
21 minute read
The untold story: A father’s influence
THE UNTOLD story A father’s influence on his son’s non-profit
Vincent Kituku, founder of Caring Hearts and Hands of Hope, is shown with his parents in Kenya. His mother is Margarita Kasiva Kituku, and his father is Johnson Kituku. The senior Kituku passed away earlier this year. (Courtesy photo) By Vincent Kituku
My father, Johnson Kituku, was forced to drop out of school in second grade after his mother died so that he could take care of his two young siblings, a brother and sister. He later joined Kings African Rifles (KAR) when Kenya was still colonized by the British. He left the military soon after the country became independent in 1963.
We lived in a two-bedroom mud structure (one bedroom for my parents and one for my two sisters) that had a living space as well as a cooking place. That living space sheltered goats and chickens at night. It was also where the bed of us five boys was. I recall many nights when my parents would let mentally ill people come spend nights with us, especially when it was raining. We also shared whatever little we had for dinner with them.
I was in class six when I learned that one of my classmates was orphaned. He slept anywhere he could find. I brought him to my parents and told them about his vulnerability. My dad and mom took that boy as their own son. They not only fed and clothed him but also paid his tuition until he graduated from high school and joined the army.
My father believed in the power of education more than any other person that I have ever met. Space and time limit what I can write about the most intelligent second grade dropout that I have ever known. He encouraged us with both rewards and spanking. He spanked me for being in position six in a class of 120 pupils. When he sensed that I might wait for some time before starting a Ph.D. program after I graduated with a master’s degree, he wrote me a six-page letter on the importance of obtaining a doctorate degree. One of his life’s highlights was my involvement in not only educating my own family members (and my in-law’s families) but also other vulnerable children. On January 24, 2013 at a gathering with guardians and the students we were sponsoring, my dad said, “My son is doing what God created him to do.” Then he shared the story of my youth. How I brought an orphaned boy home for him to be helped. That statement was so empowering that three months later, I started working full time on this mission, even without pay. My dad died on May 16. I had gone to Kenya for our mission’s work without knowledge of his terminal illness. In God’s plans there are no coincidences. I was able to organize and coordinate a befitting farewell service that was attended by more than 2,000 people. His last public appearance was in July 2021 when he blessed our boys’ school and had lunch in the dormitory that is named in his honor. Caring Hearts and Hands of Hope is today transforming lives because a caring second grade dropout valued education. The impact of his passion and kindness could not have been foretold, just as the generosity of our supporters will ripple throughout time. n To learn more about Caring Hearts and Hands of Hope and how you can help, visit www.caringheartsandhandsofhope.org or contact me at vincent@kituku.com.
Caring Hearts and Hands of Hope
2011 TRANSFORMING LIVES
2017


Pictured in 2011 and 2017: Dominic (who is blind), Pauline, Patrick and Naomi were living in poverty without hope, but now three are teachers and one is an electrical technician. They pay-it-forward to others in need.
When you contribute to Caring Hearts & Hands of Hope
• Orphans & Vulnerable Children’s’ lives are transformed • They are saved from child labor, forced marriage, drugs, abuse or life of crime • Provide education, nutritious food & safe living conditions EDUCATION IS THEIR LIFELINE!
What can we provide with your generous donation?
• $25 for hygienic supplies keeping a girl in class all year long
• $725 ($1.99/day) for annual high school tuition and expenses including boarding, meals, uniform and educational expenses
• $1,000 ($2.74/day) for annual university tuition and expenses


And he took the children in his arms, placed his hands on them and blessed them. ~Mark 10:16 CHHH operates separate two separate Christian boarding schools for boys & girls in Machakos, Kenya.
Would you please consider helping us to transform more young peoples’ lives?
501-C3 Non-Profit
BIBLICALLY Responsible Investing Balance: 3 ways to handle your money well
By Ryan De Amicis
“Get me a banana, some Super Glue, and a rod” Andrey persisted. “I’ll show you how he’s doing it.”
Let me take a step back. The Boise Christian Faith Center worship team and I made our trek to Santa Cruz, Calif. Our plan? To watch our favorite worship team, Maverick City Music, perform in a nearby city. On our day off, we ventured to downtown Santa Cruz for breakfast and stumbled across something I’ve never seen before. There was a man staring straight up to heaven with concentration so thick you could cut it with a knife. Managing to balance a banana, by simply using the tip of his nose to hold up this awkwardly shaped fruit, this gentleman had finesse I could only dream of.
In life, balance is helpful. It allows us to ride bikes and go for walks with loved ones. It provides safety as we walk up flights of stairs. Balance is also necessary for our bodies to run properly. In fact, inhaling too much oxygen causes an imbalance in our bodies and leads to increased anxiety levels. Balance is important in all areas of our lives, including how we spend our money. See what I did there?
There are three main things we can do with each dollar earned, and I recommend budgeting them in this order: Giving, Saving, and Spending.
Giving. Breaking the power of money. By giving first, we are training our mind to understand we are contributors over consumers. This facilitates the dying of our flesh. We are losing our life, and in turn finding it. We are trading a rat race and monotony for significance and meaning. We experience freedom as we partner with Heaven by following the words of Paul in Acts 20:35: “In everything I did, I showed you that by this kind of hard work we must help the weak, remembering the words the Lord Jesus himself said: ‘It is more blessed to give than to receive.’”
Saving. Valuing our future. By saving second, we place value on our future. We are learning discipline as we construct a healthy image of consumption. We place significance on the visions and dreams God has put in our heart, saving little by little. As Proverbs 13:11 says, “Wealth gained hastily will dwindle, but whoever gathers little by little will increase it.”
Spending. Appreciating our present. Enjoying our money is a priority, and after giving and saving, this is where it falls. For some of us, this is our strength and for others (like me)
this is our weakness. Regardless, it’s important to intentionally set aside money to spend on ourselves. We are reinforcing our value and worth. Solomon writes in Ecclesiastes 5:19, “Moreover, when God gives someone wealth and possessions, and the ability to enjoy them, to accept their lot and be happy in their toil – this is a gift of God.” I believe putting this as the last of three priorities puts wealth in perspective, allowing us to recognize we are wealthy regardless of how much money we have. Giving, Saving, and Spending. For us to work on having a healthy relationship with Ryan De Amicis money, we need to practice all three. Like the man balancing a banana, each season demands a shift in weight from one side to the other. This contradicts our human nature to look for a quick fix. You know, the job that finally pays enough. The investment strategy that provides for all of our needs and meets our expectations. The perfect house. The perfect spouse (come on, now I’m preaching). Our human nature is constantly looking for external factors to be the solution. Scripture instructs us in Matthew 7:13 to, “Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it.” May I pose the gate is narrow and the road is even narrower. On this road, balance is required. Attentiveness is demanded. It would be nice for the gate leading to human flourishing to be wide and the road wider. The work required to enter the narrow gate is intimidating. Yet, it’s an invitation. Not for performance, but to trust. Whether you are balancing a banana or a checkbook, it’s vital those tasks earn our attention and, like the man balancing the banana, our eyes remain upward. n Ryan De Amicis is an investment advisor with Christian Wealth Management in Boise, providing biblically responsible investment advice to Christians. For more information, visit investforthegloryofgod.com or contact him at ryan@christianwm.com or (408) 758-6413. Investment advisory services provided by Creative Financial Designs, Inc. Securities are offered through CFD Investments, Inc., Member FINRA & SIPC. 2704 South Goyer Road, Kokomo, IN 46902, 795-453-9600. Christian Wealth Management, LLC is not affiliated with CFD Investments, Inc. or Creative Financial Designs, Inc.


Hope, Inspiration & a New Perspective Just
$13.00 A year
Get Christian Living Magazine delivered to your mailbox!
Two Ways to Subscribe:
Online: ChristianLivingMag.com under “Shop” Tab - or - Mail: Name, Info & Payment Christian Living Magazine PO Box 867, Meridian, ID 83680
No one walks alone.
www.pathpreg.org
WEDNESDAY’S Child Adrian, 12, loves riding the school bus
The following information is provided by Wednesday’s Child, an organization that helps Idaho foster children find permanent homes.
Lovable and endearing are the first impressions you will have about Adrian after spending just a short amount of time with this sweet, funny boy. Watching Adrian’s joyful excitement over even the smallest things in life and simply being in the presence of his contagious smiles and laughter will brighten anyone’s day.
Adrian has a cognitive disability that requires his caregivers to assist him in meeting most of his daily needs. He loves parks and going on long walks around the neighborhood and is a curious boy who wants to figure out how everything around him works. He attends school full time and especially loves riding the school bus.
Adrian is good with animals and likes to pet the dogs in his foster home. Some of his other favorite things include watching educational shows with patterns and rhymes and playing in the water. He’s a great eater and is especially fond of popcorn when it’s snack time. Adrian is primarily non-verbal but is making progress with his speech. Even though he cannot always easily communicate his needs, he continues to tackle life with a great disposition, wonder and enthusiasm.
Adrian’s team would ideally love to find an adoptive family for him in the Treasure Valley area but is open to inquiries outside of the area as well in an effort to find the perfect fit for him. If you believe that you have what Adrian needs and deserves in his Forever Family, inquire today to learn more about this one-of-a-kind boy. (See information below.) n

Adrian
For more information on the Idaho Wednesday’s Child Program, visit www. idahowednesdayschild.org, or contact Recruitment Coordinator Shawn White at swhite52@ewu.edu or cell 208-4888989 if you have specific questions.



AGENCY In busine since 1936
•Franklin Village Subdivision
Franklin Blvd. and Cherry Ln. in Nampa Phase Nine - Move-in ready Homes by September
New Homes Available!
•Heron Ridge Subdivision
Greenhurst and Middleton Rd. in Nampa 208-209-2313
Mission Statement:
To honor God and serve our community by treating our clients with respect, honesty and integrity; using the resources with which God has blessed us in pursuit of their best interests. 203 11th Ave. S. • Nampa, ID • 208-466-7821 www.BrandtAgency.com
“I GET TO!”® Go back to grow forward
By Joan Endicott
“Can you please come talk to my friend?” The anxious young lady pleaded as she pointed to the back corner of the conference room where a distraught grey-haired woman sat bent over, rocking back and forth. This faithful friend had waited to be last in line to talk to me, letting others go ahead of her so she could be last. By now the conference room was almost empty. “We know you’re probably exhausted…It’s just... she’s having such a hard time trying to process some things that came up from her past.”
Since I shared some of the challenges from my childhood in the retreat’s prior session, predictably, it brought up heartaches for some attendees—especially those with unresolved traumas.
For “Nancy” it was a lifetime of hurt that she had never even spoken of, much less had someone to help her navigate. As I sat down and put my hand on her shoulder, slowly and shyly she looked up at me with tear-stained face. Then, looking at her supportive friend, mouthed thank you.
Her voice timid and trembling, she began, “Ohhh, Joan, I’ve never spoken of this to anyone before. I can’t… I can’t… believe I’m saying anything now. I’m 67 years old and… I guess I just feel I must talk to someone. The shame has eaten away at me every day. My husband doesn’t even know—no one does!”
Nancy then shared summations of abuse she suffered as a child—violent and sexual. Periodically she would take a deep breath, sigh, look around and ask rhetorical questions such as: “Why wasn’t I enough to be loved?” “I tried but I didn’t know how to be a better girl—why not?” “So it was my fault—that’s what he always told me?!” “Why didn’t I just run away—but where would I go?” “What was so wrong with me that he did such horrible things?” and “Will I ever be enough?”
It was heartbreaking enough to hear about Nancy’s years of abuse, but having never received help, she spent subsequent years flailing all alone in the suffocating quicksand of shame. I prayed I could at least be a lifeline to help her get started on a healing path.
Nancy hadn’t said who her abuser was, nor did I ask. I listened, offered compassion, expressed my sorrow with her and for her at the horrific things that had happened to her. I also assured her there was nothing that was wrong or broken in her that could bring any of that about—it was all due to her abuser’s sickness and brokenness.
“I finally feel like I could confront him about this—but he’s dead. What do I do with all of this now? I feel like there’s no hope for healing. It’s too late. I waited too long. He’s dead— my father’s dead!” Her crying turned to sobs from the depths of her soul.
I held her tight—crying with her.
When she was able to speak again, I asked her if she wanted me to guide her through something that had really helped me and my clients. Catching her breath she said, “Yes, please, I’m ready to try anything!”
I asked her to close her eyes and imagine I was her father and to tell me whatever she needed/wanted to say to him if he were sitting there. “Please, hold nothing back!” I encouraged her. “It’s important you say anything and everything you would want to say to him, okay?” At first, she wasn’t sure she could do it—which is very natural. Talking to an abuser about the damage he/she caused is very hard. Even if you’re speaking to a surrogate, you’re still experiencing the pain of it.
Remember the research I shared in my last article that demonstrated how rejection piggybacks on physical pain pathways in the brain? Since our natural survival instincts kick in and want to help us avoid experiencing that same pain again, we must dig deep and push through with courage, confident that a positive outcome is on the other side.
Listen, my friend, I know someone is really needing to let this sink into their soul right now, just as I needed to many years ago. You will never find freedom by running from unresolved issues in your life. It’s not possible to outrun the pain of your past—it’s part of you and it’s always there with you. If something is unresolved, it means it’s not solved. Imagine you have an infection on your arm that continued to grow and get bigger. Finally, you go to the doctor, and they confirm, “Yes, that is a bad infection.” They put a huge bandage on it and say, “Well, there you go. Now you won’t even see it. That will be $150 please.” You would run out the door without paying because there was no resolution, right? Any infection we have—physical or emotional—will continue to grow and spread until we address it and get rid of it completely.
For Nancy, the more she opened up, the more empowered she felt to say whatever she needed to say to her abuser. Nancy made a brave choice and found her voice!
No matter where you might be on the childhood challenges spectrum—whether you enjoyed a loving, safe and secure home with minor bumps n’ bruises along the way; had a horrifically abusive home like Nancy or somewhere in between— it’s important to give yourself the grace, place and space to process anything that feels hurtful, shameful or painful. For you to acknowledge it gives you a voice and a choice of what
Commercial/ Residential Services:
Window cleaning • Pressure washing
Mowing services • Gutter cleaning 10% OFF

Kasey Long (208) -336-7986
If you have found this or another article valuable, please consider helping us bring stories like this to our community by supporting Christian Living Magazine, a 501(c)3 ministry, at ChristianLivingmag.com
We offer free confi dential pregnancy testing, verifi cation and limited ultrasounds. Call 208-466-4000 to schedule an appointment
to do with it now! As a little girl, I didn’t have a voice or choice regarding the neglect or abuse I endured. But by God’s grace I’ve been able to go back and counteract all the negative messages with the Truth of God’s Word and what He says about my value and worth. Also, I’ve learned to give myself the love and compassion I so craved from the adults in my life who were ill-equipped to provide it.
The reality is, unlike Nancy’s abuser, most parents did the best they could with the tools they had at the time, so this is not about blaming. Instead, it's about understanding yourself so you can feel, deal, and heal.
In my research over the years, I’ve heard numerous doctors share how childhood dysfunction, hurts and traumas have left the greatest invisible scars on their patients’ souls and how different those individuals' physical health would be if they’d had the tools to help them heal that pain. This is one of the reasons I believe so strongly in the power of self-compassion. It gives back what was withheld or taken from us as a child. It empowers us to go back and meet our sad, suffering soul in that exact place where we felt alone, abandoned or abused. We can then acknowledge that pain and give ourselves the love, compassion and nurturing we deeply and desperately desired at the time. Combined with the unending blessings God gives
us for love, power and a sound mind, when we go back for personal restoration, we are able to give ourselves the gift of going forward in peace and freedom. ❤Feel ❤ Deal ❤ Heal 1. Stay in God’s Word and memorize Scripture about your TRUE worth and value. 2. Give yourself the grace, space and place to journal about anything you want to process, no Joan Endicott matter how ancient or trivial it seems. If you’re still thinking about it, it’s time to process it! 3. Find someone you can trust implicitly who is qualified to help you navigate this journey. 4. Be loving and patient with yourself! Life happened in layers—so does healing. 5. Continually give yourself the compassion you crave. You’re the only one who knows how you feel. I pray God’s abundant blessing over you as you learn to feel and deal, so you can heal! n Grab your FREE copy of Joan Endicott’s “I Get To!”® book and videos at www.JoanEndicott.com. Joan is an AwardWinning Keynote Speaker, Author and Coach who’s coaching has reached over 30 countries. Meet her and enjoy her encouraging messages on Facebook and Instagram.
5090 N. Sawyer • Garden City, ID
Furnace & A/C Service - Maintenance - Replacement
Maintenance Plans Includes Furnace And AC Maintenance $19.50 /Month 100% Money Back Guarantee

Now Offering Residential Electrical & Plumbing Services Celebrating 23 Ye s in Business!

24/7 Service
208-378-6624

www.DiamondHeatingandCooling.com







By Ashley Sears & Sandy Jones
This year Ashley Sears, founder of Stories Unveiled, Nataliya Barbin of Hello Beauty Full & Co. and Kelly McMurry with The Closet Inc. have partnered to bring you an amazing women’s event that will change lives for women of all ages.
The Stories Unveiled Conference is a women’s conference that combines personal stories from women in all seasons of life, as well as biblical teaching and incredible worship. Six women will share the story God is writing in their lives through personal experiences. This year’s conference will be covering various topics such as mental health, forgiveness, trauma, marriage and the negative effects of pornography.
The 2022 Stories Unveiled conference will be held Saturday, September 24, at Bridgepoint Church, which is located at 2530 S. Broadway Avenue in Boise, Idaho. Doors open at 9:30 a.m.
When asked ‘how does attending this conference help attendees?’ Ashley Sears answered, “We believe that no one was meant to do life alone and part of being in community is feeling seen and heard. Sharing our story and giving God the glory in our mess is one of the most powerful ways to find freedom. This event has helped women connect with others and help build community. When we partner with churches, we are able to direct women to a church community if they are not already connected somewhere. We also have vendor tables that offer helpful resources such as Christian coaching, marriage resources, porn and sex addiction recovery resources, etc. Women leave Stories Unveiled encouraged, uplifted, challenged and free.”
When she was asked about the partnership between these 3 dynamic ladies and their ministries, Ashley was quick to say, “Stories Unveiled and Hello Beauty Full first connected after both of our stories were featured on the cover of Christian Living Magazine just a few months apart. We began partnering by combining Nataliya’s love for apparel with a purpose and my own desire to help women live a more authentic life. For almost two years we have been working together to bring biblical messages to women around the Treasure Valley. I later met Kelly, from Scan to register The Closet, through Hello Beauty Full. When I heard that Nataliya had been helping support The Closet with her t-shirts, I knew I wanted to help as well. It was the stories of the impact The Closet is having on the Treasure Valley that were so moving.” During this year’s Stories Unveiled conference there will be a silent auction for those attending in person, with various items and in a broad price range. All money raised by this silent auction will go directly to The Closet Inc. Today, thousands of teens in the Treasure Valley are connected with The Closet through their school counselors, juvenile corrections case managers, homeless shelters and other local agencies. These teens are able to make a one-on-one appointment for personalized shopping, in addition to support and unparalleled compassion. “We believe that stories are what connect us. Everyone’s story matters and we know the importance of sharing our own story,” Ashley said. n For tickets, or more information, please go to www.storiesunveiledconference.com or www.eventbrite.com/e/358242211097
The original stories about these ministries may be found on our own website, www.ChristianLivingMag.com, under our Past Issues tab:
Ashley Sears – Stories Unveiled, published Sept/Oct 2020;
Nataliya Barbin – Hello Beauty Full and Co, May/June 2021;
Kelly McMurry – The Closet, March/April 2017.
Partnering for this year’s Stories Unveiled conference are, from left to right, Nataliya Barbin, Kelly McMurray, and Ashley Sears. On the cover of this issue, the women are all wearing
T-shirts created by Nataliya. (photo by Isabel Wright; isabel_erinblackwellstudio) Christian Living | September / October 2022 25