meat is of importance to the public. They argue that the method of halal slaughter is worse for the welfare of the animal, and thus the British public should not be complicit in an excessively harmful practise.

But what halal actually means is unclear, and even neglected, in these scaremongering pieces which tend to leave any definition of it to the reader’s imagination. Loaded phrases such as “ritualistic slaughter” and the “Islamification of food” are used to propagate a separate agenda that the halal debate has been confounded with. In light of this, it is perhaps worth considering briefly what it really means for a piece of meat to “be halal”. Although halal actually applies to range of actions and objects, in the context of food, halal means ‘permissible’. There are certain food stuffs that are not permissible, and so only a selection of meats can be halal. The criterion for the preparation of halal meat is as follows: the animal must be conscious when killed, and must be killed via an incision to the throat from a sharp blade. Before the throat is slit, the animal must be turned towards Mecca and a prayer must be recited. Furthermore, the animals must never see the blade being sharpened nor can it witness any other animals being slaughtered; the animal must also be healthy at the time of execution.

This is the supposedly barbaric way in which halal meat is prepared. There is debate as to how

cruel it really is, with some arguing that it is less cruel than other practised industrial methods.

But regardless, what halal actually means in the context of production line slaughter for the multinational supermarkets is very little. Tesco, for instance, claims that the only difference in the slaughter procedure between its halal meat and non-halal meat is the reciting of the prayer on execution. Both methods involve the animal being stunned with electricity (which acts as an anaesthetic), and both involve the animal being hung upside down to have its neck slit. In 2012, 88% of animals killed by the halal method were stunned, and therefore unconscious, before they were killed, meaning the prayer before ex-

ecution is usually the only distinguishing feature of the halal procedure.

But even if for the sake of argument, we accept that the halal method of slaughter is more inhumane than the methods used by supermarkets (in virtue of the percent of animals which are not stunned), it is still difficult to see why this issue should receive such sudden and seemingly disproportionate coverage. Consider the conditions that an ordinary chicken from the supermarket is likely to have lived under. Such animals spend their entire lives confined to an area no bigger than the size of an A4 piece of paper. They never see sunlight, and are force-fed to grow to obscene sizes that they

would never reach in nature. Many die of lung collapse, heart attacks, as well as from breaking their legs under the weight of their own body.

Frustrated by such confined space, smaller birds are pecked to death, and so some farmers cut the beaks off their livestock in order to prevent this. This can result in infections, as well as some birds starving to death due to being unable to eat from the pain. The lucky ones, after 8 weeks of ‘existence’, are loaded into crates, and driven to the slaughterhouse. Many are crushed in transit, are dehydrated or have their legs broken by mishandling. They are then placed on a conveyor belt, stunned, hung upside down, before finally having their necks slit.

Can we really argue that this process is all of a sudden made inhumane simply because the animal was conscious when it finally had its neck slit? Such a suggestion is clearly ridiculous, but the attention that this relatively minor difference in practise receives suggests this is where the simple ethical distinction lies.

The reality is there are more pressing ethical concerns for the consumer in terms of the welfare of the animals that they eat. Unfortunately the right wing press ignores these, with its interest in animal welfare only surfacing when it can be used to bolster its Islamophobic narrative. Such press works by depicting halal slaughter as excessively cruel and harmful so as to perpetuate the notion that Islam is backwards and outdated. In reality, halal methods of execution are effectively no different from ‘Western’ methods.

That halal meat is not always labelled as such is admittedly a concern for religious groups such as Sikhs who are prohibited from eating food blessed by other religions. But it is difficult to see how this concern has prompted the outcry at the level that’s been seen recently. Instead there are perhaps two alternative explanations for this recent interest in halal meat. Either our hearts are in the right place, and we are increasingly becoming concerned with animal welfare – with our aversions simply being misapplied - or more worryingly, these aversions represent a society becoming increasingly reactionary towards alleged ‘Islamification’.

The Campaign Cai Wilshaw, Founder of Fashion Relief

Fashion Relief tackles the fashion industry with charity Fashion Relief, like many great Oxford innovations, was borne of an essay crisis.

Sarah Fan and I, now two of the charity’s trustees, had just been involved with organizing the Northern Lights Fashion Show, which had seen great success.

The thought that occurred to us was, what if student fashion was used for charity on a grand scale, even on a national scale? Thus the idea for Fashion Relief was born.

“

What if student fashion was used for charity?

The Fashion Relief Committee recognizes that fashion as it currently stands is a very flawed industry. Fashion as a lifestyle is seen as vapid and meaning-

less, while the fashion industry is a colossal money-making machine plagued by a devotion to promoting extremes of unhealthy body size and image, as well as extortion of cheap labour.

The link between the inherently flawed culture of fashion and charity is difficult for many to comprehend.

But student fashion can be a powerful force for good. The St Andrews Charity Fashion Show raised £28,000 this year alone.

Fashion Relief, despite being a monthold charity, has representatives in around 10 universities across the UK, all at the ready to launch their own unique charity fashion shows on the same night in November.

These fashion shows will follow the example set by Comic Relief and Sport Relief in trying to bring thousands of students together on one night for the same cause, and under the same banner.

Not only do we believe that this raft of fashion shows will become a source of fundraising for charities who desperately need the support, but we also believe that Fashion Relief can become a plat-

form to challenge the status quo of the fashion industry itself.

Sizeism and the mental and physical health issues that go with it are serious issues within the current fashion community, which is why Fashion Relief will

“

Fashion Relief can challenge the status quo enforce a minimum BMI requirement for its models across the UK. The poverty caused by Western clothing companies exploting cheap labour in the developing world is an issue that has been raised time and time again. Fashion Relief is looking into UK-based charities that are tackling this cause head-on, encouraging businesses to trade ethically, and exhorting customers to care about

what they wear on their backs.

As a fledgling charity, of course we’ve encountered setbacks. But with a 30-strong committee in Oxford alone, and many enthusiastic advocates across the country, we believe that Fashion Relief can become a real force for good.

Shifting fashion from something negative to something worthwhile is actually achievable if we put our minds to the task. Showing that students care, that students can put their organizational skills to good use, is vital for making this change.

In the coming months we face some daunting challenges. Our website is in the works and our team busy preparing a national strategy as well as finding leads in other universities.

But Fashion Relief is gaining momentum, so watch this space.

To find out more and get the latest updates from Fashion Relief, like our page on Facebook.

Cai Wilshaw Chair of the Trustees & Founder of Fashion Relief

PUZZLES

DEFINE: ‘spadroon’

TRIVIUM Max Born, one of the early 20th century’s most renowned pioneers of quantum mechanics, came to England after fleeing the Nazis. His eldest daughter, Irene, married an MI5 officer at Bletchley Park, and their youngest daughter was Olivia NewtonJohn! Grease lightning indeed.

CONNECTIONS

Which of these is the correct definition of this word?

Spot the connection:

1. A group of naval officers 2. A light sword 3. An outdated kitchen utensil

1. Boxing day 2. A Brief History of Time 3. An Oxford PPH

CRYPTIC CROSSWORD Across 1. I could be a vibrator vibrating (11) 6. Twain’s northern hero says “I see a language group” (6) 7. Fish a loach initially? It’s all in the wrist! (6) 8. One goes to country after semester end (11) 11. Handheld electronic medicine (6) 12. Cheeky behaviour from a pilgrim? Pish-posh! (6) 13. Curiously not sensing heat within the vacuum (11) Down 1. It’s fate! Faction devilishly showing insincerity (11) 2. Raced to the bottomless cupola in an erratic manner (6) 3. Strangely vacant ionic precaution (11) 4. One is captured in record before one is captured in capital (6) 5. Panics; hires spleen; recovers (11) 9. Jewish leader with time for non-kosher meat (6) 10. Dick’ll be a detective in turn (6)

Email Aneesh Naik at puzzles@cherwell.org for clues or solutions

SUDOKU Difficulty: Very Hard

PROFILE Niamh McIntyre talks privacy, surveillance and terrorism with Sir Malcolm Rifkind i o n: Sag e Go odw in

a more comprehensive review is ongoing, but a preliminary report stated confidently that “GCHQ has not circumvented or attempted to circumvent UK law.”

Sir Malcolm describes the current focus of the ISC telling me that it is, “looking at the whole balance you should have in a free society between privacy of the citizen… and how you balance that with what we also want: to avoid being blown up by terrorists. Most people realize you have to have a slight balance. It’s rather like having CCTV cameras in the high street. Its an intrusion, but its one we can live with.”

The ‘war on terror’ , an umbrella term which has definitively shaped the course of 21st century international relations, has been similarly fundamental in expanding the remit

tr a t

“

People want to feel they’re protected from terrorist and criminal activity

of intelligence agencies. Rifkind goes on to argue for the legitimacy of GCHQ on the grounds that, “most terrorists are not foreigners, but people born and bred here.

So we’re trying to get the needles from the haystack. And that’s not easy, it’s a big challenge.”

I would agree with Rifkind that, “people want to feel they’re protected from terrorist and criminal activity”; however, the continued confidence in GCHQ relies upon key public figures such as Rifkind creating a culture of fear centred around terrorism, or, in the words of a former member of the Bush administration, ‘sustained hysteria’. As a result of this, “[the public] understand that the intelligence agencies have to have tools to do the job.” The Intelligence and Security Committee is an important means of salvaging the credibility of GCHQ by reassuring the public that the intelligence agencies are subject to oversight and regulation, and are accountable in the case of illegal practises. “The committee I’m part of can go to M16, M15, GCHQ , look at their files. If they act outside of an Act of Parliament, they would be committing a crime.”

The claim for effective and impartial oversight sits uneasily with George Howarth’s (Labour MP and member of the Intelligence and Security Committee) admission in parliament that GCHQ’s usage of the US Prism programme was only seriously investigated after it was exposed in The Guardian. Given that, in a speech given at Wadham, Rifkind asserts that he is “strongly of the view that more public debate about intelligence and the role of our Intelligence Agencies is vital in Britain”, I ask him whether he thinks that there would have been any such debate without Snowden’s revelations, and if Snowden did not hold GCHQ and NSA to the scrutiny that the ISC did not.

His answer categorically condemns Snowden: “In a modern democracy, you want to share everything with the public that can be properly shared. When you’re dealing with intelligence agencies there’s obviously a big area that can’t be shared. You cannot give information to the British public without it being available to the terrorists. He downloaded over 1 mil-

Ill u s

L

ast summer, Edward Snowden’s revelations demonstrated that the scale of GCHQ surveillance was beyond what anyone had previously imagined. His leaked documents revealed that the UK’s Tempora programme had the most comprehensive access to internet communications and metadata of any Five Eyes country (an intelligence alliance comprised of the US, the UK, Australia, Canada and New Zealand), as well as handling around 600m ‘telephone events’ a day by 2012. The widespread outrage at the biggest intelligence leak in a generation pressured an embarrassed government into scrutinizing the largely unchecked, extensive powers of the intelligence agencies. in the wake of the allegations, a defensive William Hague asserted that, “the legal framework is strong, ministerial oversight is strong.

GCHQ staff conduct themselves with the highest levels of integrity and legal compliance.”

Sir Malcolm Rifkind, Conservative MP for Kensington, is in charge of the governmental processes of oversight, as chair of the government’s Intelligence and Security Committee.

The Committee has been criticized by some for its public vindication of GCHQ’s methods:

lion top secret documents. He couldn’t possibly have read more than a tiny number of them; because of his background he could only have understood some of them, but he handed them all over to the press. Now that’s not whistleblowing, that is a political act. He was in a position of trust and I believe that was a very foolish, stupid and idiotic thing to do.”

When I try again to press him on whether he thinks there was any value in raising consciousness about the extent of surveillance, it is clear that he believes it would have been better if the general public remained ignorant. “We must accept that in our modern democracy, intelligence agencies must sometimes have the right to read people’s emails or listen to people’s telephone calls. The intelligence agencies were doing things that people didn’t know about, but I would have been very worried if that hadn’t been the case.”

“

You cannot give information to the public without it being available to terrorists The ISC’s capacity for oversight doess, however, rely upon the strength of current legislation; surveillance activity may

comply with the law, but acts such as the Regulation of Investigatory Powers Act and the Justice and Security Act have been widely criticized.The right to read people’s emails or record telephone calls falls under the legal category of interception: as Sir Malcolm rightly points out to me, a warrant for listening to telephone calls must be approved by a secretary of state. However, the collection of metadata or communications data (i.e recording the time, length of transmission and location, but not the content, of communications) can be authorized by a number of authorities, including HMRC, the FSA, and local police forces, which Rifkind claims does require “proper authority, just not from the secretary of state. Collection of such data is entirely necessary; without it, you could not deal with modern criminals.”

Rifkind also asserts that “collection of communications data is limited”; a recent report

by Justice, a human rights organization, found that, in total, there have been close to three million decisions taken by public bodies under RIPA in the last decade. Of the decisions we do know about, fewer than 5,000 (about 0.16 per cent) were approved by a judge. Similarly, in the last decade, the main complaints body under RIPA, the Investigatory Powers Tribunal, has upheld just 10 out of 1,100 complaints.

Nobody would deny that surveillance is a necessary activity for law enforcement and national security. But it is dangerous to normalize intrusive intelligence gathering on such an immense scale. Questions of privacy and individual freedoms raised by Sir Malcolm’s offhand remark “I’m a private citizen. I don’t want my emails being intercepted unless there’s a damn good reason for it” are immediately overwritten; “ultimately, I don’t mind if it helps catch terrorists.”

LIFE&STYLE John Evelyn

Spring is sprung, the grass is ris; I wonder where the gossip is.

The trimm’d and velveteen lawns of Oxford certainly did witness some aBalling behaviour last Saturday. The perfectly manicur’d lawns of Keble were pierced with the brutal spikes of a hundred stilettos and the borders of Lincoln transformed into a Pollock-esque marvel of spatters, a multi-coloured multitude of bodily fluids projectile-d artistically across the mud.

But most exciting of all, one of my intrepid foreign correspondents at St Anne’s, who braved the wilds of the A420 and the bracing winds of the Abingdon, sent back some top-secret information about the not-so-Beautiful Time that was had at their Belle Époque themed extravaganza.

Along with the Fin de Siècle theme came another Fin – the Monumental collapse of their mock-Eiffel tower. It was not Claire who had caused this apocalyptic vision of the fall of an international landmark (a kind of Day-After-Tomorrow but miniature and French). The committee, however, soon found themselves Fielding off accusations from angry Parisians, frothing and Flemming in anger, waving threatening baguettes and claiming broken shards of iron for Liberté, Egalité, Fraternité.

In a more delicate turn of events, the Creativity of another OSPL publication has been laid bare for all to see. Iz ‘ard to judge works of art objectively, but we’re excited to announce the recent creation of a piece worthy of Tit-an. Naturally it’s always good to keep a-Breast of the latest cultural creations, and the organic, Hol-istic aesthetic that’s been achieved here is one close to our Bosoms.

I must end on a happier note, however.

This day has witnessed Mutch rejoicing, as Our Dear Leader, bigger than Jesus and better than the Beatles, has returned with a New Zeal for a new term. Just in the Nick of time for the next issue, we welcome him with open arms.

Hit me with gossip,

John Evelyn

Got gossip? Email gossipevelyn@gmail.com with the juicy details!

Cherwell says:

Cringe Clubber

May Day... A time for laughter, singing, and, if you are a Morris Dancer, exorcising the devil (purportedly). But despite the best efforts of Oxford’s merry Grandads, the devil only ran away as far as Cowley. The unwitting fleshy vessels of the Art Bar provided the perfect Satanic refuge. Cherwell have found you a picture of these poor possessed souls.

Pity the bonnie lass in the middle, awash with devilish convulsions. Or the young lad on the far right, grimacing with vile contortion. We can only imagine the pain of their suffering.

Creaming Spires

Freddie Popplewell New, 1st Year History and Politics Prompt Historian looks to add a measure of love I must confess that ‘oh dear’ was my first thought of the evening, something having gone wrong before Rachel had even arrived.

Our agreed rendezvous for a cocktail - the Duke of Cambridge – had been booked out for a private party.

I was, though, determined not to fall at the first hurdle, and applied all my resourcefulness in finding us another romantic location. After much deliberation I plumped for Angels, the cocktail bar situated a whole 7 yards away from the Duke of Cambridge.

Fortunately for me, this was not a sign of things to come. My apprehensions of a potentially awkward encounter were allayed by easy flowing conversation involving mutual appreciations for Masterchef and innovative bop costumes.

The barman sought the opportunity to drizzle a love heart into one of Rachel’s cocktails.

Either the two of us had the appearance of couple, or the barman thought that I needed all the help I could get on what was clearly a first date. In any case, Rachel was great company on what was a thoroughly enjoyable evening.

Pretty We had a nice conversation Probably not

Rachel Harpole Balliol, 2nd Year Modern Languages Fine Lady seeks her very own Ser Jaimie Lannister My motivation for going on a Blind Date was firmly altruistic, as my friends clamoured to be entertained by the thought of me sitting through an excruciatingly awkward date. As I’m such a good friend, I obliged.

My initial impressions were highly positive when Freddie suggested the Duke of Cambridge as a venue, as not only are cocktails delicious but alcohol seemed like an excellent idea. However, due to an administrative error we ended up at the slightly-less-classy Angels; poor organisation, but at least he was punctual - and nothing says ‘sexy’ like a guy who turns up on time.

Despite initially stilted introductions, conversation flowed fairly easily over unnaturally pink cocktails. He seemed like a really nice guy, but when he mentioned that he didn’t watch Game of Thrones I knew for sure things were never going to work out between us, although I had a perfectly pleasant time.

Luckily the experience was nowhere near as awkward as I had initially feared, but unfortunately there was definitely no romance in the air.

He had great hair Easy-going Probably not

Are you tired of being single and alone? Volunteer for a Blind Date at editor@cherwell.org

The Hipster: how did it even happen? He’s more likely to go to his lectures than the Parkend cheese floor, and now that Babylove has closed down you have no idea where on earth he goes in the evenings. You’ve never seen him in daylight, and you only went to the Bullingdon once, for No Scrubs, and you didn’t like it because you don’t suit scrunchies, dungarees, or MD. How do you meet him? You dream that one night he’ll mysteriously turn up at your college bop with several other people that you don’t recognise and be instantly attracted to your quirky-yet-ironic costume and you’ll fall deeply in love – you’ll be his muse, he’ll be your artiste, you’ll have fantastic sex, buy mathcing black turtlenecks and cigarettes (roll-ups, of course), discuss intersectionality and feminism and live happily ever after in Cowley.

In reality, he’ll happen to stumble across you hurling the contents of your stomach into the men’s toilet, and take pity on you and walk you home, then you’ll run up to him every time you see him in a club in the hopes that one day it’ll happen. Note to self: slut-dropping every time he is in the vicinity doesn’t really work on him as a pulling technique. And it definitely gets you some weird looks in Cellar.

If you do manage to go home with him, be careful. The last one I went home with had difficulties staying suitably up to the challenge, possibly due to the large quantity of drugs that I found in his desk drawer, and when it finally happened, it only happened for five minutes before he became so afraid of his headboard banging against the wall waking up his housemate that we had to stop.

There’s something endearing about a man who quotes French poetry in public but is an awkward, shy mess in private. He may give you black coffee in the morning and he may have a collection of vinyl in his room (but often, oddly, no record player) and a poster from On The Road on his wall, but unless you know him really, really well it’s fairly rare to get him to laugh at anything. Least of all himself.

16.05.14 | Cherwell

Life&Style | 13

“Writers have to be observers extraordinaire” Rhiannon Gibbs-Harris speaks to author Chang-rae Lee about his the self, bad reviews and golf

I

went to a high school where everyone stood up as the teacher entered the room and sat only when told to. If you were late, you were locked out of the classroom. It was very formal to say the least. So when Chang-rae Lee, prizewinning author, Yale graduate, and Professor of Creative Writing at Princeton, actually replied to an e-mail I had sent him without any form of address and beginning with “BTW” I was actually quite taken aback.

This youthfulness is unexpected but refreshing in a 49-year-old Ivy League professor. Perhaps it is why his latest novel, On Such a Full Sea, has drawn so many comparisons to The Hunger Games. Even Aloft, centred upon a middle-aged man, has a youthful optimism.

Lee seems to have always enjoyed a cheerful disposition; as a child fascinated by fighter pilots he “always imagined (him)self as an ace”, soundly ignoring the impossibility of his dream considering his poor eyesight and motion sickness.

Lee was born in 1965 in South Korea, before emigrating to America at the age of three.

He went on to attend the prestigious Phillips Exeter Academy and Yale University, worked on Wall Street for a year, and then studied for an MFA at the University of Oregon. His five novels have seen him win the PEN/Hemingway Award, and be shortlisted for a Pulitzer Prize and a Dayton Literary Peace Prize.

A recurring theme in all of his works is that of isolation stemming from race, age, gender, or wealth. In his most well-known novel, Native Speaker, the non-native English-speaking protagonist speaks English just too precisely to be a convincing ‘native’. This attention to fine detail is certainly a trademark of Lee’s, a self-professed “obsessive person” who writes and rewrites his sentences “a dozen times or more”.

His words are carefully considered and beautifully constructed – he is obviously a lover of language and this is evident in the sheer range of his literary influences which include, among others, the works of Zola, Homer, Shakespeare, Dostoyevsky, Hemingway, and D.H. Lawrence.

There is no Surrealist stream-of-consciousness for Lee. For him, writing is a craft which “without a certain furious attention to the sentence at hand”, he becomes lost.

He disdains chemical enhancement in writing, saying, “Writers have to be observers extraordinaire, but also must have ability to quarrel with what’s at hand, as well as to question the very self who observes.”

The fact that the self is so important to him also seems to be linked to his love of golf. Golf is in many ways the ultimate sport for the career observer, as the player has no control over

anything after they have hit the ball.

According to Lee, when one is playing golf “an infinity prevails, which of course can lead to greatness and beauty but more often invites tragedy.”

Although that might be seen by some as rather pretentious, Lee is also selfaware and understands how he is perceived but also how that itself is out of his control. He comments that due to On Such a Full Sea, his latest novel, “maybe in the end (he)’ll be seen as a Marxist writer”.

This might sound incongruous coming from a Yale-educated Princeton Professor, but by highlighting this absurdity Lee has definitely shown that he understands his own privelege.

Ursula Le Guin

The Science Column

I

Anna Feeney

magine a 4-tonne, 20-ft long sloth. A 9-ft long sabretooth salmon. Hippo-sized wombats. Gorilla-sized lemurs. These animals, which might seem like the production of a slightly disturbed 5 year old (or Tim Burton), did, in fact, once exist. They all became extinct around the end of the Pleistocene era, leaving entire continents suddenly a lot emptier. In South America, for example, 70% of animal species that weighed more than 10kg went extinct.

It seems that a mixture of climate change and humans discovering the joys of projectile weapons were responsible for wiping out most of the megafauna on earth.

The obvious exceptions to these mass extinctions reside in Africa; people still pay thousands to go see hippos, rhinos, and elephants, leading David Attenborough to call it the ‘wildest place on earth’. Somewhat ironically, the theory is that the only reason some landscapes in Africa are still so ‘wild’ is that the animals co-evolved with humans and weren’t suddenly surprised by a wave of deadly efficient, spearhappy, bipeds. Their continued existence is by no means secure though; poaching of the last existing megafauna is the third most profitable illegal trade in the world after weapons and drugs – it could well be that they will soon join the ranks of the majestic dead.

Some pretty drastic measures are being taken to attempt to save them, including strapping drugged rhinos to the bottom of helicop-

ters and airlifting them to secret locations (if you need a quick diversion try Googling ‘Flight of the Rhino’.) Others have an even more wild proposition to relocate them into countries that lost their own megafauna thousands of years ago, such as the United States. This has understandably caused quite a stir; many Westerners are very fond of these behemoths with very large teeth, but they are perhaps even fonder of the fact they are not the ones who have to live with them on a daily basis.

But it wasn’t so long ago that America did have cheetahs (explaining why the pronghorn antelope in Arizona is the second-fastest animal in the world, outpaced only by the African cheetah; they evolved to run away from the cheetahs’ cousins!). North America also boasted beavers the size of black bears, dire wolves about twice as big as grey wolves (G. R. R. Martin didn’t make them up), and, of course, the woolly mammoth. These animals did a lot more than wander around looking supremely, majestically awesome; they provided key services to the ecosystem, distributing nutrients and assisting in seed growth by their ability to produce gigantic poo piles over large distances.

Rewilding, then, is still very controversial; people say it’s playing God, and that it’s a doomed attempt to recreate a romanticised primitive past. It does present intriguing possibilities for revitalising interest in conservation as well as ecosystems though; rewilding might just provide the optimistic publicity boost necessary for the conservation of the world’s last megafauna.

“

It’s fascinating what a given reader will bring to a novel of a serious genre irresponsibly, superficially.

As a result, his imagined world carries little weight of reality.”

But Lee does not seem like a superficial person. His novels touch on such serious issues as suicide, racism, class, gender inequality, and sex; he is not an author to be taken lightly. His response to Le Guin does not mention her by name, but he does pointedly say “It’s always fascinating to me what a given reader will bring to a novel, this particular set of implements, baggage, lenses. It’s also sometimes startling that certain readers’ sets aren’t wider.”

Despite Chang-rae Lee’s body of work primarily being based in the form of novels, my personal favourite is his short story Sea Urchin, in which the teenage narrator finds himself in a Seoul restaurant and tastes sea urchin for the first time.It makes him sick, but he returns the next day for more. This story links food and sex in a clever, subtle way, and I suppose these are two words that apply very strongly to Lee; very clever and very subtle.

Country Diary

Bang!

Rewilding

(author of The Left Hand of Darkness) wrote a scathing review of On Such a Full Sea in The Guardian. her criticism largely based on the fact that the novel treats its themes superficially; she argues that, “Lee uses essential elements

P

Fiddler’s Island

ort Meadow looks different before a swim.

It is colder and wilder, perhaps because your whole consciousness is focussed on the river. The river is what frames the meadow – it is the point at which the land stops being Our Oxford and starts being “the wilderness” leading on to Binsey and the woods beyond. If you look at a map, you can see the way that the Cherwell encloses the city, creating pockets of land with names and personalities – meadows, allotments, and parks.

Just south of Port Meadow is an area of land called Fiddler’s Island, where the Medley Bridge leads to a fork in the river which separates the Thames from Castle Mill Stream and the Oxford Canal. Here you find an area of water which was authorised for public bathing in 1852. There are other places to swim in the city – Parson’s Pleasure, Tumbling Bay. Worcester Lake has been done by many, as has Uni Parks and the divided stream of the Cherwell under Magdalen Bridge.

But there is something about Port Meadow, its simultaneous closeness and removed-ness from the city, which makes it a good place to start for prospective wild swimmers.

At college, we bundle up like children going to the seaside – towels, jumpers, flip-flops. But it’s only April, and it’s a grey day, and there’s an air of trepidation as well as excitement in the walk through Jericho and over the railway bridge. We have done this in January, February and March, in three jumpers and a coat, when the river was flooded and wild and even the ducks sat on the canal boats fearing

the strength of the current. The water was a whirlpool – too dangerous to jump in, we lowered ourselves down, holding onto the bridge to avoid being swept downstream. This time though, we brace ourselves and jump, eyes closed and breath held.

There’s a wonderful feeling of freedom that comes from being in the water, especially here where it is deep enough to kick your legs out without touching river-bed. It’s not like swimming in the sea, where you feel like the waves are washing you clean. The water of the Thames is brown and murky, and we emerge with mud and scratches on our bodies from climbing out over the bank, skin raw and pink and hastily covered in towels and clothing. This is not a baptism in the sense of feeling cleansed and refreshed by the water – in fact you feel like you need a long bath and bed as soon as possible.

But it is a rite. This is how you become part of the Meadow – reclaim it as something human.

Not in the way that destroys trees, and erects housing complexes and roads, but in the way that makes humans an intrinsic part of the landscape, and it a part of us. Swimming in summer, when the Meadow is buzzing with people, this feeling is more acute. People line up to watch the crazy students playing on the rope swing on Fiddler’s Island.

The river is a part of the personality of Oxford, where rowing and punting and crossing the Magdalen bridge are part of the daily fabric of life. These things are also what separate us from real life. This is what you feel when swimming – that nowhere else could being in the river mean quite so much.

14 | Life&Style

Houmous Girl

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Her eyes were like twin pools of infinity. The buttons on her quirky dungarees were burnished by the cool light of a freezer crammed to the brim with fishfingers. The own-brand Weetabix she held in her delicate, slender fingers gleamed with a transcendental lustre. Rower Lad’s honest heart swelled with love.

“H-hi! How are you?” he asked hesitantly. The rapier-sharp wit he exhibited when playing FIFA 14 after a few turbo shandies with the boys was nowhere to be found.

Only the other day he had called someone a cockmuncher after they’d beat him on penalties! Yet another example of his classic banter.

That was the sort of doltishly homophobic humour you just couldn’t teach. You either had it or you didn’t, and normally Rower Lad had it in buckets. But now, confronted with this vision in kooky floral-print tights, all his charm had deserted him.

“Not bad,” replied Houmous Girl, slightly too enthusiastically.

Her chirpy demeanour belied the sudden flutter of kooky floralprint butterflies in her belly. Seen anew, and shorn of the putrescent odour of WKD which had accompanied their brief and saliva-filled tryst, she had to admit he was a pretty handsome bloke. She mentally compared Rower Lad’s oaken biceps to the limp Pepperami which drooped from the baggy sleeves of Obnoxiously Opinionated Guy’s t-shirt. In this contest of course there was only ever going to be one winner.

“You’re Rower Lad, right?” she asked. “Me? Yes! How are you?” he replied.

“I think you already asked that,” pointed out Houmous Girl. They both considered this suggestion for a while. It seemed pretty hard to ignore. Rower Lad gazed at her forlornly.

It was like seeing a sad little puppy gazing wistfully out through the dark eyes of a 16-stone, bevvy legend. Houmous Girl knew she was going to have to take the initiative. Thankfully, three years of intense study of gender theory had taught her that it was probably basically fine for a girl to ask a guy if he fancied a drink.

Rower Lad turned to leave, his heart dropping through the ketchup-stained linoleum.

“Why don’t you ask me on a date?” Houmous Girl asked with a smile.

Cherwell | 16.05.14

St Catz 53

Joy Aston and Sophia Lowes

%

Sophie Hume and Axel Forssberg

Hertford’s heavenly hotness or St Anne’s attractive allure?

Vote now at www.cherwell.org

Top 3 Gold-dig Spots to...

1

Port & Policy

The Mecca of the Red Trouser Brigade, you’re sure to find a wannabe MP with a country pile in the Cotswolds - as long as you can stomach the fortified wine and the even more unbearable right-wing chat.

2

Said Business School

The building may be hideous but it’s filled the next generation of Goldman Sachs investment bankers and corporate CEOS though if you’ve seen The Wolf of Wall Street you’ll know to be wary of these suits.

Emanuelle, Regent’s Park College Tortoise

3

Think you’ve got what it takes? Email lifestyle@ cherwell.org to enter the famously fierce competition

HUMANS OF OXFORD

Camera VIP

Grab a bottle of champagne, take some style tips from the Made in Chelsea crew and try not to open your mouth, lest the lack of Etonian accent give away your slight deficiency in breeding.

3 Seco0 Inter nd view

How long have you been living at Regent’s?

Yonks. I’m in college photos from 1927. I told the students I was a guy when I first met them- they swallowed it until the seventies.

Where are you from?

Can’t remember. Memory’s not what it used to be now that I’m on the verge of my eleventy-first birthday.

Will you be celebrating your birthday at all?

The students are throwing me a party on Saturday. Good thing, too.

The drunk little shits have dropped me enough times. Come along if you want, everyone’s welcome.

Favourite way to spend a sunny afternoon?

Smashing gender binaries over a plate of lettuce.

Wadstock Committee: “Testing, testing... my will to live”

Ro

��

1 0 1

“You asked me once, what was in Room 101. I told you that you knew the answer already.

Everyone knows it. The thing that is in Room 101 is the worst thing in the world.”

O’Brien

College hoodies This is the most obnoxious of all Oxfordrelated merch. An ‘OXFORD’ t-shirt might brand you as ‘just another tourist’, but the College hoodie is subtly more obnoxious. It says, “I’m an Oxford insider, nay, I AM Oxford”. Sometimes worn by the Etonian hoping to gain plebeian acceptance. Most often worn by the embittered Person who Wanted a Blue. They will never get it, and they will never get over it, but a college hoodie assures them that there’s always next year.

Investigation: Local council elections “Unless young people vote, the government has no incentive to deal with the issues” With 50% of City Council seats up for grabs on May 22nd, C+ investigates whether students care about the election, and if they should Hustings: Who said what?

C went along to the Local Election hustings which took place at OUSU council +

H

ustings for City councillor candidates were held prior to OUSU Council on Wednesday of 1st Week in Magdalen College Auditorium. There were candidates present representing the Conservatives, the Greens, Labour, the Liberal Democrats and the Monster Raving Loony Party.

Four out of the five candidates on the panel had either studied at, or are currently studying at Oxford. Of those currently studying at Oxford, Aled Jones is running in Holywell Ward representing Labour, while

ON MAY 22ND, elections will be held for 50% of the seats on the Oxford City Council. A survey conducted by C+ has found that, whilst 61% of students plan to vote in the coming elections, only 15% would consider becoming a candidate.

In light of this, and with a considerable number of current or former Oxford students running, C+ spoke to Labour’s Aled Jones and Eleanor Law, along with Maryam Ahmed and James Johnson of the Conservative Party, and Ruthi Brandt of the Green Party to discover why they’re running, and what we can expect from them.

Ahmed described herself as a “working class girl from an immigrant family”, going on to say that, ”I studied Engineering at Christ Church and now I’m doing a PhD at Wolfson.” She emphasised that, “I don’t mindlessly tow the party line. I’m a proud Conservative but I will applaud sensible policies and slap down stupid ones, regardless of party loyalty. Our Labour City Council is seriously lacking in common sense. This makes me angry and it should make you angry, too. I want to stand up for students and be the voice of reason and compassion on our City Council.”

Ruthi Brandt told C+ that, “ I came to Oxford to pursue a research degree in animal behaviour and during my time as a student I campaigned on issues ranging from wildlife conservation to climate change.” She claimed to be motivated by love, “I love this city, and have made it my home, but there are many things that need protecting and improving, and I want to be in a position to be able to do that.”

Eleanor Law, a third year at Hertford, explained that she was driven by a desire to counter the destructive work of national government. “I’m standing to be a councillor because l’m horrified by the cuts the Conservative/Liberal Democrat government have been making to our services, in particular the NHS, and their divisive, nasty and inaccurate attitude towards unemployed people and those receiving benefits.”

James Johnson of Brasenose said that he wanted to work to make the interface between students and the council more successful. “After living in Oxford for three and a half years, I’ve decided to stand as I feel there is a disconnect between students and the city council.”

Aled Jones, running for Labour, wants to use his student political experience on a bigger stage. He told C+, “As a previous chair of Oxford

Maryam Ahmed is as a Conservative running in Carfax Ward.

The husts were characterised by consensus, with candidates being quick to agree with the people who asked questions, making it somewhat difficult to distinguish between them. Oxford Covered Market, the County Council’s homelessness cuts and the City Council’s policies affecting student housing in Oxford were all discussed, as well as the Mad Hatter revealing his unorthodox policy for everyone to marry a foreigner within the year.

In response to one question, all candidates, except for The Mad Hatter, were willing to identify as feminists.

In summary, the panel appeared to largely agree, with all candidates expressing progressive political positions.

University Labour Club, I’ve seen first-hand the value that the Oxford City Council provide to the city, and it would be fantastic to be able to help provide that support to the students of Oxford as a councillor.”

Stuart O’Reilly is running for UKIP. “I’m a second year historian at Pembroke College and I’m standing as a candidate for Hinksey Park as I believe the Labour administrated City Council are making decisions that will prove to be disastrous for Oxford.”

Often there is, as James Johnson expressed, a “disconnect” between students and the city itself, so C+ set each of our candidates to the task of explaining why students ought to care about the upcoming elections.

Ruthi Brandt began by pointing out, “Students are part of this city. Even if they are in Oxford for only a few years the actions of the city council will have an affect on their lives here. And who knows, they might end up staying here after they graduate, like so many of us seem to do.”

“

Students need to vote to show that we do care Aled Jones agreed, saying that, “Students should vote in these elections because ultimately the decisions that the City Council make affect their lives, and it’s important that they use the voice they collectively possess. From housing opportunities to making cycling safer, students have an opportunity on the 22nd to vote and help to shape those decisions.”

A pattern in these responses became apparent as Stuart O’Reilly told C+, “Students should vote in these local elections as we are as much citizens of Oxford as those outside the university. Students make up a significant proportion of the city and are affected by many City Council policies.”

Maryam Ahmed turned on the current council, and suggested that students ought to vote in order to change the status quo. “You deserve to be represented by someone who has the courage to speak up for what’s right and actu-

Soundbites Do you plan on voting in the upcoming local council elections?

Would you ever consider running for a local council position?

C+ brings you the best pleas, promises and from the build-up to May 22nd’s poll “Green councillors are – and will continue to – push for a council-run letting agency, with no registration fees. This will guarantee a better deal for tenants, which today can suffer from poor conditions as well as rip-off letting fees.”

Ruthi Brandt, Green Party candidate

No (39%)

No (79%)

“ I want to know why, despite the death of a student and a 680-strong petition, the Council hasn’t installed a pedestrian crossing outside the King’s Arms. The City Council has an awful lot of tricky questions to answer.”

Unsure (6%)

Maryam Ahmed, Conservative Party candidate

“Students need to vote to show that we do care, and that we are engaged with politics, and that we will not allow the government to destroy vital services.”

Yes (15%)

Yes (61%)

Eleanor Law, Labour Party candidate

“I see diverse groups of people and people coming to work in the UK as a really good thing. It boosts our economy and gives much better world-vision and harmony to our country.”

Tony Brett, Liberal Democrat candidate and current Deputy Lord Mayor

Source: Cherwell Survey of 150 students

ally get things done, rather than the current cohort of ineffectual pen-pushers running Oxford City Council.”

Eleanor Law combined these approaches, linking student participation in elections with greater influence in decisions. She told C+, “Students should vote in this election (and the European elections) because unless young people vote, the government has no incentive to deal with the issues and problems that young people and students face. Young people have been hit hard by the coalition government because they think they can get away with it because students won’t vote. Students need to vote to show that we do care, and that we are engaged with politics, and that we will not allow the government to destroy vital services.”

C+ then questioned how the candidates would proceed were they to be elected. Maryam Ahmed wants to know “why the Council has capped the number of rental properties in town, making the cost of living out skyrocket”, and “why the Council is planning to build student flats next to a noisy railway line, using us as sound buffers.”

In turn, Aled Jones focused on the homelessness issue which blights Oxford. He told C+, “As a local councillor I’d focus upon fighting the

cuts to homelessness provision caused by the Tory-led County Council, working with student societies and organisations to ensure a better student experience in Oxford, and ensuring that affordable and quality housing is prioritised.”

He said he would also engage with closing the apparent council-student gap. “I would specifically focus on ensuring that the City Council have as close a relationship with students as possible; working with OUSU and other organisations, and would also run regular surgeries in student JCRs.” Ruthi Brandt’s ambitions were, unsurprisingly, eco-friendly, “As a cyclist and an environmentalist, I want to greatly improve the cycling infrastructure in the city. Cycling should be made safer and easier to undertake, and more on-street bicycle parking should be available.

She went on to discuss planning projects such as the expansion to the Westgate centre.

“I would like to make sure that these projects are properly thought through – that they are indeed beneficial to the city, sustainable (for example – we shouldn’t be building in the city’s green belt!) and connected to the needs of the whole city.”

The UKIP candidate Stuart O’Reilly echoed

Brandt’s concern for the state of the city, this time focusing upon the Covered Market.

“The Covered Market is in real danger of losing its character as a space for local independent traders. He went on to criticise the fact thar “residents’ voices are not being listened to on issues such as the Port Meadow development.

Homelessness was an issue which surfaced again, O’Reilly said, ”If elected I would make tackling the issue of homelessness the number one priority – current councillors seem more concerned with blaming each other than sit-

“

I want the city council to stand up for students ting down with all parties and coming to agreement on policies.”

James Johnson explained that he was concerned with the transparency and effectiveness of the council. “I want the city council to stand up for students, to be a visible and more

effective voice for them and their concerns. The other Conservative candidates and I will work to help Oxford students across the board, particularly on housing and rents.”

Eleanor Law explained that she feels strongly about the Oxford housing situation. She told C+, “I will campaign for more affordable housing, as Oxford is currently the least affordable city in the country, and the high house prices have a knock on impact on rents, effecting both students and permanent residents. I would also continue to campaign for a living wage across the city, and oppose the cuts the Conservative County Council are making to resources for the homeless.”

In the survey conducted by C+, one anonymous respondent commented, “I think it is disappointing that many of those running for Oxford City Council have little or no interest in local politics but are motivated purely by ambition”. However, following an in-depth investigation by C+ into each of the candidates’ policies, it would seem that the upcoming elections have much more at stake.

Ahmed and Brandt are running in Carfax ward, O’Reilly in Hinksey Park, Jones in Holywell, and Law in Summertown.

“I would aim to ensure students were aware of what the City Council do and encourage them to contact their local councillors over issues and concerns they might have.”

Stuart O’Reilly, UKIP candidate

Quick facts

50% 7am-10pm 24 Percentage of council seats to be elected on May 22nd

Polling station open hours

Number of parish wards which make up Oxford City Council

Investigation: Local council elections “Unless young people vote, the government has no incentive to deal with the issues” With 50% of City Council seats up for grabs on May 22nd, C+ investigates whether students care about the election, and if they should Hustings: Who said what?

C went along to the Local Election hustings which took place at OUSU council +

H

ustings for City councillor candidates were held prior to OUSU Council on Wednesday of 1st Week in Magdalen College Auditorium. There were candidates present representing the Conservatives, the Greens, Labour, the Liberal Democrats and the Monster Raving Loony Party.

Four out of the five candidates on the panel had either studied at, or are currently studying at Oxford. Of those currently studying at Oxford, Aled Jones is running in Holywell Ward representing Labour, while

ON MAY 22ND, elections will be held for 50% of the seats on the Oxford City Council. A survey conducted by C+ has found that, whilst 61% of students plan to vote in the coming elections, only 15% would consider becoming a candidate.

In light of this, and with a considerable number of current or former Oxford students running, C+ spoke to Labour’s Aled Jones and Eleanor Law, along with Maryam Ahmed and James Johnson of the Conservative Party, and Ruthi Brandt of the Green Party to discover why they’re running, and what we can expect from them.

Ahmed described herself as a “working class girl from an immigrant family”, going on to say that, ”I studied Engineering at Christ Church and now I’m doing a PhD at Wolfson.” She emphasised that, “I don’t mindlessly tow the party line. I’m a proud Conservative but I will applaud sensible policies and slap down stupid ones, regardless of party loyalty. Our Labour City Council is seriously lacking in common sense. This makes me angry and it should make you angry, too. I want to stand up for students and be the voice of reason and compassion on our City Council.”

Ruthi Brandt told C+ that, “ I came to Oxford to pursue a research degree in animal behaviour and during my time as a student I campaigned on issues ranging from wildlife conservation to climate change.” She claimed to be motivated by love, “I love this city, and have made it my home, but there are many things that need protecting and improving, and I want to be in a position to be able to do that.”

Eleanor Law, a third year at Hertford, explained that she was driven by a desire to counter the destructive work of national government. “I’m standing to be a councillor because l’m horrified by the cuts the Conservative/Liberal Democrat government have been making to our services, in particular the NHS, and their divisive, nasty and inaccurate attitude towards unemployed people and those receiving benefits.”

James Johnson of Brasenose said that he wanted to work to make the interface between students and the council more successful. “After living in Oxford for three and a half years, I’ve decided to stand as I feel there is a disconnect between students and the city council.”

Aled Jones, running for Labour, wants to use his student political experience on a bigger stage. He told C+, “As a previous chair of Oxford

Maryam Ahmed is as a Conservative running in Carfax Ward.

The husts were characterised by consensus, with candidates being quick to agree with the people who asked questions, making it somewhat difficult to distinguish between them. Oxford Covered Market, the County Council’s homelessness cuts and the City Council’s policies affecting student housing in Oxford were all discussed, as well as the Mad Hatter revealing his unorthodox policy for everyone to marry a foreigner within the year.

In response to one question, all candidates, except for The Mad Hatter, were willing to identify as feminists.

In summary, the panel appeared to largely agree, with all candidates expressing progressive political positions.

University Labour Club, I’ve seen first-hand the value that the Oxford City Council provide to the city, and it would be fantastic to be able to help provide that support to the students of Oxford as a councillor.”

Stuart O’Reilly is running for UKIP. “I’m a second year historian at Pembroke College and I’m standing as a candidate for Hinksey Park as I believe the Labour administrated City Council are making decisions that will prove to be disastrous for Oxford.”

Often there is, as James Johnson expressed, a “disconnect” between students and the city itself, so C+ set each of our candidates to the task of explaining why students ought to care about the upcoming elections.

Ruthi Brandt began by pointing out, “Students are part of this city. Even if they are in Oxford for only a few years the actions of the city council will have an affect on their lives here. And who knows, they might end up staying here after they graduate, like so many of us seem to do.”

“

Students need to vote to show that we do care Aled Jones agreed, saying that, “Students should vote in these elections because ultimately the decisions that the City Council make affect their lives, and it’s important that they use the voice they collectively possess. From housing opportunities to making cycling safer, students have an opportunity on the 22nd to vote and help to shape those decisions.”

A pattern in these responses became apparent as Stuart O’Reilly told C+, “Students should vote in these local elections as we are as much citizens of Oxford as those outside the university. Students make up a significant proportion of the city and are affected by many City Council policies.”

Maryam Ahmed turned on the current council, and suggested that students ought to vote in order to change the status quo. “You deserve to be represented by someone who has the courage to speak up for what’s right and actu-

Soundbites Do you plan on voting in the upcoming local council elections?

Would you ever consider running for a local council position?

C+ brings you the best pleas, promises and from the build-up to May 22nd’s poll “Green councillors are – and will continue to – push for a council-run letting agency, with no registration fees. This will guarantee a better deal for tenants, which today can suffer from poor conditions as well as rip-off letting fees.”

Ruthi Brandt, Green Party candidate

No (39%)

No (79%)

“ I want to know why, despite the death of a student and a 680-strong petition, the Council hasn’t installed a pedestrian crossing outside the King’s Arms. The City Council has an awful lot of tricky questions to answer.”

Unsure (6%)

Maryam Ahmed, Conservative Party candidate

“Students need to vote to show that we do care, and that we are engaged with politics, and that we will not allow the government to destroy vital services.”

Yes (15%)

Yes (61%)

Eleanor Law, Labour Party candidate

“I see diverse groups of people and people coming to work in the UK as a really good thing. It boosts our economy and gives much better world-vision and harmony to our country.”

Tony Brett, Liberal Democrat candidate and current Deputy Lord Mayor

Source: Cherwell Survey of 150 students

ally get things done, rather than the current cohort of ineffectual pen-pushers running Oxford City Council.”

Eleanor Law combined these approaches, linking student participation in elections with greater influence in decisions. She told C+, “Students should vote in this election (and the European elections) because unless young people vote, the government has no incentive to deal with the issues and problems that young people and students face. Young people have been hit hard by the coalition government because they think they can get away with it because students won’t vote. Students need to vote to show that we do care, and that we are engaged with politics, and that we will not allow the government to destroy vital services.”

C+ then questioned how the candidates would proceed were they to be elected. Maryam Ahmed wants to know “why the Council has capped the number of rental properties in town, making the cost of living out skyrocket”, and “why the Council is planning to build student flats next to a noisy railway line, using us as sound buffers.”

In turn, Aled Jones focused on the homelessness issue which blights Oxford. He told C+, “As a local councillor I’d focus upon fighting the

cuts to homelessness provision caused by the Tory-led County Council, working with student societies and organisations to ensure a better student experience in Oxford, and ensuring that affordable and quality housing is prioritised.”

He said he would also engage with closing the apparent council-student gap. “I would specifically focus on ensuring that the City Council have as close a relationship with students as possible; working with OUSU and other organisations, and would also run regular surgeries in student JCRs.” Ruthi Brandt’s ambitions were, unsurprisingly, eco-friendly, “As a cyclist and an environmentalist, I want to greatly improve the cycling infrastructure in the city. Cycling should be made safer and easier to undertake, and more on-street bicycle parking should be available.

She went on to discuss planning projects such as the expansion to the Westgate centre.

“I would like to make sure that these projects are properly thought through – that they are indeed beneficial to the city, sustainable (for example – we shouldn’t be building in the city’s green belt!) and connected to the needs of the whole city.”

The UKIP candidate Stuart O’Reilly echoed

Brandt’s concern for the state of the city, this time focusing upon the Covered Market.

“The Covered Market is in real danger of losing its character as a space for local independent traders. He went on to criticise the fact thar “residents’ voices are not being listened to on issues such as the Port Meadow development.

Homelessness was an issue which surfaced again, O’Reilly said, ”If elected I would make tackling the issue of homelessness the number one priority – current councillors seem more concerned with blaming each other than sit-

“

I want the city council to stand up for students ting down with all parties and coming to agreement on policies.”

James Johnson explained that he was concerned with the transparency and effectiveness of the council. “I want the city council to stand up for students, to be a visible and more

effective voice for them and their concerns. The other Conservative candidates and I will work to help Oxford students across the board, particularly on housing and rents.”

Eleanor Law explained that she feels strongly about the Oxford housing situation. She told C+, “I will campaign for more affordable housing, as Oxford is currently the least affordable city in the country, and the high house prices have a knock on impact on rents, effecting both students and permanent residents. I would also continue to campaign for a living wage across the city, and oppose the cuts the Conservative County Council are making to resources for the homeless.”

In the survey conducted by C+, one anonymous respondent commented, “I think it is disappointing that many of those running for Oxford City Council have little or no interest in local politics but are motivated purely by ambition”. However, following an in-depth investigation by C+ into each of the candidates’ policies, it would seem that the upcoming elections have much more at stake.

Ahmed and Brandt are running in Carfax ward, O’Reilly in Hinksey Park, Jones in Holywell, and Law in Summertown.

“I would aim to ensure students were aware of what the City Council do and encourage them to contact their local councillors over issues and concerns they might have.”

Stuart O’Reilly, UKIP candidate

Quick facts

50% 7am-10pm 24 Percentage of council seats to be elected on May 22nd

Polling station open hours

Number of parish wards which make up Oxford City Council

“It is silly to vote in terms of national issues” C+ examines the current state of Oxford City Council Deputy Lord Mayor Tony Brett explains what the Lib Dems have done in opposition

Wolvercote

Summertown

I

am proud to be a Liberal Democrat and am proud of Liberal Democrat policy. No, I am not proud of some things the Coalition has done but yes, I am proud of the many things LibDems have achieved in government, despite having less than 10% of commons seats and 15% of government seats. No income tax for those earning less than £10k, ending detention of asylum-seeking children, delivering £2.5bn of pupil premium, and protecting freedom of speech are just some of those achievements. I should say also that Oxford LibDems are not in coalition with the Tories.

There are no Tories on Oxford City Council. It is run by Labour with a LibDem opposition.

So what have we LibDems done and what do we care most about in Oxford? We totally oppose the Council’s cap on the numbers of shared houses and its financial penalties on Colleges and University building purposebuilt student accommodation. Both these things just make your rents higher and I believe damage the city for everyone. We believe students, as residents just as much as anyone else, have every right to equal housing access.

They are an essential part of Oxford’s life and economy.

On homelessness, an issue I know many care deeply about, I believe Labour missed a huge opportunity by rejecting a LibDem City Council budget amendment recently to give its support more money following the Tory County Council’s cuts. I am proud that two of our LibDem candidates, Jean and Conor, nominated the Chair of Oxford Homeless pathways for a Lord Mayor’s Certificate of Honour – which she received.

The Covered Market is a jewel in Oxford’s crown and we’ve been appalled at how the Council has tried to bleed it dry with incredibly high rent rises and has reneged on its promise to set rent at the rate recommended by an independent arbitrator recommended.

LibDems think the covered Market is much more important than that and support it fully.

We also have a good track record of pushing hard for safer cycling in Oxford – we want more cycle safety boxes and much better road surfaces and cycle lanes for cyclists.

On detention of LGBTQ asylum seekers, and indeed detention of any asylum seeker, I think my views are clear that human rights are being abused; asylum seekers come to the UK because they are running for their lives, they are not lazy!

It is just not acceptable to send an LGBTQ person back to a country where their liberty or even the life would be at risk because of the sexuality or gender identity.

On immigration, again, I see diverse groups of people and people coming to work in the UK as a really good thing. It boosts our economy and gives much better world-vision and harmony to our country. I abhor the sense that some people are more valid or welcome than others just because of their nationality – that’s absolutely wrong. I note that LibDems are the only party that have pinned our flag clearly to the mast on EU membership too.

Labour and the Tories are still dithering.

Oxford City Council: Wards and current councillors

Headington Hill and Northway

Marston

St. Margaret’s

Jericho and Osney

Headington

North

Barton and Sandhills Quarry and Risinghurst

Holywell

Carfax

St. Clement’s St. Mary’s

Churchill

Cowley Marsh Lye Valley Key

Hinksey Park

Iffley Fields

Green Party Cowley Labour Party

Rose Hill and Iffley Blackbird Leys

Liberal Democrats

Littlemore

Independent

Northfield Brook

= one councillor

C+ spoke to the Mad Hatter about why we need a loony candidate

T

he sight of the Mad Hatter standing on Broad Street offering tourists the opportunity to visit Oxford colleges is well-known. However, this eccentric guide is also standing for election.

The Mad Hatter tells Cherwell that, “The point is to use humour to highlight social issues like housing. For example, it’s absurd that we live in a country where we impoverish or indebt most people by permitting the banks to bankrupt us all in an unproductive capital-drain of investment away from productive industries to a false economy of buy-to-let mortgages, which makes people rich from undermining everyone else – while the state subsidises or guarantees the banks. In my view, housing shouldn’t ever be a business – shelter is a basic human right and need. If elected, I would focus foremost therefore on housing.”

The Hatter also feels strongly that the current council has many flaws. He told Cherwell, “Locally, the city council has demonstrated to me that its executive team make decisions without taking any regard for their huge effects on people’s livelihoods, like mine.

Sometimes the decisions they make lack sense too – such as following central government’s cutting of essential services, yet still agreeing to spend more than £9 million on a pool!”

The Hatter’s thoughts on a national politics in England are scathing. “Unless you recognise the Green party (which is the only party in England that I would vote for), the choices are to vote for parties of different shades of blue which imagine that bankrupting us all via housing price growth is the way to pretend times are getting better. Fortunately, Scotland is led by a different type of vision and so that’s why I’d like to forewarn you that if Oxford elects Mad Hatter on May 22nd, I would like to offer the good citizens of Oxford, the opportunity to secede from England and to join Scotland!

“England seems to be mired in right wing

choices fueled by a xenophobic media narrative which says, ‘Lets blame foreigners instead of blaming our Westminster parties’ for their decades long mismanagement. I am so fed up with this divergence technique being played out. I used to canvas for two of those parties – one sold out in 2011 and the other sold its own soul in 1997.”

The Hatter emphasises that voting in local elections does matter. He told Cherwell, “Your vote counts more than in a national election and although local councillors don’t have a large influence, they can resist vested big business interests and try and stand up for protecting local services.”

Undoubtedly, the Hatter’s key point seems to be about standing up for small businesses.

“My standing as a candidate is the result of a genuine frustration that the (Labour held) City Council continually is undermining small traders like myself and placing completely unnecessary and often expensive obstacles in the way of our being able to trade.

The Mad Hatter will be lucky to be elected, but even so, his criticisms of governance are worth absorbing.

16.05.14 | Cherwell

Food and Drink | 19

“Oh my, it actually looks like pee” Liz English advises us of the best tasting crew-date wines

Recipe

“O

Week

h shoot, I’ve forgotten my ID!” It’s the middle of the afternoon and I’m in the Tesco checkout queue, with a basketful of wine. A confused-looking friend is in tow, and it is to her that I now turn with a pleading face – would she be so kind as to buy the wine, as I so clearly cannot?

This is all part of my plan for the evening – I’m sick of going out for meals and pretending to enjoy whatever delightful wine I’ve purchased for under a fiver, whilst actually wondering whether I could feasibly empty the bottle, fill it with Ribena and get away with it. But now the time has come and I’m on a mission to find something for the student population that is both cheap and super-tasty. After a mammoth trip to Tesco, I’ve lined up three differently priced wines of each variety (red, white and rose), and have my willing subjects on hand.

It’s t’s a blind test, but I’ve asked them to describe each wine bottle before we start.

We pass the bottles around and after convincing said friends that they can give their honest opinions, comments come thick and fast. “Disconcertingly yellow” stands out from the whites, as do the descriptions of our cheapest choices (Tesco Everyday Value), which, if you are unaware, come in little 25cl cartons for the low, low price of £1.49: “It looks like a juice carton, but I can’t find the straw”.

Some ome of the descriptions on the bottles are also a bit dubious - how can a wine made of grapes taste simultaneously of lemons, summer fruits, spices and the earth? Surely that’s impossible? Perhaps taste will tell. Of each variety of wine, I’ve bought ‘Everyday Value’, a cheap, under-afiver bottle and finally a more expensive choice, whose price has been brought down by a half-price offer. I sneak off to the kitchen to open the wines and pour them out, and we attempt to go about the reviews from what we’ve seen on TV. A swill and shake (after a couple of glasses I begin to

fear for my carpet), followed by an awkward exchange of glances and a hearty swig. As a firm believer in going for whatever tastes good, regardless of price, general opinion or fancy descriptions (there’s no way I can taste the lemons in this white wine), we decided to come to a verdict based on taste and taste alone.

For all you white wine drinkers (personally, I’m not a huge fan), we collectively discover that colour does not always equate to taste. For instance, if indeed it looks like urine, it might very well taste that way too. As we expected, the Everyday Value wine tasted watery, though a quick comparison of the alcohol percentage informed us that there was actually very little difference between them.

Despite some discrepancies, our choice for a meal out would be the medium-priced wine: Vineyard’s Sauvignon Blanc, for £3.99. If you prefer a rosé, then we’ve got that covered too. I mistakenly bought a half-percentage and half-calorie wine (Silver Bay Point, £2.69), which tasted like strawberry laces, but if sweet and smooth is your thing then why not?

We W were split between the other two rosés – the most expensive had just as much praise as the Everyday Value wine, with most people unable to tell the one from the other.

As for red, which is far more my domain, I too was split between the expensive “fancy schmancy” bottle (which actually had a cork!) and the Everyday Value one. It tasted cheaper, but not unbearably so.

Perhaps, a little sweeter than normal, but it would balance salty foods like bacon, cheese or chorizo well, and in reality a pleasant complement to a meal is all you can ask for. So what did we learn? Well, as a self-confessed cynic before testing began, my uncertainties over the description that wine companies put on their wine bottle were only strengthened by this experience, wine-tasting is an inexact science, and watch out for your drunk friends!

of the

Raspberry Surprise

Ingredients (Makes 1 to serve 6-8) 225g (8oz) raspberries 1/2 pint double cream Large carton natural yoghurt 1 packet of pink and white marshmallows Method 1) In a large bowl, whip the double cream until firm but still quite malleable.

2) Chop the marshmallows into thirds; to do this, boil the kettle, then pour the boiled water into a mug. Dip scissors into the mug for 10 seconds, then use them to cut up the marshmallows. If you find they get too sticky again, dip them into the water for a further 10 seconds.

3) Fold the natural yoghurt into the whipped cream, followed by the raspberries and marshmallows.

4) Pour the mixture into a serving bowl and leave in the fridge to thicken and set.

From experience it looks and tastes better left for two days in the fridge, as the raspberries slowly lose their colour and it permeates the mixture. However, like last week, if you’re pushed for time then briefly microwave the raspberries before using, then give the pudding 30 minutes in the freezer and 30 minutes in the fridge before serving.

This is great as a tasty summery dessert or to freeze and have as a semi-freddo.

Cocktails with Cai Enjoy an exciting and exotic refresment with a delicious Singapore Sling The Singapore Sling is everything you could want from a cocktail – an exotic and fruity punch with an exciting story to boot.

Despite having so many variations, you can be sure that any ‘Sling’ cocktail will be worth your money.

The original Singapore Sling comes from the Long Bar in Raffles Hotel in – you guessed it – Singapore.

To this day, they serve over a thousand Singapore Slings every day to the masses of tourists who make a beeline for the bar.

The drink was invented back in 1915 by one of the

Long Bar’s bartenders, and quickly became their speciality.

But after the Japanese invasion of Singapore in the early 40s, the original recipe is only known from it having been scribbled on the back of a receipt from 1936, which is now on display in the Raffles Hotel Museum.

Now of course, the drink is so popular that the hotel has custom-made machines that churn them out, mixing the right amount of pineapple juice and alcohol every time.

Even though the drink has been modified several times over the years, the recipe that the Raffles Hotel uses now is the one featured in this week’s column.

If you can manage to get hold of some Benedictine and Cherry Brandy you can make the drink yourself with

Review: St John’s formal

a special Raffles shaker – but otherwise, head to House Bar. Ingredients 30ml Gin 15 ml Cherry Brandy 120ml Pineapple Juice 15ml Lime Juice 7.5ml Cointreau 7.5ml Benedictine 10ml Grenadine Syrup Method Pour all the ingredients into a shaker filled with ice.

Shake well.

Strain into highball glass.

Garnish with a pineapple slice and a glacé cherry.

S

t John’s are lucky enough to have formal six nights a week, so we were joining them for an average night’s experience. On this evening, there were only a handful of people, barely filling a tenth of the hall’s total capacity.

Known as one of the larger and well endowed colleges on campus, there’s no denying that upon first entering the hall, it is overwhelmingly spectacular. Despite this, the tables were nicely set for our intimate formal experience.

Aside from the sparse population of the hall, the food wasn’t bad. It’s great that you’re getting three courses here for very little money, in this case £4.22 per head.

Formal prices at St. John’s do vary, ranging from around £3.72 to £4.47. Even though the main course and dessert may simply be normal ‘informal’ hall food, this is still great value for money. The starter was a soup notable for its interesting flavour, though

“

Does it live up to formal standards?

Not so sure. described by a particularly picky guest as ‘sweet pasta sauce’. The main course had to be the low point of the experience, with the chicken stroganoff and risotto placed indelicately on the plate, emphasising the appearance of the stroganoff, which can only be described as lumpy and beige.

Unfortunately, our first impressions were confirmed, with the food being bland and uninteresting. The dessert, however was the meal’s redemption, with the tuille basket and accompanying strawberries with balsamic vinegar reduction not only being unexpected, but also delicious.

With regards to alcohol, the bottle of St John’s white that we ordered was great stuff, given that it was one of the cheapest options on the wine menu at £5.95.

Service was as expected for the attendance, quick and efficient. However, the frequency of formal at John’s may be to its detriment; many of our fellow diners did not take ‘formal’ literally, dressing in more casual attire.

This did detract from the sense of occasion. The food was only worth perhaps 6/10, and the general ambience of the setting was similarly mediocre also meriting a 6/10 rating.

However the cost of food makes a decent meal into a good meal and to sum up: formal at St. John’s is great value for money, but the food does the job, as opposed to wowing our senses.

Samuel Kim and Aimée Kwan

PHOTO

JOURNEY TO THE HEART OF DARKNESS

by Stephanie Sy-Quia

FASHION Fashion Matters

From Catwalk to Closet: Metallics With this season’s metallic trend, you’ll be looking as good as gold all summer long. As seen on the Julien Macdonald and Proenza Schouler catwalks, jewellery is not the only thing to add a bit of shine to your look. If you’ve somehow managed to spend some time outside of the bod, this trend is also perfect to show off a well-earned tan!

WRAP FRONT PLAYSUIT £35.00, OH MY LOVE LONDON This ohmylovelondon.com playsuit is simply the way to show off your punting tan.

With a dainty necklace, a dishevelled up-do and some Benefit Sunbeam highlighter on your collarbone you’ll think you’re in Cyprus rather than a dingy corner of The Cellar.

Cherwell’s fashion team investigates the seemingly unstoppable rise of Topshop.

I

f I were Katie Foster, current CEO of Topshop, I’d look back on the last fortnight and decide to treat myself a bit. I mean, it’s been a good one.

The most recent fashionable public event was the annual Met Gala – an anyone-who’s-anyone event that’s been going since 1971 – which saw the biggest stars strutting down the red carpet.

Yet, amongst the Chanels, Rodartes and Oscar de la Rentas, one name stood out as not being a traditional fashion house or designer name: Topshop. Top models such as Jourdan Dunn, Chanel Iman and Toni Garrn, not to mention celebrities like Kendall Jenner, all f launted their tasteful, red-carpet-ready gowns. Contrast this with controversial (read: weird) couture choices

by Prada or Prabal Gurung, and Topshop’s onto a clear winner.

This follows hot on the heels of the launch of the new ‘Kate Moss for Topshop’ range, a 52 piece collection which launched on 30th April, 22 pieces of which have now sold out online and in several countries. The message seems clear: Topshop’s star has never shone brighter.

This is a far cry from its humble roots as Peter Robinson’s Topshop, a store that was launched in 1964 as part of the youth branch of the now nonexistent Peter Robinson department store chain. Just six years later, Topshop had proven its success by launching its own independent store, which was followed, before long, by the establishment of Topman.

That said, until 2010, Topshop had been very much a treasure of the UK, a brand untouchable to anyone beyond our shores.

However, the success of stores in Europe and Australasia has quickly led to US expansion – and the brand is now quickly growing in that market. Sir Philip Green, CEO of the Arcadia group which currently owns Topshop, has said that, “The Los Angeles reaction was much stronger than we thought. We were about 50 per cent above our target.”

Topshop’s renewed collaboration with Kate Moss, as well as its work with other designers such as Mary Katranzou, has set a benchmark for fashion pairings with High Street retailers worldwide.

Think of Keds with Taylor Swift, H&M with Karl Lagerfeld or even Adidas with Selena Gomez.

It’s perhaps an exaggeration to suggest that Topshop pioneered the nature of collaborative movements, but their success on that front has certainly helped them in to stay at the forefront of wearable, on-trend fashion.

Furthermore, their expansion into cosmetics, a move once viewed with raised eyebrows, is no longer a laughing matter, with Topshop make-up gracing best product lists in magazines such as Cosmopolitan, and even higher end magazines like Elle.

So what’s next for Topshop? Well it seems a further venture into designer fashion is on the cards.

Before now, the attempts of High Street stores to enter the world of ‘couture’ fashion and designers had been viewed with upturned noses from those up high.

The concentrated display of ‘couture’ at the Met Ball and almost half a dozen Topshop dresses on display (one of the highest designer counts of the night), demonstrate that this bridge is slowly being crossed and that one of our favourite brands is definitely leading the way.

Aimée Kwan

TWO-TONE METALLIC SKATER DRESS £75.00, TOPSHOP Looking for a way to really jazz up your end of term formal? This Topshop dress is just incredible in every way. Skater dresses are universally flattering, and the beetle-inspired iridescence of this one has got us running to the shops to pick up our own! This is a scene-stealing little number which is testament to Topshop’s genius.

Images (Clockwise from top): Oh My Love London, Motel Rocks, River Island, Topshop

ENVELOPE CLUTCH BAG IN SILVER CHECK £30.00, MOTEL ROCKS Silver clutch bags are everywhere this season and they are such a chic way to inject the metallic trend into your look.

We’re loving this Motel one with the perforated detail. Pair with a simple white dress for this Friday’s Wahoo outfit...

Julien Macdonald - www.marieclaire.com

Suit and Tie

SILVER T BAR BARELY THERE STILETTO SANDALS £45.00, RIVER ISLAND These T-bar stilettos are a metallic twist on the barely-there sandal trend. They are perfect for livening up a black maxi dress or jazzing up a jeans and top combi n at ion .

Make sure to keep the nail polish natural and muted though.

Street Style

Formal Wear As Trinity Balls spring up around us – St. Anne’s was lovely, by the way – we have all been overwhelmed by the choice of suits to worn to these Black Tie events.

Did you prefer the black dinner suit or the black dinner suit?

Perhaps I’m being too critical, I like a sharp tuxedo as much as the next man, but we should try and personalise our formal wear, even if just to avoid looking like a student production of ‘March of the Penguins.’

Beginners:

The easiest way to make the dinner suit your own is through judicious use of a stylish tie and pocket square combination. They ought to match, but not be identical; choose a colour from the tie and replicate it in some fashion in the pocket square. Next have a range of such ties and pocket squares combinations available at the moment. This purple and grey set (£14) is flexible and good value for money, while their navy bow tie set (£10) offers the right amount of colour without being garish.

When it comes to shoes, we recommend staying formal with Oxfords or brogues. Fairly dark colours work best, but don’t be afraid of adding a pop of colour in line with outfit: a red tie could work with deep burgundy brogues.

Most importantly, make sure they are clean and polished.

Fashionistas:

Brought back into style by Sir Bradley Wiggins, double-breasted suits are an ideal way of remaining within the boundaries of formal requirements whilst still offering a more individual cut, and thus ensuring you’ll definitely stand out in the crowd. This navy Life of Tailor jacket (River Island, £60) is perfect: sleek and stylish, wear it with slim fit trousers, a white shirt and of course, be sure to accessorize!

Remember, to keep the jacket buttoned at all times though. For a similarly vintage look, we recommend you check out The Ballroom Emporium’s fantastic range of suits.

Image: Katie Pangonis

Biochemist Becky Downs from St Peters is perfectly on trend in her Jack Will’s playsuit, the brightness of which is cleverly offset by her cream silk espadrilles. She’s updated the classic concept of floral prints by opting for more exotic flowers in stronger colours, and her choice of a playsuit is a comfortable and modern alternative to a traditional summer dress. Her oversized J Crew tote and aviator sunglasses add a tougher and more practical edge to an otherwise sweet and summery ensemble.

22 | Fashion

Cherwell | 16.05.14 Dresses: ASOS Lemon bag: Accessorize

Models: Suzie Ford and Ophelia Rai Lester Photographer and Stylist: Erin Floyd Assistant Photographer: Katie Pangonis Location: Harcourt Arboretum

16.05.14 | Cherwell Fashion | 23

The Midwich Cuckoos

Th is

CULTURE

theme... k’s e we

Soul

Identity: a question of mind, body or soul?

Emma Simpson considers what our obsession with the physical has to do with our inner lives

H

uman beings are obsessed with outer appearances. We constantly seek to project an outer manifestation of the ‘self’ by using clothing, hair, diets, exercise to tell the world who we think we are inside, or at least who we want them to think we are.

The existence of a ‘soul’ is more philosophy than science – a thing that must be consciously believed in (or not believed in) and that cannot actually be proved. Whether the inner ‘soul’ is allied to the outer body is another question entirely.

David Mitchell (not the comedian) is one of my favourite authors. This is perhaps because his work is preoccupied with the predicament

“

Thoughts are the essence of the “self” because they are the place where we can concieve the idea of a “self” of the gulf between soul and body, with the souls of his characters reappear throughout his books, reincarnated and reborn.

His Cloud Atlas sees the same soul travelling across the boundaries of time, space and body, planted in different hosts who, although they share the same soul (signified by a shared birthmark), live dramatically different lives.

So dramatically different, in fact, that the filmmakers chose to use the same actors and

actresses multiple times throughout, presumably to create an illusion of continuity between the separate stories, the links between which only become clear at the very end.

The result is that we see Hugo Weaving playing both a care home nurse who looks after Jim Broadbent in his old age, and a demon from a dystopian future who haunts Tom Hanks and Halle Berry.

I wonder what this says about our obsession with the bodily. We struggle, in the visual medium at least, to understand that two humans could share the same soul, without some form of physical representation of the fact.

But do we really think that Halle Berry’s soul, the very essence of her being, is found in her shiny hair, her skin colour, the proportions of her facial features? Is it the hair which makes her a different person from Tom Hanks, or is it that they are different physically in pretty much every single way? Or is it something else - some inward conception of identity that is manifest through these outer signs?

My mother will meet someone new and tell me they had a “kind face”. What does that mean, a kind face? Do we presume that we can tell if a person is kind by their facial features – if they are trustworthy by the colour of their eyes? I am often told I have an open, honest sort of face and that I look pleased to see everyone, which is ironic because most of the time I feel shy and grumpy and am daydreaming about a time when I can sit in bed alone and listen to mopey girl music with the door locked.

A boy I once dated told me (I think in response to my surliness that he spent more time in the gym than with me) that he exercised his body by cycling in the same way that he exercised his mind by reading, because you have to live in both. When I am sat in the library in an oversized t-shirt, stuffed full of yoghurt, I tend to comfort myself with the idea that, in

Oxford at least, I am “a brain in a jar”. Nobody cares what you look like as long as your brain is beautiful and full. Unless you are in Camera, which always seems to me to be a sort of reallife version of Tinder – a place where the inner self doesn’t seem to matter in the slightest.

In Old English the word “mod” is used to mean “mind”, “body” and “soul” interchangeably. The AngloSaxons, it seems, believed that all three are linked to create a unified conception of selfhood.

Descartes believes that the body and the soul are separate entities.

“While I could pretend that I had no body and that there was no world and no place for me to be in”, he writes, “I knew I was a substance whose whole essence or nature is solely to think… accordingly that the soul by which I am what I am is entirely distinct from the body.” Thoughts are the essence of the ‘self’ because thoughts are the place where we can conceive the idea of a ‘self’.

The body is a separate entity, responsible for the containment of the mind where the ‘self’ is formed – but the two really have nothing in common.

It seems impossible that a professional ath-

lete or dancer could have the same conception of their identity as an academic or a writer. One is dependent on the body and the other can, in some ways, divorce himself from it completely.

Even the writer, though, is obsessed by the “bodily” – finding bodies of literature and bodies of words to hide himself in, or to use as a projection of identity.

Equally, the space we live in is a ‘body’ in which we are confined just as we are confined to the physical body.

We decorate our bedrooms because they are physical m a n i fe s t at ion s of who we are.

In our Facebook profiles bodysoul dualism finds a midpoint. They are a place where both body and self - or, perhaps, soul - are on display to the world exactly as we want them to be.

Perhaps Halle Berry’s shiny hair, then, can be seen as a representation of her ‘self’ – or at least of the self she and her stylists want us to see. It all comes down, it seems, to our desire for control. Our seeking of a place to occupy, to make our own, our obsession with outer appearance: they are, perhaps, symbolic of our desire to take control of a body which can never feel truly allied to our ‘self’.

Top Pick

Friday

Friday

Saturday

Saturday

Mr Scruff O2 Academy, doors open 9pm

Magic Museums at Night Ashmolean, 7pm

OxHoli Merton College Sports Ground, 1pm

Emmanuelle’s Birthday Party Regent’s Park College, 3pm

Mr Scruff is playing a five-hour DJ set at the O2. If you’re not going, you need to question what has gone wrong. He will be serving up a mix of jazz, soul, hip hop, funk, disco, deep house, reggae, dubstep, afrobeat, latin, electrofunk and much more.

On this day across the UK, museums open their doors until late. All Oxford’s museums will be participating, but the Ashmolean has something special in store.

Curators will be presenting a magical and mystical collection as well as various other attractions along the theme.

As usual, to celebrate the ancient Hindu spring festival of Holi, the festival of colours, a bunch of Oxford students are going to gather in a field and throw paint at each other. Let’s be honest, who among us hasn’t secretly harboured the desire to cover our friends (and enemies) with brightly coloured paint without fear of repercussions (except in kind, of course).

Regent’s Park’s college tortoise is turning 111! For only £5, you can get into her birthday party. There will be live music and Pimm’s, a croquet challenge, a bouncy castle, a birthday raffle, birthday cake, tortoise time trials from other honoured reptilian guests, and even a speech from Emmanuelle herself. Finally, there will be a performance of the college summer play, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.

Picks of the Week

Culture | 25

16.05.14 | Cherwell

Top3

... Theories of the Soul

1

Ancient Egypt

The Ancient Egyptians believed that the soul was made up of five parts. The Ren was a person’s name, and it was believed that this part of the soul would live for as long as it was spoken. The Ba was everything that made a person unique – their personality. The Ka was the concept of vital essence, sustained through food and drink. The Sheut was a person’s shadow, a constant reminder of death. Finally, the Ib was the heart, the seat of emotion, thought, will and intention.

2

Plato/Socrates

Plato’s soul theory is fragmentary too. Basing his work on the teachings of Socrates, he believed in the logos, the thymos and the eros.

The logos was located in the head and governed reason. This was the only immortal part of the soul according to Plato. The thymos was found in the heart, with anger, while the eros was located in the stomach and had to do with one’s desires. Plato compared this model of the soul to the caste system. Each part has to play its role so that the whole can function.

3

Milestones Cherwell picks out a key moment in cultural history. This week, Luke Barratt looks at the cultural motif of making deals with the Devil. Don’t try this at home.

T

he best and most famous example of a deal with the devil is the story of Dr. Johann Georg Faust, alchemist, astrologer and magician. The popular tale of his deal with the devil and subsequent adventures has been circulating since the 1580s, but is most famously told in Christopher Marlowe’s play The Tragical History of the Life and Death of Doctor Faustus and Goethe’s more concisely named Faust.

The legend runs that the good doctor sold his soul to the devil in return for magical powers or, in Marlowe’s version, the presence of a demon to do his bidding. Faustus is supposed to have signed a legally binding document bequeathing his soul to Satan.

In Marlowe’s play, he dies when Mephistopheles the demon drags him to Hell, and real-life scholars at the time jumped instantly to this conclusion when his mutilated body was found in the remnants of an alchemical explosion in a hotel.

This is not the only time in history that someone has been thought to have sold their soul to the Devil. At the witchcraft trial for seventeenth-century priest, Urbain Grandier, a document was produced complete with the apparent signatures of several demons.

The trope of selling one’s soul to the Devil is

one that often seems inextricably linked with cultural and intellectual pursuits. Faustus was depicted as the over-reaching scholar, desperate for more knowledge than was his due. Oscar Wilde’s The Picture of Dorian Gray does not explicitly involve Satan, but the religious evil apparently invested in the painting of Dorian has cultural implications which are impossible to ignore – Gray’s sins even begin with a trip to the theatre.

Furthermore, there is a long list of musicians throughout Christian history who are supposed to have sold their souls. Niccolò Paganini encouraged rumours that he had traded away his soul for talent with the violin; Robert Johnson, the blues musician from the ‘30s was supposed to have met Satan at a crossroads; even the comedic musical duo Tenacious D have involvements with the Devil.

Historically, the Church has always been suspicious of things beyond its control, and condemning talented individuals as the followers of Satan was the perfect way of holding onto its power. Although, in the case of Dr. Faust, one can’t really blame them. He was once arrested for convincing someone to use arsenic to get rid of his beard. It worked, but a fair amount of skin came away too. But then, fools that will laugh on earth must weep in Hell.

Buddhism

Poetry Corner To appear in Poetry Corner, email a poem (at most 20 lines long) to culture@cherwell.org.

Foot-Watching at Birmingham New Street

Bended knee, you fall from arches and Silence soles, Flat - flat - bounce; Reveal yourself by angles.

Tip tip tread, toes pointed, Smooth smooth, oh - disjointed, Fling out Or drag behind the heavy burden of dependence, Barefoot - in stations?!

Rolling over and well-heeled, Broken-toed (or broken-hearted?) limp, Ugg-ly stomp, Childhood jig and Run!

Maïa Perraudeau Somerville College

The Cherwell Review

Buddhism teaches that everything is in a state of permanent transience, including humans.

There is no such thing as the permanent self.

I am not the person I was yesterday, though I am continuous with that person. Buddhists hold that the notion of the soul, an abiding self and an obsession with individuality is one of the primary causes of human conflict. Despite this, most Buddhist schools believe in some form of afterlife, with a kind of ‘dreaming mind’ living on once the body is gone.

We’re looking for contributions to our inaurgural literary supplement, The Cherwell Review, with the theme ‘Tradition’.

Enteries may be in a variety of formats: reviews, criticism, interviews, art, photography and creative writing.

The deadline for submissions is Wednesday 5th week . To find out more email review@cherwell.org.

Wednesday

Wednesday

Starts Wednesday

Thursday

Jungle O2 Academy, 7pm

ISIS Spoken Word Night Albion Beatnik Bookstore, 7.30pm

Blue Stockings Simpkins Lee Theatre, LMH, 7.30pm

Famously secretive electro outfit Jungle, who are only known by their first initials, play Oxford on Wednesday. Their touring schedule is not exactly packed out, so this is a big opportunity to see one of 2014’s most hotly-tipped acts. Incredibly cool and prodigiously talented, they’ve racked up almost 700,000 views on their video for ‘Platoon’ and it looks like they’re here to stay.

Spoken Word is the poetry-hip hop hybrid that’s taking the world by storm, one YouTube video at a time. On Wednesday of 4th Week, ISIS brings you some of Oxford’s best spoken word artists presenting their rhymes in the cosy comfort of Jericho’s very own Albion Beatnik Bookstore. Student performers will bring protest and punch to this slam poetry competition.

Blue Stockings is the story of four first-year girls at Girton College, the first women’s college and secondary member of Cambridge University. As the girls navigate a path through study, romance and brutal misogyny, their Principal, Mrs. Welsh, campaigns for women’s graduation.

NT Encore: Curious Incident of the Dog In the Night-Time Phoenix Picturehouse, 7pm This stage adaptation of Mark Haddon’s hugely successful novel had a great run in 2012 at the National, as well as a high-profile roof-collapsing incident at the Apollo.

If you didn’t see Luke Treadaway’s stellar performance the first time round, here’s your chance.

Picks of the Week

26 | Arts & Books

Cherwell | 16.05.14

Behind the Iron Curtain: revisiting literature from the USSR Miriam Gordis talks to Vladimir Sharov, the man who captured the zeitgeist of a falling regime

V

ladimir Sharov, author of Before and During, tells me “when I was around twentyfive or twenty-six, I ran out of poems, “For me, it was a great catastrophe.” His fiction is filled with ‘great catastrophes’ of this kind, but also with strange magic. In Before and During, the first of his novels to be translated into English, history bubbles up improbably and seemingly without any boundaries.

Sharov, born 1952 in the former USSR, is composed, serene even. He has a prophet’s beard and when he speaks about his vision of the world it is hard not to think of Tolstoy. I interviewed him sitting in his room at St Antony’s College as we drink instant coffee out of little white cups and speak through an interpreter.

While we were waiting for the interpreter to arrive, he showed me a book by his father, Alexander Sharov, who was also a writer. It is a book of children’s fairy tales, printed in bold letters and exquisitely illustrated. I squint at the first line and decipher, “Far, far away…”

“In my childhood, I was omnivorous”, explains Sharov. He sits sideways, legs crossed, speaking slowly at first, then faster; a torrent of words. “I read all the fairy tales I could get my hands on and I think, in many ways, it did shape me as a writer”. I ask him how his training as a historian (Sharov has a PhD in Russian history) intersects with his historical fiction and he holds up his hands in swift protest, “I just want to make a small amend. Indeed, I am a historian… but I have never written any historical fiction”.

Born to a science fiction writer in Soviet Russia, Sharov grew up listening to his father’s friends discussing literature and politics and imbibed their understanding of the world on Sharov. He started writing early in life, but under the strict censorship of the Soviet Union,

thinks words are imprecise “I think that without words, our view of the world is much more complex than with them. And the more complex is this vision of the world, the more accurate, the more careful a human being is. They’re just trying not to harm other people’s lives, not to do something to destroy. Revolutions and dictators are great simplifiers of life. Somehow, simplification of our understanding of the world and violence always stand close to each other. They go hand in hand.”

Breathtaking as Before and During is in England in 2014, imagine the impact it must have had in Russia in 1993. Sharov has worked all the pain, complexity and forgetfulness of Russia’s he never thought about publishing them. If history had gone differently, his writing might never have seen the light of day and Sharov is painfully aware of this.

Before and During was originally published in 1993 in the journal Novy Mir, which famously also published Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn’s A Day in the Life of Ivan Denissovich. The book was instantly controversial, with several of the editors later coming out and announcing they had been against its release.

“

A whole a layer of life was destroyed in Russia.

“What was most important for me to explore in this novel,” Sharov explains, “is that,

basically, a whole layer of life was destroyed in Russia. People who were afraid of impending doom and being arrested, burned their diaries, burned their personal documents, being afraid of having implications found in them.

And even to their children, they were telling imaginary stories about their lives, because they were afraid their children would be affected. So perhaps what is most important in this novel, Before and During, is an attempt to resurrect this inner life, this inner psychic novel, and to present it to the leader. Because we cannot resurrect the people, they are gone, they are killed, but we can try and recreate the life they lived and their inner life as well.”

In the opening pages of the novel, one of the characters plays with free association, recalling how the “Bolshevik cake factory” across the street made him associate Bolsheviks with sweets for years, a fantastic parody of the way the Soviets used words, imbuing them with their own significance. Unsurprisingly, Sharov

“

Simplification of our understanding and violence go hand in hand history into a dark and erudite fairy tale, that confronts the destruction of the Soviet era from a largely introspective point of view. At the launch of Before and During, Oliver Ready declared that many of Sharov’s novels “suggest that the wish to return to childhood is a fatal Russian trait, a wish to simplify things and not face complex questions”.

Sharov though does not shy away from such questions. When I ask him whom he would choose to meet from the past, he clears his throat: “I think probably… this would be my mother and my father”.

Review: Last Enchantments Loading Hugh McHale-Maughan discovers the modern Brideshead

the Canon I Cherwell calls for new additions to the literary establishment

J

ohn Lennon gets his fair share of attention and there are plenty of fanatical Beatles fans who will forcibly advance the view that his lyrics are worthy of inclusion into the literary canon. However, it is his often neglected In His Own Write and A Spaniard In The Works that are most deserving of greater recognition.

Published in 1964 and 1965 respectively these books are collections of poems and stories, all of which feature Lewis Carroll-esque imagery and surreal humour. More than the Beatles’ lyrics, which Lennon tossed off during, these years these works are at once hilarious, witty and incisive, while offering a unique glimpse into the author’s personality.

The books were a great commercial success, eagerly bought and revered by Beatlemaniacs few of whom, it would seem, appreciated the uniqueness of the humour and the accomplishment of the prose and poetry.

As a figure of immense importance to popular culture, and enduring relevance, there is a temptation to idolise Lennon to the extent that his personality is obscured and his work neglected in a strange recognition of his genius. These works do not suffer from this problematic tendency. Perversely, that they have been so ignored means that they offer the greatest insight into this hugely influential character.

Lennon’s impressive faculty for language was evident in his song lyrics but reaches its full expression in these books, which are a space without three minute limits. His wit shines through in hilarious stories, full of

wordplay and deceivingly childish jokes. References to the ‘Nasties’ (Nazis) are indicative of this, along with quotable aphorisms, one of which was used as the title of a Beatles song, album and film, “a hard day’s night”.

These works foreshadow Lennon’s later development as a writer as, in the late 1960s and ‘70s, when his lyrics began to take on a deeper, more complex and more playful side. Those looking to gain an understanding of him should stop attempting to decipher obscure lyrics and instead direct their attention to these works.

am often asked what it is actually like studying at Oxford. I am sure it is a question we have all been asked and after the awkward cough and shuffle that accompanies any admission of our Alma Mater, my next step is always a brief exposition of the college system (that is both incomplete and inaccurate), a poor joke about drunkenly stumbling on cobbles before feebly trailing out with the old lie, “It’s just like any other university really…”

It is rare, then, to find fiction that encapsulates the contemporary Oxford experience – Brideshead Revisited may still be a handbook for students of Christ Church and Magdalen, but I am willing to bet it is about as far from most of our lives as Trainspotting. The Last Enchantments manages to fill this gap for modern Oxford, and do it spectacularly, grippingly, and with heart-wrenching pathos. There are gems of Oxford life within Charles Finch’s first foray into non-crime fiction: the frequent trips to Purple Turtle, the permanent backdrop of intellectual struggle and a cameo for Hassan’s kebab van, which struck me with particular fondness.

Beyond the excitement that come from reading about places that also form the backdrop to one’s own life, Finch captures themes that should resonate with Oxford students, and then reflects on them with a maturity, eloquence and sparkling humour that is both uncommon and addictive. In particular, the daily littleness of life amongst the dreaming spires, the feeling of unreality that occurs both when reflecting on home life from Oxford and thinking of Oxford from

home, and the frequent meaningless romances that emerge from college life are expounded in light, beautiful prose, profound and yet not pretentious.

But more than being about Oxford, The Last Enchantments is a novel about youth and its loss, love and life. The protagonist, Will Baker (whom one suspects is an image of Mr Finch himself) is an American graduate student, standing on the threshold of adulthood and placed before decisions that will profoundly shape his life. The choices are ones that are familiar and yet intensely moving: his long term and dependable partner Alison, left at home in the States, is placed in contrast to his British love, the enigmatic Sophie; the lucrative career in the City, the passion and excitement of the campaign trail and the ethereal promise of an academic grant. All pull Baker in different directions that cross oceans. Most of all, the novel presents the foreboding sense that – in one’s early 20s – one’s decisions begin to have serious and long term ramifications.

Oxford is the perfect setting for this regretful abandonment of youth. One line in particular resonates, when the University is given its epitaph: “so much of being at Oxford is the stretch of days behind and before you, the feeling of shelter inside that great mammoth body, the security of it”.

The sense of contemplative melancholy is at the end overpoweringly sad, and a fitting end to a novel that not only perfectly encapsulates being a student of Oxford, but also beautifully expresses the feeling of no longer being young.

Film & TV | 27

16.05.14 | Cherwell

The Magnificence of Miyazaki

Ollie Johnson praises the genius of the master of Japanese animation

Landmarks of cinema L’Avventura (1960) Antonioni’s Italian classic subverted film practice of the time and produced a masterpiece in the process

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nimation and international films are perhaps the two hardest genres to try and get out to a wide audience. Animation has always been perceived as too childish for big success, and foreign films are seen as solely the interest of cinephiles and critics. It is perhaps for these reasons that the international success, acclaim and adoration for the films of Hayao Miyazaki is all the more remarkable.

This extraordinary Japanese filmmaker, who works entirely in animation, has carved a reputation worldwide for crafting films with such beauty and such gifted story-telling that foreign cinema and animation are finally losing their reputation of being juvenile or exclusive genres of film.

Miyazaki’s most famous work is probably Spirited Away, an extraordinarily original and visually mesmerising tale of a young girl trapped in a fantasy world, trying to save her parents. Although a stunning work in itself, it was when Disney bought the film and marketed it as a real Oscar contender that it got the international audience it so deserved. It went on not only to be the first anime film to ever win an Oscar, for best animation, but was also hailed as one of the greatest animations of all time, up there with even the most canonical Disney works. It remains the most successful Japanese film of all time, and introduced the wider world to the mastery of Miyazaki’s writing and aesthetic vision.

Miyazaki’s previous work was the equally inspired Princess Mononoke, a period drama about a battle between supernatural guardians of the forest fighting the humans seizing and exploiting its resources. As outstandingly beautiful as all of Miyazaki’s films are, the artistry of the hand-drawn animation shone through in the lush, edge-to-edge natural vistas and the elegance of the wolf protagonists. Once bought and marketed by Miramax, this was the first Japanese animation to be widely realised abroad, and was the best advertisement for the quality of Japan’s film industry.

Purely in terms of imagination, his 2005 feature Howl’s Moving Castle is enthralling in its creation of an engrossing fantasy world.

The eponymous castle is a masterclass in design and creativity; a hybrid of steampunk fortress, cartoon pirate ship and anthropomorphic detailing. This castle also changes over the course of the film to mimic the changes of the protagonist Howl himself,

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all eighty plus parts, including a wagging tongue and bird feet, morphing as the film progresses.

Thanks to Spirited Away, Princess Mononoke and his numerous other films, the work of Miyazaki and his company, Studio Ghibli, has become synonymous with storytelling and imagination of an almost unparalleled quality and consistency. But his films are not simply a beautiful visage with little depth.

Miyazaki’s work has always confronted poignant and often difficult themes, like man’s relationship with nature, the difficulties of pacifism and feminist issues. Indeed, that his films often star strong, independent female

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Miyazaki leaves behind a legacy as imporant for animation as Walt Disney himself characters shows the pre-eminence of the thematic concerns he raises.

Unfortunately for film fans everywhere, Miyazaki announced he was retiring last year, and his last film, The Wind Rises, was released last week. Very much a farewell masterpiece, The Wind Rises has been labelled by critics as one of the most beautiful films ever made, whilst simultaneously tackling perhaps the most controversial of any themes in Miyazaki’s films. Centred around flight, and the possibilities of aviation, the film shines the spotlight directly on one of the most difficult and challenging periods of Japan’s history; its role in World War II. A perfect example of the intelligent and gorgeous work that Miyazaki has always produced, if you’re going to see just one film this month, make it this – you won’t be disappointed.

Though his retirement is a loss to the worldwide cinematic community, Miyazaki leaves behind a legacy as important for the history of animation as Walt Disney himself or John Lasseter’s work at Pixar. A true director-artist, Miyazaki proved that animation and foreign cinema could not only be as good as other genres, but, as the quality of his films demonstrates, they could, in many ways, be so much better.

On cherwell.org this week...

his week, we reviewed Pompeii, a CGIheavy, plot-thin action-retelling of the volcanic disaster that struck the city in AD 79. Despite starring Kit Harrington of Game of Thrones fame, the film is full of superfluous special effects, meaningless relationships and skin-deep characterisation. An ironically cold affair throughout, this got a generous one star. On a more pos-

itive note, if you need any more convincing to see Miyazaki’s beautiful The Wind Rises, check out the review online. Finally, if you need a helping of Hollywood trivia, we looked back over the great partnerships of film’s history, from Wayne and Ford to De Niro and Scorsese. Producing some of the most iconic films ever, these duos have defined Hollywood for the past century.

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espite being booed on its first screening at Cannes, L’Avventura has stood the test of time. Unlike the rococo La Dolce Vita released in the same year, this brutalist cathedral of a film retains all its power to quietly disconcert. Antonioni’s cold and distanced gaze penetratingly exposes the failings and moral weaknesses of his characters. As they progressively lose interest in searching for their missing friend, they fall into meaningless relationships and petty jealousies. L’Avventura exposes the selfishness and paranoia of which we are all capable and so speaks truthfully about an aspect of ourselves we would often rather not admit to.

Review: Frank

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s an exploration of humanity’s creative capacities, Lenny Abrahamson’s Frank, which premiered at the Sundance Film Festival, is a brilliantly thought-provoking triumph. As a film, however, it is disappointingly lacking, wavering between compelling profundity and inescapably dull self-indulgence, saved only by Michael Fassbender’s uniquely laudable performance.

Domhnall Gleeson stars as Jon, a floppyhaired loner living with his parents in a hellishly suburban coastal town in the north, whose desire to achieve musical enlightenment , despite his seemingly boundless enthusiasm, always boils down to re-hashed Madness songs with laughably banal lyrics (‘Woman in the blue dress, what are you doing with that bag?” and the like).

When a dysfunctional indie band with an unpronounceable name (Soronprfbs) arrive in town in need of a keyboard player, Jon jumps at the chance and finds himself locked away with them in a commune-type camp in Ireland, as they attempt to broaden their creative limits and finally record that life-changing album.

Michael Fassbender plays Frank, the band’s leader and the film’s eponymous enigma, who wears a large papier-mâché head at all times. As band manager Don (Scoot McNairy) portentously advises both Jon and the audience, “just go with it”.

Gleeson leeson is adept as the loveable fish-out-of-water Jon, but his meekness and compliance are at odds with his strident aim of making the band more “likeable”, rendering his character slightly unbelievable. Maggie Gyllenhaal is equally proficient, if unpersuasive, as the irritatingly unwelcoming Clara. The intended chemistry between these two polar opposites is apparently demonstrated sufficiently by annoyingly meaningless terse remarks.

Itt is Fassbender, though, who provides the film’s most memorable performance, despite hav-

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ing his face hidden for the vast majority of it.

His body language and intonation are somehow enough to express a great depth of character. With a hunching of the shoulders, or a tilt of the giant head, Fassbender implies convincing emotion, so much so that the features of the painted face seemingly come alive on occasion. This is a lesson in subtlety; Frank is paradoxically the most engaging character and his presence provides a much-needed centrality to the film. His habit of speaking his facial expressions is also a rich seam of humour.

For all Fassbender’s commendable skill, however, the film suffers from a lack of coherence and vagueness brought on by self-indulgence.

Too much feeling is left unsaid, too much resentment left implicit. One is never sure whether Jon is liked or not, whether Frank is deranged or not, and what exactly Abrahamson is trying to do. At first, any disinterest as a result of this flaw is staved off by the film’s quirkiness, but as it progresses, boredom materialises and the captivating novelty wanes away.

That said, several thought-provoking motifs continued to be explored with elegance. The well-known fine line between genius and insanity is prominent, along with the need for anonymity to allow ntrue creative freedom. The audience’s slow realisation that Gleeson’s mediocre, yet eternally enthusiastic Jon is the unwitting villain of the piece is delightfully drawn out. It raises questions as to the morality of forcing oneself on more-talented others and crystallises the ‘integrity versus likeability’ debate that underlies the whole film.

Ultimately, Frank suffers from a crisis of identity. It is at times bizarre, at times remarkably profound and at times regrettably tedious. The originality of the film fades fast, and it is left without much to hold it together, besides Fassbender’s exceptional performance and some compelling thematic concerns.

Fergus Morgan

Cherwell recommends...

f Game of Thrones isn’t satisfying your desire for graphic violence and period political drama, then the new historical epic Vikings, premiering on the History channel, would be a good place to look. Following the story of Ragnar Lothbrook, this famous Norse mythological hero/farmer abandons the tradition of raiding, instead pursuing a secret project that will turn the Viking world on its

head. Starring Gabriel Byrne, this has been well-received by critics in America, where it debuted last year. and has been commissioned through to a third season. Although it has been derided for its occasional anachronisms, unlike Game of Thrones, watching Vikings can be claimed as educational because it’s on the History channel. And that it contains far less gratuitous nudity.

28 | Music

Cherwell | 16.05.14

Classical gets a hip hop makeover

Stephen Bradshaw talks to composer Gabriel Prokofiev about ‘Nonclassical’

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Blondie, Ghosts of Download

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hosts of Download is part of a deluxe set marking the 40 years Blondie has spent being New York Punkers, chart toppers and, recently, resurgent rockers. You can look at it in two ways – it’s either a bold, noble move to release new material, or it’s a back-up in case the re-recordings or classic hits that were released together don’t make the desired impact.

As it happens, Blondie try to do things differently this time. They really do. A number of the tracks of this album are collaborations, and they are the ones that make the record dangerously unpalatable. The opening number, recorded with Colombian collective Sistema Solar gives off the air of a pirate radio remix, ‘A Rose By Any Name’ with Beth Ditto descends into cringey bubblegum pop despite some interesting lyrics, and the cover of ‘Relax’ would only truly wow crowds at live performances.

Some are clearly displaced Eurovision numbers from post-Soviet states, while others such as ‘Winter’ and ‘Take Me Into The Night’ get the balance between rockability, and electronic garnish just right.

Despite Debbie Harry’s continued cool and persistant profanity, Blondie’s latest effort is no bombshell, but it’s a respectable effort, which shows that they’re willing to stay with the times even after all these years.

Rushabh Haria

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Bo Ningen, III

or those of you who haven’t yet encountered Bo Ningen, let me present to you the (highly pretentious) opening line from their website’s bio page as an introduction: ‘Enlightenment activists from far east psychedelic underground’. Yeah.

Japanese-born but Hackney-based, they’re not ‘60s psychedelic’; more like a sometimes funky, sometimes punky metal band filled with noise and harsh vocals.

In fact, the only quality that could qualify them for psychedelia is that they’re incredibly boring.

Seemingly unable to decide upon exactly what type of music they want to play, on III they meander around the metal end of the musical spectrum, leaning towards prog, ultimately accomplishing little.

They can’t sit still on any good idea they have, and most of the things they try out can be (and have been) done better.

Pantera are funkier, Dream Theater are more interesting, and as far as inspired experimental metal goes, I really can’t recommend Thought Industry’s album Mods Carve the Pig too highly.

What you get on III is a lukewarm mixture of half-baked ideas, that goes on for way too long.

If it was condensed to half the length, leaving less room for musical waffling, maybe it’d be a better listen. But it’s not, and I’m sure you’ve got better ways to spend an hour.

Adam Piascik

hen Gabriel Prokofiev’s Concerto for Turntables and Orchestra was performed at the BBC Proms back in 2011, it raised a few eyebrows amongst the classical music establishment. Incorporating hip-hop beats, record-scratching, and live remixes of orchestral sounds, it isn’t something that you would expect to come from the grandson of Sergei, the celebrated Russian classical composer.

Gabriel’s background as a producer of electronica, however, means that he is entirely at home challenging the limitations of genrelabels. “The idea of groove and rhythm that has a really exciting energy to it – has definitely found its way into my classical music – it’s a natural way for me to compose”, he tells me from his cluttered Hackney studio, surrounded by keyboards, mixers and audio equipment.

We talk about the reasons why today’s classical music can sometimes be perceived as elitist. “A lot of it is just to do with people not really thinking out of the box and sticking to very traditional, outdated concert formats. A lot of classical events stay within a very formal, oldfashioned mode of presentation – even down to the flyers, the language used, the colours, the typeface, everything – you always feel like you’re going back in time”.

To try and counteract these stereotypes, Gabriel founded the ‘Nonclassical’ record label.

Since its inception in 2004 it has gone from strength to strength, with its ‘classical clubnights’ becoming an increasingly prominent feature of London’s alternative clubbing scene.

The musicians are amplified, DJs remix the music between each set, and everybody has a drink in hand. “The format of the club night I think is unique. We have these short, live sets interspersed with DJ sets… we’re trying to put

on concerts where your average music-lover feels comfortable: hence putting stuff on in clubs and bars. My friends who weren’t musicians wouldn’t come to recitals. It just didn’t fit into their lifestyle. So it’s really about finding new directions for contemporary-classical music”.

Part of the key to the night’s success is the sheer diversity of acts that perform (the most recent event featured everything from music

by Dutch minimalist composer Andriessen to a satirical opera about Boris Johnson).

As Gabriel explains, “More and more we’re discovering that it’s good to have some kind of theme or narrative that connects the works being played, something that will get people

intellectually interested and inspired”.

“Everyone who turns up is really impressed by the standard. They’re like ‘my god, I didn’t even know this existed’. We’ve had people come to our gigs who have never seen a string quartet before”.

So what’s next for Nonclassical? “The most fundamental aim is to get more performances and to increase its presence in contemporary culture – for young composers to really get their work out there”. Nonclassical is helping to redefine classical music’s image and promote young musical talent in London, across the UK, and beyond. Long may it continue.

The next Nonclassical event takes place on the 5th of June at the Shacklewell Arms, London.

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Where are they now?

his is an album you can love. The Black Keys have occasionally felt like an NME band: musically weak, sunglasses indoors, happy to play to a crowd of twenty-five.

However, Turn Blue feels like real music, like something you could reminisce to in your dotage.

The problem is that Arctic Monkeys blew the roof off rock and roll this summer with AM, and it will now forever be nigh on impossible for guitar swindling bands of the ‘10s to match up.

To The Black Keys’ credit, the opening three tracks of Turn Blue manage to resuscitate the in-the-room feel of a Hendrix album: there are accidental twitches of imperfection, subtle fault-lines in his voice. The guitar solos feel spontaneous (a rarity), the deep bass is a welcome heaviness in the age of ukuleles, and the xylophone flutters are suitably experimental.

Even easy plodders like the second track ‘In Time’ have a real thud-in-the-stomach, a disturbing funk. Listen to either this second song or ‘10 Lovers’ and sit still – I dare you.

Perhaps Turn Blue’s greatest asset is its sheer confidence. There’s a pirate’s nonchalance

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Even easy plodders have a real thud-inthe-stomach, a disturbing funk. all the way through, and you feel brilliantly talked-down to. The first three songs demonstrate that you don’t need ‘Lonely Boy’ pace and ‘Gold On The Ceiling’ riffs to get your dance on; the ‘less is more’ cliché is really appropriate here. The bass line to ‘10 Lovers’ - despite being

The Black Keys, Turn Blue

Cherwell delves into the later careers of one-hit-wonders so you don’t have to

washed away by the irritating synth melody - is absolutely amazing.

It suffers from ‘Foster The People Syndrome’, a terrible disease – clean and excellent bass lines are vomited-on by idiotic major chords or patronising synth riffs. (As a reference, listen to Foster The People’s ‘Best Friend’ from their new album Supermodel, and compare the dire chorus with the excellent breakdown.)

Yet, somehow, it unexpectedly, yet brilliantly works.

The lyrics are fairly plain, and obviously derivative. Title track ‘Turn Blue’ features lines like, “when the music is done and all the lights are low” that lack originality, and make the duo feel more like an Arctic Monkeys tribute than ever. ‘‘Bullet in The Brain’ should be a killer, but the lyrics, ironically along with the title lack sophistication .

But so what? You don’t sing along to this album: you dance around in your pants to it.

Daniel Sperrin

It’s the question that’s been on everyone’s lips since the late nineties. We all know they got knocked down, but did they really get back up again? Did Chumbawamba’s ‘Tubthumping’ just get to number one with big chat?

The answer is, as you’d expect, yes. They maintained their position on the ground through the noughties, then broke up.

That’s not to say they haven’t tried. They attempted to fight the inevitable ‘One Hit Wonder’ label with a plethora of invisible records, but everyone seemed to forget Chumbawamba’s existence after about 2000. Naturally, they had their memories jogged in 2007 when the song featured on the Alvin and the Chipmunks video game. It was a seminal reemergence for the anarcho-punk band, to be rivalled only by UKIP’s use of the song at the 2011 party conference.

Sadly, it all came to an ‘official split’ end in 2012. It was a travesty, but luckily 2013 brought the release of In Memoriam: Margaret Thatcher, an EP ode to the great leader recorded in 2005 to be released upon her death. Rumour has it David Cameron ordered a copy back in ‘07.

16.05.14 | Cherwell

Stage | 29

Review: God of Carnage Review: Waiting for Godot Bethan Roberts enjoys this excruciating but hilarious drama

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wo middle class couples initiate awkward small talk. If they seem a little on edge, it would be hardly surprising – one of their sons, Ferdinand, has hit the child of the other couple, Bruno, with a stick, damaging his front teeth. However, within just over an hour, this slightly strained suburban world will descend into chaotic vindictiveness, and unmasked and undisguised loathing. If ever there was a play to outline and epitomise some kind of societal entropy, this is it.

God of Carnage, by Yasmina Reza, is being performed as part of Brasenose College’s Arts Week, by a small but incredibly talented cast.

Victoria Hingley and Alice Rivers, as petit bourgeois Veronica and wealthy, weary Annette, perform with perfectly pitched vocal and physical mannerisms, which convincingly exaggerate as they become increasingly drunk and hysterical. Joe Baker captures the latency of Michael’s various hatreds beneath the sweet exterior of a man being, for the evening, “passed off as a leftie.” Dominic Pollard, as Alan, is delightfully, unrepentantly self-interested, and his with a convincing and borderline sociopathic ability to coolly answer a phone call amid the rising tide of disorder and anarchy Alliances, both likely and unlikely, form, break down, and reform in different configurations throughout the piece. It is to the great credit of the cast and director that these emotional shifts are handled with such realism and dexterity. The audience’s initial polarisations between one couple – worthy and self-righteous, professing themselves with holier-than-thou earnestness to be “eccentric enough to believe in the pacifying abilities of culture” – and their counterparts – more openly selfsh, less invested in the belief that “violence is always our business’’– are destined to be shaken to their core, and the cast portray this with an elegance that is compelling and believable.

The venue is an intimate, confined space, suiting the claustrophobic intensity of Reza’s play. The difficulty of remaining distant from the hypocrisies and anxieties the piece exposes in increased further when forced into such close proximity with the play’s all too relatable characters.

God of Carnage is inescapably excruciating but ultimately undeniably hilarious viewing, and this production combines a skin-crawling realism with perfectly timed humour with an enviable ease. Serious issues and debates are raised or hinted at, but undermined by and contrasted with a bourgeois pettiness and triviality which allows it to critique its characters without falling into the pitfalls of earnestness it aims to illuminate. Its initial plodding suburban politeness is shown to be a coiled spring, a compression and repression of darker, primitive, urges, which can be managed, but never completely denied, and never completely eradicated.

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seized perfectly, which is especially impressive given the Burton Taylor’s small stage.

As well as being impressive, the production is immersive. The audience encircle the round stage. Though this creates an intimate setting and enables some clever audience interaction, this comes at a significant cost. For much of the performance, I was stuck looking at an actor’s back, with this back often blocking another’s face. Another disappointment was Stratis Limnios’ slightly flat rendition of Vladimir, with Limnois adding rather too frequent loud sighs to his otherwise excellent diction. This seemed like a laboured and unnatural way to convey the protagonists’ lot. Fortunately, the appearance of master-and-slave pair Pozzo (Tom Pease) and Lucky (Percy Stubbs) redeemed Vladimir’s shortcomings. When Pozzo orders Lucky to “think”, the ensuing speech is a highlight of the evening. This production should make you feel shit – if not for its faults, then for its brutal existentialism.

Nadia Bovy looks ahead to this immersive production at Magdalen

Fergus Morgan is impressed by this production about the politics of terror

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amuel Beckett gave the English translation of his play En Attendant Godot a fitting subtitle: Waiting for Godot: a tragicomedy in two acts. In many ways, Waiting for Godot is a very depressing play. Two men, Vladimir (played by Stratis Limnios) and Estragon (James Mooney), are waiting for a man called Godot to arrive. It seems like they’ve been waiting a long time.

After about ten minutes, Estragon threatens to leave. “And they crucified quick”, he says.

Silence. Vladimir and Estragon aren’t so fortunate as Jesus. Theirs is a slow death; a life spent waiting for a saviour who never arrives.

To contrast and complement all this misery, Waiting for Godot is packed with some of Beckett’s sharpest black humour. This production’s greatest achievement is bringing out that humour. Alex Foster’s direction wonderfully conveys the play’s absurd hilarity, owing to Mooney’s superb timing and facial expressions. The possibilities for physical comedy are

Preview: Timon of Athens

Review: The Collaborators hen John Hodge’s Olivier-award-winning debut play, The Collaborators, was first staged in 2011, critics praised the gripping, faintly disturbing aura that imbued its central relationship, between playwright Mikhail Bulgakov’s and Soviet dictator, Joseph Stalin. The interpretation currently being performed in the Oxford Union’s debating chamber is just as worthy of praise for its subtly disquieting air, distilled brilliantly by the two protagonists, played by Jordan Reed and Timothy Coleman.

The Collaborators tells the story of Bulgakov’s attempt to construct a play about Stalin for the dictator’s 60th birthday celebrations. Torn between his counter-revolutionary instincts and his safety, Bulgakov agrees to the task and begins to explore Stalin’s life with help from the man himself. As the two become friendlier, Bulgakov begins to question his own political standpoint, to sympathise with the difficulties of leading a communist state, and to understand the motives of the infamous autocrat. Reed’s portrayal of Bulgakov is laced with a commendable realism; he embodies the world-wearied playwright superbly as he sighs, protests, and achieves an emotional depth that is entirely believable.

Coleman’s unsettlingly gleeful Stalin is equally understated. He is paradoxically likeable, almost endearing, whilst retaining a degree of menace. However, it is Reed and Coleman’s interaction, their chemistry, which is most engaging. Their developing relationship is entirely convincing and one can easily understand Bulgakov’s growing sympathy for Stalin’s regime as a result of the dictator’s persuasive, appealing manner. Adam Diaper is absorbing as Vladimir, the intimating secret policeman with artistic pretensions

David Metjers is underwhlemed by this production of Beckett’s classic

who gradually becomes disenchanted with the oppressive administration, Duncan Cornish is darkly comic as a sexually-deprived doctor, and Hannah Kelly is adept as Yelena, Bulgakov’s despairing wife. Bridget Dru and Saskia Lumley direct with confidence and dynamism.

The Collaborators is staged on three levels and action transitions between these areas. Scenes overlap, a mutable pace only sporadically transgresses into dawdle or rush, and a sense of potential volatility is generally maintained throughout. Some group scenes are decidedly clunky, but as the play’s themes grow darker, this unsettling atmosphere draws one in and the denouement little short of captivating. At a running time of around two and a half hours long, The Collaborators is a decidedly heavy drama, yet its gritty plot, refreshingly understated acting and self-assured direction rarely fail to hold one’s attention. On the surface, it is the story of one man’s attitude towards an oppressive communistic regime, yet at heart it is a compelling and profound account of the relationship between two fundamentally opposed individuals.

hen the audience make their way to Timon of Athens they will tread through the cloisters of Magdelen and up a stone staircase to the medieval banqueting hall. Met by a lavish champagne reception, they will be immersed in the world of the play in the company of cast members, who will burst into brief snippets of action as the banquet treads the boundary between reality and the theatrical. When the curtain comes up, the audience will take their seats not only for the play at which they are spectators, but for the banquet at which they are esteemed guests.

The play follows Timon, a noble lord of Athens, through his descent from opulent wealth and social renown to the crisis of exile in an existential wilderness. It defies genre; Shakespeare, still in tragedy-mode after penning King Lear and Coriolanus, collaborated with the satirist Thomas Middleton, who wrote large sections of the play. The character of Timon, in particular, defies the tragic genre, so immune is he to the audience’s sympathy. Ambiguity is at the heart of the play, and the director of Magdelen’s production, Gabriel Rolfe, attempts to veer away from the approach of many contemporary adaptations, which have heavily contextualised the play in an attempt to demystify it. Rolfe acknowledges that “the beguiling absence of human, and particularly familial, relationships fits perfectly with a Wall Street setting, for example”, but his vision is never to rationalise the play, rather to preserve and amplify its obscurities. He wants the audience to feel uncomfortable.

Since the play is situated in a kind of ‘netherland’, while the banqueting hall will be luxurious, the costume remains non-descript, as any specific period dress would betray the vision of a timeless setting. The experience of the play aims to be dream-like, and the lighting will be crucial in creating the disorienting feel of the second half, when it is ambiguous whether the

Harley Viveash Brasenose

audience is experiencing events objectively, or from within the mind of the protagonist.

A dissonant, atonal arrangement of Purcell’s Timon Opera punctuates the play at intervals, as the drunken pianist totters over to the piano to hammer out what Rolfe describes as a “poisoned” version of Purcell’s original music.

“It’s the quintessential Oxford experience: black tie, Medieval hall, Shakespeare”, says producer, Frank Lawton, after discussing the decision to include two gala performances in the run of four shows, at which formal dress and banquet food will add to the luxurious atmosphere. Rolfe hopes the audience’s elegant attire at these performances will help them immerse themselves even more authentically in the play.

The event is sure to hold all of the celebration and tradition that one would expect from a Magdalen garden show, but the performance of Timon of Athens, stripped back to its obscurities and absurdities and reduced to an hour and a half of intense theatre, will bring the audience into the disorienting world of magic realism. Rolfe’s final comment resonates over the panelled walls and stone floors of the hall: “It’s Shakespeare doing Beckett before Beckett”.

Know Your Thesp Among other things, Harley is known on the Oxford drama scene for his remarkable versatility. At one moment he is sentencing Nazi war criminals in Judgment at Nuremberg, the next he is wafting around, sipping champagne in Semi Monde. Now Harley is trying his hand at directing in the upcoming production of Frankenstein. Let’s hope this doesn’t take him off the stage for too long.

30 | Sport

Cherwell | 16.05.14

Manchester City FC take the Premier League title again Jacob Rabinowitz reviews the 2014 Barclays Premier League after a thoroughly entertaining last day of the season

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low and steady doesn’t always win the race. Nevertheless, in this year’s Barclays Premier League, consistency and sustainable strength reigned supreme. In a final day that killed off any remaining hope of a Liverpool snatch-and-grab, Manchester City saw through a routine 2-0 win over West Ham to secure the title for the second time in three years.

To say that their season has been steady and stable is not to cast aspersions on their style: their football has, at times, been scintillating.

They have been ruthless in their destruction of lesser teams to an extent not usually seen in a league as competitive as the Premier League,

recording a 7-0 victory against Norwich and 5-0 against Fulham, to name but two. Even more impressively, City have shown no fear against teams closer to them in ability, thrashing Spurs 6-0 and 5-1, although their record against title challengers Liverpool and Chelsea has, admittedly, been less impressive. City, then, have been every bit as free-scoring as Liverpool, their title rivals.

When we talk about City’s stability, then, we largely mean that there has been no great collapse, no notable dip in form at any point in the season: they have dropped points in consecutive games only twice, both times a loss

followed by a draw. They are, in short, a juggernaut.The contrast with Liverpool, then, is clear.

Between 8 February, when Liverpool issued a bold statement in beating Arsenal 5-1, and 20 April, when they narrowly survived a late Norwich recovery to win 3-2, Liverpool did not drop a single point; they won eleven consecutive league matches.

Indeed, when they beat Manchester City in the tenth of these, they looked set for a historic title triumph. Less than a month later, having fallen prey to Mourinho’s tactical mastery and Tony Pulis’ much revived Crystal Palace outfit, their title hopes were in tatters. They started the last day of the season with a faint hope still glimmering – if they could beat Newcastle, and West Ham could defeat City, the title would be theirs.

The day, however, did not go to plan, with a Skrtel own-goal putting Liverpool behind after twenty minutes. Though they would go on to rescue the game and win 2-1, the victory was not even bittersweet: in the context of their late surrender of the Premier League title, it meant nothing at all. Viewers, moreover, will have felt cheated at the notable lack of a crying Luis Suarez.

Elsewhere in the league, Chelsea came from behind to beat Cardiff, a team condemned to an ignominious return to the Championship, whilst Manchester United managed to salvage only a draw at St Mary’s. So much for Giggsiola. There was late drama at Craven Cottage – though nothing, of course, on this year’s Varsity football match – as Fulham scored a ninetieth minute equaliser to leave the top flight with a bang (if rescuing a last-minute draw at home to Crystal Palace can really be considered a ‘bang’).

Though the fourth place trophy was already in the cabinet by kick-off, Arsenal fans will have drawn confidence from their team’s 2-0 win at Carrow Road; the performance, especially that of Aaron Ramsey, who chipped in with a delightful volley, bodes well for next week’s FA Cup Final. For Norwich, meanwhile,

their fate in the Championship was finally confirmed. Arsenal’s North London neighbours, Tottenham, cruised to a 3-0 victory against Aston Villa, securing their entry into the highly prestigious Europa League next season.

From North London to the North East, Sunderland – who were mathematically safe before Sunday’s games – proved that they genuinely only play properly when they can be bothered to do so, losing 3-1 to Swansea. Everton, meanwhile, beat Hull 2-0, while a late goal from Charlie Adam dragged Stoke to their best league finish since 1975, completing a 2-1 victory away to West Brom.

Manchester City, then, are champions, while Steven Gerrard will be wondering where it all went wrong (it’s quite clear, actually, Steven), Mourinho’s Chelsea occupy third place, followed by Arsenal. Manchester United, meanwhile, finished seventh, leaving them out of Europe for the first time in a quarter of a century. Few pundits are predicting that the lack of ‘European distraction’ will see United storm to a title victory next season.

At the bottom of the table, Norwich, Fulham, and Cardiff were relegated. Norwich fans, who required a victory at the Emirates combined with a 17-0 victory for Stoke over West Brom in order to stay up, are said to be shell-shocked.

Cardiff fans can look forward to Vincent Tan’s summer signings Lionel Messi and Cristiano Ronaldo, while the Fulham faithful will surely take comfort in being quite liked by everyone.

Transfer rumours have already began circulating, with Liverpool bidding for Southampton captain Adam Lallana. and rumours aboumding of Luke Shaw moving to Manchester United In a season in which Liverpool threatened to buck the trend, the Premier League ended as most predicted it would, with City champions.

August cannot come soon enough. But while we lie in anticipation of epic clashes like Leicester vs Hull and West Brom vs Sunderland, there is the small matter of the Summer’s World Cup in Brazil to tide us over.

Tables and Results BUCS Men’s Cricket Premier B South

BUCS Women’s Water Polo Premier South

BUCS Women’s Lacrosse Premier South BUCS Women’s Volleyball Final 8s Group A

#

Team

P

RR

Pts

#

Team

P

GD

Pts

#

Team

P

GD

Pts

1

Bristol 1

2

2.848

6

1

Cambridge 2

7

52

18

1

Cambridge 1

10

82

25

#

Team

P

GD

Pts

2

Cardiff Met 1

2

2.719

6

2

Cardiff 1

7

25

18

2

Bristol 1

9

35

16

1

Northumbria 1

3

5

9

3

Surrey 1

2

-1.409

3

3

Bristol 1

7

37

15

3

Exeter 1

9

43

15

2

Durham 1

3

3

6

4

Bath 1

3

-0.571

3

4

Birmingham 1

7

47

15

4

Oxford 1

9

51

15

3

Oxford 1

3

-3

3

5

Oxford 1

1

-0.833

0

5

Oxford 1

7

-10

7

5

Bath 1

9

-21

10

4

Lancaster 1

3

-5

1

6

Aberystwyth 1

1

-5.007

0

6

Bath 1

7

-39

7

6

Cardiff 1

10

-190

-3

BUCS Men’s Cricket Midlands 3A

BUCS Men’s Volleyball Midlands 1A

BUCS Men’s Lacrosse Premier South

#

Team

P

RR

Pts

#

Team

P

GD

Pts

#

Team

P

GD

Pts

1

Oxford 2

1

1.395

3

1

Cranfield 1

10

27

29

1

Exeter 1

9

87

24

2

Northampton 1

1

0.289

3

2

Warwick 1

10

4

18

2

Bristol 1

10

65

24

3

Nottingham Trent 2

0

0

0

3

Cambridge 1

10

3

14

3

Bath 1

9

21

21

4

Oxford Brookes 2

0

0

0

4

Loughborough 1

10

-2

14

4

Oxford 1

10

-44

9

5

Anglia Ruskin Camb’ 1

1

-0.289

0

5

Birmingham 1

10

-11

9

5

Portsmouth 1

10

-48

6

6

Cranfield

1

-1.395

0

6

Oxford 1

10

-21

3

6

Plymouth 1

10

-81

0

BUCS Men’s Water Polo Championship Semi Finals A #

Team

P

GD

Pts

1

Leeds 1

3

9

6

2

Manchester 1

3

8

6

3

Edinburgh 1

3

-8

6

4

Oxford 1

3

-7

0

16.05.14 | Cherwell

Sporting The Sporting Bio Rock Stars

This week Jamie Farmer takes a look at one of Britain’s most famous cyclists Mark Cavendish Professional Cyclist

Y

ou would be hard pressed to find a sport that has enjoyed more British successes in recent years than cycling.

Britain has produced the last two Tour de France winners in Bradley Wiggins and Chris Froome, and managed 12 medals (8 Gold, 2 silver, 2 bronze) at the London Olympics.

This week’s sporting rockstar, Mark Cavendish, has not gained any of these accolades. But this should not take away from the fact he is one of Britain’s most successful athletes.

Like all sprint cyclists, Cavendish is not interested in winning mountainous stages on Grand Tour competitions, hence why he does not receive the same publicity as his compatriots. As a heavier cyclist, his strength lies in his quads which propel him at the final sprint on the flat stages.

His success as a sprinter is impressive. 25 Tour de France stage wins to date, 11 wins in his first professional season, 3rd in the all-time list of Grand Tour stages victories (43 in total), and the first person to win the final Champs-Élysées stage at the Tour de France in four consecutive years. He has also gained points classification in all 3 grand tours (Vuelta a Espana 2010, Tour de France 2011 and the 2013 Giro d’Italia).

Yet he has had some famous setbacks; most memorably in the 2012 London Olympics, where he was favourite to win a medal in the men’s road race which included a support team dubbed “the dream team” of Wiggins, Froome, Stannard and Millar. Unfortunately, having to set the pace for most of the race and with little support, the group were unable to propel Cavendish to victory. He later insinuated that the competitors had deliberately refrained from helping an overly-successful British team. Famously, when asked by a BBC reporter whether his failure to win a medal may have been due to tiredness, Cavendish stormed off in anger asking whether the reporter knew anything about cycling.

Indeed, Cavendish is no stranger to controversy. He has never been afraid to speak his mind (his twitter page contains the disclaimer “may cause offence”). One of his more expressive moments came in 2010 at the Tour de Romandie, where he gave a two fingered salute to his critics upon crossing the finish line who apparently “knew jack shit about cycling”. He is also not afraid to take it out on his teammates. He refused to speak with Bradley Wiggins after failing to win in the Maddison at the 2008 Beijing Olympic Games as he felt that Wiggins had not performed to the best of his ability. His ego, and involvement in a few controversial crashes, has not always made him popular with fans, one of whom expressed his anger in the 2013 Tour de France by throwing a bottle of urine at him.

However, in spite of the odd incident, one cannot help but feel Cavendish is winning in life. He has a young family with former model Peta Todd and has received national acclaim, winning sports personality of the year 2011 and was given an MBE for his services to cycling. Without doubt his colourful character and continued success will keep him at the top of British cycling for the foreseeable future.

Sport | 31

Ballroom Cuppers: perhaps the most elegant Cuppers sport?

Joel Nelson takes a look at the upcoming ballroom dancing Cuppers tournament

D

ancing is rarely thought of in Oxford as a sport or as a pastime which encourages competition. This is a misconception. Oxford has its own Dancesport Club (the OUDC), and its Cuppers competition is taking place this Trinity term. Dancers compete for the coveted Acheson Shield and Rob Stevens Memorial Cup. In this inter-college competition, teams of four couples compete in one of four ballroom dances (the waltz, quickstep, cha and jive) and, to encourage fairness and participation, at least one member of each partnership must be a beginner. This additional rule ensures that previously inexperienced college members involve themselves in the sphere of competitive dancing and this is one of the ways in which the OUDC recognises latent talent.

Beginners, often accompanied by an experienced dancer from their college who acts as a supplementary coach, attend a number of two hour training sessions, held in various locations around Oxford, where they learn the four dances. Then, having decided which routine they prefer, a couple will work to refine their chosen dance for a few weeks before the competition begins. Progress is rapid and impressive. The final routines are polished and highly accomplished.

The Oxford University Dancesport Club has a long and illustrious history. It was founded in 1968 in response to founder Janice Jones’ ‘disappointment when [she] discovered that there was no Ballroom Dance Club at Oxford’. From these relatively humble beginnings the society has gone from strength to strength, participating in numerous prestigious competitions. In recognition of its success the Club was given Full Blue status in 1997 for women while, in 2003, men received discretionary Full Blues status. The OUDC received affiliation with the University in 1969 and began its own Varsity competitions soon after. It has regularly triumphed over Cambridge in these. While its main team is one of the country’s most successful dancesport teams the Club is keen to encourage and train beginners.

A Beginners Team is a central component of the Club. While dancers of semi-professional

standard are encouraged and supported, the same reinforcement is offered to the inexperienced. Cuppers is a central component of this strategy. The Acheson Shield is awarded to the highest scoring team while the college with the most points wins the Rob Stevens Memorial Cup. Many of the OUDC’s main team members first began dancing due to their participation in this competition.

Participants receive training from the OUDC’s legendary head coach Bruce Richardson. It is primarily through Bruce’s inspired coaching that the University of Oxford has experienced such outstanding success in the National University Championships. He has led teams to victory in this competition on an unprecedented eleven occasions. A further testament to the quality of his teaching came in 2009 when he reached the shortlist for the Carl Alan awards (dubbed the ‘Oscars of dance’). It is primarily through this expertise, patience and friendly approach that beginners are able to make such rapid progress.

One beginner participant of the Cuppers training commented, “I had never even considered dancing as a sport before this competition, let alone one which I would get involved with. A friend of mine signed us up and I turned up thinking it was a joke. It wasn’t and I’ve been having a fantastic time this past week.

I am really excited to get the shiny trousers as well. Bruce is great and six hours of practise has flown past and, once Cuppers is over, I’m definitely going to remain involved. Who knows, maybe one day I’ll be in the OUDC’s main team.”

A first year mathematician, who expressed that he was a former sceptic, professed himself delighted with this competition commenting that “dance widens participation in sport and compared to male dominated sport there isn’t a sexist divide in it. Is sign up for this year still open and do you know any girls I could do it with?”

A participant, and beginner, Anna TurnerMajor explained that “There is nothing more relaxing and enjoyable than dancing. I signed myself up with an unsuspecting friend and we are making really good progress and are looking forward to tearing up the boards at Cup-

pers. I did not realise how close I would have to dance with him though! I am hoping to do well. That might be a bit optimistic but as Matt Biondi says ‘Persistence can change failure into extraordinary achievement’’’. While many have expressed amusement that dancing could be so popular a pastime, Thomas Calver, a second year English student at Jesus, was unsurprised, commenting that “Dancing is a sport like any other. It involves competition and requires immense commitment, talent and flair. I would like to see Wayne Rooney get up every morning at 5 to train for the dance Olympics or whatever. I don’t think it is a thing but it should be!”

Exploring the magic world of University quidditch Jack Lennard gives us an overview of one of Oxford’s fastest growing new sports

Q

uidditch isn’t something that most people have to schedule tutorials around.

When told about it, many people ask if it’s actually real. But the bruises and aches through your body feel as real as any rowing, football, or rugby injury. In fact, quidditch (we use a lower case ‘q’ when talking about the sport) has been around for several years now – and it just keeps on attracting new audiences.

Let’s clear one thing up right now – no, we can’t fly. Other than that, the game is remarkably similar to the sport from Harry Potter.

Each team has 7 players on the pitch, each carrying a broom (generally a length of wood or PVC) between their legs. There are 3 chasers, who take the quaffle (a semi-deflated volleyball) and put it through the hoops for 10 points a time. They have to watch out for the beaters (2 on each team), who have dodgeballs. If you’re hit by one, you have to get off your broom and run back to your hoops, before rejoining play.

Finally, the seekers try and catch the snitch, who is someone dressed in yellow with a sock and tennis ball hanging out the back of their

shorts. If a seeker can win that mini game of tag rugby, and grab the snitch, then that team gets 30 points (rather than the huge amount from the books, because JK Rowling doesn’t know how balanced sports work) and the game ends.

The sport is very much full-contact, and remarkably physical – if you’re expecting a bunch of people who have more interest in Harry Potter than in athletics, you’ll be disappointed.

But it’s also perhaps the most inclusive sport in the world. It is open to anyone of any gender – that includes those who do not conform to the gender binary, such as agender individuals. In fact, the official rulebook states that: “During a quidditch game, each team must have at least two players in play who identify with a different gender than at least two other players. The gender that a player identifies with is considered to be that player’s gender.” This allows anyone, regardless of gender, to take part in the sport at an equal level.

When someone I met told me about quidditch before university, and I mentioned I had an offer from Oxford, they told me that I was lucky, as I would be “joining the Manchester United of quidditch”.

I can see how right they were – Oxford is at the top of the European quidditch world.

We hosted the first annual British and Irish Quidditch Cup last November, which had 16 teams from across the British Isles take part – and our first team, the Radcliffe Chimeras, went and won it. That team then went on to play in the first ever European Quidditch Cup in Brussels this year – and they won, beating one of the two Paris teams to become European Champions. In fact, so many people wanted

to get involved that we had to set up a second team for the current academic year – the Quidlings, who have created their own team identity and gone on to make their mark nationally, finishing in the top 7 in the British Quidditch Cup. Oxford University Quidditch Club also has no fewer than 9 players on the 21-strong squad that will represent the United Kingdom in the Global Games this summer in Vancouver, taking on the best national teams the world has to offer.

A lot of you might be reading this and wondering whether this sport is really for you. It’s a fair enough concern – with two or three practices a week, and regular fi xtures, quidditch is hardly relaxing. It takes a lot of hard work.

But don’t let that put you off – it’s also regularly reported as one of the most welcoming communities out there, not just within Oxford, but across every team that makes up this sport. I feel honoured to be able to call some of the people I see every week at quidditch some of my best friends – and I guarantee that if you come along to a couple of practices yourself, you’ll be hooked too.

It’s an exciting time for quidditch – the International Quidditch Association (IQA) has just had a major reshuffle, allowing QuidditchUK (the FA to the IQA’s FIFA, if you want to get football-y about things) far more autonomy in setting up national competitions. We practice every Wednesday and Saturday in University Parks at 2pm, and newcomers are very much welcome.

Whatever your preconceptions are of the sport, come along and give it a go – nobody leaves disappointed. Who knows? Maybe you’ll be helping lift our next trophy with us.

Sport

INSIDE: Joel Nelson on Ballroom Cuppers Jamie Farmer on Mark Cavendish

Pistol Cuppers set to go off with a bang this Trinity Priscilla Hoi Lam Fung previews the upcoming Pistol Cuppers tournament open to all

Y

ou won’t ever break a sweat. You can do it in skinny jeans and boat shoes. You’ll never hear of a pre-Varsity drinking ban. Yet it’s arguably the toughest sport you can take up at Oxford: unforgiving, mentally demanding, and offering immediate, unambiguous feedback on your performance.

If you’re up to the challenge – like the 30 teams of novices competing in the club’s annual Cuppers tournament in 4th week – pistol shooting might just be the sport for you.

A shooting sport is a competitive sport involving tests of proficiency (accuracy and speed) using various types of guns, such as firearms and airguns. Hunting is also a shooting sport, and indeed shooting live pheasants was an Olympic event (albeit only once, in 1900).

Competitive pistol shooting combines focus, precision, and speed. While Cuppers is designed with complete beginners in mind, higher-level shooting requires disciplined and dedicated training. A number of the members of Oxford University Pistol Club take part in competitions which require 60 precision shots to be fired one after another – a test of concentration and mental stamina. Others specialize in aptly-named “Rapid Fire” competitions, in which they must hit the centres of five different targets in the space of four seconds.

Despite this, OUPC is welcoming to beginners – and most of its members have no experience of shooting before arriving at university. Because it is only mentally, rather than physically, taxing, the sport is open to people with disabilities, and, at university level, men and women compete together.

“It’s probably the most equal-opportunities sport there is,” says Josh More, a Chemistry DPhil student who has now been shooting for two and a half years. “The main factor is how well you cope with pressure. If you get stressed out in competition, you start trying too hard, and then you lose points. Ironically, the best way to shoot well is to go into every competition thinking, ‘I don’t care [about the score]. I

literally just don’t care.’”

Because pistol shooting is scored individually and numerically, a shooter’s performance in competition is unambiguous and available for all to see. This is one of the factors that makes the pressure of shooting greater than that of other sports.

“It’s brutal because there’s nowhere to hide,” says Isobel Gordon, a fourth year linguist who started shooting in Michaelmas. “If you shoot poorly, you get a low score, which feels quite shit – but we’ve all had bad days so we’re all re-

ally supportive of each other. And it’s an amazing feeling when you have a day when you shoot really well. It’s such a great adrenaline rush.”

Cuppers, which will be held on Thursday of 4th week, will be a variant on the crowdpleasing Falling Plates competition: teams will race to knock down 5 targets in the shortest possible time.

The 16 teams with the best times will qualify for the final stage, in which they will go headto-head in a three-round knockout tournament.

By the end of the night, fifteen teams will have

been knocked out, and the surviving team will be crowned Pistol Cuppers Champions 2014.

For beginner teams, training will be provided over the course of 3rd week. Teams will be coached in all the basics elements of marksmanship, and the competition is open to anyone, including those who haven’t shot before. Colleges are welcome to enter more than one team of two.

To join the club or to watch Cuppers, contact Priscilla Fung (OUPC Captain): captain@oupc. ox.ac.uk..

Tennis in Oxford: Summer sports dominate Trinity

Matthew Morrow reflects on a successful season so far and previews the upcoming tennis Varsity match

T

his year has been an extremely successful one for the Blues Tennis Team. They finished second in the Southern Premier League, behind a strong Bath team. This is the highest finish for the Oxford team for many years. Their most notable wins came against Exeter and Bournemouth, both of which were away fixtures. Oxford University Lawn Tennis Club boasts 3 Men’s and Women’s teams, and also offers weekly coaching for its social members. It is a club for all standards, whether experienced players who are looking to test themselves against some of the best university sides in the country, or complete beginners, who want to learn the basics.

The win over Exeter was particularly impressive. Oxford have not beaten Exeter away in this important fixture for a number of years. Their strict training regime of over 20 hours of training and fitness a week, which is not quite possible in Oxford, meant that Exeter went into the match having had more time on the court, and with more match fitness. The win is, therefore, testament to the hard work of OULTC and the skill of its players.

The Oxford team also went far in the cup.

Through demolishing Cardiff Met 6-0, the

team made it to the Cup semi-final, which is yet another success to have not been achieved for several years. Only a very strong Durham team, winners of the Northern Premier League, stopped Oxford from progressing to the final.

The team now has a very busy Trinity term to look forward to. After more intensive training on the grass courts at Iffley and numerous friendlies against various county teams, the Varsity Match on 30th June – 2nd July is set to be a very exciting, and highly competitive fixture.

After the disappointment of last year’s tight defeat, the team are hungry for revenge this year. There is no question that it will take a huge effort to be victorious, but the team are well prepared and ready to give everything to make sure Cambridge don’t take home the trophy this time round according to the club president Peter Whight. The Lawn Tennis Cuppers tournament is also taking place this term, with the round of 16 to take place in 3rd week. The final will be held on Sunday 8th June (Sunday of 6th week). First seed, Worcester, and second seed, St. Catherine’s, are through to the round of 16 after winning their first round matches. As the draw stands, they are set to meet each other in the final.