O P I N I O N ‘Security theatre’? Don’t frighten the horses… When cinemas reopen, being demonstrably “clean” will be seen as a priority, but as CT’s Alastair Balmain argues, perhaps exhibitors should consider not labouring this particular point too much.
G
RANNY’S GOT CORONA…” I confess that
messages about gloves, hand sanitiser, sneeze screens and
the call we received some weeks back
masks “for customer protection”, what we’re actually saying
about my 99-year-old grandmother-in-
is: “Come to the cinema… if you like living life on the edge”.
law seemed daunting. Unsurprisingly at
I can see how my view may run counter to the accepted
her age, she’s in a care home, so catching
groupthink and that we should, of course, insist that front of
Covid-19 didn’t come as a huge shock. We braced ourselves.
house teams dress like Dustin Hoffman in his yellow hazmat
You can imagine our relief when, a week later, the follow-up
suit, but perhaps we should not overplay “security theatre”
call had a more positive tone: “She’s recovered… her main
too much? Maybe washing our hands more often, catching
concern now is where her digestive biscuits have got to.”
our coughs and keeping a respectful distance is sufficient to
It’s been a funny few months. Worldwide, familes have been struck by tragedy — and I’m sure all know of individuals
satisfy the concerns of those who are confident enough to attempt to resume their normal lives.
taken by this terrible scourge — yet stories like the one above demonstrate, fundamentally, that life also goes on. You’d be
Safe to go back in the water?
hard pushed to say that it’s life as normal right now though.
I had my car serviced the other day. The garage I went to was outstanding. The seats were slathered in fresh sheets of
Go ahead, punk… Wash your hands.
throwaway plastic, it was sanitised to within an inch of its life,
But the semblance of normal life is returning. In the UK,
my key returned in a ziplock bag, and I got to keep the pen I
cinemas reopen from 4th July. If ever there was a better case
used to sign on the dotted line. “What a palaver,” I yelled to
for a re-run of “Independence Day”, I don’t know what it is. Of
the chap some distance from me behind the service desk.
course it’s not 100% normal life. Not yet. As you can read
“With all due respect, you’re not the customer we’re doing it
throughout this issue, concern, consideration, and provision
for,” was the immediate — and accurate — response.
will be made for the inevitable “PPE”, all of which is done
When cinemas reopen, I’ll stand in the elongated queue,
with the best of intentions — to demonstrate actions taken
I’ll book online and I’ll follow the authorised route to my
to protect customers and staff alike. To use the parlance of
isolated seat. But in all honesty, I’ll do so with a faintly devil-
the airline industry, it’s good “security theatre”. People can
may-care attitude. And I bet that’s true of the majority of
see safety. It wears blue gloves and smells of hand sanitiser.
those who visit the cinema in the next few months. They’ll
I have a concern. If we overplay the adoption of such
be there not because it’s 100% safe to go back in the water,
measures, do we not simply intensify fear further, jeopardising
but because they know and accept the associated risks. Let’s
the audience’s enthusiastic return? To me, if we broadcast
give them reasons to come, not reasons to stay away.
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