Comedic meditations

Marcella Arguello on style, self-care, and sober vs. drunk ordering at McDonald’s

By CRISTALLE BOWEN

Since making her network television debut in 2015 on Last Call with Carson Daly, Marcella Arguello has been annihilating crowds with her stand-up. A native of Modesto, California, who now resides in Los Angeles, Arguello is one of the hardest working comedians around. In 2023 she made her HBO Max half-hour special debut with Bitch, Grow Up!

The special highlights Arguello’s versatility, displaying confident crowd work, great one-liners, and self-reflective stories. Good comedy is thought-provoking and heartwarming, if it’s done right, and Arguello does it right—brilliantly tackling subjects like pandemic dating, misgendering, drug abuse, “adulting,” and being a very, very tall woman.

A quick look at the dashing 6’2’’ entertainer’s resume reads like an impressive who’s who—she’s shared and commanded the stage with Hasan Minhaj, Hannibal Buress, Bill Burr, the late Norm Macdonald, Paul Mooney, and more. Judging a book by its cover really doesn’t apply with Arguello; the sometimes racially ambiguous, larger-than-life Latinx comedian shocks with personal punchlines you’d never see coming.

At a time when looking inward, expressing gratitude, and unapologetically living as your authentically flawed self is almost a cliche, Arguello manages to o er a tongue-in-cheek, “real bitch” POV. Accepting the shit that happens to us with an open mind isn’t always easy. Arguello’s 2022 album, Motivational Monday Meditations, is a hilariously on-point grounding project reminding listeners that happiness is only a feeling, and all of our feelings are worth exploring.

Fast-forward to the present day, and Arguello is still embracing her feelings, flaws, and fascinating experiences, traveling cross-country with new jokes and reimagined quips. She appears this Friday at the Lincoln Lodge with openers Becca O’Neal, Gwen La Roka, and Chloe Mikala. Arguello recently took time to talk to the Reader about comedy, food, fashion, dating a Chicagoan, and much more. This interview has been edited for length and clarity.

Cristalle Bowen: You’re on the road a lot. Are you a gas-station connoisseur or are you indi erent?

Marcella Arguello: I’m a gas-station toilet connoisseur. In California I know all the best

Marcella Arguello NATHALIE GORDON

truck stop toilets. And I recently discovered a brand-new one that feels like utter luxury. I love a spacious bathroom on the road, and I don’t know if people openly appreciate them enough.

Your ’fits are always on point. What’s your best advice on becoming a fashion icon?

Experiment! Experiment! Experiment! I loved reading my mom’s fashion magazines as a kid, and I couldn’t wait to experiment with clothes and makeup. I guess also historical consumption. Fashion repeats itself, but style is unique, so reading up on the old, the new, and the current is extremely helpful. But once you do that, just do whatever you want. And stop limiting yourself to size and gender; you can wear anything meant for anyone. Lastly, never let people who dress terrible and boring make you feel bad. Confidence will take you to icon status.

What’s your McDonald’s order when you’re sober, and when you’re less than sober? Is there a di erence?

I just upgraded my go-to sober order to a deluxe spicy crispy chicken sandwich with extra pickles with fries and a coke because it’s one of the few fried chicken sandwiches on the fast-food market without dairy. But when I’m drunk? A number two, which I think they actually changed to a number seven—what’s the deal with that? You can’t do that to people, especially drunk people. But it’s two cheeseburgers, fries, and a drink. Yes, cheese. My drunk brain could care less that I’m not supposed to have dairy.

Who was your first favorite comedian? Do you remember the joke that blew your mind?

My dad? Is that an acceptable answer? I really don’t remember. I was always into every form of comedy before I even knew I wanted to pursue it. But I do credit battle rap shows as my first live comedy experience as a teenager. Those dudes were super funny, and I’ll never forget that feeling of learning that people can just be performatively funny whenever and however they want. That always stayed with me.

The WGA went on a national strike at the beginning of May seeking better pay, among other things. How are you a ected by this, and does that dictate how you operate as a comedian these days, even on a tiny level?

As a member of the WGA, I stopped focusing on being a writer a while ago because things were so bad it made no sense to continue pursuing writing for television. It’s really nuts how much money is out there and how much money is not in the pockets of creatives. So, I’ve been able to focus on my own creative endeavors since well before the strike started. Now it’s just even more precision-focused— not having to worry about auditions or writing submissions means I’m not being distracted by everyone else’s hopes and dreams and I can just focus on mine.

Now I’m gonna get into your business. Is it true you have a long-distance relationship with a Chicagoan, and if so, what is your favorite “bae” thing to do in the city?

Eat. And we also love having meals together.

Walk me through a day where you have a set at a small comedy club. What does that morning routine look like, and what are some of the things you do to remind yourself how dope you are?

First, I start with a morning meditation where I tell myself how beautiful, hilarious, and perfect I am. Then I eat a healthy breakfast packed with proteins and nutrients, followed by an intense workout session based on influencers I follow. While working out, I only listen to Mozart and Janet Jackson songs, but only from between the years 1996-2001. I skip lunch so I’m ravenous for dinner but I watch my HBO special on repeat for two hours instead of having lunch so that I get full on myself. Then, I call my agent and/or manager and tell them they’re nothing without me, to really get my blood going. I write ten to 20 new jokes by 7 PM and eat three gruyere cubes, and then I hit the stage.

And if you believed any of that, then please come to my shows so I can make fun of you. v

@PsalmOne

JINKX MONSOON: EVERYTHING AT STAKE

Fri 7/ 14 8 PM, Chicago Theatre, 175 N. State, msg.com/the-chicago-theatre, $ 52 . 50

Performance