CHOOSING to Love
‘Don’t get mad, get even’ not biblical By Daniel Bobinski Note: In March of 2020 I decided to use this space to focus on God’s greatest command. If you’re connecting with this series for the first time and would like to read the earlier columns on this topic, I encourage you to visit Christian Living’s website to read the whole series. Visit https://www.christianlivingmag.com/columns/
him. Second, an examination of the Greek shows that the word, as used, means, “no longer cares for.” Paul is not saying he’s wiped his memory of what’s behind him – he’s saying he no longer cares for it.
Synthesizing the KJV and NIV
The KJV and NKJV translate our agape phrase in question as “Thinks no evil,” and the NIV says, “Keeps no record of wrongs.” Both of When I sat down to study agape love 30 years these are close, they just need a little help. ago, I didn’t have the internet. My main tools The key to successfully understanding this were my Word Study New Testament by Spiros amazing – and freeing – phrase of Scripture Zodhiates and his corresponding Word Study comes from realizing that the verb (logizomai Dictionary, which I viewed as a concordance – which is translated “Thinks” and “Keeps no on steroids. Zodhiates was a Greek-American record”) is being used with a future connotaBible scholar, and his work opened my eyes to Daniel Bobinski tion. In other words, it’s not about forgetting of the depth of the original language. (This is why wrongs done to us by others in the past, it’s about us choosing www.BlueLetterBible.org is one of my favorite websites today.) to NOT do evil to others in the future. I have been eagerly awaiting the chance to discuss this Consider the KJV this way: I will not think of how I intend to month’s phrase, “Love thinks no evil” (NKJV), because it’s do evil to you. only when one digs into the original language that one finds Consider the NIV this way: I will not keep a record (a list) of the true meaning of this phrase. As you will see, if we rely how I intend to do you wrong. only on English translations, this phrase is easily misunderYou’ve heard the phrase, “I don’t get mad, I get even”? It’s stood. Sadly, as a result, it has been mistaught at thousands not scriptural in the least! Plotting a way to get even with upon thousands of pulpits, causing much unnecessary grief in someone for doing you wrong is NOT living a life of agape people’s lives. To explain, let me share the various ways this phrase is trans- love. This perspective totally aligns with Romans 12:19, which lated: “Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for says, • KJV/NKJV: Thinks no evil God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” • NIV: Keeps no record of wrongs says the Lord. • NLT: Keeps no record of being wronged Allow me also to point to Christ’s teaching in Matthew 5:44, • NASB: Keeps no account of a wrong suffered which ways, “But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those • Amplified: Does not take into account a wrong endured Remember that when one sees an italicized word in a transla- who persecute you.” And yes, the word for love used by Jesus in that verse is agtion, it’s a supposition by the translators to try to add clarity. apao. Sometimes they help, but in these cases, the translators missed By stepping back and looking at this phrase with its future the boat. In fact, three of the translations shown above are not connotation, everything lines up. I am free to forgive someone accurate. Let me explain. and trust that God will exact whatever revenge He sees fit, Often from the pulpit we hear that we are supposed to not whenever He sees fit, and to the extent that He sees fit – if He keep a record of how people have wronged us, that we should sees fit to do it at all. Conversely, if I start plotting and schem“forgive and forget.” By all means, we are to forgive others. Scripture is abundant- ing a way to “get even” with someone, that is NOT living a life ly clear about that, and I can give you personal testimony after of agape love. Let me take a moment here to say that forgiveness and personal testimony on the amazing benefits and blessings that forgetting are two completely different things. With that, it is pour into our lives when we forgive those who sin against us. quite healthy to create boundaries when someone wrongs us But forgetting how people have wronged us? Other than – otherwise we leave ourselves open to let the person hurt us what is found (and misinterpreted) from this verse, I don’t see again. this teaching in Scripture. I definitely see where God says HE We can and should completely forgive people who wrong us, will forget our sins (see Psalm 103:11-12, Isaiah 43:25, Jerbecause we’re instructed throughout Scripture to do just that. emiah 31:34, Acts 3:19, and Hebrews 8:12), but I don’t see in Recall the Lord’s Prayer, which says for God to forgive us in Scripture where God tells US to forget how people sin against the same way that we forgive others. But we must also rememus. To forget opens the door for us to be abused and turned ber to draw boundaries when someone wrongs us. It’s part of into doormats. I’ll guarantee you that Jesus, being the perfect being a mature adult. embodiment of agape love, was NOT a doormat. I encourage everyone to incorporate this aspect of agape love Where I do see a mention of “forgetting” is in Philippians into their lives. It is truly freeing. n 3:13, where Paul is talking about pressing on to what God has in store for him. He says, “But one thing I do: Forgetting what is Daniel Bobinski, M.Ed. is an award-winning and best-sellbehind and straining toward what is ahead…” First, notice that ing author and a popular speaker at conferences and retreats. Paul is not saying he’s forgetting how people have wronged Reach him at daniel@eqfactor.net or (208) 375-7606.
6 November / December 2021 | Christian Living
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