Faith Feeds Grandparents

Having a faith conversation with old and new friends is as easy as setting the table.

FAITH FEEDS GUIDE

GRANDPARENTS: HANDING ON THE FAITH

CONTENTS

Introduction to FAITH FEEDS 3

Conversation Starters 6

• My Yaya: My Grandma, My Friend by Megan Heeder 7 Conversation Starters 9

• Todo Dios Es: All Is God by Sacha Hauc 10

Conversation Starters 12

• Puppy’s Lessons by Peter Folan 13

Conversation Starters 14

• Gathering Prayer 15

The C21 Center Presents

The FAITH FEEDS program is designed for individuals who are hungry for opportunities to talk about their faith with others who share it. Participants gather over coffee or a potluck lunch or dinner, and a host facilitates conversation using the C21 Center’s biannual magazine, C21 Resources.

The FAITH FEEDS GUIDE offers easy, step-by-step instructions for planning, as well as materials to guide the conversation. It’s as simple as deciding to host the gathering wherever your community is found and spreading the word.

All selected articles have been taken from material produced by the C21 Center.

This guide is presented in partnership with the Catholic Grandparents Association. Visit catholicgrandparentsassociation.org to learn more.

FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS

Who should host a FAITH FEEDS?

Anyone who has a heart for facilitating conversations about faith is perfect to host a FAITH FEEDS.

Where do I host a FAITH FEEDS?

You can host a FAITH FEEDS in-person or virtually through video conference software. FAITH FEEDS conversations are meant for small groups of 10-12 people.

What is the host’s commitment?

The host is responsible for coordinating meeting times, sending out materials and video conference links, and facilitating conversation during the FAITH FEEDS.

What is the guest’s commitment?

Guests are asked to read the articles that will be discussed and be open to faith-filled conversation.

Still have more questions?

No problem! Email karen.kiefer@bc.edu and we’ll help you get set up.

READY TO GET STARTED?

STEP ONE

Decide to host a FAITH FEEDS. Coordinate a date, time, location, and guest list. An hour is enough time to allocate for the virtual or in-person gathering.

STEP TWO

Interested participants are asked to RSVP directly to you, the host. Once you have your list of attendees, confirm with everyone via email. That would be the appropriate time to ask in-person guests to commit to bringing a potluck dish or drink to the gathering. For virtual FAITH FEEDS, send out your video conference link.

STEP THREE

Review the selected articles from your FAITH FEEDS Guide and the questions that will serve as a starter for your FAITH FEEDS discussion. Hosts should send their guests a link to the guide, which can be found on bc.edu/FAITHFEEDS.

STEP FOUR

Send out a confirmation email a week before the FAITH FEEDS gathering. Hosts should arrive early for in-person or virtual set up. Begin with the Gathering Prayer found on the last page of this guide. Hosts can open the discussion by using the suggested questions. The conversation should grow organically from there. Enjoy this gathering of new friends, knowing the Lord is with YOU!

STEP FIVE

Make plans for another FAITH FEEDS. We would love to hear about your FAITH FEEDS experience. You can find contact information on the last page of this guide.

CONVERSATION STARTERS

Here are three articles to guide your FAITH FEEDS conversation. We suggest that you select two that will work best for your group, and if time permits, add in a third. In addition to the original article, you will find a relevant quotation, summary, and suggested questions for discussion. We offer these as tools for your use, but feel free to go where the Holy Spirit leads. Conversations should respect and ensure confidentiality between participants.

This guide’s theme is: Grandparents: Handing on the Faith

My Yaya: My Grandma, My Friend

Megan Heeder

THIS PAST THANKSGIVING break was the dawn of the realization that my relationship with my grandmother could be considered a friendship, because what I treasured most from vacation was simply being with my grandmother, my Yaya. At some point in my middle school education we discussed how our deepest friendships were those in which we could be quiet and enjoy the gift of being with the other person. The more time I spend with Yaya, the more grateful I become not for the adventures I cherished most as a child—trips to the beach, the amusement park, or our beloved local ice cream shop—but simply the gift of time, the gift of being with her. Three saints’ descriptions of friends reveal the beauty of friendship with my Yaya.

“God sends us friends to be our firm support in the whirlpool of struGGle. in the company of friends we will find strenGth to attain our sublime ideal.” St. MaxiMilian Kolbe

I distinctly recall being nine and rushing downstairs to call Yaya so that she could convince my parents of their obvious unfairness (or, if that failed, to run away and live with her). While Yaya ultimately imparted her wisdom to me (asserting that a 10 o’clock departure to fly or walk halfway across the country was not a possibility), even at age nine

I knew wholeheartedly that Yaya was my pillar of strength in any whirlpool of struggle. In the later torrents of college decisions, elite academic institutions, and collegiate athletics that challenged my identity, Yaya’s company or conversation imparted almost immediate peace. To encounter Yaya is to encounter a love so genuine that it mediates God’s love; in a way nothing else can, Yaya’s love grounds me in God’s peace and reconnects me to the strength I need to make God’s sublime ideal my own.

“love everyone with a deep love based on charity...but form friendships only with those who can share virtuous thinGs with you the hiGher the virtues you share and exchanGe with others, the more perfect your friendship will be.” St. FranciS de SaleS

I have few exemplars of how to love others more ardently than my Yaya. The fruit of a life lived in intentional relationship with the Trinity radiates from her beautiful smile and warm hugs. My relationship with Yaya has always instilled in me a deep admiration of the virtues that bejewel her way of daily life. Grace shines as she patiently welcomes my large family when we inhabit her home for two weeks each summer, as she readies a heart for reconciliation with the briefest of conversations, or as she shares her generosity

of spirit through warm hospitality. During our yearly summer vacation, my eight-person family seems to ever so subtly become a better version of themselves, especially in Yaya’s presence. The older I become, the more I desire to become like Yaya—to embody God’s love, whose fruit is virtue. Yaya’s embodiment of charity serves not only as a model but as a means to draw me closer to the source of virtue manifest in her life.

“friendship, as it has been said, consists in a full commitment of the will to another person with a view to that person’s Good.” St. John Paul ii

Few people more sincerely desire my good than Yaya. With unparalleled wisdom and a heart capable of beautifully pure love, Yaya expresses her commitment to my good with gentle honesty and concern about my happiness. Yaya never withholds her honest opinion, which I hold in high esteem. She also cares deeply about my happiness; she never lets me leave without asking if I am happy in my study or work. Even amidst trials, Yaya points out that happiness can be found in perseverance and moments of peace—it is this deep happiness about which she asks, not merely the whimsical happiness that ebbs and flows with life’s peaks and valleys.

The more time I spend with Yaya, the more grateful I become not for the adventures I cherished most as a child—trips to the beach, the amusement park, or our beloved local ice cream shop—but simply the gift of time, the gift of being with her.

Cherished friends bring me joy, calling me by word and example to be a better version of myself—to be who God made me to be. My Yaya embodies holiness, calling me to it with her example and the way she lives, the way she loves; she draws me closer to holiness through our friendship. As Yaya was an English teacher, poetry captures well what her example and our friendship has taught me:

“and we are put on earth a little space, that we may learn to bear the beams of love…” WilliaM blaKe ■

MEGAN HEEDER earned a B.A. and an M.A. from the University of Notre Dame and is currently earning a Master’s in Theological Studies at the School of Theology and Ministry at Boston College.

Printed with the permission of the author.

MY YAYA: MY GRANDMA, MY FRIEND

“Grandma’s prayers are the reason a lot of us are still here.” —Author Unknown

Summary

Megan Heeder tells us about her relationship and friendship with Yaya, her grandmother. From childhood adventures to adult struggles, Yaya stood as a pillar of strength and a constant reminder of God’s love.

Questions for Conversation

1. Does Yaya remind you of anyone else you know? How or why?

2. Intimacy is found in relationship with God and with others. Grandparents can bring us closer to the Trinity in the way they love. Can you relate?

3. Time spent with our elders is a gift. What gifts have you received from others that have grown your mind in heart in your lifetime?

4. “Even amidst the trials, Yaya points out that happiness can be found in perseverance and moments of peace.” Have you found that to be the case in your own life?

TODO DIOS ES: All Is God

Sacha Hauc

AS A CHILD, my grandmother would often bring me to Sunday Mass in a small chapel in the outskirts of Bogota, Colombia. This lengthy trip entailed an hour drive through the Colombian countryside, followed by what seemed to be an even longer climb up the mountain where the minute chapel rested. After a few years of this ritual, I asked my grandmother why she always chose to attend Mass at such a distant church when there were plenty of thriving congregations near our home. Her piercing green eyes looked down on me as she explained that the journey to the chapel was as much an act of devotion and prayer as the act of attending Mass. She went on to say how the wind, which seemed to embrace us on our climb, was the breath of God pulsing through the mountainside. That the trees that lined the roads to the church stood in reverence to the amazing celebration that was existence. She remarked that every mile we traveled on our mini-pilgrimage was a reminder that this world was nothing more than a journey of returning home to God.

At such a young age, I was not able to understand the wisdom she shared. When I looked at the trees, all I saw was wood and leaves. As for the wind, it would often only deliver chills without any remnants of the divine. However, when we entered the church it was often easier to see the lofty words she spoke of. The smell of incense and candles filled the altar as I was instructed to simply sit and pray. I would often look up to the wooden crucifix at the center of the room and tell myself, “There he is, there’s God.” As naïve as this may seem, it often filled me with a sense of peace and joy. For many years, this was what God meant to me, my experience of what God stood to mean.

A few years later, my family (and I) immigrated to the United States, and my sense of faith remained unchanged. As time passed, I would reflect on the words of my grandmother and the simple saying she endlessly repeated to me, todo es dios (all is God). This wisdom never resonated with me until I found myself returning to Colombia with my grandmother. It was a Sunday as we stood in our tiny apartment and prepared ourselves once more for the trek to the small chapel. For a moment, it was as if all time stood still and I was once more a child accompanying his grandmother to Sunday Mass.

However, this trip was unlike all the others as it proved to reorient my mental paradigm of what the divine represented. On our journey, I examined how strong the trees stood as the sun seemed to so delicately caress their leaves. I saw the smiles of the farmers on the side of the road as they carried freshly picked coffee fruit. As I trekked up the mountain, the wind seemed not to deliver its chilling presence but instead felt as if it flowed through me. By the time I arrived at the chapel, I had realized all these seemingly trivial experiences were facets of the divine revealing itself to me.

While I finally understood what my grandmother meant when she spoke of seeing God in all things, it wasn’t until I was completing a philosophy major in college that this notion truly developed. My professor at the time was covering material from St. Ignatius’s Spiritual Exercises. He explored one particular passage from this work that stated, “[Find] how God dwells in creatures, in the elements, giving them being, in the plants vegetating, in the animals feeling in them, in men giving them to understand.” This concept that St. Ignatius wrote on finding the divine presence in all of God’s creations was exactly what my grandmother was attempting to teach in our weekly pilgrimages. It was the simple acknowledgment that life was in itself an exploration of both the vastness and endless grace that is God, if we are simply willing to see it. In many regards, I have found it is no easy feat to live one’s life as a prayer, to the reflection of God in every facet of our lives. However, in my short journey, I have nurtured this perspective by reminding myself that life truly is a miracle. That to simply exist in a world that so generously provides for us is in itself a statement of the divine presence that encompasses and embodies our universe. I am reminded of this each time I return (home) to Colombia, where I still undertake the trek to the chapel on the hill. It now serves as a testament to the words of my grandmother. Most importantly, it has become an anchor for reminding me to never cease to marvel at the divinity that so intimately lies in each and every one of God’s creations. ■

SACHA HAUC is a 2018 graduate of Boston College, currently studying public policy at Yale University.

photo credit: Pages 12–13: Chapel in Colombia, Creative Commons, Andres Reyes Reguros

TODO DIOS ES: ALL IS GOD

“A child needs a grandparent, anybody’s grandparent, to grow a little more securely into an unfamiliar world.”

—Charles and Ann Morse

Summary

Boston College alumnus, Sacha Hauc, reflects on his relationship with his grandmother. While living in Colombia, Hauc’s grandmother taught him the valuable lesson: All is God. Or, as St. Ignatius puts it, we can find God in all things.

Questions for Conversation

1. A grandparent’s influence can profoundly shape your life path. Has that happened in your life or in the life of someone you know?

2. How do you help yourself see “the vastness and endless grace that is God” in your own life?

3. The Holy Spirit works generation to generation, helping us hand on the faith. Can you think of someone who greatly influenced and helped strengthen your faith?

PUPPY’S LESSONS

It was an early August morning and the sun had only begun to peek through the foggy Cape Cod morning; it would take a few hours to melt the morning dew sprinkled across the yard.

The glittering spiderwebs that danced on the tips of the disheveled lawn would soon disappear in the heat of the day. The morning would rise shortly as would the day, sending my grandfather, whom we called Puppy, back home for another week and me off to my summer routine. Snuggled next to him, we reminisced about his childhood and recounted tales from our family lore.

During those early summer mornings, my grandfather and I also explored questions about God, Jesus, and miracles. He told me that everyone has a guardian angel to help them see God’s work in their daily lives. At 10, I searched everywhere but could not see mine or understand. I adored Puppy, and we shared a world filled with laughter, stories, hugs, and smiles. Puppy’s subsequent death the next morning in his own bed a little over 100 miles away shook my very foundation and core beliefs.

My relationship with my grandfather provided me with confidence and encouragement to use my imagination, to embrace reading, to run with the pack while also daring to lead. It also provided me with the courage to play sports without being consumed by them or the fanaticism that corrodes them. His love and patience gave me the strength to buck trends, to question authority, to love wildflowers and songbirds, and most importantly to be me. This model of caring inspired and encouraged me as a boy to imagine a world filled with limitless possibilities.

In my work with high school and college-aged students, I try to engage young men with the same patience that Puppy showed me. I hope that through our conversations these men can begin to examine their

by Peter Folan

lives and rekindle aspects of themselves that they have neglected. All men need authentic relationships through which they can examine and talk about their lives, and within these relationships a reciprocity develops that allows each person to gain new insight. I know that I have learned much about myself from the countless students that I have talked with over the years, and hope that they have gained half as much as I have from them.

My grandfather taught me that everyday miracles still occur. I am reminded of him each time I walk into my son’s bedroom, as Puppy’s wooden cross now hangs there. The most impactful and important relationships in life provide room to explore questions about life, God, miracles, and, yes, guardian angels. As a father and educator, I know the best guidance and mentorship works through genuine love and the capacity to search for God’s grace at work, as it is through His love that we can nurture others and develop meaningful relationships.

I can feel the influential work of my guardian angel, Puppy, every day. As a father, I strive to raise a son who will grow into a man with a generous and loving heart. Boys confront many pressures as they grow into men; I felt them as a boy and still do now. I pray my loving relationship with my son will give him the strength to negotiate the snares, traps, and pitfalls that exist today. I also try to model that same relationship with the students that I meet each day as I ask them to examine the loving relationships in their lives to find their guardian angels and God’s abiding love. I hope that by openly sharing my faith with the young men that I meet as an educator that I can influence them to allow their faith to rest at the core of their masculinity.

PETER FOLAN is currently the president of Catholic Memorial High School in Boston.

PUPPY’S LESSONS

“Grandparents are like wisdom of the family: They are wisdom of a people.”

—Pope Francis

Summary

In this article, Peter Folan describes the key lessons he learned from “Puppy,” his grandfather. He learned leadership, compassion, and faith. These lessons continue to have an impact on Folan’s work with the young men whom he mentors.

Questions for Conversation

1. Has a guardian angel touched your life? If so, how?

2. Do you think gender influences the way we practice our faith?

3. How has your relationship with a grandparent or someone close to you grown your faith?

4. What’s some of the best faith advice that has been handed down to you?

Be With Us Today

St. Thomas More (1478-1535)

Father in heaven, you have given us a mind to know you, a will to serve you, and a heart to love you.

Be with us today in all that we do, so that your light may shine out in our lives. Through Christ our Lord.

Amen.

For more information about Faith Feeds, visit bc.edu/c21faithfeeds

This program is sponsored by Boston College’s Church in the 21st Century Center, a catalyst and a resource for the renewal of the Catholic Church.