MIKE

DON’T BE AFRAID TO SHOW OFF.

Don’t be afraid to show off.

If wise I would have won.

Race yourself compete with no one

Take a moment to look at life

Move correctly you won't be seen

Mom, since you asked this is why I'm so angry.

Because of my past trauma.

Because of my father.

Because I made bad choices.

Because I was left in the dark too long.

Because I almost died plenty of times.

Because I'm not where I wanna be right now.

BecauseI haven't seen life.

Because I don't know myself yet.

Because I can't provide for you right now.

I can't listen to people who weren't there with me.

I can’t steal, it's not me anymore.

I can’t have patience.

I can’t listen.

I can’t break my form.

I can’t jeopardize my life.

Homeland

I feel like my homeland is a peaceful/violent city where you can have fun, love, live, laugh and learn but you have to remember what happens in Chicago.

Misunderstood

I feel misunderstood almost everyday, I just feel like no one really understands me and it causes me to prevail more.

PNEVER STAND DOWN. SPEAK UP ALWAYS.

Able to adapt to any situation.

Be your own version of you.

You need me, I need you.

Being a father is first priority.

Just stay cool, you will succeed

You show respect, you earn respect.

Teach the young respect the old.

The best advice applies to you.

Stay away from all negative things.

Get the table, we all eat.

Being alone doesn't mean you ' re alone.

Being smart leads to good things

To the world, since you asked I'll tell you why I’m so angry.

Because I lost a big brother that wasn't my blood.

Because I lost two big brothers to gun violence.

Because I lost my grandfather.

Because I lost my favorite auntie.

Because I lost my grandmother to Covid.

Because I lost my uncle to Covid.

Because I can't seem to have any luck in this world.

Mom Since you asked, I’ll tell you why I’m so happy

Because I have two beautiful kids.

Because I’m getting my life on track.

Because I want you to be proud of me.

Because I'm writing a book to express my feelings.

Because I feel like God has something great planned for me.

Because I lost a lot but I'm going to make the most out of it.

Because I'm starting to stay away from negativity.

Because you gave me life.

People lying to me.

Explaining myself to someone.

Not having my kids in my life.

Not challenging myself.

Someone else taking care of me.

Telling me you gone do something and never do it.

Chances.

Having another baby mother.

Living alone.

Someone not opening the door.

Advice.

Having more children.

Trying to reach my goals.

Taking care of my kids.

Dear Chicago,

Ain't you tired of the gun smoke? Got kids with no hope. All they learn is to smoke and sell dope.

Who gone look out for them if you ’ re on the run, can't move without a gun, is that fun or are you dumb?

Here’s a lesson to learn If you don't stop, you gone be six feet under or sharing a bed with your cell mate with yours right under that should make you wonder.

We are too busy chasing dumb shit All they want is clout. I think sometimes you should listen and watch your mouth. Maybe your brain would sprout, give you something else to think about. Because if I hear “ on that car ” one more time, I’ma blow up like a blimp, and my daddy was a pimp, used to walk with a limp. He exposed me to that life, even sat in my face and lit a crack pipe. Aw… this is life. I knew that wasn't right, then I saw the light, gotta pay close attention and see cause it's still gun smoke. No matter how life goes, it's like we are all hanging from a rope, just waiting for the next one to go. I hate my city, but I love it so bad. It might be sad. All them good times we had but it makes me mad. I lost my brothers and friends. When will it end? You're probably killing your kin just look at your skin. We need to make amends because you ain't gonna get a chance to do it again.

It’s been six years without you, lil bro. The last time I saw you we were outside late drinking and kicking it on the block. You walked up to me and asked me if you could have the last of my liquor. I told you no and you walked off on me with an attitude and said “Fuck you, bro.” I looked at you and said, “Fuck you too.” I didn't think nothing of it because we always had our little altercations like that. One thing I didn't know was that it would be my last time speaking to you, and I feel bad knowing that those were our last words to each other. I feel like I lost a forever connection with you because of that.

Me, I have no more tears. I’ve never been an emotional person at all. It takes a lot to get to me, but when I became used to seeing death, all my tears went away. It was death after death and I really thought I was next. So I started to feel ready for it to happen to me. I was starting to not feel at all for anybody, because I figured “How can I stay close to somebody knowing that I may lose them soon?” I had to see the light. It opened up my eyes because I could have been a whole lot worse than what I am. Now that my life is changing in a good way, I can just feel the happy tears coming my way, and I can't wait to cry for that.

I remember a specific time when I felt judged was when I was trying to hold some good news away from my family. I didn't want them to know about it until I fully knew it would be solidified. It made them feel some type of way, because they felt like that was news I shouldn't have kept from them because they always want to know about the good changes that I'm making in my life. This made me realize that next time I should be more open to sharing good news with them. But, to be honest, I was just a little nervous and not sure what they would think about it.

As a little black kid growing up in this world, a good thing to remember is when somebody is trying to guide you in the right direction, please try to understand that in that moment, whether you listen or not. It will have a big impact on your future.

People tried to tell me all the time that I was a smart kid. Some people even believed I could be something special in this world, but what did I do? I didn't listen at all. I chose to hang with my friends and run the streets. Don't get me wrong, I loved hanging with my friends, and we always had fun together. You can never get those times back. As we got older, things became more serious. Now when you get older you ’ re supposed to be more responsible, and it took me a long time to understand that because we were still stuck in doing childish things.

Some people are going to tell you that you need to stop hanging around your friends and start thinking about your future. It may seem like that person is always riding your back and you might not want to hear it at that moment, but it’s true. The older you get, making bad decisions tends to have bigger consequences, and you have to be ready for it.

I started looking at life differently once I lost a close friend to gun violence. He was like a big brother to me and he didn't deserve to die. Now this either goes two ways. You’re gonna want revenge, but what's that gonna prove? So I chose not to do something that would jeopardize my life as well as the people’s lives around me.

So when I started to remember all the voices in my head of people telling me what this type of life can possibly lead to, it clicked but I didn't stop I just slowed down.

The only thing that changed was me making my own decisions and not letting people influence me to do things I didn't wanna do. You're going to spend a lot of time trying to figure things out in this life. The best thing to do is start as young as you can. It won't be as hard if you don't wait too long. You can still have fun but make sure you ’ re doing something positive towards your future, and stay away from all the negative things life has to offer.

Just know when someone is sending you positive energy, just take it in act on it and pass it on to somebody else. I like to believe in sending positive energy into the future, because what you put into life is what you will get back out of it. Make it easy for yourself so you don’t have to learn the hard way.

Another thing that changed me was having my first child. It let me know I really have to change so my kids won't have to go through some of the things that I did. All I want to do is provide for them and protect them, because I believe that family is the most important thing in life. Trust me when I say this, times will get hard and life will test you to see how strong you really are. This is the part I’m at in my life. I'm being strong right now and I have faith that things will get better for me. I feel it's only right to pass it on to others so that you know that you ' re not alone and people go through some of the same things. We are always stronger together. Thank you for listening.

Sad to say but people get killed everyday Where I'm from it became normal for people to joke about it. I’ve never once in my life played with something like that. A lot of bad things happened to people who really didn’t deserve it, so that's why it's not funny to me. I’ve lost two brothers to the street life. Only thing on my mind was revenge. I wanted whoever did that to my brothers to get the same treatment, but I'm really the type of person who thinks before I make a bad decision. I sit back and look at all the things that took place after someone has been killed. I'm looking for whoever else feels the same way I feel. I can see all the fake love around and people telling you that it’s gonna be okay or letting me know “If you need anything, I got you. ” I really had no one to talk to about these things in fear of them telling someone else. The streets don’t love nobody and the sooner people know, the sooner it can get better. It’s definitely going to take some time and a lot of hard work.

Revenge these days is a good feeling to some people. They even get a rush from it. I don’t have one hating bone in my body for anyone who’s never done anything to me. I knew that life wasn't for me because when someone dies, I feel sad and worried for the person and their family. It never really made me want to go and kill someone. I just figured that they would get what they deserve. I can't say that I’ve never had those kinds of thoughts, but I've lost so much I learned not to put my energy into those types of things. It's sad knowing you can't even walk to your car without being nervous. You can't even take your kids to the park you once played in. Revenge is the last thing on my mind. I wanna rise above all of this and try to help make a change in my community. I know I'm not out looking for revenge and revenge shouldn't be looking for me.

A: Always keep your head in the right direction.

B: Be mindful not to waste time.

C: Complete all things in life.

D: Don't ever quit.

E: Eat and stay healthy.

F: Feel good to change.

G: Get on the right track.

H: Have the strength to get something done daily.

I: Illuminate all negative energy.

J: Joke to make someone laugh.

K: Kill them with kindness.

L: Losing doesn't mean you ’ re lost.

M: Meet new people.

N: Never let them see you sweat.

O: Only think positive.

P: Predict your future.

Q: Question anything you don't understand.

R: Read to gain more knowledge.

S: Stay strong even when you ’ re down.

T: Tears only last a little while.

U: Utilize all resources given to you.

V: Volunteer sometimes.

W: Wake up and be happy.

X: X-ray your mind and see your thoughts.

Y: You know what you have to do.

Z: Zoom in on life to get a clearer picture.