March 1, 2013 / 19 Adar 5773
Happy Purim, Tigers! In This Issue Purim Day Costume Contest Purim Spiels Community Service YPI for Shalva IHSA Regional Champions Mooseheart's Big Challenge David Vs. Goliath CJHS in the News Security Updates Candid Camera
The Best Week of the Year
From The Editor
Save the Date Tuesday, March 5 Sunday, March 10 Model U.N. Trip Thursday, March. 14 Pi Day Friday, March 15 Friday 2:45 Dismissal Begins Monday, March 25 Pesach Break Begins
What day is it when cookies come first and praying comes second, when
Mr. Baumstark is present and punctual at tefillah while you don't come lounging in until 9 a.m.? When Ms. Gleicher-Bloom's baby is better behaved than you are? Well, here at CJHS, we call it MONDAY--I mean, we call it Shushan Purim! The ruach was flowing as Rachel Rubinstein sped us through shacharit with a dozen different funny voices--not counting the restrained little whimper when half a dozen masked mimes converged on the bimah with every sign of intimidation.
P. O. Corner Gelt Program The P.O. is pleased to once again introduce the gift card "Gelt program" to our families and we have made it much easier (look for upcoming email with details on how to register). Faculty and staff can also buy Gelt that will help to support programs provided for the school by the P.O. This program is designed to help families earn money toward their children's junior year Panim program and/or the Senior Israel Experience. The program is a passive earning system, in which you buy the things you ordinarily purchase anyway, and earn money which will be credited to your family for designated school trips. If you have any questions, contact Sheri Sandrof at ssandrof@cjhs.org or call her at 847.324.3723.
Community News and Events Moriah Welcomes Rabbi Harold Kushner
The faculty took over the Torah service in the annual rebellion against student leadership, with Ms. Frankel's fiercely patriotic "O Canada" rendition of the leyning complemented by Rabbi Feinsmith's "Fiddler on the Roof" cantorial style. And as the shaliach tzibbur was tackled by her little brother and carried from the amud, Shushan Purim services came to a rousing conclusion.
Sunday, March 10 5:00 p.m. Moriah Congregation 200 Taub Dr, Deerfield Rabbi Kushner is the author of more than a dozen books including the bestseller When Bad Things Happen to Good People. For tickets, bio of Rabbi Harold Kushner, and additional information visit www.moriahcong.org or call 847.948.5340.This event is cochaired by CJHS parents Jennifer and Stewart Flink, as well as Sheri and Neil Cooper.
Since Deerfield was not a walled city in the time of Joshua, we do not read the Megillah on Shushan Purim. Instead, SuperFeinsmith treated "Everything Is Illuminated" us to the Purim Hillbilly Jamboree, as composed Sunday, March 17 and performed by Rabbi 2:00 p.m. Noyes Cultural Center Feinsmith and his cadre 927 Noyes Street, Evanston of pantomiming, shimmying rabbi dancers. If you thought The Next Theater Company's last year's Jib-Jab show was funny, you ain't seen nothing upcoming production is Jonathan Safran Foer's yet; many thanks to pirate king Arthur Sredni and fairy Everything is Illuminated, queen Maddy Mynatt for contributing funny hats to the adapted for the stage by Simon performance. Block. It chronicles a young American Friends of Israeli War Disabled Presents...
Jewish man's journey as he struggles to unlock the secrets of his past. It follows the quirky journey of Jonathan scouring the rural Ukraine landscape in the search of a woman who may have saved his grandfather from the Nazis, accompanied by an old man haunted by memories of the war, an amorous and excitable dog named Sammy Davis Jr. Jr., and an irreverent translator with a unique grasp of the English language Join us at 1:00 p.m. before the show for an hour of light refreshment and camaraderie at the Noyes Cultural Center in the studio right next door to the theater entrance. The play begins at 2:00 p.m. Advance copies of the script will be available and we are invited to a
Rabbi Feinsmith's attempts to elicit onthe-spot guest lyrics from the audience yielded a, "Ruff ruff ruff!" from the
special post-show discussion with members of the cast and artistic team. The cost for this wonderful afternoon is only $36.00 per person. Make your checks out to AFIWDF.
hapless Evan Gorstein and some truly original commentary from Mrs. Eliaser who is certain to be fired for this as soon as the administration finishes laughing off Rabbi Robkin's Vashti dance.
Sponsor Breakfast What's better than a birthday celebration with friends? Celebrate your student's birthday or other milestone with a special breakfast at CJHS. For a donation of $180 (10x chai), bagels, cream cheese, and orange juice will be served to everyone. An announcement will be made in Tefillah and in the dining hall, and the occasion will also be listed in our weekly E-News.
Happy Purim, you big, bad Tigers! Costumed Concepts
According to Tractate Megillah 47c, every member of the community is required to sport a fantastic costume on whichever day Purim is celebrated in school. Rabbi Eliezer states that a costume consists minimally of a humorous paper sign; Rabbenu Zechariah says that street If you have any questions, clothes are acceptable if it is made please call 847.324.3713 or perfectly clear that you are dressed email idrazin@cjhs.org. Order forms are available online here. as someone else. Yoni Gabel says that bigdei Shabbos are acceptable as long as you hide behind a camera and take pictures of Opa: CJ Style! everyone else's costumes, but the chachamim do not permit this. Roll into school, head to tefillah at 8:05, Sign in at the front desk 'cause I didn't get here on time... Makin' this a habit is upsettin' to the rabbi, But for sleep, I need those extra five!
I smell breakfast near, Hope it's sponsored by someone, I got my bagel here, I'll grab three so you get none, Got my favorite shmear, the cream cheese with the onion, Gonna spread it on... the cinnamon raisin. And there goes Bruce on the speaker, "You're all world class! You're fabulous!" And there goes Bruce on the speaker,
2013 was the Year of the Brigade! Into morning shacharit
"You're all world class! You're fabulous! You're the best group of people-I'm so impressed!!!"
trooped the ninja brigade, the biker brigade, the hockey team, the Waldo Opa: CJ Style! posse, an army of mimes, and flock of Heyyyyy Tiger Ladies... Bum-bum-bum Opa: CJ Style! hippies. The Heyyyyy Tiger Ladies... sophomores took first Bum-bum-bum Opa: CJ Style! honors stealing the traditional senior black The bell rings for class, but for the Nivo brigade, while the language department came instead I head to Nancy... We catch up on the gossip, so I Gagnam-style and the math teachers revved up their tell her all my stories... leather jackets, Harleys, and protractors as Hell's Angles Talk out all my troubles, how my [sic]. And--RUFF RUFF RUFF--who let the dogs out? homework load affects me... With my pass in hand after my Someone let the junior boys off their leashes for the kvetching-spree! morning, because they were out in force, waggling their ears, fetching hats, pretending to widdle on anything tall Got my phone in class, and vertical, and answering every prayer with enthusiastic I hope the teacher doesn't see cries of, "RUFF-RUFF!" me texting all my pals-No filters for my browsing! My phone's got wireless! No note-taking-- I'm busy! I'll Facebook my friends & stalk teacher pages!
And there goes Bruce on the speaker, "You're all world class! You're fabulous!" And there goes Bruce on the speaker, "You're all world class! You're fabulous! You're the best group of people-I'm so impressed!!!" Opa: CJ Style!
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Smaller groups and individuals were 2012-2013 Year equally spectacular. Wicked awesome Calendar Shira Harris and Jessica Hochberg came as Elphaba and Galinda; seniors Zach Erlichman and Shelly Dekalo came as Jionni and Snooki, complete Lunch Menu with muscle suit, big hair, and a plastic baby which Rabbi Feinsmith ended up raising for them. We saw cubes and tourists, Join the Tiger firefighters and Club flower fairies and Mormon missionaries, Oscar, Elmo, and Kermit. Miranda Smerling and Rachel Rubinstein came as politics personified: the Elephant in the Room, complete with NRA, spending cuts, and Fox News, versus the tree-hugging, granolascarfing, NPRlistening avatar of "Occupy CJHS." Becca Abrams came as a latte and Carly Rubin came as a car hop, while Jack Rubinstein stole the show as the Loch Ness monster, complete with kilt and bagpipes. 2013 was a good year for puns: Ceren Maeir came protesting as Satantic Rights, while Alana Stoehr was a con artist, complete with beret and paintbrush. In a wonderful dash of creativity, Annie Schrayer, Dani Sery, and Caroline Dreifuss came as a giant s'more. (It's amazing what you can do with a solid color t-shirt if you get creative!) On the right, the policewoman's department of the junior class is on the hunt for cereal killers, so watch out!
The CJHS Teacher Cloning Project is pleased to offer another Purim full of results! Sarah Comar came skipping in as Ms. Frankel, complete with corded necklaces and fetching black sweater, while Ilan Hulkower, resplendent in argyle, made a very passable Mr. Scher. Further investigation revealed that Mr. Hulkower was decked in spy gear from head to foot and was actually a basketball spy from Mooseheart, inasmuch as no one would expect the likes of Mr. Scher to know anything about basketball. However, it was Maya Behn who carried off the "Most Realistic" award for the second year running: having swept the category last year as Mrs. Eliaser: Weekday Version, she came this year as Mrs. Eliaser: Shabbos Version, complete with IndoPakistani outfit and trademark beret.
Speaking of teacher clones, how long did it take you to blink at the sight of Mr. Griffith wearing "tefillin"? And is that gender equity advocate really Dr. Schorsch, or is it just Rabbi Silver dressed up as Dr. Schorsch? The Judaic studies faculty switched
places on Purim morning, as Ms. Frankel sported Rabbi Robkin's trademark lumberjack plaid and Rabbi Robkin did his best to walk a mile (or at least 90 minutes) in Ms. Frankel's high-heeled boots. Look through the crowd to find SuperFeinsmith with his mighty guitar of justice, Ms. Keefe as Fox in Socks, and Dr. Miller as that endangered species, the U.S. Postal Service! Last but not least, we must stop the show to applaud the maddening cute sight of baby Ezra Gleicher-Bloom all dolled up in his little skunk outfit, escorted by the enormously pregnant Coach Josh Gleicher (dressed to the nines as Ms. Gleicher-Bloom), while his sister Ms. Gleicher-Bloom borrowed Mr. Gleicher's trademark warmups and took his place. Ms. G-B says she will gladly teach health for a day and looks forward to seeing what Coach will make of her freshman mishna class.
Lights, Camera... Purim Spiels!
CJ Style! From the Faculty Purim Spiel
It's Opa!--CJ Style at the 2013 Purim spiels! Kicking off the lineup, the Class of 2015 presented The Shabbaton That Never Happened, where Jack Rubinstein makes his announcements in Klingon, Luna Lovegood--I mean Maddy Mynatt--searches the school for her seventeen lost possessions, and Mr. Scher enthusiastically shake s the arm off everyone who walks into the room. By the time Rabbi Feinsmith has finished making his neshama one with the Great Being, all the lesser mortals have all sneaked out of meditation minyan except the one poor
soul asleep on the yoga mat; polar bear cross-country athlete Jonathan Tupper is still manfully doin g pus hup s
despite having been run over in the parking lot; Ms. Friedman is wringing her hands in exasperation and Mr. Danko has flunked Isaac Johnston for knowing all of world history except the invention of the almighty necktie. Rabbi Robkin's lastperiod class has stopped bringing their seforim completely in hopes that their rebbe will just give up and teach them niggunim instead, and it's business as usual at CJHS.
SNL Shorts: The Junior Spiel starring Charlotte Kamin and Baye Miller provided musical interludes (APUSH in a Box, starring Avidan Halivni as Mr. Danko and Hillel Schwartz as Mr. Marchenko), drama (wheelie-toting, allpowerful mavens of cool The Lakeview Community), and comedy (That Shtetl Show). Commercials advertised Freshmanz--that wonderful new line of blond Jewish dolls--and cautioned the girls of CJHS against Stranger Danger, e.g. the senior boys lurking in the shadows, waiting to hit on them. Intrepid explorer Adam Taitz (1996-2013) braved the harsh winter terrain of the CJHS wind tunnel in the Man Vs. Wild snippet, where biting winds and bitter child pits human survival against the 200 feet of sidewalk leading from the parking lot to the front door. And Where in the World is Mrs. Eliaser? starring Maya Behn showed what the evanescent physics teacher is really doing when overwrought juniors are scouring the halls for her--if she isn't practicing her Jedi skills in the workout room, she's stuck in the checkout line poring over which giant water bottle is really "the thing." No students were harmed in the making of these films, except that Maya actually drank all the water in that huge bottle and spent half the morning running to the ladies' room. Meanwhile, the seniors are running their Keep the Spiel Alive event despite students' continual need to dash off to Va'ad meetings...
Elan: Mr. Frank, the juniors and seniors want open campus. Mr. Frank: Not going to happen. Elan: How about a muzzle for Michael Jacobson? Mr. Frank: That we can work with.
...or A.P. Chemistry: Nate: Mrs. Levinson, I must very respectfully accuse you of having senioritis. Mrs. Levinson: What makes you say that? Nate: I have tracked a second-order relationship between the number of days left in second semester and the number of anecdotes you tell about your adorable grandchildren. Mrs. Levinson: They are so smart, aren't they? I bet they'd do better on the AP exam than you would.
Mr. Griffith beat out Nate Swetlitz and Ceren Maeir for the title of CJHS' Most Jewish; Nat Moses' backpack was finally located on his back; ostentatious rapper Jonathan "Lil JT" Tupper took on Evan "DJ Eliyahu" Gorstein, and it was time for a splendid Purim seudah breakfast before the student body chewed their own feet off... or wet themselves laughing!
Community Service
After 30 minutes in the bathroom to wash off the green face-paint and an impromptu "Stairway to Heaven" singalong, the students of CJHS fanned out into the community to do some good. Juniors learned about homelessness and canvassed El stations with the Chicago Coalition for the Homeless, while freshmen took over the Purim festivities at Gidwitz Place for Assisted Living and CJE SeniorLife Adult Day Services in Evanston, where they ran carnival games, played Bingo, passed out hamantaschen, and led the holiday singing.
The sophomore class headed to The ARK for their community service program. The students met with staff and clients in The ARK's Intensive Day Program for adults with chronic mental illness, took a tour of the facility and the various clinics, and sorted food in the pantry. The afternoon was fun and productive, and The ARK's food pantry was stuffed full at the end of the day.
Ms. Caroline Musin Berkowitz, Director of Volunteers and Outreach and a former member of the CJHS staff, kvelled, "I was so impressed to see my former students helping each other to determine where prducts belonged on the shelves whether they were kosher--those that aren't are donated to other area pantries. The cooperation, teamwork, and sheer enthusiasm that CJHS brought to The ARK was contagious! We look forward to seeing the students monthly for CafĂŠ ARK and the ARK Book Club. We really value our partnership with Chicagoland Jewish High School."
The seniors travelled to Waukegan to meet with students from our sister school, Webster Middle School, where they watched the movie Freedom Writers and played the line game as seen in the film, examining their commonalities and their differences. Small group discussions then followed focusing on the impact of the film, the meaning of identity in one's life, and learning to accept the differences in our multi-cultured society. YPI for Shalva Many thanks to all who participated in our fabulous mishloach manot program and other Adar fundraisers this year! YPI, our youth fundraising initiative, is delighted to report that we have raised over $7,000 for Shalva! Keep your eyes peeled for other ways to contribute to this
important cause. And nu, we've been nagging you for weeks, if you've just gotten a new phone with the camera and the music and the texting in class, bring your old cell phones to the Cell Phone Drop Box in the office. Recycle that old phone and do a mitzvah!
Tigers Bring Home Trophy
Let's hear a big RUFF RUFF RUFF for the 2013 CJHS Tigers, who returned from Arlington Heights last week bearing their second IHSA Regional trophy! We're #1! We're #1! For the second time in the season, we're #1!
Regional Championship Highlights
Check out the full video special with highlights of last week's thrilling victory game, plus a photo retrospective and Gallery of Triumph, courtesy of Coach Newlander, who must not get any sleep at all.
Many thanks to Coach Marty Dello, Coach Lee Cohen, and Coach Mike Newlander on a truly record-breaking season, to our legions of fans who have turned out to support us, and to the talented Tom Snitzer of Snitzer Photography, who has documented our team's postseason with such amazing photographs.
Mooseheart Delivers Big Spirits were running high at Wednesday night's sectionals, where CJHS was privileged to play the team from Mooseheart Child City and School. Mooseheart is a residential campus for students whose families are unable, for a wide variety of reasons, to care for them. Mooseheart spent the weekend celebrating its first postseason basketball title in almost 50 years; the school has gained much notoriety in these past few months for having admitted three young men from Sudan, who, being exceptionally tall, were accused by other teams of having been recruited for basketball purposes. The IHSA recently ruled that all three young men who had fled Sudan seeking education and a better life are most certainly able to play on their high school team; CJHS Board President Michael Small suggests that if other schools are upset about the ruling, they also find some children in a war zone whom they can rescue, feed, and educate. The CJHS Tigers are truly honored to take on such noble and worthy opponents; as fan bus pulled into the parking lot, the blue face paint was daubed on and the tidy-whities were donned, the fans and parents agreed: no matter what the score was, we would all be winners this year! Congratulations to Mooseheart on a really great game: we look forward to a rematch next year!
David Vs. Goliath "They come with spears, with swords and javelins, with 7-foot players towering over our heads, but we come armed only with amazing coaching, an unstoppable press defense, spectacular three-point shooters, and the name of our God!" Wednesday's game pitted the towering bastions of Mooseheart's offense against the three-pointshooting prowess of our hometown Tigers. The Sun-Times' Mike Knapp reports, "Jake Newlander's three-pointer with 23 seconds to go gave the Tigers the lead for good and eventually a 70-67 win. Newlander's dagger from the deep right corner was the 10th trey of the night for the Tigers (21-3) on their 28th attempt, and capped a rally that saw them come back from 11 down in the fourth quarter."
CJHS parent Michael Small kvells, "This was the most exciting sporting event I have ever attended in my life. Those last five minutes, when we were down by 12, the kids in the stands started chanting, 'We believe we're going to win! WE BE-LIEVE WE'RE GOING-TO-WIN!' The players were right there--they could hear every word. And then Avidan Halivni charged--twenty seconds later, we're up by 7 points, and you could see those boys--the looks on their faces! They knew we could do this!"
"I had that feeling," Jake told the reporters. "When you are shooting well, you know it when it leaves your hand, and thankfully it went in." Newlander later added two big free throws with 9.7 seconds left and finished the night with a team-high 25. With brother Josh Newlander scoring 19 of his 21 in the second half, the Tigers scored 46 points in the final two quarters. That helped CJ set up its press, which had bothered the Red Ramblers all night long. "We wear people down; it's in the fourth quarter, and that's when we win our games," Tigers coach Marty Dello told the press. "That game played out exactly as I expected. We felt like if we could make baskets we could set up our defense and that was the difference."
"The last few minutes of the game were insane!" Lady Tiger Alana Stoehr excitedly reports from the stands. She and fellow Lady Tiger superstars Annie Schrayer and Caroline Dreifuss have loyally followed the Tigers to every game in the postseason and were first in the post-game rush. "When Jake knocked down that three and Fish sank both free throws to put us in the lead, everyone went crazy. We had to hold back our urge to storm the court [then and there], because we just wanted to celebrate with our boys and congratulate them on such an incredible and welldeserved win. It's cliched, but there are honestly no words to describe the feeling each of the fans as that final buzzer sounded."
Hot Off the Press! Our winning game is all over the hot sheets--if we could only say the same for our photogenic players! The Chicago Tribune is so surprised that Mooseheart lost, they can't seem to remember the name of the winning team--can you imagine? Thirty-six photos and not one of our Tigers among them! Irony of ironies, our most spectacular game-night coverage is in the Sun-Times' Aurora Beacon--the same newspaper that raked us across the coals at our last sectional in 2010, those short Jews who thought they could play basketball. Of course, our hometown Deerfield Patch is as proud as punch and can't wait until we take on Newark at the sectionals after Shabbat.
Now that the holy Shabbos is here, this morning's papers are getting a little more interested in our valiant team! "Pray, Then Play!" reads today's Sun-Times; this morning's Chicago Tribune is impressed that the IHSA has devised an alternate March Madness schedule that will allow our boys to play their games after Shabbat if our team advances to state. Our loyal Jon Kerr explains to the Deerfield Patch explains the "Sabbath first, basketball second" schedule, while Newark's basketball coach says he's ready to meet us any any of he week as he checks in with today's Aurora Beacon about this unexpected challenge out of Deerfield.
So, light those candles and roar out those zemirot, bless our Source who crowns the people Israel with splendor, and enjoy our Shabbat of glory! Game time is 7:30 p.m.--one hour and five minutes after havdallah--so fill up those tanks, rustle up some pom-pons, and we'll see you back in Mooseheart Field House tomorrow night for the Class 1A Sectionals!
Security Updates As reported on NPR last week, the U.S. has devised a national plan for controlling the spread of any zombie outbreaks that may threaten public health; Canada is now under pressure to prevent a surge of the undead crossing the border. Safety has always been paramount at CJHS. In addition to our policies for snow and other weather-related emergencies, H1N1 and other health scares, lockdowns and other intruder drills, Inez Drazin is pleased to report that we are now in compliance with the CDC's Zombie Pandemic Preparedness guidelines. US Assistant Surgeon General Dr. Ali Khan has commended our policies, saying, "If you are
generally well equipped to deal with a zombie apocalypse you will be prepared for a hurricane, pandemic, earthquake, or attack." CJHS families, please log on at cdc.gov, assemble a kit, and put together a plan! Many thanks to Matthew Dulberg's family friends in Northbrook for providing a secret crypt for CJHS students to fall back to in case of an undead insurgence.
Candid Camera Regular viewers of the CJHS YouTube channel will be delighted to hear that we are expanding our programming lineup. In addition to Wednesday Night Basketball with Coach Newlander and VH1 starring guitar-slinging teachers who think they can sing, we will be offering a whole new series of reality TV courtesy of the school security cameras! "Buns of Steel: A View from the Second-Floor Landing" will premiere this Sunday night, as faculty and staff vote on which senior boy has the most adorable backside. CJHS boys who do not wish to participate in this contest should be advised to change for gym in the locker rooms as the girls do, and not on the second-floor landing right under the security camera. And for all those couples who thought their secret rendezvous was truly a secret... smile! You're on Candid Camera!
Editorial Change CJHS apologizes for the decline in quality of the CJHS E-News ever since Rosh Chodesh Adar due to the sudden and mysterious absence of its regular editor, Mrs. Eliaser. It has recently come to the attention of the CJHS administration that Jonathan Tupper and Isaac Johnston have been occupying the office of the E-News Editor while the real editor has been hiding from an unstoppable stream of panicked physics students. The administration apologizes for the misappropriation of authority; Mrs. Eliaser has been located hiding behind the poster gemach in Room 314, and E-News will return to its
regularly scheduled content next week. Mrs. Eliaser denies ever having been The Editor of the CJHS E-News, as does Mr. Richard Tupper, who has been denying it for years. Current suspicion rests on Mr. Robert Johnston, who says, "It's totally me, and I expect sufficient remuneration for my skilled services."
Sponsored Breakfast According to the senior spiel, morning prayers have been replaced with, "Dear God, please let there be bagels this morning. Amen." Thank you to Benjy Salzman for answering our prayers and sponsoring breakfast.
Shabbat Shalom
shalom!
Pesach goodies have been on sale at Walgreen's since Valentine's Day, so don't let that put you off. Next thing you know, Pesach will come right after Chanukah! Candlelighting will be at 5:23 p.m. Shabbat
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Chicagoland Jewish High School | 1095 Lake Cook Road | Deerfield | IL | 60015