Old Event Report

Old Events Report

Chris Johnson

This report appeared in the August 2015 issue of TUG. Nothing special about it, but it seemed fairly typical, especially the weather, and should give you a nice warm familiar feeling.

I am due to set out on a 2500 mile bike trip to Scandinavia in a week, so I had intended getting this report in early. There may be no hurry. Editor Colin sent round an email last night to say that he had precisely nothing for TUG, and even if the usual suspects submitted their pieces there would still not be enough for an issue. Since he was off on holiday (again?) next week, unless there was a massive influx of contributions in the next two days TUG would not be appearing until September! I duly dusted off an old, relatively harmless, article which was published in TUG twelve years ago and sent it off to him, and I suppose I now have to create an outstanding report for him as well. No pressure.

There was a consistent theme for all the rides during this period; rain. The first of them was Ian Taylor's Richard Replacement Ride to Swaffham on 31st May. Richard was off gallivanting in France at the time. We had eight riders and, with Paula tailing, set off for a first coffee stop at Lakeside near Stowmarket. I have a vague memory of parking the bikes at a pub not far off in order to have more stable ground for them since it was, of course, raining. Fortunately they had an awning outside so we could avoid the scourge of putting our helmets back on with wet hair; something which normally defeats even the best of anti-mist sprays and pinlock inserts. We reached Swaffham without incident and there had lunch at Bridget's, an establishment which had only been open for three weeks. We were crammed into a yard at the back. It is true that there were only eight of us but it was a very small yard. The tables had umbrellas and, providing you kept tucked in over the table and avoided any expansive gestures, you stayed relatively dry. It was merely damp on the way back. I think Andy must have done something truly terrible in a previous incarnation because the poor guy seems to get more than his share of bad luck.

On this run it was a puncture. It took a while to locate it, but he was then inundated with offers from all who had their own favourite repair outfits with them. Unaccountably passing over my clearly superior Tyre Plugger, he chose something with a name like 'Silly String'. It involved driving a bradawl deep into the tyre, something which on a KTM would result in an impossibleto-fix hole in the spoke sealing belt, and left me feeling quite faint. However the questionable technology did seem to fix the puncture and Andy reported that there was no loss of pressure during the rest of the journey. Various people peeled off at various points as we got closer to Chelmsford, but the official distance of 190 miles for the run was about right.

I was just too busy to be able to attend the AGT on 7th June, so the next social ride for me was Richard's run to Melton Mowbray on 28th June. This was the destination which had been postponed from the previous month because it was a long run which really needed dry weather. I was looking forward to this because it was a new destination which promised new roads. Seventeen bikes started, including Richard's day-old BMW S1000XR and Spider's new Versys which, as we waited to set out, was having its tank decorated with bits of colour-clash insulating tape because the connections for the heated grips were scratching it at full lock. By the coffee stop at St Neots we were pretty soaked, and Richard checked to see if we wanted to continue. Five decided to call it a day but the remainder felt that they were not going to get any wetter. This resolute attitude was rewarded by the rain abating as we rode interesting new roads to Melton Mowbray. Lunch there was at a Wetherspoons, and I resisted the temptation to have pie and contented myself with a simple Sunday roast. The sun came out with a vengeance for the journey back and the stop at St Neots contrasted markedly with the journey out. We were sprawled out in the open working on our tans whereas in the

morning we had been huddled under awnings. I left at Royston to get a shorter journey home, but the total distance must have been close to 250 miles. Geoff acted as back marker and, since he had been unable to get a replacement yellow helmet in time for his recent trip to France, being left as a marker meant you were back to counting bikes and anxiously trying to spot him when the number got critical.

A week later on 7th July we had another of Richard's rides; this time to another new destination at Harleston, midway between Bury St Edmunds and Great Yarmouth. This was closer and less radical than Melton. but still a welcome addition to Richard's repertoire. It was actually two rides in one. At Chelmsford initially we had 20 bikes, but the band of very heavy rain which was sweeping northwards reached there before we started, and the ride kept pace with it to give everyone the benefit of a constant soaking. Some gave up at the start and some a little past Finchingfield. One effect of this was that bike-counting when left as marker went badly wrong, and on one occasion I was totally surprised when Geoff 'suddenly' appeared and waited patiently behind me. After the coffee stop at Wally's in Acton only six stout fellows (or masochistic nutters) chose to continue. The moral to be drawn from this is that you should always bring your rain gear with you. I took over as back marker, but with such a small tight group it was largely a formality. We proceeded to Harleston at a pace appropriate to the miserable conditions, but experienced no significant delays until entering the town, where the parade for a rally of female tractor drivers brought us to a standstill. At the designated cafe parking had been reserved for us in the yard. Since the small yard was on a slope and surfaced with a deep layer of very wet gravel getting the bikes in and parked securely was a bit of a challenge. I hate to think how it would have been if the group had stayed at twenty bikes. In the cafe we had a long table in the window reserved for us. It was a clean little cafe, although rather expensive, but it must have been even cleaner after we departed, since under our table we left a small lake which would have needed a lot of mopping up. Everyone joined in to help each other get the bikes back out of the gravel pit.

Part two of the ride started early into the journey back, because the rain had passed over and the roads dried out very quickly in the sun, allowing a much better pace. By the time we were south of Sudbury it was a very fine day indeed, and some favourite twisty bits could be ridden to get some use out of the edges of the tyres. It was great fun, and the nutters definitely had the best of the day. Total distance covered was 186 miles, and we were very grateful to Richard for keeping the faith and persisting with the ride after Acton.

I had an 80th birthday party to attend on 12th June (not my own - I still have a few years to go before that) so I could not attend the AGT. Apparently very few people turned up, so I doubt if there was much of a ride afterwards. That brings us up to date, and this report can be submitted, leaving me time to consider one of life's great dilemmas. Do I have enough meat left on the front tyre for 2,500 miles, or should I get it changed early before I set out? The tyre shop think it should be changed, but they would, wouldn't they?

Wind forward one month. Colin did not have enough material for TUG in August, and a three-line whip has now appeared requiring me to pad out the previous submission for publication in September. This I shall dutifully try to do. I didget the tyre changed. After all the faldediddle with the rear I was a bit nervous, but the sealing belt was not disturbed and neither tyre lost any pressure in 2,500 miles. The trip itself was unremarkable; I just let the Satnav guide me on major roads, since the purpose of the visit was to help my son build his new veranda in Linkoping, a couple of hundred kilometres short of Stockholm, and

not to ride any interesting roads. I took the bike because I wanted to cross the Oresund bridge between Copenhagen and Malmo. I had thought that I would be crossing in Denmark by the Rodby ferry, but the Satnav took me up through Odense and across the Storebaelt bridge, which was an even better one so the journey gave me two bridges for the price of .. two bridges (they have hefty tolls). The journey back was in appalling weather which included hailstorms and flooded motorways. Although Calais was headline news at the time, and I was delayed on the outward journey because striking port workers were making bonfires of old tyres on the main roads, it was very quiet on my return. Then I hit Operation Stack and the trip up from Folkestone took over three hours. I have become a born-again Satnav lover, and have asked mine to marry me. My wife Mary likes them too so she is OK with this.

I was back in time for Richard's third 'new destination' run of the year on 2nd August. This was to Bourne in Lincolnshire, a historic market town between Peterborough and Grantham. It would be good to give the sides of the tyres a bit of exercise again, and being able to mount and dismount the bike without having to struggle over the panniers would be a relief (by the end of the trip to Sweden I had lost all shame, and used to reach back to drag my leg over them in a comical series of hops and jerks. The combination of advancing age and short legs is a pitiful thing). The weather was superb and we set out with sixteen bikes. Geoff 'Yellow Peril' Preston acted as back marker. The roads up to the first stop at Chatteris were reasonably familiar. A few made that into a destination and, after sampling the renowned cuisine of the Green Welly, made their own way back. The remainder forged on into territory unknown. Thanks to a major diversion around a closed bridge I think a lot of it was unknown to Richard too! We arrived in Bourne, struggled a bit to find parking, and then piled into Cafe 35 for lunch. It was a pleasant place with a menu varying from the familiar to the exotic. Resisting the temptation to try Lincolnshire specialities such as potatoes, sausage and, because of the famous Lincolnshire Poacher, possibly pheasant. I

settled on a chicken and sweet chilli salad. Very good. On the return journey even the diversions had diversions, the route got long and complicated and by the time we had belatedly reached the tea stop at Walkers we had covered 195 miles. The group had managed to hold together despite having to loop-the-loop on occasions. I broke off there to be able to take the boring, but familiar, A11/M11 route home and arrive back within a couple of hours of the promised time.

I went on, yet another, Bikesafe course on 6th August. Lewisham were giving out vouchers for them and I am a sucker for a freebie. The riding was good, but they are no longer allowed to do any 'teaching' so we got not even the rudiments of roadcraft. The goody bag we got pushed the IAM more strongly than previously, and I suspect they may have something to do with the absence of any formal training, about which the speakers were apologetic. A consequence of this is that when the AGT rolled around on 9th August I did not attend. I felt that, very temporarily, I had had my fill of riding.

Member Profile

Andy Smith

When and why did you develop an interest in riding a motorcycle?

Living in rural Northamptonshire bikes meant freedom as we had no public transport. Living close to Silverstone British GP got me hooked, we had BSA Banthams BSA C15 an old Greaves trials bike on the fields and disused Railway lines

How old were you when you first rode a bike?

Around 15 or 16 I bought a Puch 2 gear Moped I saved up for working in the summer holidays, with the baffels out and air cleaner of it did 50 mph.

First proper bike was a Honda CB160 first bike with an electric starter. I had to bet a car for work at 19 but rode with my mates for years after. Bought a Honda CB 125 TWIN in 1986 which I kept fir 20 years, passed my test and bought a Kawasaki er6 F followed a year later with a Z1000 10 years later bought YAMAHA MT10 but Arthritis stopped me riding that so I bought a new KTM SAS 1290.

Of the bikes you've ever owned which was your favourite if you had one?

I loved my Z1000 it suited me I was at home on her and was so reliable.

First trip to Europe with my old school friends to Austria I was wringing her neck to keep up and bought the MT10 and did three more trips on that but the riding position did my knee in. I really love the KTM simply the best bike I have ever owned its fast comfortable handles like a dream and the brakes are good

If you were given the opportunity to own any bike on the market which would it be?

I would like modern Norton Commando.

What is your favourite motorcycle gadget?

I know my KTM is loaded with kit but I did not buy it for that but the riding position. I like my Sena 20s Evo coms system so I can play my music whilst riding. I think ABS has saved my arse a few times down the years.

Where is your prefered place to ride in the UK?

I like country roads North Essex into Suffolk, Cotswolds are great, so is Northamptonshire

And Abroad?

The Pyrenees were fantastic the Tarn Valley in France Voges Mountains, B500 in Germany

If you were offered the opportunity to go on an extended bike tour, who family members aside who would you choose as a riding companion?

My mate Brian is the best all round rider I know, he's just bought an Aprilla RSV4 for his 60 th birthday. Trying to keep up with that on the KTM will be

very interesting.

How would you describe to a non-rider the attraction of riding a bike as opposed to driving a car?

Biking to me is the ultimate stress relief, on smaller bikes I would ride like a tit as hard and fast as I could until I scared myself, it makes you feel alive, life is too safe generally these days. With bigger bikes it is the sense of sheer freedom, you the bike the road. Its a massive test of skill too

KTM SAS 1290