From: The Editor <idrazin@cjhs.ccsend.com> on behalf of e-news Sent: Friday, March 21, 2014 3:03 PM To: Tara Seymour Subject: The Purim Edition
Happy Purim, CJHS! 19 Adar II, 5774
This Week at CJHS The Best Day of the Year Costumed Concepts Revenge of the Purim Spiel Class Action Tikkun Olam Projects Tigers in the News Spring Sports YPI Fundraiser STAND UPdate A Taste of... Something Alumni Trivia Passover Panic Change in Leadership
March 21, 2014
The Best Day of the Year You knew this Monday was different from all other Mondays when... Rabbi Silver despaired of the noise level in the Beit Knesset and therefore started services ten minutes scheduled...
earlier than
New students recognized the crazy pop melodies in psukei d'zimrah, but Sra. Linda couldn't place them... The entire shacharit service was run by the teachers... The Torah reading was chanted by Imam Feinsmith in his
file:///C|/Users/tseymour/Desktop/The%20Purim%20Edition.htm[3/26/2014 11:55:10 AM]
Shabbat Shalom
Save the Date
brick-thick Arabic accent... The Beit Knesset was packed to fire hazard levels, but no one was out shmoozing in the hall!
Sunday, April 13 ACT at CJHS Monday, April 14 Sunday, April 27 Pesach Break Monday, April 28 Classes Resume
College Visits Nativ March 27, 10:52 a.m.
Vanderbilt University April 10, 9:56 a.m.
P.O. Corner The P.O. is pleased to continue the gift card "Gelt" program. This program is designed to help families earn money toward their children's junior year Panim program and/or the Senior Israel Experience. Faculty and staff can also buy Gelt to support programs provided for the school by the P.O. By buying things you ordinarily purchase anyway, you can earn money which will be credited to your family or class for designated school trips. Contact Sheri Sandrof at ssandrof@cjhs.org or call her at 847.324.3723.
P.O. Recommends
Kol Isha: Voices of Women in the Bible April 7, April 28, and May 12, 9:15- 11:30 a.m. at CJHS Award winning educators Dr. Betsy Katz and Fran Alpert are teaching a spring course open to the CJHS community! Topics include Esther and Ruth, Women in the Egypt Narrative, Women in the Book of Judges, Women in
Costumed Concepts
file:///C|/Users/tseymour/Desktop/The%20Purim%20Edition.htm[3/26/2014 11:55:10 AM]
Tefillah this year was subject to an unusually high level of security, thanks to the senior boys' Secret Service brigade. The entire Beit Knesset was placed under round-the-lock surveillance, and suspicious characters (such as inoffensive sophomore Michael Welder and confirmed junior Benji Fishbaum) were surrounded, arrested, and escorted from the premises to be frisked in the hall. High-profile figures of authority fared no better, including the rainbowcolored hippie formerly known as Mr. Frank, and the high-profile superhero known as Rabbi Silver, who managed a last cry of, "Page one-fiftyeeeeeeeeeeight...!" as he was dragged from the premises.
King David's Life, and Archeology and the Bible, and more! To register, please mail a $100 check made out to Betsy Katz, 744 Laurel Ave, Highland Park, 60035. Questions? Contact Betsy at bracha@comcast.net. JUF's Jewish Day School Night Tuesday, April 1, 2014 - 7:15 p.m Open to parents, teachers and board members. Dessert reception at The Holiday Inn North Shore 5300 W Touhy Ave, Skokie Featured speaker Dr. Rona Novick will address the issue of Bully, Bullied or Bystander: The Roles children Play. Dr. Novick is a nationally acclaimed expert on bullying and author of BRAVE the bullying prevention program for use in schools throughout the country. Watch for a reminder card coming shortly in the mail! Find the CJHS P.O. on Facebook here.
Community News and Events
Well, the first Robin of spring is finally here... or is that just Rabbi Silver? This year's staff sported so many clever costumes, they couldn't fit on one stage, from the language department ladybugs to the math department's green St. πtrick's Day special, to Diane Zidman's biker behind the front desk and Dr. Auslander as the new CJHS baseball team. School librarian Eleanor Parker stole everyone's hearts as Liberty and Justice for CJHS, while Ms. Murphy and Mr. Burda, continuing an inside joke from AP Psychology, came as the Stanford Prison Experiment. Ms. Katz came as the main character from The Invisible Man*, while Mr. Griffith, blandly incongruous, came as one of the many faces of Satan.
Sounds of Faith
Anshe Emet Synagogue Sunday, April 6 3:00 - 5:00 p.m.
file:///C|/Users/tseymour/Desktop/The%20Purim%20Edition.htm[3/26/2014 11:55:10 AM]
The student body put on an equally uproarious showing, including Yadid Licht and Eliel Stofenmacher's Daft Punk, Zev Mishell, Arielle Small, and Felix Rosen's Snap, Crackle, and Pop, Ruli Warner-Rosen's Ghille camouflage suit (think those giant trees from Lord of the Rings), Julia Mati's boy
Tickets are $20 per adult; $10 per child ages 10 - 18. Click here to purchase your tickets online or call Molly Schlemmer at 773.281.1423. Group sales (10% discount) available for 10 tickets or more.
scout ensemble, and Maddy Mynatt as a long-awaited Luna Lovegood. We saw Winnie the Pooh, Alice in Wonderland, a whole volleyball team's worth of surgeons in scrubs, and a huge selection of everyone's favorite sports teams.
Rumbula's Echo
Holocaust Film Work-in-Progress Screening with CJHS Connection Rumbula's Echo is a new documentary that shows how a huge mass shooting of the Holocaust changed a family, a country and our world today. The internationally filmed documentary includes several stories with a local connection. Among those featured are Glenview survivor Sia Hertsberg, U of C professor emeritus Edward Anders and Chicago's Lieber family. The film opens with the genealogy search for a CJHS student's namesake, which also plays into the ending of the movie. The documentary's central event is the mass shooting of 25,000 Jews in two days in the Rumbula forest in Latvia. The film, which is still being finished, has been test screening "rough cut" material to international acclaim. A Chicago work-inprogress screening is being presented Sunday March 23, 11 am to 1 pm, at the Claudia Cassidy Theater, 77 W. Randolph. Afterwards, survivor Sia Hertsberg and filmmaker Mitchell Lieber will answer questions, moderated by Loyola Holocaust professor Dr Elliot Lefkovitz. Advance tickets only. This event is presented with the assistance of the Illinois Humanities Council. Click here for more details.
size=2 width="100%" align=center>
If you're experiencing any mysterious feelings of Deja Vu, it may be because of the annual CJHS Impersonators brigade! Ruff ruff ruff: the junior girls lampooned the senior boys with deadly accuracy: basketball warmups, puppy ears and all, though sans the classic senior boy scent of unwashed sweats and leftover bagels. Gavi Schankerman and David Steinberg switched places, right down to the trademark Steinberg hair streak and airport-sized wheelie backpack of doom. Turnabout is fair play this year: Mrs. Eliaser turned the tables and came as Maya Behn, reawakening suspicions that these two legendary CJHS drama llamas are really the same person, plus or minus 48 inches of hair. Honors for this year went to freshman Jon Silvers, who came in a kapote and fur shtriemel in honor of sophomore Michael Welder, to father-and-son shadow team Zach Becker and Josh Pliskin, to Emma Siegel, who came as a paint catalog in twoscore and ten tasteful shades of pastel grey (think about it), and to
file:///C|/Users/tseymour/Desktop/The%20Purim%20Edition.htm[3/26/2014 11:55:10 AM]
Sponsor Breakfast What's better than a birthday celebration with friends? Celebrate your student's birthday or other milestone with a special breakfast at CJHS.
For a donation of $180 (10x chai), bagels, cream cheese, and orange juice will be served to everyone. Announcements will be made in Tefillah and in the dining hall, and the occasion will also be listed in our weekly E-News and on the school announcement board. If you have any questions, please call 847.324.3713 or email dzidman@cjhs.org. Order forms are available online here.
Sarah Comar whose incongruous chef's outfit covered in pasta represented a rather different profession and swept the category for "Most Outrageous Costume of 2014"! In addition to the senior boys' security brigade, best team themes included the seven bagel-festooned, Israeli-sweatshirted layabouts who came as a Bad Case of Senioritis ("We'd walk for the cure, but we can't be bothered to care...!") and Jessica Hochberg, Dana Levin, Shira Harris, and Maya Behn, who came as the stars of Disney's Frozen. These last contestants lost major points with the judges for not being able to belt out a Grammy-winning performance of Let It Go on the spot; fortunately, as Benji Fishbaum was able to do so at the drop of the hat, the costume contest was saved from absolute anarchy and we were able to complete our sumptuous Purim seudah without having to summon the riot police. *
Quick Links Our Website
Online Calendar Trumba Tips
Lunch Menu
Think about it...
Revenge of the Purim Spiels
2013-2014 Dates
:: 847.470.6700
file:///C|/Users/tseymour/Desktop/The%20Purim%20Edition.htm[3/26/2014 11:55:10 AM]
Payback was the order of business this year, as juniors, seniors, and faculty raked up twelve months of scores, muck, and dog bones in the rip-roaring spectacle that is the annual CJHS Purim spiels! The faculty is continuing The Examined Life project, busily examining who has the biggest crush on Rabbi Robkin and how much brain trauma was caused by the choice between basketball sectionals and the Model U.N. conference. Apparently, the biggest challenge for new social studies teacher Ms. Kassner and Mr. Eskin is not our crazy bell schedule or the terror that is Night of the Living ISACS, but the fact that they were actually hired to impersonate Mr. Roman Marchenko and Mr. Elliot Danko, long-gone folk heroes with whom they have very little in common. Mr. Kassner: No, I don't play the guitar, and I don't have a beard. He has a master's degree... do you have a master's degree? Mr. Eskin: A master's degree? I'm only... what, seventeen?
Meanwhile, Somewhere in Madrid, the junior class spiel starred newcomer Eliel Stofenmacher, busily Googling this strange place called CJ on every corner of the web. CNN News correspondents Hannah Given, Shira Forester, and Hannah Lynch were seen interviewing passersby in Millennium Park about key issues ("Approximately how many times do we say 'Hallelujah' each Friday morning?" "Just what is the deal with Rabbi Robkin's beard?"), while STAND.com offers a relief fund for all the poor, deprived CJHS students who often must go days without basic necessities, such as a morning Starbucks run, a new pair of Uggs, and an iPhone 5s. Mr. Scher's musical morning extravaganza "Good morning CJS!" is apparently all over YouTube: Good morning CJS! Everything's going to be fabulous! Oh-oh-oh I love you all-If you want to talk, go down to the Shapiro Dining Hall!
file:///C|/Users/tseymour/Desktop/The%20Purim%20Edition.htm[3/26/2014 11:55:10 AM]
Jordan: Mr. Scher, we're CJHS. Elan: Same thing!
AdoptACJHSDawg.com with Eli Schrayer introduced potential pet owners to the large, hairy, immature dawgs that are the senior boys; Amazon is apparently selling all the possessions confiscated by Sra. Linda and Mrs. Eliaser in the course of a month. And if none of this could convince our most far-flung transfer student to pack his bags and head for America, consummate gangsta rappers Rayna Gorstein and Shira Forester took to the airwaves in the next generation of G!
Evan put up his beats--you bopper your head and were snappin' So kal va-chomer, got to do my own Gorstein rappin'. I'm the real G here at 1095, Fightin' for a bagel, tryin' to stay alive... To do advanced math, you don't need a degree: The CJHS math team ain't nothin' without me!
Live From the CJHS Security Tapes, the senior spiel staged the candid camera footage caught on our ever-vigilant security cameras, from Coach Gleicher
file:///C|/Users/tseymour/Desktop/The%20Purim%20Edition.htm[3/26/2014 11:55:10 AM]
rehearsing his catch phrases in the mirror ("Put your shirt on!" "Gym ends at 4:10 and no earlier!") to Rabbi Robkin reliving the danger and exhilaration of his old army days in the IDF (where he virtuously studied Gemarah, only in combat fatigues). Gita Karasov's bubbly sales pitch to a prospective transfer student ran into unexpected hurdles--like Ms. Murphy's students begging for brain bucks, the yoga-tastic bongo zone that is Rabbi Feinsmith's Talmud session, and what really goes on in Mr. Griffith's English class ("You ARE the Swede!"). Hidden cameras viewed Freshmanz 2.0--the boys, this year--in the bathroom, slicking on so much hair gel that there's barely any room on their heads for their hair, while Mrs. Eliaser appeared to spend her off-hours coaching her unborn child with physics nursery rhymes. What is actually inside that purse that Eliana Kaufman continually clutches? Fox News with Jonathan Gidron had the expose, plus fashion tips from the pouty Spanish hottie that is Mr. Eliel Stofenmacher himself and the one and only Ms. Lizzie Jansen, setting the trend in womanly and stylish tefillin straps. A freilichin Purim to all our readers, from Evan the G, Effie, and all the rest of the class of 2014!
file:///C|/Users/tseymour/Desktop/The%20Purim%20Edition.htm[3/26/2014 11:55:10 AM]
Anyone who wants to sit down with Sra. Linda and drink a shot of decaf every time a typo appears on screen in a 2014 CJHS Purim spiel may never be able to stand the sight of coffee again.
Alumni Trivia Did you know that the traditional Purim spiel was performed live, with dropped scripts, flubbed lines, and Mr. Scher missing his cues? Which alumna invented the choreographed musical video extravaganza that inspired every single one of this year's productions? As we bid farewell to the last class who can sing the Mr. Marchenko song, where are our groundbreaking comedienne/ songstress and her trusty co-anchor?
Class Action Lawsuit
A class action lawsuit is pending on behalf of the freshman class, who felt underrepresented in this week's Purim spiels and didn't get any of the Mr. Marchenko jokes. Plaintiffs can register with Emma Siegel as part of the campaign to prove that freshmen are funny, too. All allegations of corruption on the Va'ad Spirit vis a vis the judging in the costume contest are being settled out of court by Rabbinical Beit Din. Contrary to usual custom, Mr. Griffith is not qualified to serve on the rabbinical court; please direct all input to Rabbi Silver.
Tikkunim the 'Lam
file:///C|/Users/tseymour/Desktop/The%20Purim%20Edition.htm[3/26/2014 11:55:10 AM]
In another great CJHS Purim tradition, students and staff hit the road for our annual Tikkun Olam projects. After a series of icebreakers and improv games, freshmen spent the afternoon visiting with residents at Gidwitz Place for Assisted Living up the street in Deerfield. Tenth graders stocked the food pantry at the ARK in Chicago under the direction of AVODAH Intern, Hannah Rosenbaum ('09)--a truly instrumental part of the program--as well as schmoozing and davenning mincha with the clients. The ARK's director of volunteers, Caroline Musin Berkowitz, kvelled, "The CJHS sophomore class was stupendous. They unloaded an entire U-Haul container the size of an elevator, and sorted the food for our food pantry. As part of the experience, the students learned about how we distribute the food, and what we do with non-kosher items that are donated. (They are given to other area food pantries.) Thanks to their hard work, The ARK's pantry is stuffed to the gills this morning!" One team of juniors headed into the city to set up a men's hospitality house at the Illinois Coalition for Detained Immigrants, while another seeded spring plants and painted signs out at Pushing the Envelope Farm out in Geneva, IL. One team of seniors visited the Springman Jr. High in Glenview to play games and run projects with special needs students, while others took over the Purim programming with the children at Moriah PreSchool, here in Deerfield. The jazz band and the vocal ensemble put on a Purim concert at Friedman Place, a center for the visually impaired in Chicago. Alexander Brown, the interim director of Friedman Place, writes enthusiastically, "I heard from several residents that it was the highlight of their week--please consider this a standing invitation for a repeat performance...!"
Tigers in the News
file:///C|/Users/tseymour/Desktop/The%20Purim%20Edition.htm[3/26/2014 11:55:10 AM]
In their usual display of feverish haste, the Chicago Tribune has just noticed that we won a few big basketball games; reporter Steve Sadin commends our devotion to a thriving religious and social life in the face of choices that take time away from basketball practice. Read all about it here, then submit your bet as to when they'll notice that the Chicago River is green and that Rahm Emanuel has been elected mayor of Chicago.
Spring Sports Begin The 2014 spring athletic season is here, and with it our new spring sports: ice fishing, snowtubing, slushball fights, parking space excavation, and that ever-popular Chicago favorite, planning grievous bodily harm to local meteorologists. The CJHS intramural track and field club will also be holding puddle-jumping races to see who can sprint from the parking lot through the wind tunnel to the front door without slipping on a patch of ice. The Goodman Mudflats, formerly the CJHS athletic fields, will be rededicated by the Environmental Club as a rare bird sanctuary later this season.
YPI Adar Fundraiser
In its most innovative and controversial fundraiser yet, YPI proposes to give Mr. Scher free run of the P.A. system until we have raised $10,000 for the HIAS. Students and staff can prepare to be bellowed at from 7:45 a.m. until 4:10 p.m. in a constant stream of reminders, exhortations, encouragement, and disciplinary summons, punctuated by Broadway hits and other "fabulous" catchphrases. The "Get Mr. Scher Off the P.A. System" campaign is expected to be the greatest success in YPI history; if successful, it will be followed by earsplitting basketball music over the loudspeaker during passing periods and after school when people are trying to make up quizzes, as well as premature breakfast announcements that interrupt Rabbi Feinsmith's koved rosh in the middle of a peaceful bout of meditation.
file:///C|/Users/tseymour/Desktop/The%20Purim%20Edition.htm[3/26/2014 11:55:10 AM]
STAND UPdate Sit down for a change.
All-School Shabbaton
The all-school Shabbaton begins tonight at the Holiday Inn Rolling Meadows. If you haven't turned in your form, it's too late now.
A Taste of Torah
This space left intentionally blank in memory of the week in 2009 when the Editor stuck a recipe for potato salad in the middle of an E-News article just to see whether anyone in the administration would notice. One proofreader out of three corrected the spelling of potatoe, but the rest returned unchanged.
Alumni Trivia
Groundbreaking comedienne Aliza Small ('11) produced the first video Purim spiel in 2011, including "Code Gabe and Aliza musical Green on the Clock," As the Left Turns, and the mythical Mr. Marchenko song. Now a junior at Tufts, Aliza is majoring in English and minoring in film. She reports from the East Coast, "I'm the first female executive producer of a sketch comedy show called The Institute, run through Tufts University Television. It's modeled after Saturday Night Live. I also work at a comedy club in Boston and do some standup around town. As always, Purim makes me miss everyone in Chicago, and I hope you're all doing fantastically!" Meanwhile, over in St. Louis, Aliza's co-star Gabe Rubin ('11) is double majoring in Spanish and history at Washington University. He is currently studying abroad in Madrid, since, "Señoras Brejcha and Linda always stressed how important it is to learn a language along with its culture, and how right they are! Back in St. Louis, I hope to become editor-in-chief of the Washington University Political Review, the premier magazine on campus. I've been a staff editor for the past couple of years and have written for it since I got to school. It's a lot like the CJHS Policy Forum, except we don't have to sneak into the front office to make copies! We're also much more than just a magazine- in the past few years we've brought in Gary Kasparov, Nate Silver, and Jon Huntsman as guest speakers. And we've got a lot more planned for next year. I also cohost a jazz, blues and funk radio show on KWUR FM." ¡Feliz Purim! Aliza and Gabe send everyone Purim joy from España, where they ran into each other over Aliza's spring break!
Passover Panic: Chag Ha-Aviv
According to Tractate Sanhedrin 11b, the entire Jewish calendar and leap year system is designed to ensure that the holiday of Passover be observed in the
file:///C|/Users/tseymour/Desktop/The%20Purim%20Edition.htm[3/26/2014 11:55:10 AM]
spring, based both on the vernal equinox and the spring growth observed in the fields. Therefore, according to the cRc, Passover this year is expected to fall on July 24. Look for updated Jewish calendars accordingly, and pay no attention to the acres of macaroons that have been on display at Jewel since Valentine's Day.
Change in Leadership: Who Is That Mysterious Masked Editor?
Breaking news: after many years of crying wolf, there actually is a new face behind the screen of the CJHS E-News! (Not Tupper, lehavdil.) CJHS Renaissance man Mr. Joseph Eskin, who has been teaching social studies, math, Talmud, M.U.N., English, basket-weaving, and synchronized swim since August is stepping up to the editor's desk, just to prove to his few remaining detractors that there's nothing this man actually can't do. Mr. Eskin has been advised to watch out for the bear trap Mrs. Eliaser has said to have set up before starting her maternity leave to ensure that the position remains filled until she is ready to return in the fall.
Mishenichnas Adar Marbim B'Simcha Candlelighting this week will be at 6:46 p.m. Shabbat shalom!
We hope you have enjoyed our special Purim edition, full of seasonal humor and silly Purim cheer. E-News will return to its regularly scheduled content next week. (Unless Mr. Eskin wants to keep it this way, in which case, take it up with him.)
Forward this email
This email was sent to tseymour@cjhs.org by e-news@cjhs.org | Update Profile/Email Address | Instant removal with SafeUnsubscribe™ | Privacy Policy.
Chicagoland Jewish High School | 1095 Lake Cook Road | Deerfield | IL | 60015
file:///C|/Users/tseymour/Desktop/The%20Purim%20Edition.htm[3/26/2014 11:55:10 AM]