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SEPTEMBER/OCTOBER 2014
I N s ideOUT
Salon
Cuts & styles in His service
EMILY
Bridges Attitude is everthing
HUMAN
Trafficking World’s oldest crime
OUTDOORS
With Dougherty Huckleberries and bears
Dawn Maglish, owner of INsideOUT Salon
Teaching and Talk that Inspires, Encourages, and Edifies. New Life Live - Steve Arterburn Family Talk - James Dobson Insight for Living - Chuck Swindoll Turning Point - David Jeremiah Family Life Today - Dennis Rainey Matt Slick Live - Matt Slick Focus on the Family - Jim Daly Truth for Life - Alistair Begg Destined for Victory - Paul Sheppard
9-2014
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Contents September / October 2014 “The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing.” — Psalm 23:1
Columns
5
Features 8 Sun River Equine Youth Ranch:
10
22
Kids & horses
Cover Story —
Volume 2, Number 5
Marriage Toolbox: Improve communication The Brighter Side: Emily Bridges Outdoors with Dougherty: Huckleberries and bears
This: 24 Consider Passionate prayer Free: 26 Breaking God’s mighty hand from Home: 27 Notes A fancy night
INsideOUT Salon:
16
One-of-a-kind non-profit
Human trafficking: The oldest crime
18
INsideOUT Salon: The Ripples
20
Human trafficking: Links, books and more
21
Faith: 29 Challenging Opportunity knocked
Departments 6
The Missionary Life: Youth trip to San Francisco
12
Living Witness: Sharry Milanowski
Spotlight: 14 Business Glen Lexa
In Each Edition Boyd Chikatulah:
28
Chrysalis:
30
‘Take a risk’
A change of hearts
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4
Publisher’s Corner: Different is good
Publisher Sandy Jones Editor Gaye Bunderson gayeb@sterlingmedialtd.com 208-639-8301 Sales & Marketing Melva Bade melvab@sterlingmedialtd.com 208-501-9024 • Maria Jones mjones.bcl@gmail.com 208-353-2090 • Sandy Jones boisechristianliving@gmail.com 208-703-7860 Graphic Design Denice King Contributors Angela Strong, Hilarey Johnson, Ron Kern, Dan Dougherty, Dani Grigg, Joel Lund, Brian Raymond, Dan Woodworth and Leo Hellyer Distribution Specialists Doris Evans and Shauna Howard Cover Photo Steve Jones Website Design SEO Idaho Webmaster Design Liza Morgan Christian Living is committed to encouraging and instructing individuals in their daily lives by presenting stories of people in the Treasure Valley who are living on a foundation of faith in Jesus Christ and who serve as uplifting examples to others. Views expressed in Christian Living do not necessarily represent those of the publisher. Every effort has been made by Christian Living to insure accuracy of the publication contents. However, we do not guarantee the accuracy of all information nor the absence of errors and omissions; hence, no responsibility can be or is assumed. All Rights Reserved. Copyright 2014 by Christian Living Magazine LLC. Christian Living is published every other month and is available in over 800 locations throughout the Treasure Valley, including most grocery stores, convenience stores, medical waiting areas, and churches. If your church would like additional copies please email us today at boisechristianliving@gmail.com Find us on Facebook Badge
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Christian Living | September / October 2014
PUBLISHER’S Corner
To Be or Not To Be… Weird that IS Our every move — a scary thought: I’m friendly. I like people. I have the gift of gab. I’m a hugger. All wonderful attributes once you get to know me, but more than once I’ve been thought to be a flirt and of questionable morals because of these traits. So the thought that people watch my every move makes me self-conscious Sandy Jones, Publisher Christian of these gifts — the very Living Magazine gifts that my friends, family and acquaintances tell me make them feel loved and that make me uniquely loveable to them. Hmmm... there’s that “different” again. As the kids in our community head back to school, or maybe even you starting a new week this coming Monday, as we enter the fall season, seeing leaves change from yellow, to gold, to brown, perhaps this is a great time to reflect on God’s perfect love for all of His children. He made us all uniquely in His own image! Then He paved the way for all of us to have His great gift of salvation through His Son — who was also thought of as different... unique... weird.
School days, school days Dear old Golden Rule days ‘Reading and ‘riting and ‘rithmetic Taught to the tune of the hick’ry stick. By Sandy Jones Aww, September: cooler mornings and the beginning of the end of the dog days of summer. New school clothes, and the sense of a fresh beginning that comes with new tablets, binders, and never before used pencils, pens and crayons! It’s gonna be the best year ever!!! Oh, I remember that thought as a kid. Having an early September birthday never hurt either, with my special day often falling the first week of school — I always felt that gave me a leg up on the chance to climb the popularity chart. What I never took into account was that I was still the same ol’ nerd that had left to go on summer break the previous May. I hadn’t changed, not emerged from some magical cocoon as the beautiful butterfly. I was awkward and klutzy; having been raised in the backroom of my parents’ drive-in restaurant, I was mature for my age, so I got along better with adults than kids my own age. But even then I was OK with being unique. Let’s face it, as Christians we are often viewed by society as unique… different… odd — perhaps even weird. And that’s OK. We just need to check ourselves to be sure that the “different” they’re seeing is that we have hope, a brighter outlook, are encouraging, and are trustworthy all day long. These are the changes we look for as we turn into the beautiful butterflies that Christ’s love turns us into as we sincerely seek Him. Back in the late 90’s I was selling advertising at a local auto dealership. One day I found myself alone in the office with a young salesman. He requested permission to ask me a question. Anyone who knows me knows I’m an open book; the answer to that request is generally met with, “Sure, and if I don’t know the answer I’ll make one up!” He then dropped his bomb, stating more than asking, really. “You have to be a Christian,” he said. “You’re just.... different! It’s obvious. It just shows.” I admitted I’d been outed and asked if that was a good thing. He was overjoyed and made me feel like he’d just met a celebrity. Suddenly being different wasn’t such a bad thing. My day-to-day actions, my business conduct with this young man had been my silent testimonial; if he hadn’t said anything, I would never have known. It also made me suddenly aware that people are watching. Watching our behavior, our work ethic, and sometimes our every move. September / October 2014 | Christian Living
On a personal note, I would like to thank each of you for your prayers and kind words of support following my July Publisher’s Corner, where I shared about our daughter-inlaw’s (Shannon Brown) diagnosis of stage IV breast cancer. These past months have had their trying moments, and have often truly been a challenge. We are humbly grateful as we know it is the strength we’ve all received from God above, in answer to all of the many prayers sent in her honor, that have quite literally carried us through this time. Joshua 1:9: Be strong and courageous, do not be afraid. God will be with you and will never forsake you.n
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MARRIAGE Toolbox
DAVE’S Learning to communicate better QUICK LUBE ing those between a husband and wife. This book is packed with great take-aways, but there are a few key thoughts. To have positive results with communication, we must learn to look at the situation we are in and be assured that communication is actually taking place. We also must ensure everyone in the conversation feels safe. If we refuse to take offense and make our motive genuine, show respect for others, and search for a mutual purpose, then the other person will usually join in the dialogue. In any crucial communications, differences of opinion, disagreements, arguments — whatever you want to call them — may indicate progress isn’t being made if communication isn’t taking place.
OOL
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35 YEARS IN BUSINESS DAVE YOSHIDA ~ OWNER
Continued on page 15
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09-2014
By Leo Hellyer One of the areas of our lives that impact our relationship as a loving, godly man and woman united in marriage is how we communicate with each other. One of the benefits of improving how we communicate as a husband and wife is that those same thoughts, actions and techniques can be utilized in other parts of our lives. Our daily communications with co-workers, friends, relatives, partners in ministry, etc. can all be much more positive and productive if we will communicate with everyone in a Christ-like manner. As part of a Pastor’s Leadership Learning Community I read a great secular business/self-help book titled “Crucial Conversations – Tools for Talking When Stakes are High.” This book is a wonderful guide to all types of crucial conversations, includ-
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Christian Living | September / October 2014
THE MISSIONARY Life
Youth group serves in San Francisco
Youth group members and leaders from The Journey in Boise spent time this past summer volunteering for the City Impact mission in San Francisco’s Tenderloin District. (Courtesy photo)
By Angela Strong For the third year in a row, the youth group at The Journey spent their summer raising money to make a 14-hour road trip to San Francisco and work for a week at the City Impact mission in the inner city. The area is called the Tenderloin District and consists of one square mile of 586 low-income apartment complexes, over 37,000 residents, and 5,000 homeless. The idea for the trip started when youth group leader Chris Carpenter overheard kids saying, “Life sucks.” He spoke to Pastor Mike Boswell about it, and the two decided to get the kids out of Boise so they could experience a new environment where they would be able to serve others, see how good their lives really are, and have their faith tested. As Pastor Mike grew up in the Tenderloin District, he already had connections with City Impact, and he knew that there weren’t any other places within driving distance that needed as much help. Jordan Meuser, age 15, admits to going on the trip at first to have a good time with his friends, but his goal changed to helping people after a couple days. Since he’s returned home, he’s prayed for a homeless man named Reggie every single day. “Reggie was a mess, but talking to him showed me that even if you aren’t ready for God, God will still be ready for you,” Meuser said. He was also shocked to see how much the homeless people wanted to give back to him. If he handed them a bag of chips,
they wanted to offer him something in return, so they would tell him advice about not doing drugs and staying in school. Pastor Mike wasn’t as surprised. “We are called to be Jesus to these people, but sometimes they are Jesus to us,” he said. Worship leader Paul Seideman went on the trip to help out and visit his college-age daughter who was spending the whole summer at City Impact, but he also returned home with new perspective. “People down there are open about their brokenness. They don’t pretend. In coming back, my mission now is to take off the layers that isolate me and keep me from being real,” he said. The students had to attend training classes to prepare them for what they will see on their trip and how to react, though it didn’t prevent one teen from accidentally wandering into the middle of a drug deal. The mission is situated across the street from a police station, so that meant the teens were safe, but it also meant they heard sirens blare all night long. The street sweepers also run every night and since people often defecate on the sidewalks, those have to be cleaned, as well. When the group returned to Boise, they shared at church about the time spent volunteering in the thrift store, taking food door to door, leading worship services, helping out in the private school, and doing street ministry. Michael Boswell, the pastor’s 14-year-old son, spoke about the homeless people who claimed to be having a good day just because they woke up that morning.
September / October 2014 | Christian Living
“These people have nothing, but we are the ones who complain,” he said. “It’s an eye-opener,” said Trista Pruitt, age 15. “I’m lucky to have what I have. Compared to them, I have more than I need.” Carlie Rogers, age 15 added, “We take so many things for granted that some people would die for. Simply smiling at a person down there could make their day.” She didn’t want to leave because she felt like she hadn’t done enough, but those who had gone on the trip before noticed a change in the environment from their previous visit. “The first year I went, I just felt brokenness. But this year going back, I saw hope. God is there. And he’s doing great things. City Impact is making a difference, so all the people who volunteer are helping to make that difference,” said youth leader Scott Logan. The ministry is definitely growing. In fact, the book Chasing God by the founder of City Impact, Roger Huang, has been optioned for film. Besides that, best-selling author and speaker Francis Chan has gotten involved with their church plant movement. Logan’s son Dakota, age 14, decided to go last minute and still owes a little bit of money, but he claims, “It was definitely worth it.” The team came back to find out that they had won the KTSY Random Acts of Funness Contest for their efforts and will be getting to spend a day at Roaring Springs for their prize. Pastor Mike is hoping to keep trips like this going, so please visit journeyboise.com to get connected; or find out more about possibly planning your own trip at sfcityimpact. com. “It was a trip I wish everyone could have gone on,” said Pastor Mike. “Mission work isn’t just for a week. It’s for a lifetime.” n Angela Strong lives in the Treasure Valley with her husband and three kids. They helped inspire her recently published middle-grade novel “The Water Fight Professional.” She is currently working on “The Snowball Fight Professional,” a sequel set for release this November. Find out more about her and her books at angelaruthstrong.com.
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THE Brighter Side
Emily’s story: attitude is everything By Ronald Kern December 2013. Most teens are finishing up their semester at school, looking forward to winter break, getting ready for Christmas. They might be hanging out with friends, buying dresses for a dance, finishing up finals. Emily Bridges was a junior in high school, 17 years old, and her December started to deteriorate as she began to experience headaches. With all the pressures of school and the future looming ahead of her, you might expect stress to cause some issues, but soon the headaches started to increase into fullblown, daily, stop-what-she-was-doing monster migraines. “The pain is so intense it feels like someone is trying to rip my eyeballs out, and it feels like someone is stabbing me in the head with knives,” she said. These escalated to a point that she knew something just wasn’t right. Emily’s vision was being affected, she couldn’t sleep, and felt miserable pretty much day and night. Often, her hands and feet would go numb, and clearly these weren’t just your typical headaches, as they were constant and extreme in nature. Each major episode resulted in a trip to the emergency room, and (using the typical 1-10 pain scale) “…when I arrived it was about a 20.” After receiving the maximum dose of medication allowed, she would leave with the pain being a “7 or 8.” “If a trip to the ER just takes the edge off, something must be seriously wrong,” she said. In January, Emily’s family knew she would have to stop attending school, and they began home schooling so she could keep up. While at home, the intense pain would force her to lie motionless in bed, with all sources of light removed and many ice packs placed around her head. “Sometimes I would just take highpowered medication to make me sleep so I wouldn’t have to endure the pain anymore,” she explained. As you can see, these headaches weren’t just inconveniences; they were like a jail sentence, forcing her to not leave home, sometimes not even her bedroom, and there wasn’t any escape from them. She couldn’t even ride her beloved horse and missed her barrel racing tremendously.
A visit to her family physician in January 2014 resulted in an MRI. When the results came back, and her parents sat her down to discuss them, she knew it was serious. Her mother relayed that Emily had been diagnosed with a brain tumor. “I knew at that moment that my entire life was about to change,” she said. Her parents, both of whom work in the medical field, told her that they would do all they could to provide her the best doctors available in the country. A few days and several more MRI’s later, more details emerged. It was a pituitary tumor, which was wrapped inside of her optic nerve. As they sat down to discuss this with the doctor, however, there was a surprise. Emily and her family were told her that she had Chiari malformation, which is a structural defect in the cerebellum. Emily and her parents thought the doctor was in the wrong room, had the wrong patient or chart, but that wasn’t the case. They had entered the office to discuss a tumor, not Chiari malformation. The doctor recommended immediate surgery to correct this new development, and although it was a shock to them, they agreed. Emily came home, got on her knees, and prayed to God. She asked for Him to be with her during the surgery, and to watch over her. I want to mention here that up to this point, Emily had been predominantly positive about her situation, and continued to show her strength and belief in God. Emily’s first brain surgery was not to remove the tumor but to shave off 10mm of her spine, allowing fluids to flow better and possibly help with the migraines. The surgery left 18 staples in the back of her head, but as far as the headaches were concerned, they hadn’t stopped. Emily was home, facing the same agonizing pain, and could do very little outside or inside the home but rest, sleep, and be a captive to the migraines. By early May 2014, the continuous migraines, pain, rarely leaving home, and countless doctor visits had forced her to leave the life, school, friends and activities she had once known behind. “These were very trying times for me,” she said. Still, she remained faithful and, somehow, optimistic.
September / October 2014 | Christian Living
For close to a year, Emily Bridges has endured severe headaches requiring extensive surgery. Though her medical trials have forced her to give up school, friends and horses — at least for now — her faith in God has not wavered. (Photo by Austin Williams Photography)
Since they were not seeing any improvement in Emily’s condition after the first surgery, her parents were able to make contact with a doctor in California who is ranked as one of the top four doctors in the United States relating to brain tumors. A trip to California soon followed. Some friends in the rodeo community put together a fundraiser, called “Barrels for Bridges,” which raised enough money to pay for the trip, a huge blessing for the family as the medical bills continued to pile up. Still just 17 years old, Emily underwent her second brain surgery on May 16, this time to remove the tumor to save her vision. This would be tricky, as they would enter her brain through her nose, untangle the tumor from her optic nerve, and remove it. This painful surgery was a success; however, as far as the headaches were concerned, they were still happening. Four days after surgery, Emily was forced to use a wheelchair to get around. She was very sick, experiencing severe nausea and vomiting, and in horrific pain. This was likely due to the reduction of steroids that she had been taking, and caused an adrenal gland crisis.
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After more than 30 ER visits, 9 MRIs, several doctors, numerous medications (she takes 32 pills every single day), and two brain surgeries, Emily still had no relief from her migraines and now had new issues. In spite of all that, and what really convicted me to share her story, is her consistent positive energy, attitude, and faith in God and her belief He has a plan for her. I want to share just a few Facebook posts which exemplify her attitude: “Never let your prayin’ knees get lazy.” “When something bad happens, you can either let it destroy you, or you can become stronger.” “As I woke up this morning, I couldn’t thank God enough for watching over me.” She added, “I pray to the Lord to give me strength, guidance, and show me the light at the end of the tunnel. I’d rather be happy and sick than sad and sick. It’s a choice you make. These migraines have pretty much altered my life over the last year, but it won’t destroy who I am.” Emily was scheduled for a DHE (dihydroergotamine) treatment in California August 10-15 (prior to publication of this article). The treatment consists of being injected with DHE for five days and can cause great sick- A former business owner in Meridian for ness and nausea, similar to a chemotherapy more than 20 years, Ronald Kern and treatment. his wife, Lisa, are now retired. They are founders of Kern Ministry Foundation, If this treatment works, I asked her, what Inc., a nonprofit Christian organization that would be some of the first things she would provides life’s essentials, medical supplies and do without having a headache for the first educational resources for children, families time in almost a year? Emily smiled (which and communities worldwide. Kern is an she usually does and did during my interentrepreneur, business and life consultant, auview) and said, “I would go to church and thor, motivational speaker and philanthropist. thank God, give my doctor a hug, visit every Contact him anytime at single person who has helped me during the www.RonaldAKern.com or last year and, of course, ride my horse.” TheBrighterSide@icloud.com. Emily has endured more pain already than many of us ever will, and she inspires me with her attitude, outlook, and appreciation for the little things, which all too often we take for granted. She has had great family support and points out that her mother, Susan, has been beside her every single step of the way. That is a lot of steps, and I can’t imagine having a child in severe pain and not being able to help; clearly, Susan is a very strong woman. “I hope to be able to pay her back someday for everything she has done,” Emily told me. I hope her story inspires everyone to count their blessings, not to take the little things for granted, and to understand the choice is theirs on how to react to what life throws at them. The true blessing for me is having the opportunity to hear her story, hopefully do it justice through my writing, and for how lucky I am to have met her. With God’s help, my followup story will be one including no more headaches, going to school, being able to leave the house, riding her horse…you know, the little things. n A fundraising campaign has been started to offset some of the cost of Emily’s new California trip and volumes of medical bills continuing to accumulate. You can visit igg.me/at/emilyb to donate, pray, or help spread the message. You can also listen to the full interview with Emily at thebrightersideworldwide.com.
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Christian Living | September / October 2014
SUN RIVER Equine Youth Ranch
Building a horse and kid connection
Each child who visits Sun River Equine Youth Ranch is paired with a volunteer mentor who helps the child throughout the ride. (Courtesy photo)
By Gaye Bunderson At Sun River Equine Youth Ranch, horses and kids go together like horseshoes and saddles. The ranch, located at 6156 Deer Flat Road in Nampa, was co-founded in 2012 by Mike and Tanya Ambler. It is a ministry fashioned after Crystal Peaks Youth Ranch in Bend, Ore. The idea is to connect children with various needs with abused, abandoned or neglected horses — a match made in heaven, as it turns out. “The horses are good with kids with autism and trust issues, or kids from broken households. The horses learn to trust too. They learn people can be gentle and loving. They become receptive to the kids,” Tanya Ambler said. She discovered horses as a young person growing up in Southern California. After some “mean girl” troubles at school, she developed body image issues that led to a bout with bulimia. Her grandmother owned a ranch — called Sun River — and Tanya found being around horses therapeutic. “They don’t judge you; they don’t care,” Tanya said. She eventually ended up in the Gem State. She had gone to school to be a special education teacher. After she married Mike and they moved to a ranch in Kuna, they started boarding horses. “To feed our ‘horse habit,’” Tanya jokes. Mike started to imagine a large horse-based ministry on their homestead, with cabins and all kinds of things. It was one of those “if we win the lottery, we could do this” dreams. Then one day, as Tanya looked at their kitchen window, she realized they could indeed have a ministry but could do it with what they already had. The couple eventually moved from their Kuna site to their current residence on Deer Flat Road, where they have enough barns and corrals to keep 10 horses and allow for 45 to 50 kids per week to come out and enjoy riding the gentle animals that bond with them. “The kids don’t know it’s therapy; they spend their whole life in therapy. We want to see kids playing on horses,” Tanya said. The kids undertake such activities on horseback as playing basketball and sometimes even turning backwards in the saddle and painting on the horses’ backsides. “Our horses put up with everything,” Tanya said. The Amblers currently have a smorgasbord of equines, including a mini horse, quarter horse, Tennessee walking horse, palomino, and a percheron, which is a large draft horse.
10 September / October 2014 | Christian Living
“Sometimes the biggest horses are the gentlest. We have some big, slow horses,” said Tanya. She works with each new horse for a few weeks to gauge if it has the temperament for ministry. “It takes a while to judge horses. Sometimes there’s a red flag that a horse will not be a good fit for the program,” she said, calling some “fine-wired” horses too easily spooked to work with children. The youngsters are cared for by a volunteer mentor every time they ride, and Tanya always tries to pair each child with the same mentor each week. Right now, SREYR has 35 volunteers, both adult volunteers and junior volunteers. Tanya believes young people between the ages of 11 to 16 can learn a lot through serving at the ranch and giving back to others. Though the Amblers do have experienced riders as volunteers, it is not a prerequisite for participation. “We have a spring training session, but we can’t teach a heart to serve,” Tanya said. Wanting to help the children is the most important component for the volunteers. Children who come out to ride at SREYR are generally from ages of 5 to 18, though there have been exceptions, according to Tanya. They have special needs from autism to cerebral palsy. Some of them are foster children and are in transition waiting to be adopted. Parents or other caregivers are never required to list any child’s special need. “We don’t ask,” said Tanya. “We don’t want any titles or boxes here. We accept the differences and the disabilities.” No one is ever turned away at the Amblers’ ranch. They want all children to have the opportunity to enjoy the thrill of riding and controlling a strong, beautiful and gentle animal. The youngsters perform ranch-related chores. They may groom the horses, feed and water them, or put fly spray on them, among other responsibilities. Recently, Sun River held a Horse Spa Day. “The horses do so much for us, we wanted to give back to the horses,” Tanya said. All services are free at Sun River Equine Youth Ranch. Tanya said it costs as much as $20 a day to feed the horses, and the ranch operates on contributions and occasional fundraising. They also hold free fireside worship nights during which Mike, who is a pastor, plays the guitar and leads everyone in singing. Participants gather around the fire and are invited to talk about Christ’s healing in their lives.
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The Amblers feel they were called to the special youthsand-equines ministry and say that when it began to take off, everything fell into place — a sign, they feel, that they were and are proceeding in the right direction. No one who comes to Sun River is ever obligated to participate in a religious service of any kind. Tanya said she and Mike prefer to spread their message of God’s love through what they do and how they do it. “We focus more on showing than telling,” she said. n For more information on Sun River Equine Youth Ranch, go to sunriverequineranch.org.
9-2014
Destiny Benjamin has been riding horses at Sun Valley Equine Youth Ranch for three years. She is shown here with a mare named Belle. (Courtesy photo)
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Christian Living | September / October 2014 11
LIVING Witness
Reaching for ‘a pinprick of light’ By Gaye Bunderson When Sharry Milanowski tried to give her life to the Lord as a young woman, she was told by a legalistic Christian neighbor she wasn’t really saved. Sharry said she then prayed every day — and sometimes twice a day — for 15 years, asking Christ to come into her life. Of course, her Savior was there all along. But Sharry traveled through some dark chasms before she knew Him personally and experienced the sure safety of His presence. At 19, Sharry married the man she calls “my hero”: Warren Malinowski, founder of the local chapter of the Fellowship of Christian Airline Personnel and overseer of a chapel at the Boise Airport. The Muskegon Chronicle in the Milanowskis’ home state of Michigan published the names of local men serving in Vietnam, and Warren, who goes by the nickname Ski, was listed. The Chronicle encouraged people to write letters to the soldiers, and Sharry’s cousin corresponded with Ski. When he came home for a visit, his mother held a party for all the people who wrote to him, and Sharry attended with her cousin. “I sat on a piano bench with Ski and fell in love with a uniform first,” Sharry said. After Ski went off to Camp Pendleton, he and Sharry corresponded. “He sounded like Superman, and I sounded like Lois Lane. You know, you make everything sound perfect,” Sharry said. “I saw him three times and then got married.” After living in other areas, the Milanowskis were lured to Boise by the area’s lower cost of living. Now, 46 years and two children later, the couple lives in a beautiful home in a cul-desac in a subdivision off State Street. The dark chasms? Sharry scaled them, with some difficulty, since the tender age of 5 when she started suffering abuse at the hands of her stepfather. She endured for many years…until she wasn’t able any longer. “I just started wanting to get help,” she said. “I was really depressed — manic-depressive.” She was hospitalized and given electroshock treatments, wiping out her short-term memory. Once, while walking down the street in a Boise neighborhood, she saw a Protestant church. She entered, sat alone in an empty sanctuary, picked up a songbook and read the words to “Amazing Grace.” While she admits it wasn’t a “bright light” moment, she was nonetheless moved to say to the Lord: “I don’t know if You’re real, but if You are, come into my life.” “I didn’t like the idea of a father in control,” she said. The abuse had led to distrust of father figures. It was at this time that her patronizing neighbor convinced her that her salvation wasn’t real. Nonetheless, Sharry attended church and even taught Sunday school. “I didn’t know what I was doing,” she admits. “I was still questioning. There was no resolution about what had happened when I was growing up.” Sometime in the late ‘70s, she ended up in therapy with a local Christian counselor — an event she calls “catastrophic.” She prefers not to identify the man because as it turns out, he was a charlatan and Christian by name only. He filled her with so many psychotropic drugs she ended up in a straitjacket at Intermountain Medical Hospital.
12 September / October 2014 | Christian Living
Sharry Milanowski loves scrapbooking. She’s gone through some difficult times in her life but made it through them all by the grace of God and the love of her steadfast husband Warren. (Photo by Gaye Bunderson)
“He was a pillar of the community, but he was entirely someone else. He was an abuser of women. He used the Bible a lot, but it was all mixed up,” Sharry said. “He once said to me, ‘Sharry, don’t you know by now that I am God?’” After an incident in his office that involved a pack of razor blades, a lot of blood, and as many over-the-counter drugs as Sharry could buy, she came under the control of mental health examiners and a judge who held her fate in his hands. Should she be committed to the psychiatric hospital in Orofino? One of the examiners said yes; the other said no. But there was another Power at work, and her life was in much greater Hands. Sharry strongly recalled reading Proverbs 3:5 — “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.” “I said to God, ‘Your will be done, but I can’t go to Orofino, because I’m not crazy,’” Sharry said. The court date was set for the judge to announce his decision. “Ski came, as well as others from our church. It was so cool — someone cared. … And the judge was so kind,” she said. She was not put in Orofino. Instead, she was sent to counseling in Palm Springs, where she lived for a month with a Christian counselor and her husband. She admits to having “I don’t want any part of you, God” moments, and her healing took time. With the mountain of drugs her charlatan counselor had administered to her, it was a wonder she survived at all, she was told. But moments of beauty blessed her in the form of her steadfast husband, who, through her drug-filled and Intermountain Hospital days, wrote her loving, encouraging notes every morning.
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“I had 50 or 60 of those notes,” she said. Those small, kind messages aren’t the only reason Ski is her hero. “It took me a long time to get back to church. I didn’t trust anybody. Some people would say, ‘I can’t believe he didn’t leave you’ or ‘You’re so lucky to have him.’ One day Ski overheard that, and he said, ‘I’m the lucky one.’ It was the first time anyone had ever said that about me.” For the past five years, the Milanowskis have attended The River Church on State Street in Eagle. “I wanted to be part of a church where I could contribute,” Sharry said. She has undergone 20 surgeries in her life, and recently recuperated from a rotator cuff operation. “I think God has been preparing me for perseverance,” she said. “The Bible talks about hope. If I were to tell anybody one thing, it would be that if there is a pinprick of light so small you barely see it, grab onto it! There’s nothing you can’t overcome. I have empathy for people, but not sympathy when people say, ‘I can’t.’ With God there is no ‘can’t.’ God saved my life. “I never asked God, ‘Why me?’ I thought, ‘Why not me? Am I so special?’ That is the crux of my faith now. It doesn’t matter what happens. The outcome is important, not the going through it.” What about the legalistic and even false Christians she encountered? “I have good Christian friends. You can’t blame Christians for other Christians’ bad behavior,” she said. Sharry scrapbooks now and does scrapbooking projects for others. She also creates homemade greeting cards, and she has two grandchildren she adores. “God will turn all things to good,” she said. “That was such a hell. … I’m happy now. I’m at peace.” n Meet Sharry, be treated to a tasty scone and pleasant conversation that ends with a goodbye hug. Then email Ski and tell him he’s married to a pretty swell person, and he writes back: “Thanks. I think she’s kinda special too.”
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Christian Living | September / October 2014 13
BUSINESS Spotlight
Glen Lexa says take the first step By Gaye Bunderson When a business falters and closes its doors, it’s not only the business owner who suffers. His or her employees take a hit as well, in loss of pay, benefits and sometimes even self-esteem. Glen Lexa, owner of Markit Builders, sees his primary role as helping businesses get on top and stay there, as he feels marketing is more than advertising. “Business growth is the number one focus,” Lexa said. That is accomplished, according to Lexa, through helping businesses get what they need most: customers, either walking through the door or shopping online. “Starting a business is the biggest leap of faith,” he said. He cites a Martin Luther King, Jr. quote: “Faith is taking the first step even when you don’t see the whole staircase.” “Faith takes us away from our comfort zone. We don’t know where that first step is going to lead,” said Lexa, who originally started a business coaching and consulting company in 1995 called Lexa Consulting. “I started with nothing, but wanted to use my talents to help businesses with marketing and consulting. As our faith teaches us, with helping other people, we help ourselves. It’s been 19 years now and over 300 different businesses.” He became a Christian about 15 years ago when a pastor client gave him a church business card and invited him to services. Now, he is a co-leader in Celebrate Recovery, a Christ-centered 12-step program. He stresses that Celebrate Recovery is not just about overcoming addictions but, as the organization promotes on its website at celebraterecovery.com, is designed to help people overcome “hurts, hang-ups and habits.” At age 15, Lexa left his hometown of Casper, Wyo., and Glen Lexa, shown here on a staircase at the Idaho State for two months rode a lengthy portion of the Oregon Capitol Building, believes starting a business is a leap of faith that starts with a single step. (Photo by Cy Gilbert) Trail on horseback with his father. The boy and his dad battled a hailstorm, lack of water, and other trials of rid“People know my base comes from God,” he said. ing a route that was originally carved through the country Lexa stated that most entrepreneurs, and especially in the early 1800s. startup entrepreneurs, think they’re all alone. But there They ended up – and stayed in – Sun Valley, where are many general and faith-based resources out there to Lexa attended Wood River High School. help people who are in business for themselves. “I was a cowboy in a prep school,” he said. The Idaho Small Business Development Center at Boise When it came time to choose a career path, Lexa feels State is one. marketing chose him, not the other way around. “There are support groups for businesses that are Chris“Marketing is about relationships,” he said. “I give busitian,” he said, offering My Team (myteamidaho.com) as nesses the tools to build those relationships.” an example. “There are small groups where people help He opened Markit Builders a year ago. He made the each other. They can seek out advice from fellow busichange from Lexa Consulting to “transition and slim nessmen and Christians.” down.” Lexa values the relationships he builds with clients but “Changing myself is hardest,” he conceded. feels there is one relationship in particular that has been Though discussing faith is definitely not a requirement pivotal to his success. for any client — and his run the gamut from believer “The more I let God in my business, the more the busito atheist — Lexa said that, for the most part, everyone ness grows,” he said. n knows where he’s coming from in both his personal and For more information, contact Lexa at 947-4041, professional dealings. glen@markitbuilders.com or visit markitbuilders.com. 14 September / October 2014 | Christian Living
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Marriage Toolbox Continued from page 5
Another great book for your Marriage Toolbox is “Overcoming Emotions that Destroy” by Chip Ingram and Dr. Becca Johnson. One of the key things that they bring out in this book is the fact that most of the time it is feelings or emotions that ruin relationships. In the book they say, “We need the courage, strength, and grace to face the root issues that bring anger, to get our fingernails spiritually and emotionally dirty and pull up things that may be painful. Through the Holy Spirit, God wants to deal with them once and for all.” Many of us have the very bad habit of stuffing, forgetting, or ignoring things in our life that are difficult and hoping they will go away. The problem is that they seldom go away, and unfortunately when they do resurface it is usually at the most inopportune time. Many times this results in an explosion that causes a lot of collateral damage. Ken Sande wrote a fantastic book for Focus on the Family in 2002 titled “Peacemaking for Families.” In the preface of the book, he talks about three ways that we can handle conflicts in our day-by-day family life. He says, “We can be peace-fakers, denying that we have problems, always giving in, or becoming distant from family members. We can be peace-breakers, relying on manipulation, a sharp tongue, or overt anger to compel others to give into our wishes... Our third option is to use the conflicts of family life to become peacemakers, drawing on God’s grace and practicing the powerful peacemaking principles He has given to us in His Word. “This approach may require a lot of work and change, but it is the surest way to preserve your marriage and see your family mature in love, in character, and in its witness for Christ.”
Unfortunately when we fail to properly communicate with our spouse in marriage, it doesn’t just stay there, it goes everywhere. Unresolved or poorly resolved issues between a husband and wife will very negatively affect their children. It may result in the children not knowing how to properly communicate with their spouse and the cycle repeats. Marital discord can and usually does spill over to work, social, and spiritual relationships and interactions as well. God created us for relationship. He created us for relationship with Him, and with others that He brings into our lives, particularly our spouse. What did Adam and Eve do when faced with the sin in their lives? They hid from God. They didn’t want to face what they had done. But God loved them so much that He pursued them, just as He does with us. We need to get to the point in our lives where every time we experience conflict, disagreement, destructive emotions, etc., we immediately go to our loving, gracious, all-wise Heavenly Father and come clean and seek His wisdom, courage, and direction in our lives. Keep building your Marriage Toolbox and remember that you can have the best tools available, but they are useless if you do not use them. God bless you on your journey of marriage and life in Christ. n Leo Hellyer is a non-staff pastor with a local church and has been married to his wife, Norma, for 41 years. The couple volunteered with FamilyLife on its Boise ministry team for 20 years. They are both employed by Boise Rescue Mission Ministries, Norma at City Light Home for Women & Children and Leo at River of Life Rescue Mission. They may be reached at silverplate426@msn.com. If you have questions about Marriage Toolbox, or need other assistance, Leo may be reached at 344-1357, ext. 4.
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Christian Living | September / October 2014 15
COVER STORY
Beauty shop fights
By Sandy Jones
Vision: INsideOUT Salon is an organization where fashion and compassion coincide to better our community and impact the world. Mother Teresa said, “I alone cannot change the world, but I can cast a stone across the waters to create many ripples.” Using this same philosophy, Dawn Maglish started the INsideOUT Salon nearly three years ago in Eagle, Idaho. She and her staff realize that everyone’s true beauty is on the inside, while often women need to feel beautiful on the outside as well. When her children were young, Dawn was pleased to stay home with them, while her husband, Mike, was the senior high youth pastor at a local church. She admits that it wasn’t always a great financial decision, but she and Mike agreed the rewards were worth the sacrifice. As their children got older and entered school, Mike knew Dawn would soon grow bored with being home alone and encouraged her to look into doing hair. As Dawn studied God’s Word, she realized that God’s mission for His people is an everyday mission. She heard about human trafficking, but thought that all she could ever do for the kids in Cambodia was to pray for them. That was until she heard a speaker at Boise Bible College who spoke about the girls who had been trafficked being taught a vocation by going through cosmetology training. Dawn felt God tugging at her heart, and the dream of INsideOUT Salon started that day. About this time Dawn read 1 Peter 4:10 (NIV): Each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve others, as faithful stewards of God’s grace in its various forms. She knew what she had to do — Dawn registered at Paul Mitchell school and completed 2,000 hours of training to answer her calling. Wanting INsideOUT Salon to be among the best, she traveled to salons in Toronto, New York and Las Vegas. Graduating from cosmetology school in 2010, Dawn leased a station in a local salon and went to work on January 15, 2011, so that she could see how a salon is run. Setting aside 10 percent of everything she earned to open the salon, she took classes about non-profits to see if the concept of a non-profit salon was even possible. One adviser suggested that it would be easier to just open a regular salon and donate your profits. Dawn knew that to complete her mission, INsideOUT had to be different; it had to be a non-profit. Today INsideOUT Salon is the only non-profit salon in the United States, paving the way for others to follow in Dawn’s footsteps. Meanwhile Dawn was researching organizations that rescue victims of sex and human trafficking — she needed to truly know the heart behind each agency. This was a difficult process as most of them basically dismissed her when they heard her plan. She called Destiny Rescue’s U.S. office in Indiana, and the president of the organization answered the phone. Could this be another confirmation, that this was indeed her mission? As Dawn explained her vision, the president said, “All right, we’ll take you” — simple as that. After so many dismissals, Destiny Rescue was accepting her. It wasn’t that easy for Dawn; she needed to be positive of its mission, and
16 September / October 2014 | Christian Living
Dawn Maglish is founder of INsideOUT Salon at 591 E. State St. in Eagle. The salon fights abuse of men, women and children who get caught up in the misery of human trafficking for sex or labor. Many of its clients have been abuse victims and its staff is trained in compassion and understanding, as well as cosmetology.
since she was going to be on vacation in the area in three weeks, she asked if she could meet the staff at Destiny Rescue. The representatives explained how Destiny Rescue works with the girls they liberate, how they actually go into the brothels and offer the girls freedom, and how the girls come out on their own accord. Using all volunteer staff, Destiny Rescue is able to use 100 percent of its donations to rescue these victims. They even invited Dawn to go with them on their next trip to
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the ugly side of life Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters. — Colossians 3:23 Thailand that following May. She felt the Holy Spirit moving her in a way she’d never felt before, even if she wasn’t quite sure yet what to do with that moving. Speaking at a women’s fellowship meeting the next week, she told them, “I’m just a stay at home mom, just a person that God called to serve Him... and I want to be a hairstylist, and to do that the best that I can to serve Him.” As a stay at home mom, Dawn never felt she had the money to get her hair done, and often found herself in sweats, feeling “frumpy,” and suffering from low self-esteem. She knew if she felt that way, there had to be millions of other women out there who felt the same way. She realized that her non-profit salon had more to serve than only the victims of human trafficking — she needed to serve everyone in the community by offering quality services at a low price. As a non-profit, all of INsideOUT Salon’s “prices” are a suggested donation, and no one is ever turned away whether they can pay or not. Dawn believes this opens doors to introduce God into people’s lives, by showing His love, and affirming that our outward appearance is just the icing on the cake. In August 2011, just eight months into being a hairstylist, Dawn received a call one day from a woman who’d heard her plans — this lady had found her a location to open INsideOUT Salon. God had blessed Dawn’s obedience and her client list had grown to a point she could no longer answer her own phone. But this was so soon.
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INsideOUT Salon serves everyone in the community by offering quality services at a low price. It is a one-of-a-kind non-profit salon.
She agreed to meet the woman just the same and see the location. The building needed a total makeover of its own, and there was no way Dawn could financially do that. It was suggested that she submit her offer to the landlord. She prayed, telling the Lord that if this was His will, to make it abundantly clear. Two days later the landlord sent word that he was accepting her offer. Not having been able to go with Destiny Rescue missionaries to Thailand, Dawn had told them she’d go on their next mission trip. They called to see if she’d be joining them on their October trip. Everything seemed to be coming together too fast! Unsure that this really was God’s plan, a fairly new friend invited Dawn to her home for the weekend to pray about it, even offering to go to Thailand with her. On Friday they checked airfare to Thailand — $1,500 each way for one person and $3,000 each, round trip. No way! Continued on page 20
Christian Living | September / October 2014 17
HUMAN Trafficking
The world’s oldest profession crime By Hilarey Johnson Jessica Howie already considered herself a discerning, educated mom when she first started to learn about human trafficking. Her friend, Sara Badgley, invested to bring the movie “Not Today” to a Boise cinema a year-and-a-half ago and Howie helped spread the word. As a result, Howie felt sensitive and even informed about the issue. But within a year, she discovered that a close family friend, a man she’d known for more than 20 years, had been arrested with intent to sell his daughter online. “We would have trusted him with our children,” Howie said. She described him as a loving, protective father. Though Howie said they don’t know all the details, he was apprehended with pornographic pictures of his female, minor child. She and her husband never suspected. “He was actively working toward being an advocate against child sexual abuse.” They were in shock, and at first, disbelief. Once she finally accepted that it was real, she said she felt like a fool. “How could I have been so blind? To have him in my home? To have any kind of relationship with him and not be able to see the signs?” Howie looked back to all the conversations — every interaction — trying to pinpoint anything that should have alerted them. “There was nothing specific.” But when she began talking to survivors of child abuse, “Then all of the sudden it became more clear.” Kim Peak, President of Idaho Coalition for Justice (ICJ), a Boise-based organization in place to support human traffic prevention and awareness groups, also draws parallels with traffic victims and domestic violence victims. She served on the board of Safe Place Ministries before she started ICJ more than two years ago. It may be useful to highlight the similarities of domestic violence/sexual abuse and those trapped in the sex trade. Detective Mike Miraglia, Boise Police Department Gang Unit, suggests changing the description “prostitute” to “abuse victim,” as a way to change the traditional paradigm: the way that we view sex workers. The police unit currently makes a distinction between prostitution and trafficking. “But it’s always evolving,” said Miraglia. He said this shift in our perception is needed because a great many men and women involved in the commercial sex industry do not want to be there. When there is force or coercion, the Boise organized crime unit handles it, but many units within the department work together. Even then, the resources are limited. You can draw the parallels, but Miraglia described hu- Photos courtesy Polaris Project
18 September / October 2014 | Christian Living
man trafficking cases as “A massive rape and domestic violence case on steroids.” Miraglia said Boise is just as vulnerable as every other city and he has seen commercial sex trafficking — both adult and juvenile — and labor trafficking here. “Since we started looking at this issue…we’ve had a continual caseload.” Miraglia pointed out, “We’ve had prostitution in Idaho since the founding of our state and before.” He also said, “Prostitution is not a victimless crime many times,” and believes that if prostitution is one of the world’s oldest professions, then human trafficking is one of the oldest crimes. Children are the most vulnerable because they are easily coerced, but Miraglia also said statistics show many adults were victims of similar crimes when they were children. The target age for commercial sex trafficking victims is 12-15 years old. Boys are targeted as well, and it can begin with a friend, member of the family, online or even at a library or a mall. Miraglia said to be wary when girls have a much older boyfriend. “They create an illusion, a dream for a better life then systematically separate them from their network.” He said the pimps use a similar technique as the military to isolate, break down, and then build the victim up. The exact numbers and scope are impossible to tell, partly due to the fact many are trafficked through Boise on the I-84 corridor, advertised over the Internet and gone from the area before it can be reported. But it is also because some victims will not admit they are forced because of fear that their abuser will punish them if they speak out. Sometimes, due to the nature of the duress and intimidation, they don’t even realize they are victims. Miraglia said victims often do not self-report in rape cases — much less in ongoing, forced coercion or sexual exploitation. Peak confirmed it would help track statistics if people called the national hotline: Polaris Project. The hotline is also beneficial if you have questions or you’re not sure if someone may be a victim of human trafficking. If you or someone you know is in danger, however, call 911. As part of the ICJ goals of connecting organizations currently fighting trafficking here and around the globe, they launched a smart phone app called TraffickStop. To further encourage Idahoans to become involved with “engaged awareness,” ICJ also hosts Treasure Valley Against Human Trafficking (TVAT) meetings regularly. This is good timing for what Miraglia believes would help: “A well educated populous to make informed jurors.”
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He’d also like to see the community pitch in for the social welfare of victims while enabling the police to keep in contact with them. For example: designated shelters in place, trained for short-term rescue of traffic victims, long-term approved safe houses, more medical facilities willing to assist, and a network set up to facilitate the process. Currently, the police department is trying to organize everything, but they don’t have the infrastructure required. Other needs would be support on the criminal justice level with judges trained to understand and, eventually, funding for a designated task force. Many people and organizations are beginning to work toward these goals, including Jim Staples. He is in the process of seeking funding to have a long-term safe house built in the Treasure Valley called Aslan Christian Academy. Nichole Hall from the State Department of Education (SDE) believes awareness and education are key. The SDE has created free training titled “Human Trafficking: Protecting Idaho’s Youth” for counselors and educators in the valley. She will come into any school and teach warning signs to faculty. Peak believes a goal would be to have every school in the Treasure Valley contacted about the training by May 2015. She would like to coordinate the master list of all schools reached. The next step: student awareness. When Howie thinks of the situation with their family friend, she also feels people must educate themselves. “I think we all wish it was really cut and dry — that we would just know.” She believes sometimes there aren’t obvious signs and said, “This is not something you want to be ignorant about.”
But she warns that you carefully inspect any organization you get behind, largely because of the false front her family friend portrayed: he had written a book for girls about sexual abuse and warning signs. Dawn Maglish from INsideOUT Salon, a nonprofit raising funds to fight injustices such as human trafficking, said, “Don’t just give your money to any organization, even people who have claimed to be human trafficking victims.” INsideOUT salon is very careful who they align themselves with because, “Only Christ can heal those wounds,” stated Maglish. Howie also prays for the abusers and those trapped in sexual bondage, because she believes protecting the victims will not stop the issue. “Sexual sin and addiction is a stronghold in so many people’s lives. It is very hidden, and that’s why it’s so dangerous.” She said the need is a societal change. This societal change and shifting the paradigm regarding abusers, victims, and ourselves is the next step. Because what we ignore, what we tolerate, and what we eradicate will shape our community. n Hilarey Johnson is a freelance writer living in Meridian. She tends to an urban garden complete with chickens and teaches martial arts with her husband and children. She blogs infrequently at Hilarey.com. Her first novel, “Sovereign Ground,” was recently released to good reviews. Described as “A Young Adult Novel of Redemption,” it is available on Amazon for both Kindle and print copies.
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Christian Living | September / October 2014 19
INsideOUT Salon Continue from page 17
Neither of them had that kind of money, so they asked the Lord to make it clear if they were to go, and decided they would wait and check ticket prices again on Sunday. If the prices dropped they would know it was what God wanted them to do. Following a weekend of prayer, and fasting, Sunday came and it was time to check airfare — $900 round trip per person. They were going to Thailand! But Dawn still needed to decide whether or not to open the salon. The offer for the location was still on the table; it was Dawn’s if she wanted it. It was then that Cameron Cordova of Cordova Construction Inc. heard about her vision to help fund Destiny Rescue and offered to donate the construction on the building, because he believed in what God could do through Dawn in the fight against human trafficking. Still unsure if this was indeed God’s call on her life, she sent a modified proposal to the landlord. Within 24 hours the landlord gave his approval. Demolition on the building started the Saturday before Dawn and her friend left for Thailand — from vision to fruition in mere months. When Dawn and her friend went to Thailand, they learned firsthand that when you work with human trafficking it’s like the darkest of places, sexual abuse — absolutely Satan’s playground. While there Dawn worked for a week in the cosmetology program at the salon where the girls learn a viable occupation. Then they went to Cambodia to see the rescue mission, visited the brothel areas. In one square mile there are approximately 30,000 brothels. This made everything — her vision, God’s plan for her life — “super real!” Tony Kirwan, founder of Destiny Rescue, has a motto: How hard would you want me to fight for your daughter? And he lives it. When you sponsor a child through Destiny Rescue, 100 percent of the money goes to that child. There are no administration fees, and any people on staff who are not Thai nationals are missionaries who are not paid to be there, but who go willingly, so all donations go directly to the children. In one Thai salon Dawn asked to use the restroom, and in the back of the building there was a sign that said, “No Sex Here,” like it was an option on a menu. She knew she couldn’t send the girls out to work in a salon where that’s an option. Just one more confirmation that INsideOUT Salon was to indeed be Dawn’s mission. Upon her return from Thailand, Dawn found that Cordova had completed the construction on the salon and it was beautiful. New floors, countertops, and walls removed were just some of what he and his crew had done. Everything was fresh and new. She was ready to begin. The stylists at INsideOUT Salon all come from different churches throughout the Treasure Valley and have taken courses on human trafficking to learn how to deal with victims and understand their situations — to love on the victims and their families. Less than a year ago they started working with the Internet Crimes Against Children Coalition because pornography fuels the sex industry and child pornography is rampant, even in Idaho. 20 September / October 2014 | Christian Living
INsideOUT wants to touch the lives closest to us so they can touch the lives closest to them. These are the organizations we support and pray that the Ripple Effect will continue. Every precious drop of change has a ripple effect on the ocean…
Local Ripple Idaho Internet Crimes Against Children Coalition: iicaccoalition.org National Ripple The Genesis Project Seattle: gpseattle.net
International Ripple Destiny Rescue: destinyrescue.org/us
The salon offers a safe place where the clients know they are cared for and about, where they can tell of the abuse they’ve suffered, even helping the families of missing children by treating them to a day of pampering so they feel better about themselves. Dawn said, “It’s a daily work, but I feel it’s what God has called us to do.” On her Facebook page, she’s been known to say, “There is no rest — I’ll rest when I get to heaven.” Her passion and compassion are obvious. Although it’s always been operated as a non-profit, Dawn has refrained from doing a big fundraiser until its 501(c)(3) status was official (which it was earlier this spring). To celebrate its third anniversary, on November 1, INsideOUT Salon is hosting its first family fun run: the INsideOUT Run, from Eagle to Boise Bible College. It will end with brunch, raffles, gifts to the winners, and participants will have the opportunity to hear testimonials about the staff ’s recent trip to Thailand, their experiences and the work they did while there. Dawn says that INsideOUT Salon is “just a salon, but it’s an avenue to help others.” She and her staff get to have fun and make people feel beautiful (the way God would want them to feel). She admits it’s been “pretty amazing.” INsideOUT Salon has five stylists and is currently expanding into another section of the building. It may just be a little salon in Eagle, Idaho, but the effect and impact it has can change the whole world. n INsideOUT also holds a RePurpose Your Shoes program. Anyone who has shoes that are too big, too small, gently used or new, flats, heels or hiking boots may bring them into the salon at 591 E. State St. in Eagle. Bring a bag of shoes (25 pairs) and get a free haircut. Call 695-7821 for an appointment or more information, or visit insideoutsalonandspa.org.
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Human Trafficking: more information Important links:
• Idaho Coalition for Justice (ICJ) list of human trafficking awareness and prevention organizations currently working in the Treasure Valley: http://icjustice.org/coalition-members.html • National Human Trafficking Hotline, Education, Statistics and Survivor Stories – Polaris Project: http://www.polarisproject.org/ • International Justice Mission: http://www.ijm.org/ • Aslan Christian Academy: http://www.aslanacademy.org/
Help for victims:
If you are a victim of human trafficking and need immediate help, or if you suspect a potential trafficking situation, call the National Human Trafficking Resource Center Hotline at 1-888-373-7888, text INFO or HELP to BeFree (233733), or email nhtrc@polarisproject.org anonymously and 24/7. If you are in danger or need immediate medical attention, please call 911. Photo courtesy Polaris Project www.polarisproject.org
What you can do right now:
Sex-trade and human traffic fiction by local authors:
(Spread awareness and a portion of September proceeds from these books will benefit ICJ) Winds of Freedom by Becky Lyles The Earth is Full by B. D. Riehl Sovereign Ground by Hilarey Johnson
9-2014
1. Pray for victims and those trapped in sexual bondage. 2. Educate yourself by visiting some of the “Important Links.” 3. Download the new app “TraffickStop” and visit http://icjustice.org to learn how to “Be the change.” 4. Visit http://www.sde.idaho.gov/site/safe_drugfree.ht/ and scroll down to the parents’ section to download the State Department of Education letter you can take to your principal containing information about the free training available to counselors and educators. 5. Attend a Treasure Valley Against Human Trafficking (TVAT) meeting. Get more info by emailing bethechange@icjustice.org.
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Christian Living | September / October 2014 21
OUTDOORS With Dougherty
Idaho’s wonders: huckleberries and bears few occasions have I seen any bears, and By Dan Doughterty just for a moment as they quickly exited. It Idaho is a beautiful state. If you haven’t is not uncommon to see their scat. If it is had the chance to travel its great expanse, fresh you better be looking around. take some time and treat yourself. Its topogIn mentioning bears we had one steal raphy is varied and includes alpine lakes, our cooler off the back deck of the cabin verdant forests and meadows, manicured this summer. He took it 30 yards from farmland, arid sagebrush deserts, fertile river the cabin before he tore into it. He ate valleys, and natural wonders like Craters of two pounds of hamburger, a half pound the Moon and Shoshone Falls. It is popuof chicken tenders, three containers of lated by hundreds of thriving towns from yogurt, a package of breakfast sausage, five the ones so small they lack a single stoplight bottles of green tea, half gallon of milk, to the ever-growing metropolitan area of and sucked all the ketchup out of a full the Boise Valley. I am proud to be a citizen bottle. The only thing he did not eat was of this great state and the opportunity it Dougherty is a retired a zip-lock bag of dill pickles. He carried gives me to enjoy the activities its landscape Dan school teacher. off a carton of eggs, but dropped it at the provides. fence. The 10 that weren’t broken we had As the heat of the summer sweeps across the for breakfast. He also ate three Idaho Spud candy bars. valley I like to spend time in the mountains. One of my favorite activities is picking huckleberries, the official state They must have been his favorite. One of the wrappers was just 10 yards from the cabin. We decided if we ever fruit of Idaho. For many that is hard to believe because planned to bear hunt we could go to the Idaho Candy those little berries can be hard to find, and it takes much Company in Boise and buy a couple of boxes for baiting time to pick a sufficient amount. The depth of the snow them. pack and timing of the melt off can be the difference I introduced two of my grandkids, Emma and Daniel, from great abundance to almost nothing at all. to huckleberry picking on our last trip. I was proud of We were greatly surprised this year. When going out early to see if we could find a few for some morning pan- their agreeable natures and dedication to picking. The huckleberry pancakes the next morning for breakfast cakes, we found bushes loaded with many ripe berries. helped promote a new generation of pickers. We picked a nice amount in fairly short order compared If you are interested in picking some huckleberries, we to most picking experiences. A revisit a week ago was also pick most of ours just outside of McCall. If you really successful, with many green berries showing promise for want to travel, the most prolific area we ever found for later picking. abundance and size is in the mountains above the town What do you know about huckleberries? I know I have of Clearwater near Lytle Cow Camp. Good picking! n a few in my morning protein shake every day after hearing Doctor Oz extolling their virtues. Have you ever wondered in listening to Bible stories of the Garden of Eden about the Tree of Life? Wouldn’t it be great to find it? Just think of the possibilities! Well, it isn’t the huckleberry because it’s a bush. I did find out some interesting information on the Internet at “Huckleberry Wild.” Let me list a few of the facts I found. Huckleberries are not grown commercially because it takes up to 15 years for them to reach maturity. They grow wild in the western United States and Canada at elevations of 2,000 to 11,000 feet in acidic mountain soil. One serving of wild huckleberries has more antioxidant power than any other fruit or vegetable. Their antioxidant qualities help prevent premature aging, cancer, and urinary tract infections. Huckleberries help prevent eye disease, heart disease, and improve the immune system. They promote insulin production and help manage type 2 diabetes. Many more benefits are listed on-line. One of the possible hazards of picking huckleberries is the presence of bears. When I was a young child, my granddad used to tell me bedtime stories. I heard many Two of the Dougherty grandchildren, 10-year-old Daniel and 12-year-old Emma, stories involving both bears and huckleberries. Only on a were recently initiated into the joys of huckleberry picking. (Courtesy photo) 22 September / October 2014 | Christian Living
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Power, peace from passionate prayer By Dan Woodworth What is the first feeling you experience when you hear the word “prayer?” If you are like most people you feel “duty” or “obligation,” or picture eating broccoli or some other food that you didn’t enjoy as a child. Let’s take an adventurous journey together. The key to passionate powerful prayer is falling in love with our Living Lord in a deeper spiritual, emotional and romantic relationship. The captivating conversations you will experience will be beyond belief ! One of the best ways to get to know Him intimately is to ask Him and thank Him for revealing Himself to you as you open the Bible in Matthew. Ask Him and thank Him for walking out of the pages of the Bible and into your life — transforming you into His very own image in ever increasing splendor. Look and live in Matthew 4:23-25 in the New International Version (NIV) of the Bible: Jesus went throughout Galilee, teaching in their synagogues, proclaiming the good news of the kingdom, and healing every disease and sickness among the people. News about him spread all over Syria, and people brought to him all who were ill with various diseases, those suffering severe pain, the demonpossessed, those having seizures, and the paralyzed; and he healed them. Large crowds from Galilee, the Decapolis, Jerusalem, Judea and the region across the Jordan followed him. In this section of Scripture our Living Loving Lord is speaking to us very clearly and concisely. He is saying, “I love you and others and my deepest desire is to heal you and them by transforming all hurt into healing and hope and pain into peace and power.” How do we know? Hear our Living Lord in Hebrews 13:8 in the New American Standard (NASB) Bible: Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever. In other words, what He did 2,000 years ago when He walked on this earth He is still doing today. If He healed people back
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then, He is still healing people today. He is not a respecter of persons (Acts 10:34). What He did for the leper in Matthew 8:1-4 (The Message) He will do for you and me: Jesus came down the mountain with the cheers of the crowd still ringing in his ears. Then a leper appeared and went to his knees before Jesus, praying, “Master, if you want to, you can heal my body.” Jesus reached out and touched him, saying, “I want to. Be clean.” Then and there, all signs of the leprosy were gone. Jesus said, “Don’t talk about this all over town. Just quietly present your healed body to the priest, along with the appropriate expressions of thanks to God. Your cleansed and grateful life, not your words, will bear witness to what I have done.” So we see that our Living Lord wants to heal us and make us whole. Now that is Good News! So when we pray (having a captivating conversation with Christ), we can be assured that He has our best interests in His heart and mind for you and for me. Psalm 37:4 dramatically declares that if we delight ourselves in Him, He will give us the desires of our hearts. When we pray we need to start by praising Him and thanking Him for who He is and who He created us to be. I have encountered five near-death experiences. Without passionate prayer from me and other prayer warriors, especially my longtime mentor, the late evangelist Ann Wright, and my Most Beautiful Beloved Bride, Irene, I would not be alive today. Our Living Lord deeply desires for us to know in the deepest depths of our hearts that He loves us and He has His Best plans for us! See in the Spirit in Jeremiah 29:11-14 in The Message: I know what I’m doing. I have it all planned out — plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for. When you call on me, when you come and pray to me, I’ll listen. When you come looking for me, you’ll find me. Yes, when you get serious about finding me and want it more than anything else, I’ll make sure you won’t be disappointed.” God’s Decree.
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Ask Him and thank Him for revealing to you what He wants you to think, speak and feel about any situation you may be facing. Hear His voice in Philippians 4:4-9 in The Message: Celebrate God all day, every day. I mean, revel in him! Make it as clear as you can to all you meet that you’re on their side, working with them and not against them. Help them see Woodworth, Ph.D., is an adviser, author that the Master is about Dan and inspirational speaker. He is well known to arrive. He could show for his uplifting messages, and in his own life up any minute! Don’t has overcome illness to become what he calls “a healthy and happy man.” He has worked fret or worry. Instead as a fisheries research biologist, consultant, of worrying, pray. Let teacher, counselor, real estate property manager, petitions and praises ordained pastor and chaplain. He may be shape your worries into reached at dan@danwoodworth.org. For more prayers, letting God information visit www.danwoodworth.org. know your concerns. Before you know it, a sense of God’s wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down. It’s wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the center of your life. Summing it all up, friends, I’d say you’ll do best by filling your minds and meditating on things true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious — the best, not the worst; the beautiful, not the ugly; things to praise, not things to curse. Put into practice what you learned from me, what you heard and saw and realized. Do that, and God, who makes everything work together, will work you into his most excellent harmonies. We must know in our subconscious minds that He is not angry with us. Allow His Living Words to transform all fear into fulfillment. Hear His Loving Words in 1 John 5:13-15 in The Message: My purpose in writing is simply this: that you who believe in God’s Son will know beyond the shadow of a doubt that you have eternal life, the reality and not the illusion. And how bold and free we then become in his presence, freely asking according to his will, sure that he’s listening. And if we’re confident that he’s listening, we know that what we’ve asked for is as good as ours. If you are not passionate to pray, I want you to ask and thank our Living Loving Lord to place a deep, deep hunger from Him into the deepest depths of your heart to pray. Let’s pray together... Lord, we ask You and we thank You for drawing us closer and closer to You. We ask You and we thank You for placing Your hunger in us to pray and to think and to speak and act the way Jesus, Peter, Stephen, Philip and Paul did in the Gospels and the book of Acts with Your Passion, Peace and Power! n
Christian Living | September / October 2014 25
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Historically God has protected Israel over and over again. While reading the article I began to think how God protects all of His people, Jew and Gentile, in ways that we never know. A few key verses come to mind: Psalm 91:1-3 — He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will abide in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say to the LORD, “My refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust.” For he will deliver you from the snare of the fowler and from the deadly pestilence. Isaiah 54:17 — No weapon that is fashioned against you shall succeed, and you shall refute every tongue that rises against you in judgment. This is the heritage of the servants of the LORD and their vindication from me, declares the LORD and, Isaiah 41:10 — So fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. God’s mighty hand diverts many rockets in each of our lives. He is constantly steering us out of harm’s way. His omniscience precisely calculates the enemy’s trajectory and weaponry. Nothing takes God by surprise. God is our perfect Iron Dome. Daniel 4:35 tells us that: “All the inhabitants of the earth are accounted as nothing, but He does according to His will in the host of heaven and among the inhabitants of earth; no one can ward off His hand or say to Him, ‘What have You done?’” As we read the headlines of the world, we may often wonder if God has all things under control. Sometimes it may seem like God is absent, bored, or possibly even dead. We also may think that God may care about the big things but not little people like us. We couldn’t be more mistaken. God cares beyond comprehension. Luke 12:7 states: “Indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Do not fear; you are more valuable than many sparrows.” We must trust the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob to be our fortress, our protector. When the enemy attacks, we can trust that He will be the mighty wind coming from the east…a strong wind that will send the enemy’s missiles into the sea. We cannot outrun His hand of protection. He is our eternal Iron Dome. n Brian Raymond is a licensed clinical social worker specializing in Nouthetic/Biblical counseling. In January 2010 he was the co-founder of Christian Clinical Concepts, LLC in Nampa. He is currently in private practice at Christian Clinical Concepts. He may be contacted at (208) 475-1875 Monday through Friday.
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By Brian Raymond As I awaken this morning to the news headlines, one in particular stands out among all of the others: ‘HAND OF GOD SENT MISSILE INTO SEA.’ IRON DOME OPERATOR: ‘I WITNESSED THIS MIRACLE WITH MY OWN EYES.’ This article was published in the August 6, 2014 edition of “World Net Daily.” The headline itself sounds remarkable; the story is even more amazing. You may ask yourself, what is the Iron Dome? According to Wikipedia, the Iron Dome is “a mobile all-weather air defense system developed by Rafael Advanced Defense Systems. The system is designed to intercept and destroy short-range rockets and artillery shells fired from distances of 4 kilometers (2.5 mi) to 70 kilometers (43 mi) away and whose trajectory would take them to a populated area. Iron Dome was declared operational and initially deployed on March 27, 2011 near Beersheba. On April 7, 2011, the system successfully intercepted a Grad rocket launched from Gaza for the first time.” According to the WND article: “More claims of divine intervention are being reported in the ongoing conflict between Israel and Hamas, with an operator of Israel’s Iron Dome missile-defense system saying he personally witnessed ‘the hand of God’ diverting an incoming rocket out of harm’s way. Today a report was translated from a Hebrew-language news site, which noted the Iron Dome battery failed three times to intercept an incoming rocket headed toward Tel Aviv last week. “The commander recalled: ‘A missile was fired from Gaza. Iron Dome precisely calculated [its trajectory]. We know where these missiles are going to land down to a radius of 200 meters. This particular missile was going to hit either the Azrieli Towers, the Kirya (Israel’s equivalent of the Pentagon) or (a central Tel Aviv railway station). Hundreds could have died. We fired the first (interceptor). It missed. Second (interceptor). It missed. This is very rare. I was in shock. At this point we had just four seconds until the missile lands. We had already notified emergency services to converge on the target location and had warned of a masscasualty incident. Suddenly, Iron Dome (which calculates wind speeds, among other things) shows a major wind coming from the east, a strong wind that … sends the missile into the sea. We were all stunned. I stood up and shouted, THERE IS A GOD! I witnessed this miracle with my own eyes. It was not told or reported to me. I saw the hand of God send that missile into the sea.’”
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NOTES From Home
I’m so fancy (lip gloss and all)
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leftover mashed potatoes (causing me to reflect on whether or not rich people get doggy-bags… is that a poor person thing to do?), but my potato-loving dad sure appreciated the gesture. And yeah, it’s true that I had to ask what a pink peppercorn was when I saw it listed as an ice cream flavor, but I could tell the server didn’t really know either. But I didn’t trip on the way out, I didn’t shame the Grigg name with excessive food intake and I mostly kept my mouth closed while I chewed. My shirt even made it out sauce-free. I admit, I wasn’t totally smooth with keeping up the conversation while the server refilled our glasses or cleared our plates – those situations are just too full of pressure for me to ever perform up to my potential – but I gave it my best try, and altogether, I think I passed as someone for whom wearing lip gloss was not a big deal. I’m sure nobody thought I had quite reached the regular-lipstick-wearer level, but I’ll take what I can get. When we got to the car, my husband and I overrode the odd pink peppercorn ice cream aftertaste with a few good old fruit-flavored Tootsie Rolls and headed off to reclaim our little boys from their grandparents. Next year we’ll mark the ninth anniversary of the day we founded our family, and when it comes time to select which restaurant will be lucky enough to deliver food to our table, I think “fancy” will take a backseat to “awesome.” Maybe the mayor won’t be there to unknowingly celebrate with us, but hopefully the water choices will be a little less intimidating. n
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By Dani Grigg Eight years ago last month, I slapped a plastic wedding couple on top of a three-tiered white cake and my husband and I celebrated our new marriage at a farm filled with cows, flowers and all our family and friends. The cows were looking on from a respectable distance. It was a wonderful day. Every July 22 since then, we’ve commemorated that day by eating food —not necessarily cows. Sometimes we add a non-food element to the celebration, like taking a little trip or going to a play, but let’s be honest. The main event is always the food. This year we went to one of the fancier restaurants in Boise. We knew we had picked the right place when we walked in and glimpsed THE MAYOR on the other side of the room. We’d scored an invitation to his ball several months before that (impressing the heck out of all our friends, obviously), but for some reason he didn’t show any sign of remembering us. That’s okay, Mayor. I’m sure you would have recognized me if I’d put back on my sparkly hair clip. Don’t worry. We kept it classy and left him alone. The imaginary high-five my husband and I gave each other when we saw we’d chosen the same restaurant as Boise royalty turned a little less enthusiastic when I realized what came along with that choice. The hostess brought out two bottles of water – one sparkling, the other not – and asked us what kind of water we wanted. We selected the third option – classic tap. I’m not totally sure I belong in fancy restaurants. For one thing, I don’t wear lipstick. For another, I’m 20 times more likely to buy an outfit at Old Navy than at Banana Republic. But it was our anniversary, darn it, so I’d tracked down some lip gloss and put on a skirt from GAP Outlet and walked in as if I owned the place – or at least as if I had left my purse in there earlier. I pulled it off. Sure, I spilled some berries from the appetizer on the tablecloth, but adjusting my plate position solved that problem just fine. And sure, I requested a box for my
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Christian Living | September / October 2014 27
3 OAKS Ministry
Asking the community to take a risk By Gaye Bunderson Boyd Chikatulah, chief executive officer of 3 Oaks Ministries, challenges Idahoans to be willing to take a risk, a risk that involves a former prisoner. Open your places of business and open your hearts to someone transitioning from a life behind bars to a life on the outside. “When prisoners get out of prison,” Chikatulah said, “we tell them ‘get a job, do this, do that.’ If we want to see positive transition, the community has to be involved. The community has a responsibility to provide avenues and opportunities for successful transition.” An estimated 80 percent of inmates will walk out of prison someday, according to Chikatulah. It’s essential to help those people avoid reverting back to a life of crime and returning to the penal system. “One of the number one things 3 Oaks has to do is prepare the community to be more receptive, to change their mindset. The community can play a part in the reduction of recidivism,” Chikatulah said. Not everyone in prison is violent, he said, explaining that less than 5 percent of prisoners are serving time for violent crimes. However, the ministry CEO does use the word “risk” when asking employers to step up and hire an ex-convict, whatever offense put him or her behind bars. “I tell them the truth — there is a risk. But I also tell them, ‘It is a risk, but I’m putting my name on it,’” said Chikatulah, who has a background in both law enforcement and prison chaplaincy. “Give them an opportunity. … God uses opportunities to change lives and hearts.” Chikatulah is currently working with 10 to 12 employers who have agreed to open their doors to former prisoners. He said he may speak to a roomful of 100
people and only one will step up and get involved. But he is encouraged by that, he said, because one person can make such a big difference. 3 Oaks Ministries used to be called Three Oaks Life Transformation Center. The change was made in order to put the focus on God. “(With the old name) it sounded like we were fixing people, but it’s actually God who is working in the hearts of men,” Chikatulah said. The ministry also serves women and juveniles; with both genders and all ages, the concept works the same: help provide for their needs. “We have a juvenile transitional fund. When kids get out (of juvenile correctional facilities), they have no clothes, so we help them get a gift card to Walmart. We also help align them with churches and other organizations. If a kid needs a Bible, we ask someone to help provide one,” he said. Asked if the younger people are easier to deal with, or easier to reach with a message of faith, he replied: “No, the juveniles still have protective walls. With people in prison, their hearts are broken. Most of them have been through so much. They’ve trusted people. ... Many of these prisoners know they did wrong, and they want a second chance.” In 2011, 3 Oaks Ministries was given a contract with the Idaho Department of Correction to provide oversight of all religious services — including non-Christian ones — in the state’s juvenile and adult correctional facilities. 3 Oaks works with offenders to meet their religious needs and coordinates all volunteer activities within the statewide prison system. “We work with 300 volunteers from all different ministries,” Chikatulah said.
Boyd Chikatulah is chief executive officer of 3 Oaks Ministries. (Photo by Gaye Bunderson)
That may include, among other things, educational services such as helping inmates learn to read and write or obtain a GED, counseling services, or spiritual support. It also sometimes entails working with a prisoner who has spent the past 20 years behind bars and helping prepare him to re-enter a world of new realities. “God has placed us as watchmen from all walks of life to share with the incarcerated,” Chikatulah said. “There are many good volunteers in the valley. They’ve been doing this for 30 to 40 years, every week.” Chikatulah presents the idea we’ve all been prisoners of some sort during our lives — prisoners to problems or guilt or poor health. “God is asking us to stand up and be involved, to realize: ‘I’ve never been to prison myself, but God has freed me from something,’” he said. n
See the November/December edition of Christian Living for more stories on prison ministries in the valley.
28 September / October 2014 | Christian Living
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found us quietly, eagerly By Joel Lund longing for something Ten years ago our family more, an adventure beyond began an adventure of the world that we knew. epic scale. At least, it felt Sight unseen, we packed like it. A job promotion up and moved to a comtook us away from family, munity we’d never visited. friends of many years in a We didn’t know anyone community that we really there. The new job carried liked, and moved us to a big increase in responanother state. Of course, sibilities. And way more this isn’t much of a unique potential for failure. story. Lots of people take We took a deep breath. this adventurous road. And we went. Some make it a habit. But not at the same time. For us, though, the opIn Joel Lund’s former career, he was I went first. For many portunity felt sort of like weeks I “lived” at a hotel Gandalf had come knock- an award-winning field leader in the financial services industry. He’s with extended-stay options. ing on our round, hobbit happier now as a certified execudoor. Except it wasn’t round. tive and business coach, author and Most of my time was spent And our house wasn’t speaker. He finds daily challenges to studying for the Series 24, a much like a hobbit hole. his faith while helping others answer securities test I had to pass. Without the licensing it In fact, our house was a their own; visit him at would bring, there’d be no single-wide “mobile home” PrepareForRain.com. promotion. Everything was that wasn’t mobile in any at stake. My former position was already way. We’d lived there as a young family someone else’s. The pass rate for the 24 usually does in their first home, fixing up was miserable. When it came time for me everything that needed it — which was to take it, the test facility’s heating system most everything. Since it really needed the wasn’t working. It was below freezing outexterior painted, we got creative and used side and about 50 degrees inside. I hadn’t a four-color theme based on…chocolate: brought a coat. Awesome. white chocolate, regular chocolate and dark chocolate. The bonus color: cherry chocolate. That was then, this is now Still, it was home. A good home. Our Things worked out. I passed the test, behome. Lots of homey things happened gan the new role, stuck with it eight years there. Lots of love. and found success along the way. Some personal. Some professional. Enough to answer a new challenge: the opportunity to Answer the door! begin our own company, Prepare For Rain! But our single-wide also housed unrest. Ten years later, we’re older (surprise!). Unmet dreams. Frustration with our finanHopefully wiser. Certainly heavier. cial position. We felt cramped. You see, it Yet none of the adventure, or the opwas small. Single-wides are only about 900 portunity it brought along, would have square feet, max. Ours was even smaller come to us if we hadn’t answered the door. than that. Other opportunity could have come, sure. Even so, just as Bilbo wasn’t thrilled at But not the opportunity that did. Because first about the prospect of heading into when opportunity knocked, we answered the unknown, we had our own feet-dragthe door. ging to do. Relocating ranks fairly low on Still, I miss our single-wide. It’s where we a stress-test, but when you account for all launched an awesome adventure. I guess the other stressors that come along for the it must be true: chocolate is good for you, ride, it represents massive change. Movafter all. And we’re pretty sure Gandalf left ing would be very disruptive. Changing schools, mid-year. Figuring out new streets. that scratch on the door. n Making new friends. Finding new doctors. What’s your story? How has opportunity come All new, all of it. knocking in your life? Did you jump at the chance? And yet…cramped. Dreams. Unmet. Or hesitate a bit? Is opportunity knocking now? When opportunity came knocking, it What’s your response?
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Opportunity knocked… or was that Gandalf ?
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Christian Living | September / October 2014 29
CHRYSALIS Transitional Living
Helping courageous women make changes
Tammie Kramer, left, is director of marketing at Chrysalis and Susie Moloney, right, is house manager at one of the program’s four houses for women in recovery. Moloney is a former resident who works to set a good example for tenants. Moloney’s testimony can be found at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fdFet0zdkq8. (Photo by Gaye Bunderson)
By Gaye Bunderson Marsha Tennyson, founder and executive director of Chrysalis, a program that helps empower females released from prison, wants everyone to know that women in the process of improving their lives are in no way dissimilar from others in the community. “They’re like you and I; they’re no different. They’ve been abused, and they’re trying to deal with it,” she said. Unfortunately, until they turn their lives around, they deal with their problems through sex, drugs, alcohol, gambling, anorexia and bulimia. Generally, for most of the women, ending up in prison means they’ve reached rock bottom; there’s no further down they can go. “If they don’t get help, nothing is going to be different,” Tennyson said. “A 21-year-old once told me, ‘I thought I was going to be a junky-dealer all my life.’ We’re helping them understand God created them with gifts and talents, and they have so much promise. They’re very courageous. They’re tackling a life of loss and pain. They’ve lost their childhoods, their children, their integrity.” The program at Chrysalis is billed as “transitional living,” and Tennyson stresses that though the women reside at the Chrysalis facilities, it’s not a housing program. It’s about making lifestyle changes in an environment that is safe, loving and Christian.
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But it’s not easy. Some of the women, after leaving Chrysalis, end up back in jail or prison and then back at Chrysalis when they’re released. “Sometimes they come back after messing up,” Tennyson said. “It presents an opportunity for us to say, ‘Sure we’ll give you another chance.’ Sometimes it does take a long time.” If there are two non-negotiable attributes for working with people who’ve reached rock bottom, they’d be Herculean patience and mountainous compassion. Tennyson tells the story of a woman who left and came back for a third time until, finally, she understood that God could heal her. “God sees the possibilities; He sees the inside. We encourage, inspire and guide. Let people have their own experience in their own time,” said Tennyson. Chrysalis director of marketing, Tammie Kramer, said, “Sometimes the women don’t think they’re lovable.” Because they haven’t been loved much in their lives, opening up to others is difficult, no matter how kind Tennyson and the volunteers at Chrysalis may be. But being honest with them is also essential. “You have to tell them the truth. They know how to manipulate and lie. Most people in their lives haven’t been trustworthy. It’s hard to trust God when you can’t trust a person. I try to be that person,” Tennyson said. She was first exposed to this kind of work growing up in Los Angeles, where her father, Marshall Holsinger, did Skid Row mission work. He worked with men, and there was no one to help women who struggled with homelessness, addiction, prostitution and other unhealthy lifestyles. At one point, Tennyson said, God asked her, “Would you be willing to go down there?” and she eventually set up a place where the women could shower, get new clothing and hygiene products. “They went in ratty tatty but came out smelling clean, with good clothing,” she said. She later opened a facility called Garden Gate in L.A., while her father worked at the Los Angeles Mission. Tennyson came to Boise a number of years back and after working and starting other local programs, launched Chrysalis 14 years ago. “I didn’t want the women to be enclosed. Our program is an open program where women are allowed to fail, to live life on life’s terms,” Tennyson said, acknowledging that failing is an integral part of all human experience. “You can’t make someone do something. They have to learn.” The live-ins at Chrysalis give one another emotional support. There’s a profound sense of community there among people who are grappling with the same demons. The vast majority of the women come from highly dysfunctional homes and witnessed firsthand the culture of addiction at very young ages. The Chrysalis women see one another as family, and hold one another accountable. They go out to attend AA and other meetings, then return to Chrysalis. They work full time, and when they are able, they pay $350 a month to stay there. They attend life skills classes and are required to do chores, as well as give back to the community.
www.boisechristianliving.com
House needed Though it is an open environment, Tennyson said there is structure and accountability. Presently, Chrysalis has four homes with a total of 33 beds in all. There is a waiting list to get in, and Chrysalis frequently has to turn people away. Kramer said the small paid staff and its volunteers are working on a 2020 expansion project, with help from community and church donations. Common Ground Biker Church in Meridian recently presented Chrysalis with a check for $4,000. Chrysalis also holds fundraising golf tournaments and bowla-thons. Women come from the Ada and Canyon County jails, as well as the South Boise Women’s Correctional Center and the East Boise Community Work Center. Their ages are generally 20 to 40, but there have been younger and older women in the program. The heart-changing objectives of Chrysalis are a shared goal for all who work or volunteer there. “We represent Christ the very best we can,” Tennyson said. n Chrysalis is defined as “a cocoon to protect someone who is still developing,” according to the website at chrysaliswomenidaho.org. More information about the program is available on the website or by going to facebook.com/chrysaliswomenidaho. Chrysalis encourages people to “like” its Facebook page and stay updated on events.
www.boisechristianliving.com
The beds are cozy and the rooms are tidy at Chrysalis Women’s Transitional Living facilities in Boise. (Photo by Gaye Bunderson)
Chrysalis Women’s Transitional Living is in need of another house. “We are changing lives in your community: women in recovery who are learning to trust God,” Tammie Kramer, Chrysalis director of marketing, said. “We’re growing with four homes that are full, over 30 women in our program, and a waiting list for more women who have applied. Over the last 10 years, Chrysalis has developed a good reputation with property owners who understand our program and want to support our mission. “We have high living standards for our residents and take good care of our homes. Our need is for a spacious residence that has four or more bedrooms; it must be on the Boise bus route.” Call Kramer or the Chrysalis office at 869-5594 or 424-3233 if you own, or might consider purchasing, a home to lease to Chrysalis.
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