Shady by Dell Banks by Cheryl Francis

Prologue

Destined for Greatness……… Detroit, MI. October 14th 1998 10:13 a.m. “Be-Be, get your trifling ass in here now,” Mama yelled. My body was numb, I sobbed, covering my face with my pale pink pillow. I lay there in the middle of my full-sized bed, curled up in a fetal position, confused, thinking about what was happening to my body. “Girl, did you hear me?” Mama asked for the second time, this time barging into my bedroom. Mama‟s presence caused my body to shiver. The whaling of tears in my eyes burned. I still didn‟t respond. All I could think about was the strong stench of fresh womanhood in my room and the warm blood I‟d seen between my legs when I got up this morning to go to the bathroom. I mean, I knew something wasn‟t right because all night long, my stomach felt like that time Mama kicked me, only this time she was nowhere to be found. What had I done this time? “Bitch, get your bloody ass up and go clean my gotdamn bathroom. You nasty ass whore!” She snatched my pillow away from my face. “I...I...I‟m--” I still couldn‟t get any words out. I held my hand up in the air, bracing myself for one of Mama‟s blows. “You what? Ohh….you fucking now? Is that it? You little hoe!” Mama grabbed me by my ponytail that hung half way down my back. A quick pain shot down my back. After dragging me for what seemed like a mile down the hall of the two-bedroom apartment, we finally reached the small bathroom, which only had a standalone shower and no tub. Snapshots of mouse traps and dusty ass base boards entered my mind as I managed to get up off the cold floor. I glanced around, noticing a shatter in the mirror that wasn‟t there before. Yanking myself from my mama‟s tight grip, I stumbled on the floor again but got up quickly, wiping my tears away with my already damp shirt sleeve. Once again, I was at a stand- off with my mama. “Get that nasty shit out of my trash can. What the fuck‟s wrong with you? Leavin‟ your dirty ass draws in my bathroom. Ain‟t nobody trying to see that,” Mama yelled. Shady: A Novel

I totally ignored her. I stood there in fear, pain, and disgust, thinking about how she never taught me anything, and yet she trippin‟. How was I supposed to know that the stomach pains I felt for the last two days and the stinking blood between my legs meant that I was starting my period? Flashbacks of Ms. Shelton, my health class teacher, reminded me that this was supposed to happen at some point and time. But what about my mama? Why couldn‟t she tell me? I could feel the look of anger taking control of my face. BAM! Without warning, Mama landed a blow to my face, knocking me out of my deep thought, and slamming me to the floor. It was like lightening had struck my face. My left ear rang from the aftermath and blood crept out of my nose. “You nasty ass bitch. Clean this shit up…go get the damn Clorox,” Mama demanded. I couldn‟t cry this time. I was too angry. Why me? At a time when I needed to hear that everything was going to be alright, Old Miss Greta was on my head, as usual. I wiped my nose and stood my ground again. “Why?” “Why what? Oh, you think you‟re a woman now, huh? Talking back and shit. Well, go buy your grown ass some pads. Cuz, you shole ain‟t using mine. Shit, my own damn period just started and I don‟t get any money „til the first.” Mama‟s eyes bulged out, looking like a red-eyed demon. “Why do you treat me like this?” I asked, while removing my bloody panties from the white trash can. “Every time you and Craig get into a fight, you take it out on me.” Craig was mama‟s no-good boyfriend. They‟d been together for a little less than a year and she‟d managed to move him in and was taking care of him with the little pennies she got on the first of every month. If she didn‟t buy his Colt 45 and Newport’s when she went to the grocery store, she would get it…and then I would too. “Girl, shut the fuck up. Get this shit off my damn toilet,” she shoved my head toward the toilet. “Now, close your damn mouth…you smart ass bitch.” “Ooooo. Oooo…you wrong. I‟m your child.” My anger returned to sadness. I was nothing more than a ghetto Cinderella, living on the Northwest side of Detroit. “Whatever! Fuck what you talking about. I‟m giving you five minutes to clean my bathroom.” Mama walked out the bathroom and lit a cigarette, as if all this craziness was normal. I stood there looking in the cracked mirror, wiping my bloody nose. For a thirteen year old, I had my share of painful experiences. I‟m usually left bruised and scratched from head to toe. Mama would find the smallest thing to fight with me about. If I didn‟t fill the ice trays, she would throw an ice-cold glass of water in my face, reminding me that she liked her water, ice-cold. Like the ghetto Cinderella, you would‟ve thought I was dealing with a wicked step-mama. Sometimes I wished this was the case. At least then it wouldn‟t hurt so badly. But that wasn‟t the case, she was my real mama. My daddy was non -existent and only a figment of my imagination. Mama never talked about him and when I asked about him, she told me to go to hell. I never met him and have no clue as to what he looked like. “I don‟t hear any water running in there, Bitch,” Mama rudely interrupted my daydream. Shady: A Novel

“I‟m almost done,” I lied. “Hurry up, so you can go and get your ass some tampons.” “What‟s a tampon?” I had no clue. “Are you that fucking stupid?” she asked, darkening the opening of the bathroom door. “Huh?” I seriously had no idea what she was talking about. It wasn‟t like we had the mama/daughter talk like normal households. “Tampons are for little hoes who fuckin‟. Every month you will bleed, put a tampon up your pussy and change it every time you piss. Damn. Grown ass knows everything else. I bet you are fucking, ain‟t cha?” “What? No… I‟m a virgin and only thirteen years old.” I smirked and rebelled; knowing there was no way different and no way out. “So, what does that mean? I ain‟t no damn fool. That‟s why your ass bleeding like a sliced hog,” mama concluded.” Mama rolled off about half of the dollar-store tissue and stuffed it in my hand. “Do you know what to do with that?” she asked. “No!” “Well, what do you know? Fold it up neatly and put it in between your legs. That‟ll hold you „til you go to the store.” “Why can‟t I just use one of yours?” I asked. “Cuz, I said so! Now wash your ass, so you can go to the corner store.”

With wet tissue stuffed in between my legs, I walked to the store. Like many times before, I‟d thought about running away, but had no idea where to go. My grandmother lived by Woodward Ave., over by where they held the State Fair every summer, which was too far for me to consider walking. Yeah, I could have caught the bus, but by the time the D-O-T would come, mama would catch me and my chances of getting away would be long gone. I looked up in the sky, watching the fluffy white cotton-like clouds move slowly uncovering the brightest star. I smiled and softly spoke to God. “God please, let this end one day, soon.” My prayer was interrupted by Craig, flying by me blowing his car horn. He didn‟t even bother to offer me a ride. I often times wondered what it would be like if my real father was around; maybe mama wouldn‟t be so mean to me. It seems like she takes the anger she has for my dad, out on me. I know my real dad wouldn‟t treat me half as bad as Craig does. There‟s not a day that goes by that I don‟t think about who‟s my dad. Sometimes, while I‟m out in public, I find myself staring at men who I resemble, hoping they would walk up to me and confirm that they are my dad. But as of yet that‟s still wishful thinking. I hope to meet the man who helped create me, one day.

Shady: A Novel