AGING WELL with Dr. Michelle Kindred

Renew and Refresh Your Spirit

After the hustle and bustle of the holiday season, the house guests are gone, and the decorations are put away. Whether you are the family's matriarch or have a home where everyone gathers, aside from the love and laughter, various feelings and emotions can surface during the winter season. In some instances, ending the holiday season can trigger seasonal affective disorder (SAD). Ironically, SAD is heightened with the change of the season. Shorter daylight hours, colder temperatures, and depression can result in sedentary and solitary norms.

What do we do with all the emotions after the holidays? We tote them right into the new year. Not this year; this is where we flip the script. Take all of those triggers, depression, stress, guilt, and pain, and bag them up. Put that bag in the center of the room and acknowledge it. Acknowledge everything in it. This bag is often referred to as an emotional backpack. Open that bag and literally get to the bottom of it. Recognize your unexpressed feelings, separate the

temporary struggles, and list the top three things you want to change. Slow down and recognize when you must step back, rest, and regroup. Exchange those destructive emotions one at a time with a smile, a kind word, and a prayer.

Now, take a deep breath, sis; it's time to reset, renew, and refresh your spirit. Why? As we age, we want to do so elegantly, naturally, or, as some refer to it, aging gracefully.

Aging gracefully can be interpreted several ways, from the back-handed complemental phrase, 'You look good for your age,' to the cynical remark, 'You're not getting older, you're getting better.' Instead, I categorize our renewing and refreshing into three areas: personal looks, cognitive health, and attitude.

Renew and Refresh your Physical Appearance.

Physical appearance can encompass your dress, hairstyle, and even your signature scent. Reset your style, out with the old, in with a newer version of you. I know you can still fit those comfy leggings and oversized sweatshirts and look good in them. Perhaps you have those 'mom jeans' that you actually wore when you were

parenting the littles or that blazer with the padded shoulders in your closet from 30 years ago. This year's fashion trends favor high-waisted jeans and shoulder pads, but treat yourself to the updated version. Spice up your casual look with a trendy jogger or warm-up suit, and pair it with a modest heel, wedges, or throwback chunky sneaker.

Embrace your mane. Keeping the sprinkles of gray, natural curls and eliminating harsh chemicals can give your hair a healthy break. However, be aware natural hair requires attention, work, and conditioning products. To remove the yellowish tones and smooth the wiry-course texture from gray or brassy blond hair, look for products with centaury flowers or violet or blue pigments. Indulge yourself and visit a salon-care professional for a deep conditioning treatment, a trim, and a style to keep your tresses healthy and beautiful.

Smells, scents, and aromas to set your mood. Aside from the seasonals, you can change your body fragrances to align with your emotions – whether warm, seductive, and musky or light, fresh, and citrusy; your scent can play up a different side of you. In some ways, fragrances highlight your personality and reveal your mindset.

Renew and Refresh Your Cognitive Health.

Cognitive health involves mental acuity or keeping your mind active. Reading, journaling, learning a new language, socializing, and doing crossword puzzles, Wordle, and Sudoku can keep our mental processing sharp. It can also favor maintaining healthy relationships and being open to new friendships or adventures. Emotional checkups also keep your cognitive health at its best. If that nagging bag of emotions continues to spill out or begins to refill, pause, get in touch with the underlying emotions, and seek alternative resources like mediation, mindfulness coaching, or a professional counselor or therapist.

Renew and Refresh Your Attitude.

Attitude is where we refresh our spirit. Let's be honest; your attitude is

your signature. It can be contagious even if it fluctuates, is unstable or if you are always upbeat and happy. As the poem "Solitude" by Ella Wheeler suggests, "Laugh, and the world laughs with you; Weep and you weep alone." At least if you smile, you keep the frown lines at bay.

Some suggestions to reset your attitude include recognizing the source of the negative feelings or thoughts. Change what is within your scope. Practice gratitude and acceptance, daily affirmations, and celebrate the small things. Surround yourself with positive people and immerse yourself in things that make you happy.

I would be remiss if I did not include a few words from the good book about renewing and refreshing your spirit. Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me. Psalm 51:10 NIV

Put off your former way of life, your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be renewed in the spirit of your minds. Ephesian 4:22-23 NIV

Dr. Michelle Kindred is a Professor of Education Leadership and Science Teaching Methods for master’s and PhD programs, helping scholars unveil their true potential and give back to the field of education. Her talents include curriculum development, collegial coaching, mentoring and supervision, and substantive editing and writing. She is the executive leader and owner of Cooper Kindred Ventures, LLC, which supports underrepresented and black communities through mentoring, education, scholarship, and well-being.