Emily Anderson

51 01’43.45 N and 3 43’42.96 E

WHAT IS WAR?

I CAN’T FEEL MY CHEST, I can’t breathe, and it feels as if the air has been stolen from my lungs. I hug her, hopefully not for the last time. The aroma of her sweet perfume overwhelms me, “I’ll never forget you…” she utters. I reach out for her; she looks at me and tears start pouring from her pale blue eyes. My heart breaks, my lungs collapse, life doesn’t seem real. Then the man tells me it’s time to go. My feet feel like bricks and I can’t walk, but I must.

I’m down in the trenches now; she hasn’t escaped my mind for a second. I’m scattering through the mud, it’s so heavy on my feet. I look around and all I can see are bodies. Some I know, and some I can’t even make out the faces. I’ve never witnessed something so horrifying. As I’m walking, bombs explode and guns are shot. Screams and cries linger in the background. I can feel the fear in my soul, it’s excruciating.

I wake up the next morning by a soldier nudging me, “The lieutenant needs to speak with you,” he groans. I am confused as to what is happening. Am I in some sort of trouble? I arrive at his tent; he smiles and tells me that he received what the letter reads. He hands it to me. “You’re going to be a father…” it says. I read the note over and over again. This gave me hope, happiness and the will to survive. I must make it home now, for my family.

I must concentrate and stay focused no matter how hard it may be. I peek out around the barrier. No sign of the enemy, I take a deep breath and run with all my might to the next barrier I could spot. As I’m running I see one of my fellow soldiers, wounded and bleeding. It may not be safe for me, but I can’t leave a man behind. I swiftly run over to him. He looks up at me; I immediately see relief in his eyes. I take my bandana and wrap it around his arm to try and stop the heavy bleeding. I attempt to lift his motionless body onto my back, but before I could move the helpless soldier I felt something rip through my skin followed by several more piercing sensations in my chest. My body goes numb.

The next thing I know, I have traded places with the man I was just trying to save. The only difference is he is running from me. He has left me alone in the cold rotting mud. “I can get through this,” I think to myself. “I have to.” I try to sit up but my body isn’t reacting to what my brain is telling it to do. I’m becoming frustrated. It’s getting hard to breathe. Each breath I take feels shallower. The world is blank. Everything is dark. I can no longer feel anything, but my heart still aches. Not for myself, but for my wife and unborn child. I realize this is the end. I lay still and listen to my heart take its last beat.