4 minute read
DR. KNOW
Q + A
Our riverfront’s bridges have painted columns of numbers on the concrete supports underneath. What do they mean? The numbers closest to the water are largest, so they can’t mean the water level. And the numbers are different under each bridge. Are they some kind of secret nautical code? —COUNT ME IN
DEAR COUNT: We receive this question regularly from landlubbers. The numbers have different meanings depending on which direction boaters are going when passing Cincinnati’s five riverfront bridges. Traveling east, numbers on the top lines show the combination for unlocking
Dr. Know is Jay Gilbert, radio personality and advertising prankster. Submit your questions about the city’s peculiarities at drknow@cincinnati magazine.com
the secret entrance to Hillary Clinton’s Pizzagate underground lair. Going west, add up all the numbers on the second lines, multiply the total by 1,062,021 (the date of the January 6 insurrection; easy to remember), and you have the number of vaccination victims injected with government microchips.
Or maybe it’s this: The numbers are “clearance gauges” showing the river’s water level in relation to the bridge above. Let’s say you’re approaching a bridge and you see the water line resting at the number 40. Translation: If your boat’s height exceeds 40 feet, you are about to join the many YouTube videos of trucks that sheared off their tops at a railroad overpass. Trust the science, and pay your insurance premiums.
During September’s “White Out” Bengals game, I noticed something about the uniforms: Black stripes on white helmets make the safety warning decal on the back impossible to read. The decal’s text disappears over the black stripe. Doesn’t this violate some NFL
safety rule? —A CONCERNED WHISTLEBLOWER
DEAR CONCERNED: You must know, having watched that Bengals game and others, that it’s a bad year for poking the NFL about rules and regulations. Their voicemail has probably been full since Week 5. Still, you have a point. The standard orange and black Bengals helmet displays legible white text on its safety warning decal, but on the “White Out” helmet, whether black or white text is used, some portion of the warning disappears.
There are decals with alternate-colored text, but a sleek White-Out Bengals helmet with a green or purple blob on the back would inflict an aesthetic head injury. Maybe this factored into things. Besides, do you think any NFL player has looked at the decal since receiving his first helmet in middle school? It isn’t there for the safety of players; it’s for the safety of lawyers.
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American Sign Museum | Arthritis Foundation | ArtWorks | Best Point Education & Behavioral Health | Bethany House Services Inc. | Big Brothers Big Sisters of Greater Cincinnati | Bridges of Faith Trialogue dba EquaSion | Cancer Free Kids Pediatric Cancer Research Alliance | Catalyst Counseling Foundation Inc. | Cincinnati Chamber Orchestra | Cincinnati Museum Center | Cincinnati Nature Center | Cincinnati Preservation Association | Cincinnati Song Initiative | Cincinnati Tennis Foundation | Cincinnati Therapeutic Riding and Horsemanship | Cincinnati Works | Cincinnati Youth Collaborative | Cincinnati Zoo & Botanical Garden | Cincinnati’s Ronald McDonald House | Companions on a Journey Grief Support Inc. | Do Good Mission | EDGE Teen Centers | Everybody In! | First Step Home | Focus on Youth Inc. | Forever Kings Inc. | Foundation of Joy | Friends of the Harriet Beecher Stowe House Incorporated | Grant Us Hope Inc. | Heartfelt Tidbits Inc. | HER Cincinnati | His Eye Is on the Sparrow Llc | Hope4 Ukraine | Inter Parish Ministry | INTERalliance of Greater Cincinnati | Isaiah 55 Inc. | Islamic Educational Council | LADD | Learning Through Art | Lighthouse Youth & Family Services | Love Grows Program Inc. | Loveland LIFE Food Pantry | Master Provisions Inc. | Matthew 25 Ministries | Mental Health America of Northern Kentucky and Southwest Ohio Inc. | My Nose Turns Red Theatre Company | NAMI of Southwest Ohio | National Underground Railroad Freedom Center Inc. | NewPath Child & Family Solutions | Over-The-Rhine Museum | Planned Parenthood Southwest Ohio Region | Pro Seniors | Progressive Animal Welfare Society Adoption Center Inc. | Q-Kidz Dance Team | R-3 Restorations | Reviv Family Support Foundation | Revolution Dance | Samaritan Car Care Clinic Inc. | Springer School & Center | St Joseph Home | St. Rita School for the Deaf | St. Vincent de Paul - Cincinnati | Starfire Council of Greater Cincinnati | Sweet Cheeks Diaper Bank | Taking Root | The Bridge Adaptive Sports and Recreation | The Nancy and David Wolf Holocaust & Humanity Center | The Story Collective | The Wyoming Fine Arts Center | The YMCA of Greater Cincinnati | West College Hill Neighborhood Services Inc. | Whitney/Strong | Your Store of the Queen City |
Charities registered as of November 2, 2022.
