INDULGE by Chester Coleman

“RIGHT IS RIGHT & WRONG IS WRONG; YOU CAN FEEL IT IN YO’ HEART WHEN YOU WRONG PERIOD!” TM

DEDICATION

TO ANTHONY “TM”VILLAHERMOSA,

My best friend of 20 years. We met in 1996 in a way that was you at the core; late to class. We hit it off immediately and maybe because our birthdays were 5 days apart (3-11/ 3-16-1984) we were alike in many ways. 7th and 8th grade shooting dice to homies slap boxing in the morning before school. In high school when you didn't do your homework, you knew you could count on me to make sure you got what you needed before class started. Our many battles on football field the one-year we suited up together. After graduation I went off to college and you went to the block. We had dreams and visions of taking over the world together. You had the streets on lock and was the brains behind the operation. No matter how much time passed between conversations, words flowed easy threw 2-4 hour conversations. As we got older, we always let each other know how proud we were of each other and ended conversations saying, “I Love You Bro”. Eighteen months prior to your death you let me stay with you and the family you created. Our conversations would become deeper because at 30- years old, the world around us had changed. You telling me how Ash changed you, and us laughing because we knew that was a good thing. Anytime you had company, you introduced me as your accountant and would say, “Bro smart as a mutha*****.” For those you loved and cared about, you had no problem letting the world know about their talents. A man who was comfortable in his own skin. You had a kind heart and true love for people. Genuine and passionate with every word that you spoke. A couple weeks before tragedy would occur; we sat in the living room saying, “If there were more people in the world like us, the world would be a better place.” The past year has been eye opening. When you lose someone who you care for deeply it hurts. When I showed up to the hospital and hugged Jack; the tears flowed uncontrollably. Every moment we shared appeared to flash in an instance and my heart shattered to a million pieces. I asked Jack how could someone do this to you when you had no hate or malice in your heart for anybody. Then I thought back to one of our many conversations of you saying, “Bro when it’s your time— it’s your time. No matter how much we want to question that, God always has a plan.” Three-weeks ago I started writing about love, with the intent on helping other’s open their heart. I trust your words and move with the spirit. I dedicate this magazine to you bro because you are the definition of LOVE. If other’s can find away to be like us, the world can become a more loving and better place. TM you will forever be in my heart. I LOVE YOU.

DEDICATION

Copyrights The Copyright Act, 17 USC 102- protects the “original works of authorship fixed in any tangible medium. Required elements of copyright are the work has to be original in a fixed tangible medium such as: print, motion, pictures, or sculpture. The copyright protection for an original work of authorship does not extend to an “idea, procedure, process, system, method of operation, concept, principle, or discovery, regardless of the form in which it is described, explained, illustrated or embodied in such work” (17 USC 102). Rights of Copyright Owners The owner of a copyright has the exclusive right to do and to authorize any of the following: (reproduce copyrighted work in copies or phonorecords; prepare derivative works based upon copyrighted work; distribute copies to the public for sale or transfer of ownership, by rental, lease, or lending; in the case of literary, musical, dramatic, and choreographic works, pantomimes, and motion pictures and other audiovisual works, to perform copyrighted work publicly; in the case of the previous sentence including individual images of a motion picture or sculptural works to display the copyrighted work publicly; in the case of sound recordings, to perform the copyrighted work publicly by means of a digital audio transmission (17 USC 106) Rights of Copyright Consumers—Fair Use The fair use doctrine enables the public, under specific circumstances, to make use of a copyrighted work without infringing on the rights of the owner. Fair use is often associated with educational settings, and it has been applied from classroom materials to performance since 2002. For example, written materials, plays, and choreography may be used, without permission, by an “instructor in the course of face-to-face teaching activities of a nonprofit educational institution, in a classroom or similar place devoted to instruction” (17 USC 110). Also, copyrighted work may be reproduced for purposes such as criticism, comment, news reporting, teaching (including multiple copies for classroom use), scholarship, or research” The pictures used throughout the magazine were done to educate people on LOVE through a pisces lens. The ladies faces, (Rihanna, LeToya Luckett, Kenia Lopez, and Jhene Aiko) whom I associate with having (good hearts); helped and inspired some of the creative poetic literatures in reference to LOVE. Cherie Jones shares the last name of James Jones and her wonderful song sparked the idea to name this magazine INDULGE. To copyright owners of any picture included; the intent was never to infringe on any of your works. I understand the time, eﬀort, hard work, dedication, sleepless nights, and anxiety of making these amazing works perfect. My aim is to inspire and uplift individuals through my writings. People find inspiration in all sorts of things helping ignite their creative minds. Ashley Chavers and CJ Parks written pieces appear under Wideouts4Life DBA. The Intellectual properties Wideouts and Wideouts4Life are owned by Chester Coleman. The properties are leased to Mr. Coleman who does business as Wideouts4Life. The written works are protected by the Wideouts umbrella. They may not be used, distributed, or produced without the consent of Mr. Coleman.

Any question or concerns regarding the copyrights or trademarks, feel free to contact wideouts4life@yahoo.

FORWARD

This magazine is a collection of written sports stories, poetic literatures, song synopsis, inspirational stories and quotes. Retired nine-year NFL veteran and former Green Bay Packer SuperBowl Champion James Jones whom I met in 2002. When he got married in 2008, I was one of the three selected best men he appointed for his big day. I give a first hand account how we met and some of the obstacles he faced as a college player. I coach some of the best receivers in the country and talk about they type of young men they are. I have a collection of poetic literature that you will find throughout the magazine. I provide observations or notes on some of Rihanna’s biggest songs. I also, wrote her a letter based on the cues picked up from her video’s. I have a Bachelor’s degree in Business Management and a Master’s degree in Entertainment Business with an emphasis in Sport’s Management. I played college football at San Jose State and I’ve been a wide-receiver artist and performance sculptor since 2008. I worked in a mental/ behavioral health hospital for four years. I have over 20,000 hours of observing, monitoring, and counseling patients from ages 5-75. Another 75,000+ first hand stories from patients along with stories read from their profiles. I have documented on 2000+ patients, providing an analysis of their behaviors, moods, and interactions during 8-16 hour work shifts. Ashley Chavers provides readers with feelings that were suppressed the night her fiancé was shot. CJ Parks whom I coach, subject readers to his thoughts on what Love is. The maga-book (magazine+book) is put together to not bore the reader. Following stories is typically poetic literature in the form of love or inspirational quotes and adjectives. To not get lost or overwhelmed be open to non-traditional stereotypical magazines. There are no ads but 96 pages of exciting literature.

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

First I would like to give recognition to the Most High GOD for not only leading me on this journey but helping me stay the course. The Power and Grace you have is remarkable and I am truly blessed that you baptized my heart showing how true your spirit reigns supreme in those who believe in you. Renee and Chester- life cannot be long without honoring your parents. My Granny who raised me to be the person I am today. She never deterred any of her grandkids from going after anything they wanted in this world. I asked a million questions as a kid and Granny had a way of making all her answers seem golden. I miss hearing “Hey Mr. Coleman” when calling you; but I’m grateful to have you 29 years of my life. You are truly an Angel. Steve Mitchell my high school football coach for telling me my hands and mind were unique gifts. From that day forward he started calling me “Treasure”. Jim "Coach" Leduc for noticing my intellect and hoping I’d be a Lawyer by now” (It’s never too late Coach Leduc). Noel Beaulieu my Sports and Sponsorship Sales professor during my master’s program. He could see my vision letting me know he could see the ending goal as well. Noel, also told me he was there to support me in anyway he could and that I had a friend for life. Anthony Cobbs my film producer and mentor. This man has a good heart and just loves helping people. I’ve known him 7 months and he had this to say when having a conversation one day, “That ain't nothing but the "it" factor. Musicians and Artists usually have it... couple that with courage to be different or outcasted and misunderstood and you're a savant...or some kind of genius because you think differently.” Juan “Dede” Walden who was on a countless mission to make sure Wideouts world wide got the best teaching out there. Dede had no ego or problem asking a question to better himself as a Master of Wideout. We believed in the same mission and I hope I'm doing an ok job ok making you proud big bro R.I.P. My little cousin Charles McIntosh who I’m sure nerves I get on. He’s always believed in me and my many visions (no matter how crazy they sounded) of how I’ve finally figured out a way I’m going to take the family out the hood; even bailing me out a few situations. Ashley Chavers for excepting me in her home and supporting my dream of becoming the best Wideout Artist to do it. My player’s Osiris St. Brown and Nikko Remigio for their prompt responses on the meaning of Wideouts and “Crazy O” seeing I was creative when I had no idea that I was. CJ Parks for his courage to open his heart and let the world know what Love and Wideouts means to him. My former teammate and 15-year friend James Jones for the kind words and Love you have given from a far. Some friendships are tacit; those around may not understand or see an everyday interaction. We share a special bond and I’m lucky to have a true and real friend in you. I can’t leave out the readers whom I aim to reach. Everything shared is from the heart. My hope is to encourage, inspire, and be a guiding vessel to someone going through a tough transition in their lives. Providing examples of imperfect situations that can be overcome as long as their is GOD is their vessel and Love is in the heart. With him all things are possible.

OPPORTUNITY: WILL YOU MAKE THE MOST OF YOURS?

IM ALIVE, BUT MY HEART REMAINS IN A COFFIN

IF YOU HAD ONE OPPORTUNITY TO BE SUCCESSFUL...WOULD YOU TAKE THE LEAP... OR WOULD YOU MAKE AN EXCUSE AND LET IT PASS YOU BY?

Welcome to my World. Take 3-deep breaths through the nose and out the mouth with your eyes close; silencing our inner voice and clearing the minds. I want everyone to visualize the past 12 months in my mind. I cried, I laughed, I struggled, I cried some more, took a leap of faith landed at the bottom of the apex and the person I needed most split the sea of Reeds getting rid of the filth recalibrating my vibes, fulfilling my heart with love again. Letâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s indulge in wideouts, life, inspiration with love. Bonus synopsis on Rihanna illuminating clues on the daily pains she struggles with.

A YEAR TO REMEMBER, AND I WOULDNâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;T CHANGE ONE THING... EXCLUSIVE BEHIND THE SCENE DETAILS.

A Year ago, when I started my Master’s program; if someone would have told me that a week later (July 6th) I would run outside after hearing 3 gun shots to find my best-friend of 20-years slumped over in his car with brain matter spewing out the base of his forehead. I would’ve bet a million to one dollar that the person foreseeing this was crazy. Not to mention the night before my team was set to play in the championship game. My roommate informed me of our U-Haul being stolen with 90% of everything I owned. The other 5% was taken 5 weeks before when my car was either stolen or repossessed (I never checked into it). By the grace of God, I put four bags in the car with. The past four months I was commuting four hours both ways and doing well in school. A week after the new year, my vibrations and feelings started to amplify causing me to feel other’s negativity at an all-time high. Tired of the negative ball of energy and complaining from my cousin. I wished her little brother good luck in the future and told him I would rather sleep in the car than to deal with his pessimistic sister. For the next six-weeks I slept in the car, and sacrificed personal things to be at football practice in Orange County. Between school and personal projects my energy was an all-time high. I trained a few clients to keep money in my pocket, and help fund things I was working on. I even helped a former coworker start the basics of her new business venture. My mind was

becoming so creative that on nights where I had no money, I found ways to eat. In January, I distanced myself from former friends to stay on task. Mid- late March a workout space became available and I jumped at the opportunity. I’ve always wanted my own workout facility and the space was good enough to start somewhere. For a month, I invited friends, family, anybody I knew that said they worked out. But every weekend I would get excuse after excuse of why they couldn’t make it. This was the first time in my life that I felt defeated. I WAS the reliable, loyal, and supportive friend. After locking up the place and heading south on the 405 to my 13-year old client, I burst into tears. I made a video to myself reflecting over a 15-year period just how clear these people were never my “friends”. They never supported any idea like the people they follow on social media. My aunt lived five minutes from where I coached allowing me to sleep at her place for about 3 weeks. That negative vibe would radiate and I could feel that I was no longer welcome. Having less than $100 on me, I resort back to sleeping in the car to do the things I needed to complete. The rental car I had was now due and my former roommate who had not only put a $1200 car bill on m credit card leaving me without a card and the cash. Had stolen another $1200 I gave him for a place he never got. Not to mention it’s mid-April and my cousins

are withholding my spring football stipend. I return the rental making the decision to never speak to any of these so-called friends again. I land at an Aunt’s house who swears she’s godlier than ever for 6 days. She makes me leave on a Sunday that my homework is due- saying when she goes to church she wants no one in the house (how ironic). Her oldest son asked her for $2 dollars later that night to get his 8-month old daughter some milk. She told him “NO”; my heart crumbled that a grandmother could look her son in the eye while seeing his daughter cry and say this. Next day her husband kicks me out of “his house”. This guy hasn’t built a business or worked for anybody in my 23 years of knowing him. I call my little who grew up with me and told me to come get me. He lives in Barstow, CA which is 2 hours from L.A. I turn in work for class two-weeks behind because I had become depressed. Both aunts kick me out, cousins withholding my money, and no car. I inform the school to send the last part of my loan to a different address. But another excuse to why they can’t do something, mailing the check to a dark-dark place. I cancel all training appointments and with my happiness coming back I finished May on a much higher note.

Here I am a not even a week after completing my Master’s degree back happy as ever. No, my goal of straight A’s in my master’s program was not achieved; (11/ 12) in a one-year accelerated business program isn’t bad. I haven’t told anyone this story because I don’t like people feeling sorry for me. Plus, I’m built to overcome tough situations. I’ve learned people pretend to care about you relinquishing availability. In the past year, I lost the only person who’s ever believed and supported me unconditionally on the mission I’m on (besides my granny-passed 2013). I’ve eradicated every former friendship that I use to value so much. Their

negativity was too much. And, looking back, each one of them in their own way told me I wouldn’t be successful; crazy for saying I could be a $100 millionaire, create an empire, or killing them because I figured out the keys to success. They taught and CLEARLY showed me what nonsupportive, fake, not loving friends look like. More importantly what it looks like when you don’t dream big enough, telling me why I couldn’t do what it is that I am doing. When you don’t challenge yourself, and talk more

than the work you put forth. It’s a natural intuitive mechanism stemmed from syllogistic reasoning, drawing from the biased inclusion fallacy to be negative or suppress others dreams. These people have never mastered anything so their mind draws to a biased imbedded through associative identity. My imagination expands 4th and 5th dimension when theirs has stay between 12D of their reality. Once their minds could not deduce the vision I put forth, it found a conditional reasoning of similarity through associative identity. Out of their mouths came filthy, un-apologetic superlatives because their belief bias enacts from their long-term thoughts of personal failures. I

have forgiven them spiritually, hope they get all the money and social media likes than I care to achieve; but non-supportive people are enemies (on the surface). And if you not with me you against me PERIOD. When a person is hungry, willing to sacrifice, is persistent and perseveres through the toughest of times. Which can only be seen if you have been through the process. “There’s Real Beauty In

Struggle”. When people are scared to face their fears, from their mouths filth is projected. Internally their hearts bleed black; every word spewed coming from their heart, through the linguistic side of the brain, down to the motor function of their lips. I’m blessed with a tough childhood that prepared me for the world. I had this guy tell me that my Granny raising me with no limits is a problem. This guy is also very opposing (negative) and pessimistic. As a kid when I asked my Granny if I could do things like take over the world or be president. Her response would be, “I don’t see why not, you can achieve whatever you put ya mind too Mr. Coleman.” The person who Loved me most and who I loved more than anything ever,

told me I can do it all. None of these people were LOVED in that way as a kid. Their inner childhood dreams were crushed by an elder they respected—hardening their hearts. Most ignorant people say that’s normal; and I’ve been so different as a kid that this makes no sense because growing up my household was real, honest, and filled with lots of LOVE.

I N V I C T U S 12

To the person reading this I hope this inspires and encourages you to take a step forward. Motivation comes from within. I was raised by my Granny since the age of 4. Grew up with a mom on major drugs with two uncles in the home the same way. They all stole money from me as a kid and other family members and friends have done so my whole life. My mom told me somewhere between the age of 13-17, that I wasn’t going to be shit or make it to the “NBA”. My granny would leave her the van to take me to school and she wouldn’t take me. I Graduated high school with both birth parents locked up in prison and had an aunt who attended just so I

could sign a check for her to have money. Walked on to the football team in college and earned my scholarship. Haven’t been given any handouts in life and today hold an Entertainment Business Master’s Degree—Sports Management. My story is not the worst story in the world and I’m no better than the next person. What I am though is courageous. I speak and operate from the heart. I’ve Never been afraid to share what I’ve been through and always stick up for the underdog. While many people see what’s wrong; I can’t help but see what’s right.

OUT OF THE NIGHT THAT COVERS ME, BLACK AS THE PIT FROM POLE TO POLE, I THANK WHATEVER GODS MAY BE FOR MY UNCONQUERABLE SOUL. IN THE FELL CLUTCH OF CIRCUMSTANCE I HAVE NOT WINCED NOR CRIED ALOUD. UNDER THE BLUDGEONINGS OF CHANCE MY HEAD IS BLOODY, BUT UNBOWED. BEYOND THIS PLACE OF WRATH AND TEARS LOOMS BUT THE HORROR OF THE SHADE, AND YET THE MENACE OF THE YEARS FINDS AND SHALL FIND ME UNAFRAID. IT MATTERS NOT HOW STRAIT THE GATE, HOW CHARGED WITH PUNISHMENTS THE SCROLL, I AM THE MASTER OF MY FATE, I AM THE CAPTAIN OF MY SOUL.

If there is a person in your life, parent, family member, friend, teacher, et.al; get rid of them. They are cancerous and detrimental to your success. Negative energy is very conducive, (hence during a heart attack doctors use a negative charge to save people) people and their negative energy will magnetize and take you down the wrong path. Respect your parent’s but you don’t have to talk to them. Listen intently with both ears but the moment they crush your dream eradicate that contact. Any of the above mentioned the same rules apply. And talk to yourself. “I tell myself every single day, “I’m the best”. The last period of a paper I say it, when I brush my teeth I say

it, when I give my opinion I say it. Daily interactions will cause people to use words of insolence. To combat that we need an 11/1 positive to negative affirmation to overcome the external voice of opposition. Remember you can be anything in the world you want. Become love, serve others with kindness, change thoughts with actions, read books, and the world is at your disposal. And please remember change is internal before we expect our external interactions to become better. If this week you have not heard anything to help uplift your spirits. I Chester “Treasure” Coleman believe in you, proud you have come this far, finish strong and I LOVE YOU.

I WILL

NEVER QUIT- LIL “3”

BE LEGEND

3/11 DAMN RIGHT Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;M A PISCES

LOVE IS MYRTLE GREEN ACROSS THE BED PRETENDING TO BE PREOCCUPIED. LOVE IS BEAUTIFUL, DROP DEAD GORGEOUS. EXQUISITE. LOVE IS CURLED UP, GRASPING FOR OXYGEN, LEG TRAPPED UNDER MINE, REINDEERS PRANCE THE HAPPY TRAIL.

I’M A 2/26 PISCES, THAT’S WHY I’M SO PURE

PURE AS GOLD, DOWN--YES, UP--NO, DOWN—YES, HALT. LOVE RECIPROCATED SUDDENLY IN CONTROL, THE ONLY WAY LOVE KNOWS. FACE CUPPED IN LOVE’S TOUCH, RED CELLS RAPIDLY LEAVING THE CROWN TO A PLACE COMBUSTIBLE FILLED PRESSURES. LOVE

WIDEOUTS Osiris â&#x20AC;&#x153;Crazy Oâ&#x20AC;? St. Brown. What can I not say about this kid? Osiris is a special kid. Playing on a 7 on 7 team I once coached; I was able to see the growth and maturation of the player and young man. Having an older brother who was ranked at the time as a top-20 wideout in the country can sometimes be extra motivation. In this case at least not with him . Now his younger brother has that brotherly competitive fire that most baby brothers display. The only person O is in competition with is himself. A mister know it all. No pun intended. The talented recent Mater Dei Monarch Graduate has many skills that have developed with the exuberant talent illuminating his shadow. Crazy O speaks 4 languages, plays another 5-7 instruments (piano his favorite), writes code for computer software, and lets notâ&#x20AC;Ś(cont. next page)

DREAMS DO COME TRUE forget his the social media king when you need something done. This past season I got to see all sides of Osiris. When you coach a kid during 7on7 tournaments it’s very easy for him to mentally checkout on the coach; and just as easy as for the coach to do the same. It’s not like the kid can see his mistakes or needs you yelling and screaming when you won’t be coaching him when it really counts. O was the lone senior Wideout. Naturally he was going to get coached harder but he also would have a tiny bit more freedom than the rest of the crew. My first week of camp Monarch went quicker than an MIB pen flash. After the 7 day honeymoon stage is over is when the personality of a coach takes over. By now an attentive coach should be understanding his players. The familiarity of the coaches voice is somewhat annoying. Its practice #15 in on the 8th day of camp with another week to go. Shit even the coach is mumbling to himself man this some bullshit. Osiris hits the field not dressed, giving some excuse to why he can’t practice. It was somewhat heart-breaking to see one of the best Wideouts in the country about to take the day off. After joking with the other side about how sorry they are and what I teach will trump that terrible technique newly implemented. I make my way to O. Before I could talk he feeds me the excuse before I even had a chance to think.

Now, don't get me wrong every excuse could be valid; because they are results of cause and effect. I’m faced with the dilemma that Osiris not only committed to his dream college Stanford University, but he’s the only one the others look to for approval. Plus, kids will naturally follow the associative fallacy; thinking if the best one on the team can miss a practice why can’t they. I told him after warm-ups to go to the trainers room and we’ll see him after practice. I let him know that this was Wideouts and if we can walk we can practicing; receivers take days off. I also explained to him that he doesn't know how much his body can take until he pushes through the pain. Eluding that I was done with the conversation, I told Osiris to get away from me because because he had me looking at him different.

We make it to the field for early outs and Coach Rollinson in his deep raspy voice says, “So what are you going to do… play him every other series and after he scores once take him out.” I say coach, “I’m a let him decide it’s his senior year he won’t have this opportunity ever again”.

He is tough. Second-round of the CIF- playoffs we’re matched up against Murrieta Vista. Leaving practice Wednesday he his lymph nodes are starting to swell up. Thursday he can’t make it to walk-thru which was not a big deal (earned my trust by this point). After arriving to the visitor’s locker room and seeing the look in his eyes. Two thoughts flashed in my head: I’m about to see if he’s really Grundacious, and there’s no way he plays as white as he looks.

STANFORD

Words CAN Change Your Brain 12 Components of Compassionate Communication Entering a Conversation

1. Relax- Stress #1 Killer In the World 2. Stay Present 3. Cultivate Inner Silence 4. Increase Positivity 5. Reflect on your deepest values 6. Access a Pleasant memory 7. Observe Non-verbal Cues 8. Express Appreciation 9. Speak Warmly 10.Speak Slowly 11.Speak Briefly 12.Listen Deeply

“Everything is a come up. Everything is a struggle, you start from the bottom working to the top” “HOLD PEOPLE ACCOUNTABLE”

“SUPPORT THE REAL”

O S I R I S

O not only has 11 catches 200 yards and 2 touchdowns. He played better from a technical aspect that we talk about. To the Wideouts and Wideout coaches reading this; if your player doesn't do what he does in practice he’s not getting better. This is why dudes don't get the oﬀers from college’s they want or make it to the NFL. We all can get it done in practice. But do you maximize and capitalize on all opportunities given? Majority of these answers are no I see tape weekly too. Somebody has to expect more. Wideouts if your coach doesn't push you or challenge you daily tell the head coach to fire him. Complacency births contentment that will one day lead to resentment. As much as I LOVE my players, I do not care if they like me on or oﬀ the field.

Osiris is a hog, he's an animal, and he’s a savage. Before season started he broke the seismoid bones in his big toe (the only bones the toe has). We have to keep playing though is what I told him. Before this injury took place Crazy O was in practice murdering. It was simple and easy. He’s the fastest on the team, tough as nails, and wants to destroy you each play. O was in his rocket stancenice and low how we want to be. He was exploding oﬀ the ball, running in and out the breaks, and not getting tackled. I pulled him to the side after it was determined that surgery was postponed. I let him know that it’s his world. He can get away with whatever he chooses being my only senior. I assured him that I would scale expectations back to planet earth, but when needed he would give me two all-out practice plays. Week 1, he sprains his AC-joint in his shoulder and has a splint on the

next day. He didn't complain and get down on himself like I've seen players do. He told me the doctor said 4-6 weeks, and in the same breath said, “Man the doc tripping. Ill be back next week.”

Sometimes as Wideouts we have to be real with ourselves and ask is the pain worth it? The answer should be Yes every single time if Wideouts and football means anything to you. It’s week 5 and as you can imagine, It is not easy to coach 6 talented wideouts asking them to not be selfish. Shit Wideout is the most selfish position on the field. We want the ball every play. The other three would complain if I took them out for a play.

Having cooled oﬀ I reached out to all my players and left them a heart felt message. My first thought was thanking O for allowing me to coach him. Mutually understanding that had I not been his coach he may have not pushed through the serious injuries he sustained. I let him know I truly appreciated the eﬀort he displayed week in week out. We practice like animals. Hurt and all he gave me his all. He challenged me in a good way this past season. When giving out the Wideout of the Year award, he should’ve gotten it. From a coaching standpoint he had more games of doing it the right way. O missed a few more practices helping the vote swing his little brothers way. Having a tacit under-

standing of this, there was no need to explain this— especially when the coach told the Wideout crew that he was the best Wideout we had during our many many talks. From the World of Wideouts we would like to Thank You Osiris St. Brown for the work that you do. On and oﬀ the field you are truly special. You can obtain any goal imaginable. Let the light in you shine. Don't let others pessimism discourage you from your mission; especially if they have never played the exclusive position we call Wideout (They just wont understand what we go through). Just play and “Get Better”. Wideouts You Knowwww!

It didn’t bother me though. We only played past half-time in 3/ 14 games. And we break so many tackles that scoring was done in a hurry. I asked Osiris to trust me and not worry about the stats because I had a vision. Sometimes he would come to me mid 1st quarter saying I could put someone else in. What came of his unselfishness was Trinity-League Oﬀensive Player of the Year, Max-Preps All-American, All-CIF 1st team…et. al. Like universal law of abundance; Osiris’ display of altruism turned in to major arcana. He finished with the year amassing 62 receptions, 1127 yards, and 19TD’s. We received our first lost in the championship, not sending Osiris to Palo Alto with a ring. But, this season was no loss at all because the Wideouts balled. After the loss, it took me a week before I reached out to anybody. As a Wideout coach who puts everything on himself and his position group. I felt the Wideouts could have done more.

ST. BROWN

IT HAS TO BE A CATASTROPHE FOR SOMEONE TO BECOME SUCCESSFUL

THE MOST NASTY, THICKEST, HARSHEST ENVIRONMENT PRODUCES THE PRETTIEST LOTUS

Y U N G

I OWN DUDES WHO WEAR NUMBER

G U N Z

BECOME LOVE

TOUGH WORDS

+ WARM

SMILES

+ SENSITIVE/

GANGSTA

+MOMS =

EMOTIONAL SONS

R L EO AV L E

3/16 The day god gave the world his son... is that why I have all these powers...

26 “The hard thing about being a Pisces is we’re malleable and altruistic in the Heart. We always put others first and see the good in everyone. Yes, we are real and honest with no intention to heart anyone. Why is it that others keep malice in the heart when all we are love.”

2/20

With high intuitions and vibrations felt so deep a Pisces already knows the answer to the question asked even when that question appears to be from left field. No one will Love you better.

THESE EYES DONâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;T DECEIVE

WIDEOUT OUTLINE Position

• • • •

The wide receiver position is the only position on the field that win the battle each play Deception is something you have to display through your route Catching the ball is the main purpose of the position so if you can't catch don't bother playing the position! Know your plays because you are accountable as team players and should never line up wrong or not know what your route is. Never break the huddle without knowing; when in doubt ask the QB

PRACTICE • I’m not a baby sitter and never will be, so when you come out to the field, you put your pride in your pocket and go to work • Nothing I teach comes over night. You have to practice, practice, practice everyday maintain your technique • Work hard everyday and come out with the will to learn. The days you don’t feel like practicing are the days for the biggest improvements • Make it fun!! That’s what its all about. You play football • Get low in your stance to be able to shoot out • Stay on the balls of your feet, forcing the power through the feet • Sink down at the hips and don’t just bend the back. Bring the shoulders perpendicular with the toes, this will help keep the back straight • Keep hands up if the guy is pressed. This helps protect you from getting jammed • Eyes transition to opposer once ball is hiked Against • • • •

press Moves should be lateral. Yes you can use beast technique, but move him like basketball Bring back leg more forward with it slightly out to the side more to give a quick move off the line of scrimmage Hands up!!!!! and ready to slap hands away fiercely with intent to break their forearm ALWAYS make LOS jukes going forward and don't waste time dancing with them

WIDEOUT OUTLINE CONT... GET OFF

• • • • • •

HANDS • • • •

Come out of stance with low center of gravity with a sense of urgency Attack the defender. In off coverage you want to square defender when possible so he does not maintain leverage on the route In press coverage you want to laterally move the defender. Get him to open his hips or step outside the framework of his body Always have a plan with the route your running. Know if you need to go outside or inside for your route PLAY FAST!!!!!!!! Don't spend to much time at the line with him If they are shading you to a side take the other side and just GO If shaded to the side you wanted to go then press the non shade side for about 3 yards until he turns his hips and cut back underneath him watching for him to reach his hands out to grab you In stance before the snap, hands MUST be up at all times. Anticipate the hands Keep working hands during route if defender is at hip Fierce hands…try to hurt/break defenders forearms

CATCHING • This is a must for a WR • Hands away from body to catch ball • Watch ball into hands/ use your eyes as a camera lens taking a photo • Try as best as possible to not body catch (you be the judge) • Jug machine helps improve hand strength and eye hand coordination • Catch the ball first before attempting a move up the field ROUTE STEM • Is the imaginary line which you stay on to run your route • If taken off original starting point (Lane 1) push back in to db taking lane 1 back • If defender is in press coverage then move him lateral for a freer release • If Db is playing off coverage choose inside, middle or outside body to attack • We can not allow him to maintain leverage as this gives him a direct path to the ball

“Real niggaz do what they want Bitch niggaz do what they can”

LOVE WIN’S “I feel like, if you walked by a street and you was walking on concrete. And you saw a rose growing out of concrete; even if it had messed up pedals and it was a little to the side you would marvel at just seeing a rose grow through concrete. So why is it that when you see some ghetto kid grow out of all the dirtiest circumstances and he can talk and he can sit across from you, make you smile make you cry, make you laugh. A ll you can talk about is my dirty rose, my dirty stems and how I'm leaning crooked to the side. You can’t even see that I came up out of that”

“We gotta stand up at some point and just stop stuttering, like Sister Soulja says. I give her maximum props. Stop stuttering, stop knee buckling and just say what you mean, and Say It Loud. So everybody hears. You can only be wrong once; but all this cowardly lying standing behind this stupid stuff. we gotta come out and say what we gotta say”

“I want when they see me, they know that everyday when I'm breathing it’s for us to go farther. Every time I speak I want the truth to come out, Every time I speak I want to shiver”

“I see myself changing the world because my thought patterns are so opposite of what’s the norm. So, I would have to change the world, or I have to be changed by the world”

“I have no patience for anybody that doubt me. None at all; it’s too hard out here. I have no fear, I have only ambition and I want mine. And I will do anything to protect and feed my family”

ALIGNMENT • This is one of the most important parts to make your route successful. If you don't align correctly then you have already given yourself a disadvantage • Outside receiver needs to be lined up most of the time at the top of the numbers!! • This is to give you room on the sideline and give the QB bigger room for error, You then can adjust to ball if need be • The only time you line up on the bottom of the numbers is if… Running slants, posts, digs, etc… Any route that’s going across the field • Fades and streaks, make sure you’re on the top of the numbers, giving yourself as much room as possible SLOTS • Split the end man of line of scrimmage and outside receiver • In trips then you split the difference of the other two receivers. In Bunch you guys set the bunch where need be and the spacing should be 2 yards apart and 1 yd back • Your guys are usually off the ball 1 yd. Rule of thumb, your front foot should be even with outside receiver’s back foot to be on the safe side • When pressed your moves should be going forward because of the extra room ROUTES • Routes are an important part aspect to a receiver’s game. As you move to the next level the margin for error diminishes • You can be a 4.5 WR going against a 4.3 DB and win the battle every time be cause of great route running • You have the biggest advantage, you know where your going he doesn’t • At the top of your routes you need to drop your hips stick the break making sure we explode out the break • Your arms should be 90 degrees at the elbow, swinging from hip pocket to eye socket • Core is huge, this helps with better body control • Get in and out of your breaks. Keep feet moving continuing to play fast creating sepera tion from the defender. The last 18 inches of the break through the transition becomes most important • Play fast and have a few ideas how you want to attack the route based on how the opposing force lines up EXTRA • Pre-snap ready from line of scrimmage and don't stare at your route. Scan the field to see how the defense lines up and what type of defense they are in which will help you in deciding how to approach the route • Also pre-read the route the route to know about where you need to go and break for route off • Control the defender with your eyes and head. If you stare at him with your eyes he will have nothing to read and be a step behind on everything • At the top of route when sticking it look the opposite way and get out of break • BE PHYSICAL!!!!! Especially while pressed, It is a fight until the we score • Make the other side react to you. We know where we need to get to. Where he lines up can help dictate the different ways we can run our route. Be very explosive off the LOS

IN LOVING MEMORY

M O N E Y

T I N Y ANTHONY VILLAHERMOSA SUNRISE: MARCH 11, 1984 SUNSET: JULY 18, 2016

CLOSURE: FIANCE FINDS THE WORDS, TO HEAL DEEP WOUNDS HERE IT IS A YEAR LATER AND I HAVEN'T FULLY LET THIS WEIGHT OFF MY SHOULDERS. ATTEMPTING TO BE STRONG BUT THIS IS NEEDED TO HEAL MY HEART. IN MY LIFE OR ONEMILLION MORE YEARS DID I EVER IMAGINE SYNTHESIZING THIS TYPE OF PAIN. THIS IS SO MUCH MORE THAN LOSING MY FIANCÉ- MY PARTNER OF 13 YEARS, THE FATHER OF MY TWO BOYS, AND LOSING MY BEST-FRIEND. THE ONLY PERSON THAT LISTENED TO MY RANTS (FOR THE MOST PART) BUT ALWAYS UNDERSTOOD ME. THIS CAN'T BE TRUE; ACCEPTING AND BELIEVING YOU’RE IN HEAVEN PROTECTING US. SEEMS LIKE YESTERDAY I WAS BUGGING YOU ABOUT THIS BILL OR THAT BILL; INTUITIVELY PREDICTING THAT I LET YOU GET AWAY THAT EASY HUH LOL. NOW I CAN’T HIDE IT OR I MISS YOU MORE AND MORE WITH EACH PASSING DAY. T'S CRAZY, I HARDLY EVER UTTERED THOSE WORDS. BUT TODAY WOULD KILL TO CONFESS MY LOVE FOR YOU. IT NEVER CROSSED MY MIND WHEN AFTER PLANNING AND PACKING OUR CLOTHES TO LEAVE, SOME ASSHOLE WOULD ELIMINATE THE PATRIARCH OF THE FAMILY. WHO WOULD’VE THOUGHT, WHEN BUYING OUR SECOND HOME, THAT WE WERE COUNTING DOWN YOUR DAYS ON EARTH. A HOME WE UPGRADED ANTICIPATING OUR KIDS BECOMING MEN IN. THIS IS A HORRIBLE DREAM. AND FOR A WHILE I BLAMED MYSELF BECAUSE HAD TO HAVE THIS HOUSE NO MATTER WHAT. I NOW WISH I HAD NEVER SAW IT. I NEVER HAD THE COURAGE TO GO TO THE CAR WHEN YOU GOT SHOT. AND I’VE HATED MYSELF FOR THAT BECAUSE I FELT LIKE YOU NEEDED ME AND AT THAT MOMENT. I FAILED. I COULDN'T DO IT BECAUSE I KNEW I WOULD FAIL YOU ONCE I SAW YOU IN THAT PREDICAMENT. BUT UPON SEEING YOU IN THE EMERGENCY ROOM, I WAS RE-ASSURED BY THE WAY YOU REACTED TO MY VOICE. I THOUGHT YOU WERE GOING TO JUMP OUT OF THE HOSPITAL BED. I KNEW IN THAT MOMENT THAT YOU NEEDED. TO HAVE BEEN AT THE CAR TELLING YOU TO STAY STRONG COULD’VE PRODUCED THE MIRACLE WE NEEDED. I COULDN’T MUSTER UP ENOUGH ENERGY TO WALK DOWN THE WALKWAY AND ENCOURAGE YOU. FOR THAT I APOLOGIZE. YOU NEVER KNOW HOW BRAVE YOU CAN BE OR NOT BE UNTIL YOU ARE PUT IN THAT SITUATION I JUST KNEW FOR SURE OUR KIDS COULDN'T SEE YOU LIKE THAT. I REMEMBER THE PAIN OBSERVED ON QUISE’S FACE. NOT KNOWING WHAT TO SAY; WITH SIMPLY WORDS I ASSURED HIM THAT HIS HERO WOULD BE OK. NEVER DID I THINK I WOULD HAVE TO TELL MY 11 AND TWO-YEAR OLD THEIR FATHER WOULD NO LONGER BE WITH US. THAT’S A FEELING I STILL CAN’T EXPLAIN. A FEW DAYS AWAY FROM THE DAY IN INFAMY, LITTLE ANTHONY ASKS TO SEE HIS DAD DAILY. IT HURTS MY SOUL YOU TO TELL HIM THAT HE CAN'T HAVE HIS DAD. I ALWAYS THOUGHT IT WAS CRAZY THAT YOU WOULD NAME YOUR YOUNGEST AFTER YOU, BUT NOW FEEL LIKE IT SERVED A PURPOSE FOR HIM TO CONTINUE YOUR LEGACY. I FEEL LIKE WE TAUGHT EACH OTHER MANY THINGS. I’M THE ONE THAT NEEDED TO HAVE EVERYTHING ORGANIZED AND PLANNED AND YOU’RE THE CAREFREE, NONCHALANT, GO WITH THE FLOW KIND A GUY. THIS DROVE ME CRAZY BECAUSE I HATE NOT HAVING A PLAN. WHEN THINGS WENT YOUR WAY I USUALLY WAS GOING AGAINST THE TIDE. ONLY WANTED TO SAY I TOLD SAY I TOLD YOU SO (VERY PETTY). I LOVED HOW YOU SUPPRESSED MY INSECURITIES; MAKING ME FEEL LOVED AND SEXY SO MUCH SO YOU PUT A RING ON IT LOL. I DISLIKED THAT WE DIDN'T TRY HARDER AT MAKING IT DOWN THE AISLE. THE COST OF A WEDDING WAS TOO MUCH FOR YOU TO HANDLE😩 . I LIKED HEARING HOW YOU BRAGGED TO THE NEIGHBORHOOD ABOUT YOUR LADY HAVING HER STUFF TOGETHER AND HAVING YOUR BACK. YOU LET PEOPLE KNOW WHY YOU LOVED ME AND YOU STAYED DOWN WITH MY CRAZY ASS. ONE THING FOR CERTAIN WAS I HAD YOUR BACK AT ALL COSTS. IF YOU COULDN'T TURN $100 INTO 1000 NOBODY COULD. I TRUSTED YOU TO MAKE IT HAPPEN BUT HATED HEARING CALLS OF DEFEAT, WHEN SOMETHING WENT WRONG. I WAS THERE TO SUPPORT MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER FOR THE BOUNCE BACK. WE SHARE MANY GREAT AND NOT SO GREAT MEMORIES. WE GREW UP TOGETHER YOU WILL FOREVER BE IN MY HEART. I WILL FOREVER HAVE A PIECE OF YOU IN OUR TWO BOYS AND I THANK YOU FOR BEING ABLE TO LOVE ME THROUGH THE TOUGH AND DIFFICULT TIMES. EVEN WHEN I DROVE YOU CRAZY LOL. I APPRECIATE YOU FOR TEACHING ME THAT MY FIRST RESPONSE SHOULDN'T EVOKE ENOUGH ANGER TO JUST WALK AWAY FROM THE SITUATION. FOREVER IN MY HEART ❤

NOT JUST A POSITION BUT A WAY OF LIFE!

WHAT MAKES Y O U A

What separates me from other wideouts is even though many guys may have more offers, or be taller, or get more publicity, being able to understand that I am a wideout gives me confidence and helps me mentally prepare my self for competition each and every moment it presents itself... 2018 Cal Commit- Nikko Remigio

WIDEOUT?

What makes me a wideout and not a receiver is that I have a different mentality. I was lucky to have a dad that raised only alphas. I brought that with me to the receiver position and became a wideout. To be a wideout you have to be a little cocky and you must believe you're the best. Receivers get covered but wideouts are always open. I do get angry sometimes but once I can Chanel that anger while still being in control, then I'll be that much better. 2017 Stanford Commit- Osiris St. Brown

NOT A

RECEIVER

I think wideouts are KINGS and receivers are young Princes who wanna talk that talk but can't do anything when it get real between the stripes. Wideouts don't turn down any fades from any sorry DB because we the ones to be beat not them. I feel like what separates me from other wideouts is my hunger and my confidence in my game. I never have been the person to envy or be jealous it’s just my competitive nature and I think that’s what’s makes me a Wideout and not a receiver. Wideouts and never turning down any DB fades, we getting money every play and we talking smack while we do it too. WIDEOUTS 2018 UCLA Commit- CJ Parks

HUNGER CONFIDENCE

PAIN

MASTER BET ON YOURSELF AND YOU ARE GUARANTEED TO WIN. RELY ON OTHERS TO BET FOR YOU, ITS GUARANTEED THEY WILL FAIL YOU!

FOCUS

CRAZY

STAY

DAMN! WHAT DID I DO MIND CONFLICTED, ITS MY CRAFTY SCHEME, PREOCCUPIED WITH JERRY NOT HELLER, LACERATIONS DANCE HARMONIOUS LEATHER RIPS. MESSAGE, FEAR FLIGHT MY INSIDES EXCITE, AURICLE OBSESSIONS, SALACIOUS HABITS DIS-ORDINATE LINGUISTIC FUNCTION; ENOUGH! TAKE A BREATH

Words CAN Change Your Brain 12- Steps to Intimacy, Cooperation, and Trust 1. Speaking briefly 2. Speaking slowly 3. Listening deeply 4. Showing Appreciation 5. Remaining Positive 6. Observe inner speech and cultivating inner silence 7. Studying the personâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s facial expressions 8. Body Gestures 9. Vocal Inflections 10.Mirroring them to build neural resonance 11.Focusing on your inner values ( Bring into conversation) 12.Remain as relaxed and as present as you can

EVERYONE HAS PLAN... TIL THEY GET PUNCHED IN THE

MOUTH It’s 3:45 p.m. and “The Wideouts” are occupying two benches on the sideline furthest from campus. Osiris is his usual reaching toward my pocket for my phone so he could use SnapChat. Cj and Amon are kicking the soccer ball working on their feet and coordination. Quentin Lake is one of two players from the opposing side that I let sit with us before practice. He’s somewhat frustrated because his college of choice does not have the major he wants, and he’s contemplating if UCLA is the school for him. The Peyton Manning of high school- sophomore sensation JT Daniels is giving advice

NIKKO REMIGIO

as if he already has the doctorate certificate (wants to be a neurosurgeon) mounted on his computer desk at home. Of course, sophomore Bru Mccoy is last to make it to Wideout pow-wow. Waddling up to the bench telling me why it’s not his fault he’s late. Insert’s the cool, calm, and collective Nikko Remigio with a well thought response as he’s been quiet this whole time. “Dude go to fucking Cal and I’ll meet you there next year, that school is the bomb”. The Wideouts always take the field15 30 minutes before practice so we can get our minds right for the day. There are no limits to what we discuss. Topics ranging from sports, politics, psychology, education and what would be guy talk without girls. Today we’re talking four-star Wideout Nikko Remigio’s future college plans. Nik and sophomore sensation J.T. Daniels are talking about Cal and what they want to major in. I ask Remigio has he been offered yet because his glove of choice has an emblem resembling the university’s Golden Bear. Cal and Bears on each glove. “Not yet Ches but I’m gonna get it bruh.”

#25 CAL 2018

I responded in a way letting him know I believe he will get the offer because I can hear in his voice how bad he wants the offer. Ten months before our relationship forged, Nikko showed up every Saturday and Sunday to B2G’s work out. A smile that can radiate the darkest of rooms was non-existent during a crucial moment in the young man’s life. He was relentless. Any time he ran a route, a question ensued as he pranced back to his line. “Coach how that one look”... “Am I playing fast enough.” The driving force behind his hunger as I would learn after becoming the Monarchs Wideout coach. The previous season he saw his playing time diminish drastically. Here’s a kid who terrorized the pop-warner scene from what I’ve been told and had a great freshman season. What he did not anticipate was the transfer of stud one and two. Yes, Osiris and Amon Ra St. Brown enrolled and immediately took Remigio’s playing time. During the off season, Nik figured out that to compete with the best, you have to train with the best. I can’t pinpoint the exact camp it was, as this story was told to me months later. But our sophomore receiver who stands at 6’2 205 (Bru McCoy) was in-

vited to a top camp for guys already receiving scholarship offers. He had a prior engagement and would not be attending the camp. Nikko, had the brainiac idea to attend the camp as himself but check Bru in as well placing that number on his back. Nik understood that McCoy was a hot commodity on rivals, 247, and scout’s high school rankings. Nikko accomplished what he set out to do. Attracting enough attention to get the buzz he sought out. Remigio endured tough times leading him to doubt the ability that was sitting on a shelf somewhere. Criticism of him being too slow, too-short, “sorry” and “not good enough” could crush any 15 year-old . Nik is very cerebral and he knew what was being said in the community. He used it as nitrogen and extra motivation. The conversation shifted to what he thinks can lead to his Dharma (purpose in life).The way he talked about education and life goals was quite admirable. Sports psychologist rolls off the young man’s tongue causing my face to fill with shock. He loves sports and people; together this is the perfect combination to make him happy late into his adult-

hood. Off the field the kid is the most calm and thoughtful guy you could meet. Cautious and reserved in speech, meticulously choosing his words to not offend the person he interacts with. Friday nights however produce the opposite of Peter Parkers’ Superman; Venom his alter ego . During games if one was to have a tape recorder standing next to me, that person would think my position played middle backer. These guys show emotion, anger, real toughness, superlatives escape raspy wind pipes of frustration. Two minutes before halftime and with 49-0 lead, the exuberant Wideout knows at halftime his game is over. Heart racing, face red, Nikko says, “Dude what the fuck I do now? Why you take me out”? I usually deflect question’s irrelevant to the game unless there’s a teaching moment. With the most serious face he says, “Dude I need to go back in… I don’t wan’t the ball… I don’t even care for a touchdown. But, the safety got me after the whistle and called me a Pussy! And I’m fucking pissed! Put me back in to show him show him he’s the feline out on the field! “NOT ME,” as I push him on to field yelling, “Don’t do anything Stupid!”

OMEGA PSI PHI

Love is sweet unforgettable residue, Love is tough, Love is Jones’n from corrupt emotions, Love Takes all the oxygen you breathe, temporary Paralyses—Love is the greatest drug, Love’s addicting, Love pleases, Love stimulates euphoria, Love blinds, Love is depression, love is tacit, love is hopeless, Love is Water flow, Love is Lazy, Love is Lonely. More LOVE is the Only Healer for LOVE. Independence Is who She is, LOVE is worth more than 122 beautiful Women. LOVE’s, Love hits peaks and valleys, Meeting at the one 1-Way entrance to Happiness.

SOUL

Pisces- Transparent and open, The World May not understand a Pisces, but what a Pisces doesn’t understand is why is it so hard to be honest? Rhetorical but similar to licks it takes to get to the center of a tootsie Pop... “No one Will Ever KNOW”

TRANSPARENT

JONES WILL YOU INDULGE

BEAST

BUT A DIFFERENT ANIMAL?

READY SAID TAKE OFF! I met James “3” Jones the first day we reported to fall football camp in 2002. His first words to me were, “What’s up bra I’m James and I'm going to league.” In my head I’m thinking to myself who is this dude and how old is he. James already having facial hair, weighing 195 lbs already had the look of an NFL player. At this point curious to see what class level he was in and why he was so certain about the NFL, he informed me that he was only a freshman. The freshman had to do the standard bench test so coaches had a base line on the strength of the new players. 3 did 225 15 times leaving everyone in amazement. In his signature laugh arising from the bench he said this was his first time lifting 225. As James and I became friends I learned about his childhood and ambitions. He had never had a drink of liquor a day in his life; but in the most sure but modest way, “Ches, when I get drafted I’ll have a drink with you then.”

TO BE THE BEST YOU GOTTA PLAY THE BEST!

Over the next two years Jones would struggle. Our first spring ball (15 practices) the head coach at the time would lash out at “3” everyday. “Mandinka you don't wanna play, take yo ass to the other field and do push-ups the rest of practice… I said 12 yards not 11, go run the rest of practice… You dropped dang near all yo’

balls in routes and you drop the first rep in 1 on 1’s get out you don't deserve to go no mo’.” James was not bothered or fazed by any of this. Our Wideout coach would come to me and plead with me to talk to 3 because he couldn't remember the plays. The next year there was internal talks of moving him and me to defense. Our posi-

tion coach was constantly on us in film. James and I were always saying we we’re “Savages”, “Soldiers”, and “Beasts”. One particular film session Keith (wideout coach) would fast forward each of our clips, mocking those words attempting to insult us. “And you say you a savage, this don't look savage…

BECOME LEGENDARY

P I S C E S 51

I’M A BEAST…I’m a soldier.” After about 30 minutes of feeling antagonized, I turned to Keith and said, “Cuz shut the fuck up don't nobody wanna hear you no more; we get it.” Now agitated, Williams turned while looking at me and said, “First off, can’t nobody in here whoop me; second off, you gone have to whoop me to get me to shut-up; and third off, don't fight me- fight the tape thats you Ches not me.” (continues talking while insinuating that

he’s going to move me to corner and James to safety; “Ches hella smart, put him at corner and you at safety. He’ll help you line up. Then you gone pick off every ball and be all WAC).

This may have been a mild film session for us and this was non-stop for almost three years. During this time, James and I formed a close bond becoming best friends. Having similar childhood’s being raised by our Granny’s, we stayed pushing each other during practice. Although we were on scout team for two years, we would line up uttering phrases “play fast” and “stay low”. We felt we had the advantage because we went against the starters everyday-accelerating our growth tremendously. The other thing helping to push us was that our coach would ask us how we did everyday; something other position; something other position coaches didn't do with their scout players.

DONâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;T MATTER HOW THE PLAY IS MADE... JUST MAKE

LIL JAMES GOTTA EAT BRUH... NOT TODAY! RICH!

YOU COULD WEAR A DRESS FOR CHARITY OR SHORTS ON VACATION

A REAL MAN WILL STILL FIND A WAY TO MAKE YOU FEEL BEAUTIFUL

Before the staff was eventually fired in November of 2004. James had not lived up to the player they hoped he would be. Our very first college scrimmage he dropped two touchdown passes. He dropped another three during the spring scrimmage. It appeared that Jones was not a big time player. Through all of this 3 never seem to waiver. The interesting thing as well, which attributes to who he is as a person. When we would have conversations about the Wideouts and who’s better than who talks came about. He never had anything bad or negative to say about any of us. If you asked him if someone was good or better than him he somehow avoided answering the question. Looking back, he was just focused on fulfilling his child hood dream. He wanted to buy “Grams and Mom” a home one day. He didn't have time to

worry about verbal non-sense. Our coach who

already didn't trust me on the field, was starting to say that maybe James didn’t have what it takes to make it to the NFL. Athletically of course the man was talented enough; I stand right at 6’0 and he could jump over my head and dunk a basketball. But, James’ consistency was the issue.

He never was a party guy any way, but now he declined all invitations to house party’s and clubs. Our wideout workouts were always hit hard. Keith was finding every way he could to improve our football games. From the track to the bleachers to the piedmont hills, there were no days off. Jones who naturally has crazy eye-hand coordination— was catching 300 balls a day off the jugs machine.

OMEGA ALPHA

Before the season started I noticed the letters NTAF signed next to his name. I didn't ask what it meant because if he wanted me to know I would’ve known. Against the University of Washington 3 matched his jersey number with touchdowns and 175 yards receiving. Stanford game he reversed field on a reverse and was Sport’sCenter #1 on the top 10 that night. Against Nevada we had 10 seconds left in the half and he moss’d a guy for the touchdown. Another game on 4th and 1, Jones caught a 50 yard pass with his bicep. He had done a complete 180 on the field. 50/50 balls were made so often that when he didn't catch one we would be surprised. In our bowl game against the New Mexico Lobos he was at it again. A stop route missed tackle turned into a TD, with his highlight moment in the form of another moss catch up the sideline. Two touchdowns and MVP was the exposure James needed from a national televised games, to give him a realistic look from the NFL.

3 would be invited to an all-star game composed of the country’s best talent pool on both sides of the ball. He texted me saying that the other side of the ball was truly sorry; and that they were no better than the ones who guarded us daily. NFL combine happens and he was the drill leader over everyone, including top-5 draft pick Calvin Johnson (who is a beast). Being a legit low 4.5 flat kind of runner. We would joke around saying the what if he hit 4.4 in Indy that could catapult him to a late 1st round pick. When you think and dream big, everything is truly possible. The draft had recently switched to 1, 2-3, 4-7 hosted fri-sun. Of course we were hopeful, and his agent who’s one of the best ever (Frank Bauer) kept an honest dialogue wit James prior to the draft. He let him know that the main thing of concern is the speed. Talent wise you’re a second to late third pick. But, you’re not 4.4 so that could drop you to 5-6 round as well.

GRIT LOVE

MISCHIEF

PERSISTENT ECSTASY

DILIGENCE

Words CAN Change Your Brain POSITIVITY “How much money you have in your pocket, has nothing to do with a man’s character. •Reigns whenever positive emotions displayed •LOVE •JOY •GRATITUDE •SERENITY •INTEREST •INSPIRATION •TOUCH •OPEN YOUR HEART •3:1 positive to negative ratio of thoughts expressing less than 3 for each negative; the relationship or interaction is likely to fail. •Increase this ratio to at least 5:1 ( “I’m disappointed” or “Thats not what I hoped for”) are classified as negative. •Less than 3:1is classified as being depressed •Rehears a conversation that is filled with positivity, kindness, and optimism ( Visualize Success) Enhances motivation to achieve it. •You can undue negative memories from Childhood “re-scripting” can undo negative memories •Prime yourself with positive feelings and thoughts before you engage in conversation •Martin Seligman- founder of positive psychology, “ Merely repeating positive statements to yourself does not raise mood or achievement very much.” •Instead he says, you have to embed optimism in your brain “through the power of ‘non-negative’ thinking” •Consciously identify then root out

AND THERE SHE WAS SITTING AT THE TABLE. IN HER BLUE JEANS AND BLACK TOP, AORTA TOPPED WITH A NECKLACE AND CHARM, SITTING NEXT TO THE PLACE WHERE OUR HEARTS WOULD ONE DAY MEET. BEEP..BEEP...BEEP....BABY GIRL YOU COMPLETE ME, EVAPORATED ALL THIS MISERY, IVORY-YES, I LOVE YOU DEEPLY. MERCURIAL INSIDES, CRY WITH EXCITEMENT. PRETTY EYES I CANâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;T STOP THE MELODY, DAMN GIRL YOUR HEAVENLY. MY DREAMS PUT ME IN POSITION... DIVINE INTERVENTION, VENUS GIVE ME THIS SEXUAL HEALING. TRUE-LOVE-YES SHE FULFILLS ME. SERVING MY GIRL... A WONDERFUL FEELING

James’ dream was to play in the NFL and that was it. He didn't care if it was the last pick of the draft or freeagency. He said, “Ches, just let me get in there.” He didn't project financially what he would buy or what he was going to do with his money. His goal was to have his name called and everything else would take care of itself. I arrive back at the house around 1pm from a class boating trip around the San Francisco Bay. 3 and our roommate were on the couch with their girlfriend’s cooking lunch. He still hadn't heard anything and decided that he would go watch a former teammate play his first San Jose SaberCat game. Literally as he’s walking down the hall his phone rings causing him to retreats closing his room door for complete silence. In the living room the screen chimes and says Green Bay has just made their selection. With the 78th pick in the 2007 draft, the Packers select James Jones wide-receiver from San Jose State University. 3 came out the room about two-minutes later and I gave him a hug congratulating him. Of course a bottle of Remy Martin cognac was bought-holding him to the five-year drink promise. Family and friends arrived in no time to turn an un-planned draft party into an all night fiasco ended at one of San Jose’s premiere night clubs.

ALPHA &

OMEGA

DREAMS DO COME TRUE.

The silver lining in this story as I could've wrote another 30 pages; Is that James did everything the right way. He didn't cheat the work, he stayed glued to the process, and attacked each day with a smile. In December he texted me asking was I interested in coaching at San Jose State (alma mater). We had maybe talked once during the season because I was coaching and back in school for my master’s degree. He was in the process of transitioning from his nine year professional career, to the big screens. Ironically our former Wideout coach Brent Brennan, who coached us our last two-seasons, was awarded the job. James is currently loving retirement. His oldest son seems to be the one with the speed in the family. Jones is a homebody, who loves the company of loved ones. He continues to be a shinning light and real example that a HEART filled with LOVE and GOD, we can achieve what some would call our wildest dreams. Every year James & his wife Tamika host the families NeverThinkAboutFailure (NTAF) camp in his hometown of San Jose, CA. For questions about the work Mr. Jones does, he can be reached through the organizations website lovejones4kids.com, twitter handle @LoveJones4Kids, or Facebook Love Jones 4 Kids.

YOU CAN NEVER WORK TO HARD FOR SOMETHING YOU WANT...JAMES JONES

DONâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;T LET ANYONE STOP YOU FROM ACHIEVING YOUR GOALS!

YOUTH SPORTS: IS THE NEW MODEL BUILT TO LAST?

The landscape of youth sports has changed dramatically. Highlight reels produced from 7on7 tournaments is what parents, kids, and the rest of the industry look forward to seeing on a weekly basis. Charlatan “trainers” who watch YouTube videos mimicking others drills and putting them into their own words. Parents needing to hear what they want instead of what’s going to make their children better on the field and in real life. The talent level is at an all-time high but the skill of the game is diminishing. It’s normal or easy to blame social media as the reason; but like an old saying, “ Guns don't kill people, people behind the guns kill.” I think self exposure in a climate or age where the average person spends 9 hours a day on devices is a dope thing to do. Nobody will support you more than yourself. Problem is the talent doesn't know what’s good and what’s bad. Coaches, trainers, turned ‘marketing directors’ are a part of the reason why kids chase instant gratification. Instead of fine tuning their respective individual skill; they would rather show up to a 7on7 tournament, make a few plays, post the video and expect an offer (smh). Technically a football scholarship can not be offered until after an amateur’s junior season and not before July 7th (2016). I meet parents and coaches all the time who boast and brag about certain kids having offers in 9th or 10th grade. This is Felonious or Fictitious; the kid does not have that offer. No letter with an official stamp or head coach signature exists. We gotta start being honest out here. Over inflated these kids heads to false reality creates an illusion that scholarship offer’s aren't hard to get. "

According to the NCAA, About 5.8 percent, or approximately one in seventeen,

of all high school senior boys playing inter" "

scholastic football will go on to play football at an NCAA member institution. "

Based on this number it’s impossible for every kid on each high school team to have legit offers. The thing that kills me is the same autonomous post across social media, “Blessed to receive my 1st (or whatever number) offer.” Or the dad’s who think their kids are all world, but are unwillingly to invest in him, so they choose a cheaper un-proven alternative. Someone that makes him feel good because the amateur needs the money and know an ounce more of the football than the dad. If a man won’t stand for nothing he’ll fall for anything. No wonder so many young athletes run when the tough gets going.

IF YOUR HEART IS RIGHTITâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S NOTHING THAT CAN STOP YOU!

SONG OBSERVATIONS KISS IT BETTER

- - - - - - - -

COVERED IN CLOTH/ THE LOVE SHE HAD AND THE SEX KEPT HER AROUND WHAT YOU GONE DO TO FIX IT (SHE’S ASKING DUDE) SHE WANT’S HER SUNSHINE BACK (RIHANNA IS NOT HAPPY INTERNALLY) SINGING MAY APPEAR SEXUAL= FAR FROM THE TRUTH. ADMIT IT HURTS TO LOOK IN HIS EYES ( ESPECIALLY HAS SHE’S BEING PLEASED SHE DOESN'T HAVE REGRET FOR GIVING THAT BOY A SECOND CHANCE- SHE JUST WISHES THE APOLOGY CAME FROM THE HEART- BUT NO ONE IS TO BLAME GIVES HER BACK TO HIM, BUT WANTS ONE MORE KISS TO SO SHE COULD GAUGE IF SHE CAN FEEL THE LOVE THROUGH HIS LIPS RIHANNA FEELS ASHAMED- NOT REALLY LOOKING IN THE CAMERA. NO EYE CONTACTAVOIDANCE

LOVE ON BRAIN

- - - - - - - -

CLEANING IN WATER WASHING FILTH- PISCES TRAIT WANTS TO HIDE IN THE ONE PLACE SHE FEELS COMFORTABLE FEELS TRAPPED PURPLE IN WATER IS THE BLOOD FROM HER MANY INCIDENTS EVEN WITH PAIN- SHE STILL SEE’S THE LITTLE GOOD LEFT IN DUDE ALL THE MUSIC SUCCESS AND MONEY FLOWING IN BUT WHO CARES ABOUT THE MONEY WHEN HER HEART YEARNS FOR LOVE. AS PURE AND CLEAN AS HER HEART IS, SHE DOESN’T COMPLETE HIM ALREADY LOOSING HER SELF WORTH WITH EVERY DUDE IN THE WORLD AFTER HER, SHE ONLY WANTS WHAT HER HEART WANTS. SHE RECEIVED THE MOST DEVASTATION BLOW WHEN HER WORTH WAS NOT VALIDATED BY DUDE DENYING HER HIS SEED.

LOVE IS SITTING ON THE BED IN HER DORM-GIDDY AND HAVING THE TIME OF LOVEâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S LIFE. LOVE CHOPPED HER HAIR, LAYERED LIKE A TLC VIDEO, LOVE MAKES YOU SMILE EVEN WHEN YOU PLAY MAD. LOVE IS SHY, BUT LOVE IS NOT SCARY. 66

Love knows exactly what you need without saying a thing. Love is weird and loquacious, Love is like a grape, bubbly and vivacious, Love is wavy and blue. Love is majestic and royal.

MIND

BODY

SOUL SEX

APPEAL OF A PISCES

IN LIFE, YOU WILL ENCOUNTER BIG BLOWS; BUT MAKE SURE YOU GET UP AND KEEP PUSHING FORWARD!

SONG OBSERVATIONS YEA I SAID IT

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

SHE'S CRUSHED INTERNALLY GUARDED, BODY- SPACE (CLOSED LIKE A CLAM) SHE’S TIMID, SOMEWHAT (SHY OR SCARED)- WOMEN USUALLY PUT THEIR WHOLE HAND DOWN A MAN’S SHIRT WHEN COMFORTABLE HAND OVER HIS HIS HEART (HER’S IS STILL CLOSED)HAIR IN HER FACE PALMS HAVE SPACE BETWEEN THEIR BODY’S/ DOESN'T FEEL SAFE ARM BARELY ON HIS BODY. NOT WRAPPED AROUND HIM- HEAD ON HIS EAR NORMALLY FACE ON NECK (PHEROMONE AREA) HAND IN ARMPIT AND TOP HAND TO TIGHT THE OBLIQUE GRAB IS TOO HARD TOO TENSE, BODY WEIGHT TYPICALLY DROPS ON A MAN GRABBING SHIRT= HANGING ON BUT WANTS TO LET GO BREAST NOT TOUCHING HIM- POWER OF DISTANCE ARM IN SHIRT GOING LATERAL/ NOT HORIZONTAL HAND CLOSED/ FIST CHEST IS WAY TO OPEN- COULD'VE MOVED NECK POSTURE IS OFF ONLY GENUINE PART OF VIDEO WAS HER SMILE AT THE END OF THE VIDEO (SHE APPEARS PETRIFIED TO EVEN TOUCH A MAN)

“IT’S GOOD VS EVIL… IF YOU RIGHT AND YOU GOT GOOD ON YOUR SIDE I REALLY TRULY BELIEVE THAT NOTHING CAN STOP YOU”

Love is clever and optimistic, love has a flip side. LOVE hurts, love is calculated, LOVE seeks validation in proving others wrong, overweening internally whispering â&#x20AC;&#x153;They just don't knowâ&#x20AC;?. Love is between LOVE and I. Love is morning kisses, eyes fluttering to the sight of light.

LOVE’s space is crowded, LOVE’s elation dances from the violet to red to orange, chin slightly tilted, eyes In Horizon, pheromones vape nostrils filled with sweet LOVE’s nectar. Sparks fly, souls touch, twinkle’s reciprocate. Flesh meets, Darkness fills, LOVER is lifeless, soul’s Unite.

RIHANNA It’s time for you to heal. I’ve watched not only the 3 videos discussed in the previous section, but another 10 more in total. You resilient, strong, and generous; showing compassion, through discernment, with benevolence— while on this journey to give world love. You continue to be the shining light for so many men and women across the globe. More courage on display than the King go the Jungle himself. Born February 20, 1998 under the wonderful astrological sign Pisces. Like Jesus— Living in others pain yet you find ways to give more of yourself day in and day out. Cursed with unbelievable loyalty that is hard for others to understand. Taking blame for other’s wrongdoings and forgiving them before their lips fix to say sorry. Grandiose visions of changing a man’s heart that is malodorous, unloving, and monstrous at its core. For the past 2 weeks as this project began, I've written song after song thinking of the perfect way to say whats in my heart. (Yes, kind of crazy when you think a complete stranger has the guts to write a letter to a megastar at the pinnacle of her success. But those who know me would tell you I'm a bit of a daredevil who likes to follow his gut feeling). Too many so called “men” in this world are cowards. A lack of self-esteem and confidence is a sorry excuse to ever feel the need to harm something so delicate. The inspiration behind this letter comes from the women I’ve lended an open ear to for them to vent (promising them secrecy). The common denominator is the blame or excuse the females put on themselves. A lack of self-worth with pounds of internal stress caused from suppressing their emotions, not ever fully healing.

FENTY Myself and the millions of fans appreciate the passion, the pain, the realness that ripples through your vocal cords when you get on that stage and perform. Holding back the water flow allowing your fans to let there’s go. Can’t deny your strength that's for sure. (Tears are running down my cheeks listening to Woman’s Work as I write this). One glaring observation during your live “Love on the Brain” performance is the Angel on Earth that you are. Eros spreading her wings of LOVE from city to city. Your zeal is relentless. You have been at an impasse with your heart and mind for years. With an allure and ameliorative gift, it’s natural for people to come to your aid. The pisces in us does not like other’s to feel sorry for us. To show others how tough you could be, one fish swam to the bottom of the ocean wall and the other just sat there. The night “Yea I said It” played in my earphones my initial thought was, “Man… Rihanna showing her sexual side.” I replayed the song watching the video 23 straight times. Each time the video played, my mind was at a cognitive dissonance because your words and actions were not in harmony. The vulnerability and awkwardness on display was refreshing. I think it's sexy when a women can show her goofy side. However, my mind works in abstract, and could see the minute details of volcanic eruptions affecting you immensely deep. This letter was written before this last weekend’s news of you becoming engaged. Congratulations if anybody deserves it, you do. Make sure you let this man take care of you and love you properly so you can finally heal.

As I sit here today I wonder who the hell I really am. Am I the former collegiate athlete that was ineligible his first year due to poor high school grades? Am I the former NFL player who thought that he had outlived his utility after he lost all of his money and was eating out of a Jack-in-theBox dumpster? Or am I the man that climbed out of that dumpster, started his own business and tomorrow will start his first day at Harvard University? As I sit here today it is difficult for me to say what is impossible. I am a man who has lived a life that 95% of men wish they had, as well as been through a literal shitty situation. I'm not typing this to enumerate all of my struggles, because at the end of the day it doesn't matter, and more importantly, who really gives a fuck. I'm just here to disseminate this message and hopefully it will fall upon the right eyes. Now that I've become the voracious reader that I am, I subscribe to the “Andrew Carnegie Dictum,” which essentially states that it is important to spend the first third of one's life getting all the education one can, the next third on making all the money one can, and the last third giving it all away to worthwhile causes. Now if you know me then you know the latter will never fucking happen, but these are definitely wise words to live by. Fitting it all together, my overarching theme is that the dreams of yesterday are the hopes of today and the reality of tomorrow. Whatever you dare to “dream” of today, contemporaneously work your ass off to give yourself the best chance to achieve that. On the eve of whatever moment you are “hoping” for, just remember that everything that you worked for has brought you to this moment where that dream will now come to fruition and tomorrow what you thought would be impossible to reach, will be reality in the morning.

2007 7TH ROUND DRAFT PICK OUT OF SAN JOSE STATE- ONLY WIDEOUT DRAFTED WHO DID NOT RECEIVE AN INVITE TO COMBINE

JOHN BROUSSARD’S TRUTH.

SEMANTIC

A girl so Pretty I never thought I’d see a girl so pretty, a girl who caught my eye, a girl who made me feel a tingle deep down from inside. I really would like to know you and be right by your side, just talk about those special things, which we often seem to hide. Because its kind of a crazy world out there and people don't seem to care, and I am just a different guy with so many special things to share. Just talking means so much as it resolves so many things, yet people are afraid to do so because of the consequences it brings. Have you ever tried to say what was really on your mind and people just wouldn't listen or didn't seem to have the time. You felt a bit confused and you didn't know what to do, it’s as if you’ve been deserted and were left without your clue. Well I would like to listen to what you have to say, as long as you feel free to speak in your own natural way. I want to thank you for the time you spent to listen to what I had to say, because these words were wrote just for you, in hopes that I made your day.

College Football is comprised of players, coaches, teachers, universities, fans, television, media, digital platforms, et. al. An entity such as the NCAA shouldn’t be responsible for the actions of sole individuals. Their purposes are as stated:

Finishing up my magazine, making sure I’ve touched on topics heavy on my heart right now. As I flash back to my college playing days, thinking about the coaches’ I had the opportunity to play for. I google my first head coaches name Fitz Hill and run across the title of his book ‘CRACKBACK!’. Underneath the title the is long tail phrase “How College Football Blindsides the Hopes of Black Coaches”. Two weeks-ago I earned my Entertainment Master’s degree in Sport’s Management. I feel obligated to speak on the subject because I played three-season under Fitz. Currently I’m the only black varsity coach on arguably one of the most eminent high school programs built; Mater Dei High School. Any entrepreneur will tell you every situation that goes wrong is a learning opportunity. Being diligent while having patience, sagacity, enthusiasm, tenacity through sacrifice is the key to success. Each of us can add or subtract an adjective or two but for the most part each person will sound redundant if an infomercial played the recording. I disagree with Hill’s statement but understand the place and perspective that I feel he’s hinting at in the book. I was fortunate to read a portion of coach Hill’s dissertation. Fitz is one intelligent man from a theoretical standpoint. His hard nose get in a player’s face coaching style didn’t bother me because I my upbringing was tougher than Coach Hill yelling in my face. The first reason I disagree is because the words “College Football” create an ambiguous statement open for countless interpretations. The next reason I would disagree is because a lot of blacks don’t grow up dreaming to become football coaches. Some are not good teachers and most are selfish individuals. Entitled with a Niggardly (Stingy) attitude.

1. (a) To initiate, stimulate and improve intercollegiate athletics programs for student-athletes and to promote and develop educational leadership, physical tness, athletics excellence and athletics participation as a recreational pursuit; 2. (b) To up hold the principle of institutional control of, and responsibility for, all intercollegiate sports in conformity with the constitution and bylaws of this Association; 3. (c) To encourage its members to adopt eligibility rules to comply with satisfactory standards of scholarship, sportsmanship and amateurism; 4. (d) To formulate, copyright and publish rules of play governing intercollegiate athletics; 5. (e) To preserve intercollegiate athletics records; 6. (f) To supervise the conduct of, and to establish eligibility standards for, regional and national athletics events under the auspices of this Association; 7. (g) To cooperate with other amateur athletics organizations in promoting and conducting national and international athletics events; 8. (h) To legislate, through bylaws or by resolutions of a Convention, upon any subject of general concern to the members related to the administration of intercollegiate athletics; and 9. (i) To study in general all phases of competitive intercollegiate athletics and establish standards

whereby the colleges and universities of the United States can maintain their athletics programs on a high level.

The mentioned purposes in my opinion have nothing to do with the coaches and their jobs. I understand I have not read the complete book, but playing as a walk-on for Fitz and his staff my reality trumps most theories as we journey forward. For three-seasons I remember the head coach’s up-hill (no pun intended) battle with administration and even some boosters. Teacher’s wanted to get rid of football with prejudice. All they had to do was look at enrollment to understand football on any campus increases attendance. Many fans more than players are aware of donors and alumni having major influence on a coaches’ tenure in the program. Case in point Lane Kiffin (Former USC HC) fired on the bus after a loss to ASU. The injustices that Hill may have felt from his first head coaching job and being a black man from the south; are beyond my scope. I’m not qualified to speak on it. 75% of the players in college football are black, with the numbers holding true to white coaches. America was built on laborious work. If a man wants anything in life bad enough, he can achieve it. Six percent of high school players play college ball and .03% of the players make it to the NFL. The grandiose talent belief, creates biased fal-

I agree with Hill that the sporting industry contains many racial undertones. Fitz you were born and raised in the south. (I give no passes to any many to infer racially degrading comments) I’m sure you know there will always be a prejudice with slight forms of racism that stem from a ethnocentric bias. Being the person you are and wanting things to change; shouldn’t each person start with themselves first. Mater Dei is catholic and I’m complete opposite of the uncle tom, go along to get along type of coach. No matter age or cultural differences we may have, the men I work with respect my grind, enthusiasm, unselfishness and love for the kids.

lacies that cognitively contradict such as the mutually exclusive hypothesis points out. This is a major reason why many athletes don’t achieve more on the field success. Relating this to coaching it’s the same principles. Majority of black coaches (using 50.1-to 49.9 as majority) have perceptual illusions. Especially if these men have played college ball. Knowledge and perception are arrived from different systems. The knowledge as a former player inhibits a coaches’ true perception of their coaching ability. Fitz may have not been the best head coach; but I feel his underlying message was to teach fatherless black men to take advantage of their opportunities. It could be argued that he failed at facilitating a culture focused on uplifting impoverished black athletes while producing a winning culture. It also can be argued that his staff didn't do their part in helping promote and achieve his message. A head coach can only be as good as his staff. Having worked in a locked mental/behavioral health hospital for 4 years. The director of nursing message can only be implemented if the floor staff fully supports it.

Race is not factored with those components in any sector. Take my position coach for example Keith Williams who turned down Hill’s initial offer to GA because coaching wasn’t in his heart. When he decided to accept the GA offer, divine intervention would thrust him into a permanent division 1 receiver coaching job with no real sacrifice. So, he may not fully appreciate the position especially if you factor in the third DUI he’s received since 2004.

LO VE Love is Pretty, LOVEs smile is like the Earthâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s rotation-never ending. Love comes from one place, the key to everything in the universe. Love is not something you give, itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s something you become.

Words CAN Change Your Brain 12-Steps- Intimacy, Cooperation, and Trust Step 1: Relax- Stress generates irritability, Stress generates anger, Stress shuts down the ability to communicate and cooperate with others Step 2: focus intently on your breathing and relaxation, you pull your attention into the present moment. Step 3: Most of us are only able to stay Relaxed for brief periods of time because of inner speech. Step 4: Before any conversation, take a mental inventory of your mood. Rehearse concerns Step 5: Money and pleasure are lot of peoples values. Such people make bad risks for relationships that demand trust, integrity, honesty, kindness, and fairness—Values for LOVE and BUSINESS Step 6: Enter a conversation with an inviting expression that conveys kindness, compassion, and interest. Step 7: “Keep your eyes on the individual you are conversing with in order to discern non-verbal messages. Basic facial expression 7 (Anger, Fear, Sadness, Disgust, Surprise, Contempt and Happiness)- Distract your Inner Thoughts Step 8: First words will set tone for the entire conversation ( compliments enhance cooperation and trust); Keep expressing appreciation during conversation—Has to be genuine though. • Relationships need nurturing; (Let people know you appreciate what they do for you or even just that you're glad they’re a part of your life. (Be Genuine) Step 9: Speak Warmly- convey your compassion and sensitivity. Looking for discrepancies between the face and the voice ( joy, pride, embarrassment are more accurate facial expressions) • Dropping pitch of voice and talk more slowly helps listener respond with great trust • We use words to express our wounds, and we use our words to heal ( Strong, harsh, or dominance voice impel others to comply with our wishes) Caution-leads to resentment that leads to weaker performance Step 10: Slow speech increase listener’s ability to comprehend what you are saying (Increase Respect for Speakers) • Kids mimic adults by matching their tone. Step 11: Whenever possible limit speaking to :30 seconds • Golden Time • Write down major points helps consolidation Step 12: Listen deeply and fully, you use train your mind to stay focused on the person who is speaking: their words, tone, gestures, facial cues— everything.

HOW LOVE LOOKS

LOVE is ventricle from pumps of aortic pulsations. Love is safety not belts or keys from pleads off 911 scenes. LOVE is elliptic reaching heights never imagined. LOVE accepts infinite imaginations and solutions to the worst problems. LoVE screams LoVe shouts, LOvE humbles, grumble, and becomes trouble. A love of this magnitude radiates dissonant phenomenons â&#x20AC;&#x201D; symmetry the HEART nor MIND can readily identify. Subjective reasoning as a way to except the harsh reality that LOVE is BLACK. 82

He always thought he was smarter than a man holding a Ph.D in education who had given him the chance of a lifetime. He wanted to usurp Hill’s authority. So the message you were giving and his message did not equate. Fitz has a background in military and is a part of Alpha Phi Alpha fraternity, I’m apart of Omega Psi Phi; and we both understand oneness is essential too survival and success. Sideline quarrels with the Head Coach are counterintuitive. But men like this always feel the need to prove themselves to other men, thinking it’s cool to talk to talk back to the commander. In addition, a real street nigga (persona he’s infatuated with) commend educational excellence that “Real” men achieve. It’s the guys who weren’t raised as such, who tend to put down a man’s educational success, attempting to gain attention by suppressing a man’s merits behind his back. How could coach Hill achieve coaching success or change a culture when his downline is against him? This example shows why I think college football has nothing to do with a Black Head Coaches’ Success. Keith said he hadn’t read a book since 1996 but was somehow smarter than a man with a few degrees and still getting better. (Still a nigga) James and I got caught taking a longer break than we should’ve from study hall. When the door opened and Coach Hill popped his face in the dungeon, our jaw’s hit the floor (We thought he had left). This is when I finally saw or felt that Hill’s agenda was bigger than wins and losses on the field. Making us clean up the locker room I’ll paraphrase his frustration, This is what makes me sick with our youth and culture today. Y’all get the opportunity to do something you say you love, get an education that’s paid for, and waste it. Many people would love to have the opportunity even if football was not factored to go to school to obtain a degree. Instead of using this time to get ahead in your classes and learn a thing or two. Y’all continue to screw up. This is part of the reason other races do not care if we kill each other or if opportunities pass us by. Come on guys it’s a must that we do better. Chester you’re a walk-on and James you’ll be lucky to pass the semester anyway. How would y’all granny’s feel if I called informing them that y’all was screwing up (we both looked at each other). He struck a nerve because our granny’s has raised us and was the first person we would never want to let down! Fitz I’m all for black equality and coaches having more opportunities. I’m at the soil level and see the lack of effort we as blacks give when something gets a little tough. The things I’ve observed in youth football, are the new age dads who want to save the day. Instead of letting the kid compete and work for something they want, the parents transfer the kid. Let’s add this to the equation Fitz; the dad’s leveraging a coaching job with their kids’ talent. So many fundamental teaching opportunities are missed because too many want the glory without the sacrifice. I can say this though, James and I needed and appreciated tough coaching. The three Yung Gunz (James, John, Chester) who Fitz was most tough on have turned out ok. James has won a Super Bowl, playing nine season in the NFL; and is transitioning into broadcasting. John owns his own training facility. He has recently got back in school at Harvard obtaining his undergrad in philosophy and psychology with a business master’s degree. I’ve owned a clothing line that I’m revamping. I provide Wideout and personal sculpting, with a newly discovered talent of creative writing. I have my M.S. in Entertainment Business- Sports Management and currently looking at doctorate programs. I appreciate the fight you’re willing to put up for an injustice you believe in. I over-stand the financial windfalls that will come to you, constituents and future coaches. I could one day be on a panel helping fight the cause. But, for any change that is due to take place in American Football; once we achieve internal success I feel we can have an abundance of wins externally.

THE HEART WANTS WHAT IT WANTS. PURSUING HER LOVE THROUGH CHASMS AND TONGUES, HISSING WHITE SOUNDS, CONNIVING DAY DREAMS,

TRAPPED

SEARCHING FOR THE QUEEN, OVERDOSING ON LOVE-PHETAMINS.

FOCUS ONE OF THE MOST IMPORTANT ASPECTS OF SUCCESS

FEAR EXAMPLES OF FEAR/ SHORT STORIES Leon was friends with a girl name Lucie who was a year removed from a six- year relationship. She thought she knew what love was; her boyfriend on the other hand let her know he wasn’t in love with here and he would never marry her because she was not wife material. Her fear of being single kept her in a bad relationship for 2 more years. As a good friend Leon was transparent and honest when answering questions about anything Lucie needed advice on. So heartbroken Lucie seemed to always put Leon down and would tell him he was mean and insensitive. Leon was even called a bad friend considering he told her she was beautiful and laughed at her non-humorous nerdy jokes (Leon had zero interest in Lucie). Ironic that she labeled her former boyfriend as caring, nice, sweet, although he belittled her, never called her beautiful and kept her around two years after informing her he would never walk the isle with her. People fear being alone, they accept anything for love.

Moses knew a guy named Luther who was in search of finding himself. Luther tried every religion known to man kind. One day he was Christian, the next month Mormon, a few weeks later Apostolic, then 7th day Adventist, et.al. Moses decided to go to a bible study with him. Luther started referring to himself as a black Hebrew Israelite. Moses follows his gut and is not one to believe everything he hears. Luther would giggle like a Hyena and call Moses the antichrist. Moses never got mad or judged Luther for his actions although he knew Luther was an everyday liar. Luther was a guy who loved to gossip. He once told a dancer that he hated Moses although he smiled in Moses’ face. When the young lady revealed this to Moses, he let her know that he knew Luther’s feelings toward him. Although that’s how Luther felt Moses would stay a loyal-good friend because other people’s actions shouldn’t dictate his character. Scripture eludes to the point that if a person is a liar, that means the truth is not in him. And the man who is honest has the love of God in him. The man who lies- walks in darkness hating his brethren. Karma would have its turn and Luther, through a blood test, learned of the birth of his daughter Emerald two months later... missing her first cries! He that is a liar is antichrist and whatsoever is done in the dark will always come to the light. He that doth righteousness is righteous, even as he is righteous. This guy had fear of the truth, looking for acceptance in man; not GOD. People will project on to others how they feel about themselves on the inside.

What is Fear?

FEAR

Dictionary fear - an unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain, or a threat: drivers are threatening to quit their jobs in fear after a cabby's murder | fear of increasing unemployment | he is prey to irrational fears. • archaic a mixed feeling of dread and reverence: the love and fear of God. • (fear for) a feeling of anxiety concerning the outcome of something or the safety and well-being of someone: police launched a search for the family amid fears for their safety. • the likelihood of something unwelcome happening: she could observe the other guests without too much fear of attracting attention. Bible 1 John 4:18 - There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear; because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made in love. In my most humbled opinion Fear is the one word that holds many people back. It is a word that will cause someone to be negative, pessimistic, and cause doubt of many things on earth. Fear will stop a person from moving forward keeping them from ever obtaining their dreams, goals , or aspirations. Fear is the opposite of faith or belief. Every human being as the ability to close their eyes and create a vision off of words or previous encounters. If they mind can allow one to vividly imagine a good or opposite moment in their life, while their eyes are closed. Wouldn't that mean seeing has nothing to do with believing? And belief has everything to do with how far we allow our imaginations to conjure or dream the things we have not yet seen. Faith is trusting in a higher power that you can obtain the things visualized in one’s dreams. Above all fear is the biggest contradiction on the planet. It’s impossible to have, give, or be love if fear lives in a person’s mind, body, or soul.

GOD IS LOVE

HAMILTON BROWN The first time I met Hamilton Brown and his son Pierce was at Golden West Junior College. He had an inviting and warm demeanor about himself. I proceeded to give his son and impromptu of what was to come the following day. Watching his son warm up, immediately I notice the flexibility and grace in his overall demeanor. This 13- year old kid is more professional in his approach than most kids in high school. Pierce is quick, has a graceful long stride, and undoubtedly fast. From a route running standpoint my expectations never made it to the field. He’s young and hadn’t been sculpted by “The Best” yet. By the 5th workout it’s apparent that Pierce has a high learning curve but HB (as I affectionately referred to him as) is impressed at my ability to transform his son’s game that fast. Hamilton has recently moved his family from Chicago and informs me he’s sought out the best trainers for his eldest. “They were good, but dude what you have done with him is impressive. The depth and attention to detail, with the ability to not only demonstrate, but explain it to his level is special”. In a chuckle like tone, letting the compliment fly over my cranium, I expres-

By the second or third workout I can usually tell if the parent will renew the sessions. What the parent doesn’t know is I’ve made it up in my head that their child doesn’t have what it takes to be good. I coach hard with even wealthier expectations. For every 20kids I work with; only 1-2 want it more than me. This reason my $100+ a session has stayed fixed is, not only want to see the hunger of the kid but more importantly how much these parents are willing to invest in their “prized possessions”. HB informs me that he wants to keep working with me. I told him I would text him the details and I let know him that his son has the thing I look for in kids his age. Pierce made such an impression that I dropped the price down to $40 and told HB to bring the twins for free. I felt it was more important to be in this kids’ life till he declares for college (and beyond) than have him for another week and not hear from him again.

F A M I L Y M A N

The interesting thing about Hamilton is his willingness to listen to man who’s about a decade younger. One thing that hinders kids in this generation is their dad’s want to be the focal point. Not only that, they want their kids to have the best trainers without paying for the worth of that coach/ trainer’s skill. They also feel the need to validate what they did when they played to their son and the coach. Dads newsflash no one cares about what you did but you. I played college ball and don’t talk about unless the kids ask. I have an extensive background in psychology. Working four years in behavioral health and reading 1-2 psych books a week while obtaining my Master’s this year. After workouts, I point out certain triggers of Hamilton’s that affected his son during workouts. Sharing with him the behaviors of other dads and how it affects my players. I let him in on an observation from a previous workout. As Pierce attempted to start the drill HB yelled, “Let’s Go. Do it Right”. What he didn’t see was his flinch as if frightened, he tensed during the drill essentially hindering his progress. Over the next week or so I purposely voiced expressions like, “Forget what dad says out here, he’s going to be proud of you no matter what”. “We practice, to become better not to

be perfect; there’s no such thing as perfection”. I also asked Hamilton to not say anything during workouts unless it was “Good Job Son”. After two-weeks of this Hamilton shared with me that during that time Pierce let him know that at times he can be a bit too much and it affects him. While listening to him share this intimate conversation with his kid. I not only become fond of HB as a man but as a father as well. I could tell he was touched by the words Pierce expressed to him. But to put away his pride and ego admitting to another man that he was wrong is a lesson that many men can learn from. Knowing Hamilton the way that I do now, he just wants what’s best for his family. Having met his lovely wife “Carol” It is very clear that she’s the Oracle of LOVE. The place where HB becomes a gentle giant and where the kids get re-assurance. It’s apparent that the Brown family is a unit; they laugh, crack jokes on each other, but they LOVE and support each other unconditionally.

WESTSIDE WHAT ADVICE CAN YOU GIVE YOUNG PEOPLE? “Don’t support the phonies. Support the real. Listen to what they say. Forget about that clicking up that thing, be to yourself, stay to yourself. Trust nobody! Trust nobody! My closest friends did me in”

HONESTY REAL CONFIDENCE LOVE SELFLESS UNAFRAID COURAGEOUS TENACIOUS LOYALTY PASSION SACRIFICE

Be real in everything you do. Speak from the heart. Tell the truth because can’t nobody get you in trouble for telling the truth. it’s lies that put you in bad places. You have to be real with yourself before you can be real with anybody else.

“All I can tell a young nigga is, stay down and be patient. Be ready to go up for something you believe in . You can’t pick and choose the battles you face. Regardless if you win or lose, each situation is a learning lesson for the next situation. Don’t get over on people. Value friendship more than anything material because a real, true homie is hard to come by now a days.

Kiss it Better Slam it Slam it You know Better Slip Slide I want You to Feel me All night, Hold that Grip I like how it feels. Apex Glued, Keypadâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s turn- Oh I Like that, to hear you moan, Wind Blowing, Simple Touch Mind Gone syllogistic Clones

Love on the Brain I put on a white gown, neurons dance in defeat, heart falling off this mound so ashamed of giving you my key, the problems go round and round, the devil never goes to sleep, Love fallen heard on the ground, water slants now we disagree, Sounds of Rain-so concrete, pounds torment deep, my core pretty monster so embouchure, You were good, you are bad, I don't know you no more.

THIS PARK HAS MANY TALENTS I think love is a force of nature that comes from many different states of minds, attitudes and the affection someone has for a person or even an object. Love comes from the pleasure that the certain person or thing gives you in my opinion. Love can also be the devil though because the feeling you get when that person or thing doesn't love you back puts you in a whole different state of mind. I know for me I would feel self doubt as far as if my love isn't good enough for the person or thing meaning that I'm doubting that the love I am showing or giving isn't worthy enough for that certain someone. Love does what it does because it can gain control or a dominion over u meaning it can make u think differently and teach you a lesson about your feelings in a good or bad way. I think love can either tear you down or build you up because like I mentioned earlier it's not always guaranteed that the person or thing will feel the same way about you in relation to the love you have for them.

HEART FILLED WITH COURAGE ON THE FIELD; BUT A MUSCLE GUSHING WITH LOVE OFF OF IT. 92

Words CAN Change Your Brain Ten-Day Experiment- (designed for managers, executives, and business leaders needing skills to maintain and grow a successful company, and personal lives.) • Upon waking up, take a few moments to stretch, breath, relax. (roll shoulders, shake out the hands) • Then ask yourself, what is my deepest, innermost value? • Create log and record your words, along with any feelings or reactions you have relating to doing the exercise. • Day 11 answer these 7 questions, 1-sheet of paper, be spontaneous, no right or wrong answers. 1.) What was your initial reaction to this exercise? 2.) Was the exercise enjoyable, boring, interesting, annoying, etc? 3.) How long did you spend each day, contemplating your inner values? 4.) Did the exercise have any effect on other aspects of your day, work, life? 5.) How do you define the word “value”? 6.) Did you discover anything about yourself? 7.) Did the exercise influence the way you think about your work and business values?

• “Widespread dialogue about the interpretation and application of values, enhances accountability, collaboration, and initiative.” • Helps people to come together and express mutual support. • Better ethical choices mad to better the company • Discussing business values openly, eliminates the need to impose impersonal and coercive rules. • Decrease’s interpersonal conflict, cooperation grows, everyone feels apart, and profitability increases for everyone. • Reinforces teamwork and collaboration

An enterprise employee denied service to my cousin; denying him service with no explanation of refusal. This same cousin who has a disability deemed by the state of California. This employee mentioned that he was either the branch/ regional manager. He let it be known that this was his job and his main purpose for work was to pay his mortgage and take care of his wife and kid. None of this had anything to do with giving great customer service. His job did not involve putting the customer first; leaving personal feelings at the door. The phone

rang and his fake enthusiasm (lack there of) was so apparent even his boss corrected his speech of a “good” day to a “great” day. As we parked in the parking lot the employee motioned us to go find a seat inside saying, “He would be with us in a second.” My cousin and I watch him and two other employees take group photos behind an SUV stationed in the parkway. Thinking they were done or that something was wrong with the truck; they unlatched the bed, jump on top of it, while continuing to make facial expressions with each selfie snap.

We waited about five minutes and watch the employees have a ball of fun. Once the guy started helping us; (my cousin who suffers from schizophrenia) is confused and aloof to to the mountain of requirements. He provided the proper paperwork and could not access his banking information via his cellular phone because of spontaneous voices that play in his head. The biggest travesty is our 12-year old cousin was waiting to be transported home from a successful surgery at an area hospital.

In our humbled opinion, Barstow enterprise located at 620 main street, should not be a location to rent cars from. Across the street rival Hertz is a much better choice. My cousin made the reservation, had a telephone bill, driver license, debit card, and his social security letter verifying his source of income. This employee who happens to be black even admitted that because we were black he was more cautious to rent to us. And if something were to go wrong he could lose his job. This is a blatant form of prejudice and almost border’s the line of racism. I personally have rented from enterprise locations with other races going above and beyond to ensure I left with a car. I’m an entrepreneur meaning I don't have a job or direct source of income. Not once have I had to provide income in 7+ years of renting (two-years continuous at one point). The goal here is not to attack this man with an H-bomb. But, to show the world why love, compassion, and heart is needed in the workplace. If a person looks at work as only a job, then they most likely wake up un-happy or dread going to work. A person like that causes more harm than good to society. As we walked out my cousin said, “See they always treat me like this and I don't know why. I bring them what they need and they always deny me a rental.” (paraphrasing) I said man don't worry about it, things will work themselves out. You got a good heart and we did the right thing; plus GOD dislikes evil deeds. He always takes care of his children, especially the one’s who help out people. A person should not be judged because his shorts may hang a little low and braids twist in his hair. The man has a mental disorder and was denied many rights that are privileged to persons with disabilities because his look was stereotypical.

To those who took the time to enjoy or learn from this magazine, we would like to say thanks. It means so much to be able to reach people in a capacity where a helping hand (in this case word) could change a life. Something internally tugged at us to provide insight of everyday struggles, affecting lives daily. We hope the words expressed give kids, teens, adults the strength to not only recognize change is needed. Now is the time to take that small step toward the change we as a: people, society, race, and world so badly needs. The curse word(s) or slang printed throughout, were used to keep the material organic. INDULGE MAGAZINEâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s intent is to not offend anyone, but we will tell the truth. Thank you! For any comments, questions, or concerns you can reach us at treasureluck23@gmail.com

THANK YOU WORLD