7th Week Trinity Term 2022

7th Week

June 10th 2022

Vol. 295 No. 5

Will Rusty be at the Cherwell soirée?

Find out on p. 17

Independent since 1920

(Endowment) Size Matters: College disparities examined Magdalen College, the third richest college, provides the fourth cheapest average accommodation costs amongst Oxford colleges. By contrast, Lady Margaret Hall is the second poorest college and equally the second most expensive college accommodation, following Pembroke.

Furthermore, inflation is set to see rent prices increase further, amplifying the gaps between colleges. St Catherine’s College has proposed an increase of 11.8% in rent and hall prices, in line with the average 9% inflation rate of the UK. Currently, the termly rent at Pembroke, the most expensive college, varies between £1153 and £2245 termly, with an additional £432 annual utility charge. The college has just announced its price increases for the next academic year, with an 8.68% increase on rent, and a 22.5% increase in utility charges.

However, as the seventh-poorest college by net assets, Pembroke often has had little choice. In 2002, a tape obtained by the Sunday Times caught a senior fellow, Reverend John Platt, admitting that the college offered places for money because they were ‘poor as shit’. ► Continued on Page 2

Izzie Alexandrou reports.

A Cherwell investigation reveals the vast disparities in rent prices across Oxford colleges, with a 50% difference in modal weekly rent between Keble, the cheapest college, and Pembroke, the most expensive. Whilst a Pembroke undergraduate could expect to pay £232.74, the most common weekly charge for a student at Keble was £155.61.

Whilst an Oxford student may expect annual living costs to be lower due to the 8 week terms, the affordability of city life is highly dependent on college. Cherwell finds that, based on average weekly rent for short lease periods, wealthier colleges tended to charge the lowest amount of rent, with the large disparities in college wealth dramatically affecting student life.

Amongst the 10 wealthiest colleges, assessed by net assets, seven of these were among the colleges ranking the lowest average rent, including St Johns, Magdalen, and Queens. By contrast, among the 10 least wealthy colleges, five of these fall within the highest 10 average rent prices, with colleges such as Pembroke, Mansfield, and Lady Margaret Hall at the top of the list.

Outcry over Law Foundation Year cancellation Maggie Wilcox reports.

Conflicting accounts from LMH and an applicant over the Law Foundation Year cancellation has led to public outcry.

A Facebook post from Monday, June 6 revealed that an applicant to the Lady Margaret Hall Law Foundation Year was refused a place due to staffing changes. The author of the post, Sahil Thapa, a second-year St Catz law student, had been mentoring the applicant. LMH claims to “legitimate expectations in students of the chance to try and secure a world class education”; the subsequent failure of LMH to follow through on their commitments incited Thapa to write the post.

LMH denies that law tutor resignations played a role in the suspension of this Foundation Year course. In an email to Cherwell, a spokesperson for the college wrote that law tutors “did not feel that any of those short-listed could be supported to the required level to progress to the undergraduate law degree” and for this reason the programme would not run.

However, LMH did not tell the applicant concerned of this reasoning until June 6, after which some number of emails had been exchanged between Foundation Year staff, college tutors and members of the Law Faculty.

The official decision email from LMH, sent to the applicant on April 22 states that this decision of their unsuccessful application was “no reflection on [their] ability or potential”.

Rather, the choice to suspend law as a subject was due to “an unexpected change of staffing” around their Law tutor availability.

Following this email, the applicant sought further clarification from staff involved in the Foundation Year and LMH in general. During these interactions, they were never given an alternative reason for them not being offered a place and were assured that a committee would give her case its deserving consideration. During this time in early May the applicant also began to talk to current Oxford students and seek out alternative methods of instruction from postgraduate tutors at other colleges.

The Foundation Year wrote to the applicant on May 31st that such arrangements would not be feasible and their time would be best spent revising for their A-Levels and focusing

on other university offers. In this email, an administrator for the Foundation Year suggested that the applicant may have misunderstood some conversations she had with other college staff, including the Principal. They also made clear that no change to the admissions decision could be made, despite a lengthy process of consultation.

At that time, the applicant contacted the Law Faculty and discussed the cancellation of the Foundation Year. After being directed to another member of staff, the applicant then received a call on June 6 informing them that had the cancellation of the Foundation year been solely a LMH staffing issue, then the Law Faculty could have helped. Apparently, this was not the case and LMH was instead suspending the program because it could not find any suitable candidates. This interaction is the first point in time in which the academic ability of candidates came up, according to the applicant’s email and call history.

Since Monday June 6, this incident has become a large issue on Oxford students’ social media feeds, especially Facebook. On Oxfess, an Oxford-geared gossip and discussion platform based on Facebook, multiple posts were put

up. They led to a more detailed discussion on this rejection. An online petition to reinstate the Law Foundation Year for 2022-23 was also created by Thapa.

It remains unlikely that the applicant will end up receiving a place. The reasoning behind why the Foundation Year course in Law was cancelled also remains unclear.

When appraoched for comment, LMH told Cherwell: “LMH law tutors interviewed a small number of Law candidates for a potential place on the Foundation Year 2022/23. In their academic judgement they did not feel that any of those short-listed could be supported to the required level to progress to the undergraduate law degree. For that reason, there will be no Foundation Year in Law in the coming academic year. At no point were any offers made to any of the applicants. LMH communicated this decision to candidates as soon as possible and regrets any disappointment caused.

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News

What’s inside?

4. Tortoise Race at Corpus Fair

10. In conversation with Farrah Storr

14. Booksmart and the art of growing up

5. Cherwell News: Year in Review

15. In conversation with Francesca Tacchi

8. A state school’s response to Emma Duncan

13. Fashion shoots

19. Behind the scenes of...

Cherpse!

23. The secret history of Oxford punting

9. Elizabeth the Last: What next for the monarchy?

Continued from page 1 The most common pricing band for on-site accommodation currently stands at £1776, but from next year will be upped to £2010.13 (excluding the utility charge). The rooms in the highest price brackets will reach up to £43.02 a night, with an eye watering total of £7614.54 a year.

St John’s, on the other hand, famously the wealthiest Oxford college, has managed to keep the cost of living down. Rent prices at St Johns are some of the cheapest across Oxford – the prices range from £987.74 to £1161.74 per term, with an additional £232 termly charge for services.

Among the disparities between colleges, this highlights the starkest one. There is over a 71% difference between the highest price bands of St Johns, the wealthiest, and Pembroke, the seventh poorest.

This “college lottery” can vastly affect student life and academic performance. A second-year student from Pembroke told Cherwell: “At Pembroke, I am constantly reluctant to spend much extra money in the knowledge that my rent and obligatory (very expensive) hall meal costs have already subsumed much of my student loan.

This can be stressful because it means extensively planning money-saving options for food and other necessities I need to buy in Oxford, as well as extras like social events, in an intense environment that doesn’t give much free time for such planning.”

Pembroke told Cherwell: “We are aware of the difficulties facing many of our students … and will be launching an enhanced student financial support fund next week in response to these challenges.”

The college disparities do not just affect the extent of support that students receive for housing. A Magdalen undergraduate told Cherwell about the abundance of financial support available: “From the first day on arriving at Magdalen I was struck by the generosity of the financial support offer. This began with a universal book grant of £150, an explanation of the incredibly generous travel grant and student support fund, as well as individual support. After experiencing health problems in my first year, the college has paid for taxis from doctors’ appointments that have finished in the evenings in London without me even asking, and even covered the cost of other private healthcare.”

The disparities in cost-of-living expenses

are further exacerbated by utility charges or the cost of eating in hall. Pembroke, Mansfield and Harris Manchester are amongst colleges in which hall pre-payment is compulsory. In Pembroke for example, a termly £344.76 charge is taken out for first year for undergraduates which provides only one meal token a day.

This translates into over £1000 over the course of the year, with no ability for credit to be carried over to the following term for tokens which have not been redeemed.

There is also evidence to suggest that colleges with the lowest cost of living also admit fewer state school students. Queens, a college nearly 12 times wealthier than Mansfield, has a state school intake of 63.6%, whereas Mansfield has

a whopping 94% of students coming from state schools for entry in 2022.

Mansfield accommodation stands at a uniform fee of £1599 a term, plus a compulsory £140 meal deposit. On the contrary, Queens college charges a standard rate of £1396 per term - a compulsory charge of 20% more per term.

A first year undergraduate from Mansfield told Cherwell: “I am really concerned by the amount of colleges that have announced significant rent hikes and worry what me and my friends will do if this happens at Mansfield. We have already noticed increased difficulty affording living in Oxford, especially throughout this term. Money worries are a constant source of additional and unnecessary stress for us.”

It has been previously mentioned to us by staff that the reason why, despite taking the most percentage of state school students and a higher proportion of students from lower socioeconomic backgrounds, Mansfield have higher than average rents is because richer colleges that subsidise them dictate as conditions of funding that rent must be charged at such high rates.”

Christ Church, the second wealthiest college, has the second-lowest percentage of state school admissions, with the figure standing at 55.9%. Whilst the average rent at Christ Church is not within the lowest third, the financial help available is much more generous than the average college. For students with a household income under £16,000, rent is decreased by 50%, whereas students from a household income under £42,875 have their rent decreased by 25%.

With a 25% reduction in average rent prices, this leaves Christ Church with by far the cheapest rent of any Oxford colleges.

A rent reduction scheme such as the one in Christ Church would largely benefit students from lower income backgrounds, who more often than not will come from state schools.

This indicates how the unequal distribution of wealth across colleges affects the extent to which colleges may provide their students with financial support.

A recent Cherwell report highlighted the link between the wealth of colleges and the performance of students in exams, highlighted in the Norrington Table. The five highest performing Oxford colleges are also some of the oldest and wealthiest, whereas the colleges at the bottom of the table are considered some of the poorer colleges.

President of the SU, Anvee Bhutani, told Cherwell: “The University does operate JRAM (joint resource allocation mechanism) as a great equaliser to redistribute college wealth but far greater care can be given to ensuring that basic living provisions and costs are similar across colleges.”

Despite the reallocation, it is clear that the college affects every aspect of the student experience. For some, college means access to a rich history, generous financial support and highlevel academic support. For others, limited college resources mean rent and hall are just another barrier to an accessible University.

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News Two more Oxford colleges support ending NDAs Elena Rotzokou reports on the recent pledges by Linacre College and Keble College.

CW: sexual assault Linacre College and Keble College are the latest Oxford colleges to have pledge to end the use of non-disclosure agreements in cases of sexual harassment, bullying, and other forms of misconduct.

The University of Oxford did not sign the pledge until April of this year, a fact which was reported on by Cherwell.

The first college to support ending the practice was Lady Margaret Hall, in the aftermath of a Times investigation that revealed the college had used a non-disclosure agreement on a student who had been assaulted, reportedly in an attempt to silence her. Lady Margaret Hall had drawn up a written “no contact agreement” between the student and her alleged attacker, which outlined that the student “must not make any information about the allegations, the police investigation, or LMH safeguarding arrangements available to any form of public media.” A breach of this clause would “result in expulsion from LMH.” The campaign to urge colleges to sign the pledge has been led by It Happens Here Oxford, a student group supporting survivors of sexual violence. The campaigners have received testimonies from students across different colleges who are under non-disclosure agreements.

In light of Linacre and Keble’s pledge, Oxford West and Abingdon MP Layla Moran officially congratulated student campaigners during the Queen’s Speech debate in Parliament this May. She expressed the following: “I am very pleased to see that the hard work of student campaigners has begun to pay dividends, with two further colleges signing this pledge.”

She continued: “The use of non-disclosure agreements in cases of sexual assault is immoral and unnecessary and I am glad Keble and Linacre College have joined Lady Margaret Hall in committing to end the practice.

I will continue to campaign for other Oxford Colleges to do so too.”

She elaborated on the pledge’s implications for those who have survived sexual violence, highlighting the relevance of her own work: “I firmly believe that signing this pledge will help students feel safer at university, but it is just a first step in supporting survivors of sexual violence and improving support services. I am, of course, always ready to hear from and assist any students in my constituency who are affected by these issues, and I encourage them to get in touch with me.”

Home Secretary Priti Patel supported Moran’s speech and agreed to meet and go over testimonies by students who are under nondisclosure agreements that have been culled

by It Happens Here Oxford.

Moran has additionally reached out to all Oxford colleges, requesting that they sign up to the pledge.

Echoing Moran’s optimistic sentiment, Ffion Samuels, a representative of It Happens Here, said: “I am very pleased that Linacre and Keble College have listened to our calls to sign the pledge. Students across the University of Oxford are standing in solidarity with survivors of sexual violence and asking their colleges to do more.”

“For the survivors we have spoken to, signing a non-disclosure agreement or clause adds significant emotional distress,” Samuels continued. “Survivors should never be prevented from speaking out about their experiences. It Happens Here will continue to stand up for survivors and to put pressure on the University to do more.”

There remain 36 Oxford colleges that have not yet signed the pledge. The pledge was cocreated by the Can’t Buy My Silence campaign and Michelle Donelan, the Minister for Further and Higher Education in England. It has been signed by several other UK universities, including many in the Russell Group.

Image Credit: Lady Rose MacClare / CC BY-SA 4.0

Queen’s Birthday Honours recognise service On the web from Vice-Chancellor and Oxford colleagues Zelensky speaks to Oxford students

Adam Wilson reports on the government’s announcement.

Ukrainian president Volodymyr Zelensky spoke to students of the University of Oxford over Zoom as part of an event where he addressed members of eight universities.

The Vice-Chancellor of Oxford, Professor Louise Richardson, has been appointed Dame Commander of the Order of the British Empire in the 2022 Queen’s Birthday Honours. Richardson, who in January 2023 will leave her role at the conclusion of a seven-year term, is recognised for her services to higher education, having served as the University’s chief executive since being appointed to the position in 2016.

The first woman to serve in the role, she was also the first woman to be appointed Principal and Vice-Chancellor of the University of St Andrews and has overseen a large increase in the number of undergraduates from ethnic minority backgrounds being admitted to Oxford. Her term has also seen the University take a leading role in the development of a COVID-19 vaccine alongside the company AstraZeneca.

The latest Birthday Honours, announced on 1 June to coincide with the Platinum Jubilee, saw Richardson selected to join a limited number of 845 appointees to the second rung of the Most Excellent Order of the British Empire.

Others awarded the same honour this year include Professor Fiona Powrie FRS, Professor of Musculoskeletal Sciences and head of the Kennedy Institute of Rheumatology at Oxford; and Professor Sally Mapstone, who succeeded Richardson as Principal and Vice-Chancellor at St Andrews and formerly served as Pro-ViceChancellor at Oxford.

Elsewhere, Professor Peter Bruce, Wolfson Professor of Materials, has been made a Knight

Charlie Hancock

Cherwell Town Hall: Charlie Mackintosh and Anvee Bhutani Cherwell speaks with the Union presidential candidates about the highs and lows of their Union careers — and which musical artist they can’t get enough of.

Cherwell News

Bachelor for services to science and innovation.

A Fellow, Vice-President and Physical Secretary of the Royal Society, he is also a founder of the Faraday Institution, the United Kingdom’s centrepiece battery research programme.

Others honoured include Professor Constantin Coussios FREng of Magdalen, who becomes an OBE for his services to biomedical engineering. The director of the Institute of Biomedical Engineering and the University’s first Statutory Chair in the same subject, he is the founder of a number of different laboratories and institutes.

He has previously also been awarded the Silver Medal of the Royal Academy of Engineering for his work in translating novel medical technologies into clinical practice.

Two members of the University are also recognised for their services during the COVID-19 pandemic: Professor Charlotte Deane of the Department of Statistics and Dr Nikita Ved of the Department of Physiology, Anatomy and Genetics, both become MBEs. Professor Deane, a Fellow at St Anne’s, leads the Oxford Protein Informatics Group, while Dr Ved is honoured for her role in vaccine outreach work with the 1928 Institute, a not-for-profit organisation designed to research and represent British Indians as a platform for dialogue for the diaspora.

The Birthday Honours are an annual tradition that date back at least 1860, awarded every year since with only a handful of exceptions.

Awarded by the Queen, the system is overseen by the Cabinet Office Honours and Appointments Secretariat; separate honours systems exist for many Commonwealth realms, including Canada, Australia, and New Zealand.

The Birthday Honours form a major part of the British honours system, alongside another set of appointments announced every year on New Year’s Day; additional, one-off occasions for honours include Resignation Honours, marking the resignation of a Prime Minister, or Coronation Honours, upon the accession of a monarch. This year’s British list includes 1,134 names.

The 2022 Birthday Honours mark another year in which Oxford academics have been recognised in large numbers, following seven appointments in the 2022 New Year’s Honours and fourteen in the 2021 Birthday Honours. It also takes the number of University members honoured for services during the COVID-19 pandemic to 11, with many recognised for their roles in the development of the AstraZeneca COVID-19 vaccine and other contributions to pandemic research.

Image Credit: Kai Bossom

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News

“Anger and frustration” as Benet’s buildings set to be vacated by October Anya Biletsky reports on the mood inside the Hall.

St Benet’s Hall announced via an email to students on 2nd June that the Hall’s buildings are to be vacated by October 2022.

The email, from the St Benet’s Hall Academic Office, stated that, “Following a meeting of the Ampleforth Abbey Trust (AAT) on Monday, the Chair of AAT has written to confirm the Trust’s plan to place the two properties on the open market. The Hall will vacate them before 7th October 2022.”

Since 2016, the Hall has accommodated graduate and undergraduate students, tutors and deans in two buildings; the main building at 38 St. Giles, which the Hall has possessed under Ampleforth Abbey since 1922, and the building at 11 Norham Gardens, which was acquired in 2015. Both sites have facilities including a library, common room areas and tutors’ offices.

As stated in The Oxford Student, the loss of access to these facilities “does not confirm that there will be no St. Benet’s Hall next year” but the announcement “makes it unlikely that students can be enrolled in an institution without these provisions.”

The announcement to place the buildings on the open market comes after the University Council’s decision not to renew the Hall’s license as a Permanent Private Hall (PPH) on 16th May. In an email sent to students two weeks ago, the University Deputy Academic Registrar informed that “the University has decided to start looking for alternative college places for students (to come into effect from October 2022).” Students have not as yet been informed

about the specific allocations of colleges.

Cherwell spoke to JCR President Julian Danker, who said that “it is important that the reallocation process takes all students’ needs and individual situations into account”, and so he would “prefer the University to allocate students as adequately as possible” to a college.

He acknowledged the uncertainty of this process for students, stating that “it is unfortunate that we have not yet learnt what colleges we will go to next year as we are anxious to integrate as soon as possible, but, given that the situation had been very fluid over the past few weeks, this is understandable.”

When asked about the students’ response to the announcement about the vacation of the Hall’s buildings, Danker said the news was “devastating” to hear. He went on to say that “St Benet’s is one of the most unique places in Oxford, and we are conscious that a precious institution that we are a part of is being lost.

“As a JCR, we also stand in solidarity with the staff at St Benet’s, who have always worked with incredible personal dedication so that students succeed, and who are now faced with losing their main source of income.”

Cherwell also spoke to current members of the St Benet’s Undergraduate body about their reaction to the news and the provisions the Hall has put in place for the next academic year.

A second-year student expressed that he is not worried about his living situation next year, having already signed a housing agreement to live out, like a large majority of his year group.

The student also voiced disappointment at the imminent loss of the “small community” of St Benet’s, and described the “sense of mourning” among the student body. A finalist similarly admitted that “the knowledge that we will never be able to return to the hall in future years is deeply depressing”.

Lincoln´s Tortilla the tortoise munches to victory at packedout Corpus Fair Georgie Cutmore reports on the return of the much-loved race.

Over £7000 was raised for the DEC Ukraine Humanitarian Appeal at Corpus Christi’s Tortoise Fair at the end of May. Running and munching their way to victory in the races were Lincoln’s tortoise, Tortilla, and Balliol’s human tortoise, Gabriel.

After a Covid-induced hiatus, the Tortoise Fair was back bigger and better than ever this year. More than 1500 people flocked to Merton St on Sunday 29 May to attend it, with queues stretching back to Christ Church´s back gate. While the highlight of the day was undoubtedly the inter-college tortoise race, live music performances from the likes of DJ Daniel Dipper and all-star band the Poet Laureates also graced the sold-out event.

There was a BBQ, ice-cream and other food stalls, as well as a range of activities and entertainment, including face painting, glitter tattoos and sponging the JCR. One Corpus Christi student highlighted the relaxed atmosphere of the day, noting that the college had been decorated with paintings of tortoises by Corpus Christi students, and praising the range and quality of the food and entertainment offered.

The main event took place at 3pm. The tor-

toises were placed in the centre of a circle of lettuce, with the aim to make their way out of this vegetable racetrack. Attendees watched with bated breath as the various colleges’ Tortoise Keepers set their tortoises off. Some members of the crowd even took to standing on chairs to get a better look at the race, with one spectator expressing surprise at how dramatic the race was. Tension built as old and young tortoises faced off, some moving surprisingly quickly and others looking to recover from slow starts.

Scooping victory was Lincoln’s Tortilla.

He’s a new addition to the college, joining just before the pandemic, but at the youthful age of 10, it’s no surprise that he was among the more sprightly competitors.

Matt Foster, Tortoise Keeper at Lincoln, told us that while Tortilla may be ten years old, he “has the maturity of a toddler” and is a “certified ladies’ man”. On winning the race, Tortilla basked in his triumph, running over to various people and happily taking selfies with adoring fans. As Foster put it: “Some might say he really came out of his shell!” The pair celebrated with a pint and a head of lettuce.

The human tortoise race had been similarly hotly contested. Competitors ran between lines of lettuce leaves, eating as quickly as they could, before making their way to the main attraction: a half-head of lettuce. First to the centre and to a crunchy victory was Balliol’s Gabriel Le Dain.

Cherwell spoke to Gabriel Le Dain, whose

A first year student quickly remarked on “stressful” feelings generated by the lack of specificity she considered the Hall was providing with regard to the plans in place for students for the next academic year. She criticised the fact that students have received at most “four emails over a six month period”, which she thought remained vague about the situation.

The student was sorry that this lack of communication has resulted in information being spread mainly through gossip, which has only reinforced feelings of “anger and frustration” among students.

She indicated that she felt that the Hall was failing to fully prioritise the students’ wellbeing due to this lack of clarity in communication.

She nonetheless acknowledged the easy access to support services provided by the Hall for those particularly struggling in this “very official title is JCR Comrade Tortoise, on his experience as champion of this year’s race. He recalled his path to success in the September JCR elections: “To prove myself worthy of Tortoisehood I had to eat a head of lettuce at the hustings to demonstrate my prowess”.

While he admitted that he “hadn’t practised lettuce-eating recently”, he did reveal

chaotic” time.

Another second-year student said she considered the Hall has been as “transparent” with the students as it could be, communicating with the students as and when information has become available.

There was a common sentiment among the students Cherwell spoke to of the close-knit nature of the student body at St. Benet’s. The Hall usually has enrolled around 84 Undergraduates and 32 Graduates, making it one of the smallest of the Oxford Colleges or PPHs. A second-year student described the student body of the Hall as “a bit like a family”, lamenting having to lose a “lovely community” she is “so comfortable” with for her final year. She finished by emphasising that she is “not sad to lose the buildings, but the community” which St. Benet’s afforded her and her peers.

Image Credit: Chensiyuan / CC BY SA 4.0 his secret to success: pre-race preparation.

He remembered being sent lettuce seeds by his aunt last summer in order to “get a head start”, following this up with the advice that “what matters is embracing the mindset of being a tortoise”.

Image

credit:

Rebecca Roodt

NEWS

2021-22: A YEAR IN REVIEW From society scandals to feline feuds, the Cherwell team have spent the past year reporting on the many affairs of Oxford University and its students. Here is just a handful of those stories...

OCTOBER: Clubbing Boycott Oxford joined a number of universities across the UK in having a ‘Big Night In’, where students of all genders were encouraged to boycott nightclubs. The Oxford protest took place on Wednesday the 27th of October, protesting the pervasiveness of spiking.

Cherwell’s special correspondent made sure students were informed about the quality of water in Oxford’s rivers.

Linacre College will change its name to Thao College following a donation from a Vietnamese billionaire.

OCTOBER: SPC Mosley Money The University of Oxford’s acceptance of donations from the Alexander Mosley Charitable Trust came under fire, with St. Peter’s College in particular becoming the focus of fierce criticism. Alexander Mosley was notable as the grandson of British Fascist Oswald Mosley.

DECEMBER: Richardson Leaves as VC Professor Louise Richardson announced that she was set to leave Oxford after a seven year term as the Vice-Chancellor. She will leave the role in December of 2022, assuming a new position as President of the Carnegie Corporation of New York.

Oxford won the men’s boat race!

A newly discovered essay JANUARY: ‘Oxford’s Lost College’ found under Brasenose

by Boris Johnson revealed The construction of accommodation in Brasenose’ Frewin Annexe yielded quite the find: St Mary’s College existed for only one hundred and six years, he argued for the return archaeological between 1435 and 1541 on what is now New Inn Hall Street. of the Parthenon Marbles as Union President.

FEBRUARY: Christ Church Dean Dispute Settled Where to start? After a four-year conflict that saw two internal tribunals, police investigations, student protests, and an intervention from the University’s chancellor, the Dean of Christ Church, Martyn Percy, agreed to step down. Cherwell published a series of documents related to the dispite: The Christ Church Papers.

Simpkin and Walter battled for libary domination in the biggest feud since Montague vs Capulet.

Cherwell discovered Exeter students have an average of 17.8 sexual partners, CompSci students have an average of 0.5, and Keble students are “crap in bed”.

FEBRUARY: Russia Invades Ukraine As the news broke that Russian forces were invading Ukraine, crowds of students, academics and members of the Ukrainian community in Oxford gathered on the Radcliffe square to protest the war and show solidarity with Ukraine. They sung the anthem. Cherwell scooped how Teddy Hall and Saïd Business School were receiving funding from Putin’s hockey buddy.

MARCH: Sexual Misconduct NDAs An investigation by the Times revealed the extensive usage of non-disclosure agreements (NDAs) under former Principal and Guardian Editor-in-Chief Alan Rusbridger. Used on survivors in multiple cases of sexual violence, the investigation led to uproar amongst students and staff. In response, the college became one of the first Oxbridge institutions to ban their use.

Want to break the next big story? Email cherwellnews@gmail.com with a tip or to find out how to get invovled.

Applicatins for news editor open soon. Email cherwelleditor@gmail.com for more information.

MAY: St Benet’s Hall to Close St Benet’s Hall announced on the 16th of May via its official mailing list that the University Council has decided not to renew the Hall’s license as a Permanent Private Hall (PPH), raising the possibility of permanent closure for the Hall.

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Editorial Masthead EDITORS-IN-CHIEF Oh Well! EiC, I love E Coli SENIOR EDITORIAL TEAM The deliveries cupcake, The real Oxford cryptid, #mywelfareofficer, Oxpops never coming soon, The independent reviewer, The independently reviewed NEWS Hertford Returns, ‘Just bumping the BNOC list’, Triple-helping of Hackery, Marine biologist, InDesignUnderstander, Into the deep end COMMENT Hopeful historian, American abroad, Unintentional school teacher, Forgotten on Facebook (but not in our hearts) PROFILES Vark, Grobblax, JubJub INNOVATION Graphic design is my passion CULTURE Cake-Tin, St Hilda’s, Échalote, Bookisano 2: The Return of Bookisano FILM Machu, 50% Film Editor MUSIC Gareth Malone, 50% Music Editor STAGE Yes She Can-ya, Involved In Every Play We Review, Writes Reviews At Inhuman Speed BOOKS Queen Of The Midlands, Double Section Girlboss, German Literature Expert FASHION Fashion-forward finalist, Lover of liminality , Costume queen THE SOURCE Pusey Princess, Le réalisateur LIFE Calls Out Her Friends Using Horoscopes, We’re Not In Kansas Any More, Loves Cherpse Hates Lay-in, AWOL Adam FEATURES Teeth autonomy advocate, Chief Wordpress uploader, Postgrad pal, Everyone’s favourite token man COLUMNS Bottomfull Brunch, Choral Chaos SPORT Lay-in grindset preacher, I didn’t know he was in Taiwan PUZZLES Concise ain’t nice CREATIVE Ben Beechener, Eve Gueterbock, Charlotte Rich-Jones, Aleksandra Pluta, Rachel Jung PHOTOJOURNALISM Ceci Catmur, Cyril Malík, Jessye Phillips, Meghana Geetha, Michelle Marques, Niamh McBratney, Teagan Riches, Jana Nedelkoska, Daniel Stick, Amy Van Wingerden MARKETING

Maurício Alencar (he/him), Editor-in-Chief Seeing my name in print for the first time in Week 5 Michaelmas 2020 was exhilarating.

The uncanny pseudonym Maurício Pintsworth seemed like it could open a world of opportunities for me– writing for Oxford’s most popular student publication without revealing my full identity.

You might be wondering what on earth Pintsworth is all about. My surname on Facebook when I first pitched a story to the Cherwell Sports section was Pintsworth.

At the time, us freshers had to find bizarre ways of keeping ourselves amused, hence the result of the Facebook name change. It was only some 72 hours later that I realised Facebook’s settings disallowed people from changing their name again within 3 months of the first change. When I pitched an article on football transfers to the sports editors at the time, they didn’t second guess my name.

Why would you?

Everything changed after my first Cherwell article as Maurício Pintsworth. For one, I became Maurício Alencar once again in my next Cherwell story on playing sport while in lockdown. But I also stuck to writing for this historic paper, which went on to offer me so many opportunities.

In my first term as a Sports Editor in HT21, everything went online. Thanks Delta. Sitting at home, trying to find things to do, life was a bit boring. Cherwell provided the enjoyment. I interviewed likely the best football writer in the world, Jonathan Wilson, as well as the renowned AFTV presenter Robbie Lyle. A friend of a friend of a friend sent me a

few emojis congratulating me. Trinity Term came, sports returned.

When I joined the News team in MT21, the stakes got higher but things got more exciting. Suddenly, I was getting a phone call from the English Faculty for making a verb-tense error in an article; I was receiving direct emails from students who were cross about statements the University had provided to us; I was listening to students’ various concerns face-to-face at the SU freshers fair. There was always a pressure to get things right, but that also felt exciting and valuable.

The last three terms of Cherwell on the Senior Editorial Team have been like none other– getting my name on a The Times article, writing a special report on OxfordRussia relations with 3.5k views, playing around with the print edition design, being a part of teams creating the BNOC list and the Sextigation.

So farewell, Cherwell. Whatever happens next, Maurício Pintsworth hopes that we meet again.

I went on to relay the Oxford perspective on some of the nation’s most topical issues, such as anti-spiking protests and the response to Russia’s attacks on Ukraine. As Deputy EiC overseeing news, I broke news on a confidential investigation at Oxford’s most powerful college, and revealed mismanagement at Oxford’s wealthiest society.

Most importantly, I met people who have taught me how to be level-minded and patient, but also ambitious, justice-oriented, and fair. Everything a good journalist should be. Thank you to Irene, Charlie, and Jill for your leadership, and to Maurício for being the best co-EiC I could ever have asked for.

Cherwell is and always has been a team effort, and we are fortunate enough to have an amazing team. It pains me to say goodbye, but I’m so grateful to look back over this past year and feel nothing short of unwavering pride.

Estelle Atkinson (she/her), Editor-in-Chief I hesitate to begin writing this, as I’ve yet to properly acknowledge to myself that my time at Cherwell has come to a swift end. I hesitate as well to talk exclusively about my term as Editor-in-Chief, as one term feels so short, and really Cherwell has been part of my life for over a year now. This term, it’s crossed the line into feeling like my whole life at times. Envisioning my life at Oxford without this wonderful publication is a daunting prospect.

As Editor-in-Chief, I expected to face the trials and tribulations of a journalist, and to struggle with professional challenges. I did not expect or realise how much I would be tried as an individual. While every part of me wishes the experience of editing Cherwell could go on forever, I am looking forward to the peace that comes with being able to scroll on facebook without stumbling across an anonymous post that makes my stomach sink. I have struggled immensely to emotionally divest myself from the Cherwell name.

However, the experience taught me how to place my trust into myself, and focus on making decisions that I knew I could stand by, even when challenged.

The real personal growth, and the overwhelming majority of emotions, however, were all positive. I first fell in love with news and investigations after my first solo front page: an investigation into the high levels of E. coli in Port Meadow. The level of student and community engagement this sparked was like nothing I had experienced before. I was doing something right.

Leader: The gift of giving room to grow are, for the most part, all well intentioned, albeit flawed creatures, influenced by our backgrounds as much as our surroundings, imbibing constant media and rhetoric from our peers, regardless of whether or not we seek it, which tells us constantly of different ways to view the world and each other. We are constantly being offered

Shiraz Vapiwala (she/her), Deputy Editor I have never thought it was a good idea for people to be “careful” in how they speak; the word “careful” implies an extent of inauthenticity and a- now necessary- caution which I never used to feel when speaking to people. People, now that’s a concept worth mentioning anew. The way I see it, is that people used to be no more than that primarily, especially at first glance- people.

We have all always had individual identities, sexualities, politics and races etcetera, however it seems as if now, more intensely than ever, we are being asked to be representatives of the communities which share our individualities, at times, putting them above our common ground of all being people. As variously different people, we all, in my opinion, share key characteristics which can help us to understand one another. We

“Without rooting around in the darkness ... the same, we risk creating a synthetic culture in which nobody says what they mean, and nobody means what they say.” new perspectives, justifications, arguments and truths, all of which we are expected to weigh up justly and measuredly and reach the same conclusions as our respected peers. There is no way to predict how tides will change and how the way we are expected to converse will. Despite this, kindness, honesty and respect are timeless, and they should be the standards we expect, regardless of if we are offended by ignorance. This creates difficulty, because it requires nuance to tell

if someone means to be offensive, or if they, like all of us are learning and adapting our views on the world, sometimes getting it (as we perceive) wrong.

Learning can only occur authentically and effectively, when people are given a chance to fail. Without rooting around in the darkness, occasionally bumping our heads, and allowing others to do the same, we risk creating a synthetic culture in which nobody says what they mean, and nobody means what they say; they say it out of conformity, lest they be challenged, without understanding how they got there, or why they ought to say one thing over another. Without giving our friends the freedom to express themselves in ways we may not agree with or find prejudicial, we put ourselves and our pals into a verbal minefield, in which any step can be fatal.

Fatal to our social reputations, our friendships, or our future prospects. Sometimes this means our conversations freeze into superficiality out of fear, and never reach higher ground.

So if I had a wish for our future interactions with one another, a gift I could give myself and others, it would be to act and speak freely with good intentions, unafraid of offending (as long as this is without malice) and always ready to learn something from those we offend. And when we recognise such people who we perceive fumble or fall short of what we hope their attitudes may be, to have mercy in challenging them, we ourselves may need it from others someday.

7

Bulletin

Week 7: Congratulations finalists!

What’s On So here summer comes and we review the year... ...A year where we found out Keble students are ‘crap in bed’ and where Daniel Dipper was both made the top BNOC in Oxford and faced a no-confidence vote in his own JCR. We will miss you, and I’m sure you will miss us.

Have a lovely summer away from Oxfess.

See back page for full details.

Cheerio, Cherwell

Film Screening: Pride Tuesday 14th June Oxford SU LGBTQ Campaign are hosting a screening of Pride at the SU. Pride is about the story of a London-based gay and lesbian activism group supporting miners’ strikes in 1984.

Summer Ceilidh Wednesday 15th June The Oxford University Ceilidh Band is hosting an event at the the Catholic Chaplaincy with tickets going for £5... Get on it!!

Cherwell End of Year Soirée Thursday 16th June

West Way Square – The Ideal Student Accommodation in Oxford!

All-inclusive utility bills | Studios & apartments | On-site gym | On-site supermarkets | Media rooms | Games room | Study & social areas | Direct buses to Oxford University & city centre | “The property is well equipped with all modern facilities. The staff are prompt and polite. Lots of community places for recreational activities. I feel safe and happy here” “Amazing accommodation. Very new and clean facilities, so many social rooms…The bus stop is 2 minutes away walking….

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8

Writing on the filing cabinets: A state school student’s response to Emma Duncan

Declan Peters assesses the columnist’s argument that “We’re hurting Oxbridge in the name of equality”.

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’m a proud East Londoner. I’m proud of the area I’m from and the family members who made their homes there.

Growing up in Ilford (London Borough of Redbridge), I attended a local state comprehensive (non-selective) secondary school with an A Level A*-A rate (a commonly used metric to measure a school’s academic success) of 13.2% when I completed my GCSEs in 2018. For sixth form, I moved (due to funding issues) to another state comprehensive with a slightly better A Level A*-A rate of around 28% for my subjects when I joined in 2018.

I never took private academic tuition across my entire school career. I do want to stress that, across both secondary and sixth form, every member of staff I encountered were doing the best they could in the context of the school’s location and underfunding, and deserve significant praise. At both secondary school and sixth form, I achieved the highest academic results in my year, and would go on to become the only student from either establishment to secure a place at Oxford in 2020 (a year with zero Oxbridge offers was not uncommon for either school), also becoming a member of the first generation in my family to attend university. Since starting here, I have joined numerous access and outreach initiatives, culminating in my appointment as President of the Oxford 93% Club (the university’s society for stateschooled students).

Emma Duncan, a columnist at The Times, Times, attended Buckinghamshire’s Wycombe Ab-

“The current average UK salary is around £31k – sending your daughter to Wycombe Abbey is therefore entirely achievable once you discover how to live on £1k/year.” bey private school before coming to Oxford.

Non-boarding fees at Wycombe Abbey sit at £30,000+ per year – and the 2018 A Level A*-A grade? 84%. Average class size currently sits around 12 pupils. My older brother, who attended the same secondary school as me, recalls a friend having to write standing up on a filing cabinet during History lessons because there were no available desks (class sizes regularly topped 30).

Duncan recently penned an article in The Times titled ‘We’re hurting Oxbridge in the name of equality’. As President of Oxford’s state-schooled society, my eyebrows immediately lifted, but I nevertheless picked up a copy and read it with an open mind.

Unfortunately, Duncan’s arguments have failed to hold up for me (or for the numerous other state-schooled students here I have discussed it with, and have a duty to repre-

sent). This piece is a response to Duncan’s article.

I consider it pertinent to address first why I contrast our educational backgrounds. It is not, as perhaps expected, to initiate any conversations regarding wealth – my immediate family, although coming from a long lineage of working-class Cockneys, is financially stable, and for all I know Duncan could have been on a full scholarship to Wycombe Abbey. Instead, I am comparing our backgrounds to highlight a much simpler point – Duncan does not have the lived experience to speak as authoritatively as she attempts to throughout her article.

Duncan begins with a few questionable points – firstly, by lamenting the 76% target the government has set for state school admissions to Oxbridge. As my society’s name implies (93% of UK students attend state schools), even this goal is far from matching the real-world reality. She goes on to argue that “favouring a state school pupil with worse marks in her entrance exam than a grammar-school boy who may have worked harder is also unfair”. It is worth noting that grammar schools still come under the ‘state school’ label - we should be careful with such statements. She claims soon afterwards that “not all private school pupils are rich”.

Although there are certainly exceptions (I personally know a handful), a 2021 TES report found that only 1% of private school students are on full scholarships, and still only 3% are on a 75-99% reduction. The other problem with this argument is the fact that, regardless of whether a student is on a full scholarship or paying full fees, they are still receiving the educational advantages of attending a private school. Duncan ignores this point and reiterates this argument in numerous guises throughout the article.

This is not to say that Duncan does not make some valid (even useful) points in the article, which I want to acknowledge. For example, her criticism of wealthy parents buying homes near top-performing state schools to cheat the system (using the example of Hills Road in Cambridge) is a valid one (even if such high-performing state school examples are outliers), and something acknowledged regularly by the UK’s first Professor of Social Mobility Lee Elliot Major OBE in his groundbreaking book Social Mobility and Its Enemies – a must-read for anyone interested in these topics.

However, as the article progresses, Duncan’s arguments go from the slightly questionable to the downright offensive. Two points in particular stand out to me. Firstly, she writes that “admitting weaker state school students on the basis that they may catch up with better-performing private school kids is guesswork, which is likely to bring down the braininess of the average Oxford student”. It is only logical to think that someone who has met the academic entry requirements (albeit with perhaps one grade lower if given a ‘contextual offer’ to something like the LMH foundation year), passed the personal statement stage, and succeeded at interviews (bearing in mind that, as one friend from Eton informed me, pupils at the school are

given 1-1 tutoring from secondary school age on both personal statements and interviews), all whilst fighting through the challenges of attending a less successful school (even if clearer definitions are needed, for example differentiating my school from Hills Road), has demonstrated the skills to prove themselves at Oxford. The implication that

“The implication that our [state school students’] presence is a threat to upholding the average IQ here is unbelievably condescending.” our presence is a threat to upholding the average IQ here is unbelievably condescending.

I recently had a conversation with a friend at Oxford from a similar non-selective state school background around imposter syndrome – “why would I feel less deserving to be here than someone from Harrow,” he asked me, “when I had to build my intelligence by staying up later than them every night until the local library shut to gather my revision resources – all because my school couldn’t afford the textbooks? If anything, don’t I deserve this more?” The students Duncan is talking about have contextual offers for a reason.

The second point Duncan makes, and the one which has caused the most backlash, reads as follows: “discriminating against parents who save or borrow to pay for education in favour of those who send their children to state schools and spend their money on luxuries is not a good signal”. Although I understand the point she is trying to make, this statement comes across as incredibly

out of touch. My rebuttal (the same one provided by countless state-schooled friends here) is also incredibly simple – the main reason that the vast majority of parents don’t send their children to private schools isn’t because they’ve spent the £30,000/year Wycombe Abbey tuition money on avocado toast and Starbucks – it’s because they just can’t afford it. The current average UK salary is around £31k – sending your daughter to Wycombe Abbey is therefore entirely achievable once you discover how to live on £1k/year.

This article is not intended to make any private-schooled individual at Oxford feel uncomfortable. I have many friends here from such a background whose raw academic talent is unbelievably clear for anyone to see – they do not possess less capable brains for Oxford which were ‘propped up’ by better schooling, as I imagine people like Duncan may accuse me of suggesting. I also agree with some of Duncan’s overarching points – we need to distinguish better between types of state schools – e.g. mine in comparison to state schools like Brampton Manor (which now bests Eton in Oxbridge admissions), and wider factors outside of the school itself (e.g. the stability of a family’s home-life or finances) need to be considered more.

Ultimately, however, Duncan’s article comes across as offensive and out of touch to many of us here from state-schooled backgrounds who overcame the barriers she is so quick to disregard. On Twitter, Cambridge Professor Gordon Dougan (from a councilestate, state-schooled background) sums it up best. In response to Duncan saying that Oxbridge “favouring state-school pupils isn’t fair”, he simply replies: “nothing was fair about me getting there. If I am damaging Oxbridge, so be it”.

Image credit: Evka W / CC BY-SA 4.0 via Wikimedia Commons

9

Elizabeth the Last: What next for the monarchy?

Jack Twyman takes a critical look at the past, present and future roles of the monarchy.

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s the Jubilee celebrations fade away and the bunting is taken down, the tables and chairs put back inside, and the last of the cake eaten, a new era will come upon us and the British monarchy. The Platinum Jubilee celebrations are the seeming crescendo to centuries of monarchy on these isles. It is unlikely we will come together as a country to celebrate Queen Elizabeth II again, apart from at her funeral. There is no questioning the legacy she has garnered over the course of her public life. She has single-handedly sustained the royal family through arguably the longest period of social rearticle even named her ‘the Comforter-in Chief’.

Times are certainly changing regarding public opinion on the monarchy, as YouGov highlighted in a 2021 analysis titled ‘Young Britons are turning their backs on the monarchy’. The growing discontent depicted in the report of young people - primarily 18-24 year olds - with the monarchy represents a stark change to years past. Additionally, the entire country seems divided over Prince Charles’ imminent take over of the throne - as of the 28th April 2022 an equal 32% of people think he would do a bad or good job as King, with the rest undecided. Most dialogue regarding the future of the royal family seemingly centres around the ‘wait until the Queen is gone’ narrative.

Many Republicans see her as the pinnacle of the monarchy: Graham Smith, speaking for the monarchy abolition campaign Republic, claimed “The Queen is the monarchy, the monarchy is the Queen and it’s the Queen who continues to sustain support for the monarchy.” A recent poll found support for the monarchy has declined by 13 points over the last decade.

The way in which Elizaas Queen - one who has, according to many, led a life of distinguished public service, and has performed her role dutifully, even as her Prime Minister partied on the same day she sat alone at her husband’s funeral - has led her to be presented as a somewhat welcome relief to the parade politics seemingly in vogue today. Indeed, any debate around the future of the monarchy requires the country to ask itself: Would I prefer Boris Johnson or the Queen as my head of state and representative to the world? The seeming abandonment of any remote sense of decency by our elected government has let the Queen stand out as a supposed role model, and

the last bastion of integrity in public life.

However, whether this is entirely representative or a fair conclusion is contentious. Shielded by a loyal press that makes her seemingly invincible, the Queen has made numerous questionable decisions. The list is remarkable. For one, she has overseen negotiations to implement a clause in the Equality Act that exempt her from accountability for preventing race and sex discrimination.

The Queen’s lawyers also secretly lobbied Scottish ministers to exempt her private land from legislation aimed at cutting carbon emissions - seemingly at odds with the initiatives of Charles and William. In 2010 she even attempted to use the state poverty fund to cover the cost of heating Buckingham Palace. been regarded as a ‘shady’ area. Documents recently revealed that the Queen lobbied for a law in 1970 to to conceal her “embarrassing” private wealth from the public. The estate of the monarchy is thought to be valued in the hunthe taxpayer continues to foot the bill of much royal expenditure and security. One of the most controversial decisions in recent years has been the Queen’s decision to fund Prince Andrew’s legal bill after he was accused of sexual assault and agreement to contribute to the settlement sum - money that could be better used elsewhere in the public purse. The Queen’s yearly Sovereign Grant payment from the government was £85.9m for 2020/21 - the equivalent of £1.29 per person in the UK. The scandal around Prince Andrew has been an embarrassment for the monarchy, and the Queen’s eagerness to steer the legal case towards a settlement is perhaps emblematic of her approach to safeguarding the establishment’s public image - especially in the run up to the Jubilee. It was explicitly a clause of the settlement that Andrew’s accuser Virginia Giuffre is not allowed to talk about the case during the Jubilee year.

While many believe the Queen’s position is symbolic, her actions prove otherwise, and she is actively involved in government.

Why the royal family is held in such an exposés, is an interesting question. The poisonous cultural wars that those who seek to divide the country and resist social progress are perpetuating in the country today have now ‘anti-British’ to be against the monarchy senseless when negating the need to hold public The reaction to the anti-monarchist organisation Republic’s billboard advertising campaign during the Jubilee has been divisive: one Conservative councillor called it “disgraceful”. Indeed, support from the monarchy, like other topics of contention, is split largely over demographic lines - 80% of Conservative voters and three-quarters of Britons aged 65 and older (74%) see the monarchy as being good for Britain, compared to 44% of Labour voters and just 24% of 18 to 24-year-olds. Jeremy Corbyn reaped the wrath of the conservative press when he chose not to sing the national anthem ‘God Save the Queen’. But he has a point. Is it right that our national anthem reveres nothing but our monarch?

Is there not far more to our

country than that?

The main reason the Queen is so beloved by her people is because her public image is so carefully curated and managed. The recent comedy skit of the Queen having tea with Paddington Bear is an example. The Queen is portrayed as a relatable, loveable old lady seeking to do good and make us laugh. Yet her private actions and dealings show that she acts cynically above the law. The choice of Paddington Bear was an unusual one as the bear is a refugee from Peru and arrived in London with a tag saying “please look after this bear”. This feels particularly ironic given the treatment of refugees in the UK today, our failure to look after each other, and the Queen’s apparent involvement in upholding discriminatory practice.

Prince Charles has been the longest heir apparent to the British throne in history. Consequently, he has had a lifetime to start public initiatives in a pioneering way. His work on projects concerning climate change have been greatly welcomed by many in the sector. A quick look at the initiatives page on his website shows he is involved in many social justice programmes such as Mosaic and A4S. While his role gives him the potential to do great things, the irony of his simultaneous position in the highest tier of aristocracy cannot be ignored.

Perhaps the disillusionment with the royal family felt by many is in part due to this: as an old white rich man, is he really representative of the country today? Often it is only with economic privilege that one is able to live sustainably, as it is not always the cheapest option. Charles’ Duchy Originals Home Farm supposedly uses pioneering agricultural techniques to produce organic food in an eco-friendly way, but produce is reserved primarily for sale by Waitrose and Partners, and expensive. Given that the climate crisis necessitates mass change, true sustainability needs to mean sustainability for all, not just those that can afford it. This means that while trying to do good the monarchy can come across as out of touch, circumstances. Charles has even dabbled in parliamentary intervention, like his mother, using a ‘secretive procedure’ to vet three parliamentary acts to prevent private residents on his estate from buying their own homes for decades.

Young royals are trying to be more in touch with the youth and at the forefront of this are William and Kate, the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge.

Their taboo-breaking work around mental health has given the topic it welcome and needed exposure at a time when it is still a stigmatised issue.

One only needs to glance at the press coverage surrounding Prince Louis at the Jubilee to see the public culture of admiration for this younger family. The contrasting treatment given to Harry and Meghan, on the other hand, suggests a continuing reluctance by the establishment to embrace a modern royal family; this should be seen as a source of national shame. It is telling that the conventional posh white family who conform to tradition - with their children dressed like they are from the 1950s - is well-received, but an interracial, only half aristocratic family were forced to break with the monarch and leave the country after being berated and harassed by people up and down the country, including the press and - allegedly - the rest of the royal family. The almost gleeful commentary of the Jubilee Thanksgiving Service announcing “Harry and Meghan are now very much second row royals” is evidence that this attitude is still pervasive today. The monarchy is inherently exclusionary; the royals can only preserve their high status by keeping it exclusive. And as of present there is seemingly no desire to engage with more diversity, and seemingly no room for an heir to be, for example, gay and accepted by the public. The idealistic view

presented in the novel Red, White and Royal Blue of a queer relationship in the royal family will The Kensingtons’ recent royal tour of the Caribbean, labelled a disaster and tone-deaf, is perhaps the best example of how even those young royals are seemingly archaic - the monarchy seems to romanticise its colonial past in a disturbingly nostalgic manner. When Barbados became a republic last year, its Prime Minister described the move as a “seminal moment” which will see Barbados fully leave its colonial past behind. Prince Charles attended the ceremony and spoke of the “appalling atrocity of slavery” which he said “forever stains our history”, stopping short of a sought-after apology. The continued reluctance of the monarchy to take accountability for the institutional role it played in this atrocious exploitation is an embarrassment - especially when the Queen is still head of state in many countries where the descendants of victims continue to suffer as a result.

The debate surrounding the monarchy in the UK is emblematic of the wider issues with our government. The whole system of government in the UK is in dire need of reform. Is it right that a government elected by a minority can rule without any meaningful checks and balances? Is it right that some votes are weighted more than others (the Green Party received 2.7% of all votes cast but no seats)? Proportional representation may offer a solution, even if it potentially allows fringe extremism to gain an elected voice. But a more blatant issue is the House of Lords. Life peerages? Inherited titles? Its similarity with the monarchy is unquestionable, even in its very name - is it a coincidence the Queen’s speech is read there as opposed to in the House of Com-

“Is it right that our national anthem reveres nothing but our monarch?

Is there not far more to our country than that?” mons? Even the grandiose setting of parliament has been said to leave politicians seemingly out of touch with the people.

Any decision surrounding the monarchy must be a democratic decision. It is important that the people choose who rules them, not the other way round. Yet this premise is incompatible with the idea of monarchy and the divine right to rule.

Navigating the reconciliation of the fundamentally undemocratic institution of the monarchy with more modern ideals poses a challenge. Unfortunately this has the capacity to divide the country into opposing factions - much like the Brexit vote. A rotating presidential head of state - even if only symbolic - would make possible fairer representation with our values presented abroad in a more appropriate and credible manner. Perhaps, to appease hardliners, the Monarchy could remain but only symbolically and not as heads of state; our government would no longer be ‘Her Majesty’s’ but rather ‘The People’s’.

Image credit: Unknown / Library and Archives Canada/ CC BY 2.0

10

Profiles In conversation with Farrah Storr William Foxton interviews Farrah Storr, award-winning editor for Women’s Health, Elle, and Cosmopolitan.

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vivid memory I have from the month I spent interning at Cosmopolitan is sitting around a table with the other interns, discussing Farrah Storr, the editor-in-chief of Cosmopolitan, who was just about to begin her tenure at Elle.

To us, and the generation of readers who came-of-age with her magazines, Farrah Storr was a mythic figure in the world of journalism. To us, Farrah Storr was the very thing.

When I tell her this, she bursts out laughing.

“It’s funny,” she says, “because obviously as you know, now you know me, I’m not particularly impressive close up. I just worked really hard. And I’m obsessive–was obsessive— about magazines.”

Close-up, Farrah remains impressive.

Her career includes editing tenures at Women’s Health, Elle, and Cosmopolitan (for which she won the 2018 Editor of the Year award at the Professional Publishers Association and the British Society of Magazine Editors), a hit memoir titled The Discomfort Zone: How To Get What You Want by Living Fearlessly, and, for a very brief moment, she was even considering opening a fitness studio–think SoulCycle, but with treadmills. Nowadays, she’s Head of Writer Partnerships at Substack UK, publishing a weekly newsletter, entitled Things Worth Knowing.

There’s a vulnerability that’s come to characterise Farrah’s work. She’s written in detail about her relationship with trauma, her decision not to have children and her thoughts on body image. They’ve certainly resonated with her readers, giving Farrah the reputation of being a woman known for exploring the zeitgeist. Is there a pressure that comes with this?

“What I feel a pressure to do, I think, is to have the conversations that the culture is not having. I feel very strongly about that actually,” she tells me, “I think it comes from being a journalist and if you’re a half decent journalist, your duty is to explore both sides of the story.

“And when I didn’t think the culture was exploring an important side of the story for example, women not wanting to have

“You have to encourage [young journalists], but you also have to warn them” it all–I suppose I did feel a duty, where it felt relevant to me, to put my hand up and go, hang on a minute, there is another narrative that I think a lot of women would agree with. I’m willing to be the sacrificial lamb to talk about it,” she says.

It’s one thing to write vulnerably, it’s another to edit someone else’s vulnerability. During her tenure at Cosmopolitan, Farrah edited some highly personal pieces, on topics such as mental health, abortion, and body image. What’s it like being on the other side of this?

“First of all, the want has to come from them,” she says “In my experience, I have found that young journalists tend to want to write from the gut.”

“As an editor, you have to encourage them, but you also have to warn them,” she says, “I try to work very closely with the writers and I try to make the writers aware of what the ramifications might be of their work, but I always try to explain to them that if you are putting something important out as a piece of journalism, it will always be divisive. And you have to be okay with that. And everybody’s going to have an opinion on it. And unfortunately, if you’re not okay with that, the reality is you’re going to struggle in journalism.”

“Now, of course, the problem is journalism is struggling because people no longer want to put anything out into the world

“It's just having a sense of what's the unspoken, what's the untold story” which might be too divisive. I know lots of journalists who are very scared about writing about what they truly believe or think because they’re worried about social media reprisals. And I think that’s left journalism in a far less richer place, actually. I sort of think it’s criminal, actually,” she continues.

During her time at Cosmopolitan, Far-

rah oversaw the publication of what some might deem controversial and provocative stories: a deep-dive into the community of men who followed Jordan Peterson, an investigation into a man falsely accused of rape, these are the kinds of stories that are bound to raise an eyebrow, or perhaps a Twitter tirade.

“You have to have enough distance to remind yourself that when people say something controversial – qualify who. If you put 100 people in a room they’re all going to have a completely different take on the controversial means,” she says. “I was an editor of a mass market magazine.

So I’m reaching the masses. If you’re only trying to appease a subsection of society or the most vocal people on social media, you’re going to be in a lot of trouble as an editor. If you want to appeal to those people on Twitter you’re never going to have the freedom to be the sorts of editor you want.

It’s a pretty fearless approach, I tell her.

“I don’t really see it as fearless,” she tells me, “I think it’s just having a sense of what’s the unspoken, what’s the untold story. And that is not fearless. That should be the instinct of any journalist, always was when I was growing up. There might be consequences but usually the other side is most people don’t know this story is happening, it’s your job to inform, which is what we did.”

“Let’s be honest,” she continues, “a lot of those stories in Cosmo that somebody might deem controversial, as you know, those are the stories that won the awards.

It’s because those were the journalists who had the balls to tell stories.”

Read the full article at cherwelL.org

Artwork by Wang Sum Luk

11

Innovation What’s new?

Deglobalisation: A real threat to global trade?

Khusrau Islam discusses the concept of “deglobalisation” and its potential ramifications.

I PepGen, the Oxford University spinout company developing therapeutics for Duchenne Muscular Dystrophy (DMD), has raised $108m in its Initial Public Offering (IPO).

Chickens were originally tempted down from the trees and into domestication by rice, according to new research by the University of Exeter, the University of Oxford and Cardiff University.

Anthropologist Dr Anna Machin, of the University of Oxford, said certain drugs can replicate the effect on the brain of falling in love and could be available in three to five years.

n 1989, the Berlin Wall fell. It heralded the third era of globalisation. In terms of trade, the basic premise was that barriers between countries would go down, and cash could flow freely between states and across borders, and in return, goods would come the other way.

A certain narrative surrounding global trade at the moment is that such globalisation is grinding to a halt. In fact, it’s reversing, and we’re on the cusp of entering a period of “deglobalisation”. And if so, doom awaits. But there are two things wrong with arguing that way. Firstly, what actually is this “deglobalisation”? Secondly, is it a bad thing?

At the World Economic Forum meeting in Davos at the end of last month (May 2022), the notion of “deglobalisation” topped agenda; the concern was that globalisation had begun to reverse as a result of geopolitical tensions, like the war in Ukraine, and due to disruptions to supply chains.

One manifestation of supply chain pressures is volatility in foreign exchange markets. In a fully globalised world, when trading, transportation costs would be offset by the weakness of a foreign currency (making it more attractive for exports).

But because of disruptions, these costs have risen to cancel out the advantage of buying in weaker currencies, thus making them less attractive. This has led to foreign exchange volatility making exports less attractive, and thus leading towards deglobalisation.

Kristaina Georgieva, IMF managing director, believes that “geoeconomic fragmentation will make our world poorer and more dangerous”.

The sanctions against Russia demarcate the aggressor from the West. Meanwhile, trade blocs are emerging in the East; Biden has entered into the Indo-Pacific Economic Framework which represents 40% of the global economy – he is also supporting trade with Taiwan and Japan to protect against invasion by China. State intervention in China has limited foreign involvement in the Chinese stock market. Despite Xi JinPing’s recent reassurance in favour of international co-operation, there is an “underlying concern about decoupling”.

The recent precedent of sanctions on Russia’s foreign exchange could spark a fear of future US sanctions. China, amidst these rising tensions, are looking to incentivise the holding of the renminbi, thereby further drawing up battle lines against the US. Especially with the creation of trade blocs, limits in global trade might signal protectionist and nationalist attitudes to commerce: countries would only trade with friends, thus limiting their exports and imports. So, domestic companies in a country would have less competition from foreign

ones; such lack of competition disincentivises innovation and quality domestically, driving down consumer satisfaction.

However, a deglobalized economy is also subject to an inflation risk. A protectionist country would impose a tariff on goods coming in to drive up prices on those products, thus encouraging the consumption of domestic equivalents. However, assuming the demand for the foreign goods still exists, consumers must spend more to afford the same amount of these goods as before – these tariffs pose an inflation risk.

Protectionist attitudes in the US had an inflationary threat, while Indonesia’s nationalist palm oil export ban had an impact on global inflation.

Rana Foroohar makes the argument that deglobalisation and decoupling is not a risk but a reality. Particularly in emerging markets like Latin America, Africa, and Asia, countries are developing their own regional and local supply chains. Decentralised

technologies are allowing for “local for local” production. Her argument is driven further by the point that “globalisation isn’t inevitable… [an economy] has to serve domestic needs”.

We can see a shift towards local supply chains in the US too. Supply bottlenecks have encouraged a 20% rise in expenditure on maintaining and acquiring properties, suggesting efforts to move away from reliance on external supply chains. The recent shortage of semiconductor chips has been caused by supply chain issues. The chip is essential for computer production and technological advancements. As such, Intel have recently pledged to build a $20bn chip manufacturing site in Ohio to prevent any further supply issues. Like the markets in emerging countries, the US is moving towards a local view rather than a global one.

However, I am hesitant to call this deglobalisation. As of November 2021, there is little evidence to suggest that we are heading towards a deglobalized world. In September, imports in the US were at an all-time high, while China’s trade surplus exceeded pre-pandemic levels. Ports around the world were congested through high

trade. In 2020, the year of the pandemic, China overtook the US as top destination for foreign direct investment, and exceeded those levels in 2021. Global trade has not paused.

The deglobalisation we are seeing in the formation of trade blocs and creation of local supply chains as opposed to global ones can be read as protections against risk. If China enters a trade war with the US, and sanctions are imposed on it, then it cannot have all of its reserves in dollars, since they would be blocked from spending in US markets. Countries are facing major supply shortages with disruptions in China as well as from the war in Europe. So, they need to find other ways to acquire their goods since international routes are failing. These establishments of local supply chains are not threats to global trade, but protections against future failures.

Globalisation has also created domestic financial inequality. Dani Rodik demonstrated that for every $1 gained in efficiency from free trade, $50 was moved away from the poor towards the wealthy. It is not hard to see this impact on “unskilled” workers in the UK who have lost jobs due to the outsourcing of labour enabled by globalisation. However, the pandemic has revealed a strong demand for workers, and demonstrated that essential workers are essential. In the cost-ofliving crisis, coupled with the trend towards a local mindset, deglobalisation, or more accurately, derisking, could help solve problems and inequalities created by the global mindset through the restoration of local jobs. The local mindset is also seen in regulatory bodies, who are also looking to firm up supply chain and domestic interests. Nvidia’s acquisition of Arm was stopped partly out of a desire to stop jobs from leaving the UK. I’m not suggesting that we should all close our borders and stop global trade, ignore the benefits of globalised outsourcing, and deny the value of international M&A. And conversely, there are very real and prevalent protectionist attitudes globally (e.g., populist rhetoric about taking back jobs in the aftermath of the Brexit referendum, or Trump’s domestic focus) which are threatening global trade.

But the deglobalisation which we are seeing is not just a simple reversal globalisation or a splitting into factions. Instead, it is a raised wariness of reliance on the international market. Sanctions on Russia proved that even global superpowers could become persona non grata. Global supply crises revealed structural weaknesses in distribution channels. We are not seeing a decoupling of international networks. We are seeing countries and companies attempting to mitigate the risks of trading with the world.

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Culture CONTENTS CULTURE

Why we should care about Warhol

12 | Why we should care about Warhol 12 | In defence of James Corden

Ore Gazit considers the wider significance of a Warhol print being auctioned at record-breaking prices.

FASHION

ndy Warhol famously noted the irony that American capitalism is a system in which the richest and the poorest consumers can buy virtually the same things. Perhaps this was true of Campbell’s soup and cans of Coke, but his own works have proven otherwise time after time, and the last major Warhol sale was certainly no exception.

Christie’s auction house in New York recently sold Andy Warhol’s Shot Sage Blue Marilyn, the fourth in his print series made in 1964.The work is an unmistakable icon of the American Pop Art movement, feature Warhol’s vivid, blaring colours and the face of America’s most prominent sex symbol. Sold for an eye-watering $195million (£158.2m), the work has become the most expensive modern painting ever to sell at auction.

So the question remains - why should you care? Being someone who’s eyeing up the meal deal section at Tesco, and looking to Broke Mondays for my source of post-work entertainment, I--and most, if not all, Cherwell readers--am in no position to even imagine purchasing a work with this price tag. However, the

13 | Designing Gabriel 13 | Photoshoot Pussy Slay star

MUSIC

14 | “Voices that remind us of home”: Music beyond the M6

FILM

14 | Booksmart and the art of growing up

BOOKS

15 | In conversation with Francesca Tacchi

STAGE

15 | Review - The Corn is Green

THE SOURCE

16 | Plenmeller House 16 | Alive 16 | Warm Up

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growing demand for modern art from an increasing number of collectors is a cause of both celebration and lament for the rest of us.

The work’s sale brings art from their walls to the public eye, encourages visits to museums and inspires the creation of exhibitions, such as the one Christie’s themselves held for the work for the public to see. What’s not to love about being reminded of good art?

Warhol’s artworks have become rarer, and more sought-after, in the private art market.

Their iconic status has led to a cult of Warhol collectors, who remain a very small and exclusive club of magnates.

One likely candidate to purchase the work was Israeli businessman Jose Mugrabi, known for his impressive collection of 800 works by Warhol, the most of any existing private collection.

Yet, with each work going back into pri-

vate hands, so too we must say goodbye to it for the foreseeable future. The private sale of Warhol’s Marilyn means it will not be readily available for admiration on a museum wall.

If we’re lucky, it could be loaned to temporary exhibitions, before returning to its owners. Art historians will only be able to admire it from afar, making use of digitized images rather than taking in the ‘real thing’.

As the work breaks yet another Christie’s record, it is clear that private collectors are hungry for more.

As such, both the academic and the regular gallerygoer can only do one thing until they hope to see it again: wait.

“Warhol

collectors...re-

main a very small and exclusive club.”

Read the full article at cherwell.org.

In defence of James Corden Greg James Halliwell explores the strangely polarised reactions to this comedian.

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fear this may not be a popular article, but here goes. Such is the scale of the bitterness of the internet and media against James Corden, that a naïve observer might wonder just how many ungodly atrocities the London-born comedian had committed in order to emerge as such a beacon of revulsion and loathing. Upon the announcement this month of his departure from a very successful stint as host of the US talk show ‘The Late Late Show,’ congratulations were sparsely hidden amid a slew of derogatory remarks, ‘praise the lords’, and Brits encouraging America to ‘keep him.’ The internet has long campaigned against Corden, including a petition to ban him from appearing in the film adaptation of ‘Wicked,’ attracting 60,000 signatures. Social media is equally spiteful; Twitter user DirtbikeCollins goes as far as to say he has ‘all the appeal of a dog fart in a pub.’ Bold.

So what crimes has Corden committed since he crossed the pond to foster this level of hate?

Well, on the surface, his stint in the US has been stunningly successful. Corden refined the format and scope of his show, adopting a more British layout, and very energetic interview style.

He refined the art of the US talk show to suit his own brand of entertainment, and found himself able to attract a quality of guests more commonly routed to the bigger latenight slots. But, like Jimmy Fallon, it is his shift of focus to features and games tailormade for the internet that has brought him

the most success. It is easy to forget that for a time, a few years back, the ‘Carpool Karaoke’ series of videos was perhaps the biggest thing on the internet; the edition with Adele as guest has amassed over 250 million views on YouTube. The success of the format was driven not just by the presence of big stars

very successful, winning Olivier and Tony awards for his role in the straight play ‘One man, Two Guv’nors’, and a Golden Globe nomination for his role in musical film ‘The Prom’. But his involvement in 2019’s unintentional horror movie ‘Cats’ was beyond a low point and has, more than anything,

but the personality, energy, and amiability of Corden, which allowed the stars to express themselves in ways most talk shows struggle to achieve.

So where did it go so wrong? Well, there is no disputing his most incredible talent of worming his way into just about every corner of popular culture. His forays into musical theatre and film draw particular attention. On the face of it again, he has been

earned him a reputation as a cheap fallback option for directors looking to bolster the number of celebrities in a picture.

But perhaps part of the deeper problem is Corden’s style of comedy. He has become a sort of ‘comedic Coldplay’; a figure who everyone loves to hate in spite of continued popularity and success. Corden’s brand of humour can often be low brow, based on his general air of silliness, extraversion,

and preparedness to embarrass himself in front of his audience. The inflated version of ourselves we present to others on the internet wants to believe we are above that - that we have a more mature and refined taste in entertainment than the Cordenconsuming masses. Comparable perhaps is the continued success of the even lower-brow sitcom ‘Mrs Brown’s Boys’, which attracts more hate than a Tory boy in Wadham, yet continues to draw massive viewing figures.

Though we deny it, most of us are not above silliness and wacky humour and old Irish women saying ‘Feck!’ every five seconds. Nor are we above a middle-aged cockney man masquerading as Cinderella in traffic on a crosswalk. Perhaps we should stop pretending we are for the sake of massaging our internet egos.

Corden is certainly a victim of the cynicism of the uptight modern media consumer, fighting an unending battle against the armchair cynics and cultured critics. But he is effortlessly entertaining and an excellent Maître D of late-night TV, and that surely should count for something. I hope, on his inevitable return to the UK, we drop the pessimism and enjoy the energy and fun that Corden brings.

Image credit: iDominick / CC BY-SA 2.0 via WIkimedia Commons

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Fashion Designing Gabriel Yuri Hwang recounts her experience of designing the costumes for the student play Gabriel.

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he garden fell silent as the quartet began to play. We brushed a stroke of white eyeliner on Gabriella’s nose – the final touch – and wished her luck as she rushed on stage. It was the opening night of Gabriel, adapted by Clare Bayley, directed by Eleanor Warr, and designed by us, two second years at the Ruskin School of Art, under the mentorship of designer E.M. Parry.

We first heard about the production from an

email: “*Exciting opportunity* from Arts in UNIV – Assistant to EM Parry (Mal)”. The description of the play was as follows: “Set in Renaissance Italy, Gabriel tells the story of the young nobleman – a brilliant swordsman, a scholar and horseman – who discovers on his 18th birthday that he is a woman.” Starved for any creative opportunity, Anna and I submitted a joint application to head the set and costume design for the show.

Both of us were Oxford theatre virgins and designing such a ground-breaking production under professional mentorship was a thrilling, albeit intimidating, prospect.

Gabriel was a character both constricted by and liberated from conventional gender norms, occupying a blend of the Renaissance and the 21st century; so, we envisioned culottes and corsets, embroidered waistcoats and subversive basics Midsommar meets bondage.

Alexander McQueen, Commes Des Garcons and Hyein Seo dominated our moodboards.

As the project progressed, however, our initial enthusiasm was dampened by the realities of budgeting and deadlines. Of course, we weren’t actually expecting couture for a student play (we had gotten a little ahead of ourselves), but it still hurt to see the lavish gowns stripped to sundresses and the trains of tulle slashed to ribbons. Coordinating with both the cast and crew was also a novel experience for the both of us – we at the Ruskin are used to highly independent work and study, with all of us toiling away in our individual studio spaces for most of our course – and it was quite a challenge to reconcile our visions with those of the director and the cast. But we were fortunate enough to work with such a supportive and diligent team, who even brought in duffel bags full of unique pieces and accessories from their own wardrobes. This part of the process made me internalise the importance of external critical feedback and support; without the suggestions and efforts from the cast and the crew, our designs would have remained twodimensional and entirely impractical. They were the ones who helped us truly realise our vision and bring our ideas to life.

Chaos ensued as opening night approached. Anna and I hopped around every

Photoshoot: Pussy slay Star Trek!

Madi Hopper presents her latest self-curated fashion photoshoot.

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retro sci-fi take on the prep look, inspired by Oxford’s most liminal library. Model wears a floral smock adapted from a vintage maternity maxi and a dupioni silk jacket, with 90s Topshop shoes and a faux-pearl tie. Shot on 35mm film to capture the feeling of surreality so well known to those who entomb themselves within the Glink.

Image credits: Madi Hopper

thrift store at Oxford, from Bombay Emporium in Cowley to Sobell House in Jericho, sourcing leather belts and muslin sashes for lastminute costume adjustments. The cast ran through the final dress rehearsal as Anna ripped up bed sheets to tie across the steel deck and I sat sewing the torn hems of a boned skirt. As hectic as everything was, seeing everything come together on opening night was incredible: after months of poring over crude sketches and CAD models, it felt like a dream to see Gabriel’s skirt floating through the painted frames in the fully bloomed glory of Univ’s master’s garden. When dusk finally settled and the tree glittered with the fairy lights dripping from its branches, we stepped out from backstage to cheer for the cast, who closed the show dancing in pink, white, and blue.

Image credits: Yuri Hwang and Anna Du Toit

14

Music Cherwell Recommends TRUE NORTH

Complementing the artists mentioned in the article, here are two tracks by Northern bands whose music reflects their roots

THE MEETING PLACE The Last Shadow Puppets

TEARDROPS Bring Me The Horizon Image Credit: Drew de F Fawkes/ CC-BY-2.0 via Wikimedia Commons (cropped), Sven Mandel/ CC-BY-SA 4.0 via Wikimedia Commons

“Voices that remind us of home”: Music beyond the M6 Georgia Brown discusses the underappreciated power of Northern music.

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n an interview with the Sunday Times, musician Sam Fender discussed the importance of singing in a Geordie accent for his latest album Seventeen Going Under. Whilst working upon his debut Hypersonic Missiles, Fender had felt the obligation to soften his voice and dialect, a response to mainstream industry standards. For his most recent work, however, he realised that the beauty of the Geordie accent should be embraced in his music, considering it to be “one of the most melodic accents in the English language.” Seventeen Going Under itself is a homage to Fender’s roots, a Springsteen-esque depiction of life growing up in North Shields. The authenticity of singing in his own voice echoes across the subjects of his songs, from the disappointment of first love to the government’s neglect of the working class.

Northern identity has long been entwined with music. Most famously (and inescapably), bands such as The Beatles, Oasis and the Arctic Monkeys have played an integral role in elevating the fame of places such as Liverpool, Manchester, and Sheffield respectively. A long list of those who left their mark on the musical landscape feels slightly excessive, though it ranges from the melancholic sounds of the Smiths and Joy Division to the height of the ‘Madchester’ scene, made iconic in the hands of the Happy Mondays and the Stone Roses.

These past communities linger still. Walk through the Northern Quarter on a sunny day and find yourself amongst many-a middle aged men who are crowned with mod-style haircuts and dressed exclusively in Fred Perry. Wander outside the cultural staple Afflecks Palace, underneath

the ‘AND ON THE SIXTH DAY GOD CREATED MANchester’ sign, and you may very well find a horde of awkward pre-pubescent teens dressed in parka coats, despite the fact it is nearly twenty degrees. We have all been there – it is a rite of passage.

Certain stereotypes do exist around northern life and people. This happens much less frequently today, but there is an uncomfortable truth in admitting that the stereotypes do still exist (personally, it does not go unnoticed that most ‘northern’ accents in popular culture are used to represent those less intelligent or uneducated.)

In the past, northern cities and towns were left neglected and underfunded by government policies, governments far out of reach with the reality of living in industrial working-class England. Amongst the effects of these policies, arose the image of northern people being sufficiently ‘un-cultured.’

Though, one must ask, whose cultural expectations were they being measured against? And so, it is with a kind of belligerence that an alternative culture was created. A culture that would always belong to the northern identity, obstinately clung to for generations to come. A reminder of the richness that we are capable of, a cultural trove that binds the community.

Iin a recent bout of slight homesickness, (I’m currently in a different country to home) I found myself scrolling through the depths of Spotify to find some small comfort. Stumbling upon the band Elbow, I queued their albums and set out for a quiet stroll across the foreign city that has become a makeshift home for the last few months. Surrounded

Booksmart and the art of growing up Dorothy Guy explores why this coming-of-age film resonates so powerfully.

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here’s a moment when Molly and Amy (Beanie Feldstein and Kaitlyn Dever), the independent, Ivy-League-bound protagonists of Olivia Wilde’s 2019 film Booksmart, give up and give in. Consequently, it’s the moment that I, sitting in a theater on the Upper West Side of Manhattan, my first year of university behind me, flew forward and thought the 2019 equivalent of ‘Is this fucking play about us?’.

They’ve accidentally ingested drug-laced chocolate strawberries and begin to hallucinate themselves as dolls: their outfits are ridiculous, and their heads are heavier than their torsos – except of course for their chest which is twice as weighty as the rest of their shiny plastic bodies.

The two girls, who have bumper stickers plastered with ‘Bernie 2016’, ‘Still a Nasty Woman’, and of course, ‘Bernie 2020’, catch a glimpse of their glamazonian features and are hooked.

Amy, in the Mean Girls Halloween costume equivalent of Jessie’s outfit in Toy Story, philosophizes, ‘I know this is unrealistic and bad for women, but is it bad? Because I feel pretty good.’ It’s part of the movie’s quest to understand the struggle to become an adult today. We’re told to want it all, shown on social media that it’s possible, but commanded to stay relentlessly humble, even to hide our accomplishments. Amy and Molly and

the rest of us live in the Duck Syndrome generation: as much as Amy proclaims to decry beauty standards, she can’t quite reject them. On the top, they float. They’re funny, brilliant, and having a good time, but the stress of perfection and the need to seem care-free and self assured is daunting. On their trip, they become living representations of the pain of looking at a photo of Emily Ratajkowski in a bikini on Instagram with the caption, ‘all bodies are beach bodies’. Sure they’re wonderful, but pretending that our insecurities are surmountable purely through the actions of the body positivity movement are ludicrous.

Both girls are balls of nerves, and, Molly in particular, after learning that everyone is going to great colleges after high school – even after four years of seemingly lax behaviour, partying, and casual sex has a meltdown. To her ultimate horror, she learns that Annabelle ‘Triple-A’s social skills are matched only by her test taking abilities. Like Molly, she is off to Yale, and when they get there, she wants to pretend that the two don’t know each other. She learns that everyone she looks down on – slackers, heiresses, and athletes (including her Vice President, whose only role, she claims, is to plan parties) are off to incredible things. Molly spirals, the internal nosedive animated by the final bell and rave-like hallway antics of the beginning of

“...still best friends, still ambitious and imperfect and stressed...”

summer vacation. If she isn’t better than everyone else academically, then what was the point of shipping herself off to social Siberia all those years ago?

When I sat down with my ludicrously large popcorn, I expected to settle down and view it with a newly earned jaded eye towards high school. There would be the ridiculous montage; the heroines would start by transforming themselves through sheer power of will but ultimately learn to accept themselves; the doll scene and Molly’s spiral of perfectionism reveal the movie to have a greater message about our culture and a much more realistic execution. By the end, their seemingly unconquerable love interests would be conquered (see the film’s spiritual ancestor, Superbad).

To quote one of the most iconic scenes from HBO’s Euphoria, ‘Is this fucking play about us?’. I thought back to the nights I patted myself on the back for not going to the party, or when I went above and beyond on a presentation that simply didn’t matter, and at the end of it watched (happily, I feel the need to add) the girls who did both, who seemingly had it all, go to the same institutions I did. In contrast with movies I armed myself with throughout high school, Mean Girls (shown to us, incredibly, in middle school health class), Legally Blonde, and Clueless, Booksmart is about young women who have already succeeded but can’t quite shake their impostor syndrome.

Read the full article at cherwell.org.

Image credit: Alexas Fotos / Pixabay License via Pixabay

by crowds of French people in 26-degree heat, I found myself humming along to ‘Jesus is a Rochdale girl.’ There is a delicate nature to most of their songs, still entirely rooted in the place where they have grown up. Their lyrics really are a kind of poetry (please do try ‘Switching Off’ if interested,) but it is made all the more piercing by Guy Garvey’s voice, gently unassuming in a soft Manchester accent. It made me think of Fender’s interview, and how at the end of the day we owe it to ourselves to hear the beauty in the voices that remind us of home.

Read the full article at cherwell.org.

Image credit: plentyofants/ CC-BY-SA-2.0 via Wikimedia Commons

Film Must See:

Comfort Watches

MY NEIGHBOUR TOTORO This Studio Ghibli classic needs no introduction. There are few things more delightful to watch.

PACIFIC RIM I genuinely prefer to unwind by watching giant robots fight giant monsters, but maybe I’m just odd.

Image Credit: cuilei2016 / Pixabay License via Pixabay, toybot studios / CC BY-NC 2.0 via Flickr

15

Books

In conversation with Francesca Tacchi Jessica DeMarco-Jacobsen discusses a new queer voice’s fantasy interpretation of the Italian partisan struggle.

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ny book that begins with the sentence “every day is a good day to kill Nazis” is bound to catch my interest. That’s just how neurodiverse, queer Italian author Francesca Tacchi’s (xe/xem/xir) debut novella, Let the Mountains Be My Grave, begins.

Let the Mountains Be My Grave is an antifascist, queer novella set in 1944 Italy, just after the Allied forces landed in Sicily.

The title is a reference to a verse from the well-known partisan song, ‘Bella Ciao’. It’s a semi-historical book, filled with good humour, touches of Etruscan mythology, and some fantastical magic.

Tacchi said that xir inspirations behind the novella were mainly drawn from the fact that in WWII media the partisans are rarely represented. “This war is a Hollywood darling, but most movies are focused on the Allied intervention,” says Tacchi.

The main character is Veleno, a 20-yearold partisan with his heart set on vengeance because the Nazis ruthlessly killed his uncle and father. Veleno is armed with an unusual weapon: the healing magic of the Chthonic, pre-Italic deity named Angitia.

Tacchi’s interests in history and ancient Italic paganism were among their inspirations.

I enjoyed xir fictional interpretation of the war as including these ancient gods, though ultimately being in human hands.

The novella is pleasingly fast-paced and includes a set of diverse, lovable characters: Mosca, a Catholic; Irma, a Jew; and Rame, a communist. “They were…united by the hate toward fascism and the desire to finally see Italy freed from Nazi occupation,” wrote Tacchi in xir author note.

As an Italian-American Jew, I appreciated the Jewish character, Irma, an academic.

Irma has powers from the ‘Etruscan Zeus’, Tinia.

My Jewish brain also brought special attention to one bit of dialogue where Rame asks Irma how she can have a relationship with Tinia while being Jewish. He assumes that Jews are forced into monotheism, but she explains with grace that she personally believes in monolatry, meaning that she believes in one god, but doesn’t deny the existence of other gods. She also explains that her standpoint isn’t one accepted by all Jews, an important note for her to make.

Tacchi criticises effectively American foreign policy across the globe. Let the

Mountains Be My Grave does not glorify the Allies’ involvement in liberating Italy from the Nazis. Veleno is concerned about the Americans potentially annexing the Italian peninsula: “What if [the Americans] won’t leave, after the war is won? I’m not so sure I’d like to see Italy being liberated from the fascists just to step into the shadow of one of the Allies.”

The novel is also unabashedly queer. “The choice of including queer people in my novella was quite simple, as I’m queer myself and always hungry for more representation [within the fantasy genre]” said Tacchi.

Lastly, I enjoyed the importance of music throughout the novella, the lyrics of which are included in their original language. Tacchi felt that translating them in-text would have, in a sense, warped these songs. “I really wanted to include songs...because songs are an important symbol of Italian resistance,” said Tacchi. “Folk songs are powerful in conveying a message, and also to more viscerally represent a people.”

The subject of resistance to fascism is becoming increasingly important with the resurgence of the far right across the globe.

Furthermore, positive fictional queer relationships such as the one in Let the Mountains Be My Grave are really needed when romantic relationships between men in fiction tend to end in tragedy. I genuinely look forward to Tacchi’s future releases, and I am excited to see how xe develops as a writer.

Artwork Credit: Mia Carnevale.

Cover design credit: dave ring.

Recommended Reads This week, we recommend a novel exploring the hardships and mishaps of a woman living in Paris.

Good Morning, Midnight

By Jean Rhys Although she is widely famous for Wide Sargasso Sea, Good Morning, Midnight is a diamond in the rough. Set in 1930s Paris, the novel intersperses Sasha’s traumatic past with her everyday visits to cafes, and encounters with men of various personalities. Whilst exploring loneliness, loss, change, and vulnerability Rhys also presents Sasha’s precarious social position through the non-linear narrative style, using flashbacks to different times in Sasha’s life. It is hard not to relate to Sasha and one line in particular stands out: “I’ve been so ridiculous all my life that a little bit more or a little bit less hardly matters now”.

- Fariha Uddin, Books Editor

Stage ‘Unafraid to poke fun at the elite’: Review - The Corn is Green Neily Raymond reviews The Corn is Green at the National Theatre, directed by Dominic Cook.

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hen the coal-faced son of a Welsh mining town, Morgan Evans, meets the schoolteacher Miss Moffat, he asks her for a kiss. Instead, she gives him a nasty whack on the bum.

So begins the relationship at the heart of The Corn is Green, Emlyn Williams’ 1938 semi-autobiographical drama, directed by Dominic Cook and running at the National Theatre until June 11. The central conceit: a playwright (presumably Emlyn Williams), haunted by the ghosts of his past, sits down at his typewriter to honour their memory. The ghosts are, in the National Theatre’s staging, literal – a chorus of Welsh miners crowding the corners of the stage to witness the action. They never speak, but sing traditional Welsh songs in rich harmony.

It would be painfully sappy if the story didn’t demand, well, sap. At the turn of the 20th century, Miss Moffat (Nicola Walker) founds a school for the children of an impoverished Welsh mining town.

When the orphan Morgan Evans (Iwan Davies) composes a poetic reflection on

his life in the mines, Miss Moffat sees the gifted mind hidden beneath the grease and irreverence. Evans becomes her most prized student, training him to speak like a gentleman and stuffing his head with Adam Smith and Voltaire. It’s like My Fair Lady, but gender-swapped and very, very Welsh.

He’s soon on the brink of earning a scholarship to Oxford. But when Evans is embroiled in a local scandal, Miss Moffat has to learn how far she’s willing to go to help him pursue a better life.

Walker and Davies give a fine portrayal of the antagonism between teacher and student, especially when the teacher is a prickly middle-aged Englishwoman and the student is an occasionally drunk Welsh miner. Walker is all hard edges and clipped consonants, with perpetually raised eyebrows: a female Henry Higgins. Davies, on the other hand, keeps his brow drawn low, until Miss Moffat finally gets him to look her in the eye.

In this 160-minute play, an actor portraying Williams (Gareth DavidLloyd) remains onstage the whole time.

He’s orchestrating the thing, after all.

Cook emphasises the role of the writer downtrodden Welsh miners of its chorus, in the creation of the playworld by and is unafraid to poke fun at the educated having David-Lloyd mouth many of the elite: when Morgan Evans returns from characters’ lines, narrate stage directions, his tour of Oxford talking incessantly, and even stop the play to revise the Miss Moffat wonders, “If three days at action in real time. It works. If The Corn Oxford can do that to you, what would is Green is a memory play, the memories you be like at the end of three years?” belong to the playwright; he deserves As an Oxford student, I should be to be recognised as their container. abashed. Instead, I’m as delighted as if The set is initially sparse, but Morgan Evans pointed at me from grows like a living thing as the stage and shouted “You!” Williams fleshes out the I guess I’m a sucker for world of his childhood – redemptive quality “Miss Moffat sees the the shabby schoolroom of learning, and the of Act Two transforming places where we do the gifted mind into a proper place of it. Although Morgan learning by Act Three, Evans’ background hidden beneath the wallpaper and carven is vastly different armrests and all. from mine, we both grease and irreverThere’s nothing quite came to Oxford for as pretty as a National the same reason: ence [...] it’s like My Theatre production. s e l f- i m p r o v e m e n t .

But if the stage Perhaps that’s the Fair Lady, but very, ultimate is a pretty thing, the sentiment true glory of The Corn is of The Corn is Green – very Welsh. ” the right teacher, Green is in its deference to with the people on that stage. My the right student, and the working theory is that someone right attitude, can change many at the National Theatre clapped their lives for the better. Oxlove to that. hands and said, “Let’s stage a play about the indomitable human spirit”. After The Corn is Green continues its run all, Morgan Evans’ emergence from the at the National Theatre until 11 June. dirt into the light is a straightforward metaphor. The play gives credit to the Image credit: Elliott Brown / CC BY-SA

E S H OU T R

Plenmeller House by Tom W. McGrath

Under the covers, inside the walls, The wind shuffles in from the West, Rabbits potter in the grass, And the pheasants lay down to rest.

This is the country, As it is in itself, Its shares in green hills, Space and air its wealth.

The pipes are ticking again, As we clear away the debris, Revealing the front door, And its old, simple majesty.

The old cottage and the grand house, Mixed, melded and clinging on, Against the turning, Against the winter’s song.

I have seen the fight, The floor and the damp I have seen the darkness, But I read by my bedside lamp.

Firelight leaps upon us, Primordial and true, It’s what we are, Not humans blue.

Return to Plenmeller, Where the sheep are safe, And we the sheep follow the shepherd, Where powerless are the governor and the wraith.

16

CE

Edmund Burke once defined the Sublime as the strongest emotion that the mind—and perhaps the soul—is capable of feeling. It is an indescribable quality of greatness experienced by humankind. This concept of the Sublime captured the attention of many poets, especially throughout the Romantic era. The Sublime can be terrible or beautiful, but it must inspire awe. This week, our writers grapple with various concept of the Sublime and attempt to define it through their creative works.

Alive by Matthew Holland Warm up by Shiraz We barrel down the winding roads, With nothing to stop skidding over the side.

Stacked up high with a valuable load.

Rather this; to live, than to die.

Grey smoke from small cooking fires, Burns my lungs. Wrenches my heart To see their straights so dire.

Not to share the pain, nor take my part.

Vapiwala

Rapid breath to warm our lungs, As ice vapourously plunges their depths.

We haven’t swam in air so thin in months.

We feel more solid here.

Weighty in contrast of our bodily warmth, We itch and fidget for comfort, Our self-caresses out of necessity, Our steaming mouths contentedly Gasping.

Though thin, our breathy laugh On emergence Draws thick paintings through the air Gone before we make the next.

As they twist, nebular and light, A decisive form, like its painter, To feel the danger is to know you’re alive, Never complete until it disappears.

When you see the gazelles on the plains; The skyline stretches across endless miles, As the sun burns twice as bright Over this land so sweet and so wild.

One sees all at this godly height.

A triumphant beauty and I know I’ve arrived; A beauty that soothes my aches and pains.

17

Soirée

Celebrate the end of Trinity Term and another successful year of Cherwell Tickets now live!

Get your first release ticket before they sell out by scanning this QR code:

OUR LINEUP: Oxford University Jazz Orchestra Ensemble

Rusty Kate In celebration of another great term and year, 15 successful print editions, and 100(ish) years of Cherwell, we’re excited to invite you to join us at FREUD on Thursday, 16 June for drinks, dancing, and good vibes.

Come for a free drink, live music, and Freud’s sparkly atmosphere. Dress code is Cocktail, and doors open at 8pm! We can’t wait to see you all there!!!

Who Killed Tommy?

18

Life

Chaiiwala: My refuge outside the city

Hamzah Sheikh explores the significance of Chaiiwala to British Asian communities.

W

hen I tell people ‹I›m off to Chaiiwala for breakfast› or ask people to ‹join me for afternoon tea at Chaiiwala›, I›m often met with as much reservation, as though I›d told them I was off to Paris or London. It seems that, despite the vibrancy of Cowley Road, most Oxford students are content to stay on their side of Magdalen bridge. Obvious exceptions to this are, of course, people in search of halal food and those headed to the Bullingdon for a night out (two groups that aren›t as mutually exclusive as you might expect) - but today I will argue that the occasional crossing for Chaiiwala is indeed worth the trek. But what on earth, I hear you ask, is Chaiiwala?

Translating to ‹tea monger›, the phenomenon unites a northern British postindustrial aesthetic with a menu composed of quintessentially Indian street food. Kebab rolls, pav bhaji, masala chips and paneer The ‹Indian Starbucks› is best described as a café which unites East and West. Served on metal trays, cutlery optional, under pendant lanterns and images of the Taj Mahal, the food captures a unique, homely feel. It is, dare I say, the only place in Oxford which caters for the Asian palate, offering slightly more obscure dishes than the local curry house (but you

in 2015. It sits on Evington Road, the centre of Leicester›s Muslim community, a stone›s throw from Masjid Umar, a purpose-built mosque. A small, narrow shop, it rarely saw a quiet moment, and queues often stretched onto the pavement.

The Chaiiwala formula proved incredibly successful, and franchises opened across the city.

The food continued to be served on top of a fake newspaper, dated Monday the 15th of August, 1947, reporting Indian and Pakistani independence from the British Raj. And the same image of the Taj Mahal can be found at all of its locations.

Chaiiwala proved one of the few businesses which effectively crossed the invisible divide between Leicester›s Indian and Pakistani communities, and the introduction of a vegetarian-only menu proved hugely successful when it later opened on Melton Road, the centre of Leicester›s Hindu community.

The chain found common ground between these two nationalities, despite their divergent identities, by harkening back to a common historical ancestry - and a shared independence date (Pakistan now commemorates its independence day on the 14th of August, in part to differentiate its independence from that of India). The Taj Mahal, a feat of Moghul industry and wealth, remains a powerful image of the strength of a united South Asia.

Most of all, though, Chaiwala unites British Asian communities through their common love of tea.

Karak Chai, which translates to ‹strong tea›, or just ‹tea› in a household like mine, is the central pillar around which Chaiiwala›s success is built.

Sure, it has little on my grandma›s homebrew. But the tea, like much of what is served at Chaiiwala, is less about authenticity and more about what it should taste like. The falooda, with its sweetness and the hit of rose, isn›t what we›d drink at home,

The event that you have been organising will be a great success. Do not fear the potential cults that might arise from this.

This vacation, work on your selfcare. Encase yourself in a cocoon and evolve into your ultimate form.

CAPRICORN

SAGITTARIUS During exams, a good routine is necessary.

Cry a little in the morning, try a longer cry before your exam, and two to three shorter crying sessions before bed.

Manifest your destiny. Unfortunately for you, your destiny is to

LIBRA

Chaiiwala took up residency on Cowley Road, just past Cafe Baba, 1.4 miles from the Carfax.

A stone›s throw from Oxford Central Mosque, visiting it has become a Friday ritual for me. The keema and roti, a childhood favourite of mine, is the closest I›ve come to a homesickness pill. The clocks show the times in London, Mumbai and Delhi, and the same image of the Taj Mahal covers one of the walls. Perhaps I am biased, being from Leicester, but it is one of the nicest cafés in Oxford.

With plug sockets for students to work, a large window for people-watching, and a £1.75 housebrew, it›s become my little refuge outside the city.

If only someone would buy their next-door roommate a present for being such a good friend. I’m manifesting that this someone is you.

The Oxford University Islamic Society has had a few socials there, and there’s often a post-Friday prayer rush of customers. Listening carefully to the languages being spoken and watching the might as well be in Delhi or Mumbai (granted, I›ve never been to either, but that›s not the point).

The point, I suppose, is that if all it takes to transport yourself to South Asia for a while is to walk up Cowley Road for twenty minutes, I›m not sure why more people aren›t doing it. If anyone needs me, I›ll be at Chaiiwala.

Note: Chaiiwala did not sponsor me to write this, but I sure wish they did. I am broke.

time I visited, I sat next to an Asian medic couple, who were discussing what diseases they›d rather

coloured, but when served with almonds and pistachio and saffron (saffron powder) it might as well be the real deal: Kashmiri chai, boiled for hours with baking soda and salt until the green tea turns red. Chaiiwala›s Karak Chai is an anglicisation almost a mistranslation - but one that is incredibly popular with the Asian community, nonetheless.

To me, this strange hybrid tea, born in Leicester, has captured the essence of British Asian existence. And from the reviews of my English friends who I have brought to Chaiiwala, its perfect

Horoscopes... TAURUS SCORPIO

inauthenticity is quite well-received by them too.

John Evelyn

An inside look at the Oxford Union

What a horrible term. John Evelyn is glad to see the back of it. (Soon at least) I have had the ultimate displeasure of watching this car crash from the back seat. I am simply appalled by everyone. A plague on every slate. What an absolute waste of a trinity. Best of luck to all candidates, you may well be inheriting an Empire of Dirt.

Get some lives, John Evelyn

PISCES

AQUARIUS

if you eat all the confetti you see.

Assert your dominance by being the person who coughs constantly and stresses everyone else out.

GEMINI

Worried about something? Try posting about it on Oxfess a few thousand times and not doing anything else.

VIRGO Wishing you the absolute best: try not to get married anytime soon and make sure to visit when you are gone!

CANCER Troubled by university life?

A less stressful option might be to abandon civilization and live in the woods as a feral creature.

ARIES

Your lucky number is 1,389. Your unlucky shape is the stellated octahedron.

Your cause of death will be the Great Hamster Crisis of 2046.

LEO

Your fashion game has been getting better. I do not know what changed but remember to bring these vibes into the summer.

Artwork by Ben Beechener

19

Cherpse!

Zainab and Beau Zainab First impressions?

They had good style and seemed really sweet.

Did it meet your expectations?

So much better, I didn’t think I’d meet someone who I got along with so well.

What was the highlight?

Honestly the whole date was really nice, but the best part was realising how many mutual friends we have.

Where is Rusty Kate?

Everyone at Cherwell humbly apologises for the absence of our dear leader, Rusty Kate, due to a bout of postcoital exhaustion. The Life Editors have been tearing their hair and lamenting in the streets, for the only thing keeping people reading Cherwell Life has succumbed to the thing she always warned us against.

After nobly advising us on everything from erectile dysfunction to jewellery theft, Rusty has let the job offers from fascist dictators and successful lawsuits against Miss Take go to her head. Following a night of passion with several Plush staff members, she has informed our tedious Messenger group chats that she has lost command of the English language. How quickly they forget their generous print allocation.

Thank you, though, Rusty, for all your service. And we can’t wait for your set next Thursday at Freud! (Events dep note: shamelessly appealing to the drag queen stans here).

What was the most embarrassing moment?

There wasn’t one.

Here’s Rusty getting ready for the soirée...

Describe the date in three words: Fun, chill, enjoyable.

Is there a second date on the cards?

No, but we’re friends now and we’re meeting again later this week to hang out.

“Always nice to welcome people into your safe space.”

Behind the scenes of Cherpse Life Editors Michaela Esau and Katerina Lygaki spill their match-making secrets.

Beau

First impressions?

I thought Zainab was really cool - we have quite a few things in common and it was nice to .

Did it meet your expectations?

The date exceeded my expectations - couldn’t be happier with how it all unfolded :)) What was the highlight?

Having drinks in my room :)) always nice to welcome people into your own safe space.

What was the most embarrassing moment?

When we got turned away from Spoons because I didn’t have my ID on me in the moment! But that worked for the best in the end .

Describe the date in three words: Shits and giggles.

Is there a second date on the cards?

Platonically, if that’s what you mean. They’re an amazing presence to be around and a friendship

Looking for love?

Email lifestylecherwell@gmail.com or message one of our editors

C

upid here, your one and only source into the scandalous lives of Oxford’s sleep-deprived and somewhat crazed students…

Things are bleak in the Oxford dating scene… I have seen it all. The good, the bad, and the ugly. Well, let’s be honest, mostly the ugly. Even though I delude myself into thinking that I am as cool as my ‘Gossip Girl’ counterpart, here at Oxford, there can be no fun without some administrative process adding spice and getting in the way.

For you to understand my pain, you have to understand the intricate world of Cherpse. At the beginning of each term, I buckle down to business and try to think of the best questions to ask the people in order to work my magic.

Distributing the form and getting people involved is easy enough – it is extremely slim pickings out there and my services have eons of experience to back them. The same goes for my match-making skills. Drinking a glass of Tesco’s own ‘Juicy Rosé’ and consoling my holy book, ‘Cosmopolitan’, picking people that sound compatible is always a good time.

Having made my couples, I then shoot out my arrows with an invitation for a coffee date at ‘The Missing Bean’, and life seems good. I have my act together, I know what I am doing, and I am excited for our 0th week edition to come out. And then disaster strikes.

To bring my dear readers all the details of meeting, I require one simple thing – that my

Another one of my incredible short-comings went. It’s little to ask after I brought them in the dating world happened last term, when their soulmate. Some people completely air I managed to spark a connection in the wrong me; others keep on getting my hopes up with couple. During the date that I had so carefully sweet nothings like ‘I will get the form back to set up for a coffee, one person on the date you tomorrow’ when tomorrow never comes; seemed to enjoy themselves whilst the other and others straight up refuse to answer my person seemed to … well, not agree. Instead questions. But that doesn’t mean that I am also not part of the problem – trust me, I am. date, the former left the date deciding to Sometimes, the love match I so carefully crafted gets a little lost in the Facebook embarrassed at my match-making skills, but Messenger translation. When the Cherpse technically I managed to get a couple together deadline looms, I occasionally have to so I will not dwell on the whos and hows. redirect my arrow to If my matches were a heart that’s more… always this cursed, I’d “Instead of finding a responsive. When two have to retire my bow connection, the former of my daters backed and reluctantly go join left the date deciding to out, instead of telling the herd of Tinder users. their matches that the But, dear Cherwell reconnect with an old date was off, I sent the readers, don’t fear – I’ve flame.” remaining partners on had my fair share of a date together. After successes.

I even all, it’s a blind date. Who’s to know if the matched two Cherwell editors together and person they meet at OXO bar or Uni parks isn’t the same person I originally carefully manage to orchestrate a love connection, I’ve selected for them? That was my thinking helped people discover new friendships, bars, until I received a message, asking whether or and that Missing Bean gives out free pastries not I had set up the date as a joke. They were at closing time. And, if this glimpse into my such an incompatible match that my daters process made you doubt my abilities, the good believed I had put them together as a prank.

Turns out humans aren’t interchangeable – Oxford with a fresh bag of golden arrows at the who would’ve thought – and when someone start of Michaelmas. With that, I will leave requests “no tories”, you shouldn’t go ahead you, wishing you the best of luck on all your and pair them with an OUCA member. dates. XOXO, Cupid.

20

Features The life-sucking vampire: Exams and the logic of capitalism Elena Rotzokou examines the emotional cost of exams and their role in perpetuating contemporary productivity culture.

CW: suicide, mental illness

T

here is good reason to believe that Mared Foulkes was going to enjoy her life as a pharmacist. At 21, she was a devoted pharmacy student at the University of Cardiff who was pursuing her career aspirations doggedly by also working part-time as a chemist. It all came to a halt on 8th July 2020. On that day, an automated email popped into her inbox folder, bearing no tidings other than that she had failed a practical exam with a score of 39%. Failing at an exam that she had resat in April 2020 did not simply compound her devastation, but shattered her outlook on the future ahead of her; the automated email read like a death warrant, indicating that she had failed the second year of her degree and would be unable to proceed to the third year. And a death warrant of sorts it was, as in the same evening that she received it, she voluntarily fell off Brittania Bridge, near the Welsh island of Anglesey, from where she hailed. It turned out that the fateful email did not include the re-sit mark, which was a perfectly decent 62%.

The incident generated considerable shock across several news outlets, raising what by now appear to be perennial questions regarding students’ mental health and universities’ responsibility toward that, the failings of institutional administration, and, of course, the tremendous pressure overwhelming students as soon as exams rear their ugly heads on the horizon. Speaking of Mared’s suicide to Cosmopolitan, Marwah El-Murad, Programme Manager for Children and Young People at the Mental Health Foundation, assessed the situation

source of joy in Mared’s life that many of us go on: her family, friends, hobbies… And yet, infuriatingly absurd as the thought of it is, it is far from implausible that a single number should have decided on whether Mared clung to life or not, determining as it potentially did whether she’d retain her job at the pharmacy and embark, in the long run, on a career that’d enable her to make work… work and love, that’s all there is,” as Freud once said (to put myself on the line by using a cliché, not that clichés aren’t often self-respect stems from self-actualisation; remost tied to work and achievement. The chain makes up life’s linchpins and, should one link snap, the remnant may as well be of no use, beyond repair. This is no abstract social reality: 29% of the 201 people aged between 10 and 19 who killed themselves in 2014 in the UK were facing exams or exam results, according to a study by the University of Manchester, while the University of the West of England Bristol released a report demonstrating that half of the suicides committed by young people studying there between 2010 and 2018 occurred between January and April, an exam preparation period.

Exams are no innocent societal instrument – merely a handy tool through which out individuals of questionable competency from the top echelons of the labour market.

They are that; but, precisely because they are that, they have also come to be a matter

“Exams are no innocent societal instrument – merely a handy tool through which to quantify knowledge and, ultimately, filter out individuals of questionable competency from the top echelons of the labour market. as followsassessed the situation as follows: “The pressures put on students to achieve academically can lead to experiences of perfectionism. Worrying about either your own expectations of yourself or expectations others have of you can lead to feelings of panic and anxiety.”

The issue of administrative incompetence vis-à-vis students’ mental wellbeing is grave, but equally (if not more) terrifying is one exam’s enormous power over the life of a young, hard-working, ambitious woman.

This one exam overshadowed every other

of life and death.

Dramatic as this may sound, it addresses a profoundly troubling logic intrinsic to exams, which, non-coincidentally, is also the logic of neoliberal capitalism. Capitalism functions as a multi-powered mechanism converting time, energy, and life quality into quantities: 95,000 Volkswagens produced in six months, 16 customised business psychology training courses offered in two days, 300 emails sent out in 15 hours, 20,000 Philip Morris cigarettes churned out in the space of a minute. Time and volume

have come to evolve into neoliberal spectres, the mainstay of a bastardised value system, whereby the greater the volume produced within the shortest time possible, the more valuable a person’s service to society is and the worthier of remuneration they are. One data analyst in telecommunications may be no less skilled, intelligent, and motivated than her colleague in an adjacent cubicle, but, unlike her, she winds up failing to progress to a higher-paying role in the company because her manager’s evaluation report is not as positive as the one on her colleague’s performance. Her father’s recent illness has taken a heavy emotional toll on her that has impinged on her productivity levels by causing her concentration capacity

A week’s time is enough to assuage some of the initial pain, but with issues such as this, who can estimate how much time is enough to nurse a broken heart? The day before the exam, you’ve treated yourself to a salted caramel sundae, practiced some yoga exercises you found on YouTube that are reputed to do miracles, and dandled your best friend’s adorably chipper puppy; on the day, forty minutes before the exam, you spend some time browsing through goofy videos featuring critters whilst chomping on a chocolate bar (isn’t chocolate a joy stimulant by common wisdom?).

To cut to the chase, all your tentative mood remedies prove unavailing at 11 a.m., when are muddled up with dread over what’s

“Time and volume have come to evolve into neoliberal spectres, the mainstay of a bastardised value system.” she can focus on cleaning an entire data set, of her family overwhelm her, stress and sadness gnaw at her stomach, and she gives up on her goal to interpret one more set compared to the day before. Through an unfortunate convergence of circumstances, her manager happens to drop by her cubicle for an update on that particular day rather than the previous one, and it is by another stroke of sheer bad luck that he decides to whip up that evaluation report that’s been somewhat overdue that same evening. Perhaps he had a bad day too? It doesn’t matter, really.

Productivity is not a metaphysical formula according to which a set of skills, once acquired, are ever retrievable at will in order to yield a predictable value; on the contrary, it is rooted in time, space, and sensation, and therefore prey to mood and mental wellbeing. A capitalist economy’s venerated equation of ‘minimal input (maximal effort squeezed into a minimal time span) = maximal output = highest-valued performance’ clashes jarringly with but cannot afford to take stock of factors beyond people’s control that interfere with their productivity capacity. If it did take account of those in practice, the system would end up malfunctioning.

Exams are founded on a similar value-driven logic that rewards maximal results generated in compact timeframes and whereby performativity factors separated from students’ volition such as emotion, health, luck (and even the weather), are subservient to the paramount need to ace the test on a particular day and at a particular time.

You’ve been grinding away preparing for your Calculus II end-of-year examination and other healthy sources of happiness because your ability to survive on your own in the future without depending on your parents is at stake with this one exam. A week before the test, you receive a text from it’s better you two have a break for a while following not a few rough patches recently.

in store for you next week and envisaged paintings of pitch-blackness (with a single white dot rotating in the middle) that are beyond bizarre – an explosive concoction chipping away at your brain at the most inopportune time. Needless to say, you simply cannot crank up your brainpower to the fullest for a sustained period of an hour and a half on that particular day. You are acutely aware of your ‘failure’ and in absolute shame. You no longer know what to do with your life. And yet, despite the worst day of your young life happening to be an exam day, the highly intricate machine that is society has to go on functioning by recruiting talent to quantify it and produce mass services to meet people’s needs. Educational institutions are inevitably, of course, at the labour market’s own service, as the transcripts they yield are passes authenticating which individuals

the simplest primary school English test and evolving into a multi-level executive leadership assessment used to identify suitability for C-suite level roles makes up one single process aimed at maximising output whilst wedging maximal effort into minimal time spans (e.g. solving thirty equations in under two hours; sending out nineteen customised emails to clients within an hour and twenty minutes).

The parallelism between the workings of capitalism and exams in education strikes one as less of a startling epiphany with the help of some historical brushing up. While it was ancient China that kicked off the world’s most popular mode of assessment, known at the time as the imperial examination set up by the Sui Dynasty in 605 AD and abolished in 1905, it wasn’t until the advent of industrialisation proper in the western world that exams came eventually to dominate education. In 1806, the midst of the Industrial Revolution, England

21

adopted an examination system modelled on the Chinese imperial exam that was geared towards recruiting candidates for roles in Her Majesty’s Civil Service. This system was later co-opted by the educational system and had been standardised, by the end of the two World Wars, across the world. Exams gained traction as capitalism took over the West, one life-sucking “vampire” (in Karl Marx’s words) breeding another.

Alarming as the logic underpinning exams is, the question of their disposability hinges on how viable alternative methods of assessment are. Rather than through, say, six high-stakes tests at the end of the academic year, students could instead be evaluated via twelve smaller-scale projects or assignments over the course of nine months. Rutgers University’s Information Technology hub has come up with several alternative assessment types in lieu of proctored exams, including open-book, take-home questions, professional presentations, fact sheets, as well as peer- and self-reviely weighted tests – each one a looming behemoth to be tamed. Having to tackle double as many, yet individually less weighted, assignments throughout an extended time period rather than in a compact timeline feels more manageable and is therefore better for your mental health. Your life does not seem as irrepressibly miserable. Stress being (literally) lethal, happier people should make for more productive students (and professionals).

More humane as non-traditional assessment methods may be in comparison to timed exams, they are not necessarily more conducive to long-term professional success nowadays. There is, perhaps, a semi-ethical question to be teased out of the matter: given that the recruitment procedure and job market are what they are these days, operating via a process of massive filtering out and generating voluminous output in increasingly fractional time spans, would educational institutions (especially universities) be justified in preparing the young adults they educate to face something other

This does not, nevertheless, change the fact that contemporary employment is structured around a system that valorises speed and quantity, distinguishes (even discriminates in favour of) individuals that persevere through enormous stress as somehow ethically formidable, and which thrives on opposites (the more the input and the lesser the timeframe, the worthier the performance). Inuring young people in this process from their early formative years in education may be a blessing as much as

“Stress being (literally) lethal, happier people should make for more productive students (and professionals).” than this reality? Don’t exams simulate a job application process that is becoming more and more automated and stress-inducing?

Major companies have begun migrating from interpersonal interviewing to automated video interview software such as HireVue, which expedite the hiring process by relying on assessment-scoring algorithms and special AI that analyse candidates’ tone of voice, mannerisms, and facial movements – “a profoundly disturbing development,” according to the co-founder of an AI research centre in New York. Formatted around rigid timing, very much as an exam is, HireVue provides the interviewee with thirty seconds in which to prepare for each question, alongside three minutes to answer each. It also gives candidates access to practice questions prior to the interview proper, in the same way that students often have the opportunity to accustom themselves to examination mode by working on practice or past tests. Alternative assessment methods would not, of course, detract from the kind or level of rigour with which professionals are evaluated in a given role during their career; consistent independent or collaborative projects hewed to deadlines are, after all, bread and butter as far as most jobs are concerned.

it is a curse to mental wellbeing. Health, I see you’re about to object, should always trump success, career, and achievement. No doubt; a large portion of happiness, though, depends on employment. A stress-free life that is also devoid of fulfilling, remuneratively viable employment is a contradiction.

Getting to enjoy the benefits of a job you’ve been through thick and thin to secure feels as gratifying as the mental and emotional state you get to dwell in after giving your-

also an often truthful observation.

As long as altering specific social functions (e.g. the current hiring process) remains impractical and even deleterious within the context of how societies operate, we might as well make do with certain contradictions, more so than with others. People have died as a result of exams, but so have people owing to heartbreak, and I’ve yet to come across a magazine relationships columnist encouraging people to cease dating and turn to exclusively solo activities to fill the void of companionship. The logic of exams may infuriate you as degrading and humiliating (as a Guardian columnist suggests indirectly), but it is not quite as inhumane as corporal punishment. Heartbreak may well be harder.

This is a harsh response, however. Rather than justifying the educational assessment method in place on the grounds that it benefits students by programming them to survive in a professional world that depends on similar structures, it is in the name of human life and the value of human wellbeing that reform is an ethical imperative. I do not advocate for discarding exams altogether because, given how professional environments operate, they remain a system that facilitates social adaptation - for better or worse. What I do endorse is lessening the impact of exams on a student’s overall mark for a given class or course by putting greater weight on some of the non-traditional

“As long as altering specific social functions remains impractical, we might as well make do with certain contradictions.” self fully to a hard and stressful exam. The more gruelling the conditions, the more viscerally fulfilling the eventual reward, and the greater the self-actualisation: the dangerously deceptive cornerstone of capitalism camouflaged as a well-meaning cliché and unmistakably wise life tenet, but

methods I referred to. Thankfully, there are existent such examples to be inspired by, and one needs look nowhere further afield than Oxford. The final mark for Oxford’s MSc in Global Governance and Diplomacy emerges cumulatively out of three assessment components: two exams (25% each), a disserta-

tion (25%), and two papers (12.5% each). In this structure, exams sensibly account for 50% of a student’s final mark, giving candidates who may be unsuited to the psychology of exams the opportunity to demonstrate their potential in different ways. Moreover, the university runs the so-called Student Support Plan, which provides certain students with adjustments in relation to how their course is evaluated or the conditions under which exams take place. The plan focuses primarily on modifying the ways in which exams are conducted to suit the needs of particular students (by presenting, for example, certain materials in enlarged formats, offering extra rest or writing time during an exam, etc.), but it does permit implementing an alternative method of assessment to unseen written examinations (e.g., extended essays, take-home papers) in certain cases. It is regrettable that qualifying for the Plan is a matter of extremely mitigating circumstances: the support is geared primarily towards students with disabilities.

It responds, therefore, to a non-negotiable health imperative (certain people simply cannot sit an exam) rather than recognising the equally important issue of students’ mental wellbeing.

Still, that even a university like Oxford provides room for alternative assessment methods is a source of hope to those of us who have grown impatient (physically, emotionally, and ideologically) with exams’ frenziedly neoliberal ethic of productivity.

One is left wondering about the potential correlation between particular governments a n dthe assessment methods in place in a given national context; or, in the case of increasingly privatised educational institutions, that between the political leanings of an institution’s governing body and the greater or lesser prominence it gives to exams. It may ultimately be the case that clamouring for change in the ways in which students are assessed is inextricable from advocating change in the way in which institutions are governed.

Image credit: I2ho7p / CC BY-SA 4.0 via Wikimedia Commons

22

Columns Profit over People: the Glencore way

Lay Mohan delves into the devious dealings of a multinational corporation.

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lencore Plc pled guilty to charges of bribery and market manipulation in the US, agreeing to pay $1.1bn in criminal fines and forfeiture, including $700million in penalties relating to a scheme of foreign bribery spanning seven countries.

Glencore is a multinational commodity trading and mining company, ranked tenth in the Fortune Global 500 list of the world’s largest companies. It controls over half the global copper and zinc trade, nearly a quarter of all barley and 10% of the world’s wheat trade, so if it didn’t help make the battery in your car or phone, it probably still put the cornflakes on your breakfast table this morning.

As part of the scheme, millions in bribes were paid to foreign officials in Mexico, Brazil, Venezuela and the DRC, amongst others, in order to earn commodities contracts and avoid regulations and audits. As one U.S. Attorney, Damian Williams, stated whilst delivering the announcement of Glencore’s

guilty pleas, ‘Glencore paid bribes to make money’, and did so in the many millions.

labour rights violations, including the use of behalf of the US Justice department that child labour, as well as regular tax fraud on bribes were paid by Glencore in the millions the milder side of things. not due to the The details exposed through the investinegligence, From its conception, Glengation paint a picture of an at-times cartoonbut ‘the apcore has been a company that ishly underhand operation, with code words proval, and not only places profit over “As far as poor business like ‘newspapers’ and ‘chocolates’ reportedly people and planet, but actively practices go, this is certainly even encourbeing used by traders when discussing bribes disregards the value of the not Glencore’s first rodeo.” agement, of its in writing, with one intermediary emailing top execulatter two unless serving some a correspondent that ‘the newspapers will tives’.

Repurpose in the pursuit of the be delivered’ by them in person, and soports of the investigation mention three exformer. Glencore founder Marc Rich once called ‘cash-desks’ being run out of offices famously said of corporate transparency due ecutives, all unnamed who condoned and in Switzerland and London as recently as to public listing that it “limits your activity, oversaw illicit payments and transactions.

2016, where, one can only imagine, wads Two of the three are easily identified as Alex to be sure, but it’s just a new strategy to of cash and gold bars were stuffed into grey Beard, head of oil from 2007 to 2019, and which they have to adapt”. The Glencore briefcases and carried nimTelis Mistakidis, head of copper till 2018. business model is bly away by long-coated, (Consider ‘Executive 1’, for example, as one essentially just cigar-smoking, bowler endless exploitaunnamed exec is referred to in reports, who hatted men with beady eyes “The details exposed the DOJ said had agreed to the use of $14mn tion and expanand whiskery moustaches. through the investigation to pay bribes to Nigerian officials and who is sion, executed As far as poor business paint a picture of an at-times ruthlessly and with described as a ‘UK citizen’ who, in their role, practices go, this is certainly cartoonishly underhand ‘had responsibility over Glencore’s sale and a presumptuous not Glencore’s first rodeo. operation.” disregard for the purchase of oil worldwide’ from 2007 to Unethical and corrupt, 2019. Who might that be? I guess we’ll never law of any and or as headlines love to know.) Of Beard, Mistakidis and Glasenberg, all governments. describe them: ‘murky’ Its founder crenot one has faced so much as a slap on the and ‘sleazy’, tactics have been essential to wrist. ated and embodied this model, making over the Glencore way since its founding in 1974. $2.5bn with the company by selling oil and Image Credit: Unsplash The NYT describes Glencore’s methods in minerals on behalf of the likes of Saddam the following characteristically cautious Hussein before going on the run for over 17 terms: “Among the hallmarks of its business years having been indicted on 65 criminal approach is a higher tolerance for politically counts, only to be pardoned by Bill Clinton murky situations, which translates into a on his [Clinton’s] last day in office. It’s unwillingness to venture into countries where clear exactly how much like his predecessor rivals will not.” The list of Glencore’s bedthe new chief exec. Ivan Glasenberg is, but fellows bring together some of the most considering this headline from a 2011 Times despicable regimes and crises of the last article regarding his conduct that reads half century, ranging from apartheid South ‘Billionaire ignored children’s pleas to stop Africa to the Iraq war. Had there been oil toxic pollution from mine’, the chances of in Flanders Fields, you could be certain seeing either of them at Heaven’s pearly Glencore would bribe both sides to make a gates seems slim. buck - if only they were around then - thank Glasenberg, who oversaw the company goodness they weren’t. These days, when it’s during the period the scheme was in operanot outright dismantling the foundations of tion, could alone pay off all the fines out of democracy in developing countries, it still pocket and still have a neat £7.4bn left in the dabbles in illegal toxic waste disposal and bank. Attorney Damian Williams stated on

Oxford, then congratulations, your Nobel Prize is in the post. But more seriously, commemorated by a plaque of its own is Number 17 on Broad Street - the original Oxfam. Along with Italiamo, various Harry Potter shops and the unfortunately named Cambridge Satchel Company, it is a staple of the Broad Street frontage, but there is another plaque on the building, and this one just happens to be blue.

It reads; ‘Cecil Jackson-Cole 1901-1979 Entrepreneur and Philanthropist helped establish the first Oxfam Shop and office here in 1947’.

This then, is the story behind the man who helped begin a world-wide charity to alleviate poverty, and one which gives us access to many classic books for low prices.

Cecil Jackson-Cole was born on the 1st of November 1901 in Forest Gate, East London to Albert Edward Cole and Nellie Catherine Jackson. He spent his childhood constantly moving around and never spent much time at the Thomas Bristow tells the schools he attended. In 1911, the family were story of the Oxonian who living in Grays in Essex, where Albert worked founded Oxfam. as a shoe dealer and Nellie was a China and Glass merchant. The family moved again, and Cecil left education s far as charity shops at the age of 13 to go, Oxfam is perhaps work as an Office “Oxfam themselves claim Boy, which he the most famous.

You can usually find that the Broad Street shop subsequently left was the UK’s first ever some quite good things in in 1918. After the charity shop.” their shops, and nearly every war, he became town has one, including my the manager own small town back home. of his father’s As a student, they can be a saving grace when furniture and letting business, and eventually searching for hideous bop costumes or more bought him out with his savings. In 1928, Cecil sustainable clothing in general. Perhaps enrolled at Balliol College to study Economics it’s the eclectic nature of charity shops that and improve his business acumen. Aptly, Balwe find so appealing. But if you had already liol is of course located directly opposite where guessed that Oxfam is somehow related to Cecil was to found his first Oxfam.

Cecil Jackson-Cole: The first Philanthrocapitalist

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By his early 30s, Cecil was beginning to feel the physical effects of the tough economic times, and he entered a nursing

home for a short while. Afterwards, he relocated his business interests to Oxford and lived just outside the city in Boar’s Hill. Here his neighbour was the Classical scholar Gilbert Murray, who was a member of a support group for the National Famine Relief Committee. This had been set up in 1942 in order to advocate for the Greek people who were suffering starvation from wartime blockading. In 1942 Cecil offered to be the Honorary Secretary of Gilbert’s subsidiary support group, the Oxford Committee for Famine Relief. This was the original seed from which a global initiative was to develop.

At the end of the war, famine relief committees eventually disbanded, but Cecil saw a future for their work within post-war Europe. In 1948, it was decided that the

successful fundraising of the charity could be scaled up. Jackson-Cole was a firm believer that business should involve charity, and for the next five years he was instrumental in the expan-sion of Oxfam.

During the 1950s, BBC Radio appeals increased the presence of Oxfam in the public sphere. Cecil retained interest in the charity until his death in 1979, by which time it had far exceeded the borders of even Oxfordshire.

Autonomous Oxfams had been set up in Canada, the United States and Belgium. Today however, it is a confederation of 21 charities, with its headquarters in Nairobi. Oxfam has even become the largest retailer of second-hand books in Europe, with around 100 shops selling everything from pamphlets to rare first editions.

Though it is disputed, Oxfam themselves claim that the Broad Street shop was the UK’s first ever charity shop.

Aside from Oxfam, Cecil Jackson-Cole founded many other trusts and charities such as Action Aid in 1972, to provide disadvantaged children with education. He had a pragmatic vision which pioneered modern philanthropism by effecting social change in a business-like way. It is a testament to his effectiveness that most of the organisations he founded are still around today.

23

Sport

Tales from the archives: The Secret History of Oxford Punting The Punting Cuppers Team presentes an insight into the history of punting at Oxford ahead of Cuppers this month,

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ith the Final Seed of Punting Cuppers just around the corner, we share three of the more intriguing anecdotes from the records of the competition, dwelling upon the more subversive and revolutionist undercurrents that swept along some of our Oxford punts.

Though Punting Cuppers is often considered a “stuffy bastion of flat Englishness,” one can easily determine, from nought but a perusal of the ensuing yarns, that the history of this quintessentially Oxonian sport is only too chequered.

The first legible entry in the annals of Oxford punting is – perhaps predictably – a good old-fashioned ghost story. Veteran punters will no doubt be aware of Percie Punting, the patron saint of competition punting, who, as legend has it, spent thirty years punting the length and breadth of England to escape the reproaches of his “Shrewishe and Nagginge Wyfe”. In the years after his death (c. 1840), the so-called Phantom Puntsman morphed into a popular mascot for students boating on Cherwell, becoming the subject of ballads and drinking-songs.

One still May night in 1913, the officials of the newly founded Punting Cup were making their way up to Parson’s Pleasure to clear the course for the next morning’s race, when they

spied a peculiar light in the distance: “P.P. – coming down the Piste as we were putting away the fallen branches – what a joy!

He waved at us and bade us sing of him on the morrow. P.P., P.P. – what a sheer joy!”

Was it in fact an epiphany of the Ghostly Boatsman that the proctors (among whom was none other than Aldous Huxley) spied? Or just a phantasm borne of too much late-night port?

Unfortunately, the true facts are lost to time.

Protesting social issues by jumping in front of races has a long and illustrious history in this country From Emily Wilding Davison to Trenton Oldfield, countless activists have seized the limelight of high-stakes sport to draw the eyes of the nation to vital and important issues.

The 1921 final seed of the Oxford Punting Cup was to be a grand affair: in the twenty or so years since the competition’s inception, the number of competing boats had swelled to the point where most colleges fielded a main and a reserve team (at least). And that year, there were some big names: the future novelist Graham Greene was to captain Balliol’s 1st, and no less an international celebrity than Prince Paul of Yugoslavia stood at the helm of Christchurch’s 1st.

By all accounts, it was a race hard-fought and hotly contested; but by the second-to-last bridge, the royal punt had opened a decisive lead. That was when Mary Ellen Elin, a student of Lady Margaret Hall and a committed suffragist, leapt in front of the Christchurch boat, wrapped in a banner reading “DEEDS NOT WORDS”. The race, now disrupted, was put off to another time; but for that day, it was the subversive message of votes for women that

took the biscuit, if not the Golden Punt.

Fast forward a few decades to the “groovy” era of the 1960s, and punt activism had become rife amongst the hipper undergraduates of the university. According to Dr Ffrench, renowned punter and ornithologist, one particularly “saucy” outcome of this development occurred in a Trinity term near the close of the decade. Writing in the ’68-70 Punting Cuppers Annal, French relates that students of Wadham College, overcome with the zeal of May ’68, decorated a punt with flowers and “sailed” down Broad Street, singing anti-war protest songs and, in general, carousing in the manner typical to that set at that time.

Finally, after some invigoration at the KA, and no doubt part-ameliorated by marijuana, they attempted to secure entry at the very doors of their college.

Though the infamous ’68 “peace punt” was equipped with wheels that had been screwed on for the purpose of land manoeuvring, it was unfortunately unequipped with brakes, and the ensuing collision between porters, students, and 17th-century oaken door, resulted in more than a half-dozen bone fractures.

The incident began to sour when the Warden, Maurice Bowra – renowned, at that time, for his acerbic wit – attacked the “peace punters” with the following couplet:

The blossom of ’68, sailing for peace in their punts, Crashed on the sturdy gate, the moronic, ambisinistrous c –.

So potent was the reputed force of his lashing tongue that some undergraduates collapsed at the spot.

Wycombe Wanderers Season Round-Up: A Rollercoaster Ride to Wembley Sam Day gives a fan’s insight into Wycombe’s rollercoaster adventure this season.

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or me, the world finally felt like it was returning to some semblance of normality as I travelled down to Devon on a balmy Tuesday evening in early August last year. Although I had seen Wycombe Wanderers begin the season with a relatively comfortable home victory over Accrington Stanley three days earlier, the long journey down to Exeter for a Carabao Cup first-round tie represented a much-anticipated return to an activity that had been sorely missing from my life since the end of February 2020: watching Wycombe play away.

On that late winter’s day in 2020, I took a train up from Oxford to South Yorkshire to see Wanderers lose meekly 3-1 against Doncaster Rovers. At the time, the result felt miserable for a whole host of reasons. Of most concern, coronavirus had been looming menacingly over Europe for a few weeks, and after reading a handful of pessimistic articles on Twitter I had already convinced myself of the tragic loss of life to come, as well as the inevitability of the associated lockdowns and social restrictions.

Consequently, as my brothers and I trudged out of Doncaster’s Keepmoat Stadium into the fading daylight, I had a strong intuition that I wouldn’t be stepping foot inside a football ground for quite some time.

Besides the global public health situation,

however, matters on the pitch also brought little cause for celebration. After a blistering start to the 2019-20 League One campaign, Wycombe – boasting the second-smallest budget in the third tier of English football – had found ourselves in an unlikely position at the top of the table at the turn of the year. However, a post-Christmas slump brought the team and fans back to reality with a hefty bump, to the extent that defeat at “Donny” represented the fifth consecutive away loss that I had attended and the seventh without a win. This included a series of dreadful performances in freezing temperatures against Portsmouth (0-2), Sunderland (0-4), and Milton Keynes (0-2). In fact, we only won one of the ten away games I managed to take in that season and scored just four goals in the process. Thus, it would be an understatement to suggest that 2019-20 hadn’t been a particularly enjoyable year to follow Wycombe around the country.

Given the abject record described above, a rational reader might question quite why I felt so excited to be sitting in the back of a mate’s car on my way to Exeter, in order to recommence a largely futile and somewhat costly endeavour?

The first part of the answer to such a question lies with the events of the intervening 18 months, which had transformed my hometown team into an entirely new proposition. As

predicted, Wycombe didn’t play another game after the Doncaster loss before the burgeoning Covid crisis forced the abandonment of the remainder of the regular football season.

Fortuitously, however, although Wanderers had been left sitting in 8th position when the league was curtailed, after much debate, drama, and throwing-of-toys-out-of-prams by certain clubs (*cough* Peterborough *cough*), the English Football League (EFL) eventually decided to determine the league’s final standings by ranking teams according to their average points-per-game. Incredibly, because Wycombe had played fewer games than the five teams directly above us, this formula catapulted the Blues up into 3rd place and secured us a spot in the playoffs. In addition, despite entering these post-season playoff games as heavy underdogs, the Chairboys (our furniture industry inspired nickname) gratefully took advantage of this big slice of luck by beating first Fleetwood Town, and then local rivals Oxford United at an empty Wembley Stadium to seal promotion to the Championship. Whilst the club’s first-ever appearance in the second division of English football sadly took place behind-closed-doors and ended with controversial relegation.

Continue reading at cherwell.org

What’s on this week?

Rowing: Oriel Regatta takes place on Saturday 7th week on the Isis stretch of the river.

Cycling Women’s World Cycling Tour concludes in Oxford on Saturday of 7th week.

Water Polo Cuppers kicks off on Sunday of Week 7.

Punting Racing for Oxford Punting Cuppers will take place in Week 8.

24 Medium Sudoku

Hard Sudoku

Pencil Puzzle - Mid-loop (variant) Pencil Puzzle: 1. Draw lines through cells to make a single non-branching loop 2. The loop may go through the centres of cells horizontally or vertically, but must not go through the same cell twice.

3. The loop has to go through all black circles, with the black circle as the midpoint of the straight line segment passing through it.

4. All white circles must be inside the loop, while all triangles must be outside the loop. No line may go through a circle or triangle.

Cells separated by a black circle are in a 1:2 ratio.

Not all dots are given.

Two-Speed Crossword Cryptic Clues Across: 4. Attach carbon to light source (5) 7. Mantra I broadcast to alien (7) 8. First exam may burnout everyone, rekindle dying fire (5) 10. Speedy raid in chaos captures head of Police (5) 11. Newspaper has a problem (5) 14. What gets As in chemistry? (7) 16. Piece of writing, it’s in Spanish say (5) 17. Treated air yields partial cow products? (5) 20. I roam around mushroom kingdom? (5) 22. Immense guilt about type of code (7) 23. Can grant wishes by inserting one in gene (5)

Concise Clues Across: 4. Fastening device (5) 7. Resident of Mars (7) 8. Cinder (5) 10. Very fast (5) 11. Magazine edition (5) 14. Poison (7) 16. Piece of writing on a particular subject (5) 19. Made from milk (5) 20. Eater of mushrooms (5) 22. Guilt (7) 23. Oil lamp dweller (5)

Down: 1. Subpar as it erroneously provides passenger (8) 2. Well-organised act raises to a new level (9) 3. Every other bouncer is single (3) 5. Razor fade: a revolutionary hairstyle (4) 6. One in light sleep turning in discomfort (4) 9. Unstable particle from first measured excited state of nitrogen (5) 12. Person who digs to avert a cox crash (9) 13. P.S. Rogers messed up. Do better! (8) 15. South America greeting Japanese dish (5) 17. Croaker at every other furlong (4) 18. Blokes following nothing is a bad sign (4) 21. Valuable rock? Hear otherwise (3)

Down: 1. Organism that lives off another (8) 2. Flight of steps (9) 3. Number (3) 5. Hairstyle (4) 6. Nuisance (4) 9. Subatomic particle made from quarks (5) 12. Large machine for digging (9) 13. Move forward (8) 15. Raw fish dish (5) 17. Amphibian (4) 18. Sign for the future (4) 21. Raw mineral (3)

Send your solutions to puzzlescherwell@gmail.com

Frankly, we’re sick of Oxfess. Lawsuit it is. We. Have. Had. Enough. All this about “oxhate”, “oxlove”, “oxfeud”, “oxerection”, “oxchun”, just stop it. Grow up!

We are opening an angry lawsuit against Oxfess

Oh Well can formally announce that it is getting all the country’s top barristers, apart from that one who is a college president, to absolutely destroy Oxford’s most toxic thing other than E.coli at Port Meadows and the dodgy unknown donations behind the University.

After the lawsuit is done and dusted in a couple days time with the help of super-billionaire Rupert Murdoch, Oh Well will take on the role of producing the city’s greatest fake news in the history of fake news, possibly ever.

Oh Well’s new content will include infinite confessions about creepy staring, finding coughs in the library so irritating that I might actually slap you, over-obsessive rants about how awful Oxford is, and basically a repeat of any of the drab content on that page anyway. Oh Well’s

editors have been meaning to write really overthe-top love poetry to literal strangers for so long.

Oh Well cannot wait to see the look on the admins’ faces when they realise that they are actually as important and powerful as they once thought they were. Facebook is for old people anyway, get with the times.

Oh Well can also announce it will include a new polls section in the reformed Facebook page.

Questions include: • • • • •

Does your library college toilets stink of sh*t?

Which side does one refer to when they say “the top of Cornmarket Street”: High Street or Tesco side?

Would you rather debate 1 elephant-sized Union hack or fight 1000 Simpkin-sized University Proctors?

Is it okay to urinate in your room’s sink?

Blackwell’s or Cafe Nero?

• •

•

Is Port Meadows worth the trek?

Would you rather sit in a room with the Park End DJ guy screaming shoutouts for 5 hours or do Earth Sciences and lick rocks as your degree?

McDonald’s or kebab vans?