CHOOSING to Love
Understanding the two kinds of pride By Daniel Bobinski Note: In March of 2020 I decided to use this space to focus on God’s greatest command. If you’re connecting with this series for the first time and would like to read the earlier columns on this topic, I encourage you to visit Christian Living’s website to read the whole series. Visit www.christianlivingmag.com/ columns/
Paul is saying that such actions are never part of agape love. Jesus is our ultimate example of agape here. As God in the flesh, he had zero need to puff up his abilities or accomplishments. And so, if we are to love the Lord our God, we have no need to puff up his abilities or accomplishments, either when talking with Him directly or when telling others about Him. Then comes loving our neighbors. There’s no need to puff them up, either. No need to inflate their ego through flattery. According to the Apostle Paul, doing so would be acting in a non-loving manner. Of course, that doesn’t mean we need to deflate another person, either. It’s best if we acknowledge people’s abilities and accomplishments with a balanced, realistic
This series on biblical (agape) love is built upon the greatest command: Love the Lord with all your heart, mind, strength, and soul, and love your neighbor as yourself. When I first Daniel Bobinski started this series, I pointed out that the “as” in that statement means “in the same way as.” assessment. I also pointed out that some argue we’re not supposed to love I’ve been around people who regularly over-inflate other ourselves; we’re supposed to deny ourselves. I always say both statements are true, it’s just that clarification is needed for what people’s accomplishments, and I must say, it doesn’t take long for me to doubt everything they’re saying. Consistently puffing “self ” means for each use. up other people causes one to come across insincere. Denying ourselves refers to following the ways of the flesh. That leaves loving ourselves. If we agape ourselves, we can’t Absolutely – we’re supposed to deny the lusts of the flesh and inflate our own abilities and accomplishments. As when talking follow after Jesus. But when Scripture says to love ourselves, it with others, if we inflate our own abilities or accomplishments, refers to cherishing what the indwelling Holy Spirit is doing it doesn’t take long for others to not trust what we say – and within us as He transforms us into the image of Christ. that greatly inhibits our ability to tell others about Jesus. Think of that transformation this way: If God is patient In the same way that I begin to doubt someone when they toward us, who are we to think ourselves better than God and puff up and flatter others, I also doubt people when they exagbe impatient with ourselves? I don’t see any place in Scripture gerate or overstate their own capabilities. where God gets impatient with Himself, so if we are being So, that’s what NOT to do. But as I’ve asked in previous transformed into the image of God, then neither should we installments, what should we do instead? become impatient with ourselves. One could say the opposite of pride is humility, but I think it As we move into this next installment of our examination of goes farther than that. After all, it’s easy for some to fall into a biblical love, which is Love is not proud, we need to keep in pattern of false humility. Therefore, I think the healthiest apmind a similar differentiation of denying ourselves vs. loving proach for actions to take in place of being puffed up is simply ourselves. being realistic. The reason for this differentiation is that two types of pride It’s kind of like when Jesus said for your “yes” to be “yes” exist. One of them is healthy; the other is not. and your “no” to be “no.” There’s no need for stretching realIt is healthy for us to “take pride” in something, such as ity in any direction. You are who you are, you have been gifted taking pride in our children or our work. That’s because one with skills that God wants you to have, and with that alone, definition of having pride is “to highly value something.” As God loves you so much that he sent His Son to die on a cross an example, if my daughter finds a creative way to solve a to redeem you to Himself – no matter how many imperfecproblem, I value her ability to do that, so I take pride in her tions you may have. accomplishments. The main difference between Love “does not boast” and “is This is the kind of pride spoken of by the Apostle Paul in 2 not proud” is the concept of puffing up. To boast means to Corinthians 7:4, where he tells the Corinthians, “I have spobrag about accomplishments; to be proud in the physioõ sense ken to you with great frankness; I take great pride in you. I is to inflate one’s accomplishments so as they appear larger or am greatly encouraged...” (NIV). Paul uses the Greek word better than what they were. doxazõ when talking about this healthy kind of pride. With that in mind, the healthiest, most agape response is to However, our 1 Corinthians 13 definition of what love is and be a realist. Display no false humility, but also do no boasting isn’t uses a different word. Here, Paul uses the Greek word or puffing up, either. n physioõ to indicate an unhealthy type of pride. In addition to being translated “proud,” physioõ is also translated “puffed up” and “arrogant.” This idea is to make oneself or one’s work Daniel Bobinski, M.Ed. is an award-winning and best-selling author and a popular speaker at conferences and retreats. appear greater than what really exists. BlueLetterBible.org Reach him at daniel@eqfactor.net or (208) 375-7606. tells us it’s similar in concept to a bellows, “used to inflate, to cause to swell up.”
6 March / April 2021 | Christian Living
www.christianlivingmag.com
