Shame, shame, shame

Blago, Donnie, Phyllis, and other shameful campaign absurdities

By BEN JORAVSKY

The weirdest, almost psychedelically surreal moment of the campaign season occurred last week when Blago showed up at Trump Tower to rally Black support for President Donnie.

We know about this thanks to Tom Schuba, ace reporter for the Sun-Times, the only media person to gain access to the affair. As such, Schuba was on hand to witness a maskless Blago make his pitch.

“I’m one of your homies,” former governor Rod Blagojevich told the crowd of about 25 or so Black MAGA lovers, few of whom bothered to wear a mask.

Wow. I mean—wow. If there’s a voter in the universe—Black or white—moved to vote MAGA because of Blago’s endorsement then . . . well, I don’t know, maybe the qualifications for voter eligibility aren’t high enough.

Oh, no—I feel a surge of Baby Boomer vote-shaming coming up . . .

Not proud of these moments. It’s an affliction that comes with age. Be warned, millennials, it will happen to you in about 30 years, whenever you see an abnormal abundance of voter ignorance and irrationality.

Like, to go back to our example, Blago wooing Black voters for Trump by denigrating the Chicago Democratic Machine.

Let me pause to remind you that for better or worse, everything Blago got in politics he got as a result of his connections to the Democratic Machine.

In particular, his father-in-law—former Alderman Richard Mell—without whom Blago would never have been elected state representative, much less congressman, and then governor.

Black people voting MAGA because of Blago’s endorsement is not even this campaign season’s most self-destructive act.

That distinction goes to pensioners who plan to vote no on the Fair Tax in part because of a fraudulent TV commercial paid for by billionaires.

I’m alluding to the infamous commercial featuring Phyllis, a retiree from Park Ridge who tries to scare pensioners into voting against the Fair Tax on the grounds that it would slap a tax on their retirement income.

It won’t do that.

Repeat, the Fair Tax won’t do that.

Phyllis—or whoever wrote the script she’s reading—just made that up.

I get so frustrated at the thought of Phyllis scaring retirees into voting no on the Fair Tax that I wind up howling at the moon . . .

Shame, shame, shame on you people!

I bet there are many pro-police retirees on the northwest and southwest sides who hate Governor Pritzker because he’s had nice things to say about the Black Lives Matter movement.

So, they’ll vote against the Fair Tax largely because Pritzker supports it. And they figure by voting no they’ll be punishing Pritzker, even though they’re really punishing themselves. Let me explain . . .

The state does not tax retirement income— pensions included. To be even clearer, you pay zero state taxes on your retirement income. Pensions included.

The Fair Tax would raise the rates the wealthiest residents pay in state income tax. But it doesn’t affect retirees—because retirement income is not taxed.

People, I’m trying to make this as clear as possible. So, one more time . . .

Pritzker could raise the highest rates to 50 percent, and it still would not affect retirement income. ’Cause—all together now—retirement income is not taxed by the state!

If the tax is zero, and they raise the rate to 50 percent, you still pay zero ’cause zero times 50 percent is still zero.

You freaking idiots!

Sorry, sorry, that was really inappropriate. I humbly apologize for that shameless outburst of shameism.

All the extra money raised with higher rates on the wealthiest residents would help pay for the state’s massive obligations, including pensions. And so retirees could vote to have someone else fortify their pensions.

But, guess what—many will vote no because they hate Pritzker.

In contrast, those Black MAGA lovers cheer-

Now Blago’s the public face of Trump’s campaign in Illinois. He’s so popular with Republicans that he was invited to be the featured speaker at a Republican fundraiser in Will County.

If Blago ran for governor in the 2022 Republican primary, he’d probably get a bunch of votes. With a few tweets from Trump, he might even win the nomination. Blago v. Pritzker—what a showdown!

Now imagine if Trump harnessed all of his power and tweeted out support for the Fair Tax. It would probably win by a landslide. Sigh. If only my shaming had the power of one tweet from Trump. v @bennyjshow