6 minute read
A Community for Life
A COMMUNITY FOR LIFE
by Bekah Wright
The Class of 1965 had an evolution when planning for its 55th reunion in 2020. COVID struck, along with a realization. “Holy crap, we’re not going to be able to have an in-person reunion,” Tony Smith, a member of the reunion committee, recalls thinking. The idea of using Zoom to organize the group was floated. Smith says, “We didn’t know how to use Zoom, but figured we better learn fast.”
The medium, he says, proved to be “intimate and authentic.” “It was a way of staying in contact with people you knew and have loved over the past 50 years,” Smith says. The virtual gathering opened some alumni worlds. “I’ve had multiple sclerosis for the last 39 years and been in a wheelchair for the last 29,” Peter Schaeffer says. “So, the pandemic put everybody else on my turf as a shut-in.” For all the alumni, they had discovered what they refer to as “a silver lining in a cloud of COVID.”
A core group got things started. Schaeffer, a former member of Choate’s Board of Trustees and the self-proclaimed Reunion Chairman for Life, who was already adept at “herding classmates like kittens,” became the organizer of the regular Zooms. Schaeffer’s efforts would earn him the nickname of Yoda. “He’s the guru who keeps us together and focused on every call,” John Callan explains. “His spirit is so solid and devoted.” Joining him was Callan, president of the Class of ’65; Smith; and Tom Courage, “The Scribe” and person who most often takes meeting minutes.
Conversations took on a momentum of their own, going beyond mere plans for rescheduling the reunion and Choate reminiscing. Rob Simpson and Tom Courage surveyed the class to learn more about their lives and what gives them purpose. As Simpson put it, “Fundamentally, purpose keeps people alive.”
Pretty soon, of the living members of the class, 70 joined in on what became weekly Zooms, with an average of 20 classmates at each session. Topics ranged from family updates, the loss of spouses, and life transitions like retirement to the best electric vehicle to purchase and great places to travel.
These meetings, first called Peter Schaeffer’s Relentless Reunion, gained the moniker Dew Drop Inn.
EXCHANGING WISDOM
Desiring to further their connection, the group struck on the idea of holding take-offs on TED Talks. “A graduate, or anyone affiliated with Choate, can talk on a subject for which they have a passion and experience,” Smith explains. The hour-long sessions include a 30-minute presentation, followed by a Q&A.
In January 2021, Bob Santulli, who was a director of geriatric psychiatry at Dartmouth-Hitchcock Medical Center and is currently an honorary associate professor at Dartmouth College’s Department of Psychological and Brain Sciences, kicked off the series with his presentation on “’65s Nearing 75: Preserving Memory as We Age.” Cognitive changes are inevitable, he says, though dementia is relatively uncommon. Santulli suggests a step the Class of ’65 has already taken: “People who have the highest degree of social connectedness have the slowest rate of memory decline. Keeping engaged with others is hugely important.”
A common history comes into play with some of these talks. And they do not shy away from difficult topics. “How do you get out of Vietnam?”
Allen Fletcher begins a talk about his stint in the Peace Corps. “I’ve come to believe that is the big unspoken question in our generation, which we don’t like to talk about because there’s some sort of shame involved.” Fletcher says a Peace Corps opportunity in Senegal was his answer to this question. He then shares photos and a talk about the indelible memories of the service experience.
Brittain McJunkin, a gastroenterologist in Charleston, W.Va., and a professor of medicine at WVU Health Sciences Center, brings his passion for photography to the group. “Hopefully, you’ll be inspired to appreciate photography in regard to fine art and fine art as a means to social relevance,” he says. The talk follows the history of photography and branches into techniques and tips, like making the most of the magic hour.
More than a dozen of these talks have been presented thus far. Topics covered range from the opioid crisis and zero-carbon energy to peace in Ukraine and JFK at Choate. Smith says, “What we’re doing has palpable physical consequences. Research about aging says people who participate, especially in relationships, outlive everybody else.”
Ever looking to broaden their experiences, the Class of ’65 is currently kicking off a book and film discussion series.
As Simpson put it, “Fundamentally, purpose keeps people alive.”
A VERY PERSONAL WAY OF GIVING BACK TO CHOATE
For more than 50 years, the William E. Ireland ’65 Memorial Scholarship has been a passion project for the Class of ’65, a way to honor a friend and classmate who passed away soon after graduation. “Will was beloved at Choate,” Callan, his roommate and close friend, says. “He died in a tragic car accident in his early 20s.”
The scholarship was established in 1971 by the Ireland family and the Class of 1965. Originally the scholarship provided tuition assistance for boys who attended St. Andrew’s Camp, a two-week experience for inner-city boys whose families could not afford to send them to summer camp. Ireland and many of his friends and classmates worked at St. Andrew’s in the summer and so this was a fitting tribute to his memory. While St. Andrew’s camp is now defunct, the Ireland Scholarship continues to provide important financial aid to students of color.
“At a time when the pandemic was forcing isolation and many were feeling hopelessness and despair, the Class of ’65 took action,” says Director of Alumni Relations Andrea Solomon. In the wake of the death of George Floyd and the rise of Black Lives Matter, the Class of 1965 rallied around the Ireland Scholarship as a meaningful way to give back to Choate and especially to support students of color. They believe deeply in the power of a Choate education to change the trajectory of one’s life. Since 2020, the Class of ’65, along with the Ireland family, have reinvigorated the fund, more than doubling the original gift, and the Class welcomes fellow alumni who wish to join them in contributing to the scholarship.
“This wonderful continuation of Will Ireland’s legacy is yet another way that the Class of ’65 has demonstrated their unique and lasting bonds,” says Solomon.
BUILDING COMMUNITY
What does the Class of ’65 hope the wider Choate community takes away from their experience? “That these guys are doing something pretty cool,” Smith says. “Something any Choate class can replicate.” For those intimidated by the thought of kicking off such a program, Dew Drop Inn members are ready to mentor.
The group has embraced the many benefits they have garnered from coming together. Courage says, “Our meetings have built and strengthened friendships, enhanced lives in various ways, and engendered good feelings about Choate.”
Schaeffer, aka Yoda, says of organizing the Zoom calls, “It’s never been a labor; it’s just been darn fun. When the Dew Drop Inn became something more than an occasional meeting, I said, ‘I’ll be like a Motel Six and leave the light on for you.’”
