A Reluctant Giver

T

he lady handed me a fifty dollar bill. I sold my guitar at a rummage sale in an attempt to liquidate assets during a period of unemployment. I kept it as an emergency fund in case things became desperate, but I hoped to use it for something special if all went well. I had in mind framing a poster for the bare-naked walls in my government housing apartment. My neighbors downstairs had two babies. He worked as a construction contractor of some sort. I didn’t know exactly what he did because I had never bothered to speak to them; but I had been irritated by the mud clods his boots would leave on the stairs. They had recently received a three-day-to-pay eviction notice. My heart went out to them. They must have come up with the money somehow. Now they both had developed terrible coughs, and I wondered if they were eating. I felt God tug at my heart to love my neighbors by giving them food money. “But I’m still unemployed,” I objected. “I don’t have any extra to give. As it is, I’m living by faith that You will meet my needs.”

had to admit that everything belongs to Him and that He had been gracious to me through the giving of others. The next day a new grocery store opened in town. I wandered through the store, but didn’t buy anything for myself because I was short of cash. I considered using that fifty dollar bill to buy a gift certificate for my neighbor, but I couldn’t do it. I went home miserable. An hour later I was back at the store to purchase the gift certificate. I must confess that I did so grudgingly. I felt like God was punishing me, rather than blessing me. I typed a note “from Jesus” containing the Lord’s words in Luke 12:29-31, encouraging them not to worry about food but to seek God and He would provide. I taped the envelope to the door of their apartment. Minutes later, my neighbors found the note. I prayed that God would use the gift to bless their lives, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. I also prayed that god would give me a more generous heart so it wouldn’t take me two days to reluctantly give the next time He prompts me.

God brought to mind several verses about selling your possessions to give to the poor, and I knew He wanted me to give the fifty dollar bill from selling my guitar. “Give to the poor?” I argued. “You don’t seem to understand, Lord: I am the poor.” God reminded me of the widow who put two copper coins into the treasury—all she had to live on. God was asking me to give all I had during my unemployment and to trust Him to provide. “Lord, it is difficult for me to let go of this,” I confessed. God nudged me on by reminding me that whenever we give the hungry something to eat, it is as if we were giving it to Him. Would I give God my fifty dollar bill? I

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