Cherwell 5th Week Vol.272 No.6

Friday 30th May 2014

www.cherwell.org

Inside: C+ Investigates College Fines

Baroness Lawrence on racism and education

Catherine Bearder on being the last Lib Dem MEP

Cherwell Independent since 1920

5th Week Vol. 272, No. 6

China Association’s democracy questioned Stan Lalanne News Reporter

Ben Sullivan escapes vote of no confidence

Oxford Union votes not to pursue no-confidence motion after heated debate Cherwell News Team

OXFORD UNION PRESIDENT Ben Sullivan avoided a vote of no confidence on Thursday evening after members voted to withdraw the motion.

After a three-hour debate, Union member Inigo Lapwood proposed to cancel the motion of no confidence on grounds that “whichever way people voted would have had a non-negligible effect on the ongoing criminal proceeding”. The motion not to vote passed 254 to 101.

The original motion “This House has no confidence in the president, Benjamin Sullivan, Christ Church” was posted in the Union last Thursday, 15th May, and was signed by over 30 members.

This came in response to Sullivan’s arrest on 7th May on suspicion of rape and attempted rape.

Aleksy Gaj, who proposed the motion of no confidence, stood first to address the packed chamber. Gaj told the House, “Tonight, my speech is not a comment on the allegations made against Mr Sullivan. It is not to pervert the course of justice in the British legal

system.

“This is a sad time for Mr Sullivan and his friends, I agree. But this is no basis to be running the Union as its figurehead and president,” he concluded.

The heated debate that followed saw a range of issues raised, including worries about affecting Sullivan’s court case and faltering public opinion of the Union.

Speaking about the allegations of sexual assault against Sullivan, one student present at the debate commented, “I have suffered in the past; I know what it is like. But that doesn’t mean I don’t believe someone should be judged before they go to Court.”

Inigo Lapwood, who proposed the motion to drop the no-confidence vote under Rule 43d ii, also emphasised the need to avoid using the Union as a courtroom.

“I would not risk having an innocent man declared guilty, or a guilty man evade justice due to Union bullshit.

Rape allegations are too serious to be hijacked and wielded as a weapon for student political agendas,” Lapwood stated.

Sullivan did not attend the debate

due to fear of contempt of court. A prepared statement was read during the debate on his behalf by the Chair, former Secretary Alex Trafford.

“The proposition will of course note that this debate has nothing to do with the allegations against me. However, I think it will be difficult to divorce my suitability to hold my office from the validity of the allegations against me.

As I have said before, if I am charged, I will resign.”

“But passing a vote of no confidence at a time when I am not even able to defend myself would, I believe, go against everything the greater society stands for,” Sullivan’s statement read.

Speaking immediately after the debate, Sullivan told Cherwell, “I am pleased that the House has decided to defer to the appropriate procedures of the criminal justice system.”

Although the President did not attend the debate, members reported seeing Sullivan standing outside the Union as members exited the chamber.

Aliya Yule, a student at the debate, told Cherwell, “Ben Sullivan said that his presence could possibly prejudice

a court and he was told not to be here.

He was here, he was standing outside when it happened. He was watching everyone come out, he was hugging his friends as they voted for the motion to be removed.

“It created an incredibly intimidating atmosphere, it was unbelievably insensitive to survivors of sexual assault, many of whom were in the chamber some of whom voiced their experiences and it further shows how the Union and Ben do not take these rape allegations seriously.”

Sullivan rejected these allegations, commenting, “I was outside soon after the vote speaking to some of my close friends. I am not sure how this constituted an intimidating atmosphere, especially given that the vote had already taken place” A motion to bring in a Re-Open Nominations candidate at Union elections had been scheduled to be debated after the no-confidence motion, however too few members were left in the chamber for a constitutional change to be made. The motion will be discussed at a future meeting but will not be in place during this term’s elections.

THE OXFORD CHINESE Students and Scholars Association (OXCSSA) has come under criticism from an anonymous whistleblower for a lack of democracy in the election of its senior members.

A translation of the Chinese language version of the society’s constitution, available on the OXCSSA website, reveals substantial differences between the Chinese and English language versions of the society constitution. In practice, the Chinese version appears to be the document by which the society is governed.

Article X of the Chinese language constitution specifies that, “Ordinary members do not have the right to vote or stand for election”. The translation of a society newsletter confirmed that ordinary members, while able to attend the upcoming Annual General Meeting (AGM), are unable to run for election or vote.

An email translation suggests that the society, which has approximately 2,500 members, invited only around eighty to attend its AGM last year.

Continued, p. 5

Men can’t keep thinking of women as rewards Comment, page 6

Looking ahead to a dubious year abroad Lifestyle, page 13

Green and pleasant lands: landscape in art Culture, page 24

Cherwell | 30.05.14

2 | News

GrVIII time on the Isis

STUDENTS OF VARIOUS skill levels have this week taken part in the first days of Summer VIIIs, the University’s pre-eminent intercollegiate rowing competition.

Participants aim to ‘bump’ the boat in front of them, competing for the honour of

‘winning blades’, which is achieved by bumping on every day of the competition, or, for competitors at the top of the men and women’s divisions, by reaching the top of their division and maintaining their position.

Boats that bump will start ahead of the

boat that they bumped the day before.

Second-year rower Liz English told Cherwell, “It’s been exhausting, stressful and wet, but a lot of fun regardless”.

Likewise, Graduate rower Mio Stamboldjieff remarked, “For me it has been stressfull

Proposal to axe Human Sciences at New College New College JCR has challenged the proposal of governing body to stop offering Human Sciences Georgia Latham News Reporter NEW COLLEGE JCR is challenging its governing body’s proposal to stop offering Human Sciences.

Sparked by the upcoming departure of the current Head of Human Sciences, the place of the subject within the College is being reviewed. As set out in a JCR motion, one of the reasons it might be discontinued is that, over the last six years, four Human Sciences students have received 2:2s and so, “It has not boosted our Norrington Score as much as some other subjects.”

The point was raised by the JCR that ‘Norrington viability’ should not affect the diversity of subjects offered by New College. A member of the JCR also pointed out that two of the students who received 2:2s had previously rusticated on account of mental health issues.

Other reasons to discontinue the subject included the fact that it would be difficult to find a qualified enough replacement and that the college is looking to reduce the overall size of the JCR. Andrew Wills, the JCR Academic Affairs rep, told Cherwell, “At the JCR meeting there were a few interesting points brought up such as the future of the course across the University if New College stopped offering it. The Norrington position was mentioned as a possible reason for College considering removing it, but I think that was more speculative rather than being based on any substantial evidence. We decided that we would let college know

our opinion: that they shouldn’t cut the course (especially not for academic reasons); and that if they do decide to drop the course then we would quite like to know their reasoning for doing so. Personally, I don’t believe that the decision to bring this up now is at all influenced by the Norrington Table result; and I think that the JCR would be quite upset if it were as that isn’t at all what we as a college focus on.

“I’ve spoken to some long-term members of the SCR and they strongly disagreed that the Norrington table came into it. The reasoning is more along the lines of the Human Sciences tutor is leaving, so now is the natural time to ask the question of whether college continue to offer HumSci, as a course, or not.

“Apparently it’s a discussion that they have every time a tutor from a small course leaves.

One of the fellows I talked to said that since we’re currently at the top of the Norrington Table there would be no need to do something as drastic as cutting courses to try and improve our position!”

New College students contacted also expressed concern that the proposal may negatively affect the performance of current New College Human Scientists, as a temporary

head of Human Sciences may not be the best qualified for the position.

Human Sciences is a multidisciplinary course which studies the biological, social and cultural aspects of human life. It has an intake of 31 students per year across the University and New College is one of only 10 colleges to offer it as an undergraduate degree.

Mark Griffith, Senior Tutor at New College, told Cherwell, “Prof. Chan, UL in Sociology and the Tutorial Fellow responsible for Human Sciences, is leaving and the College is reviewing the future of his post and the future of Human Sciences here. Governing Body will address the recommendations of its Academic Strategy Committee in 8th week. The Committee is still considering the matter.

“Whatever the outcome, the College will ensure that teaching of the highest quality is provided for its existing Human Sciences undergraduates.”

knowing that every stroke I take affects not only the boat overall performance, but my fellow oarsmen’s individual input. We’ve come a long way from the day we began training, we’ve made visible progress”.

Alex Stronell

The week in figures

3.2% Percentage of OXCSSA entitled to vote in annual elections in 2013

11% Actual turnout for the NUS affiliation referendum

19.5 Number of hours Christ Church students will be without rooms

30.05.14 | Cherwell

News | 3

Christ Church finalists face eviction during ball College proposes to make students leave rooms for security reasons, JCR contests decision Tom Calver News Reporter CHRIST CHURCH STUDENTS, some still in the middle of exams, face being removed from their rooms by college authorities over the weekend of the college ball.

In a JCR motion, it is reported , citing nonspecific “security reasons”, that the college has ordered that students living in Meadows, Old Library and Tom Quad areas leave their rooms from the 21st June, barring their return until the following day.

The College previously stated that the restrictions would only last during the period the ball itself is being held.

However, as well as extending the ban period, students have accused the college of not making any specific dispensation for members with examinations.

“

they are a security risk is distasteful.”

However, Christ Church Dean Rachel Perham insisted that students would not be barred from their rooms until the afternoon of the 22nd, as the JCR motion has suggested.

“As happens at many other colleges,” she said, “Undergraduates will vacate rooms within the ball perimeter from 12 noon on the day of the ball and be escorted back in groups after the ball between 6.30 and 7.30 am the following morning.”

Perham also refuted the suggestion that the college was working against the wishes of students, telling Cherwell,

This House is our house, and displacing members, but not alumni and nonstudents...is distasteful

“These arrangements were proposed by the ball committee whose members are mainly undergraduate students, and are the result of lengthy negotiations with the JCR.” In response to claims that the college had made “no specific dispensation” for members with examinations, the college has agreed to give “students with public examinations on the day of the ball or at the beginning of week 9 priority in allocation of alternative accommodation should they not wish to attend the ball.”

Perham stated that there would be “special arrangements for those who need to access their belongings after examinations on the morning of t h e ball.”

In an emergency JCR meeting held on Sunday, a drafted motion claimed, “This lack of foreknowledge has limited the options of students living in affected areas and constitutes the ticket contract to now be unfair.”

It added, “This House is our house, and displacing members, but not alumni and nonstudents, from their residence on the basis

However, it would seem that claims by the students’ JCR motion for the college to “reimburse members for the cost of finding alternative accommodation” have been disregarded, with Christ Church college stating, “Undergraduate licence agreements cover the period until 9.30 am on the day of the

“

These arrangements were proposed by the ball committee, whose members are mainly undergraduate students Ball, and residence after this time requires special permission, […] there is no question of undergraduates being evicted from rooms.”

Meanwhile, Felix Goodman, a student at Christ Church, spoke in favour of the college’s decision, telling Cherwell that, “The Ball as it is is going to be a security nightmare”.

He further stated that he could, “completely understand the college’s desire to make their job slightly easier by shutting these rooms,” suspecting that, “the reason for closing many of these rooms on the night of the ball is to reduce the opportunity for sniper cover.”

Negotiations continue between the JCR and the college.

The JCR President was unavailable for comment when approached by Cherwell.

OUSU ban advertising of LIFE Support for fossil fuel divestment LIFE denounces OUSU’s decision to ban advertising of the charity

More common rooms show support ahead of demonstration

Megan Gibbons News Editor

Robert Walmsley Deputy Editor

PRO-LIFE CHARITY LIFE has denounced OUSU Council’s decision to ban advertising of the charity and other similar organisations which provide “directive abortional advice”.

The motion, proposed by Sarah Pine, OUSU VP for Women, and seconded by Alasdair Lennon, St. Johns’ JCR President, referenced OUSU’s pro-choice policy, whereby they maintain the stance that the best person to make decisions around pregnancy is the person themselves.

It states that they, “deserve impartial and non-directional information and advice” and that “LIFE’s counselling and publicity is directive.” It mentioned in particular the LIFE statement that, “you can take the time, with our support, to work through all of your options and discover what is best for you whilst still being against abortion in all circumstances.”

The motion argued that these kinds of “antichoice messages” could be upsetting and stated that “organisations that give misleading advice can be actively harmful.”

The motion passed but the second clause, stating that OUSU would never give a platform to any organisation which provides directional advice around abortion or campaign’s against women’s right to choose was removed.

LIFE spokesperson Anne Scanlan said, “OUSU is simply restating its pro-abortion policy instituted against LIFE many years ago. If the Union was truly pro-choice, as it claims to be, it would encourage greater access to all counselling services for pregnant women considering abortion such as the counselling and skilled listening services offered by LIFE which also provides accommodation and practical support to pregnant women who choose to keep their baby. Why would a truly pro-choice group want to deny them that?”

THE CAMPAIGN TO MAKE Oxford University ‘fossil free’ has gained extensive support from common rooms, ahead of a planned march on Oxford council and the University on Saturday 31st May. 19 common rooms have so far pledged support for the campaign, including nine JCRs and 10 MCRs. A motion was also passed in support of ending the University’s fossil fuel investments at OUSU Council in January. ‘The Fossil Free Future’ demonstration currently has over 150 people attending the event on Facebook.

The rally is planned to begin at 11am by the Radcliffe Camera, with the demonstration proceeding through Oxford to Bonn Square.

It seeks to bring together students, university academics and local activists.

The organisers have arranged several speakers for the event, including Dr Brenda Boardman, who is co-director of the UK Energy Research Centre.

The OUSU Environment and Ethics Campaign adopted fossil fuel divestment as its main project for the 2013-14 academic year, in Trinity term 2013.

The campaign believes a negative screening process should be applied to fossil fuel investments.

Campaigners are also calling for a list of the University’s investments to be published, in order to enhance transparency and student engagement.

In March 2014, the University’s Socially Responsible Investment Review Committee agreed to canvass the opinions of stakeholders on the question of possible divestment from companies ‘that participate in exploration for and/or extraction of fossil fuel reserves’.

She continued, “OUSU’s policy that “the best person to make decisions around pregnancy is the person themselves”, is not in conflict with LIFE’s non-directive counselling service.

“The motion speaks of organisations offering advice. LIFE does not offer advice. It offers non-directive counselling or skilled listening.

Counselling is a non-directive activity quite distinct from giving advice which does not happen in the counselling room. To imply that we are an organisation which gives misleading information which can be actively harmful is slanderous. OUSU should withdraw this statement immediately.”

President of Oxford Student’s for Life, told Cherwell, “While we opposed the entire motion, we’re very pleased that OUSU Council voted to defend free expression against an undemocratic no-platform clause.”

Pine and Lennon responded saying, “The LIFE motion proposed in OUSU Council passed with a democratic majority on 28th of May 2014. We are of the belief that LIFE’s mission and previous endorsement of abortion restrictions contradict its’ aims and activities. We are also of the belief that the presence of Life in OUSU publications and events can be triggering and as such may be harmful to women who have undergone an abortion. A student union has a duty of care to its members and should do its utmost to prevent them from harm.”

The Oxford fossil free divestment campaign is part of an international effort to end investment in fossil fuels and invest in more sustainable business models.

Eleven US colleges and universities, including Stanford University, have so far committed to pursue fossil free divestment.

Michaela Collard, a DPhil student at University College, commented, “As students, we come to Oxford and hear from its academics about the devastating effects of climate change and the need for action. It is clear, though, that the people who hold the power to change how our energy system works, the fossil fuel companies and politicians, are failing to heed the scientific warnings.

“By divesting from fossil fuels, Oxford University can show true moral and intellectual leadership. It can signal to our political leaders the need to follow its example and tackle climate change head on. The alternative is we stay quiet and stick with the status quo until it really is too late.”

James Rainey, a second year Biologist at Balliol College, said, “By investing in an industry intending to exploit four times more fossil fuel reserves than can be burned ‘safely,’ our University is unintentionally undermining our future. Divestment is needed to protect the integrity of Oxford, and build political pressure to prevent the carbon budget from being exceeded.”

4 | News

Cherwell | 30.05.14

Students unite OUSU homelessness survey measures student attitudes against violence Survey reveals some surprising student attitudes towards homelessness around the city towards women Tom Calver News Reporter

Ella Richards Deputy Editor STUDENTS AROUND OXFORD have been wearing white ribbons this week to protest against violence against women.

Starting this Monday, the OUSU Women’s Campaign is encouraging students to wear white ribbons on their exam subfusc along with a carnation, and to post a selfie on Facebook with the caption, “Wearing this white ribbon, I pledge never to commit, condone, or remain silent about violence against women.

The damage that gender-based violence can do should never be underestimated yet frequently is.”

Sarah Pine, OUSU VP for Women and one of the organisers of the campaign in Oxford, told Cherwell, “We’ve got through about 350 ribbons since Monday. Some JCR presidents have been particularly keen and have picked up lots for their finalists.”

She continued, “The feedback has been great; people seem really keen. Lots of people recognise how prevalent sexual violence is; one in four women experience sexual assault during their time at university. However, survivors can feel isolated because of the broader culture of stigma and silence around sexual violence.

By wearing a ribbon, students show that they support survivors, even those who have never spoken out. The message of the white ribbon is powerful: never commit, condone or remain silent around violence against women.”

“

By wearing a ribbon, students show that they support survivors, even those who have never spoken out Susannah Moody, a second-year at St Anne’s supporting the campaign, explained why she is supporting the campaign, “the damage inflicted by gender-based violence often lasts long after any physical signs have faded. I’m wearing this ribbon in the hope that those who go through this know that they are not alone and that there are many out there who are working to raise awareness and are willing to listen.”

Moody’s views were echoed by Lucy McCann, an Exeter fresher who is planning to wear her ribbon during prelims, “This is an important symbolic act of solidarity on behalf of Oxford students and students elsewhere who have suffered gendered violence. “ The Oxford campaign was inspired by the ‘red tape’ protest at the University of Columbia in the US. Last week, students at Columbia wore red tape on their caps during graduation in protest against the University’s “woefully inadequate” response to sexual violence on campus.

To obtain a white ribbon, students can email Sarah Pine at women@ousu.org

ONLY ONE PER CENT OF STUDENTS give money on a weekly basis to people who are begging on the street, a new survey by OUSU has revealed.

The survey, part of OUSU’s On Your Doorstep campaign, asked 1192 students about their attitudes towards homeless people in Oxford.

Ninety-four per cent of respondents agreed or strongly agreed that homelessness was a big problem in Oxford.

However, the survey has revealed an alarming lack of awareness about what students should do if they see someone sleeping rough; ninety-four per cent of respondents said they were unsure or didn’t know who to contact if they saw someone who was sleeping rough.

OUSU advice currently states that students should contact the charity StreetLink if they see someone sleeping rough.

Accepting that there was a problem with student awareness, OUSU’s Community and Charity rep Emily Silcock told Cherwell that the survey “seems to show that homelessness is really something that students are concerned about, but we’re often not very sure what to do about it.

“The aim of OUSU’s ‘On Your Doorstep’ campaign is to allow students to become informed and act on these issues. We aim to ensure that every student in Oxford knows who to contact if they see someone rough sleeping.

“We are planning on making this information very obvious to next year’s freshers, as well as organising awareness events and hopefully getting exposure in the student press.”

Jesus college student Aida Alonzo agreed with the need for more student awareness ofhow to tackle homelessness: “I think it would

be good to see information on how to help the homeless made accessible to students. From talking to peers and trying to get them involved in homeless action I get the sense that in a lot of cases the enthusiasm is there but students just don’t know how they should help. I myself remain unsure!”

The findings demonstrate an overwhelming discrepancy between reality and students’ perceptions of the causes of homelessness, with thirty-six per cent of students believing drug and alcohol addiction to be the highest factor in causing someone to be on the street. In reality, relationship breakdown was the most common cause at forty-one per cent, which only ten per cent of students assumed to be the largest factor.

Meanwhile, only two per cent of respondents thought that leaving prison was the most common cause of homelessness, when in reality it is responsible for a quarter of homeless people living on Oxford’s streets.

Former coordinator of the Homeless Action Group Amy Ertan told Cherwell that she is “not too surprised by these discrepancies on the believed causes of homelessness. The fact is homelessness is usually the result of several things going wrong, often out of the control of the person in question. Factors such as poor men-

tal health and relationship isolation are huge contributors to the insecurity that can lead to someone sleeping rough or sleeping without stable housing.”

Sixty-five per cent of students thought that at least half of all homeless people were suffering from mental health problems, yet the real figure is closer to one in four. Similarly, sixtynine per cent of respondents thought that at least half of all homeless people had some sort of addiction problem, while statistics from the charity Homeless Link claim that under twofifths of homeless people have drug problems.

The survey also brought up the issue of giving money to people begging on the street.

Forty-five per cent of respondents “never give money to people who are begging”, while thirty-five per cent were “unsure as to whether giving money directly to people who are begging is a good thing.”

Almost all of the services in Oxford currently support the campaign ‘Your Kindness Can Kill,’ which advises against giving money, food, or anything else to people who are on the streets.

Homeless charity Broadway has said that the biggest thing that students could do to help people who are rough sleeping is to stop giving money to people who are begging.

St Hugh’s student Amy Ertan told Cherwell that while ‘Your Kindness Can Kill’ has great intentions, “there needs to be more emphasis on other ways to help… for example, buying a Big Issue from a registered seller is supporting a long-term solution that helps someone stand on their own two feet.”

Meanwhile, the survey suggested that more students are volunteering for homeless charities than regularly give money to people begging. Three per cent of students are said to volunteer at least “once a week”, while sixteen per cent volunteer less than once a month.

Hertford JCR votes to subsidise Mooncups

Hertford has passed a motion to subsidise half the cost of Mooncups for the JCR Esther Hodges News Reporter A MOTION HAS PASSED to subsidise the purchase of Mooncups by members of Hertford JCR. The motion stated, “Re-usable menstrual cups, such as the Mooncup, are better for the environment, pose fewer health risks and are cheaper for their users in the long run than tampons and pads.” It went on to note that JCR members might be put off from buying them due to their initial high fixed-cost, and that, “Subsidising the cost of menstrual cups would be a sustainable way for the JCR to support its female members and encourage members to consider the environmental consequences of other sanitary products.”

Ayla Ansari, who proposed the motion, said, “I proposed the motion in order to get people

using Mooncups because I know that many people haven’t heard of them or might think they’re just a bit gross and excessively hippy but this really isn’t true.

They’re far, far more environmentally friendly – the average woman uses 11,000 pads or tampons in her lifetime which all go to landfill or are incinerated. One menstrual cup, on the other hand, can last for 10 years.”

She added, “Talking about menstruation shouldn’t be considered a social taboo, especially when at the same time women are expected to shell out money every month which does add up and there is no equivalent necessary expenditure for men which women do not buy.”

Kate Guariento, a member of the Hertford Feminists group, seconded the motion, and she explained why she had chosen to do so.

She told Cherwell, “I decided to second the Mooncup motion because I think that more

women should be encouraged to opt for sanitary products that are less harmful not only to the environment, but also to their bodies.

We hoped that a JCR subsidy would encourage people who might otherwise be put off by the expensive upfront cost - about £20, though it’s far cheaper in the long run!”

However, the motion was not passed without controversy. Having originally requested full subsidy for any Mooncups bought within the JCR, it was eventually passed in an amended form which stated that members would be subsidised half the cost of any Mooncups bought, with an annual cap of £500 on JCR money spent on Mooncups.

Arguments raised against the motion included the point that if Mooncups were such good value for money, they should not have to be subsidised. Another concern was that JCR members may purchase Mooncups to try them out, then stop using them, thus wasting JCR money.

However, Josh Platt, Hertford JCR President, was pleased that the motion eventually passed.

He said, “The motion to subsidise Mooncups was brought forward as a way for the JCR to show it support towards our female members and towards the environment.

“Originally, the proposers of the motion asked for a full reimbursement, but after a healthy debate in our meeting, everyone was agreed that a 50% subsidy, capped at a total cost of £500 for the year, was the fairest way to settle things. I’m glad that the JCR is now able to help women with the costs of purchasing a Mooncup and I am sure that the cap of £500 will not stop anyone who wants to take up this offer from doing so. I know that other JCRs have already passed motions to a similar effect, and I hope that many more will continue to champion green policies in any way that they see fit.”

The Mooncup, a silicone menstrual cup which can be used as an alternative to tampons and sanitary towels, is reusable and retails at between £15 to £20.

30.05.14 | Cherwell

News | 5

OXCSSA’s electoral controversy emerges Vast majority of OXCSSA members unable to vote for Committee Continued from p. 1...

Such a state of affairs would be a potential violation of the Proctors’ rules on society affiliation, according to the pro-forma constitution for non-sport societies.

A University spokesperson confirmed, “Clubs registered with the Proctors are required to follow the rules laid out in the constitution.

“The Proctors’ Office is happy to advise individual clubs on specific issues as necessary and to listen to feedback on the constitution. A review of the general oversight of clubs has been agreed and will commence shortly”.

The English language version of the OXCSSA constitution, which is understood to have been submitted to the Proctors’ Office in 2011, uses the template constitution for non-sport societies specified by the University website. In the English language version, all members of the society are eligible to vote, and are entitled to be informed of the Annual General Meeting at least two weeks in advance.

The Chinese version of the constitution allows the President to appoint all the secretaries and the Treasurer, who in turn are allowed to vote in the society’s Presidential elections. In the University-approved English language version, Committee members are supposed to be

elected at the AGM. The Chinese language constitution also stipulates that the President of OXCSSA instead interviews candidates for positions on the Committee, which approximately eighty to ninety members sit on. Only members of the Committee are permitted to vote for the President.

The whistleblower told Cherwell, “According to the Chinese version of the constitution, Secretary and Treasurer are solely appointed by the President. This is strictly forbidden in the English version constitution which states that Secretary and Treasurer should be elected from AGM.” They continued, “It is so interesting that even for Chinese people living on a western country’s soil, they are still using China’s model of ‘democracy’, by the way of cheating the University with a ‘western style’ constitution that has never been acted in accordance with.”

This is not the first time that a CSSA has been criticized for a lack of democracy. In 2011, the Cambridge version was disaffiliated from the University after the President decided to continue for a second term without an election.

OXCSSA has been made aware of Cherwell’s investigation, but did not reply to the allegations.

Mental illness worse than smoking

Union harassment talk empty Only one attendee at panel discussion on stalking and harassment Tom Hall News Editor EXPERTS SPEAKING AT a recent panel discussion on stalking and harassment at the Oxford Union were surprised to find only one student in attendance.

The event, held on Tuesday, was due to feature experts on the topic, led by Jennifer Perry, who has worked on e-crime since 2005 and wrote the UK Guidelines on Digital Risks for victims of domestic violence and stalking in 2012.

Among the other speakers was Dr. Emma Short, Director at the Cyberstalking Research Centre, and Harry Fletcher, a Parliamentary campaigner and ex-Assistant General Secretary of NAPO. Alys Key, a student at Somerville who was the only person to attend the event, said in a public Facebook status, “Sadly, due to a lack of attendees (I was the only person there), the event was cancelled at the last minute.

“I managed to chat to the speakers (who were having conciliatory refreshments at the Union’s expense).

“We ended up having an in-depth discussion about the problems facing women today in Oxford and beyond.”

She told Cherwell, “I think that the low attendance was due to a combination of factors.

Firstly, there’s the obvious bad press around the Union at the moment which might have led some people to think it wasn’t really an appropriate space for this discussion.

“Then there was the organisation of the event itself; I only found out about it a couple of days beforehand from a Facebook Event. Only about 20 people had clicked ‘attending’ and looking through the names it was obvious these were all Union committee members.

“There was also the Guild-Union garden party going on at the same time, and use of other

rooms in the building meant the panel discussion was to be held in the TV room – somewhere I’ve never been before and which feels quite out-of-the-way.

“When I actually found the event, I was the only person there and one of the speakers told me that they were going to have to cancel.”

She added, “I don’t think the poor attendance necessarily shows anything about Oxford students’ views on sexual violence, though one does have to wonder how much the poor turnout was due to the Union’s reputation at the moment.”

A spokesperson for the Union told Cherwell, “Due to a lack of uptake, the Union decided to reschedule the event for Michaelmas 2014.

“This was agreed by all parties involved – we remain committed to offering platforms through which we can combat issues of sexual violence, both within the University and beyond.”

This comes in a week where the OUSU Women’s Campaign has urged students wearing sub fusc for exams to wear a white ribbon, pledging, “never to commit, condone, or remain silent about violence against women, and to stand with the survivors of gender violence.”

Fruit for thought: flies think before they act

Mental illnesses may reduce life expectancy more than smoking Research shows fruit flies think before making decisions

Rob Walmsley Deputy Editor A STUDY BY OXFORD UNIVERSITY psychiatrists has demonstrated that some mental illnesses can reduce life expectancy more than heavy smoking. Researchers have found that serious mental illnesses reduce life expectancy by 10 to 20 years. This is approximately greater, or equal to, the number of years of life lost if a person is a heavy smoker.

The psychiatrists who conducted the study say that it demonstrates that mental health should be considered a public health priority.

It is estimated that one in four people in the UK experience some kind of mental health problem during the course of a year. In comparison, around 21% of British men and 19% women smoke cigarettes.

The study, published in the journal of World Psychiatry was conducted by reviewing the most systematic clinical studies on the mortality risk for a range of mental illnesses. Twenty review papers, with information about over 1.7 million individuals and over 250,000 deaths were used. Each illness studied showed an in-

creased mortality risk, although the extent of this rise varied greatly. It was found that the average reduction in life expectancy in people with bipolar disorder is between nine and 20 years, while it is 10 to 20 years for schizophrenia, between nine and 24 years for drug and alcohol abuse, and around seven to 11 years for recurrent depression.

Dr Seena Fazel of the Department of Psychiatry at Oxford University commented, “Many causes of mental health problems also have physical consequences, and mental illness worsens the prognosis of a range of physical illnesses, especially heart disease, diabetes and cancer. Unfortunately, people with serious mental illnesses may not access healthcare effectively.”

Fazel believes that the reduction in life expectancy associated with mental illnesses can be reduced. “All of this can be changed. There are effective drug and psychological treatments for mental health problems.”

Tom Posa, first year at Balliol said, “This study just confirms something everyone involved in college welfare already knows: that mental health issues can pose a massive threat to those they affect.”

Dorothy Finan News Reporter FRUIT FLIES THINK BEFORE they make decisions, according to Oxford neuroscientists.

The researchers, working at the universitybased Centre for Neural Circuits and Behaviour, trained the flies to avoid one out of two concentrations of an odour placed at either end of a small chamber. The flies then had to decide which end that was.

According to the research, published in the journal Science, when the difference in the two odours was smaller, the flies made up for this by “gathering information for longer”.

Lead author of the study, Dr. Shamik DasGupta, told Cherwell, “The time for flies to make a decision to choose an odour depends on the difficulty of the task.” These times varied from 1.5 seconds for the easier tasks and up to 3 seconds for the more difficult ones. He also explained that they, “walk inside the chamber as the chambers are too small to allow flying”.

Moreover, the researchers discovered that fruit flies with a mutation in a gene called FoxP had reduced “speed and accuracy” in making

decisions. It effectively slowed down how long it took the flies to reach a state where they were ready to make a decision. Significantly, said Dr. DasGupta, “Some mutations in human FoxP homologues results in cognitive defects”, suggesting that the research could provide insight into the human brain.

According to Dr. DasGupta, “Some mechanistic aspects of decision making are possibly conserved between flies and humans”. Additionally, the same model used by the neuroscientists to map how fruit flies make decisions, “Has successfully been used to explain human decision making.”

Cherwell

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COMMENT Men can’t keep thinking of women as rewards Rachel Jones Contributor

T

he recent tragedy where college student Elliot Rodger went on a shooting spree at the University of California, leaving seven people dead including himself, has caused a media storm.

We can’t know exactly why he did it, but this incident has drawn attention to cultural problems far beyond this man’s misogynistic personal opinions.

According to his family, he was on the autism spectrum; he is being armchair-diagnosed with all kinds of mental disorders; for many commentators, this illness has served to mitigate his women-hating blog posts and videos. However, as valid as noting his mental health may be, this case cannot be simply dismissed as an instance of where a ‘lunatic’ lost control.

Rodger may have been in a mental state where he was more receptive to extreme attitudes already present in society, and maybe mental illness fuelled his irrational thinking.

There is an argument that he should have received better treatment and not been allowed a gun. Pointedly though, this is not the end of the debate, and we must consider the root cause of the opinions which drove the man to mass-murder.

Elliot Rodger was an individual with an inflated sense of entitlement, extreme views, and a strong violent streak. This first aspect has raised a lot of discussion, because a sense of entitlement to female attention, and the idea that there are, or should be, failsafe ways to get it, is common. He used to post on PUAHate, an online forum which rails against pick-up artists – those who discuss, or even

Cherwell on the go

make a living from, surefire ways of seducing women. On a forum, aimed at those ‘PUAs’, I was immediately shown an advert offering me ten ‘FREE’ videos, including ‘How To Approach Any Woman With Zero Chance Of Rejection... This Works EVERY Time!’ and the unsettlingly titled ‘The Secret To Developing Emotional Addiction In Women (That Makes Them Loyal And Obedient)’. In light of this misogyny, PUAHate doesn’t seem such a bad idea – sadly though, members of this forum didn’t seem against the concept, just disillusioned by the failure of its techniques, viciously critical of each other, and overwhelmingly misogynistic. The issue for these self-titled ‘incels’ (involuntary celibates) is injustice; they believe that they should be entitled to sex, and that women are breaking some unsaid promise by not giving it to them.

This attitude can be traced back to our cultural tropes; we are all taught that a good heterosexual man is entitled to a

Yes

woman. There are countless films, books, sitcoms, and more, where the hero saves the world, or just does good, and then by default gets the girl – she’s a prize awarded by the justice of the universe. Men are told, through media like this, that they are the active ones, and that if they are successful people, or follow certain measurable steps, they can have sex with a desirable woman. This illusion of control has the potential to cause frustrations and become very dangerous, especially when the illusion falls apart.

On a similar note, I have often heard men complain about the ‘hoops’ that they have to jump through in order to get female attention: Buy them a drink; make the first move; spend money on them. It’s ludicrous that there are culturally expected hoops to jump through, yes. What is just as ludicrous though, is the assumption that once you have jumped through these ridiculous hoops, you will then get female attention, and that if you don’t, the women are at fault. (“You did what you were meant to.”) It is the hoops that are wrong in this paradigm.

That being said, the hoops have some appeal.

We all want a set of

rules to follow to gain rewards. The problem is that a woman is not a reward. A woman is not a concept you can deserve. A woman is an individual. Every single human being is.

We all have our own desires, our own personalities, and make our own decisions, none of which anyone else can or deserves to control, no matter how many hoops they jump through.

The very concept of ‘Pick-Up Artists’ suggests that women are a homogenous, predictable mass. This lie also underpins countless films, books, TV programmes, articles, pieces of advice. (Not all of which are aimed at men.)

This lie is ridiculous, so why is it so prevalent?

Perhaps because it’s easier to blame a single, bitchy mass for your rejection than to analyse the motives of an individual, or to accept that maybe you’re not such a nice character after all. Perhaps because it’s easier to feel angry and entitled than be afraid that there is no effective system and you’re not in control.

There are those who feel entitled to sex just by being a ‘nice guy’, because apparently kindness is not the default way to treat someone. Comments on his videos include “well girls, keep that in mind the next time you friend-zone somebody!” and “I don’t blame guns, I blame blondes for this one.” I’d like to think they’re joking.

Be it in Internet forums or everyday gossip, abusive tweets or pop songs, there are echoes of this sense of entitlement all around us. No, not all men have malicious, extreme views that lead to violence. It takes more than entitlement to actually shoot someone. But this sense of entitlement in itself is something we are all taught to believe, and it should be discussed and refuted more openly.

This idea that ‘nice guys’, or those who follow all of our culture’s horrendous ‘prescribed steps’, are entitled to sexual attention from those they desire, needs to end, or people will continue to get hurt.

Is Oxfords collegiate system

Tom Carter and April Peake discuss whether the college syste

App available for iPhone and Android

Tom Carter Deputy Comment Editor

T

rinity! What a college. Enviable green lawns, beautiful buildings (for the most part) and (again for the most part) great people. What’s not to like? Indeed, from as early on as open days, we are peddled the myth that it doesn’t matter what college we get into, because as soon as we get there, we will love it and think that it is the best college, like, ever. In the scary world of big, bad Oxford, there is a lot to be said for colleges. They provide students with a much smaller and more manageable setting, enabling us to meet a whole range of peers from all academic disciplines and walks of life.

They give all students a support structure, both academic and pastoral, unlike students at other universities who sometimes feel stranded, and they give students a part of the university with which they can positively identify and belong. In short, they give students a home.

Sounds great, right? Not so fast.

Much of what colleges supposedly achieve can be achieved without colleges and they are, in reality, a drawback of Oxford. Firstly, halls play very similar functions to colleges in the first years of many other universities. People make friends with people just as much because they live near them as because they are in the same college as them.

This is borne out by the ridiculous extent to which staircase loyalty dominates colleges for at least the first part of the first year. Thus, the illusion that only colleges can help students make friends is patently untrue. Moreover, colleges could be seen as severely limiting your potential friendship group, as it is much harder to make friends outside college in Oxford than it is to make them outside halls in other universities.

Take Trinity for example. Here there are 86 freshers. Take away the scientists, the sporting meatheads and the recluses and I barely have 20 people who I could possibly be friends with. Whist this is a massive generalisation – it does illustrate the restrictions one finds when making friends within college,

especially when juxtaposed against the thousands of interesting people in the University as a whole.

What about the other claims for collegiate superiority? Take the idea that colleges provide a good support structure: a college is not required for this.

One could just as easily have faculty appointed academic and personal tutors whilst student peer support could be provided on a halls level. Indeed, the college system can be actively damaging to your academic stress levels. For competition between colleges, especially over their ranking on the godawful Norrington Table, can lead to colleges piling undue pressure on students to produce the academic goods.

Merton, at least traditionally, illustrates this tendency perfectly.

There are plenty of other arguments for colleges being detrimental, such as the confused direction they set by adopting agendas distinct and different from that of the university as a whole, but space does not permit me to elucidate upon them. Colleges should carry some sort of health warning: not only do they hinder your social life but potentially your academic life as well.

Comment | 7

30.05.14 | Cherwell

Cherwell

editor@cherwell.org 7, St Aldates OX1 3BS @Cherwell_Online

Letters to the editors

Since 1920

Top 40

White Ribbons

Democracy

Feeling left out

This week, Cherwell sports a white ribbon on its front page. These plain pieces of cloth have been distributed across Oxford by the Women’s Campaign, and this editor supports their campaign wholeheartedly.

All those wearing the ribbons support the statement, “Wearing this white ribbon, I pledge never to commit, condone, or remain silent about violence against women. The damage that gender-based violence can do should never be underestimated yet frequently is.”

A Cherwell investigation into sexual harassment in Oxford conducted last Michaelmas found that only 11% of respondents “Felt able to report the incident” to college. The impact of such a strong show of support towards victims of sexual harassment through a seemingly insignificant gesture must not be underestimated.

The enthusiasm with which students sitting their exams this week have endorsed the campaign by pinning ribbons to their subfusc, serves as a potent reminder that a large portion of the Oxford student body take this issue very seriously.

In light of recent events in Oxford political life, the campaign could hardly be more relevant.

In a week in which the Daily Mail has slammed Oxford finalists – ‘Oxford’s elite celebrate the end of exams by swigging bottles of champagne’ – whilst they flowed out of Exams Schools clutching Tesco Value bottles of Cava after months of gruelling hard work, the white ribbon campaign shows that a large proportion of Oxford students do not fit the mould that tabloid journalists are so keen to insist upon.

If Oxford weeks had themes, this week’s would certainly be ‘democracy’. Between the council elections, the European elections, the NUS referendum and the escapade in the Union on Thursday night (where members were asked to vote on whether the no confidence motion in Ben Sullivan should be voted on), Oxford students have been given several chances to have their voices heard.

However, whilst the national elections passed relatively smoothly in terms of electoral procedure, the democratic process in Oxford has come under severe scrutiny. It was with sadness that this editor heard the news that the NUS referendum votes had been tampered with, as 1,000 fake votes were cast from the same IP address, and it was with sadness that this editor heard the allegations of undemocratic procedures in Oxford’s Chinese Society. Whilst the majority of Oxford students are generally decent people, it is the unscrupulous minority that seems to have risen to the fore this week. Yet it has also been heartening to see the way in which the situations have been rectified. Jack Matthews should certainly be praised for the integrity he displayed in bringing the electoral wrongdoing to light, in spite of his campaigning for the original outcome. The episode in the Union also ensured that the majority triumphed. Oxford systems are not perfect by any means, but this week has shown a true belief in democracy come forth. It has shown that there is a genuine desire for reform and a progressive attitude to democracy in this University.

Adam Dayan asked to join ‘Cherwell Staff HT14’. “I once got 10/10 in a Year 5 creative writing homework - you make me Lifestyle Editor or I walk.”

Brilliant top 40. Managed to be better than ours without libelling anyone.

Tom Beardsworth Brasenose College

Facebook Profile worthy Hacked and confused Am I a hack? Do I get to be in Cherwell with inaccurate information & a bad picture?

OxPPE, via Twitter

Given the recent trend in student journalism recently to write up interesting talks as ‘exclusive interview’, I attach my own unique encounter with Abraham Lincoln. Look out for the cover photo which I will upload shortly.

Favours

Nicholas Mutch Christ Church

Look at the Cherwell top 40 list and you’ll see its all one clique of people who know each other. I could count on my hand the number of people who were simply there because they slept with one of the editors or did them a favour.

I know we’re all thinking this – the OxStu seem to get loads more than we do. Bring on the wall of shame fame!

Disgruntled Prolat

Anonymous staff member

Tweet of the Week

Getting Some

m needless and outdated? No

em is advantageous to students or a needless relic of the past April Peake Contributor

I

t isn’t hard to imagine life at a university without the collegiate system. Flats aren’t that different from corridors or staircases and individual campuses are sort of like the colleges themselves. I’ve seen my friends at other universities nip downstairs to beg for help on their assignments, bang on their neighbours’ doors to announce pre-drinks, and get told off for staggering back to their rooms too noisily after a night out.

Imagining Oxford as a non-collegiate university, however, is impossible – and not simply because wherever you are in town you’re guaranteed to be at most a stone’s throw away from a college.

The collegiate system is the backbone of Oxbridge’s academic system too, providing the framework for the tutorial system. Tutorials are renowned for providing opportunities for students to discuss, argue and develop their own ideas under expert

supervision and receive individual feedback on their work. Your tutors know you, your interests, and your writing style and can monitor your development minutely.

Tutorials and classes are of intrinsic academic value – and humanities students in particular would lose out if the format of their course changed to lectures and seminars. Writing down someone else’s thoughts in a lecture is certainly not as beneficial as receiving personally tailored support.

But while significant, the academic structure isn’t the sole or even the most important benefit of the collegiate system. Studying at Oxford can undoubtedly be an extremely stressful experience. But the collegiate system will support you every step of the way.

Being part of a college helps offset the natural ‘small fish, big pond’ fears that most freshers harbour when they first arrive at university.

The work becomes less scary when you consider that you’ll be working with tutors who have hand selected you, deciding they want to work with

you for the next however many years.

Instantly you become one of the five ‘chosen ones’, or one of twelve, rather than one of 3,198.

Entering a college, you become part of a ready-made community. You know that if you’re unsure of something your college mother is just in the next building, that if you have a problem with work, you can get help from the other people on your course that live across the corridor. The college system is a wonderful network for students, particularly if the centrally offered support isn’t right for you.

If you need to talk you have your college friends, parents, welfare reps, peer advisors, chaplain, nurse, subject tutors, personal tutor and senior tutor on site, ready to help you. These people are all there for you to reach out to, and to look out for you in times when you feel you can’t reach out, offering a range of support from social to academic. The collegiate system is one of the great strengths of Oxford – it may be old fashioned insofar as it is traditional but that by no means makes it out-dated.

RIGHT OF

REPLY If you would like to respond to any of the features in this week's edition, contact the Comment section at comment@ cherwell.org

Cherwell | 30.05.14

8 | Comment

Xin Fan talks to the last Liberal OXSTEW Democrat MEP Catherine Bearder THE

Oxford votes to disaffiliate from the real world

O

xford students have voted overwhelmingly to disaffiliate from reality, with over 62% indicating a preference for ‘living in a bubble’ against the alternative option of ‘engaging with the real world and recognising that we are not that special’. Turnout was low, with many favouring to disengage from the question over whether they ought to engage with anything at all.

The leader of the campaign for disaffiliation, ‘Esse est percipi’, was James Berkeley, who remarked, “In essence, this vote marks no real change. Frankly, Oxford students have been disengaged from the real world for centuries, and all we have achieved today is the successful formalisation of that state of affairs. Nevertheless, it was absolutely right to do so. Otherwise, we might have had to get rid of Sub-Fusc. That would have been absurd.”

Berkeley’s counterpart and leader of the campaign to stay affiliated, Poppy Welt, gave the following statement. “The decision to disaffiliate is a classic case of Oxbridge arrogance.

While I respect the right of any Oxford student to focus their attention on the later works of Catullus, hitting Thursday Bridge, and the occasional Cuppers hockey match, I do think that we ought to bear in mind that occasionally there are events outside the confines of OX1: And I do not simply mean recruitment events for Barclays.”

As a result of the vote to disaffiliate, Oxford students will no longer be required to give the slightest impression that they care about social justice or international affairs. Whilst organisers at student-run charity Jacari are concerned about the result of the referendum, senior figures at the Union have privately stated that they believe the decision could be a boon for their membership drive.

The real world seemed decidedly nonplussed by the decision to disaffiliate. Bob McLaughlin, a retired bank clerk from Doncaster, said, “Disaffiliate? Sounds awful. I hope they know what they’re doing. Up to them I suppose, but don’t think it’d be my cup of tea.” Crowds of African children celebrated the decision, however, relieved that they would no longer have to pose for photos with men in baseball caps standing next to poorly-built schools.

Many Oxford students seemed to endorse the result of the referendum. Victoria Waugh, a third year English student at LMH, said, “I think this is absolutely the right result. What has the real world ever done for me? It leaves us alone, and we don’t bother it. Well, not often anyway.

I once had to go the John Radcliffe in Freshers’ Week, but beyond that, it’s pretty irrelevant isn’t it?”

Some went further, with Teddy Hall psychology student Hazza Johnston-Pratt remarking “Reality has been completely out of touch for some time now.

“Last year, I applied for a job, and I had to do four rounds of interviews. That’s just taking the mickey. Hopefully disaffiliation will be the wake-up call that the real world needs”.

Widespread irregularities in the voting process have been alleged, with some members of OUCA telling friends that they had voted ‘no’ over 37 times. The allegations are expected to be thoroughly investigated, with OUSU having halved its welfare budget as a result of the referendum, freeing up funds for more enquiries into student politics.

Joseph Chatslinger

Xin Fan Contributor

O

n Sunday evening, Catherine Bearder had a near-death experience. Well, figuratively speaking. This past Sunday, her party, the Liberal Democrats, were decimated during the European election results. Last week, they had 11 MEPs; this week, just the one: her. Decimated, almost, in the true Roman military sense.

It was the first thing David Dimbleby commented on after the results for South East England came in. “Just worth noting – that’s the first Liberal Democrat seat held,” he said on the BBC’s late night marathon. “It’s very close,” remarked the relevant expert beside him. “They just crept in there with around 187,000 votes. If

“

European elections do matter. We’re now left with UKIP MEPs who wont turn up to do the work. they’d got 180,000 they wouldn’t have got it.”

Decimation was a punishment dished out to Roman legions who broke ranks during battle.

Some of the charges thrown at Bearder echo with comparable condemnation. You’ve broken ranks with the electorate, haven’t you?

She vigorously denies this, “The latest poll I saw said 65% of the British public want to stay in the European Union. Less than 40% of the population voted at the election.

“The more worrying thing is why 60% of people didn’t vote. That is very serious in any democracy. People are so disconnected, they didn’t feel it was worth ten minutes of their time walking down to the polling station.

“We knew we were in for a tough fight, but I didn’t think we were going to be hit as badly as we have been.”

Sceptics might hear complacency in these words. Martin Tod, a fellow high-ranking member of the party – and on the Federal Executive Committee that runs it – thinks this is a real risk to the Liberal Democrats’ health. Live on the BBC’s programme, he dressed down Lib Dem Treasury Secretary Danny Alexander, leaving the senior minister nonplussed. “I’m really concerned… with the current strategy,” Tod rebuked. Something had to give. He implied ditching Nick Clegg, since having a national punchbag as party leader is no fun when you’re the one keeping it steady.

“I don’t agree with Martin on removing Clegg,” said Bearder.

“We are a democratic party; we can ask for that if he gets enough support. If so, then we

can move forward on that. But I’m confident he won’t find that support.

“We should be concentrating on our message, what we stand for, and delivering it to the electorate in most effective way. We failed in the election; we have to do better next time because we have MPs to defend.”

A resolute rallying cry. But it’s easier to make war plans than go over the top. And if the apparatchiks don’t give Clegg the boot, the public might come for him in 2015. A leaked ICM poll commissioned by his own party supporters put the Liberal Democrats on 15% in Clegg’s Sheffield constituency, behind both Labour (20%) and the Conservatives (16%).

What of the new disrupters in European politics, UKIP, and their Wat Tyler, Nigel Farage? One thing’s patent: Bearder can’t stand him. Farage has a democratic right to be there, she concedes, but “I find some of the things he says eyewateringly embarrassing for the UK. He uses [the European Parliament] as a platform for his own self-promotion.

“There is a feeling afoot that the European elections don’t matter, and you can give the government of the day a good kicking. Unfortunately, it does matter, because we’re now left with UKIP MEPs who won’t turn up to do the work.”

Out rolls an unflattering list of blasé UKIP callousness. “In the last Parliament we had a report calling for member states to increase sentencing and police cooperation on human

trafficking – they voted against that. We had a report castigating Russia for homophobia – they voted against that. New rules that guarantee British victims of crime when visiting other visiting European countries – they voted against that. Their policy of voting against everything on principle damages British citizens.”

Bearder holds out hope, however, describing UKIP as just an overrated blip. It’s “scaremongering”, she asserts, citing the absence of emigration figures as part of why it’s been so difficult to fight that argument. Alas, though, her

“

At least I won’t have any delegation meetings to go to. I just have to meet with myself! allusion to voter apathy in 1930s Germany as the alternative, look-what-happens-if-you-don’t scenario was a rather ironic riposte.

UKIP’s vote will “collapse” at next year’s general election, she insisted. “The academics, and history, tell us that people will swing back after a European election.” History is also cruel, especially to junior coalition partners. Only last year, at Germany’s general election, the Liberals (FDP) were totally eliminated after a one-term love-in with Angela Merkel’s conservative Christian Democrats (CDU). Comfort in theory and the past alone is a leap of faith. Bearder seems well aware of this.

“We need to say, ‘If you feel there’s too many people, is that because you haven’t got enough housing, jobs, or skills the newcomers have?’ We need to counteract xenophobic arguments with the truth, and address those problems.

For students, I will be standing up for Erasmus, postgraduate and research funding as well.”

The Lib Dem ticket will be a tough sell to a tough crowd, and Bearder knows her life has just got harder. “I’m moving now into a 30 hour day,” she jokes. ‘Pack up your troubles in your old kit bag’, sang British soldiers as they set off for the Continent. The Lib Dem’s last trooper, too, keeps her chin up.

“At least I won’t have delegation meetings to go to – I just have to meet with myself!”

30.05.14 | Cherwell

Comment | 9

Britain should look past the EU to the wider world Nick Mutch Comment Editor

N

ick Clegg was in Oxford last week, and I got to ask him a question shortly before his party’s drubbing in the European elections. I asked why the Liberal Democrats pretend to be the party of openness that embraces the world when Britain’s membership of the EU mandates that access to British trade, access to British universities, and immigration into Britain must preference EU citizens over those from Asia, Africa, the Americas, or former Commonwealth countries.

His answer was pat, it was stupid, and it was ahistorical. The only answer he gave as to why this arrangement was fair was the simple ties of geography. “It is simply the geographical closeness,” he told me. Apparently, “the proximity of EU nations creates certain feelings and different entitlements which those from other hemispheres simply don’t share”. Earlier in the speech, he gave an outline of European history where he pointed out Britian’s long historical ties with Europe, including the fact that the Lutheran Reformation affected the English, the French Enlightenment influenced the Scottish Reformation, and that Nigel Farage’s family were 16th century European immigrants.

According to Clegg, this sharing of cultural and intellectual values means that the European Union is a “natural culmination of European history”.

There was no mention in his speech of the fact that Europe has the darkest history of any continent in the world, one that is rife with destruction and war. No mention of the fact that, for better and for worse, the greatest influence and interaction Britain has had on the world was through the Empire and Commonwealth, which gave so many countries representative government, rule of law, and the English language, albeit at the bitter cost of colonial exploitation.

As a New Zealander, I had family who fought

in Britain’s wars, specifically the First World War, which currently has us embroiled in a national commemoration debate, and strongly resent that Nick Clegg somehow thinks the ties of geography are thicker than language, blood, history and shared sacrifice.

It is not just historical ties that are cast asunder for the purposes of European federalism.

The EU inhibits Britain’s ability to open itself to the best talent not only from the former Commonwealth, with whom it shares so much, but from the wider and developing world, from which it has so much to learn. For those unaware, the current British immigration system makes it nigh impossible for highly skilled workers from abroad to immigrate to the United Kingdom. Because of EU law, a British employer hiring a non-EU person must sign a declaration stating that there is no EU appli-

cant who is possibly qualified to do the job. An international student at a British university will not only pay double the fees of an EU student, but will also be ineligible for any kind of student loan. Once they finish their studies, they are mandated to leave the country within four months.

This idea that the EU is somehow a bastion of free movement and democracy is completely fallacious. The EU itself is designed as being an insular institution where you will be welcomed or shunned based on what side of the Bosporus you were born on. And yet we Eurosceptics are the ones accused of being xenophobic and prejudiced!

I believe that UKIP’s success and the Liberal Democrats’ failure represent a profound disillusionment at the political situation in Europe.

UKIP succeeded because, despite not having a

manifesto and being full of xenophobes, bigots and homophobes, they were fundamentally able to tap into this strain of public discontent in a way that no other party could approach.

Despite all of their poor press, UKIP is fundamentally seen as a single issue party, and it is a single issue that resonates with many. In fact, it is currently considered that Euroscepticism is a casus belli of far-right bigots. If you don’t support the EU, critics claim, you’re the kind of person not who has intelligently thought through the issues of national sovereignty and federalism, but who doesn’t want a Romanian for a neighbour.

Clegg went so far as to point out a supposed link between homophobia and Euroscepticism, saying that both harken back to being “fundamentally uncomfortable with the modern world, and seeking to return to a little England mentality”. This is extremely offensive - so why do we let it be passed off as recieved wisdom?

Nick Clegg and Ed Miliband, for all they are lambasted, currently speak as the public face for the British “tolerant progressives” on Europe.

This is a disgrace. The modern Left needs to stand up for itself, and say that the EU’s unaccountable bureaucracy, arbitrary discrimination against non-EU citizens, and commitment to a neoliberal economic consensus is not what the Left should stand for UKIP founder Alan Sked, who has since become deeply disillusioned with the racism and illiberalism with which the party is now associated, has come out saying that we need a new movement on the Left that rejects the EU for the farcical institution that it is. He is completely correct.

The left-wing position on the EU should emphasise that by wanting to leave the sinking ship of the Union, we are not trying to close ourselves off from the world: we are trying to open ourselves to a world that is much wider.

The most important emerging markets such as China, India or Brazil are outside the EU. The countries with which Britain shares the most with are outside the EU. The EU is an outdated and unnecessary institution which those on the left need to renounce.

The Campaign Paddy Stockwell, Director of OxMak

OxMak and promoting social action with Makamere

O

xMak is a thriving social action partnership serving to create meaningful partnerships across two continents.

Enthusiastic Oxford students are connected with like-minded socially-conscious students at Makerere University, Uganda’s most prestigious higher education institution, to work on social action projects together throughout the year. These projects are submitted and devised

by Makerere students, at which point they are connected with teams of Oxford students who work together with the Ugandans providing

“

Cross-continental friendships are at the heart of OxMak valuable research, planning and analytical skills to incubate these start-ups into the im-

plementation stage and beyond.

The ultimate goal of OxMak is to create a global community of students engaged in effective social action. At the heart of this lies the emphasis we place on creating and encouraging friendships between our participants. Relationships are created as project teams Skype regularly, as well as monthly co-ordinated Skypes to create a forum for students and local social activists alike on both continents to share ideas, ambitions and advice. The projects culminate with the summer trip, where Oxford students travel to Kampala for three weeks to meet up with their Ugandan counterparts, check out the progress made on the many Oxmak projects, meet various stakeholders at Makerere University, and ultimately immerse themselves in Freshers’ Week Ugandan-style!

OxMak was originally set up in 2011 as a specific New College enterprise to invite Makamere students to Oxford each February to attend the Oxford Forum for International Development (OxFID). Students engage with student life around Oxford, meeting various student groups, and sampling Camera and the Cheese Floor (surprisingly popular…).

This ideal of cross-continental friendships is at the heart of OxMak to this day. We rolled out

University-wide in September 2013, introducing the project teams element, and have gone

“

The inaugural conference attracted over 500 attendees from strength to strength ever since. The inaugural OxMak conference in Kampala attracted over 500 attendees, and our first summer trip in September 2013 drew 350 students to the launch day to help clean Katanga slum, as well as four separate appearances in the Ugandan national newspapers (although it’s not quite Cherwell, obviously…).

In our first year of collaborative projects, we have achieved some remarkable success, and tackled a wide range of social action problems.

To name but a few, we have together developed

a pilot machine for converting household rubbish found in the slums into briquettes for cheap energy and fuel; secured a sizeable plot of land and planted 1000 seedlings with a view to creating a sustainable education centre in a country which has destroyed 30% of the forest it boasted in 1990; worked with the Ugandan teachers to design a curriculum with a view to implementing a wide-scale mentoring programme to help the 39% of 16-17-year-olds who are still in primary education in Uganda.

All this has been done through the fantastic partnerships and friendships formed between Ugandan and Oxford students and their shared desires to tackle real world social problems, and this will undoubtedly continue as new projects are solicited next Michaelmas to supplement the ones we currently run.

OxMak will only continue to grow. We receive fantastic support from various departments around the University enabling us to maintain a full time office at Makemere, and are full of incredibly talented, passionate and committed people dedicated to tackling social action in a hands-on, sustainable and ultimately, sociable way. If you would like to get involved in any capacity, contact Paddy at director@oxmak.com or find us on Facebook.

PUZZLES

DEFINE: ‘montero’

TRIVIUM The saying ‘on cloud 9’, which describes a state of blissful happiness or euphoria, is believed to originate from the first edition of the Internation Cloud Atlas, published in 1896. This provided a categorisation of clouds in which the cumulonimbus (the highest of the clouds) was cloud 9!

CONNECTIONS

Which of these is the correct definition of this word?

Spot the connection:

1. A hunter’s cap in 18th century Spain 2. A philandering rakish type 3. An Argentinian marshland

1. Franz Schubert 2. Napoleon I 3. Christopher Columbus

CRYPTIC CROSSWORD Across 1. Comic with no love eats a sly cat. Disastrous?

Disastrous! (11) 6. Frantic onslaught hides figure (4) 7. Time that is right to have a row (4) 9. Desire money (3) 10. Inspiring words amid a rave, eh? Possibly. (1,4,1,5) 12. Thus, the leader of Byzantium gave a wail (3) 13. Be the queen and it’ll get you a drink (4) 15. Follow German time (4) 16. Plug and pummel the barrel (4,3,4) Down 1. Conduct a 3/8 habanera, but talk not to this man of blasphemy (7,4) 2. Time that is about right to get weary (4) 3. “Queen of Scots!” wrote Shakespeare madly? Betcha don’t read this in the right way! (4,7) 4. Scampers up the wheel (4) 5. Contrary to ancients’ ideology, this ideology believes the customer is always right (11) 8. Speed up the giver of a sermon (3) 11. Steal hem-less gown (3) 12. Quick information (4) 14. Veer off in perpetuity (4) Email Aneesh Naik at puzzles@cherwell.org for clues or solutions

SUDOKU Difficulty: Medium

PROFILE

“

Each of us needs to have some element of our background represented “[It is] one of the things I’ve been campaigning about. After the enquiry, one of the things I wanted was about the history. When I challenged the fact that they hadn’t put that within [the reforms] and spoke to the schools minister, it was that [there’s] not enough people. You need more people to complain and say, ‘This is what we want.’ But I believe the government should make sure, because if you’re the government of a country, there [are] so many people within the society, and each of us needs to have some element of our background represented – currently that’s not there. The schools are not doing anything about it, so we’re looking to have an educational standard where we begin to challenge some of these things. To make sure that in schools, from primary going up, these

“

Once you get to secondary school the whole thing changes “I’ve come from Paddington station. People were touching me on the arm and saying to me, ‘I think you’ve been doing great work and it’s really nice to see you,’ – and so it’s not just people

wi od Go

at

io

n:

Sa

ge

of col o u r who are doing that – everybody who would meet me was saying that. And so people are out there who feel that they want to do more.”

I wonder though, if in a predominantly white House of Lords, she still feels the same support?

“One of the Baronesses wanted to talk about young Caribbean boys’ exclusion rate in school, and unemployment. So I was asked whether I wanted to say something, which I did, but... Oral questions last about 30, 35 minutes, sometimes probably 40 minutes, so it’s not very long to have a discussion about issues like that. And people come up and say to me, I think we should look to put a debate together, so we can discuss it openly – and that’s not just black people, black Lords that are saying that – there are white Baronesses and Lords saying that we need to have a discussion.

“Also having me there brings more to their attention; that this is a discussion that they need to have and it doesn’t matter what side of the house they sit on. Everybody says to me, ‘I’m really pleased that you’re here, you will make a difference.’

“For me it’s a big thing – I want to make a difference, I want to be able to have a voice that speaks out. Not just to say that I’m speaking about people of colour but for everybody’s sake.

At the end of the day, we live in a society. All of us are here, so there’s no point in me saying, ‘I only want to talk about black issues.’ We have to talk about everyone.” tr

she is at least optimistic about the mix of ethnicities of people who identify and speak out against racism.“When I think about what happened around Stephen’s case and I think about the enquiry and the letters I received from people, they’ll write to me and they felt that they’d need to mention, ‘I’m a white woman of 80 and I’m disgusted about what happened to your son.’ People do want to talk about it – and it’s not just within the black race that they want to talk about it. There’s so many people out there that want to see an equal society, but it’s very difficult to have. And I think the more people talk about it, whether you’re black or white or whatever, you just need to be able to talk openly about it.”

She recalls the support she has found through her campaign, telling of an event earlier in the day when she arrived in Oxford.

us

things are taught.”

“There’s a way of introducing history.

Because within primary school, many times, kids don’t think about whether, ‘That person’s black or white.’ They think about who their friends are. But by the time that they get to secondary school, that changes and they begin to develop that, ‘It’s them and us’ type stuff – and that shouldn’t happen. So we need to start very young, so that by the time they get to secondary school, it doesn’t become a problem, because I think sometimes, that’s where it stems from.

So once you get to secondary school, the whole thing changes – and you’re not seeing your black friends as a friend – you’re seeing them as black first, rather than a friend first. We need to change that.”

I tell her that neither I, nor any of my friends who have been through the state school curriculum and who I have spoken to, were taught about British colonialism or our role in slavery.

When asked whether she was surprised by this, she answered firmly “No – because I think Britain wants to deny their role in slavery.”

She continues by telling me of a discovery within her own family.

“I found out that even within my family, two have Scottish [history]. So you have somebody from the Scots who was a plantation owner, who would have raped one of their slaves.” She stops to explain that, “If you look in Jamaica there is this mixture of the skin colour, and I presume Jamaica’s not the only African-Caribbean country where slaves were raped – and none of those things were acknowledged.

“My grandmother’s name was Donaldson, which is a take on a slave name, which is part Scottish. So I would like to find out exactly where it is that my family originate from, that part of the family, and then to go back to Africa to see where that part starts from. I think we all need to know that, because if you look at the Chinese and even the Indians they can trace their ancestry back so far – I could never do that.”

I put it to the Baroness that it’s a possibility that without proper education, some people will be in danger of believing that we are living in a society where racism is a thing of the past.

“I think a lot of people believe that,” the Baroness acknowledges, “but then, if you’re people of colour, you don’t believe that. Because you face it on a daily basis, you don’t believe that. There are people in society that believe that racism is a thing of the past though. ‘Why do we need to talk about it? Why do we need to address it?

Because we accept everybody – I’ve got a black friend.’ And I suppose they can say, ‘I’ve got a black neighbour.’ – as far as they’re concerned, that’s saying ‘I’m not racist’.”

Baroness Lawrence is adamant that we need to talk about race more – she feels as though there is a lack of open and frank discussion. However,

Ill

D

oreen Lawrence, a Baroness since October 2013, gave a speech at the Oxford Union on the 20th of May. Baroness Lawrence has spent over two decades campaigning for justice and police transparency in the wake of her son’s racially aggravated murder in 1993.

Her efforts led to the eventual conviction of two of her son’s murderers, which marked a huge step forward in British race-relations, and also caused an internal reform of the police service.

She now sits as a Labour peer in the House of Lords whilst promoting racial equality and maintaining the Stephen Lawrence Trust, which she founded in memory of her son.

Baroness Lawrence has previously admitted that she does not consider herself a natural speaker, and her speech is not that of a career politician – it is not created for effect or glory, but out of sheer necessity to see and perpetuate real change within our society. After her speech, I’m able to ask her a few questions about racism in the UK. A topic that the Baroness mentioned in her speech was education. She believes that British students of colour are denied access to education about their history in the current curriculum. When asked whether she thinks this should be changed alongside the current governments other educational reforms, she responds, “It should be.” She answers firmly, before clarifying that she doesn’t believe these requirements are being met in Michael Gove’s plans.

n

Baroness Lawrence talks racism, education and family history with Alice King

LIFE&STYLE John Evelyn

The disappearances started quietly. A finalist here, a finalist there, a mumbled ‘nah, I’m not going out, need to revise’ – and then they were never seen again. They say that, on a dark night when the bats flit across the Radcliffe Square, you can just see their little third-year faces in the library windows, staring yearningly for the world beyond their books. Their cheeks are sunken and their countenances haggard, revision Post-Its stuck to their foreheads and instant coffee granules in their hair.

A select few have emerged, mute with the trauma of their examination experiences, social interaction stilted and difficult after their weeks of incarceration.

One in particular bore physical scars of his experience – his head badly shaven, rope-burn on his arms. His eyes stared off into the middle distance, filled with the Will to survive, but his physical appearance Truly Fitt the occasion of his release from brutal examination.

Meanwhile, Wednesday evening saw the detonation of an ‘Ell-of-a lot of antagonism. We’ve heard reports of the explosion of passions both romantic and murderous, a Richly blended combination of love and hate. First, News from a very Dep-endable source tells of a joyful but illicit coupling for which we have long been rooting – we could practically hear the Hall-ejuah chorus, but who knows what Tom-orrow will hold for the amorous couple in question? But their romance was thwarted by a jealous intervention, reaching its cli-Max in a shocking attempt on the life of a lady. Following that famous Max-im – ‘do under others as you would be done by’ – he cruelly Bumped her into the flow of oncoming traffic. The attacker fled the scene, but police reports describe him as Long-legged, Lycra-clad and smelling terrible.

They say three’s a crowd but the rooms of a certain college proved Ex-cellently accommodating for a select trio on Thursday night. After some Milli-tant manoeuvring and a bit of machiav-Elli-an Boss-iness, one room of a set for two became the perfect place for three. It was a trinity which proved very Anj-oyable for everyone involved – even the student next door was Har-dly Greave-ed.

John Evelyn

Got gossip? Email gossipevelyn@gmail.com with the juicy details!

Cherwell says:

Cringe Clubber

We can detect the sliver of a bra protruding from this clubber’s jacket - you tease... His prudish comapanion, however, seems to disapprove of this bold sartorial choice and tries to slut-shame him in front of the cameras - how dare she?! Completely oblivious to this scene is the smooth operator on the right, who has decided to shield his precious eyes from the glare of the Parkend strobe lights with a pair of aviators and an array of tacky jewellery.

The unlucky photobomber in the back seems to have just realised she might be a bit out of her depth...

Creaming Spires

Shivani Oberoi Regent’s Park, 1st Year PPE

Well done,

When asked at the last-minute by a friend to go on a Cherwell blind date, I was initially skeptical, envisaging a couple of hours of smalltalk, forced laughter, and awkward silences. My skepticism grew into dread when I discovered that Freddie too studied PPE; this date was a recipe for a disaster with the only potential conversation focusing on Mill’s conception of ethics, Friedman’s neo-classical economics, or a comparison of the first and second year PPE course structure.

But alas, how wrong I was. Our mutual awkwardness blossomed into adoration, silences into sexual desires and initial reservations into intense infatuation. The cider flowed, as did the conversation, from exotic travel plans to Oxford experiences to job opportunities to the meaning of true love. And true love it was, for this was a match made in heaven; an instance of conscious coupling to the highest degree.

Thanks to the Cherwell, I will leave Oxford perhaps not with a first or a blue, but, much more importantly, with a story to tell our kids about Freddie and my magical first meeting.

Godlike Mesmerising Of course, we’re nearly engaged!

Frederick Pattisson Queen’s, 2nd Year PPE

Cupid!

As the river of life meanders over the great plains, one cannot help but feel a bit helpless.

What reason had compelled me to go on a blind date? Perhaps it was fate, for unknown to me the Cherwell cupid was stringing his bow.

The light was setting as I was brought to The Turf Tavern early one Wednesday evening.

I passed the famous sign ‘an education in intoxication’ and my eyes were drawn to Shivani.

She was leant on the wall, black hair brilliant against the red brick, the Aphrodite of the alley. Her delightful outfit was surpassed only by her delectable character. A mutual dislike of politics instantly made me feel comfortable, a mutual interest in cricket, charmed, and a love of Park End, infatuated. As evening wore to night the drinks kept coming, the conversation kept flowing, and the seeds of romance were sown.

To think how easily this could have been missed, how easily we could have passed on the street and have never met. Before this night I knew nothing of love, but by the end of the night I knew of nothing else.

Helen of Troy would be jealous Tender Yes, to plan the wedding

Are you tired of being single and alone? Volunteer for a Blind Date at editor@cherwell.org

The only way for me to get through Summer Eights and the inordinate amount of rowing chat that accompanies it is by trying to fill up my boat on fantasy bumps. Sexually, of course. Last year I managed to sleep with someone in every seat – a quest I thoroughly recommend, although trying to find a 3-seat that was acceptable to sleep with was a mammoth task. (see, I can do rowing too! I’m multitalented).

Clearly, I’ve had my fair share of rowers – from beer boat to Blue, and I’ve found that whatever their differences, there’s normally one similarity. There’s always lycra on the fucking floor. Always. Please clean this up, boys – nothing says unsexy like a moulding pile of damp next to the bed.

And that doesn’t mean you can wear it as underwear – I used to sleep with a rower who, for whatever reason, insisted on wearing a unisuit under normal clothes during the day after practice. But Lycra smells, is extremely difficult to remove quickly when you’re feeling frisky, and is plain distracting. Whenever I left in the morning I was always tempted to rip it open with my keys out of spite.

Constant wear will lead you to define yourself by rowing, leaving you devoid of all personality until you simply become that guy who turns up to 9AMs with flashes of the stuff under clothes, constantly smells like a sewer and occasionally drips. And please stop crewdating in it.

If you’re a rower yourself, be careful not to get too sucked into the glamorous world of 2K tests and backsplash damp (and bloody lycra), or before too long you’ll find yourself at your boathouse at 3AM, frantically trying to unlock it to get frisky. I’m sure that sex on a concrete floor, next to a pile of blades whilst smashing your head on a rigger is just a wonderful experience for you both, but I wouldn’t know – my boathouse was locked, so we had sex on a bench on the towpath instead. But somehow, it just didn’t quite hold the same je ne sais quoi.

Please, let Summer Eights be over already so that I can return to my blissful existence of post-6AM walk of shames.

30.05.14 | Cherwell

Life&Style | 13

A year of living internationally: the thoughts of a second-year linguist Erin Goldfinch looks ahead to a year abroad of dubious accommodation, rugby and potential self-discovery

I

’ve done it. With one click, I’ve bought my plane ticket to Germany this summer. In just over a month I’ll be embarking on the first leg of my year abroad, but only now does it really hit me that I’m actually going away.

For the past couple of months I and many of my fellow linguists have been oscillating between a wide range of emotions: giddy excitement, anxiety, sheer panic, denial, to name but a few. By now most of the stress of actually finding a placement has passed, but the even more overwhelming stress of Oh-my-God-howam-I-going-to-survive-abroad-on-my-own-fora-year has begun to kick in.

The impending horror of having to set up the WiFi on my laptop all by myself is almost too much, though this pales in comparison to a friend of mine bound for Paraguay, who has carried out extensive research on the bugs and diseases which could potentially bring her year abroad to a premature (and rather painful) end.

Tales from returning fourth years don’t help to allay the anxiety. One poor guy turned up in Austria with the promise of a spare room which turned out to be little more than the sofa in the front room, whilst many students bound for Paris were ripped off by an online scam renting out apartments which didn’t even exist, leaving them out of pocket and without a roof over their heads.

That being said, there are plenty of stories to fill an outward-bound linguist with anticipation. One French student became a local hero in the tiny French village he was placed in by leading their amateur rugby team to victory.

Just as it is in Oxford, rugby is BIG in France.

Spain, on the other hand is a country of football fans, and, as I learnt from a previous visit, you’d better have an opinion on the Real Madrid/Barcelona rivalry prepared before you go.

The year abroad can also offer plenty of amo-

rous opportunities – one fourth year’s top tip for making the most out of your year abroad?

“Just get a French boyfriend.” (This only really helps if you do French, of course – not much use if you’re studying German or Spanish, though most of us still wouldn’t say no to a Frenchman...) Just make sure you save the account of your experiences of ‘international affairs’ for brief Skype chats with your stressed Finalist friends, unlike one returning linguist, who spent the best part of a formal dinner regaling her tutors with a full

and detailed account of her love life during her year abroad.

Of course, as exciting/ terrifying as going abroad may be, it’s still tinged with sadness at the

thought of leaving Oxford and the people who make it feel like home, many of whom will, rather inconveniently, have graduated by the time I get back. Though they might have jokingly offered to do a Masters/rusticate in order to keep me company, the desolate landscape of fourth year is a grim prospect to return to after the fun and excitement of the year abroad.

A year abroad also means a year ‘out of the loop’, something that can happen even after being out of Oxford for a week. That being said, most of what we’re likely to miss from final year will be thrilling 8 hour stints in the library with the occasional stress-related meltdown to liven the mood.

I did nearly panic, though, when a good friend informed me he was planning to deactivate his Facebook account for most of third year,

(“But how will I keep in contact with you??” Momentarily forgetting that Skype and email also exist...) though the chances of him following through on this threat are admittedly slim. Above all, the thought of not witnessing your closest friends

The Science Column

Y

Sophie Perry

ou think 70 is old? In twenty years time we might consider a 70 year old no different from their 20 year old counterparts, as immortality becomes more than the stuff of legends.

However the immortality bestowed upon humans won’t be entirely cartoon-like - it will certainly still be very difficult to bounce back to life after being squashed by a bus, however we will mirror the likes of Bart Simpson in that our ageing may become undetectable.

Dr Aubrey De Grey, a geneticist from the University of Cambridge has a very radical view on the topic. He stresses that preventing ageing is far more than an idea and details the cellular and molecular processes of ageing which must be repaired. Believe it or not, De Grey believes that the first person to live to 1000 years of age might already be 60. His research has revealed 7 major types of molecular damage of ageing, all of which he says are curable.

De Grey casually mentions that the average life expectancy will be in the range of a few thousand years - very hard to imagine now where 100 years is considered a long and prosperous life! The cause of death after all these thousands of years will not be frailty or illness, but a misjudged dash to the other side of the road. This will mean an end to the years of difficulty that some endure towards the end of their life. All parts of De Grey’s project to stop the ageing process are expected to be working

effectively on mice in under 10 years time.

Examples of age fighting substances are plentiful. Recently a protein found in the blood of young mice, GDF-11 has been shown to restore youthfulness when introduced to mice showing signs of ageing. This protein works by increasing blood flow and oxygen provision and results in elderly mice loosing signs of frailty and age, as shown by their increased stamina, fitness and respiration rate.

Nematode worms have helped scientists to deduce that a higher intake of sugar reduces life expectancy in a number of invertebrates.

Their average age can be gradually increased by being kept perilously close to starving conditions, though this is yet to be proven in vertebrates.

However, this increase in age comes at the cost of reduced fertility. But further research has shown that by adding back different aspects of the diet, only amino acids reduce life expectancy and increase fertility, and of these methionine can increase fertility without reducing life expectancy. Having powerful insight into what aspects of food are important for ageing and fertility means that in the future diets might be tailored to maximise both of these aspects - without the need of being hungry!

This hugely extended life expectancy will have vast effects on the way we live our lives, and there are doubtlessly many ethical issues to be discussed on this topic. But in the meantime, we can think about all the activities we might be able to do now that our life expectancy is projected to increase 10 times over.

“

At least one student must jack in their degree and join a travelling circus rather bleak.

On the plus side, this does give us one more year to delay finals and, by extension, the onset of the ‘real world’. While most of our friends will by then be slogging away at a 9-to-5 graduate job, we get to live the student life in the city of dreaming spires for a little while longer – a rather appealing prospect.

But then again, who knows what we’ll have seen and done during our year away? After living and working abroad independently for a year it must seem strange returning to the confines of university life. I’m pretty sure there must be at least one student every couple of years who, after finding their true calling in foreign climes, decides to jack in their degree and join a traveling circus or something similar... That could even be me.

Though it may be a compulsory part of our degree, it’s often said that the year abroad is a chance to really discover who you are as a person and what you want from life.

Despite the stress and anxiety, Many linguists have this in mind as they embark on their year abroad and hope to return to Oxford in a year a changed person, though in many ways still the same.

Country Diary

Bang!

Make me immortal

finish their exams, get trashed and then get horrifically, hilariously drunk afterwards is

The Kidneys

W

e make our way d own Iffley Road and turn down past the four-minute-mile track into Jackadaw Lane. To the right, before we disappear into the green shrubs, stands a large metal collection centre. Tall metal spikes keep away any potential intruders, and the gates are topped with rolls and rolls of barbed wire. The whole place looks like a forest in itself, with old rusted pieces of metal piled upon each other, here and there complemented by the muted tint of a car door or an old fridge. Someone’s getting rich on old scraps of metal.

As we walk into Aston’s Eyot, loud music is coming from beyond the trees up ahead.

There’s a morphed voice echoing over what seems like up-beat drum n’ bass music. For a moment I think we might have stumbled upon a secret daytime rave. Eventually we come across a clearing at the edge of the river, where some people are having an evening barbecue.

As we do so, a boat cruises by, packed with teenagers screaming and shouting to loud music. Soon it has passed, filling new river edges with its psychedelic music and haunting deep voices, and the river edge returns to the quiet crackle of fire and smoke.

A couple of rowing boats float past elegantly, with the odd plash of an oar and the thump of the blades squaring.

The geography of Oxford is often misleading.

Sitting at the top of South Park, I have often been surprised by how far east Port Meadow

appears to be; walking towards Kidneys nature reserve, the river seems to lie to close to the road.

It’s a great name, The Kidneys. Looking at a map, the name seems fitting, as the shape of these small fields could well seem like that of the human organ that gives them their name. But it is also in many ways symbolic; the diuretic connotations of the name, and the cleanising nature of the kidney, are lent an extra dimension by the reserve’s history.

Formelly a rubbish dump, the Kidneys and its neighbouring Aston’s Eyot were a rubbish dump until the mid-10th Century, and have generated astonishingly quickly. At this time of year, the grass in the clearing is tall and thick with buttercups and other wild flowers, and people come down with their young children to play, The reserve is, in general, unremarkable.

It is but a couple of meadows – not large, not unique, not in any way special. And yet, walking straight from the city centre into its open fields, it comes as a huge breath of leafed relief, tucked away as it is seemingly in the centre of a residential area. The role that such liminal places play in people’s lives across the world is enormous; they lie somewhere between the sphere of public, tidy city parks, and the more furrowed environment of an wholly natural area.

Our visit to the Kidneys is short; a brief spell of fresh air. The air is thickening with a dayslong splatter of rain, and light is beginning to fade. We step through some bushes between two trees, and back onto the pavement.

14 | Life&Style

Houmous Girl Houmous Girl hesitated in the doorway. The scene before her was not one she had envisaged on her blustery cycle ride to the pub. A winning smile with a single red rose clenched between strong white teeth, possibly. Being enveloped in brawny, tanned biceps and swept off for a dirty weekend in the Algarve, perhaps.

A sweaty and ineffectual tumble in the disabled loos during a bop at Teddy Hall, almost certainly.

But not this.

Far from the intimate tête-àtête Rower Lad had promised, there he was surrounded by an obnoxious troop of simian troglodytes crudely stuffed into shiny blazers. Somehow, she doubted he had disturbed them in the midst of preparing an elaborate wedding proposal of the sort sure to go viral with a title like “You’ll Feel Fundamentally Worthless As A Human Being When You See How Romantically This Oxford Undergraduate Popped The Question”.

Obnoxiously Opinionated Guy had always made it very clear that marriage was a disgusting hangover from the days when you could be dunked in the village pond and have your nipples cut off if you failed to heat your husband’s slippers to the correct toastiness. Nonetheless, Houmous Girl had always had a soft spot for a soppy proposal – and none of her wedding fantasies had ever involved a scrum of malodorous oiks sloppily downing pints of ale.

“Houmous Girl, I –” began Rower Lad, half-rising from his bar stool and attempting to force his way through the tightly packed ranks of increasingly flatulent drinkers. But trying to get past Rugby Lad was like trying to get past an alcoholic Whomping Willow, intent not on knocking him out but on pressing seventeen pint glasses into his hand.

Finally, he ducked under Rugby Lad’s armpit and took a step toward the door. Houmous Girl lingered for a moment, already half-turning to leave. The warm evening sunlight glinted off her scrunchie.

Rower Lad reached into the depths of his soul to find something- anything- to say. But it was too late. Like the pint of McTavity’s Old Kiltsniffer disappearing down Rugby Lad’s gullet, she was already gone.

Edi tors’ Bargai n o f the Week A place on the Cherwell Top 40: A night with one of the editors!

Cherwell | 30.05.14

Fit College

s ’ a d l i H t S

Balliol %

Je sus %

Alex Potten and Ellie Fox

Emma Hewitt and Jack Saville

St Hilda’s polished cheekbones or New’s coy glances?

Vote now at www.cherwell.org

Top 3

1

Library

Nothing motivates you to focus on your reading like a desperate effort to avoid making eye contact with someone you haven’t replied to in three days, and have never actually spoken to in person.

2

Spots to...

“Have we met?” “I don’t think so...” The awkwardness is multiplied if you accidentally swiped right. And multiplied again by the presence of your assembled friends and acquaintances.

Mr Arzoo from Arzoo’s

HUMANS OF OXFORD

Bump into a Tinder match

Bop

3

Think you’ve got what it takes? Email lifestyle@ cherwell.org to enter the famously fierce competition

Sainsbury’s

If stuck in an immobile queue, feign that you have a series of very important text messages to attend to.

Do NOT attempt to shout small-talk over the automated nagging machines.

3 Seco0 Inter nd view

How long have you been open for?

Only one and a half years. We were in Bicester before which was nice. But now it’s slightly different— we get students a lot of the time, every day they come for crewdates.

Who do you think are worse on the crewdates— the boys or the girls?

I would say the women are louder. But the boys behave worse.

Do you ever have complaints from other tables?

Yes, most of the time. They come for a nice meal, to have a meal out, and then there are lots of students here and it can be quite noisy.

Do you have a favourite group of students who come regularly?

I can recognise most regular students when they come in. They are very friendly— I like them.

“I don’t like clichés”

Ro

��

1 0 1

“You asked me once, what was in Room 101. I told you that you knew the answer already.

Everyone knows it. The thing that is in Room 101 is the worst thing in the world.”

O’Brien

Kebab vans It seems like such a good idea at the time.

Slathered in whatever salt and fat amalgamation is available, its grease drips down your chin as the melted cheese slowly congeals in your mouth. It’s the next morning and ketchup stains and a dodgy stomach filled with chicken bones is all that remains, but you know you once again fell for its charms. Think of it like a one-night stand: you’re supposed to awkwardly leave and never see it again. Why do we keep going back for more?

Investigation: fines and punishment “Fines are archaic and unfair, and punish those with a lower income most”

Amid growing discomfort at the supposed lack of fairness involved in fines, C+ investigates the use of fines and other forms of punishment in Oxford An anonymous student talks being on the wrong end of an “unfair” fine

I

n Michaelmas term, I was fined a small amount of money by my college for a drink related incident. I vaguely understood my college’s point of view, even if I didn’t agree with it. The sum of money was reasonable, even if I couldn’t afford it. I coughed up the money, even if not quite on time. Fine (quite literally). What annoyed me, however, was the way in which I was treated.

There is something decidedly demeaning about standing outside the office door of a middle-aged man with the epithet ‘Dean’, alongside a few other 19 to 21 year olds.

With each of us dressed in a bizarre mismatched outfit reflective of our respective essay-crises – for me dungarees – and formal gown, sheepishly waiting to be called inside in order to let the dean, the human embodiment of the abstract ‘rules’ which govern our day-today lives, give us a good telling-off for a crime that no student really considers a crime.

I was reminded of the time when, as a fiveyear-old, I’d been taken to the office of my primary school’s draconian Headmaster to

“

We were used as scapegoats - as a warning to others be berated for doing poorly in a spelling test.

Even as a five-year-old, I had felt the same sense of acute injustice (what, really, is the difference between ‘wee’ and ‘we’ - they sound the same) that I felt as a nineteen-year-old.

Had nothing changed in fourteen years?

Was I really the same repulsively irresponsible shit at nineteen as I’d been at five? I didn’t think so. I could vote, I hadn’t added a superfluous ‘e’ to the first-person plural for at least ten years, and as far as I was concerned I drank entirely responsibly.

The truth is, we’d been outrageous enough

to hold a party; even more outrageously, we’d invited some freshers.

Now, I know what you’re thinking - this was some hideous, Black Cygnets-style invite whereby we’d only invited the most attractive freshers, or forced them to play ridiculous drinking games, or simply tied them down and waterboarded them with vodka. That’s not quite what happened.

You see, every fresher in college was invited to a party that night. Those who wanted to come came. Those who did not didn’t. Those who wanted to consume alcohol consumed alcohol. Those who did not were supplied with juice and coca-cola (admittedly, the latter could well have wreaked havoc with their teeth – college, I apologise for ever having doubted you).

These were subject welcome drinks.

They have been held in my college for time immemorial and never before been objectionable. On the night my subject group and I held our drinks, at least half a dozen other welcome drinks events were taking place. And yet we were the only group to be fined that night, the reason being that this chap, ‘Dean’, had decided to pop up and investigate our staircase first.

If we’d been one flight along, or even a few minutes tardier in our alcohol consumption, we would not have been punished. The fact is, we were used as scapegoats – as a warning to others. It made me feel like I was in a boarding school. It made me feel like a five year old again.

So college, if you decide to fine a group of consenting adults for consuming alcohol in future, oblige me in two things: firstly, ensure that they’re actually consuming alcohol, rather than the unfortunate-tasting bile known as Tesco own-brand lager. (Reports that it is simply horse urine are exaggerated, but only just.)

Secondly, don’t be so bloody judgmental.

Many, many teenagers drink alcohol, and doing so at university should not be met with any kind of sanction. The majority of students do it, and the majority of students are involved in the sort of ‘party’ I was fined for on a regular basis.

Have you been fined by your college, by the University, by both, or not at all?

Neither (69%)

Yes, by my college (26%) Yes, by the University (2%)

Yes, both (3%)

Source: C+ survey of 213 people

C+ asks JCR representatives about how their members deal with fines

Which colleges fine students, and how much do they fine them?

E

xperience of fining varies hugely between colleges. Whilst most issue monetary fines, others prefer to punish students by non-financial methods. There is also much discrepancy between colleges in how often fines are imposed, their value, and what behaviour is deemed punishable. Students on the wrong side of this have expressed their resentment to C+.

A few colleges do not exact financial fines.

Balliol JCR President, Dan Turner, told C+ that, “The punishment regime in Balliol generally is very soft and liberal. Rule-breaking would be treated more as a pastoral issue than a punitive one. People don’t really get fined, and the worst punishment you could expect would be a ban from the bar.”

In contrast, colleges such as University College only issue financial fines. JCR President Abigail Reeves commented, “Fines, if issued, are financial... Community service is not issued as a punishment, but if individuals cre-

Money received in fines £20,000

£10,000

“

The Dean will often make the first fine delayed, so you only pay if you re-offend £0

£0 - £2,500

£2,500 £10,000

£10,000+

No fines

Total fines unspecified

No data available Source: C+ survey of 213 people and Freedom of Information Act 2000

A C+ INVESTIGATION into the use of fines and other punishments by the University of Oxford and its constituent colleges has discovered that over the past three academic years, some colleges have fined their student bodies more than £10,000. C+ can also reveal that there have been only three cases of students being banned from University property in the past three years, and that, “In two cases, the student was suspended because they were under Police investigation for possible criminal behaviour towards another member of the University. In the other case, the student was suspended because they were suspected of financial dishonesty towards the University.”

The central University authorities have taken £7,040 in non-library fines over the last three years. The University has also made an eyeopening £165,688 in Bodleian Library fines over the two academic years 2011-2012 and 2012-2013.

A C+ survey has also shown that, based on over 200 respondents, 31% of Oxford students have been subject to financial punishment from either their college or the University, with offences ranging from late submission of room inventory forms to trashing and illegal filesharing all causing monetary pain.

The colleges that have fined their students

the most over the past three academic years are Exeter and St. Hugh’s. The former has recouped £19,156, £7,728 of which is made up of library fines. Exeter’s primary issues, however, seem to be late payment of battels, with over £10,000 of their overall fines traceable to delayed student payments. St. Hugh’s have obtained £16,497 of their students’ money in fines over the same period, although notably, the St. Margaret’s Road college only began to charge fines in relation to their library in 2011.

St. Hilda’s too have made over £10,000 from student indiscipline, with a total of £12,792 being taken in fines.

Notably, at Pembroke, forgetting to sign a guest into the college is subject to a £40 fine, although the College note, “Students can signin guests in person at the lodge or by e-mail”.

Pembroke also operate a system of suspended fining, where “urinating in public or on College grounds” was subject to a £80 suspended penalty, whilst “tampering with fire-safety equipment” garnered a £250 punishment with an additional £250 suspended.

In recent years at Wadham, offences have included breaches of “noise and party regulations” amounting to £210 across seven separate infractions and “fire safety regulations”

amounting to £100; “misuse of domestic facilities” which garnered a £30 fine; and a £20 fine for “damage to property”. Wadham are, however, one of several colleges not to charge fines for overdue library books.

“

To forget to sign a guest into the College is subject to a £40 fine Graduate colleges Linacre and St. Cross both reported £250 worth of fines levied by Oxford University Computer Services for responding to cease and desist letters for file-sharing.

Several colleges do not use fines as a decanal sanction at all, with St. Anne’s, Worcester, Jesus, and Nuffield all preferring to use other systems such as community service around college. A Worcester undergraduate related this to the pleasant state of the college’s grounds, saying, “Worcester doesn’t really do fines, the

Dean prefers to give out ‘community service’ style gardening tasks. It’s why the main quad lawn is so good.”

Several respondents agreed with this idea, arguing, “Fines are often extortionate and there are much fairer punishments which do not favour those with more financial stability such as community service” and “Fines disadvantage some pupils more than others, and are thus not a fair punishment, particularly when a blanket fine is given to a group.”

On the other hand, another anonymous respondent felt outrage over fines was misplaced, saying that, “Fines should be stricter.

Any claims that students cannot afford them are generally wrong considering how much ‘poor’ students spend on alcohol.”

An Oxford University spokesperson defended the use of fines by the University, saying, “A fine is one possible penalty in cases of misconduct. Penalties are only imposed after a disciplinary investigation and a disciplinary hearing and may include an order to pay compensation to any person or body suffering injury, damage or loss as a result of the misconduct. The disciplinary procedures include provision for appeals procedures.”

ate too much mess they are strongly encouraged to clean up after themselves. The main form of punishment is being sent to see the Dean, discipline issues rarely go further than this.”

Keble is a college where fines were in the news last Michaelmas after a crackdown on “Keble Blinds” drinks. However, JCR President Tomas Ford told C+ that “the Dean will often make the first fine delayed, so you only pay it if you do actually re-offend”, and noted no recent controversies about Keble’s policy.

Whilst many individual respondents to the C+ survey were critical towards their college’s fining policy, JCR representatives contacted by C+ did not note any particular controversies or larger problems with the college’s stance.

Although one individual at New College labelled its attitude to fining “ridiculous”, New College JCR President Kath Nicholls commented, “The JCR on the whole doesn’t seem to have particularly strong opinions either way on the subject of fines. No-one has approached me to suggest I look into the fines system at New College... A fairly small number of students receive fines, and I believe that the College would waive a fine if the student were in any kind of financial difficulty.”

Fabian Apel, Magdalen JCR President, said, “I am not aware of any recent controversies; it is rare that people feel that they have been treated unfairly, although there have been occasional cases of people feeling their fines were too high.”

Abigail Reeves, the University College JCR President, suggested the introduction of “some form of cap, to ensure that people can’t be caught off guard and also to make sure individuals are given the opportunity to speak to college about the reasonableness of the fine issued”.

As such, JCR Reps are split over the effectiveness of fining, and the debate will continue, although it appears that the University will not change their policy any time soon.

It should be noted that £10,948 of the figure for Exeter College is made up of ‘Administration Fees’ in response to late payment of battels, and the College do not consider this a disciplinary sanction.

Quick facts

26% £165,888

Percentage of students who have been fined by their college

Number of students banned from University premises 2010-2013

Amount of money paid in Bodleian Library fines 20112013

3

Investigation: fines and punishment “Fines are archaic and unfair, and punish those with a lower income most”

Amid growing discomfort at the supposed lack of fairness involved in fines, C+ investigates the use of fines and other forms of punishment in Oxford An anonymous student talks being on the wrong end of an “unfair” fine

I

n Michaelmas term, I was fined a small amount of money by my college for a drink related incident. I vaguely understood my college’s point of view, even if I didn’t agree with it. The sum of money was reasonable, even if I couldn’t afford it. I coughed up the money, even if not quite on time. Fine (quite literally). What annoyed me, however, was the way in which I was treated.

There is something decidedly demeaning about standing outside the office door of a middle-aged man with the epithet ‘Dean’, alongside a few other 19 to 21 year olds.

With each of us dressed in a bizarre mismatched outfit reflective of our respective essay-crises – for me dungarees – and formal gown, sheepishly waiting to be called inside in order to let the dean, the human embodiment of the abstract ‘rules’ which govern our day-today lives, give us a good telling-off for a crime that no student really considers a crime.

I was reminded of the time when, as a fiveyear-old, I’d been taken to the office of my primary school’s draconian Headmaster to

“

We were used as scapegoats - as a warning to others be berated for doing poorly in a spelling test.

Even as a five-year-old, I had felt the same sense of acute injustice (what, really, is the difference between ‘wee’ and ‘we’ - they sound the same) that I felt as a nineteen-year-old.

Had nothing changed in fourteen years?

Was I really the same repulsively irresponsible shit at nineteen as I’d been at five? I didn’t think so. I could vote, I hadn’t added a superfluous ‘e’ to the first-person plural for at least ten years, and as far as I was concerned I drank entirely responsibly.

The truth is, we’d been outrageous enough

to hold a party; even more outrageously, we’d invited some freshers.

Now, I know what you’re thinking - this was some hideous, Black Cygnets-style invite whereby we’d only invited the most attractive freshers, or forced them to play ridiculous drinking games, or simply tied them down and waterboarded them with vodka. That’s not quite what happened.

You see, every fresher in college was invited to a party that night. Those who wanted to come came. Those who did not didn’t. Those who wanted to consume alcohol consumed alcohol. Those who did not were supplied with juice and coca-cola (admittedly, the latter could well have wreaked havoc with their teeth – college, I apologise for ever having doubted you).

These were subject welcome drinks.

They have been held in my college for time immemorial and never before been objectionable. On the night my subject group and I held our drinks, at least half a dozen other welcome drinks events were taking place. And yet we were the only group to be fined that night, the reason being that this chap, ‘Dean’, had decided to pop up and investigate our staircase first.

If we’d been one flight along, or even a few minutes tardier in our alcohol consumption, we would not have been punished. The fact is, we were used as scapegoats – as a warning to others. It made me feel like I was in a boarding school. It made me feel like a five year old again.

So college, if you decide to fine a group of consenting adults for consuming alcohol in future, oblige me in two things: firstly, ensure that they’re actually consuming alcohol, rather than the unfortunate-tasting bile known as Tesco own-brand lager. (Reports that it is simply horse urine are exaggerated, but only just.)

Secondly, don’t be so bloody judgmental.

Many, many teenagers drink alcohol, and doing so at university should not be met with any kind of sanction. The majority of students do it, and the majority of students are involved in the sort of ‘party’ I was fined for on a regular basis.

Have you been fined by your college, by the University, by both, or not at all?

Neither (69%)

Yes, by my college (26%) Yes, by the University (2%)

Yes, both (3%)

Source: C+ survey of 213 people

C+ asks JCR representatives about how their members deal with fines

Which colleges fine students, and how much do they fine them?

E

xperience of fining varies hugely between colleges. Whilst most issue monetary fines, others prefer to punish students by non-financial methods. There is also much discrepancy between colleges in how often fines are imposed, their value, and what behaviour is deemed punishable. Students on the wrong side of this have expressed their resentment to C+.

A few colleges do not exact financial fines.

Balliol JCR President, Dan Turner, told C+ that, “The punishment regime in Balliol generally is very soft and liberal. Rule-breaking would be treated more as a pastoral issue than a punitive one. People don’t really get fined, and the worst punishment you could expect would be a ban from the bar.”

In contrast, colleges such as University College only issue financial fines. JCR President Abigail Reeves commented, “Fines, if issued, are financial... Community service is not issued as a punishment, but if individuals cre-

Money received in fines £20,000

£10,000

“

The Dean will often make the first fine delayed, so you only pay if you re-offend £0

£0 - £2,500

£2,500 £10,000

£10,000+

No fines

Total fines unspecified

No data available Source: C+ survey of 213 people and Freedom of Information Act 2000

A C+ INVESTIGATION into the use of fines and other punishments by the University of Oxford and its constituent colleges has discovered that over the past three academic years, some colleges have fined their student bodies more than £10,000. C+ can also reveal that there have been only three cases of students being banned from University property in the past three years, and that, “In two cases, the student was suspended because they were under Police investigation for possible criminal behaviour towards another member of the University. In the other case, the student was suspended because they were suspected of financial dishonesty towards the University.”

The central University authorities have taken £7,040 in non-library fines over the last three years. The University has also made an eyeopening £165,688 in Bodleian Library fines over the two academic years 2011-2012 and 2012-2013.

A C+ survey has also shown that, based on over 200 respondents, 31% of Oxford students have been subject to financial punishment from either their college or the University, with offences ranging from late submission of room inventory forms to trashing and illegal filesharing all causing monetary pain.

The colleges that have fined their students

the most over the past three academic years are Exeter and St. Hugh’s. The former has recouped £19,156, £7,728 of which is made up of library fines. Exeter’s primary issues, however, seem to be late payment of battels, with over £10,000 of their overall fines traceable to delayed student payments. St. Hugh’s have obtained £16,497 of their students’ money in fines over the same period, although notably, the St. Margaret’s Road college only began to charge fines in relation to their library in 2011.

St. Hilda’s too have made over £10,000 from student indiscipline, with a total of £12,792 being taken in fines.

Notably, at Pembroke, forgetting to sign a guest into the college is subject to a £40 fine, although the College note, “Students can signin guests in person at the lodge or by e-mail”.

Pembroke also operate a system of suspended fining, where “urinating in public or on College grounds” was subject to a £80 suspended penalty, whilst “tampering with fire-safety equipment” garnered a £250 punishment with an additional £250 suspended.

In recent years at Wadham, offences have included breaches of “noise and party regulations” amounting to £210 across seven separate infractions and “fire safety regulations”

amounting to £100; “misuse of domestic facilities” which garnered a £30 fine; and a £20 fine for “damage to property”. Wadham are, however, one of several colleges not to charge fines for overdue library books.

“

To forget to sign a guest into the College is subject to a £40 fine Graduate colleges Linacre and St. Cross both reported £250 worth of fines levied by Oxford University Computer Services for responding to cease and desist letters for file-sharing.

Several colleges do not use fines as a decanal sanction at all, with St. Anne’s, Worcester, Jesus, and Nuffield all preferring to use other systems such as community service around college. A Worcester undergraduate related this to the pleasant state of the college’s grounds, saying, “Worcester doesn’t really do fines, the

Dean prefers to give out ‘community service’ style gardening tasks. It’s why the main quad lawn is so good.”

Several respondents agreed with this idea, arguing, “Fines are often extortionate and there are much fairer punishments which do not favour those with more financial stability such as community service” and “Fines disadvantage some pupils more than others, and are thus not a fair punishment, particularly when a blanket fine is given to a group.”

On the other hand, another anonymous respondent felt outrage over fines was misplaced, saying that, “Fines should be stricter.

Any claims that students cannot afford them are generally wrong considering how much ‘poor’ students spend on alcohol.”

An Oxford University spokesperson defended the use of fines by the University, saying, “A fine is one possible penalty in cases of misconduct. Penalties are only imposed after a disciplinary investigation and a disciplinary hearing and may include an order to pay compensation to any person or body suffering injury, damage or loss as a result of the misconduct. The disciplinary procedures include provision for appeals procedures.”

ate too much mess they are strongly encouraged to clean up after themselves. The main form of punishment is being sent to see the Dean, discipline issues rarely go further than this.”

Keble is a college where fines were in the news last Michaelmas after a crackdown on “Keble Blinds” drinks. However, JCR President Tomas Ford told C+ that “the Dean will often make the first fine delayed, so you only pay it if you do actually re-offend”, and noted no recent controversies about Keble’s policy.

Whilst many individual respondents to the C+ survey were critical towards their college’s fining policy, JCR representatives contacted by C+ did not note any particular controversies or larger problems with the college’s stance.

Although one individual at New College labelled its attitude to fining “ridiculous”, New College JCR President Kath Nicholls commented, “The JCR on the whole doesn’t seem to have particularly strong opinions either way on the subject of fines. No-one has approached me to suggest I look into the fines system at New College... A fairly small number of students receive fines, and I believe that the College would waive a fine if the student were in any kind of financial difficulty.”

Fabian Apel, Magdalen JCR President, said, “I am not aware of any recent controversies; it is rare that people feel that they have been treated unfairly, although there have been occasional cases of people feeling their fines were too high.”

Abigail Reeves, the University College JCR President, suggested the introduction of “some form of cap, to ensure that people can’t be caught off guard and also to make sure individuals are given the opportunity to speak to college about the reasonableness of the fine issued”.

As such, JCR Reps are split over the effectiveness of fining, and the debate will continue, although it appears that the University will not change their policy any time soon.

It should be noted that £10,948 of the figure for Exeter College is made up of ‘Administration Fees’ in response to late payment of battels, and the College do not consider this a disciplinary sanction.

Quick facts

26% £165,888

Percentage of students who have been fined by their college

Number of students banned from University premises 2010-2013

Amount of money paid in Bodleian Library fines 20112013

3

C

+

M

“Fines seem shrouded in a lot of secrecy” What can you get fined for, and where does the money go anyway?

oney taken in fines is redistributed in varying ways in different colleges.

Some, such as Exeter, put the money recouped towards student hardship funds.

Wadham, Mansfield, Pembroke, St. Hugh’s, and Harris Manchester all also put fined money towards student support – although with each college there is often a small amount of money set aside for administration costs.

Exeter, for example, feel that, “£30 is deemed as a reasonable administration charge for having to continually chase students to pay their

C+ explores where the money recouped through fines is spent

battels.”

Other colleges, such as Merton, donate the proceeds of fines towards JCR nominated charities – an approach mirrored by the University’s Proctors who vote at the end of each academic year on a charity to donate to. Often the charity chosen has a connection to students.

Colleges such as St. Hilda’s and New put money towards “general academic purposes”.

Largely, fines for overdue library fines or other library indiscretions are reinvested into library infrastructure.

C+ shows the most frequent finable offences among our survey’s respondents

For example, all of the £7,728 and £4,462 raised through Library fines by Exeter and New Colleges respectively is streamed directly back to the two college’s libraries to assist with library purchases.

The Universiy’s policy on reinvesting library fines is similar, fines remain “within the libraries but is not directly allocated to any particular purpose.”

C+ runs through what the rulebooks actually say

A

Info: Word size correlates to frequency of response

cross the University, rules and regulations bite students when they least expect it. This is C+’s run through of some of the major laws which govern our student lives.

At New College, “The Dean may impose penalties which may include the recovery of the cost of repairs to College property; discretionary fines of up to £390 per offence; and the giving of compensatory assistance to College Staff.

The Dean may also deprive Junior Members of the opportunity to reside in College.” New College is also staunch about one fact, that, “Financial hardship is not grounds for appeal against the imposition of a disciplinary fine.”

Magdalen takes care to remind students of the fact that they can withdraw college residence from students. “Junior members are reminded that living in College premises is a privilege which can be removed with immediate effect as a consequence of uncivilised and/ or anti-social activity.”

At Teddy Hall, the College makes clear that any rules they do impose are for the students’ own good. “We aim to enforce only such regulations as are necessary to keep the College a secure, safe and pleasant environment in which all its members may live and study without undue disturbance. The Dean prefers to do this informally in the first instance, relying on your goodwill, but some formal regulations

Source: C+ survey of 213 people and Freedom of Information Act 2000

are desirable, firstly to inform you in more detail of the sorts of behaviour which do cause concern, and secondly to act as a reference point for stronger disciplinary action if this becomes necessary. ” Christ Church’s rules explain exactly how much power the arbiters of law have. “The Junior Censor is empowered to levy fines up to £500 and to limit the use of College facilities including the deprivation of rooms in College.

If, on investigation, the Junior Censor considers that a case might warrant the imposition of a more serious sanction (the levying of a fine in excess of £500), rustication (temporary suspension) or sending down (permanent expulsion) the matter will be referred by the Junior Censor in writing to a Disciplinary Panel.”

Elsewhere, Exeter College reminds its students that they are, well, students. A section of its ‘Red Book’ of regulations states, “The College is, first and foremost, an academic institution concerned with higher learning. All College members are expected to conduct themselves in a manner that is commensurate with this, and is respectful of the role and reputation of the College in the wider University and City communities. The Sub-Rector, Junior Dean and Assistant Junior Dean may apply fines, rustication and/or other sanctions on those bringing the College into disrepute by their conduct either inside or outside of College.”

What about the University’s central regulations then? The first item on the University’s ‘Code of Discipline’ is telling. “No member of the University shall in a university context intentionally or recklessly disrupt or attempt to disrupt teaching or study or research or the administrative, sporting, social, cultural, or other activities of the University.” Luckily for C+ though, no-one can “disrupt freedom of speech” either.

30.05.14 | Cherwell

Food and Drink | 19

When you go down to the woods...

Recipe

Liz English on how to prepare the perfect picnic

I

t’s that time of the year when the weather is turning. On those days when it’s actually sunny, I can’t resist a picnic, so this week I’m taking a look at the UK’s most popular picnic food, and also considering some tasty alternative options to our traditional expectations.

First up is the sandwich, obviously with the crusts cut off. After years of soggy, mushy packed-lunch tuna sarnies, I need a fair amount of convincing to take a sandwich on a picnic. It always seems to start so well: the filling remains confined to its soft but dry bready prison. A couple of hours (and miles) later, some sort of mayonnaise osmosis has happened and the once-perfect sandwich looks like it’s already been digested. Not amazingly appetising. A British classic, the cucumber sandwich, is particularly prone to this tragedy. Yet fear not, O cucumber sandwich lovers: a solution is at hand. The trick is to place the cucumber slices on kitchen towel and to dab thoroughly before making the sandwiches. This removes a good deal of the water, limiting the potential for sogginess.

Further popular picnic foods have a common theme: cold meat. Scotch eggs, cocktail sausages and pork pies can be spotted in a picnic basket a mile away, yet we shouldn’t confine ourselves to such limited choices.

All manner of foods are at home at a picnic, and quite often veggie picnic option tends to taste better than some dodgy, cheap mini sausages. BBC GoodFood has an excellent recipe for falafel scotch eggs, which are full of flavour and have a kick to them, too. Similarly, frittata slices make great quiche alternatives (easier and quicker to make – much less scope for too much squidge), and by stirring a pot of yoghurt into cold chicken curry, you can make coronation chicken.

Finally, inally, what British picnic would be the same without a flask of tea? I still find it odd that my parents never cease to have a cuppa handy, even on the hottest of days. Perhaps they’ve learnt what I have yet to - be prepared.

To a cold, crammed car picnic, perhaps that mug of tea makes all the difference.

of the

Week

Top tips for successful picnicking:

1

2

Ice-packs, especially good if you’re walking or punting for a while before eating (put your drinks bottles in the freezer a couple of hours before to kill two birds with one stone)

Travel light. This means finger food – nobody wants to bring unnecessary cutlery. Can you eat off the food container lids? And is everything disposable or do you need to carry it home as well?

4

Plan for your picnic location. Will you be needing a blanket or plastic bag to avoid getting your one pair of white summer trousers covered in green grass stains?

Are you punting? If so, have you got duck food handy, or will you be sacrificing your home-cooked goodies for feathered opportunists?

5

5

Ingredients (Makes 20) Pack of 6 sausages – give cheap ones some flavour with fresh herbs and garlic 375g ready-rolled puff pastry 1 egg, beaten Method 1) Remove the skins from the sausages, and place the sausage meat in a bowl. This is the time to add some flavour. Try adding any of the following…

– Garlic and mixed herbs – Lemon and rosemary – Salt and a black pepper 2) Unroll the pastry and divide it lengthways into two equal portions. Spoon the sausage mixture evenly down both sheets of pastry, but leave a finger-width gap on each side.

3) Roll the pastry over the sausage meat and use the beaten egg as a kind of glue.

Using a sharp knife, cut each roll into slices approximately 2.5 cm in length. You should end up with around ten slices per roll.

4) Place your sausage rolls on a baking sheet brush all over with the beaten egg and then cook for roughly thirty minutes.

The pastry should be puffed and golden, and the sausage meat cooked through.

Cocktails with Cai Get yourself through mid-term blues with this week’s White Lady

It’s 5th Week, and most Oxford students will by now be reduced a zombie-like state of living death. Meanwhile, those with prelims and finals amongst us will be cooped up in the library, counting down the hours and days until they have the sheer glory of sloshing Sainsbury’s Cava down their subfusc.

Coupled with the onslaught of rain once more, it’s been a pretty miserable week so far. One would think that, in honour of the 5th Week blues, a blue cocktail would be wholly appropriate for this week’s cocktail, however, I decided to go for something a bit different.

Pale and ethereal, this week’s cocktail is the White Lady, of the sour family of cocktails.

Review: Magdalen

Have weather-flexible eating arrangements (hey, if you want to get wet, go ahead) – large trees, cars or friendly cafes are good.

Rigid containers for food. At the very least, have one large container you can put bags of food in.

3 1

Picnic sausage rolls

Despite being listed in the Savoy Cocktail Book of 1930, the original creator of this most glamorous of tipples was no other than Harry himself, of Harry’s New York Bar in Paris, a locale frequented by greats from Coco Chanel to Humphrey Bogart.

But the White Lady we know now - the one a favourite of John Le Carré spy protagonist Fred Leiser - wasn’t quite the same back then.

In its first form, the White Lady was gin, with crème de menthe and lemon juice. But with the substitution for crème de menthe, and the delightful inclusion of egg white for foaminess, it quickly became a success.

In Ernest Hemingway’s book Islands in the Stream, Stream when a bartender is asked for a

White Lady, “He served her a bottle of that American mineral water with a lady in a white kinda mosquito netting dress sitting by a spring.”

With all due respect to the lady, I know which one I’d rather. So go find yourself the few ingredients needed for this brilliant cocktail, and relish the citrusy elegance of the White Lady.

Ingredients 2 parts gin 1 part Cointreau 1 part lemon juice Egg white Method Shake ingredients with ice and serve chilled. Add orange or lemon slice for zest!

Magdalen is often referred to as one of the best colleges in Oxford due to its beautiful architecture and picturesque grounds.

Walking into Magdalen’s charming woodpanelled hall, it was with some trepidation I took my place and wondered which side of Magdalen would be on the menu.

The meal began with a mound of salmon and whitebait, topped with breadcrumbs and covered in a creamy white sauce. This simple plate, whilst not looking particularly elegant, delivered on flavour. The breadcrumbs gave a wellneeded contrast in texture, and the classic combination of fish with a cream sauce did not fail. Perhaps a little heavy for a starter, it tasted very good nevertheless.

I had, at this point, high expectations for the main, which certainly sounded good on paper. As my eyes fell on the plate, however, I knew that I was very much mistaken.

Let’s start with the meat. It was a breast of duck with a wrinkled fatty skin, so dry and spongy that I might as well have been eating, well, a sponge. The potatoes, dry pellets of powdery fluff, fared no better. Thankfully, gravy was at hand and helped somewhat. The worst thing on the plate by an entire country mile, though, was the ratatouille. Scattered like a pile of gory entrails on the plate, it was ratatouille in name only.

After the main, my expectations for the

“

Scattered like a pile of gory entrails on the plate, it was ratatouille in name only desert were in free fall. Dessert couldn’t be that bad, though, could it? A triangle of semolina cake was served on an insipid yellow squiggle. In another context, this dessert would have been perfectly fine. It tasted pleasant enough, flavoured with lemon. The problem was it looked like a something you might pick up at The Alternative Tuck Shop as a lunchtime treat, or maybe something you had as pudding for a school dinner. This, however, was formal hall. Like turning up for an exam without subfusc, it just felt very out of place.

For a college with such a reputation, I can’t help but say that this formal was disappointing. It was not cheap either, coming in at £10 (without wine). Menus for the week are published in advance, so if you are going to visit Magdalen, take heed: avoid the ratatouille, and if semolina cake is on the menu, save yourself some money and give the excellent cakes of The Alternative Tuck Shop a go instead.

Samuel Kim and Aimée Kwan

PHOTO

INTO THE WILD

BY MAX BROWN

FASHION Fashion Matters

From Catwalk to Closet: Florals ‘Florals? For spring? Groundbreaking.’ So said Miranda Priestly; but here at Cherwell Fashion, we think you should take a walk through the Garden of Eden this spring, with loads of designers including this perfect spring motif in their S/S 14 collections. Take inspiration from Hermès by opting for darker base shades with a splash of colour for variety.

LOOSE FIT PRINTED DRESS £29.99, ZARA The darker background on this piece definitely stops it from getting overly sweet, with its soft loose hem and thin shoulder straps. We love the smattering of flowers across the top, moving into a floral frenzy in the skirt. Pair with an oversized denim jacket to add more of an edge, and leather sandals to tempt out the sun!

Fur: Cherwell’s fashion team considers one of the industry’s more controversial issues.

D

espite the decline over recent years, real fur is making a comeback in the world of fashion. Barely ten years after the ‘Rather Go Naked’ campaign, headed by supermodels Kate Moss and Naomi Campbell, fur was seen dominating this year’s catwalks, with designers such as Tom Ford and Christopher Ford partaking in the trend. But the inclusion of animal skins and fur in fashion continues to be a matter of controversy. There is no disputing the fact that every year, thousands of animals are killed in order to produce a variety of products, from sweaters to snake-skin bags. But what does this mean for us? As consumers of fashion, it is an area we can hardly ignore. What is the real price of that luxurious fur coat you have been saving up for?

The area is by no means straightforward.

After all, most of us eat meat without question. According to GOV.UK, 211,000 sheep per week were slaughtered for their meat in January alone this year. Someone who is happy to eat lamb but refuses to buy a jumper made from lambs’ wool might be called a hypocrite. However, the debate arguably lies in the treatment of the animals rather than the actual use of fur itself. Indeed, PETA have given some horrific reports on the treatment of animals, with many being skinned alive or kept in miniscule cages. This is particularly true for countries outside of Europe; in some areas of

“

From sweaters to snake-skin...what’s the real price?

China, for example, there are no penalties enforced for the abuse of animals. Singer PINK, meanwhile, (a high profile advocate for PETA) has criticised the wool industry in Australia.

We Are Fur, one of the main companies that supports the use of real fur, claims that the majority of animals used for their fur do not suffer, with the condition of their coat being ‘one of the first and clearest indications of the care that the animal is receiving’. Still, we have seen in recent months how not all clothing vendors are willing to let this trend continue, with stores such as Forever21, Mango and Calvin Klein taking an active stand against the use of angora rabbit fur earlier this year. The Guardian even went on to question if angora usage would ever be ethical, alluding to the extreme treatment of the animals involved.

As with many things, we cannot know what really happens behind closed doors.

But if there’s any reasonable doubt as to the morality of such a trade, then perhaps it is better not to buy, or support, the use of real fur in fashion? Indeed, to the untrained eye, there’s even very little difference between the appearance of real and faux fur. Moreover, choosing the latter will save a considerable degree of money. A similar phrase to the medical ‘if in doubt check it out’ might be applied to the buying of fur clothes: ‘if in doubt leave it out’, that is, leave it on the hanger.

Niluka Kavanagh

FLORAL VISOR £13.00, RIVER ISLAND Keep the sun off your face in style with this tropical print visor. We love the dark base contrasting with the brightly coloured flowers and palm leaves. Add a white broderie-anglaise strappy dress and pale coloured espadrilles or primsolls for a cute, summery look.

PATTERNED SCARF £4.99, H&M The lightweight material of this flowery scarf means you can wear it even on the sunniest days. Not sure if you’ll need it? Tie it around the handles or straps of your handbag to instantly brighten up your day-time accessories. With such a variety of colours, ranging from pink to yellow to blue, this scarf is also super-easy to coordinate with whatever you happen to be wearing.

Images (Clockwise from top): ZARA, River Island, Topshop, H&M

Hermès SS’14 www.style.com

Suit and Tie

TROPICAL FLORAL ALL-IN-ONE £29.00, TOPSHOP A jumpsuit is the perfect go-to outfit and this one combines practicality with style: the elasticated waist gives it a more flattering finish, while the soft tropical print is suitable for sunny days or hazy evenings. We’d match it with black platform sandals.

Street Style

Summer Knitwear British weather has been typically inclement this past week – wet and windy.

Rather than heavy raincoats, we need some reassuring knitwear. Something which will look good when you pull it on in the morning bleary-eyed, and can look just as good when you are inevitably drawn to a ‘revision break’ at the College bar. Near exams, we tend to live in comfortable cardigans and oversize sweatshirts, but we do need some pieces which can be more striking, more versatile, but just as easy to throw on.

Beginners: The turtle-neck is at the heart of the fashionistas’ wardrobes, and it is obvious why. The ultimate in effortless styling, they elongate the frame and require minimal work – just walk out the door.

This black cotton roll-neck from Topman (£24) is the standard style, but don’t be afraid of colour.

Pair with black skinny jeans or stone slim fit chinos to maintain a certain sleekness.

When running to that last minute engagement in town, make sure you’re wearing some polished black Chelsea boots, throw on a blazer, and accessorise accordingly – a pocket square, your favourite watch, but please, don’t look to The Big Bang Theory’s Howard Wolowitz for tips!

Fashionistas: As I have said over the past couple of weeks, when it comes to really hitting the fashion quota, you need to go for clashing colours, plucky patterns, or both of the above. This floral sweatshirt from River Island (£30) works both of these trends, but pair it naturally with black or burgundy trousers and you can look fashionable without overdoing it. For exhausted finalists, fashionistas can be an assault on the senses and so when daring to enter their library/new home, the least we can do is restrain ourselves somewhat.

Image and words: Sara Sayma

We’re feeling inspired by this slouchy look. Momjeans like these are this season’s way to wear denim and are a comfortable take on the high-waisted trend.

Half tucking in an oversized t-shirt (Stussy) makes the look effortless, whilst still cinching you in the right place. The creepers (Office) and socks combination is a clever way to add height and keep the outfit casual.

This utility jacket pulls the whole look together and is a stylish way to avoid the spring showers. Top marks!

22 | Fashion

Cherwell | 30.05.14

Top: Topshop

Dress: Motel, Jacket: GAP, Umbrella: Primark, Bra top: Topshop, Dungarees: Topshop, Jelly Shoes: JuJu

30.05.14 | Cherwell

Fashion | 23

W H A T E V E R

THE

Stylist Sara Sayma

Model Fay Kitiyakara

Photographer Leah Hendre

W E A T H E R

Th is

CULTURE

theme... k’s e we

Landscape

Green and pleasant lands: landscape in art Anna Zanetti takes us on a journey through time, looking at artistic attitudes to landscape

I

f you think of a ‘stereotypical’ painting, the first thing that comes to mind is probably a lush countryside scene - probably the sort of picture we all loved drawing as children. And even if this were not the case, it cannot be denied that landscape, whether of a natural scene or an urban setting, has always constituted the starting point for the production of art.

Over the centuries, painters have approached the subject in all sorts of ways. I had the chance to reflect on art’s figurative conception of landscape when I went to the Italian exhibition ‘Verso Monet’ (‘Towards Monet’) over Easter. In the exhibition, the paintings were organized chronologically, to give the visitor a clear, albeit schematic, idea of the evolution of the role of landscape in painting. Such divisions are the very sort of thing that annoy a historian, and inevitably raise doubt and debate. However, as artificial as it may be, such classification is precisely what allows us to chart the general trend of depiction of landscape over the centuries.

Let us start our (quick) tour with the 17th century. Back then, the typical scene was intimately related to mythology. Paintings like those by Claude Lorrain, for instance, generally derive their subject from the Classical tradition, set in a fascinating landscape. Interestingly enough, on occasion the painter tends to give more importance to the background than to the characters, who sometimes seem too small to be significant. It looks like at this stage landscape is already influencing and charming artists, who end up neglecting the mythological tale and its human characters in order to focus on nature. However, the landscape is stereotyped and somewhat detached from reality.

In the 18th century, with the Enlightenment and the triumph of science, the most important artistic movement was Vedutism, namely the depiction of urban scenes (‘vedute’), painted

in the finest detail. One of the most famous examples of this artistic trend is Canaletto, a Venetian painter who specialized in ‘vedute’ of his birthplace. The main aspect of his art is realism, and the goal to render the landscape as close to reality as possible. In order to do so, he uses the ‘camera obscura’, an optical device that projects an image onto a screen. In this way, Canaletto was able to produce painting that (quite literally) mirrored reality.

In the 19th century, Romanticism started to spread in Europe, and with it a completely different conception of landscape. The world of interiority acquires more and more impor-

tance and, accordingly, landscape is perceived not so much as a place to investigate scientifically, but as a source of emotions of all kinds.

The tempests of Turner, for instance, focus on the terrifying and shocking aspects of nature: the aim of his paintings is to instill awe and fear. On the other hand, if we consider an example taken from poetry, we see that nature can produce completely different emotions.

The daffodils of Wordsworth, for instance, give him bliss and happiness; the feeling of joy is also to be found in the beautiful landscape to which the daffodils belong: “beside the lake, beneath the trees”, “stretched in never-ending

line along the margin of a bay”.

A significant revolution was brought about in the later 19th century by Impressionism. To put it rather simply, Monet changes the way we see and experience landscape. He is interested in the impression of the moment, and

“

Monet changes the way we see and experience landscape his brush-strokes are directed at capturing the light, the atmosphere, the sensations he is feeling right at the time he is painting.

Monet’s aim was to portray his own impressions arising from nature, but paradoxically, he paints indoors. The famous concept of painting ‘en plein air’ is in fact a lie: impressionist painters would make a rapid sketch of the landscape, specifying the colours and shadows they wanted to include, and then go to their studios to put everything on a canvas. The whole process makes a lot of sense: if one stayed outdoors to finish one’s painting, one wouldn’t be able to capture the magic of the moment. Monet is interested in what nature can give him in a unique instance.

The importance of the conveying the ‘impression of the moment’ adds a reflection on time to two-dimensional figurative art. Going beyond mythology, realism, and emotions, it constitutes one of the greatest innovations in the history of art.

Friday & Saturday

Saturday

Sunday

Tuesday

Frankenstein Keble O’Reilly Theatre, 7.30pm

Oxford Women’s Society Garden Party Green Templeton College, 12pm

Corpus Christi Annual Tortoise Fair Corpus Christi College, 12pm

East India Youth O2 Academy, 7pm

This play is a completely devised adaptation of Shelley’s Frankenstein, which means that the cast have written the script themselves. They’ve even made a trailer and put it on Vimeo. Set in modern times, it will still doubtless contain some classic Frankenstein moments.

Oxford Women in Computer Science (OxWoCS), Oxford Women in Business (OxWiB), Oxford Women in Physics and Oxford women in loads of other great things are hosting a garden party. Sponsored by Facebook and Google, the party will be providing free food and treats.

One of the biggest regular events of the Trinity term calendar, the Corpus Christi Tortoise Fair is here to give you another fi x of tortoise fun - if Emmanuelle’s birthday party wasn’t enough for you. Live music, cake, barbecue, strawberries and cream, games, face painting - all are irrelevant next to the main event, the big one, the one we’ve all been waiting for: The Tortoise Race 2014.

Infamous for releasing a debut album, Total Strife Forever, whose name is a vaguely insulting pun on the Foals album, East India Youth (real name William Doyle) is as eccentric as this would suggest. Despite being a laptop musician, Youth has gained plaudits for his energetic live performances. This Oxford date comes in the middle of an extensive and fairly non-stop touring schedule.

Picks of the Week

Culture | 25

30.05.14 | Cherwell

Top3

Milestones Cherwell picks out a key moment in cultural history. This

... Climbs

1

Touching the Void (1998) Joe Simpson

Joe Simpson’s 1988 book describes his and Simon Yates’ ascent of the Siula Grande. The most famous part of the book describes the moment when Simpson slipped off an ice cliff and broke his right leg. Yates was forced to cut the rope, sending Simpson plummeting into the darkness. Having survived the fall, Simpson was then forced to climb down further into the crevasse in order to escape. In 2003, a successful documentary was made of the same name.

2

Everest (2013) Public Service Broadcast

An eclectic mix of instruments, electronic in -fluences and audio samples from old public service broadcasts make up all of PSB’s music.

This song is littered with samples of people talking about climbing in clipped British accents, including a guest appearance from George Mallory asking, “Why should a man climb Everest? Because it is there.” Coldly grandiose, the instrumentation on this track combines brilliantly to form a vision of the magnifi cent Peak 15, the highest mountain in the world.

3

The Dark Knight Rises (2012)

Christopher Nolan’s conclusion to his epic Batman trilogy has been called out for its plot-holes. But one cannot deny that The Dark Knight rises is, if nothing else, an incredible spectacle. Memorably, Bruce Wayne fi nds himself imprisoned in a Very Deep Pit, and must climb out, something only ever achieved once by his nemesis, Bane. His attempts to climb the wall of the pit are deeply affecting. Each time he misses the crucial fi nal leap, we feel his pain as the harness nearly breaks his back.

week, Naomi Polonsky looks at infl uential Russian landscape artist Isaak Levitan

A

n autumnal grove of birch trees with slender white trunks and speckled orange leaves is interrupted by a meandering grey river, which softly reflects the hues of the bright sky above. Such is the effusive evocation of the Russian countryside in Isaak Levitan’s painting, Golden Autumn. Levitan, gave birth to a form of painting, known as the ‘landscape of mood’. ‘Landscape of mood’ spiritualizes the form and state of nature, using it as an expression of the human condition. Levitan’s landscapes are fl eeting representations of a forest clearing, a cottage, a river, a country path, haystacks.

Hushed, almost melancholic contemplations of pastoral settings were his characteristic style. With only a couple of exceptions in his prolific life work, Levitan did not depict urban landscapes, and his paintings are normally devoid of human presence. Despite few humans appear in these works, his paintings invariably reflect the prism of humanity and are often referred to as ‘psychological’ or ‘philosophical’.

Some also have political undercurrents. In one of his most famous pieces, Vladimirka, he paints the road down which people who had been exiled made their way to the distant Siberia. It is a lonely and deserted track seemingly leading nowhere and the pale grey of the sky conveys the dejection and desolation of the scene. Though only a depiction of a landscape, this painting was a controversial indictment of the government’s decision to send political prisoners down this godforsaken path. Levi-

tan’s method was often not dissimilar to that of the Impressionists, but while their emphasis was on the optical, his was on the naturalistic.

The works created toward the end of his life refl ect his influence by the emerging Modernist movement. For example, the painting Stormy Day, which portrays a green slope leading up to a cluster of cottages, overshadowed by a menacing grey cloud, shows his departure from strictly realist depictions toward more abstract and emotive expression. In many ways, Levitan’s work is the visual counterpart to Chekhov’s literary compositions.

There are hints of Levitan in Chekhov’s snapshots of quotidian existence and his elegies to the Russian countryside, most notably in his short stories. Both of these artists have a simple understated style, which nevertheless conveys great emotional depth.

Levitan’s life was a series of tragedies: his mother died when he was fifteen and two years later he was orphaned.

As Jews they were confined to living in the Pale of Settlement, Levitan himself exiled from Moscow because he was an “unbaptized Jew”.

He died at the age of thirty-nine of a severe heart-related disease. Some critics believe these misfortunes had an impact on Levitan’s evolution as an artist. The restricted environs of the Pale meant that he often depicted vast expanses and epic panoramas. Towards the end of his short life, his works increasingly contained light, a sign of his internal peace and tranquillity.

Poetry Corner To appear in Poetry Corner, email a poem (at most 20 lines long) to culture@cherwell.org.

Absent

And in the blank moments of the day There’s a polarized absence Like a sun’s imprint Unbearably blue behind closed eyes, A missing essence, An empty mould of you in clay.

You’ve left a little indent On the corner of my ways

Andrew McLean

Somerville College

The Cherwell Review We’re looking for contributions to our inaugural literary supplement, The Cherwell Review, with the theme ‘Tradition’.

Entries may be in a variety of formats: reviews, criticism, interviews, art, photography and creative writing.

The deadline for submissions has been extended til Monday of 6th week . To find out more email review@cherwell.org.

Top Pick

Tuesday

Wednesday

Wednesday - Saturday

Thursday

Matisse Live from Tate Modern Phoenix Picturehouse, 7.30pm

Drenge The O2 Academy

Parade Keble O’Reilly Theatre

Electra New College Cloisters

This unique exhibition at the Tate brings together a dazzling array of 120 Matisse pieces from around the world, beamed to the big screen. For anyone who’s thought about seeing it in London but bowed out because of the cost, this is a great opportunity to enjoy an intimate tour of this unique exhibiton from the Director and Broadcaster, of the museum in the cosy comfort of the Phoenix.

Fresh from winning ‘Best Band’ at the NME awards, brothers Eoin and Rory Loveless have the world at their feet. Oxford crowds have enjoyed their breathlessly energetic live shows at Gathering 2013 and supporting Peace late last year at the O2. Now they return for their own headline tour. Come along and expect crowdsurfi ng, chaos, screaming and a lot of sweat. One not to miss.

Tony Award-winning musical Parade dramatizes the 1913 trial of a Jewish factory manager, accused and convicted of murdering a thirteen-year-old employee. The resulting trial revives over 50 years of supressed Southern pain. This production stars Oxford’s 11th biggest BNOC, Tam Guobadia.

Following the “homoerotic blood-fest” of last year’s’ Bacchae, New College presents Euripides’ Electra, starring Poppy Rimmington-Pounder and James Chance.

Performances run from Thursday to Saturday; head down and see how many nonClassicists you can spot in the audience.

Picks of the Week

26 | Arts & Books

Cherwell | 30.05.14

Martin Brown: the cartoonist who shaped a children’s classic Xin Fan meets the Horrible Histories illustrator to talk about cartooning past and present

W

hen calling to mind the Horrible Histories series – described by publishers Scholastic as their “crown jewels” – readers will often namecheck Terry Deary, who wrote them. Yet how much text could you quote? Or, do you see immediately the loud, vibrant illustrations of Martin Brown? His rumbustious characters are the skin of the memory, the faces of the Horrible History beloved of many impish childhoods.

I put this to him after one of his lively workshops at the Oxford Literary Festival. (I had occupied an awkward constituency in the audience between amused parent and restless eight-year-old.) You’re basically Horrible Histories, I said. Anyone else drawing the books wouldn’t be quite the same. “That’s very kind of you to say,” replied Brown, “but I wasn’t the only illustrator!”

This modesty is characteristic of Brown, who is usually tucked up in Dorset with his wife and daughters, in stark contrast to partner-incrime Deary, who periodically frequents the broadsheet interview circuit. Just a few months ago, I was convinced he was living in Australia.

Not so. He’s been around since 1989, an appropriately historic year by all accounts. Brown’s first step on the ladder was a Scholastic series titled Coping With – teachers, parents, and so on – for which Brown and the author, Peter Corey, put together histories on each subject. “We liked it so much, we asked: could we do a Coping With History? The editors tapped their noses and said, ‘Hold that thought. Something’s come through I think you’d be interested in.’”

Terry Deary had sent in a manuscript.

Thus, a partnership was ordained – “a perfect symbiotic relationship”, declares Brown. But with Deary in Durham, they don’t get much facetime. No dinners at Terry’s? “There would be if we were a tad closer. I’d like to see him

out – illustrators, strip cartoons, and, most intriguing of all, American editorial cartoonists, names like Ron Cobb and Pulitzer recipient Jeff MacNelly, father of the Shoe comic.

Perhaps the editorial cartoonist’s mantle appeals, given his heroes? Like fellow children’s illustrator Chris Riddell, who has gone from carving dragons and monsters on the page to carving up George Osborne in the Observer.

“Jealous? Oh, absolutely,” says Brown emphatically. “Editorial cartooning is the pinnacle of the art. I grew up looking at Australian and American editorial cartoonists, books and

“

more often, socially,” he laughs, “but we get along brilliantly.”

Brown spent his Melbourne childhood “constantly doodling”. He laments complacency though, and “very nearly failed” in sixth form; having intended to enter graphic design, he started training as an art teacher instead. But he didn’t even finish that, scuttling after three years to be a dogsbody in ABC’s television studio. At no point, however, did he ever drop his pencil: always experimenting, always drawing.

Brown’s craft found a home, but only after upping sticks and ending up in London. He worked at Harrods (“I’d draw the customers and stick them up where they couldn’t see them”) before landing a job at London Graphics, which delivered art supplies to practically everyone of note in the publishing world. All of

a sudden, he was at the heart of the business, with pretty much every phone number of every potential employer in the country on his desk.

His itinerant streak resurged. “I thought one day, ‘now or never’: I quit, called myself a cartoonist, stocked myself up with as many numbers and names I could remember, and started phoning people.”

Brown’s visual style is distinctive: all huge goggling eyes and big squidgy noses dressed up with exquisite historical precision; precision that he used to get from children’s non-fiction sections of libraries and, these days, from Google Images. He still nurses a soft spot for titles like The Vicious Vikings and The Savage Stone Age (“for once I could relax a bit about the costumes”). The jokes are impressively, effortlessly witty. There’s a wide set of influences, it turns

You immediately see the loud vibrant illustrations of Martin Brown books of just stunning stuff. To be able to both produce such beautiful pieces of artwork, and include just that clever little twist or dig… it’s genius.”

The ten-year-old in me reluctantly anticipates the end of the hour, but insists on one last act. Awkwardly, I push forward a natty blue exercise book. It’s an imitation Horrible Histories I drew in primary school, one of many inspired by his illustrations. He picks it up and flicks through it. “Well, I love these,” he murmurs brightly, “They’re charming.” He might be lying, but that hardly mattered. I had fully reverted from interviewer to child. “Will you sign it?” I ask, rather sheepishly. Of course he would. “But it’s usually the author who signs his own book,” quips Brown.

Review: The Obsidian Poplar

Loading Sabhbh Curran reads an anthology of students’ works the Canon W Cherwell calls for new additions to the literary establishment

E

veryone knows 1984. Even more people know Animal Farm. Indeed these two works of George Orwell’s are so famous that some of his other novels tend to be neglected. This is especially true of Burmese Days, Orwell’s forgotten masterpiece.

Modelled upon, and largely shaped by, Orwell’s experience in the Indian Imperial Police Force in Burma from 1922-7, Burmese Days charts the decline of the Indian Raj as the forces of corruption, nationalism and overt racism rip apart the white community of Katha and polarise native society. The story revolves around the white population of the town and, particularly, the lonely, partially disfigured timber merchant John Flory. It is a stinging and insightful condemnation of the British Empire.

Burmese Days exposes the flaws, hypocrisies and evils of the British Empire to such an extent that, upon publication in 1934, “some old Burma hands” argued Or-

well had “rather let the side down”. The British drink, pimp and show little but contempt for Burmese culture, its vibrancy juxtaposed with the stale atmosphere of the European club which the British patronise. Attempts to have an Indian member inducted meet with violent resistance; they treat the club as a haven away from the ‘natives’ and have no wish to admit one.

This is the point of perhaps greatest interest in this novel. Everyone is flawed. John Flory, despite valorising the native culture, is spineless, showing great reluctance to stand up for his friend Dr Veraswami. He falls under the spell of Elizabeth. When disgraced he shoots himself. And, ironically, Flory is the best of the Europeans. The others are appalling, either the most abhorrent racists, rapists or boring and characterless.

This novel is so impressive both because it is a fantastic, ably told story, and also because it presents an honest, and disturbing, picture of the British Empire. A white man can blind a child and escape justice. Burmese lives are treated with contempt. This awful behaviour is best highlighted with reference to Flory. He claims to love Burmese culture but still expects to be treated with undeserved respect. He treats his mistress appallingly. The only decent man in this novel, Dr Veraswami, is ruined by U Po Kyin on the most tenuous, fake charges (which counted for a lot in the British Empire). He is relegated to a backwater where he still hopefully seeks to extract an interesting conversation from a drunken Scottish electrician.

ritten by current students and edited by recent graduate Euan Davidson, these ten skilfully crafted short stories interrogate alienation and loss. Except this collection is also so much more than that. These stories take you from the classical realm of the Gods to a dystopian other-world of upgraded, plastic surgery bodies, stopping off in a close-knit Mennonite community of forced marriages and unexplained deaths along the way.

And that is why the short-story format (a genre that tends to be neglected) works so well here. It is certainly useful if you have got a hectic schedule busy Oxford lives and all that – to be able to dip in and out without committing to a hefty novel.

So, amid this (largely strong) collection are some incredibly artfully fashioned characters and narratives.

In particular, the sensitively crafted dialogue of Logic Lane, which mediates carefully between the spoken and the suppressed, sketches a delicate portrait of a man glimpsing the possibilities of life beyond his own isolation. And the ending is great, but I won’t ruin it.

The Obsidian Poplar (a retelling of the Persephone Myth), I also thought stood out. Apart from having a pretty magnificent title, the

story has a sensation-driven narrative with some really beautiful descriptions as Persephone struggles between desire and obligation. The interplay between ancient and modern also gives this take on the classic myth far more personal implications – she is a young woman attempting to escape the shackles of family and abuse.

Aside from these personal favourites, the unsettling and confrontational world of Reflections in a Mechanical Eye (which has really stayed in my mind), and the poignant closing moment of the final story, The Ballroom, were also highlights.

And this is even more impressive given that this is the first commercial publication for any of these student authors.

For anyone looking for the chance for their own stories to reach eyes beyond those at Oxford, publications like The Obsidian Poplar provide not only the possibility of reaching a wider audience, but also the chance to start earning from your writing.

For budding author and casual reader alike, this collection is an easy-to-dip-into read that has several moments of real insight and sensitivity. And actually, it has some seriously funny bits too.

Film & TV | 27

30.05.14 | Cherwell

Where have all the monsters gone?

Ollie Johnson tells us why less is more when it comes to monster movies

Landmarks of cinema There Will Be Blood (2007) The film that got Daniel Day-Lewis his second Best Actor Oscar is a mesmerising character study

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eading reviews of Godzilla, it’s strange that one of the most frequently repeated criticisms is the lack of the hulking near-dinosaur himself. The apparent scarcity of the eponymous monster has been taken everywhere as an indictment of the film; people paid good money to see the whacking huge lizard smash stuff, so it’s only right if he’s on screen the whole time. But actually, what the director Gareth Edwards has done is to understand perfectly that monster movies are not really about the monsters at all. It’s all about the anticipation.

E vidently, if you were expecting a lot of Godzilla, you clearly hadn’t seen the trailer.

It strayed far from the Michael Bay school of thought that a trailer has to be an extended montage of stuff exploding and being crushed, or being crushed and then exploding. Instead, there were fleeting, teasing glimpses of the beast, vistas of abandoned cars, smouldering wreckages, ominously imposing footprints, and distant, echoing roars. What Edwards was doing was highlighting what it is that is great about the monster movie genre; rarely is the monster

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Monster movies are not really about the monsters at all. It’s all about the anticipation. itself the most enjoyable part, instead focussing on the tension, the excitement and anticipation of the big reveal.

If you look back at the catalogue of famous monster movies, they’re all about the buildup. Edwards is in fact partly copying the original Godzilla from 1954, which had equally little of the lizard himself. Although partly artistically motivated, it was largely reptilefree due to the cost of his scenes, even though back then it was just a man in a latex suit hitting cardboard models of skyscrapers. Nonetheless, it proved from early on in cinema’s history that less really was more when it came to monsters.

Ridley Scott’s original Alien also had a trailer that featured none of the iconic xenomorphs themselves. And arguably the

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best bits of Alien, the ones that everyone remembers and rightly praises for their brilliant maintenance of tension, are the ones without the aliens. It’s all about the wailing, haunting emergency siren, the bleeps on the motion detectors in the vents, the screams and the unexpected shock of that scene. And what makes Alien so remarkable is that even with a science fiction creation as brilliant as H. R. Giger’s xenomorph, it is in their absence that the truly fantastic moments occur.

If you need an example of when more really is not more, look no further than Guillermo Del Toro’s abortive Pacific Rim. Instead of following the example of monster movies past, Del Toro flipped the genre on its head, pointlessly having the monsters on screen most of the time. That is why Pacific Rim was dreadful – there was neither care not attention placed on the introduction of the monsters and so you just didn’t care. Watching a massive robot hit an alien giant with a cargo ship just isn’t entertaining if it’s done in an abrupt and thoughtless manner. I realize few people would label Pacific Rim a classic monster movie, but it is an example of a recent and extravagant failed attempt.

All the great monster movies pride themselves on the tension and expectation. Jaws is fantastic because of its infamous use of sound and passing glimpses. Indeed, Jaws is not really about the giant shark at all rather than the omnipresent dread the shark represents.

Cloverfield even based its entire premise around the importance of anticipation, using the Blair Witch-esque found footage formula to make the lack of monsters more realistic. Even in something like Jurassic Park, though probably closer to action film, that nail-bitingly brilliant scene in the kitchen with the raptors actually features very little dinosaur.

That doesn’t mean the monsters are valueless. In fact, there’s probably nothing worse than a grand build-up only to be greeted with some mediocre, CGI jellyfish-lion hybrid. But the anticipation is what makes monster movies so unique and thrilling breathlessly waiting to see, in all its glory, that monstrosity that has been thus far only indirectly present.

So, don’t worry if your viewing of Godzilla is light on lizard action. Far from being a reason to criticise the film, it’s a sign that Edwards hasn’t forgotten what made monster movies great to begin with.

On cherwell.org this week...

his week, we reviewed The Two Faces of Januar y, the latest thriller starring Viggo Mortensen, Kirsten Dunst and Oscar Isaac, fresh from his starring role in the last Coen brothers’ film. Set in 1962, the film effectively reproduces the aesthetic elegance of the era; chic continental cafes, suave outfits and the sparkling marble of the monuments in its Egypt-

set story. All there central performances were found to be great, with the tension of the implied love-triangle being effectively maintained throughout the length of the movie. Arrestingly beautiful and focussed on the fantastic chemistry of the lead actors, The Two Faces of Januar y got five stars and thus is well worth a trip to the cinema to see.

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asily one of the most important films of the 2000s, There Will Be Blood cemented director Paul Thomas-Anderson’s reputation as one of Hollywood’s greatest modern talents.

Following the rise of the indomitable oil baron Daniel Plainview, it charts the ruthless sacrifices he makes on his and other people’s behalf to reach the success he so lusts after. Beyond the gorgeous cinematography and set design, Day-Lewis’ remarkably mercurial performance is what makes the film so engrossing and affective. Never before has a film made a scene centred around the extended metaphor of drinking a milkshake so unnerving or enthralling.

Review: X-Men: Days of Future Past

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was seven when the first X-Men film came out. Nonetheless, I remember being distinctly disappointed by it and its sequel, X2, in much the same way the Tobey Maguireera Spiderman franchise left me with a vague distaste for superhero movies that the The Amazing Spider-Man reboot has only recently dispelled. Superhero films were movies where characters weren’t people with ideas or emotions, but icons with iconic abilities; Spiderman never stopped to think about how he felt about Mary-Jane, he just duly rescued her from the Green Goblin.

Batman wasn’t the clandestine anti-hero he should have been – he was little more than advanced military technology coupled with a husky voice. Even when Marvel tried to get under the skin of a single character in the form of 2009’s dire Origins: Wolverine, the result was insipid and cliché-ridden. It was understandable, then, that I sat down to watch X-Men: Days of Future Past with slight apprehension that would soon be dispelled.

It was clear from the start that Future Past was much more visually engaging than its predecessors. Azurine duo Mystique and Beast benefit in particular from ten years’ worth of CGI advances, whilst action sequences are gripping and stylish but used sparingly and kept thankfully brief.

The fusion of old and new casts is seamless; thanks to a plot concerning time travel, Future Past presents the likes of accomplished veterans Sirs Patrick Stewart and Ian McKellen alongside the youthful talent of ever-reliable Ellen Page and a captivating Jennifer Lawrence. Michael Fassbender and James McAvoy represent welcome additions too, providing much-needed charisma alongside a stony Wolverine, and the film benefits from the inspired casting of Peter Dinklage – better-known as Tyrion Lannister in Game of Thrones – as military scientist Bolivar Trask.

Ass for the plot itself, there’s a little left to be desired.

T i m e travel is

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always a minefield in cinema and Future Past suffers from moments of confusion. There is some recapping of the previous film but it’s probably worth rewatching First Class again before this instalment. That said, the alternate history of the 1970s allows the writers a rich seam of possibility which they exploit to its full extent, with scenes that see Mystique in action in Saigon and Magneto implicated in the assassination of JFK. It is only really at the final hurdle that Future Past falls, thanks to a muddled ending, overly drawn-out in that way that the final scenes of so many major blockbusters now are.

The question remains, however, of whether the superhero genre has finally matured from mere action vehicles into deeper studies of what it means to be human, or not. This has always been X-Men’s trump, and Fassbender’s Magneto in particular displays a wonderful ethical ambiguity that begs comparison with the conflicted morality of Andrew Garfield’s Peter Parker in Future Past’s fellow release The Amazing Spider-Man 2.

Just as the latter wrestles with the consequences of his continued involvement with Gwen Stacey and the danger he puts her in as Spider-Man, so the former asks whether he can bring himself to kill someone who trusts him deeply in order to safeguard his entire race.

Both characters have numerous scenes in their respective films in which their internal struggle is explored.

It has been suggested that this is a trickle-down effect from the shadesof-grey antihero morality central to the Bronze Age of Comic Books (i.e. the “darker” comics of the late 80s and 90s – think Watchmen). Whatever the reason, it’s to Days of Future Past’s credit that it manages to be fast-paced, humorous and t houg ht- pr ovoking, all at once.

Tom Barrie

Cherwell recommends...

V shows about vampires and the supernatural may well have passed their sell-by date, but that doesn’t mean production companies can’t keep churning them out. The latest twist on the formula comes from Sky Atlantic and is called Penny Dreadful. Even if the premise is as unoriginal as it can be, it at least has a promising cast, including Eva Green, Timothy Dalton and

Billie Piper. Set in Victorian London, and attempting to meld together the origin stories of classic horror characters, the opening episode featured Dr. Frankenstein. Coming from Sky, it will undoubtedly be big-budget and impressive-looking and it has generally been received quite well, with Sam Mendes as a producer. If you need a weekly horrorsupernatural fi x, then this could be for you.

28 | Music

Cherwell | 30.05.14

Going deep with Dirty Beaches

Rushabh Haria talks to Alex Hungtai of Dirty Beaches about leather jackets and living life

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Hercules and Love Affair, The Feast of the Broken Heart

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ake this album out of my computer’s shitty speakers and put it on in Babylove Club on full blast, pronto. Hercules and Love Affair’s new album, The Feast of the Broken Heart, may be a bit of a mouthful, but it’s one of the best toe-tapping provokers we’ve had all year, with irresistible beats, and the right measure of disco deliciousness to be effortlessly enjoyable without stinking of the cheese floor.

Oh, and it’s accompanied by some banging animated looping pictures of broken hearts, cocktails and pink boom-boxes that look like they’ve been drawn by Nick Sharratt for The Story of Tracy Beaker TV show.

The Feast of the Broken Heart opens on ‘Hercules Theme 2014’ with a heavily vocoded voice spelling out the letters of the artist, getting wound up in a mess of layers over the steady, synthy bass beat. A falsetto, nasal voice cuts in to repeat the words in full. It’s followed by a message to “let yourself be” on ‘My Offence (feat. Krystle Warren)’, and the sound of games whistles as bananas fly from the screen animations. Piano loops intermingle with synth riffs, vocal top layers, and consistent, tinny beats..

Hercules and Love Affair, AKA New York DJ Andy Butler, has created something that’s not technically brilliant, but bloody good fun.

Lucy Thompson

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Cher Lloyd, Sorry I’m Late

t’s the moment we’ve all been waiting for.

The Streisand of our generation, the great Cher Lloyd, has released a follow up to 2011’s Sticks + Stones.

Cher Lloyd would probably be a better fit for the Where Are They Now? column than a weekly review. Her career was launched off the back of coming fourth on X Factor and a track called ‘Swagger Jagger’ that had literally everything sonic and visual that it is possible to despise in ‘10s music.

But on Sorry I’m Late, Lloyd has tried to reinvent herself by swapping ship-sinking bling and ASDA for black blazers and Sainsbury’s Taste The Difference (it’s not quite Waitrose).

Opener ‘Just Be Mine’ features a wailing “uh huh ahh” that is so autotuned it sounds like a pink Dell laptop having an orgasm, but it’s undeniably catchy, in a sort of middle-of-the-road, I-really-don’t-want-to-like-this-but-I’m-findingmyself-singing-along kind of way.

Unfortunately, any enthusiasm, enjoyment or belief one might have originally felt for the album has well and truly died by track three, ‘I Wish (feat. T.I)’. Ballad ‘Sirens’ is a wishy washy attempt to create something heartfelt, but the dull and predictable melody make you switch off within the first minute.

Sorry I’m Late may be a definite step up from Sticks + Stones, but I can’t help thinking that ASDA swag Lloyd was more entertaining.

Helen Thomas

lex Zhang Hungtai handles every aspect of his music project Dirty Beaches: performance, production and even PR. Born in Taiwan and raised in Canada, he has spent the past decade releasing a mixture of EPs and full length albums. “The best cities are where you can hone your craft and work minimum hours per week, Iike Montreal, Berlin, and Lisbon” he says, commenting on his own wanderlust.

“They are all different and bring forth different qualities in me as a person”. Having joined his first band at 19, he started Dirty Beaches “probably around age 25, after I quit working in real estate”, although it only became a full-time job in 2011 when he was able to support himself.

“It requires a lot of backing, and dedication and passion, to sustain itself as an operation,” he says, regarding his decision to run an entirely independent operation. “But I’m not in a hurry, I’m slowly learning the ins and outs of the business, but there are many things waiting to be learned.” Dirty Beaches’ signature sound is quite unlike anything else. The characteristic combination of loops, samples, distortion and guitar riffs is an experience in itself. And it is an experience which is meticulously crafted – “A lot of research goes into the albums,” he laughs, “anything from film to dance, personal experience, literature, life and love”, but his live performances are “like a revolving evolution that change with time,and have to be sharpened and maintained”, while the records “a frozen documentation much like the idea of a time capsule that is set in stone”.

His influences are similarly drawn from a diverse pool – “Films and auteurs have the capability of creating a world in which viewers can dive into. I find that aspect very inspiring.”

Profound indeed for a musician who has a reputation for not caring about perceptions or

pretence. “It’s as important as you let it be,” he says when I ask him about the importance of image. “It’s man made, so it can be sculpted. It’s important to remember that when constructing one’s image to remain human. Aesthetics are just like fashion, they are the surface. They all expire over time. Not everyone looks good in a leather jacket, it’s the man that makes the jacket. A snake might shed its skin, but it wil always be a snake.”

As well as his sophistic insights into essence over superficiality, he doesn’t mind other artists imitating him. “They say imitation is the best form of flattery: what other people do is not my business, and I have no right to judge them, as I’ve imitated other artists before me.”

“Where is the hope?”

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ince forming in Maghull, Liverpool in 1978, the New Wave veterans have had their fair share of ups and downs, including the death of their drummer Pete de Freitas in 1988. They are now reduced to just two members of their original line up: lead singer Ian McCulloch and guitarist Will Sergeant. The eponymous opening track of Meteorites atmospherically opens with the line “Hope, where is the hope in me?”. Reflection and melancholy appears to be the premise to the album, as demonstrated by its opening song, but the band’s characteristic brand of new wave rock and neo-psychadellica (empitomised in their 1984 hit “The Killing Moon”) is also evident.

“Constantinople” avoids what could have been a patronising, cliched guitar riff with eastern influences by adopting the characteristic heavy feedback and trance-like reverb. “It’s so Cold in Constantinople” - a theme seems to

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There is a darker presence below the surface of the songs be forming here, and is perhaps a little to intense for what should, in some ways, a more enthusiastic return to the studio for the first time since 2009. Fortunately, the run of self pity is brought to an end with “This Is A Breakdown” where a key change and the repeated lyrics “I don’t think so” ensure that the the rest of the album takes a more positive direction.

“Holy Moses”, a track basking in anthemic glory, introduces a more biblical theme which is developed more closely by “Grapes Upon The Vine”: “The devil in you, The devil’s in you” is

Echo & The Bunnymen

Meteorites

However, regarding DRM, he says that while he wants things to be as open as possible, there is a fine line, citing a fan who had crossed the line by “improving” one of his tracks.

It is his nonchalance, genuine character, and honesty about his past and future which mark him out. “For people like us sent away as kids overseas, the idea of a country can seem severely distorted, outdated even. I’m learning more and more of my own culture and history as I grow. I hope to make films one day, or just write film scores as a living, to be a loving husband and father, son, brother, friend to the people I love, and to support them. I’m not too greedy, that’s all I want in life.”

Rushabh Haria

Where are they now?

Cherwell delves into the later careers of one-hit-wonders so you don’t have to

bittersweetly juxtaposed with upbeat strings.

Things take a dramatic turn with “Lovers on the Run” and its acoustic melodies treading the boundary between hope and regret, while “Burn It Down” and “Explosions” have the air of being straight out of the britpop era. The crooning “No survivors will be found” in “Market Town” instead employs lyrics to convey the same characteristically melancholic themes with relative simplicity. The closing track, “New Horizons” goes full circle and is more slow and reflective while sounding altogether more hopeful.

The layered vocals consisting of a low growl and higher pitches along with more upbeat orchestral tones present an ethereal darker presence below the surface of the songs. And this makes it all the more profound.

Gail Trelins

So you may well ask, who are these orange, topless, tools with the peroxide hair and shitty ink? The answer, dear friends, is Crazy Town, of ‘Butterfly’ fame. “Come my lady, come come ma lady, you ma butterfwy, suga, babey.” Now you remember! Yep, it’s them, that hideous offspring of the ‘rapmetal’ genre, a time in the 2000s everyone would rather forget. Crazy Town, formed by Bret Mazur and Seth Binzer, shot to fame after supporting the Red Hot Chilli Peppers on tour. However, they split up after the largely unsuccessful release of their second album, Darkhorse.

The band announced in 2007 that they were working on a new album creatively entitled ‘Crazy Town is Back’, but alas, the record has never come to fruition. 2010 saw the band play SRH FEST 2010, where they debuted new track ‘Come Inside’. They didn’t specify to where.

One might have hoped this would be the end of Crazy Town, but in 2013 they announced a new album, The Brimstone Sluggers, was in the works, and released a free download single called ‘Lemonface’. Perhaps ‘Orangeface’ would have been a more apt title.

30.05.14 | Cherwell

Stage | 29

Review: Timon of Athens

The Edinburgh Fringe in Oxford

Zoe Slater reflects on immersion in a difficult Shakespeare play

Georgina Wilson takes a look at the best Edinburgh has to offer

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his week the Magdalen Players attempted to rescue Timon of Athens from obscurity in an atmospheric late-night performance. A collaboration between Shakespeare and Thomas Middleton, the play is riddled with difficulties from textual tension between the two dramatists – from archetypal, one dimensional characters to digressive subplots.

It follows the fortunes of overly generous patron of the arts, Timon, in Ancient Greece, as his excess and indulgence leads to misanthropy and debt. The setting in the shadowy, dark wood-panelled hall reflects the “different breed of tragedy” which would have taken place before the birth of theatres in the homes of the aristocracy. The trend among recent performances to shift the play to modern settings like the City or Wall Street is reversed, evoking the medieval morality play in a “parable-like simplicity”.

The choice to stage the play inside the hall is the most successful aspect of the performance.

On entering the candle-lit room each audience member receives a glass of prosecco from the circulating waiters and gradually takes their seats around the centrally situated stage. The ambiguously named “banquet food” for which you fork out an extra £4.50 turns out to be a strange mix of After Eights, baklava, olives, and pineapples (though perhaps these latter are more for decoration since there is no way to eat them). The players mingle amongst the audience, completely collapsing the fourth wall.

They wear an eclectic mixture of clothing from velvet cloaks to 1920s dresses. When it does begin, I miss the first few lines amongst the chattering of the audience and as a result struggle to follow the first scene. However, Dina Tsesarsky gives an interesting performance as the painter conveying an almost manic artistry as she smudges the murky portrait with her hands.

Director Gabriel Rolfe makes full use of the magnificent space, having Timon silhouetted by the projector in a captivating entrance. The players take their positions at the head table in a raucous feast scene which will form a triad structure in the play. In the reversal of Timon’s fortunes he invites the same shallow and flattering guests to dine at an empty table after they have refused to help him, and in the closing moments of the play we are given a glimpse of the first scene repeating itself, effectively portraying the cyclical nature of human folly.

Tom Dowling, who had given a strong performance up until Timon’s break down, takes “raging” too much to heart. He attempts to portray madness by shouting for twenty minutes, and as a result much of his monologue is drowned out. It’s intense to watch, but ultimately misses something of the play.

The director recognised that there is an “uncertainty, or even impossibility, of the play’s own dramatic potential” and despite the fact that this is a novel experience, there is an “uncertainty” about whether they carry it off.

Review: Man of Mode

Libby Wicks feels this production did have its highs and lows

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he Man of Mode is perhaps not the most well-known play that Oxford has ever seen, but George Etherege’s Restoration comedy is a pleasing two and a half hours of theatre nonetheless, particularly so in the setting of Univ’s Master’s Garden, where a lovely little marquee had been set up to keep the chill from getting to the audience members too much. Even more charming is the change of era from the 17th century to the 1920s, and the costume department (if there is such a thing for a garden play) must be commended on a delightful array of outfits which fit the bill perfectly.

This is not to say that the production is entirely faultless, however. A bit of jitteriness with the script, and a tendency to overact and read the lines without much mind towards meaning does both cloud comprehension and

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make attention waver. Some of the “bit parts” are a touch weak, and the transitions between scenes, despite the good use which was made of the many entrances to the marquee, could be a bit clunky.

On a brighter note, the star of the show was without doubt Matthew Robson, playing the dandy Sir Fopling Flutter. His prancing movements and general cavorting including a spritely jig and a tremendous burst of hamsinging, were a joy, and the scenes were invigorated by his presence. Another brilliant comic turn came in the form of Old Bellair, played by Joseph Prentice, whose obsession with his son’s love interest and sudden attempts to hide it were captured superbly.

The Man of Mode did have a capable and rather large cast, headed by the reprobate ladies’ man Dorimant (Will Yeldham), but another performance which stood out from the rest was Imogen Hamilton-Jones as Harriet Woodville, the young lady who becomes the match for Yeldham’s character in the final scene. Her accent, demeanour and posture were all entirely convincing, and she was perhaps the easiest member of the cast to place in a 1920s setting in terms of engaging with the sense of her lines and pairing them with a well thought out portrayal of character.

All in all, the performance was not without its lukewarm lows, but as the flappers settled after a well-executed and suitably cheering Charleston to close the show, it was with a warm heart, and not just a warm pair of feet, with which the audience left the cosy marquee.

It was a successfully amusing evening’s entertainment, and in its role as a light-hearted garden play, The Man of Mode did its job well.

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There’s so much on it’s just impossible to decide what to see!” is the ubiquitous cry of street-pacing students at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival. Wearily turning page after page of the great tome which announces shows and plays and dances and comedy of all shapes and sizes, it’s no wonder that so many new-comers to the festival end up spending more time whittling down the options than actually sitting in a seat and experiencing fantastic productions.

The answer? Look at reviewing websites before you go. Often written by students for students, these websites (Edfringereview, Broadway Baby, Threeweeks reviews and the like) make fun and light-hearted reading whether or not you’re ever going to see the show in question. Even better, get a taste of the shows in question before you set off on the great journey northwards, and find out whether you have a particular penchant for modern drama, quirky comedy, or funky jazzbands.

Every year hoards of enthused dramatists, directors, comedians, singers, writers, instrumentalists and dancers from Oxford head up to Edinburgh to dazzle audiences with their various displays of talent. This year, we’re lucky enough to get a sneak preview in the Oxford Pick of the Fringe event, taking place on Friday 6th June in Wadham’s Moser Theatre. Various

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Get a taste of the shows in question before you set off on the great journey northwards groups of Oxford students will be giving a taste of their summer productions, and the evening will re-enact the relaxed and informal setting of an Edinburgh Fringe Festival venue.

It may not surprise you to learn that some of the most famous Oxford names regularly go up to the Festival for a tremendously successful run – without giving too much away, a much-loved all-female a cappella group whose name bears a remarkable similarity to that of the heroine of Disney musical Beauty and the Beast will be featuring both in Edinburgh and in the Oxford Pick of the Fringe Event.

Tom Lambert St Benet’s

Sometimes, though, the best part of the Fringe Festival is stumbling across something new. Diving off the high street down an untrodden alley-way and into a deceptively empty-looking bar, you may well find something fresh, funny or interesting which the great bible of all Edinburgh shows encourages you to pass over in a mass of other unheard of production teams and bizarre, abstract showtitles.

Pick of the Fringe will certainly be opening its doors to these hidden gems, although in the cosy world of Oxford productions perhaps nothing is ever really ever unheard of. You might never have encountered, for example, the name of the comedy team Pot Kettle, who will be at Edinburgh for the whole of the festival and also at Oxford’s Pick of the Fringe event – though the main reason for their anonymity is probably that the group have recently changed their name from Buttless Chaps, whose show “Some Funny” was awarded a five star review in Cherwell and whose reputation precedes them.

Pot Kettle won’t be performing exactly the same show as Buttless Chaps, but we’re excited to see a slice of a show of equal quality which will eventually be played to hundreds of people in August in Just the Tonic, winner of “Best Small Venue of the Edinburgh Fringe Festival” in 2009.

The writing team of Pot Kettle includes the ever-successful Will Hislop and Barney Fishwick, who were behind last year’s Oxford Revue Edinburgh Fringe show the Oxford Panto as well as the Hilary Revue.

“No Strings” is the name of the hour-long show in its entirety: made up of a vast array of small sketches of which we’ll be seeing a small but perfectly-formed selection on the 6th June. If you like Mitchell and Webb, and Harry and Paul, then you’ll most certainly love this ridiculously successful bunch. If, on the other hand, your Oxford degree or a childhood of five-channel television limited your access to popular culture, but you know you love philosophy then that’s okay too: I’m informed that the rousing finalé of the show is entitled “The German Musical”, and invokes one performer’s attempt to tackle injustice through the medium of musical theatre.

There’s something for everyone in the array of acts that will be on show in Wadham at the end of 6th week. Inspired by this, you’ll perhaps march up to Edinburgh to support the Oxford shows, knowing they’re definitely worth the trip. Or possibly you’ll never make it there but have a great night in Oxford. Either way, Pick of the Fringe is a five-star event.

Know Your Thesp Tom Lambert is a big name in Oxford theatre. Indeed he’s a big name in Oxford in general. Rumour even has it he only narrowly missed out on a slot in Cherwell’s Top 40...

This all-round good egg was most recently seen as Lockwood in that production of The History Boys, the latest in a string of Playhouse roles, following on from Arcadia and Another Country, in which he played yet another small boy. He even took a show up to the Edinburgh Fringe Festival last year – Alice in Wonderland.

What a boy/lad/man.

30 | Sport

Cherwell | 30.05.14

Financial Fair Play: an impending clash looms for football club owners Jamie Farmer looks into the recent calls for the introduction ofFinancial Fair Play rules into football

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obby Zamora’s goal on Saturday may have just caused a massive headache for the Football League. QPR’s assent into the big time once again may cause the start of a battle between owners and the footballing authorities over sustainable finance. The sight of Tony Fernandes jumping on the back of Joey Barton could have been inspired by the fact that he may have just escaped the clutches of Football League punishment. In contravention of the Financial Fair Play regulations, QPR posted losses of £65.4m in 2012-13, with a wage bill of £68m.

This year, despite loaning many of their more expensive players out to Europe, finances are not projected to look much better; they are not expected to have reached the Football League’s target of reducing losses to £8m. The Football League’s sanctions to non-conforming and frivolously spending clubs include a transfer ban and a fine for ambitious overspending clubs.

But they are not enforceable for clubs entering the Premier League, since these are under a different jurisdiction who have refused to enforce the Football League’s punishment. Potentially, this could lead to the Football League attempting to enforce the fine through the courts.

UEFA and all professional leagues in England have created FFP rules in an attempt to cut spending. In the Premier League, clubs are not permitted to have

losses over £105m (£15m if no equity injected into the clubs), otherwise they face a points deduction. In the Championship clubs have to reduce losses season-on-season to a maximum of £3m by 2015. Clubs in Europe cannot post more than £45m losses over 3 years.

Recently Manchester City and Paris St Germain have been hit with a €60m fine and a restriction on the number of players they can enter into next year’s Champions League competition. Indeed, Manchester City has

been accused by some of trying to circumvent FFP rules through a lucrative £400m contract over ten years with Etihad, who happen to be owned by Sheikh Khalifa bin Zayed Al Nahyan, the half-brother of Man City owner Sheikh Mansour.

Many have questioned the validity of enforcing financial regulations in football. A court case dealt with by the European Commission has already defeated a legal challenge to the rules in May 2014- where a Belgian agent attempted to argue that the rules restricted investment, dampened wages and locked-in the power of the big clubs. The court ruled there was no case to answer. In spite of this, Tony Fernandes has already vowed to fight any fines given to QPR. The rules were first devised in 2012, in response to the unsustainable levels of spending in professional football. The modern game has seen inflation of transfer fees and wages entering into billions of pounds. In 2013, the world’s most expensive player, Gareth Bale, cost Real Madrid a staggering £85.3m. The rise of clubs such as Manchester City, where an Abu Dhabi-based consortium bought the club in 2008 and proceeded to make a loss of £93m in 2008-09 and £121m in 2009-10, has caused concerns over the competitiveness of the sport. The Premier League table looks like a list of the top spending clubs on players’ wages.

In response to such concerns, it has been pointed out that, without teams like Manchester City, Chelsea and PGS entering the fray, the top competitions of European Football would be dominated by the same teams like Manchester United and Real Madrid. From this angle, the regulations protect the dominant teams and prevent a challenge to the status quo.

Yet, arguments that football needs to be-

come sustainable, before the bubble bursts do have force. High levels of spending and debt can only remain when the sport stays popular and attracts worldwide audiences. There is no

“

The scene could well get very messy, very quickly guarantee that such levels of interest will continue into the indefinite future. What then for clubs like Manchester United, who incurred £265 debt against its assets when the Glazer family acquired a majority shareholding in 2005?

Certain clubs attempting to enter the bigtime have also fallen foul when the investment ran out. Portsmouth is a good example of this.

They entered administration and dropped from the Premier League to league 2 in 4 years after a report of £58m debt in 2012. Other clubs, such as Chester City and Darlington have been liquidated, despite long histories in the Football League.

It will be interesting to see who takes the hit: the clubs, or the players’ wages. Professional sport is one of the only industries to have continued to prosper throughout the financial crisis, but can it continue to do so?

It is clear something has to be done about the frivolous spending by all clubs across the football world, before the bubble does eventually burst. FFP is a means of doing so which is facing strong resistance from many clubs, who stand to lose out.

As a result, be prepared for a clash fairly soon between owners and the football authorities. The scene could well get very messy, very quickly.

Tables and Results BUCS Men’s Cricket Premier B South

BUCS Women’s Tennis Midlands 1A

BUCS Women’s Lacrosse Premier South

BUCS Women’s Fencing Premier South

#

Team

P

RR

Pts

#

Team

P

GD

Pts

#

Team

P

GD

Pts

#

Team

P

GD

Pts

1

Bristol 1

4

2.099

12

1

Loughborough 2

9

74

25

1

Cambridge 1

10

82

25

1

Cambridge 1

8

215

21

2

Cardiff Met 1

4

2.184

9

2

Warwick 1

9

72

24

2

Bristol 1

9

35

16

2

Surrey 1

8

9

15

3

Oxford 1

4

-0.589

6

3

Oxford 1

10

8

14

3

Exeter 1

9

43

15

3

Imperial 1

8

-45

12

4

Southampton 1

3

-0.254

3

4

Birmingham 1

10

-40

10

4

Oxford

9

51

15

4

Oxford 1

7

19

9

5

Bath 1

3

-0.571

3

5

Nottingham 2

10

-44

7

5

Bath 1

9

-21

10

5

Cardiff 1

7

-198

0

6

Surrey 1

4

-1.294

3

6

Oxford 2

10

-70

4

6

Cardiff 1

10

-190

-3

BUCS Men’s Cricket Midlands 3A

BUCS Men’s Tennis Premier South

BUCS Men’s Lacrosse Premier South

BUCS Men’s Fencing Premier South

#

Team

P

RR

Pts

#

Team

P

GD

Pts

#

Team

P

GD

Pts

#

Team

P

GD

Pts

1

Nottingham Trent 2

2

2.286

6

1

Bath 1

10

94

30

1

Exeter 1

9

87

24

1

Imperial 1

8

124

24

2

Northampton 1

3

0.364

6

2

Oxford 1

10

-2

16

2

Bristol 1

10

65

24

2

UCL 1

8

85

12

3

Oxford Brookes 2

2

-0.221

3

3

Exeter 1

10

18

16

3

Bath 1

9

21

21

3

Cambridge 1

8

9

12

4

Oxford 2

2

0.78

3

4

Bournemouth 1

10

10

13

4

Oxford

10

-44

9

4

Oxford 1

8

-55

12

5

Anglia Ruskin Camb’ 1

1

-0.289

0

5

LSE 1

10

-12

11

5

Portsmouth 1

10

-48

6

5

Bristol 1

8

-163

0

6

Cranfield 1

2

-3.332

0

6

Cardiff Met 1

10

-108

0

6

Plymouth 1

10

-81

0

30.05.14 | Cherwell

Sporting The Sporting Bio Rock Stars

This week Jamie Farmer takes a look at one of tennis’ most charismatic and brilliant players of the ‘70s and ‘80s John McEnroe Former World No.1 Tennis Player

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ennis has had its fair share of sporting superstars. Famous names like Borg, Federer, Connors and Sampras have thrilled audiences with their skills on the court. Yet none have quite courted such a mix of controversy, skill, and entertainment value as this week’s sporting rock star, John McEnroe.

To understand the impact the young American made upon entering the Tennis scene in 1977, you have to imagine a time when sport was different than it is today. It was a time when sport was more about what was done on the field and not off of it. It was not common to see footballers intimidating and surrounding referees. In the tennis world, competitors like Bjorn Borg and Jimmy Connors simultaneously wowed and charmed audiences with their combination of athleticism and their sporting conduct; both on and off the court. Back then there was less of a celebrity culture associated with sportsman, their private lives were not splashed over the front pages, and they were left alone and were respected athletes.

When American John McEnroe at 18, entered the ATP tour fresh out of Stanford University, things were about to change.

If you fancy a bit of procrastination type “John McEnroe Tennis Tantrums” into Youtube. He was famed for his outbursts, arguing regularly with umpires’ decisions, something audiences had never seen at Wimbledon. The current champion at the time, Borg, was almost the opposite, cool, collected and dubbed the “ice man” by his contempories. McEnroe, however, was nicknamed “superbrat” by the British media.

In 1981 at Wimbledon, he was fined $1,500 for calling an umpire “the pits of the world” in a First Round match. This shocked the typical middle-class tennis audience to the extent that he was booed regularly at matches. His catchphrase, coined in the same tournament, “you cannot be serious” is still replayed today. At a tournament in Stockholm in 1984, he demanded another unfortunate umpire to “answer my question…jerk!” slamming his racquet into a juice cart next to the court, which led to a suspension. His on-court antics led to a fallout with the All England Club. After refusing to give him honorary membership, an honour normally accorded to those who win their first major championship, he refused to attend the traditional champion’s dinner naming the club’s members a bunch of “70-80 year old stiffs”.

Indeed, it is easy to forget that he was an exceptionally gifted tennis player. He was an aggressive performer, but he was also wily, perfecting the style of serve and volley, and managing to serve the ball almost with his back completely turned to his opponents, hiding which direction he would place the ball. Despite the controversy, he was massively successful, ending Borg’s dominance at Wimbledon, winning seven grand slam singles titles, nine grand slam doubles, 77 ATP listed singles titles, and reaching world number one in 1983. His total career earnings to date are $12,000,000. In addition, he still plays on the ATP champion’s tour and is familiar to current television audiences as a co-commentator at Wimbledon.

Sport | 31

Cricket: A Varsity win and a Varsity washout Ethan Fogarty on women’s cricket and last week’s Varsity T20 washout in the Parks

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he Oxford University Cricket Club’s Varsity campaign got off to a wet start on Friday, as the men’s Twenty20 fi xture was abandoned without a ball being bowled. Earlier in the day, the women secured a comprehensive victory against Cambridge, ensuring their dominant run of four straight Twenty20 victories.

The Oxford women’s team put in a dominant performance with both bat and ball to claim victory as the rain held off. Following a strong opening partnership of 28 by the Cambridge openers, good middle overs bowling and sharp catching saw Oxford restrict the Cambridge side to 77 from their 20 overs. Wickets were shared around the six bowlers used by Oxford, but the figures of captain Tina Gough (1-8 off 4 overs) and Ridhi Kashyap (2-10 off 4 overs) were particularly impressive. Oxford chase was comprehensive with a range of clean hitting and clever batting seeing the team chase the target in the thirteenth over. Eleanor Bath batted through the innings with a well-made 29 to see the team to victory, whilst an aggressive innings by wicket-keeper Lucy Stuchfield (31 off 24 balls) was instrumental in the team’s victory. This win marks the fourth successive Twenty20 victory for the women and they will be hoping to continue their good form when they face Cambridge again on June 20 at the Lords Nursery Ground.

Disappointingly for the players, the fans that had come out to watch, and the sponsors in attendance at the men’s, the match was not able to begin. Following a lunch reception for the players and guests, which included former England players and Oxford and Cambridge Blues Vic Marks and Michael Atherton, the rain continued to drizzle. Hopes were raised by news of a 4.30 pitch inspection, resulting in the players from both sides leaving the shelter offered by their changing rooms to partake in some preliminary warm-ups. The sites of Cambridge kicking around a football and the Oxford players throwing a vortex on the field of play, accompanied by the music that had been played throughout the day, appeared en-

couraging for the fans that had sought refuge and beverages in the Rose and Crown pub and sponsors’ tents. They would, however, be left disappointed as the 4.30pm inspection came to the conclusion that was feared by all in attendance. Concerns about the state of the bowler’s run-ups from both the ECB appointed umpires and the ground staff led to captains Gus Kennedy and Tom Elliott agreeing that the match would have to be abandoned. News filtered around the players and fans that had attended, a disappointing way to end an event that had a lot of effort put into it by many people.

The men’s attention will now turn to the 50-over and four-day varieties of the game, in preparation for the Varsity fi xtures later in the summer. The 50-over match will be held at Lord’s Cricket Ground on Friday 20 May, while the First Class four-day fi xture will be held at the Parks from 30 June – 3 July. The Blues still have much cricket in the coming weeks despite examination season being well and truly underway. The team travel to Cardiff this coming Wednesday for their last game of the BUCS season against Cardiff Metropolitan University.

Oxford University’s BUCS campaign has been somewhat mixed, with disappointing losses

to Bristol and Bath while securing dominant victories against Southampton and Surrey. The BUCS season has however provided an opportunity for many to get Blues cricketing experience in the lead up to the varsity matches later this summer. Last week, first year undergraduate Richard O’Grady took the opportunity to bat at the top of the innings scoring a dominant 131 not out, guiding Oxford to victory against Surrey University. O’Grady dominated the Surrey attack despite battling cramps throughout his innings, hitting particularly strongly down the ground. Supported well by Sam Cato (41*) the duo ensured Oxford reached their target with ten overs remaining. Such individual performances are likely to be remembered when varsity selection comes around.

Red ball cricket will now be the focus of the Blues, with the Parks hosting five fi xtures prior to the four-day game which is set to round off the summer.

Next week sees the Marylebone Cricket Club visit the Blues for a three day fi xture, 2-4 June.

The fi xture should provide good preparations for the Varsity match offering, for many, the first chance of the summer to play some longer format cricket.

Swimming the English Channel: an Oxonian’s experience Abby Taylor-Baptie provides an inspiring insight into pushing our own boundaries

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t’s not every day that you have an earnest conversation with another person about the rationality of finding a patch of jellyfish and swimming through it, but this was a topic of great importance last week when I met with Marisa Schubert, a fourth year Oxford medic and aspiring English Channel swimmer.

Of all of the ways to get to France, it’s pretty obvious that swimming is neither the cheapest nor the quickest way, and I write from experience in saying that catching the ferry is definitely an easier way to get across. I swum the channel nearly four years ago, and nor-

mally when I think about my swim, I struggle to remember exactly why I wanted to do it. I remember the pain in my shoulders for days and days afterwards. I remember everything I ate and drank tasting of salt for at least a week after I finished. I remember sporadic parts of the swim. The feeling of nausea from following the bobbing light on my support boat for the several hours that I swam in the dark. I remember the all-pervading cold of the water and the feeling of cramp in parts of my body that I didn’t know it was possible to get cramp in, during the second half of the swim. I remember being tormented by the tides, the excitement of being able to clearly see the coast of France after about eight hours of swimming turning into frustration as I was pushed backwards for the next six hours. I remember complete numbness as I crawled onto the beach at Cap Blanc Nez, and spending the whole journey back being sick over the side of the boat. But I often struggle to remember why I thought it would be a good idea to attempt one of the hardest swims in the world. However, speaking to Marisa reminded me of some of the excitement and anticipation that I felt before my swim, and challenged me to reflect on the importance of testing our limits as human beings, whether that is swimming for over fourteen hours in cold, jellyfish infested water, or in another way.

For Marisa, the dream of swimming across the English Channel started aged eleven, when she read the incredibly inspiring autobiography of Lynne Cox, an open water swimmer who once held the world record for the fastest time to make the swim, and who also, as if the English Channel wasn’t cold enough, has swam in in the waters of Antarctica. At this point, at-

tempting the swim was a dream for Marisa, but not something that she thought would genuinely be possible for her to do. However, over the next few years this dream has slowly evolved into a reality as she discovered her love of cold water and started to realise that attempting the crossing may be more than just a dream, but a real possibility. I can remember always being the swimmer who inched into the sea slowly, moaning about how cold it was and often being dunked by the people I trained with, so the love of cold water is something that I don’t really understand. However the realisation that making the swim might be a real possibility and the excitement, combined with sporadic feelings of ‘why on earth am I doing this?’ is something that I can relate to well.

And I think in different ways, we can all relate to this.

One of the things driving Marisa to attempt the swim is for the sense of fulfilment in seeing how far she can push herself physically and mentally. For me, knowing that I swam the channel reminds me that I am capable of coping with other challenges and of pushing through the barriers that my own mind can put up, telling me that my potential is somehow limited. The day I swam the channel was the longest, most painful day of my life, but speaking to Marisa about her forthcoming swim has reminded me of why I wanted to swim to France and why I am so glad that I did. I’m not advocating that everyone gets in the sea and starts training to swim the Channel, but I think that it is important that every now and again we consider the dreams that we have, and whether they are perhaps more achievable than we believe.

Sport

INSIDE: Jamie Farmer on John McEnroe Ethan Fogarty on cricket

OUDC Cuppers introduces 190 students to the world of Dancesport Alexandra Damgaard and Daniel Claff review the Dancesport Cuppers competition

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chant begins from one corner of Iffley Sport Centre as athletes in waistcoats and dresses return from the dance floor to the spectating area.

As the exhausted Quickstep dancers quickly grab a drink of water, two rival chants begin elsewhere around the main floor in support of Trinity and Teddy Hall. Finally, the compere – competitive dancesport’s version of a master of ceremonies – booms over the PA system the numbers of the competitors who have made the fourth round of the Jive. The chants are replaced by localised cheers as the successful couples take the floor.

For a moment, an anxious silence settles amongst the over 300 spectators and competitors. The atmosphere is still and tense in anticipation. Finally, the bouncing beats of Christina Aguilera’s “Candyman” come over the loud-speakers. Immediately, the colleges resume their raucous yelling as the couples take hold and fly into a flurry of kicks and flicks.

All this commotion is a result of Oxford University Dancesport Club’s annual Cuppers competition. Following on from Cherwell Sport’s preview of the Dancesport Cuppers competition in Issue 4 this term, we bring you the review. Over 200 participants from 25 colleges took part in the biggest dance-off of the year.

In the competition, each college creates teams of four couples, each competing in either the Waltz, Quickstep, Cha Cha, or Jive. Each couple must be made up of at least one beginner and the teaching format is similar to that of Strictly Come Dancing. Experienced dancers teach beginners as much as they can starting anything between 3 weeks and 3 days before the event.

Couples score points based on how far they advance in the competition. These count towards two categories - a team match and an overall college score. This year’s overall winners, Trinity College, recruited 40 dancers creating five full teams. By a 2.5 point margin, they beat Keble College, who fielded a team of 30 dancers. The best four-couple team went to Keble.

To get ahead in the game, some participants attended classes in Ballroom and Latin hosted throughout the year by the dancesport club, OUDC. The club’s Ballroom and Latin classes are part of a broader social and competitive dancing framework that includes the full-Blue competitive team, a beginner’s team, a competitive Rock ‘n’ Roll team, the Rueda Komrades, and a

variety of social dancing classes in each discipline.

The competitive Ballroom and Latin main and beginners teams, along with the Rock ‘n’ Roll squad went head to head with Cambridge at the Varsity Match one week prior to Cuppers, in addition to five other competitions across the country in Michaelmas and Hilary terms.

The highlight of the year is the Inter-Varsity Dancesport Competition at the Blackpool Winter Gardens Ballroom, where approximately 800 people from university teams across the entire country compete.

Many of the experienced dancers who compete for OUDC were on hand at Cuppers to captain the 25 college teams and coach the new,

inexperienced dancers to victory. A lot of these now experienced dancers started their dancesport career after competing in a previous Cuppers event and then subsequently joined the Beginners Team.

Cherwell Sport’s very own editor attended the event out of curiosity and stayed for the whole competition. The level of skill involved with ballroom dancing throughout the university was very high, but was complemented nicely by an array of beginners getting involved.

Dancesport is arguably one of the fastest growing sports in Oxford, with a growing number of participants, and an increasing turnout from supporters each year. The Cuppers competition is definitely something worth

getting involved in for dancers of all levels, and particularly beginners who want to learn the basics and perform them in a relatively short space of time. It was great to see the surprise and delight on the faces of the beginners that managed to progress through the rounds, with some going on to make the final.

The commentary team were also entertaining, and always on the ball, providing jokes, which were sometimes at the expense of the dancers, to keep the crowd entertained in the short intervals.

Even if only to spectate, make sure you get down to Iffley Road for the competition next year, as it really is a pleasure to watch and a great day out for both dancers and audience!

Cherwell Sport’s guide to Summer Eights: the height of Oxford rowing Jonny Turnbull takes a look at the largest rowing event to be held on the Isis this year

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nto Friday and with it comes the third day of Summer Eights 2014. Now at the mid-point of the competition, Cherwell Sport is taking a look at all of the rises and falls that the college crews have seen so far.

On day one at the top of the Men’s divisions, Pembroke rowed over and managed to retain their position at Head of the River, whilst Oriel bumped Christ Church to go up to second.

Unfortunately for Pembroke, they could only retain their place at the top for one day.

Oriel, who went into the competition with high expectations, bumped them to take the top spot. Christ Church rowed over to stay in third position.

The top of the Women’s division saw an uneventful first day, with all three boats (St. John’s, Wadham and Teddy Hall) retaining their positions and rowing over. Day two brought more action though, with Wadham managing to bump St. John’s to take the Headship.

To the surprise of the rowing fanatics, Keble M1 failed to bump despite their decorated crew of international and Olympic rowers, including Tim Foster of the Sydney 2000 GB Gold Medal winning four.

This year’s Blues stroke rower, and next year’s OUBC President, Constantine Louloudis, pulled out of the competition through injury, but his crew Trinity M1 showed their strength in depth, managing to bump without their star man.

Day one saw lots of bumps in division two for both the Men and Women, with Jesus W1 bumping St. Catz to take third place. They managed to retain this on day two by rowing over and are looking to advance in the second half of the competition.

Jesus M1 kept the historic Turl Street rivalry alive by managing to bump their college rivals, Exeter, to go into 9th place in division two. Members of the Jesus M1 crew still maintain that they are the most fashionable Men’s first boat

to grace the Isis, wearing matching sun glasses and green arm sleeves, a level of accessorisation not matched by any other crew in the competition. Rumour has it that a form of headwear is coming out for the rest of the competition. In other news, in the Men’s 7th division, Keble M5 managed to snap the bow off their boat, whilst Cherwell editor Max Long’s boat Magdalen M4

has so far been bumped twice.

The second half of the competition is set to be exciting with real competition between the crews in the top divisions. Can Wadham’s Women defend their Headship? Can Christ Church catch Pembroke? Can Trinity continue their climb up division one? Cherwell Sport will bring you the latest from Summer Eights.