Baltimore City Paper, Vol. 33, No. 6

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THE LAURE DROGOUL SHOW / PAGE 28

BALTIMORE’S FREE ALTERNATIVE WEEKLY

VOL. 33 NO. 6, FEB. 11-FEB. 18, 2009

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FREE LOVE Our Readers’ Valentines

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FEBRUARY 11, 2009

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BALTIMORE’S FREE ALTERNATIVE WEEKLY EDITOR: Lee Gardner ART DIRECTOR: Joe MacLeod MANAGING EDITOR: Erin Sullivan ARTS EDITOR: Bret McCabe MUSIC EDITOR: Michael Byrne ONLINE EDITOR: Tim Hill SPECIAL PROJECTS EDITOR: Anna Ditkoff SENIOR STAFF WRITER: Van Smith STAFF WRITERS: Edward Ericson Jr., Chris Landers CONTRIBUTING WRITERS: Jeffrey Anderson, John Barry, Tom Chalkley, Charles Cohen, Raymond Cummings, Violet Glaze, Michelle Gienow, Cole Haddon, Geoffrey Himes, Henry Hong, Martin L. Johnson, Laura Laing, Deborah McLeod, Brian Morton, Kate Noonan, Al Shipley, Vincent Williams, Mary K. Zajac CONTRIBUTING PHOTOGRAPHERS AND ILLUSTRATORS: Okan Arabacioglu, Emily C-D, Tom Chalkley, Ben Cricchi, Jennifer Daniel, John Ellsberry, Alex Fine, Emily Flake, Michelle Gienow, Mel Guapo, Sam Holden, Frank Klein, Daniel Krall, Hawk Krall, Uli Loskot, Christopher Myers, Michael Northrup, RaRah, Paige Shuttleworth, Deanna Staffo, Smell of Steve Inc., Jefferson Jackson Steele, M. Wartella, Autumn Whitehurst BALTIMORE WEEKLY EDITOR: Wendy Ward COPY EDITOR: Joseph Tropea ASSISTANT TO THE ART DIRECTOR: Wynter Towns INTERNS: Matt Garland, Kim Irwin, Jami Katz, Randi Leyshon, Kathryn Mastandrea, Awis Mranani, Chidinma Okparanta PRODUCTION DIRECTOR: Athena Towery (x211) SENIOR GRAPHIC DESIGNER: Matt Walter CLASSIFIED PRODUCTION SUPERVISOR: Donald Ely GRAPHIC DESIGNERS: Frank Hamilton, Daria Johnson ADVERTISING DIRECTOR: Jennifer Marsh (x221) SENIOR ACCOUNT EXECUTIVES: Andy Grimshaw (x222), Chris Ziolkowski (x219) ACCOUNT EXECUTIVES: Valerie Gatzke (x253), Nina Land (x220), Annie Smikins (x214), Dylan Smith (x226) CLASSIFIED MANAGER: Leslie Grim (x246) REAL ESTATE ACCOUNT EXECUTIVE: Ashira Jensen (x248) AUTOMOTIVE ACCOUNT EXECUTIVE: Bettina Wachter (x244) CLASSIFIED DISPLAY REPRESENTATIVES: Kathryn Hudson (x249), Patrick Martin (x245), Joy Sushinsky (x247) CLASSIFIED LINE SUPERVISOR: Nicole Urbain (x212) CLASSIFIED LINE REPRESENTATIVES: Gemma Gould (x213), Emily Robinson (x209) ADVERTISING ASSISTANT: Linda Bernstein (x216) CLASSIFIED SALES ASSISTANT: Rob Farley (x208) EVENTS/MARKETING INFORMATION: x252 CIRCULATION DIRECTOR: Christine Grabowski CIRCULATION MAINTENANCE: Mike Grabowski DISTRIBUTION: Keith Bondurant, Kelly Carr, Evan Ebb, Lloyd Farrow, Harold Goldman, Mike Grabowski, Jean LeBlanc, Abe Mamot, Bonnie Mullens, Miroslav Muzyka, Michael Nelson, Marek Obrebski, Hector Rivera, Mark Scudder, Marek Seder, George Svezzese, James Tighe BUSINESS MANAGER: Nicole Seabrease RECEPTIONIST: Michelle Bollino NATIONAL ADVERTISING: The Ruxton Group, (888) 278-9866 GROUP PUBLISHER: Don Farley (x229) GENERAL SALES MANAGER: Jennifer Marsh (x221) PUBLISHER’S ASSISTANT: Susan Slike (x224) Volume 33, Number 6, February 11, 2009. City Paper is published ever y week by TimesShamrock communications. Letters and calendar submissions are welcomed; please see these sections for details. Unsolicited editorial submissions will not be returned. Subscriptions available for $150 per year, 1st class. No refunds. ©2009 C.E.G.W./TimesShamrock. All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced without the written permission of the editor. 812 Park Avenue, Baltimore, MD 21201 (410) 5232300; advertising fax: (410) 523-2222; editorial fax: (410) 523-0138; Baltimore Weekly fax: (410) 523-8437. Get It Online: www.citypaper.com

AUDIT BUREAU OF CIRCULATIONS MEMBER

CONTENTS

VOL. 33 NO. 6, FEBRUARY 11-FEBRUARY 18, 2009

IN THE PAPER FEATURE/10 COLUMNS & DEPARTMENTS THE MAIL/5 POLITICAL ANIMAL/7 MOBTOWN BEAT/8 MURDER INK/9 WHOSE RESPONIBLE?/50 SAVAGE LOVE/68 FREE WILL ASTROLOGY/75 PUZZLE PAGE/83 ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT OPENING ACT/21 FILM/22 MUSIC/23 IMPRINTS/26 ART/28 STAGE/30 FREE RANGE/32 EATS AND DRINKS/33 BALTIMORE WEEKLY HIGHLIGHTS/36

THE SHORT LIST/39 COMICS THIS MODERN WORLD/5 DIRT FARM/70 THE PAIN—WHEN WILL IT END?/70 MAAKIES/70 IMPORTANT COMICS/75 LULU EIGHTBALL/90 ON THE WEB SITE ❑ MORE VALENTINES! ❑ MOBTOWN BEAT: ARABBER VIDEO BLOG ROLL: ❑ THE NEWS HOLE ❑ NOISE ❑ FEED BAG ❑ ULIBLOG ❑ ARTS AND MINDS ❑ X-CONTENT ❑ CPTV

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THE MAIL That’s Just Wrong Mr. Wrong only once every three weeks? (Mr. Wrong, Feb 4). While I sometimes enjoy the rants, where else can I find the gratuitous use of cusses except in perhaps amateur college papers? F-bombs and their cousins, often used, make for irritating reading and exhibit a lack of diction. I’m sure as a professional writer you can express your thoughts without leaning on the constant crutch of cussing. You remind me of college drama players I once saw who introduced cigarette smoking in almost all scenes by all characters, whether called for or not, because they could. PHILIP M. WRIGHT ELKRIDGE

Legal Solution A solution to the destructive results of Baltimore’s “informal economy” has been on the city’s radar for decades, but is ignored by city leaders for their political gain (“Shadow Players,” Feature, Jan. 28). Legalizing or decriminalizing some or all drugs would help address the city’s drug-addict population and the city’s addiction to drug money. Legalizing the trade of some drugs and decriminalizing the use of others—treating their use as a public health issue, not a law enforcement issue— would boost the city’s tax base, reduce the number of addicts not receiving treatment in our overcrowded prisons, and free police resources to fight serious crimes and unsolved murders. But very few of our city leaders take the proposition seriously because they prefer to score political points by cracking down on THIS MODERN WORLD

addicts so they can say they are “tough on crime.” It’s time to push our leaders to make radical changes that will help the city and its addicted population, and be ready to make radical changes to our City Council if it fails to do so. BRIAN BITTNER BALTIMORE

The writer is a co-chair of the Baltimore Green Party.

Dixon Is Innocent Because She’s Black? A brief note to register my disappointment with Larnell Custis Butler’s latest letter regarding Mayor Dixon (“Dixon a Victim,” The Mail, Jan. 28). Like LCB, I don’t know if the allegations are true or not, but it is ridiculous to assume that the basis for them is institutional racism absent any evidence of that being the case. To defend someone because they happen to be the same race, gender, or whatever as you are is absurd. Is LCB really saying she doesn’t care if the mayor is guilty or not, she will defend her because she, too, is a black woman? Surely we should all be equal under the law. When public officials let us all down, we should all be outraged. I believe that when someone attempts to prevent debate by suggesting that the questioners must have some sort of prejudice they are preventing free speech in a particularly insidious and divisive way that should be challenged whenever it occurs. ALEX HARVEY BALTIMORE

Editor’s note: With this issue, we must unfortunately bid farewell to Staff Writer Jeffrey Anderson. He will be missed. Best of luck, Jeff.

BY TOM TOMORROW

Address letters to THE MAIL, City Paper, 812 Park Ave., Baltimore, MD 21201; fax: (410) 523-0138; e-mail: letters@citypaper. com. Only letters that address material published in or policies of CP, are no more than 500 words long, and include the writer’s name, address, and daytime phone number will be considered for publication. Letters may be edited for length and clarity.

FROM THE WEB From COMMENTS on citypaper.com:

The News Hole: “Permission Needed to Use Official Photos of the Governor” “Damn it will be a pleasure to spend my parrots savings account to get new pictures of Gov. O’Money to line his cage bottom. Just hope it dosen’t constipate the poor bird when he looks down. O’Money has tthe opposite affect on me. Can’t wait for him to “call out” anyone who won’t pay up. Chip Franklin where are you when we need you. . . .” — “YOURDREAM,” 2/6/2009, 6:56:06 PM

Eat Me: “Noodled” Enoyed this piece very much - in fact, had fortified instant ramen before I read it.

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Also good for seasoning ramen for variety: Furikake Nori Katsuo (Japanese seaweed and sesame seasoning) Kikkoman bottled Memmi soup base A spoonful of Miso paste a little bit of curry powder this sounds gross, but sometimes I like to put in a dollop of catsup As a midtown city dweller, I swear by Potung Trading on Park - great selection and amazing prices. Excellent for Chinese, Filipino, Vet, and Indonesian products but they don’t carry much Korean product - but there’s always Koreatown further uptown on Charles. —“TAYLOR HUBBARD,” 2/4/2009, 3:29:08 PM

Film: “He’s Just Not That Into You” I’d like inform you that Scarlett Johansson “actress” actually is a clone from original person,who has nothing with acting career.Clone was created illegally using stolen biomaterial.Original Scarlett Galabekian last name is nice, CHRISTIAN young lady. — “SERGAL,” 2/4/2009, 10:33:20 AM

Film: “He’s Just Not That Into You” Haha...you can keep dreaming! I was there during filming of a scene and it's definitely her, her selfrighteous confidence, AND her poor acting :) —”SEMETRA,” 2/7/2009 10:42:51 PM

Feature: “Letter Men” Great story! I hope that Globe Posters can arrange projects with up and coming designers. It really is a way for designers to feel closer to the trade. —”DMERCURIO,” 2/3/2009 11:51:22 PM ■ citypaper.com

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POLITICAL ANIMAL STANDING ATHWART PROGRESS bipartisanship, reached across the aisle and extended a hand. The Republican Party, almost en masse, responded by clenching their fists and hitting him in the mouth. We played this whole game before, back in early 1993. As Bill Clinton came into office, the unemployment rate had been floating at about the 7 percent level. He put together a package of spending and tax increases on the upper brackets that made conservatives holler bloody murder. The phrase “the largest tax increase in American history” was in boldfaced type at the top of every sheet of talking points of every Republican to step in front of a microphone. Clinton’s bill passed BARACK OBAMA, IN A SPIRIT OF

BY B R I A N M O R T O N

if a president is given two full terms. Bush had two full terms to push through as many tax breaks as he could, still blindly believing in Arthur Laffer’s discredited trickle-down theory. Instead, all those tax cuts shoveled money into the hands of greedy speculators and financial Ponzi-artists determined to reap even greater and greater profits while pawning off as much of the risk as possible onto the government. Think of all the private industry fiascoes that floated around the Bushies over eight years: Enron, Arthur Andersen, WorldCom, Jack Abramoff. And in the end, the lack of oversight over the financial industry ended up bringing us the giant real estate boom and bust, the collapse of brokerage houses like Merrill Lynch, and the mind-blowing chicanery of the Dickensian-named Bernie Madoff. Now, here we stand at the brink, after the American people decisively made the call for change at the top, and the GOP leadership is comparing themselves as an opposition party

THE AMERICAN PEOPLE DECISIVELY MADE THE CALL FOR CHANGE AT THE TOP, AND THE GOP LEADERSHIP IS COMPARING THEMSELVES AS AN OPPOSITION PARTY TO THE TALIBAN. without a single Republican vote in either side of the Congress. Between that and the assault weapons ban, plus the general ennui on the Democratic side in the 1994 midterm elections, the GOP took over both houses and proceeded to aim for gridlock at every opportunity, to the point of shutting down the government in 1995. The reason, of course, for all the squealing, is that most of the Clinton tax increases were aimed at the wealthiest Americans, who also have a disproportionate level of access to the national media. Ever since the Supreme Court declared that money essentially equals speech, we’ve learned that if you stick the rich with a pin, the squealing can be heard in China. When the Republicans took over all three branches over government in 2001, George Bush and his party had the license to do every single thing they desired, from starting wars (which gave even more power to the executive) to funneling defense dollars to their friends (think Dick Cheney’s friends at Halliburton and Blackwater) to skimming the contents of the federal treasury into the pockets of the rich via tax cut after tax cut after tax cut. Doesn’t anyone recall how Bush made tax cuts sound like the panacea for every problem, from high gas prices to skyrocketing heating bills? To sweeten the deal for those in the lower tax bracket, he made sure to send out (relatively) piddling $300 checks to every taxpayer, to distract from the thousands of dollars in tax breaks going to the upper echelons. Before long, the $230 billion surplus that Clinton announced in 2000 had all but disappeared. What you do in the start of an administration usually comes to fruition at the end of it,

to the Taliban, and turning every simple Senate vote into a 60-vote clash for cloture. Republican star-wannabe Sen. Jim DeMint of South Carolina offered an amendment to the economic stimulus plan, composed of nothing but—you got it—tax cuts. Just a few of the hilarious provisions: permanently repeal the alternative minimum tax, which was designed so that the Leona Helmsleys of the world couldn’t get away with paying no taxes at all; permanently keep capital gains and dividend taxes at a ludicrously low 15 percent, letting trust-fund babies living on inherited wealth and stocks pay the same rate as if they barely made any money at all; drop the estate tax rate to 15 percent for estates over $5 million and kill it completely for those under that level; lower the top marginal income tax rates from 35 percent to 25 percent; create only two other tax brackets after that, at 15 and 10 percent, respectively; and lower the corporate tax rate from 35 to 25 percent. You and I might look at this proposal as you might look at the two-week-old packet of peanut butter crackers in your office snack machine; with skepticism and disgust. Senate Republicans, however, voted for it in a giant pack—only five of them declined to vote for it. When William F. Buckley fomented the start of the conservative movement in the 1950s in his seminal magazine National Review, he claimed that the job of the conservative was “standing athwart history yelling Stop.” It is not history the Republicans are aiming to derail at this critical moment, but progress. With luck, this time history will mow them down along with the bad ideas they’ve clung to for almost 30 years. It’s time. ■ politicalanimal@citypaper.com

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MOBTOWN BEAT

ILLEGALIZE IT?

HORSE SENSE

Scientists oppose legislation that potentially disrupts medical research

Baltimore City and B&O Railroad Museum team up to construct a new stable for displaced arabbers MARTHA COOPER

AFTER ALMOST TWO YEARS of living as exiles in their own city, it looks like Baltimore’s arabbers—African-American produce peddlers who for generations have sold their goods from horse-drawn carts—may finally be moving into a permanent home (“All the Pretty Horses,” Mobtown Beat, Aug. 22, 2007; “Horse Nonsense,” Mobtown Beat, Oct. 3, 2007; “Homeless Horses,” Quick and Dirty, Mobtown Beat, April 23, 2008;“In-Stableility,” Mobtown Beat, April 30, 2008). According to city officials, a new stable for the community of arabbers removed from a city-owned building on Retreat Street in 2007 will be built on property owned by the B&O Railroad Museum just across the train tracks from Carroll Mansion in Southwest Baltimore. Right now, the arabbers and about 20 of their horses are operating out of temporary tent stables on a muddy lot next to the railroad tracks under the Monroe Street bridge in West Baltimore. Construction on a new stable, the arabbers hope, could begin by the end of 2009. “I got my bel iefs,” says Dona ld “Manboy” Savoy, the elder of the community of displaced arabbers, who owns the majority of the horses with his son Donald Savoy Jr. “They promised they are going to do something. I believe them.”

A HORSE TROTS IN THE LOT WHERE TEMPORARY TENT STABLES FOR ARABBER PONIES ARE SET UP UNDERNEATH THE MONROE STREET BRIDGE IN WEST BALTIMORE. arabbers into the effort to revitalize the Pennsylvania Avenue Redevelopment new stables. The city will diminish the Pennsylvania Avenue corridor. When Collaborative (PARC), the B&O Railroad allocation each year, until the operathe stables were closed, the horses Museum, and the Arabber Preservation tion becomes self-sustaining. were first transported to the Bowie Society, will manage the new stable. “We are working on a strategy to Race Track in Prince George’s County, Dan Van Allen, an occasional City make sure the arabbers as a culture then to tent stables set up in the parking Paper contributor and president of the can keep going and have a home in lot of Pimlico Race Track. In December Arabber Preservation Society, a non- Baltimore,” says James Hamlin, di2007, they were once again moved, this profit organization that was set up in rector of the Pennsylvania Avenue time to the temporary tent stables on 1994 to help the arabbers maintain the Redevelopment Corp. and a board Monroe Street. In April 2008, Mayor Retreat Street stable when it was still member of Arabber Heritage. Sheila Dixon said that the city had done standing, says he is guardedly optimisEarly on in the arabber saga, Hamlin enough to help keep the arabbing tradi- tic that the city and this new nonprofit had advocated for preservation of the tion alive: “It’s important that they pull may actually come through. arabber way of life as part of the city’s “I do feel it’s credible,” he says. “I don’t historic African-American heritage. know why, but I’m hoping they will If this new stable is built, Hamlin and “THE WORST THING IN THE WORLD WAS IN 1971 follow through.” others hope, it will make it possible to WHEN THE ROYAL THEATER WAS TAKEN DOWN,” Part of the reason for that optimism is connect the produce-peddlers to the the fact that Courtney Wilson, African-American historic tourSAYS JAMES HAMLIN. “WE DON’T WANT [THE director of the B&O Museum, ism. A Heritage Trail has been ARABBERS] TAKEN AWAY.” has taken an interest in the CHARLES COHEN established along Pennsylvania horsemen and -women whose TALKS TO THE Avenue that points out Supreme On Aug. 8, 2007, the city condemned themselves together to sustain themtemporary stables are located Court Justice Thurgood Marshall’s HORSEY SET the dilapidated stables the arabbers selves,” she said last spring, and the city on the far western edge of the AT CITYPAPER. childhood home, the Mitchell were using to house their horses and said it would only help the arabbers if museum’s property. Wilson family residence, and the locaCOM/GO/ carts, located on Retreat Street, an alley they put together a business plan. declined several requests for tion where the famed jazz club ARABBERS. near North and Pennsylvania avenues. But when the B&O Railroad Museum interviews, but the arabbers the Royal Theater once stood. City inspectors deemed the building offered to lease a site to the city for one themselves say that visitors to Ironically, if the arabbers were unsafe and in danger of collapse, so the dollar per year on which to build a perthe B&O were intrigued by the goings- still at their Retreat Street stables, not far city condemned it and promised to move manent stable for the horses, the city on at the stable, visible from the win- from these historic markers, they could the horses to a temporary location until accepted. According to Mayor Sheila dows of the antique train that takes have been another major anchor in the it could find a suitable place to build new Dixon, it was the museum’s involve- tourists on rides past Carroll Mansion. Heritage Trail. But Hamlin thinks that stables. The city even held a press conferment that made it feasible for the city The intent is to incorporate the arabright now it’s important to preserve the ence at which Deputy Mayor Andrew to build the new stable. bers with the railroad museum by tradition by getting arabbers involved Franks stressed the “importance of “If it wasn’t for the B&O stepping making the new stables a stop on the in both the tourist trade and also the preserving the rich traditions of the forward, along with what we are do- antique-rail tour. practical trade of selling fresh produce arabbers of Baltimore City.” ing in the city, I think we would have “[The arabbers] have been interactto low-income neighborhoods throughBut since then, the city has not come probably lost [the arabbers],” she says. ing with the tourists and the museum out the city. through on its promises to find the “We’re excited about it,” really likes it,” Van Allen says. “They “The worst thing in the world was in horses a new home. Since the Retreat A new nonprofit organization, called want to keep them there.” 1971 when the Royal Theater was taken Street condemnation, a number of Arabber Heritage Inc., was incorporatThe city will provide a $35,000 per down,” Hamlin says. “We don’t want plans have been proposed only to fall ed with the state on Jan. 9. The organi- year grant to the Arabber Heritage this [the arabbers] taken away.” through, including a plan to bring the zation, which includes members of the organization, which will manage the CHARLES COHEN 8 | city paper

FEBRUARY 11, 2009

citypaper.com

MAKING LEGAL STUFF ILLEGAL is pretty much what legislating is all about, and so it was probably inevitable that the Maryland legislature would take up something like SB 9, “An Act concerning Criminal Law – Salvia Divinorum – Controlled Dangerous Substances.” Salvia, also called “diviner’s sage,” is a plant that, when smoked or chewed, causes altered perceptions. It is available over the internet and in places like the Karmic Connection on South Broadway in Baltimore City. If you type the name into YouTube’s search box you’ll get numerous videos of teenagers laughing uproariously and saying stupid stuff—same as if you type almost anything else into YouTube’s search box. There are two other important things to know about Salvia. First, which dominates many people’s thinking about it, is that 17-year-old Brett Chidester, a Delaware honors student, killed himself in 2006, and the Delaware Medical Examiner added Salvia as a “contributing factor” in his death after the report was first filed, for reasons never explained. The result has been a series of state laws mostly banning the sale or possession of Salvia. In Delaware, it’s called “Brett’s Law.” Last year, Baltimore City Councilwoman Belinda Conaway introduced a bill to ban Salvia sales and possession in Baltimore City (Councilmania, Mobtown Beat, Feb. 6, 2008). The bill did not pass. The second thing to know is that, in the human brain, Salvia does not bind to any of the neuroreceptors formerly associated with hallucinogens. That’s a ROLAND GRIFFITHS (LEFT) AND MATTHEW W. JOHNSON (RIGHT) SAY A PROPOSED STATE LAW BANNING SALVIA DIVINORUM COULD DISRUPT DRUG RESEARCH.


You Tube videos. “You don’t have to be a teen, you could be a young adult. It could be a gateway drug to cocaine,” BY AN NA DITKOFF Owens says. That ’s t he at t it ude t he MURDERS THIS WEEK: 3 Hopkins researchers are tryMURDERS THIS YEAR: 26 ing to combat. They’re fine with an age ban or even a TUESDAY, FEB. 4 sales ban, Johnson says, but 2:50 A.M. Demetrius Saulsbury, a 22-year-old Africanlawmakers need to maintain American man, was visiting his girlfriend at her home in some perspective, since makthe 1700 block of North Washington Street in Broadway ing Salvia a “schedule 1” drug East. The woman’s mother had a boyfriend who entered such as heroin, even with rethe house and became upset that Saulsbury was over search provisions, would stop at that time of night. Saulsbury and the man argued. most research. Saulsbury started to walk out the front door, but the “The DEA wants man pulled out a gun and shot Saulsbury in you to put it i n a the head, killing him. As of press time, the WANT THE LATEST bank vault,” Johnson shooter had not been arrested. ON HOMICIDE says of schedule 1 1:45 P.M. That afternoon, law enforcement ARRESTS AND drugs. He’s equipped in Gwynns Falls Park found a 37-year-old CONVICTIONS? to do that, but he African-American man, Lemuel Wallace, READ THE MURDER says researchers in lying on the floor of the park’s public bathINK UPDATES AT states where Salvia room. Wallace, who was handicapped, had CITYPAPER.COM/ is banned have had been shot numerous times and was dead. GO/MURDERINK. to stop studying it. According to police, he was legally blind, T he ba n c ontemmentally challenged, and lived in a group plated by the state legislature home for people with special needs. would also outlaw derivative 4 P.M. That same day, David Wright, a 47-year-old compounds of Salvia, potenAfrican-American man, was shot inside a building in the 1600 block of Gorsuch Avenue near Clifton Park. He was taken to a local hospital where he died “IT SEEMS WE HAVE WELL-INTENTIONED LEGISLATORS less than an hour later. This is the second murder in Coldstream-Homestead-Montebello this year. PERHAPS BASING THEIR CONCERN ON YOUTUBE VIDEOS Three people were murdered on Feb. 4, making it AND GOOGLE SEARCHES.” the second-most murderous day so far this year, right behind Jan. 4, on which four people were murdered.

fact most people do not know or understand, according to Matthew W. Johnson. With his research partner, Roland R. Griffiths, Johnson studies the effects of drugs on people’s experiences and on behavior, looking for clues about how the brain works— and how it changes when a person, say, becomes addicted to heroin. Griffiths is a professor of psychiatry and neuroscience, and Johnson is an instructor, at the Johns Hopkins University School of Medicine; the pair have worked w it h ot her w iseillegal drugs before (“Sacred Intentions,” Feature, Oct. 8, 2008). As with their work with psilocybin, aka “magic mushrooms,” the researchers say Salvia offers promise. “This is a really exciting compound,” Johnson says of Salvia. “A derivative might be used as a medication— maybe as a cocaine abuse inhibitor.”

Hearing “at the last minute” about the bill introduction by state Sen. Richard F. Colburn (R-Eastern Shore), the Hopkins researchers emailed a technical paper to the legislators in which they noted that the bill as drafted, allowing for research use of the substance only with a waiver from the U.S. Drug Enforcement Agency, put them in a Catch-22. “Salvia Divinorum is not listed as a Federa l Schedu le I sub-

stance, and therefore it is not possible for a provider to be registered under federal law to conduct research with Salvia Divinorum,” the paper explains. A senate staffer says the researchers needn’t worry. “Everyone was so concerned about research,” says Katrina Owens, Colburn’s senate aid. “The bottom line is that medical research will always go forward. The senator said he encouraged an amendment so that research could proceed.” During a Jan. 27 hearing, the bill received a lukewarm reception from Sen. Brian Frosh (D-Montgomery County), who chairs the Senate Judicial P roceed i ngs Com m it tee. Several senators spoke skeptically of it, and the Maryland Office of the Public Defender sent a statement arguing against the bill. Kathleen E. Chidester, Brett’s mother, sent an impassioned letter in favor, and Robert Bokinsky, an

Ocean City police captain, told the lawmakers that much of the disorderly conduct he sees on the boardwalk is linked to Salvia use by teenagers who buy it in the shops there. “I wish they would have been here,” Owens says of the Hopkins researchers. “It would have been great to hear from them.” But she sounds keen to push the law forward in some form, citing “one homicide in Houston that they’re attributing Salvia to,” plus a load of

tially killing their commercial viability, he says. “Not to discount the fact that there can be dangers” with Salvia use, Johnson says, “but from a public-health perspective this is very small on the radar screen. At state level, and previously at city level, it seems we have wellintentioned legislators perhaps basing their concern on You Tube videos and Google searches.” E DWA R D E R I C S O N J R .

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UPDATES A third person was indicted by a Baltimore City Grand Jury for the murder of former City Council member Kenneth Harris. Harris, a 45-year-old African-American man, was shot and killed during a robbery of the New Haven Lounge on Sept. 20, 2008. Jerome Williams, a 16-year-old African-American male, was indicted on Feb. 3. Charles McGaney, a 20-year-old AfricanAmerican man, and Gary Collins, a 20-year-old AfricanAmerican man, were indicted last year. On Feb. 3, Darryl Halsey, a 27-year-old AfricanAmerican man, was sentenced to 35 years in prison for the murder of Earl Cornish. On May 16, Cornish, a 21-year-old African-American man, slapped Halsey’s sister on the ass. Halsey shot Cornish in the back in retribution. There has been a second indictment for the murder of Kenneth Jones, a 26-year-old African-American man. Jones was found dead from numerous gunshot wounds to the head in the 4500 block of Bonner Road on June 9, 2008. According to the State’s Attorney’s Office, Jones was at the Inner Harbor when two men pulled a gun on him and forced him into the trunk of a car. Dajuan Marshall, a 27-year-old African-American man, was indicted by a grand jury on July 17, 2008 for the kidnapping and murder. On Feb. 4, Kedar Anderson, a 22-year-old African-American, was indicted as well. The man, who pleaded guilty to murdering Shanika Pretlow, a 26-year-old African-American woman, was sentenced to 25 years in prison on Feb. 4. Brandon Chambers, a 25-year-old African-American man, shot Pretlow repeatedly on Oct. 18, 2005. Chambers had unprotected sex with Pretlow and then heard a rumor that she was HIV positive. The rumor wasn’t true. ■ citypaper.com

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To my Valentines, KW & NA,

WHAT THE

WORLD NEEDS NOW... CITY PAPER’S

SECOND-ANNUAL

READER

❤ VALENTINES

My loving wife Sharon,

Trae baby,

ox bean!!,

Happy Valentine’s Day Shawn!

Dennis, Thank you for 25 years of fun and love . . . Who would have thought that meeting you on a nude beach in Key West would lead us to all these years of love and affection? For that I will always love you. Your husband, Gary

TAVONE I LUV U TODAY TOMORROW AND FOREVER LOVE ALWAYS WE CAN DO IT TIFFANY I thought this picture would explain it all, you like to eat and i like my natty boh, I love you, Learn to ABILIFY! Happy Valentines day. Love, Michael!

♥ Tressa Once again I’m showing my love to the world thanks 2 City Paper. But I just wanted to let you know that i.l.y. with all my heart. Almost 2 years and I’m looking forward to many more. :) No matter what ppl have to say, I’m not going to let that get in between us. Like I always say, “they try to pull us apart, but no matter how hard they try it only makes us stronger.” We got chemistry + bubbles (insider). You mean everything to me and no one can take your place in my heart. You are my king, my sunshine, my Buddha. I love you hubby! Mwahhh! Love, your girl, Biscuit xoxo 4.16.07

Booface,

I Will Love You Forever

Tyrone, I love you so deeply, I love you so much, I love the sound of your voice And the way that we touch. I love your kind, thoughts, ways, The joy that you bring To my life every day. I love you today As I have loved you from the start, And I’ll love you forever With all of my heart.

It’s been great. Happy Valentine’s Day dear, with many more to come. Shirl the Pearl

To my one and only! Happy Valentine’s Day!

Kenny you are the love of my life. I love you very much. From your wife, Vickie

To: Dwayne The first time I laid eyes on you . . . I forgot to breathe. Now that I have the privilege of knowing what it feels like to love where there is no space or time, my life is forever changed. You are my everything. Here’s to our first Valentine’s together!! I love you. From: Dawn

Mlorlando5dungeon3mlomm

Wasabi Pea loves Sweet Pea. It may not be summer Ro

My love Dre (Cookie), sin diesel,

You are my dream come true and I am so blessed to have a love that fulfills my heart’s every desire. You are everything I never knew I always wanted. Complete is how I feel when you are near and completely empty is how I feel when you are gone. I love you always and forever. Forever Yours, Neisha (Cake)

To My Chef,

i like you. venus o. killendorf Much love to my Ram Fam! Jami M.

It’s only been two years, but look at everything we have experienced together! I look forward to many years with you . . . although that may not happen because you’re KIND OF an old-head. Here’s to another V-Day! Love always,

To the two loves of my life, Booboo

Suesue She gives me presents With her presence alone She gives me everything I could wish for She gives me kisses on the lips just for coming home Pancake

Narnhole,

BB,

How truly happy I am as we travel together on this journey called “life.” Happy Valentine’s Day to my SGBF. ly, gf

To My Loving Husband Kenny,

Thanks for always being my rock in hard times, for singing ’80s songs with me, and for understanding the importance of cute underwear. I don’t know where I’d be without you. All my love, CJ

Words can not express the love I have in my heart for you. I have to say that time flies when we are together and it will soon be a year!! I can only hope for many more years for us to grow as one. Here is to the first of many Valentine’s Days together, baby. I love you, xoxoxoxo, Sherrie

There isn’t a day that goes by that you don’t put a smile on my face. Darryl Sr., you know I think Valentine’s Day is corny, but I wanted to take this opportunity to publicly tell both of you that I love you more than I can ever express! Aisha

but you make me feel hot all year long. Without you, Josh, I would be nothing. I know that you are everything to me. I can’t live without you. I will always love you, forever. xoxo Michelle

Dear Danielle, I’ve spent the best years of my life with you. I hope we can have many more. Love, Cameron

Dane,

Bubba Mac’s is where we meet. 2002, Carolina’s, and Reggea brought us back together 2008. And the rest is history. Love 4ever and always, Daman P.S. Happy Valentine’s Day

luff forever, your possum and the drop

Paul,

To my Queen,

You are my world. Nub always,

Happy Valentine’s Day DeDe

To: Nay

Thank you for being the Wonderful Man that you are. I Love You. Wendi Each dream of mine begins with God and you and ends with special thoughts of joy and you. You are the most important part of everything I do. You are on my mind. You’re in my heart. Each moment of the day I thank God. And no one else in all the world could make me feel this way. Love, Gwen

10 | city paper

Thank you for burned socks, blankets of death, clumsy elbows, and so much more.

Troy, I love umore than words can say baby, n I can’t wait 2 b ur wife. 9/9/09 t.d.d.u.p! Sherry

Hey Nubbler,

From: Dee “Once In A Lifetime” Once in a lifetime You will find someone Who touches not only your heart, But also your soul You discover someone Who stands beside you, not over you You find someone Who loves for who you are, And not for who you could be Once in a lifetime, If you’re lucky, You find someone . . . As I have found you

No Shuggie!

FEBRUARY 11, 2009

Nugget

citypaper.com

I love you Z, MUAH.

To Stink, I want to express the true love I have for you, words can’t began to describe it! When I think or even speak about you I melt inside, you complete me. I could never see myself with none other, you’re the key to my lock, the PB to my J, the milk to my cereal, what I’m trying to say is I LOVE YOU unconditionally and we’re two that belong. Happy Valentine’s Day, Stink. Love, Zahirah aka ur Fattz

My darling Tiger, Thank you for not only being an amazing boyfriend, but a great best friend as well. I am so lucky to have you in my life! Happy 1st Valentine’s Day together. Love you, Bub! Always and forever, Megan

Dear Abbey and Sydney, Happy Valentine’s Day to the best daughters a Mom could ever ask for! Love you with all my heart, Mom

Keith Cobb, my love for LIFE, Dear Maryland Choices-Baltimore,

Dear Chris, Thank you for always being by my side. I love you. Kim

You are the single greatest joy and love of my life. I am so proud to be your wife! I look forward to many more years and women sharing together!!!!!!!! Imagine if we had another wife to share this love with? Looking forward to sharing a hotel room with you and Mari-Anne at Wicked Faire! Much love, Andrea

Nobody has bigger hearts or more love for youth than all of you! Happy Valentine’s Day! Kim

You were the first boy I kissed. God has brought us together finally! You have been in my heart since I was 12 and I am so glad that you are back home with me, where you belong. I love you ALWAYS. Alyssa A. Cobb


This to wife, lover and friend . . .

Don’t, don’t say it’s not enough; I need the loving as little as you can give, My heart is longing, and my soul needs to know; If you’re the love . . . truly the love for me. Dante Green

Chad, You have brought me back to life. Will you be my Valentine? Melissa The times we have get better and better, though the challenges of life test our commitment, the bond is still strong. I still wonder how you, so beautiful have chosen me? I know as time goes by we will be able to look back and enjoy the happiness we have brought each other. Happy Valentine’s Day! Shawn Every girl dreams of a guy who is sensitive to her feelings, knows how to show her a good time, is sexy as hell, and has swagger like no other . . . I hope I never wake up from this dream I’m in . . . Thanks for being U, Mr. Wright. XOXO, Your Digital Girl

My Sweet Cheeks, I cannot wait to be tied up in your dungeon. I’m ready for a wild night of ass-slapping, hair-pulling sex! Love you, Sultry Bitch

I have loved you 32 years & I will love you 32 more, I am still in love with you. <3 Love you. Bull <3 Thank you, William Schlidity Schlichting Sr.

I tried to think of something clever to say— but it just sounded corny. I tried to describe my love for you—but words are insufficient to capture it. I tried to write you a poem—but nothing rhymes with discombobulate. So I settled on just asking you to marry me. Will you? Thing 2

Laura, Our worlds may be different, but our love keeps us together! Love, James All the love that we shared With the many ways you showed you cared. My life was filled with rain. Donna, you smiled at me and really eased the pain. Now the bright days are here. Donna, one so true, I love you. Happy Valentine’s Day. Love, Sonny

Peanut, Love you a heap. Popcorn

Special K, lubs lubs lubs lala

Shelly in Medfield, Everyday is a new discovery, Every month is a new adventure, Every year tells me this is right. Love those cookies. Happy Valentine’s Day. Lalalala. I love you forever

To my Lusie, You are my world you are my future I love you with all my heart, you will always be my husband for life. Love 4 Life, Christina

To my Bright Eyes,

Thing 1, Donna,

will let the multitudes know that our souls are one, being evenly yoked. Some say that love is having spiritual peace and I know that it is a gift, never to be forsaken. So may we be forever wrapped in God’s loving arms. Knowing that tomorrow is never promised, I shall love you with every inhale and exhale—you being my earth and I being your water. I sit and contemplate and have come to realize that you are heaven sent. Happy Valentine’s Day, Leon

Aubre, You’re an amazing women, my guiding light, you will always have my heart. John M.

To Kenya, I’m hearing the angels sing the sweet song of never ending love, and a proclamation of souls intertwining. You are the early morning dew that glistens by the moonlight. I hear the wind whispering your name, and what a sweet melody it is. My dreams of passion overwhelm my senses and I become engulfed in lustful thoughts. If I could compare you to anything it would be the universe, because with every rotation you keep me in awe—I am your prey—and I am gladly in your submission. I am your instrument, strum as you may. We shall play a song that will have cupid filled with envy. Happy Valentine’s Day, Anthony bka New York

My Gorgeous Nicole, You thought I was kidding when I told you it was love at first sight. However, you opened up your heart to me and I opened up mine to you. I can’t wait for the day when we are together and can show how much I really love you. Happy Valentine’s Day Your husband,

This message is for that special someone. You don’t even know that I exist, but each time I see you I’m love-struck. I love the way your body looks, but I also would like to get to know your mind. Your beauty to me is unmeasurable. Long story short: I’m in Dallas, you’re in Spring. Can we go out and will you be my Sweet Valentine? Keith

SweetPea, Happy Valentine’s Day + happy anniversary. I love you! Snuggle Bear

Barbara

My beautiful Grace, When I asked you to dance at Sweeney’s on that hot Aug. 12 night over 42 years ago, you paused a long moment, then said, “Yes.” It was something about your eyes; they enchanted me, made me prisoner. And so, today, we celebrate our 42nd Valentine’s Day together. You’ve been my partner, my sidekick, my sweetest lover. You’ve made a house our home and bewitched me with your dark Italian eyes and baffling logic and infectious laughter. You’ve summoned the lecher and the saint from me. You’ve kept this wrinkly old man looking “nice,” fixed my hair, sung doo wop aloud with me, and loved our family with pride and a fierce and implacable Sicilian loyalty. You’ve made our marriage adventurous, goofy, byzantine, and altogether the very best way to spend a lifetime. Craziest of all, you’ve loved me and danced with me all these years. There will never be and end to us, Grace. Never. I am forever yours. All my love, Leo

You have made me so happy from the day we meet your smile makes my day when I hear your voice it makes me feel good everything you touch smells like you give me joy Love you always. Happy Valentine’s Day,

“That Love for me” Let’s say I gave you a dozen roses, and that you’re intensely, so in love with me. My life would be another story, and the world yet be, nothing to fear. You are the star I always wanted; the melody, for me to sing; What other thing I won’t imagine, so I could have you, forever along with me. I can no longer just pretend; to dream and swear, the love I have for you; The only thought that renders in my mind: Is the one I have, dancing with you girl.

Even though it hasn’t been long I want you to know my heart feels for you and longs for the days to come with me by your side so we can fall deeply into all that life has for us. I wouldn’t want to spend the rest of it doing nothing or without you so think about it on lovers day no matter where we are and know I have you and love in the same place always, my heart. Baby Boy (Antonio)

You are the love of my life. The day I met you was like winning the love lottery. It pays out 20,000 kisses a year. I feel like the richest person this side of heaven. You are my everything. Happy Valentine’s Day. Love, Debbie

Dear Tonya, Have a Happy Wonderful Valentine’s Day!! Love, B 09

Rossalyn, You are my H.E.A.R.T. H - Heaven sent, God Blessed E - Everything a real man could ask for in a wife A - Always dedicated to your family first R - Romantic, loving and affectionate T - Together, with me, forever till death do us part Love always, Truet

David,

When we first met, I knew you were heaven sent. And when you first smiled at me, I knew I was in love with you forever. So happy Valentine’s Day and birthday, I love you so much pumpkin dumpling. Love, your Boka

To Tanya

Kita,

“Thank You” Tanya I thank you over and over again, For being my lover and also my friend.

I have never met someone so beautiful, strong, and passionate in my life. I love you for who you are and that’s my one and only. I look forward to spending more Valentine’s Days and anniversaries with you. So get

Reggie “And I fumbled the ball” PLEASE, PLEASE forgive me + P.S. I’ll always love you forever, Miss Lady! <3 (J.F.T.) RENAY BE MY VALENTINE

Samantha, A blissful thought. In the very sight of God I shall profess that you are my life’s love. My thoughts are filled with only you—expressions of love are not enough for I am merely man, so I shall rest on the thoughts of angels’ reality, and they

Happy Valentine’s day with bunches of hugs to a little girl that deserves a magical day. You two will forever be in my heart I love you, kid! Bobby

You are the cheese of my nachos the baby peach of my mariokart the lomi lomi of my massages. Happy b-day, V-Day, and anniversary

Happy Valentine’s, Faith I hope you have a good Valentine’s. I would if I was there, but at the present time I am at Ravenwood nursing center. I miss your company you are the only person that I have. I enjoyed and miss the company we spent together as friends.

Brittany,

Happy Valentine’s Day, love! I cannot believe this is # 7! I’m so lucky to have you in my life. Love you moo! Greg

Dwight,

In words never written never spoken on a day so long forgotten, a day never well spent i remember another, a first, my only, a man that ceases to exist with little memory, i haven’t a clue, i see him in my mind from time to time with my eyes and wonder if he knows i do. and still i want, still i wish, still i pray still i love only him more than any other he knows who he is but i call him DAVID. Happy Valentine’s Day T, an old friend.

God sent you to me Karanda, lil “G,” Kimera, Akasha,

Tracy and Haley

Happy Valentine’s Day to my wild man (Mr. Gregory),

To Barbara W.,

Elliott Blackberry My days are black My nights are black Every step I take, I take alone. Continue to watch over me. Our love was more than love. Love,

ready because we’re just getting started. Happy Valentine’s Day, Baby!!! I love you, Pretty Girl!

John

Happy Valentine’s, Jerry

I thank you for sticking by me When times got tough, You never left my side And for that I can’t thank you enough. I thank you for the love and care you give to me and the kids, I thank you for our “special time” We share in our bed. I thank you for the good times Baby they’ve just begun, And I’ll thank you even more When you have my son. I thank you for being strong When things are looking bad, I thank you for acting happy around me When I know you were sad. I thank GOD for you each and every day, I thank you for holding us down While I am away. I can thank you and thank you for the rest of my life, But the most important thing I thank you for is being MY WIFE! In this poem I’ve said Thank You in every single line, And I’ll say Thank You once again for being MY VALENTINE! I love you Tanya! Always, Steven

Happy Valentine’s Mommy and Daddy Kahlil, Joey, Jada, and Kayla

Reese Cup, Has there ever been a candy any sweeter than my Reese Cup? Lovely on the outside, delicious within. The perfect blend of two things that totally complement each other. Soft, sweet, and dark on the outside, yet light, with a bit of roughness, on the inside. I enjoy every last lick and bite I get when eating you. You bring a smile to my face like no other candy I have tasted. Every time I go to unwrap you, I think of a different way to get pleasure from you. I might start with the edges and then work my way to the center, or I might go straight to the middle and eat the edges last. No matter how I do it, you always bring a new experience into each of our encounters. The small packages you have are a joy all their own. So sweetie, always know, no matter how many other cookies, candies, and cakes I may come across, you are my one true love—thank you for helping me to see that. God couldn’t have given me a better addiction, You are my comfort food and a friend indeed. I LOVE YOU REESE CUP. Stay sweet. MDW

Brian, A wise man once said when you say “I love you,” you are actually saying you have awakened a place in me where I am love. No matter what happens between us good or bad, I wanted to go on record to say that I am grateful to have you in my life, and I look forward to seeing the man you continue to grow to be. But more importantly thank you for awakening a place in me where I am love . . . Y

Kev, Thank you for being you and letting me be me. I love you. me

citypaper.com

FEBRUARY 11, 2009

city paper | 11


♥READER♥

VALENTINES

Nardie, Can’t believe this is our 3rd Valentine’s Day!!! Can’t wait to get my 5 hours!!!! I LOVE YOU!!! Always, L

middle school. Alright, so maybe you’re a little grayer and have traded in your football jersey for an argyle hoodie, but you sill make me grin like a bekilted schoolgirl. Love the hell out of you. Happy Valentine’s Day. Juanita

Happy Valentine’s Day, My Baby! You are the only Valentine I need! I’m going to give you some of your favorite things for Valentine’s Day . . . kisses, flowers, a massage, and a licking from head to toe! Tony

Lets take another walk on the beach. I see our conch! Ayw

Chris,

I love you a bushel and a peck lala

The Sweetest Man in the World,

Ivan, After umpteen years and four kids with you, you are still that awesome dude I met in

12 | city paper

Aaron,

Gregor the Magnificent, My dear, I love you more than s’mores ice cream, running, and COPS combined. Please be my Valentine for infinity. Your little blumpkin

Diego, Thank you for all that you have brought into my life, and for being the rock of my life. I love you forever and hope that, one more time, you will be mine. Happy V Day, sweetheart. Dad

MoJoe,

What I love about you: That you’re my friend plus more. Your arms that hug me and hold me, your non-aggressive kisses, on my face, my hands, and my lips. Your voice, your singing, your jokes, your compliments. Giving me flowers, especially since you rescue them. Your creative mind, your sweet heart, your clever brain, and your loving soul. Your love for dogs, and babies, and kids and seniors. Special needs people being drawn to you. The way your head tilts when you’re walking toward me with something for me. Your appreciation for my crazy gifts, nutty notes, and goofiness. Your playfulness and your goofiness. How you manage to sometimes say the words I think, and when you tell me you were going to say what I said. The grin on your face when your friends rub your shoulders. All your smiles and laughter, and the way you appreciate my smiles and laughter. Your appreciative prayers and prayer requests to be a better Christian man. Your hands give affectionate touches. And when they hold mine. You walk with me and/or talk with me. When you think about me with a text or call. Putting your arms around me, walking me to my vehicle. Your soft, neat, natural-color hair. Your deep blue sparkly eyes, winking at me, and seeing my cuteness. When you do what’s best for your health, and increasing your telling people “no.” Telling me your point of view, when it’s different than mine. Your taste, the things you picked out for your home, and the way you keep it clean. Remembering my likes and dislikes and using it to pick out thoughtful gifts for me. Your love and admiration for your dear Aunt, and telling her about me. Generosity, gentleness, concern for others. Being smart with money, using coupons, and sales. You care more about what’s on the inside than the outside. The overall loyalty, dependability, and calmness of your personality, and the fact that you don’t let these qualities prevent you from occasionally trying new things like paintball, surprising me with a dinner rendezvous, or wearing a musical snowman tie. The only way it could be better, is if I could make you happier, and in more ways . . . I’m trying to love you with a Christian love that is true, unconditional, inspiring, and pure. Also, I can’t help loving you in a special way because you make me happy, you are a good example to me, and you make me want to be a better Christian woman. And everything I can see about you, on the inside and out, is just so precious and adorable. Sara

Ika,

Wendy, My Darling,

Teresa, Gina,

A LEX E,

you and I baby we go side by side. me and you, tell me what we’re gonna do no matter what i came here to do no matter what you came here to say we really ain’t got nowhere to go cuz your my tenderoni fo sho if i tell you how do my dancin’ baby never let me get in those pants cuz your my tenderoni cant fight the feeling, won’t get shut down, he let me slide enough. can’t fight the feeling, wont get shut down, he’ll always be my t-ttenderoni no matter what i came here to do no matter what you came here to say we really ain’t got nowhere to go cuz Alexey, you’re my tenderoni you and i, baby we go side by side me and you, tell me what we’re gonna do tenderoni . . . HEE LEE

Roses are Red Violets are Blue You’ve been too good To be True.

I’ll always be your stuff! I love you forever and ever! Rock flag and Eagle. The Thing

Zoe Girl Thanks for being my valentine for close to three years, I knew from the first time I saw you on the light rail back in high school, that you were the one for me. Twelve years later we met again and I was right, it wasn’t just a teenage crush. You are the one for me! Love, Rachel

HBW,

candace,

Maurice Jr., Let this be the first of many V-Days that don’t involve 214-mile commutes. I love you, I love our new life together, and I am so excited about our future. And ur mom. I’m excited about her, too. *! JPA

Happy Valentine’s Day!!! Thank you for being mine for two years. Carla

KMW Sr., Travis,

I Was Made to Love You My Hands to Touch You My Arms to Hold You My Eyes to See You My Lips to Kiss You My Legs to Stand With You Forever A Life Together I Was Made Made to Love You JRSB Just wanted to say im glad time hasnt changed our friendship but has grown to be stronger! I love you always. Denice A

hey baby i love you so much, thank you for always being there for me, i want you to know that i will always love and be there for you. courtnee

babyfeets,

Happy Anniversary, Tink. I sure do miss my little China Girl. Remember, all your tomorrows shine! Peter

“Yours” Your beautiful eyes, the softness of your skin Makes me hunger for you again The smell of your hair when it brushes my face The intoxication from the very taste of you Inspires a need so deep I can hardly keep my hands off you Is this drowning? If so let it be Then I will die blissfully wrapped up in My wish to be a part of you What more could I do Than be yours forever? All Rights Reserved 2008 Dezi

Sara Worley

Tim, Tom, and Tony,

Hey sweetie! I love you! You mean more to me than anything else! Joel

Tim, You are my gravity, you keep me grounded! Tom, You are my sunshine, you light up my life! And Tony, You are my moon—my mystery and romance! I love every part of you with all my heart and I am looking forward to every day of the rest of our lives; to grow old and have fun together. Most of all, I still like you: You still make me feel bubbly and excited, just like when we first met. Happy Valentine’s Day with hugs, kisses, and holding hands! Your Wife of 30 years, Brenda

Sue S., 112 down, infinity to go Mike Z

Todd of the Natalie Portmen One Len,

You rock so hard. I am so happy to be with you! Love x 10^5. Sarah!

MY MOMMY,

This is to my partners in crime. . . You guys have helped Baltimore become home to me :-) Raise your drinks guys—this is for every shot we took at Carlos O’ Charlies. This is for you picking up my calls in the middle of the night. This is for all the hair cuts and colors we went through. This is for the nights at 1722 and mornings spent cuddled in bed too hungover to think. This is for all the tears we have cried. This is for all the fights and yelling, but we still can’t stand to be apart. This is for the summer of ’08 and the spring of ’09. This is for the parties we crashed. This for the secrets we keep. This is for being my hope. This is for being my sober driver. This is for the guys that come in and out of lives, but we all stay together. This is to true love . . . CHEERS!! SAMMIE AND ERICK: You know I went through a bad heartbreak recently, and I love you guys for everything. I know it still hurts, but in the process of it all I fell in love with you guys, too. So I don’t regret what I went through. Because someone once told me that love was when you couldn’t see it any other way. WELL I CAN’T. I can’t see it with out you two in my life. I love you Sammie Face and Erick Mohawk Mariana

Fatboy Slim,

I LOVE YOU !!! I LOVE YOU AND APPRECIATE EVERYTHING YOU DO FOR ME AND THA TWINS!!! AND I KNOW YOU’LL ALWAYS HAVE MY BACK!!! KESHIA AND THA BABIES

cli40, These have been the best years of my life. I hope that we can squeeze another 50 years into our time together. I hope you have a Super-de-Duper Valentine’s Day filled with Flowers and Diamonds, well let’s start with the flowers. I Love You My Dear Papa B

Anne Wallace Howard,

Dear Todd, Thanks for being in the worst band ever with me. HAPPY FOURTH OF JULY! Justin of the Natalie Portmen

Love you, HB. And much love to the 3rd floor, where Anne and I met, in a year that could be rough. Gadi Dechter

citypaper.com

Joe, I love you!! I love you!! I LOVE YOU!! Always yours, Pebbles

A Beautiful and Seductive Woman Your eyes sparkle like the finest of jewels when I look into them You are a beautiful woman, gem, and friend Wishing you the Happiest of Valentine’s Days And thinking of sometime soon when friendship develops into something that can amaze! A Man With a Good Ear

Karen KR,

FEBRUARY 11, 2009

Sammie and Erick,

I hope that you and I will remain happy always together for the next 30 years. That would be what I would like to see. I was hoping that we would have a romantic Valentine’s Day weekend that is coming up as we enjoy that time together. I hope that as you read this at the club while riding that recumbent bicycle that you will realize that this is truly from me who wrote this. You know that it is truly me because no one else puts as many “thats” in a sentence that I do. I sincerely want you to know that I will love you always. Bob RK

Alp Patryk, Cryptograph versatile walk. Relatively patchwork grasp. Paperwork chivalry gestalt. Vital proper whacks greatly. Prue Verdah

Dave,

To my wonderful husband of approx. 10 years, I continue to love you more and more and wish for many more years together ‘til death do us part. May this Valentine wish come to you from the depth of my heart. Love You Always, Q. Babe*** Quiana

It’s Valentine’s Day and I just had to share, that tonight it will be you, me, and the chair! I’ll be your love, I’ll be your groupie. I’ll listen to dude-rock till my eyes get droopy. The man of my dreams, you’re sweet and sincere-o. I’ll love you forever, you’re my guitar hero. Sweet-P

Victor Jr.,

Hoorway Marmot,

I didn’t know how much of a blessing love could be until God sent you into my life. Now I can’t imagine my heart being anywhere else but with you. I Love You! Your wife, the one and ONLY true love of your life, J.

From the moment I realized how much you appreciated furry pulp on the street, I knew we were a good match. I love your jew fro and wolfman beard. You are the most loyal, compassionate, and dedicated person I know. I love you, Happy V-day. Two tickets to Wonder Lake

Dave,

“There are times when you’ll need someone. I’ll be by your side.” Baby, I LOVE you so much!! You are my light and I got your back like an Eastpak. Stay true to your word and I’ll stay true to you. XOXO. >;) Fuzzball

Mel, my one and only, Hello, gorgeous. I’m ecstatic that you’re reading this, and just as excited to think that thousands of other people will see this little devotional to you. So, here goes: I simply, truly worship you. You are more adored and admired than your humility would ever let you recognize. You’ve left an immutable stamp upon every aspect of my heretofore unremarkable life. I worry that I’ll never be able to give you everything you’ve given me, but goddamn if I don’t have plans and schematics drawn up to give it one hell of a shot. You’re incredible, you’re incredibly sexy, and you’re a phenomenal teammate. So, if you please: your presence is requested alongside me. Tonight, tomorrow, and for the rest of our days. There’s still a lot of wine out there for us to drink. I love you so incredibly much. Your biggest fan, Rob

the Pitiless Princess, You wagging your finger is a lovely, endearing gesture, and I look forward to chastising you about it for a very long time to come. From the man who likes the e-mail, G/D


Nina O.

AMJID

down drag-outs” I’ll never know, but I guess it’s our testimony of true love. I realize more and more as each day passes how much I truly love you. You love me with your whole heart, AND you love my son, too. I appreciate what you bring into our lives, and certainly hope we’ll be seeing more of you in it. You are a good man, a great father, and my best friend ;-) I love you much . . . and remember babe, the sky’s the limit! Let’s go get it this year! Muah, and happy Valentines Day. BTW, Thanks for redefining what this day means to me. “Candy Girl”

Dear Nina, We have been together for almost three years. We have been through so much drama and hurt that its time to let all that go. You are the wind beneath my bird wings. Your beautiful smile is my sweetest kiss. I will never hurt you again, just be you and be pure and honest. Thanks, for sticking by me and being the love of my life. Our journey has already begun. Let’s just fly to our dreams and just love. Love ya, Sky J

Sarah, Adam,

MY SOUL, MY BODY, MY THOUGHTS R WITH U ALWAYS. I LOVE U UNTIL DEATH LUCKY COOKIE

Happy Valentine’s Day, Worm! I love you and promise this to be the best of many more to come. I look forward to spending my life with you. I am truly thankful that I found you, my soulmate. Annie

SHE WANTS

TO DANCE don’t you?

You thought I forgot Brooke and Hilary, I LOVE YOU GUYS!!!! You have made these past two years the best! Veronica Bun, You’ve touched my life in such a positive way. Taken me into another element. I want to declare to the whole world how much I love you. Although our cipher is still premature, I see our future together. I want you to know that you’re beautiful and I wouldn’t give you up for anything in this world. Your Man Reggie

Linda, Happy Valentine’s Day, Booger! Love,

Well I didn’t, five years and running still won’t give up. I love you, Cressia. Happy V-Day Dashae D

Andiebear, Mi Papi Chulo, Feliz dia de San Valentin! Un Beso! L.

Kai, Happy Valentine’s Day baby! You are my everything and I love you with all my soul, mind, and body. Looking forward to sharing our next big adventure, parenting!! xoxo Kara

Tom

J.E.E., Dear Sharon, Thank you for being my wife for 25 years! I will love you 4-ever & ever & ever. Your loving husband, Gary

Little Texas

I JUST WANTED TO TELL U I LOVE LOVIN U.!!!! S.

Joe, Love you BUNCHES!!! Donna

to my dearest rose, i just want to let you know that i am the luckiest man to have such a wonderful wife, friend, and mom to our beautiful daughters. we are very busy working parents, but you always have time to dedicate yourself to giving us so much special attention. i am so lucky that you have been my valentine for the past 25 years. i love you very much there are no gifts to express how much i love you. your husband homero

Traber,

Keirra k d,

We are eagerly anticipating the arrival of Summer Traber. The Single Ladies of Baltimore

JW, Happy V-Day!!!! Love you, gorgeous! 10

Monkey, Bright Eyes, We have known each other for at least 28 yrs, and we still manage to keep in touch through bad times and bad marriages. Our romantic paths keep crossing each other as if it were meant to be. I don’t know what the future holds for each of us, but I know that my feelings for you are as strong as the day we first met. They say that time heals all wounds, and you are certainly proof of that. I haven’t been the kindest person to you, but you still allow me to be in your life and for that I am grateful! When we are together, there is a passionate attraction like know other I have ever known. To this again, I am grateful. :) So as this most passionate day arrives, it only feels right to let you know how much I still feel for you within my heart. I can only dream of the next time I will see you, as I know each day that goes by, is one day too long without you in it! Happy Valentine’s Day Your Ever Loving Jewel

8014 Pula ski Highw ay

Oh, hey babe. Happy Valentine’s Day my little love lobster. I love you loads and can’t wait for our date. So many daisies for you! Give me a kiss! Scruffyloves

You’re the best squishy monster out there and I love youuuuu like I love chocolate cake, medium rare steak, and mango sorbet! Not the combination, but each alone!!! Kisses and Happy Valentine’s day!!!!! Walrus

strange how love is today. it’s so rare to find someone who cares. so young at heart & again an old soul we match. just like a dove you often fly away but always return I wonder why & if love is true. like a flock of birds in the sky three years flew by to pass & review. the ups & downs of love & life took us back & forth but another year has come & gone and we’re still here. three years 36 months 156 weeks 1095 days 26,280 hrs 1,576,800 mins 94,608,000 sec & counting. I love you Keke. I hope you find it important enough to stay another year & focus on our forever. HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY! Maland

Nights Monday

Marie Anne, Hey babe! I’m so glad we met! Happy Valentine’s Day!!! JAK

Happy Valentine’s Day to the sweetest, hottest, sexiest, and greatest wife a guy could ever ask for. I love you soooooooooooo much! Dan

Hanna Jo,

Denise,

JML,

Hi gf! Happy Valentine’s Day! Erika

My Mister, Well, we’re still going strong, almost two years. We’ve had some rough days, but some how have managed to make it through. How we make it past our “knock-

Hey mom it’s your nerve-wrecking son Robi, just wanna say thanks for always being there for me. Even through the hard times and I know I can’t repay you for doin’ all those hard things you did for me through the years but you got me here and I just wanna thank you, moms. Happy Valentine’s Day Robert

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♥READER♥

VALENTINES

Dave,

Lauren,

Your honey pot awaits!

Binx’s Mom,

Tammy,

Happy Valentine’s Day! You are our whole world and we love you! love, Mike and Binx Mike and Binx

Are you an overdue book? Because you’ve got FINE written all over you! Lord Gregorius

Fernando

My Dearest Carmelina,

Roses are Red Your Guitar is Black I love to hear you play Love your Wife and her Rack

It is approaching 22 loving years. When we first met I was attracted to your beauty, as we got to know each other I fell in love with your energy, and love of life, after almost 19 years of marriage we have grown firmly together as a couple. The ride has been amazing. Has it not? Although, we are separate people we are so linked, we are thought of as one. We have seen and experienced a lot of love and life. I’m sure you remember and have valued new experiences like flying, jetsking, sailing, hiking, great beach vacations, and lots of other fun (XOXOXO). We do make an excellent pair and there is nothing we can’t tackle together. We are able and willing to make our own fun. I hope you realize that this is a feat not enjoyed, or preformed by most. But we can and do do it. We still have a lot of living, loving and wildness to continue to do. Join me in never letting it get boring. What a team. Thank you for being on my team. Thank you for being my friend. Thank you for being my wife. Thank you for being my lover. Thank you for being my soulmate. Thank you for being my partner in sin and sex. Thank you for being my traveling companion. Thank you for being my co-pilot. Thank you for being my partner in all things, and thank you for being my valentine. Nekko and I wish you a very Happy Valentine’s Day. Love Ya Babe, Spyder

Queen Bee

Joanne

Steptoe

Lipstick is Red Winter is blue Your the best frontman Baltimore has ever knew Joanne

Joy,

To my Beb: Because of my unbalanced love/ cash ratio, i couldn’t afford to buy you much this year, but i hope this will express my deepest of affections for you. The last eight months of my life have been some of the happiest of my life and i hope you decide to love me for many, many more. Now here’s a poem! My Dearest Dear The Doctors say my obsession is unhealthy As you sneak me in pictures, in shoes, Stealthy They shock my brain every other day And soon they will take my phone calls away To stop me from thinking about your Soft skin And the manner in which you Understand every utterance I make. And the strange sounds you sound That you sound all around. And the bites and tickles and full nelsons Abound, When you always come down down down. They say it’s unhealthy, But I know it’s fine DEar! Fine! So I will fight their therapies and cures and drugs For my yet ?undetermined? amount of years I will fight for the memory of the memory Of my dearest of Dears. I love you, Lauren. Habern

Stefanie, My heart is in need of your love . . . I have made the mistakes to cause the temptation but I am here . . . here to show you the changes . . . here to show you the love that you have shown me over the years . . . I need you . . . my heart is in need of you . . . walk with me and cross these bridges that you are afraid to walk over . . . I have you . . . you won’t have to wonder where my heart lies nor will you have to worry about the heartache . . . I love you and if you haven’t noticed I have given everything up for what you believed in . . . whether it be family, work, or what bothered you . . . and am a work in progress . . . I hope the progression that I have taken . . . leads you to believe that I am true . . . I hope that what these 9 years have been that the next 90 get better . . . I love you Babykins . . . and hope our life will get better . . . your husband wants it and needs it . . . I Melt 24/7 when I hear your name . . . and when I hear you sing . . . I want to dwell in your song . . . please stay mine and say you will always be . . . I love you babe . . . and may we find time for our rendezvous as well. your husband, Thumper Ivan

Mommy,

SEE THESE FULL SIZE (AND SOME IN COLOR) ONLINE AT CITYPAPER.COM/GO/ VALENTINES.

Mr. Bear,

You’re like a damn fine cup of coffee. xoxo E

Thanks for being the best Mommy in the world! Happy Valentine’s Day! I Love You! Mason

LEX, YOU’RE THE GREATEST MAN THAT I KNOW.I LOVE U MORE EACH AND EVERY DAY. HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY. LOVE YA, CARLA

Booba (Michelle), IT SEEMS LIKE YESTERDAY THAT I FELL IN LOVE WITH YOU . . . IT SEEMS LIKE ONLY YESTERDAY THAT YOU SAID YOU LOVED ME, TOO. IT SEEMS LIKE ONLY YESTERDAY FOR OUR LOVE ALWAYS SEEMS SO NEW AND TRUE . . . I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOUR HUSBAND, MICAH

love. Micah, thank you for your love . . . I will love you til the end of time. Your Wifee, Shelby

My Little Amber Poo, There is no book to the journey of life or the road you are destined be mother or wife, will seem at times to have bedrock of fear but never forget my puddin’ pop, I am always near! Watch for the souls who like trees root in soil, for fear that their heart is the thing they will spoil. Don’t let them lead you to alleys of dark, where you’ll be forced to protect your light and your heart. Some live as victors and challenge the past, some never get there and live as a cast. I know of life that the road is not clear, but you have your mom. Amber, I am always here. There is no map to the journey of life, so live to be whole, not just girlfriend or wife. Souls like ours need pasture & plane, and your soul my love will be restless, again and again. As you journey ahead your spirit will speak, it is for home you are heading, it is home that you seek. Where that is only you can find, let your heart lead the way (to mommy) and just follow behind. While I am out here ahead in some way, I hope the signs I write with my life, will help you find your way. Read them and do what you will, at the end of the day its your heart to fulfill. If there was a book to the journey of life, yours would be bound with the pain of my strife. It would heal and protect and ease your pain, and help you find your feet again. The words would be written with the depth of my love and never forget I am with you, be it on earth or above. Amber, no matter what, you will always be mommy’s little princess. I love you now and forever Mommy

My favorite pretzel eater on another year of bliss, I was going to write you a poem, Saying I love you, love you, my love Or make you a playlist iTunes duets, crooners singing I love you, love you, my love. Like freedom our love is precious, Like authenticity love is rare, and how I love you is enormous, so with a few words I’ll share, I’ll make sure I tell you daily Thanks for giving me such happiness this year My dear, And I love you, love you, my love.

Happy Valentine’s Day! You’re the best partner in crime ever! XOXO, Matt

Micah, cut their tongues out Just when you’re feeling LIFE STINKS you should SLIP INSIDE THIS HOUSE and reenter the T.A.Z. and be UNLESASHED! THE LARGE HEARTED BOY. The next time you are thinking “I’M A MESS” I think I need REHAB, that’s the time to DRINK TO ME, BABE, THEN, or should I say us, and stop singing THE JUNKIE SONG. And maybe you just want to GO ON AND PASS ME BY. If so I will NEVER LEARN TO CRY because EVERYTIME IT RAINS it’s crying for me. I WANNA ROO YOU but it seems I am just MAKING TIME I can no longer listen to your words, “LET ME BE YOUR HANDY MAN” I think I need THE MILKMAN OF HUMAN KINDNESS to take over and show some mercy. I just know that THERE’S GOT TO BE SOMEONE FOR ME. All I have left are the FINEST DREAMS. Dreams of WHEN YOU SMILE in the morning LIGHT OF LOVE. And when it’s all said and done you won’t have to wonder WHERE’D YOU GET THAT BRUISE? Just a mark left in the wake. MUMs the word

Throughout my life, I thought I could never love. That is, until you showed me the great things of the world and touched my heart in a way I could never describe. And although, I am a mature woman, I fell in love for the first time! For the first time in my life I feel love flow in my heart. The same heart once thought cold and lifeless fills with glorious joy and happiness because of a man whose spirit is full of passion. Your eyes shine like stars when you are in my presence. Filled with warmth, your smile brings happiness to my existence. I have never known love until now because of the way you, my husband, have touched my heart. You took hold of my soul and showed me the beauty of life’s wonders. Everything that I thought impossible all seems to be within my grasp. I see everything in a new light because of something I thought unworthy to feel love’s tender kiss and I bask in the beauty of love each day because of the feelings of a such a wonderful husband whom I would love now and ‘til my heart beats its final note to life’s great song. You have healed all my mental and emotional wounds and bound me to you for life, with the unbelievable strength of your

Pookie, Just Thought I’d Send You out a lil Valentine mess To Put a Smile On Your face! I LoVe You With all my Heart And i know we were meant For Each other . . . And all I Ever wanted was to Be happy and me being with you makes me that way! I could never picture myself without chu . . . Every Time im Which Chu i have so much fun and we don’t even Have To Be Doing Anything. You’re just a good person to be around. And i feel You’re My Best Friend! You have a Wonderful personality A good sense of humor your the biggest sweetheart I’ve ever met! I just think you’re an all around Good person and you’ve got a heart of gold! I Feel Like The Luckiest Person In The World To Be With A Man Like You! Words can’t even express the way i feel for you, Pooks, all i can do is try to prove my love for you! Well I hope you have a wonderful valentine’s day! And I Cant Wait To Spend the rest of my life with You! I’ll Love you for ever, Jarvis! Happy Valentine’s Day Baby Caitlin

Guy,

I love you. Thank you for Rufus, caverns, adapters, recycling, special coffees, changing light bulbs, moving projectors, mopping, bad jokes on bad days, unwavering support, pillows, inappropriate jokes, fancy dinners, doing the dishes, eating burnt cookies, night shift, eating with a plastic fork, picking the potatoes out of everything before I see it, and the other million things you do to make me happy on a daily basis. Thank for putting up with me. I love you very very much. Sarah

Billy,

John, You make me smile every moment! Thank you, John, I love you. Yoko

Sara, Smart Creative Helpful Entertaining Loving Lady David

Jarvis,

Nenona, Chaumbolis are drawn to you, you cannot impede them Surrender now, for all is gained in Love and all is Lost in Abhorrence Big Punisher

If I can love you with more than all of my heart, I do. You’re the only man I want to be with. I appreciate everything you do. I miss you every time we’re apart. This 6 almost 7 years has gone by so quickly. I’m glad we found each other and I’m yours forever. *Marcia*

Sarah,

kit, i love u with all my heart and the time spent with u has been the best of my life . . . the past 2 yrs have been the happiest for me. ur such a goob and i love u. happy valentine’s day goob

AMBER POO, ON VALENTINE’S, LET YOUR HEART BE FILLED WITH A LOT OF LOVE FOR THE PEOPLE CLOSE TO YOU!!!!!! HAPPY VALENTTINE’S DAY, AMBER. MR. MIKE

Paul my love, My love for you Paul, I know is hard for both of us to quite grasp. But u must realize, I believe it will last way beyond the fantastic art work that was etched into concrete in Hampden. Love, Stephanie

citypaper.com

Bun, I want to declare to the whole world that I love You tremendously. The way You make me feel is a beautiful feeling. Having You in my life has elevated my spirit to new heights. I want You to know I’ll love You always. Always will be there to have Your back. Always cherish the love You give me everyday. Oh yeah, You’re the hottest girl in America. Lil Daddy @ Reggie

Chubby Butt, You know I love that fat thing! Happy Valentine’s Day! Mike

FEBRUARY 11, 2009

city paper | 15


♥READER♥

VALENTINES

Tamara,

BE SEE HO0W HE LONGED FOR THIS FEAST FEELING IT THROUGH MORNING AND EVENING ASK HIS STORY HEAR HIM OUT LIGHT YEARS ARE OUR UNIVERSE LESS AN OVERLY BALMY RED SUMMER SKY GO WANDER ACROSS THE EARTH LEAVE THERE OFFER WERE THESE BLOOM THESE WORDS CANT BEGIN TO DESCIBE MY LOVE FOR HER BUT NOW YOU KNOW AT LEAST A LITTLE OF IT SHE EVEN MAKES HEARTS MARK

Don’t be sad. You are loved by the whole crew: Bier, Ferd E. Birds, Titties, Fidel, and that buttmunch, Nate. Cakes

T. Joseph,

Krystal Myers,

T-otally passionate in his beliefs, O-rnery as hell but that’s just him, M-akes me eggs while I sleep, M-akes me laugh & smile, Y-es I love him. You inspire me every day. Thanks for being you. Laura

Babe u have been my heart since we were 14 years old. Now that were are older and much wiser u still take my breath away everytime i see ur beautiful face. You’ve grown over the years too be a stong woman and im glad to be able to say that you are mine. You are my everything! Happy Valentine’s Day. Skip

Jamz, I can promise you that by the time we are through the world will never be the same. I’ll follow you into the dark. Pinky-swear. Happy 1st Valentine’s Day. Ladybug

TO THE LOVE OF MY LIFE, MY HUBBY DARRICK, Honey, this is a small token of my undying love for you. I’m so proud to be your wife, your lover, your friend, your confidant. I thank God for you every day of my life. My love runs deeper than I can express. Here’s to wishing the both of us MANY, MANY, MORE. HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY! Your Wife, Wanda

Our 2nd Valentine’s together and many more to come. Thank you for my baby boy. We shall meet him next month! I love you 4eva. marz

Candela

Clintax

CB,

Kate

Hey disco-shaker Our baby maker Hey cannot decide I couldn’t imagine a better ride You are so hot And never tame This has been an incredible game All of the things that you let me know From the middle of the sun I grow and grow I want you now I want you always I need you daily I love you forever Joe

Kathryn, Christine, and Katy, Yesterday brought the beginning, tomorrow brings the end, and somewhere in the middle we became the best of friends—let’s make these last couple months the best. I love you girls. Jessica

Morganaface

Dave,

The dictionary defines timing as “the result or effort thus achieved”, the result of us is perfect timing. We are meant to be together, and I can’t imagine spending another day of my life without you in it! I want nothing more than to please you and make you happy, because everyday you do the same for me. Have a wonderful Black Love Day G. Hunter

Daddy-O, You got the swagger of a champion Too bad for you You just can’t find the right companion I guess when you have one too many, Makes it hard, it could be easy Who you are, that’s just who you are, baby Maybe if we both lived in a different world It would be all good, And maybe I could be your girl But I can’t ‘cause we don’t You... Womanizer Woman-Womanizer You’re a womanizer Oh Womanizer Oh You’re a Womanizer Baby You, You You A r e Yo u , Yo u Yo u A r e Wo m a n i z e r, Womanizer, Womanizer I’m crazy for loving you, but I do. xoxo, Me

Tiffany,

Mein Liebling,

baby girl,

Du machst alles ehrfurchtgebietend! Ich liebe dich!! Grun Augen

just saying that everyday every moment with you means more to me than words and despite what they have said you know i love you and you know this is always and forever and no one will ever take your place or come b4 you in my life and my heart . . .

luke, I love You :) Happy Valentine’s Day Your Honey

give to me, all that you do for me. Together, we can live life to the fullest. I’m so glad we found each other. HAROLD, YOU’RE MY EVERYTHING TODAY, TOMORROW, AND ALWAYS. NOTHING WOULD MAKE ME HAPPIER THAN TO SPEND MY FOREVER WITH YOU!!!!!!!!!! Loving you forever, Amy

Ebony A.,

Courtney Brooke, I Love You Be Mine, Valentine Joe

My Sweetheart, Ontay, Morgana

Cliff W.,

Ashlee, Hey lil’ Bun, Hola Corazon de Melon. Thank you for making me the happiest woman alive. You’re such an amazing human being who is so passionate and dedicated to everything you do. I can’t believe our Five-Year Anniversary is coming up so soon. It’s been the best five years of my life, especially with Che and Evita =). Tepe apa mopo mupu chopo! Love, Tu Nica MRA MRA MRA loverrrrrr! You’re going to Valentine’s dinner with some other sweetheart but I lurrrrrvs you, baby! I even lurvs your gluten intolerance, your celiac’s disease, and your faulty liver—for the last thing, I blame myself. ESKIMO KISSES!!! Camel regs, steak dinner, and red wine. Have a beautiful Valentine’s Day and I will see you tonight. In mah bed. Katie

Shawn

The Tiger,

I thought you might recognize these. I Love You! Mike

Baby (Francis), You broke my heart ‘Cause I couldn’t dance You didn’t even want me around And now I’m back, to let you know I can really shake ‘em down

Mary and Dave,

Robby

It’s a hard life when you are small and round, and don’t have any arms, but you make the best of it. Your steamed dough is soft and your BBQ pork filling sweet. You’re doing a good job being independent. But, whenever life gets you cold and crusty, remember there’s always a baker to lovingly put you back in a nice steamer so you can be warm and soft again. Being a lil’ Bun is not easy, but you don’t have to roll around this world alone. There will always be a Baker to take care of you. The Baker

My Army Ruler!!!!!!,

Happy Valentine’s Day! Tressa Happy Valentine’s Day. Love you! Baby Dee

TO THE ONE AND ONLY SALLY,

I FOUND THE POEM I WROTE WITH THE MAGNETIC CALANDER AND THOUGHT I’D SHARE IT WITH ALL BALTIMORE SO EVERYONE COULD SEE HOW MUCH I LOVE YOU.TO THE WOMEN WITH THE BIGGEST HEART IN MARYLAND. LOVE MARK WHY I CELEBRATE MY LOVE LET ME TELL YOU WHY YOU ARE LIKE A THOUSAND DREAMS COME TO LIFE SPIRITED AS A SPRING DAY YET LIKE BREATH AS SECRET WHISPERS RELENT AFTER ALL AND HER SHADOW SHALL DANCE ABOUT WITH THE SUN AND MOON HERE SHE WAS WARMING THE COLD STRANGER WHAT EVER TIME WILL

16 | city paper

papi

B. Weems, You are more then the apple of my eye more than the wind beneath my wings, you my love are my everything, my yin to my yang, my peanut better in a jam, baby I am so glad we took the plunge on the beach in Jamaica the ocean breeze to our backs and our feet on the gorgeous white sands. I love you more then words can describe you are my king and I am your queen we complete each other 360 degrees. Love Eternally, A. Weems

Angus,

FEBRUARY 11, 2009

citypaper.com

You are the love of my life. I love you so much, and can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you. Happy Valentine’s Day ! Your love, Ryan

HAROLD, On Valentine’s Day, I’m thinking of all the things you are that make life more interesting and exciting, and blessed, so much better in every way than it would be without you. HAROLD, YOU’RE MY FRIEND . . . You support me, encourage me, bring out the best in me. I trust you and feel completely safe with you, so I can share with you my hopes, my dreams, and even secrets I’ve never told anyone else. You’ve created a refuge for me to come to when I need to escape from the hard edges of life. HAROLD, YOU’RE MY LOVER . . . When we explore every part of each other, touching, teasing, creating ecstatic fever in each other, such sweet torment—I marvel that we can create together such astonishing pleasure. With you, I feel satisfied, complete, wild and peaceful at the same time. I’ve never felt this way with anyone else. HAROLD, YOU’RE MY PARTNER . . . You let me know that whatever life hands me I’ll have you on my side to help me. I’m grateful for all that you

Everyone I Love, Happy Valentine’s Day to my son, Marlon, my family, my new apartment, my best friends DeAnna, Lauren, and Makeda, my coworkers at Zen West, my co-workers at Fleming Transportation, my old co-workers from Uno’s, the city of Baltimore, and Barack Obama! Thanks to all of you for making my life joyous, hilarious, inspired, and full of love. Anise

Chadd, I just wanted to tell you how much I truly love and adore your presence in my life. I know it is not easy to love me, but somehow you have managed the task. I like to think loving me is preparing you for something bigger like saving the world. On that note keep up the good work. Happy Valentine’s Day, Chaddy! Summer Joy

Well where should i began? it’s been 4 amazing years & 6 wonderful months since the two of us became one. Through all the heartache, pain, & tears we stuck together. We have a beautiful little girl who lights up my day. I told you 2009 is going to be our year and as you can see were only in Feb. and my word is still going strong. You are my rock, my everything i could not image life without you. To me that is impossible. We may still me young in age but we old and wise when it comes to our love, commitment, strength, wisdom, and trust. I love you dearly and wish us nothing but the best! Loving you since August 2004 your one & only, Ashley S.

Just wanted to let you know that you are the sunshine in my life. I love you more and more each day. Hope to spend the rest of my life with you. Thanks for sticking by my side. Sugar P

James B., Just wanted to say “Happy Birthday and Valentine’s Day, Daddy.” Love, Renee, April, and DJ

Sweet P, Your snoring is sometimes heard, Straight down the Chesapeake Bay, But despite my sleepness nights, Baby, I love your way. Your guitar hero

DJD, Mommy loves you. You are the greatest. Happy Valentine’s Day, Lil Derek.

ASG, Life is just a funny dream And someday I’ll share this dream with you Just to be with you This much I pray It’s true, it’s true, it’s true, it’s true, it’s true, it’s true SMR

RAB

Patty, Thanks for all the support and giving me the chance to be able to love again, despite all the pain involved! Michael

My dearest Kim, You are the kindest, most naturally loving, sweetest-natured, smartest, funniest, cutest and sexiest, wisest and most noblehearted, a truly good man, my favorite sentient being. You are my ideal companion, and everyday knowledge of your love makes me a better person. Just being near you, sweetheart, is a purer joy than I could have imagined. Will you live with me and be my own true love, from this day forward? Your Sherry

To Rebecca and Catherine, I wanted you both to know I will always love you and be here for you, no matter what you do or say. My love for you has always been unconditional and without any strings. You will always have a father’s love no matter what ever comes! I wish you both a fabulous Valentine’s Day! Your loving dad (Michael)

The Sweetie, Everyday you make me smile. And that means so much. BR

Baltimore Bands, I love you all so much. I might not get out to see you as much as I would like, but I’m always thinking about you and wish only the best for you. The Baltimore Taper

Tammy, With this final piece, now our puzzle is complete. So much that I seek to rhyme like a geek. I did good to love you. Forever, E.K. Erik


Baltimore Roses are Red Violets are Blue Don’t be a Snatch Block Love The Winter Crew of Pride of Baltimore II

Mon Chapeau, Je T’aime Beacoup . . . Bec Bec mj

KDL!, I love you! Remember Poppleton? I keep it on my bike lock . . . yours truly

strong and beautiful man and extremely patient with my crazy bipolar behind i know i put you through crap sometime about are you cheating but i know you’re not its just because sometimes i find myself not knowing why you wouldn’t because at times i feel as if i don’t deserve you and I’m not gonna lie at other times i feel i want to beat your a** lol but i wont and i love you but oh for this valentine’s day let me beat in you king of the fighters just once that can be my vday from you cus you cheat you damn game hawk n e way i love you 143 Kim

BLUE,

JAZZY,

ROSES ARE RED SOMETIMES THEIR BLUE ALL THIS LOVE BELONGS TO YOU! CHOCOLATE IS SWEET LEMONS ARE TART JAY IS DELICIOUS, BLUE IS MY HEART! ON OUR FIRST VALENTINE’S I PROMISE YOU LOVE AND A SPECIAL GIFT. BETTER THAN FLOWERS, SWEETER THAN CANDY. BEYOND PRESENTS ONE CAN SEE, I GIVE YOU THIS PRECIOUS GIFT . . . I GIVE YOU ME! BABY I WANT YOU TO KNOW I AM SO GLAD THAT YOU ARE IN MY LIFE, YOU MEAN SO MUCH TO ME AND I LOVE YOU WITH MY WHOLE HEART. SMOOCHES LOVEBUCKET. BLUEJAY

MOMMY LOVES U WITH ALL HER HEART. SANDY

Ronald, Carlos,

Motel kisses, Delaware kisses, kisses with the sounds of the couple upstairs. Getting better doing ok feeling great kisses. Salty kisses, happy sweet and funny kisses. Shoes on shoes off, socks on socks off kisses. Hello and see you soon, can’t wait to be with you again kisses.

Brian,

What happened to the “happy couple”? Our days of topless Wii gaming and dining out at Mike’s? Making out in the brush at Quiet Waters? Bring back the love, my dear. We were meant to be. Your true love

The Anne Arundel Boardgames Meetup, You guys are the coolest ever! I (heart) you! Christy

Christy “Lil C,” Donnell C., Love of my life for 16 years! You are my best friend! TLINS Keysha C.

Logan,

Brandon,

Siafa,

Thanks for f*&%ing me all year without being my boyfriend while we’ve seen other people. D.M.P.

You are the best boyfriend I could ever ask for. You love me unconditionally and that means the world to me. You make my heart smile and I love you lots and lots. Love, Joy

Lil C, you are the best girlfriend and friend ever. I love you more than you can imagine. The past three years have been great and I look forward to many more. I cannot go 10 minutes without thinking about you. Happy Valentine’s Day, beautiful! Love, Shade

Donte, we have been through hell and high water together we have had ones try to come in and break us we have had homes lost homes and gained homes again we have been through wars and triumphs. Our 4+ years together has definitely been an EXPERIENCE but i am so grateful for everything and all the lessons i have learned and the strengths and wisdoms i have obtained. You are a

Doctor Dear, Loving you in our precious stolen moments is a lifeline through my hectic, pressured days. Our conversations gleam, a treasure trove of thinking/feeling gems. Gripping you, holding on, I feel . . . I feel . . . and I don’t want to let go. Non-attachment be damned. Yours, Divinity

I will always remember the time we met I will always cherish the adventures we had I will always treasure you Kristy

THANK YOU FOR GIVING LIFE TO ME 29 YEARS AGO. YOU ARE AN AMAZING WOMAN. I LOVE YOU YOUR DAUGHTER (CARLA)

Ragaei, my hope, my love,

You’re the best thing that has ever happened to me. Happy Valentine’s Day.

I have never ever loved no one like I have loved you. You were my first and will be my last. Love Lifelong Nio

MY MOTHER (SHAN),

Theresa,

I love you and I miss you. Please come home. Our home is a prison without you. So Happy Valentine’s Day. I hope the sun’s out in New York. All my love. Andrew If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing. Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears. When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known. And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love Heather

Juicy Bottom Lip, Timbo, Thanks for being the love of my life. Your Bear

My heart belongs to you. Happy Valentine’s Day. PigFoot

Twine,

We might be poor, but at least I can still say I love you in a free City Paper ad. Let’s cook up some ramen and make it a Valentine’s Day to remember. Love you. D

Roy,

Thank you for the best three years ever. Happy Valentine’s Day/Anniversary. I love you!!! xox Alice

MY TAY,

I never thought this thing we have would last, but I’m proud to say that we have “a past.” Though times are tough feelin like you’ve had enough and you want no more of the love I give, I feel like I no longer have a reason to live. I’ll give my all ‘til I have no more because it’s you and you only I adore. I love your smile—it compliments mine. Your style, your swagger, and how you love to shine. You make me whole: mind, body and soul. I want to be with you ‘til the end of time, for you to forever be with a dime. Can’t wait till the day i become your wife, but I’m takin’ you with me on the ride of my life. I LOVE MY TAY !!! HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY!!!! KESHIA

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citypaper.com

FEBRUARY 11, 2009

city paper | 17


♥READER♥

VALENTINES

Divinity,

Nip, Cre, Fig & Rin,

Today. For you and with you, I revel in today. The books we have read shadow and mirror each other, while we start writing new pages together. Kismet, providence, or just remarkable coincidental coincidence . . . it doesn’t matter why. Now, I give and take today with you. Doctor

David,

Robby, my BFF, my LOML,

in words never written never spoken on a day so long forgotten a day never well spent i remember another, a first, my only, a man that ceases to exist with little memory; i haven’t a clue. i see him in my mind, from time to time with my eyes and wonder if he knows i do and still i wait still i wish still i pray still i love only him more than any other he knows who he is but i call him DAVID. happy valentine’s day T an old friend.

I knew we were soulmates before 2008 challenged that notion. You have grown and loved me in ways I never knew were possible. You have become the most amazing man and I look forward to our lifetime together. Debbie & Dharma, your girlz

Herman, From the day we met I knew this was something special and with each day my love has grown. Even though our journey began many months ago it will continue on for ever more. Happy Valentine’s Day, baby. Loving you with all my heart, Tiffany

Bill, Mirwanda aka Daddy, Happy Valentine’s Day to the love of my life. I have never been happier than I have been since we started our life together. I hope you know how much I love and appreciate you. Thank you for being the best hersband any wife could ask for!! Tamara aka Lovey One

With every passing that goes by, you are more and more on my mind. I know that because of your positon status in the “family,” it’s not easy for us to be together, but I do love you and want to spend my life with you. Hugs and kisses to you today and everyday! Brandi

Lisa, My Queen and Love

Andrew,

You are my only reason for living. I would be lost without you. xoxo Robert

hey babe it’s been a year since we been together we had some rough patches, but all in all i just want to say i love you. Kyle ‘N’ Andrew <3 Kyle

DONTAY,

Tija,

YOU ARE THE LOVE OF MY LIFE. WE HAVE BEEN TOGETHER FOR 14 1/2 YEARS AND WE SHARE A FAMILY TOGETHER AND I WOULD NOT CHANGE THAT FOR THE WORLD. WE HAVE BEEN TO HELL AND BACK AND WE HAVE FINALLY MADE IT ON EARTH. IT WAS A LOT OF WORK AND IT WILL BE,BUT AFTER EVERYTHING THAT WE HAVE BEEN THROUGH WE STILL ARE A FAMILY. I LOVE YOU DONTAY, ALWAYS, FOREVER. SHERICE.

We met in ’07. Finally got it poppin’ in ’09. Now we can get our tattoos. I’ll love you always! Ty aka Daddy

Jennifer,

ALEC,

Genna, You are the most beautiful “soon to be nurse” in Baltimore! Past 3 and a half years have been the most amazing years of my life. I look forward to many, many more to come. Thank you for being wonderful and I love you with all my heart. Brandon

Jasie,

I didn’t know what I wanted until I met you. Thanks for being my “Big O.” I love you like a fat brotha loves ham. :) Your Scorpio

Sidney,

10-10-01. The date that we first became official, this date has a permanent marking on my heart for I cannot undo all that we have experienced, created and been blessed with in this time. Since I have known you, I have not only loved you and cared for you, but I have truly learned from you. All the romanticism and cliche sayings could not truly express my feelings for you because it goes much deeper than I love you or Be mine. We are so much more than the titled boyfriend and girlfriend. Best friend is just the tip of it, because you are my co-jokester, the one who gets me completely, you are my support system...not only the one I turn to when I have had a bad day, but the one I can fully rely on and trust. I did give you my heart, but you have given me so much more. Thank you for being mine. I love you. Happy Valentine’s Day Boo-Boo! Love Always and Forever, EG (your pie)

Handsome and strange Sweet cinephile of mine. Let’s stay married! April

P.S. I bet you thought I couldn’t top the engraved M&M’s—HAHA—How ‘bout an ad in City Paper?!?!

Alex, “Your love life can get you through any circumstance.” Katy

You are the one and only true captor of my heart! I love you! Suzanne

When you see this you’re going to be a bit confused since you’re not actually within the range of City Paper circulation, but that makes it more unexpected when you get it in the mail. Happy Valentine’s Day! Greg Morgana

Matthew, moriah, ahmaud, dierra, and little romi, happy valentine’s day from granny with much love granny

LF,

happy valentine’s day to the best kids in the world with much love from me to you mom

Ally,

Freia’s Daddy, I thought you “got me.” And now you aren’t even talking to me. Can I at least have my panties back? The Girl that Drives you Randomly to Casinos

FEBRUARY 11, 2009

citypaper.com

Mommy, You will forever be my sweetheart. Love Always and Forever, Amber Poo

We have been together for 5 years now. Every day I love you more and more. Even though we spend everyday together 24 hrs. I don’t ever get tired of you. We have been through a lot together and I can’t wait to create more happy memories together. I love you and I wish us both lots of love together. your rheachka

Lisa

Mary and Dave, Happy Valentine’s Day! I love you so much. Kisses and Hugs. Rachel Bear

-Love you guys! Happy V-Day! Delaina

Aaron,

kenny, debbie and rome,

I Love You

I’m so glad you mine. Scale one to 10 you ‘bouta couple of dimes. BO

Laura!,

Cheryl,

Alvin T.,

HERE IS A POEM FOR MY LOVE, THE ONE SENT TO ME BY THE MAN ABOVE. YOU CAME TO ME ON A SUMMER BREEZE, WITH A LOVE THAT SOARS ABOVE THE TREES. YOU SHARE YOUR SMILE AND LAUGHTER WITH ALL, AND PROVIDE A LOVE THAT MAKES YOUR MAN STAND TALL. THAT 3 DAYS WITHOUT SLEEP MADE ME SEEM CRAPPY, BUT INSIDE ALL I FELT WAS HAPPY. I LOVE YOUR HEART AND I LOVE YOUR HEARTS , WHAT I DON’T LOVE IS THE SMELL OF YOUR FARTS. NOW THAT MY LOVE FOR YOU HAS BEEN PENNED, ALL I KNOW THAT MY LOVE FOR YOU WILL NEVER END. LOVE ALWAYS, MARK

Jay

“In the black darkness of the deep sea, the tiny male anglerfish detects and follows the scent trail of a female of his own species. Once found, he bites his chosen one and hangs on. His skin fuses to hers, their bodies grow together. They mate for life.” Erin

You make my heart want to hop out of my chest Jack

You’re so good to me. Thanks for the last 10 months. ILU Rhonda

James, Who would have thought that Maslow’s Pyramid would be important to me outside of class? I love you and look forward to being old and cranky with you. Oh, my god, the kid in the helmet. Yes. And look at him! xo Your Katie

The Timm, Loving you is like trying to fly with a secondday stack of flapjacks settled in my gut, but somehow I still do. B

Ah, finally, someone as cracked as me. Love ya muchly! The Linda

Sarah,

Rob F., You are my best friend, my partner in crime, and my soulmate. No one has ever made me as happy as I am with you, and I know no one ever will. Thank you for making my life better with every passing second. Happy Valentine’s Day! Mel C.

Matthew, When the night is darkest, And everyone is sleeping, I lay awake and think of how I love you so!! Wondering what it is about you, That makes me want, Love, And need you so, Then I silently laugh to myself. For

SALLY WHITE,

Michael,

Stevie,

I am so lucky to be married to you, precious porkchop! Thank you for the wonderful life we have together. You are my Valentine every day! Marcie

You’re my honey pie sugar lump pumpyumpyumpkin you’re my sweetie pie. you’re my cuppycake gumdrop schnookemschnookem sauce (neopets?) the apple of my eye. and I love you so and i waaaant you to know that i’ll always be right hee-uh. and i love to sing my songs to you because (kiss) you (kiss) are (kiss) soooooo (kiss) dee-uh. i love you baby doll. Joe

SUGAR,

You’ll always be my beef and noodle macaroni. Heathie

My Ruska,

Pete,

You are the best and make me smile everyday. Happy Valentine’s Day! Your little nugget

I know our marriage has never followed the rules. We’ve never been the kind of fairy-tale couple you see in the movies. It seems like we’re either head over heels in love or crazy with frustration. We’re not perfect, and neither is this marriage. But you know what? This is our marriage. I mean, all ours the little jokes that only we understand, the way our hands all by themselves find each other ’s, and the memories that seem so wonderful now that we look back. Our marriage will never be perfect, but it will always be an important part of me. And I know that I’d rather be real with you than fairy tale with anyone else. I don’t know what’s in store for us. But I know I want you in my life. I know I love you with my heart mind body an soul!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HAPPY VALENTINE‘S DAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOUR HUSBAND (MIKE C.)

Brucey Bear,

Snobear,

Lucas,

SHELBY,

I don’t know where this road will end. But I am grateful that in all the millennium that the world has turned, I got my time on Earth to spend with you Your Husband

Cocobeach! I love you and miss you so much! Thanks for being my first Valentine! Rolius Polius

Meaghan,

Although I will enjoy all the romantic excess of this holiday, I’m so thankful that everyday I feel loved and appreciated. I’m blessed to be in such a loving, supportive, egalitarian (!) relationship. You’re a brilliant and wonderful man. “We’ll see.” “Indeed.” I love you. Jamyla

Shaunte,

Every day with you has been nothing less than the best day of my life. You never, ever let me down and always keep me laughing. I love you more and more as time goes on. Happy Anniversary. Nicole

I cannot believe that we have been married almost a year. You are my dreamgirl and I will always love you! Steve

Lee,

My Taurus ,

My sweetest Jason,

HAPPY “YOU AND ME” DAY! I LOVE YOU SO MUCH AND NOW ALL THE LITERATE PEOPLE OF BALTIMORE KNOW, WHICH IS LIKE 15% BUT AS LONG AS YOU KNOW, THAT’S ALL THAT MATTERS . . . DAYDEE BABY, DUH!

18 | city paper

I love you girls! Have a saucy Valentine’s Day! Tat

I know that this list, Could go on forever, It is how I have no worries, When I am with you, How when you smile, My heart skips a beat. It is how when I am with you, Nothing else matters, It is how I can say, “I love you”, Without hesitation. It is the way you make me feel so safe, And secure. It is how I am incomplete without you, It is the way you embrace me, With arms so gentle and strong. It is the way you kiss, And turn my world upside down, I become putty in your hands. It is the way my world revolves around you, You have become my everything. It is how you laugh, It is how you talk, You show such compassion. It is how when I am down, The thought of you cheers me up, It is the way you took my heart, Without knowing it, And how I gave it so willingly, There was no hesitation or doubt. It is the way I’m so ready to give up anything for you, It is how you are irresistibly amazing, You are in every way possible, It is how I’d be lost without you, It is how I could go on forever, Saying why I love you so, It is just the way I love you, With a love, So deep . . . So true . . . So pure . . . So real . . . It is for these reasons, Why I will be forever yours!! And, even forever is far too short. I simply love, And completely ADORE you so much!! Kirk

Last year I pretended that message from the other Megan+Matthew was mine. This time, its really from me. I’m seriously not kidding, I’m going to love you forever. Megan

You are my love and my world. I am beyond words to describe what you mean to me. All I hope is that you know how much I love you each and every day. Together we can accomplish anything. Happy Valentine’s Day. Love, James


Roland,

trese,

I Love you and am glad to have you as a husband. Monica

pilsbury ain’t got nuffin on my bixkit. happy valentine’s day LUV!!!!!!!! ed

Tierra, Earl, and Jordan,

Christopher,

I’m secretly in love with your bar, Bad Decisions. It knows how to wash away the fuzzy aftertaste of a long day and hit my taste-buds G spot! (+25pts = 1930) Thirsty at UMBC

You’re a real trip. But we compliment each other well. Love ya’ Happy V Day! Tom

Tyla and Madison,

Kristin,

I love both of you very much. Y’all are my inspiration and revenge for Tierra. Granny

I love all of you unconditionally. Your Mother Monica Sheila, I love you. Thanks for giving me life. Monie

Elissa,

Magnificent Bastard (of the Harm City Homicide Men’s Roller Derby),

I’ve loved you since I first saw you as you were walking down the hallway in 9th grade. I remember having to casually ask people what your name was to keep down any suspicion that I had a crush. I love you. Aaron

Mama Jalapeno,

Chelsea!, I can’t believe this is our 2nd Valentine’s Day together . . . you make me the happiest guy in the world & meeting you was the best thing to ever happen to me! I love you with all of my heart & want to thank you for being the best friend in the world! Love always, Bob

Christopher - c2, From the moment our eyes met, there was an unexplainable connection that drew us closer together. A connection that our hearts knew before our minds comprehend. A connection that most people only experience in their best dreams. A connection that has stood strong and grown deeper everyday for almost 3 years now. You truly are my love, my life, my best friend . . . the love I never knew could exist between a man and a woman. I love you so ver y much, babydoll! Happy Valentine’s Day! Christina - c2 You are the BEST Mommy, Every day, Always, I Love You! Darbey

DUMB BUNNY,

Asshole, Even though the circumstances have pulled us apart, you’ll always have a place in my heart. (Look . . . I’m a poet and I was not aware.) Take care of yourself, hon. Bitch

Happy Valentine’s Day to my husband, best friend, and soulmate. Thank you for making me the happiest girl in the world— I love you. Erin

To my heart and soul, I always knew that we were made for each other since we laid eyes on each other way back in ’87. That’s a long time 20 yrs going on 21, but who would have thought we’d be together that long let alone last through the good times and the bad!!! But thanks for being my lover and a friend and know that you’ll always have the both of them in me. Happy Valentine’s and always I LOVE YOU!!! Fr o m t h e “ B e s t Fr i e n d ” t h a t y o u ’ l l ever have!!! NIKKI

Big Sexy,

Noggles,

Joe Amaroso, DC Manwich, the Foo-Jay, Free Bird, and The SeaHawk and vie for your love. Please don’t disappoint us . . . Your nestmates

I wish you and your stinky foreskin could be my Valentine, but I’ll settle for hugs. Partly Cloudy

TEE,

Brian P.,

ROSES ARE RED VIOLETS ARE BLUE SUGAR IS SWEET AND SO ARE YOU. HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY BABY.

Will you marry me?

Happy Valentine’s Day!! Here’s to a lifetime of soaking in a hot tub with a glass of B&B. Love Always, SMART ASS

Dear Mikey, I Love You Karen, & I want to spend the rest of my life with you. WILL YOU MARRY ME? HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY James

Chris, What a pleasant surprise “us” has been. You make me feel beautiful on even the most cowlicky of mornings. Here’s to many more. Colleen

Peter,

MY SNUGS!, I love you and every memory we’ve made so far! Little butt

My Sweet Yottie, GARTRELL

RB, Love your little dances In and out of the bedroom You still do all the things That make me swoon Bend over backwards To keep a smile on your face Excited how things are shaping up In our little place Times are tight And sometimes crappy But thank you so much For making me so happy. xxoo

you’ve been driving me nuts for the better part of 6 years now. it won’t even matter Jane, if the world ends in 2012, ‘cause i’m sure My wife, I just wanted you to know i’ll be certifiable by then. but it’s all worth Yo u a r e b e a u t i f u l , e x t r a o r d i n a r i l y it when you smile at me. that smile gets wonderful, you breakfast in the mornThat I love you. I need your ing and the good stuff at love with me. night. it gets me through Jay LOTS MORE bad days and makes good PICTURES THAT ones better. that smile has DIDN’T FIT saved your ass more than The Ex-Doper (aka The a few times. i love that Wench on the Bench), (SORRY) ONLINE AT smile, and i love you. Lifetimes ago, a Valentine CITYPAPER.COM/ yours—then, now and alin the Yale Daily read “I GO/VALENTINES. ways, don’t need ’ludes when lina I’m with you.” Although I am not now with you, you will always be The Love of my Life. My bad. HVD Forever. Georg, Preppy Redneck I will love you forever and ever Simonsen

Sexy Blue Haired New Mexican, Rob, JB

Love of mine, someday you will die, but not until we have a bitchin’ year! I love you! Christina

Even if you don’t know how many of King Henry VIII’s wives were axed off, that doesn’t change how I feel about you. You are a Good Thing—I’ll twist your balloon animal any time you want. The One Who Looks in Medicine Cabinets

scg9770, You are perfect and I love you. rgr8

Brianne!,

Joe D.

n.,

Happy Valentine’s Day, baby. We win at love!!! XOXO Roxy

LEONARD, WITH ALL THE LOVE,

You have not only filled my life with the most cutting edge extreme glamour and fashion, but you have given me so much love that it makes me feel as if I am constantly trying to digest a nine-course meal. I love you more than Pork Adobo. Forever Yours, Vera Pelt

Slam,

It seems like just yesterday we lost FOREVER, And I have to admit it, At one point we almost lost today. But when tomorrow comes, Please remember that no matter what, I love you ALWAYS!!! Lee You lite up my world . . .and fill my ears with your shrill love calls. At least I think they’re your calls. I don’t speak Italian . . . Poppa Bird

b, I can’t wait to move into our new home! I love you!! David

Karen,

Della,

Mamma Bird,

Wilma Martinez, The Most Beautiful Woman in The World,

I feel like the time we we’re apart is barely a blip. I love you more than San Diego ever could! Your Girl

I love you so much! As we approach our young 5th anniversary, I can’t imagine being with anyone else. I have had so much fun in our 13+ years and look forward to adventures to come. I am so excited that we decided to have our own family in 2009 and I love you. SURPRISE! Nikki California

Daddy, I just had to do this. Maybe we should be celebrating Valentine’s Day with a stoning and a beheading (at the very least) since they were (he was?) martyrs instead of posting cute loveydovey ads in City Paper and exchanging pink and red cards and chocolates. Just wanted you to know I’m thinking of you. Your P4

Thank you. I don’t know what I would do without you sometimes. You have the beauty of the moon and the heart of a child that runs with knives. I love you so much. I am very happy to have you in my life. Happy Valentine’s Day! Nick

Adam, For the last few weeks, talking with you has been the highlight of my days. I think you are such a brilliant and amazing man, and you never fail to put a smile on my face. I can’t wait to see you again. Until then, Happy Birthday! . . . and of course, Happy Valentine’s Day. Erica

Mr. S, Who said it’s not fun being on the back of the bus? I want my morning tune-ups back!!! Happy Valentines Day!!!! Your Favorite Rider!!!

Andrea (of Pariah Piranha), You are the drummer for my favorite local band. You are freakin’ gorgeous. I have a massive fan crush on you. We should totally gay marr y in Massachusetts! Please?! Anonymous Androgynous

Jasmin, Moomy loves you and always will. You are my Babycakes Happy Valentine’s Day! Love Your Mom Ryan ■

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FEBRUARY 11, 2009

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FEBRUARY 11, 2009

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ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT

himself missing the East Coast and the Baltimore/Washington jazz community. “I found there was immediFILM/22 ate gratification to playing with Sonny Stitt on a pick-up gig or MUSIC/23 with Ethel Ennis at her club in IMPRINTS/26 Baltimore that was different from the delayed gratification of ART/28 arranging,” he says. “So I started STAGE/30 putting more energy into playing. In D.C., I met Marc Copland, FREE who was known as Marc Cohen RANGE/32 then, and started playing with him a lot. To me, the best jazz is a combination of the emotional and the intellectual, and Marc’s playing is like that—it’s really smart, but it has a lot of heart. It’s also very democratic—he really BY GEOFFREY HIMES gets right in there with you and improvises. He has taught me so much over the years. He took me IT’S NOT OFTEN THAT A MUSICIAN GETS to come back to his old school as the leader of an all-star band, under his wing when I was 19 and but that’s what Drew Gress did when he returned to Towson University the week after Thanksgiving very green and basically taught in 2006. Gress, a graduate of the school’s jazz program, was joined at the Kaplan Concert Hall by four me how to hear.” Copland’s terof New York’s finest jazz musicians—alto saxophonist Tim Berne, pianist Craig Taborn, trumpeter rific new piano-trio album, Night Ralph Alessi, and drummer Tom Rainey—the line-up that had just made Gress’s 2005 album, 7 Black Whispers, features Gress as both Butterflies, and that would go on to make his 2008 disc, The Irrational Numbers. a bassist and a composer. Gress stuck it out in Baltimore/ Gress, the tallest member of the pushing everything forward. on Feb. 13, Gress performs with a Washington jazz for 11 years after band, stood behind his big-bellied “That tune started with that group of Towson students. Before graduating from Towson in 1981, upright bass in an untucked blue bass line that drives itself into the Friday show, Gress hosts a pre- but eventually made the move to shirt, tan slacks, and receding red the ground,” Gress explains over concert discussion about his muNew York in 1992. He had a few hair. He guided the group through the phone from New York. “I was sic and his days in Maryland. contacts, such as Eskelin and piaseven of his own compositions, trying to write music that keeps He first came to the school in nist Fred Hersch, but the bassist’s which proved far more ambitious changing over a bass line that 1977, drawn by Hank Levy, the main strategy was to play in evthan the usual verse-chorus-bridge doesn’t. Sometimes thinking of legendary arranger for Stan ery situation he could—whether structure of most jazz tunes. Each something extra-musical helps Kenton and later the head of it was an informal get-together of Gress’ pieces offered several me come up with solutions. In this Towson’s jazz department. at a friend’s apartment or a club’s themes, often counterpointed case, I visualized eating spumoni Gress had started composing at open jam-session—just to get his Pennsylvania high school, heard. It worked; The word-ofand now he wanted to write ex- mouth spread and soon he was “TO ME, THE BEST JAZZ IS A pansive, orchestral jazz pieces. getting paying work. COMBINATION OF THE EMOTIONAL In Levy, Gress had an expert at And he thrived on the city’s such work and in the school’s big energy. “It was overwhelming AND THE INTELLECTUAL.” band he had an “open labora- how driven the musicians in tory” for testing his ideas. New York were,” he says. “When against one another. This gave in Naples,which made me think of Among his fellow classmates they didn’t have live gigs, they his soloists plenty of material to what we call Neapolitan ice cream were tenor saxophonists Ellery were doing sessions. When they choose from and develop,and they in this country with the blocks of Eskelin, now a much recorded didn’t have sessions, they were took full advantage. vanilla, chocolate, and strawberry. bandleader in New York, and rehearsing. Maybe it’s because The evening’s highlight was That helped me think in terms of Glenn Cashman, now a member they’re making a sacrifice to be “Neopolitan,” an epic number chunks of musical material and of the group Luther Hughes and in New York—the cost of living is that was eventually recorded what might happen if I placed the Cannonball-Coltrane Project so high and the living conditions for The Irrational Numbers. It one on top of another. I never and a full-time teacher at Colgate can be very tough—but musibegan with a funky bass figure know how the improvisation is University. In the late 1980s and cians in New York seem to be in that drove downward again going to change what I write, but early ’90s, Gress led a quartet a hurry to get somewhere. I got and again. Pitted against it was I do know that if I come up with called Tekke that feaswept up in the ena jaunty horn theme that began enough strong materials for the tured Cashman, piaergy. I just said yes MORE ARTS in unison, but gradually split into right musicians, they’re going to nist David Kane, and to every invitation {AND POSSIBLY two jousting melodies. When the do something good with it.” drummer Michael to play that I got.” ENTERTAINMENT} horns shifted to a moodier feel Gress is coming back to Towson Smith. That band’s AT CITYPAPER.COM/ In the 17 years he’s with muted trumpet and lower- for a week-long residency at his 1989 recording, Tekke, been in New York, GO/ARTSMINDS pitched sax, Rainey peeled off alma mater. For much of the week, has just been reissued Gress has recorded from the rhythm section to cre- the bassist/composer is working by the Silver Spring with everyone from ate a jangling cymbal part while with Towson’s jazz students in label Magellan Records. fellow Marylanders Eskelin Taborn started stabbing block ensemble and improvisation During his time at Towson, and George Colligan to Dave chords. As the themes multiplied, workshops, but he also presents Gress landed a summer ap- Douglas and Don Byron. Gress so did the conversations until two concerts open to the general prenticeship in Los Angeles oris featured on Blending Times, Berne finally erupted into a long, public. On Feb. 11, he performs in a chestrating music for Casper the the latest album from John and cathartic sax solo. Throughout it duo with trumpeter and Towson Friendly Ghost cartoons. While Alice Coltrane’s son Ravi, and all, the rumbling bass motif kept jazz professor Dave Ballou, and he was there, however, he found The Classical Variations, the new

LEAVES OF GRESS

Towson jazz alumnus returns to teach and perform at his alma mater

DREW GRESS release from pianist Uri Caine. Gress is also a member of John Hollenbeck’s chamber-jazz ensemble, the Claudia Quintet. (The 2008 Downbeat Critics Poll named the Claudia Quintet as the best up-and-coming group in jazz.) But as much as he enjoys playing with these other musicians, Gress longs to devote more time to his own compositions and his own quintet. He’s always looking for the right balance of notated parts and spaces for improvisation. “Jazz composition is so risky because it relies so much on improvisation and you never know where it will go,” he confesses. “Your natural tendency is to clamp down on the soloing, to be more controlling of where the music goes. But that would be a mistake, because I want the guys in my band to contribute—I learn so much from them. I feel like I’m a fairly liberal parent. I raise my compositions to be strong and self-reliant and then I send them citypaper.com

out into the world without supervising them every single minute. If the improvisers are inspired by what you write, that’s the real sign of achievement because it means the music is really good. “I turn 50 in November, and it’s interesting to see how I fit in on the timeline of the music,” he adds. “I recently played at Birdland with Dave Liebman, Randy Brecker, Marc Copland, and Billy Hart, and it was the first time in a long time that I’ve been the youngest player in the band— whereas on the recent recording session with Steve Lehman’s octet, I was the oldest by quite a bit. But I’m committed to play with younger folks because they really push me. That’s why I’m looking forward to working with the students at Towson.” ■

Drew Gress performs at Towson University’s Center for the Arts Recital Hall on Feb. 11 and 13.

FEBRUARY 11, 2009

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FEBRUARY 11, 2009

broker deals for terrorists, and criminally influence people the world over, and potential whistleblowers always end up dead. This is what Louis discovered when he worked at Scotland Yard, when a potential case against IBBC went to pot and he sought employment at Interpol, where he’s working with New York district attorney Eleanor Whitman (Naomi Watts), since Manhattan is one of the seats of IBBC’s money laundering enterprises. The investigation leads Louis and a NYC investigator Sam (Remy Auberjonois) to a potential witness in Berlin, but within 24 hours both Sam and the contact are dead—possibly killed. Thus begins Louis and Eleanor’s pursuit of IBBC’s execs—such as the suave Jonas Skarssen (Ulrich Thomsen) a nd f i xer Wi l hel m Wexler (Armin Mueller-Stahl)— from Berlin to Luxembourg, Milan to New York, and eventually to

The International impressively uses architecture as tone sculpture, primarily setting its action in the clean affluence of polished steel, clear glass, and poured concrete modernism, and rarely does a thriller convey the stench of untouchability so effortlessly through settings alone. That the The International doesn’t quite illuminate what’s at stake is only a minor flaw. Political crime thrillers typically have some clear endgame involved—Jackal’s preventing the assassination of the president of France, Connection’s stopping the flow of narcotics into New York—but in The International, the big picture is less clear. Yes, the IBBC kills political leaders and corporate traitors and threatens competitors and governments, but it all feels more like rich white people screwing each other over— which is, after all, a refreshing turn from the news-cycle norm. And

AS OTHERWISE CASUAL VISITORS take cover behind whatever they can find from the automatic-weapon fire ripping through the air and shattering the video art installed on the walls, it’s easy to forget where this calmly taut shoot-out is taking place. Interpol agent Louis Salinger (the insolently handsome Clive Owen, looking, as always, like he needs to shave, needs to sleep, and needs a drink) crouches behind the circular walkway’s curved wall, with somebody else’s blood staining his shirt and his own blood streaking his hair after a whizzing bullet just nicked his ear. He’s joined by the hired assassin he tracked to this building. An unknown number of two-man shooter teams are trying to kill that assassin—his employers refer to him as the Consultant (Brian F. O’Byrne)—who calmly returns fire with deadly accuracy while Louis’ hands shake when changing a magazine. Director Tom Tykwer deftly sculpts this spectacularly tense shoot-out in this glorious space, one of Frank Lloyd Wright’s dizzying architectural marvels, 2009 AUDIENCES ARE SURELY READY such that you’re only mindful of the escape difficulties it poses for Louis, TO ACCEPT CREDITORS AS THE ROOT the investigator that The International follows around Europe to New York. Only later does it dawn on you how cynically perfect it is that this gun battle OF ALL EVIL. takes place inside the Upper East Side’s Guggenheim Museum. Tykwer’s thriller is serendipitiously suited for the post-bailout world, as its greedy criminal enterprise is an institution ready-made for cinematic villainy: a global bank. Sure, The International’s bank is the Luxembourg-based International Bank of Business and Credit—a name that cheekily captures the truncheon glibness of business-speak—but 2009 audiences are surely ready to accept creditors as the root of all evil. The walk from loathing heartless AIG CEO bastards to hating all banking executives is a short one. Just what the IBBC is doing is left a little hazy—something involving getting Chinese-made first-strike small arms to the Middle East through corporate arms dealers middle men, though that’s just the iceberg’s tip. Inspired by the 1990s Ponzi-scheme-like scandal involving the Pakistani-founded, Luxembourg-based Bank of Credit and Commerce International, The International views its IBBC less as a power player than an opportunistic debt controller: Control the CLIVE OWEN GOES BANG BANG (KISS KISS, NOT SO MUCH). debts incurred by governments, African rebel groups, terrorists, etc., then comes that shoot-out at the Istanbul. Tykwer tightly plots this and you make money no matter who is winning an armed conflict Guggenheim, and once again vicat and mouse game, aiming for a for pretty much as long as it goes sually the movie succeeds where bit of The Day of the Jackal and The on. It’s an ingenious, high-finance the plot fails. What’s at stake in The French Connection intensity in the take on the neighborhood boss who ALSO NEW IN THEATERS THIS WEEK: International is wealth and how smallest of leads. Though the script gets a piece of every action, only in VIVRE SA VIVRE. it’s used. And when the control of isn’t quite the match for either of this case the neighborhood is the SEE FILM CLIPS, PAGE 62.. wealth is threatened, people just those ’70s titans, Tykwer and his entire world. trying to live their lives always get longtime cinematographer Frank Hence, a bank might be willcaught in the crossfire. ■ Griebe visually outdo them both. ing to murder, launder money,

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MUSIC STRANGER THAN FICTION How the Art Department became a real band out of imaginary origins BY A L S H I P L E Y

A FEW YEARS AGO, recordings surfaced on the internet of a lost album by the Art Department, a mid-’80s indie band from Carson City, Nev., with a vague backstory and an inscrutably unique sound. The guitarist finger-picked snaky melodies, with a capo placed so high on the neck that the sound almost resembled a ukulele. The bassist skipped all over the fretboard with nim-

ble patterns. And the drummer played a relentless oompah beat while an enthusiastic tambourine player rattled over everything. And two voices, one low and monotone and the other high and strained, sang every line in unison, if not quite in harmony. Eventually, Maryland native Jon Ehrens fessed up the truth about the Art Department: The mysterious Carson City quartet never existed. He’d recorded the 13-song album, The Art Anthology, one weekend in 2005, after dreaming up the imaginary band based on a peculiar singing style and the way his guitar sounded with a capo. He even laid down each instrumental track like a method actor, getting into the character of each imaginary musician’s particular tics and playing styles.

THE ART DEPARTMENT IS REAL. REALLY.

RARAH

“My new thing was, I’m gonna invent a band, invent a bio, record an album for them, and just forget about it,” Ehrens explains. “That was my plan for Art Department, because I was, like, ‘I’m gonna come up with other really, really good ideas.’ And I came up with a few others, but they weren’t as good.” So whi le Ehrens created numerous fictitious one-off bands, it was Art Department that took on a life of its own, as he drafted friends Mike Meno and Jason Howe to fill out the live lineup. Meno drums in the insistent tempos set by Ehrens’s recordings and Howe keeps up with the busy bass lines, but they’ve gradually incorporated their own playing styles into the Art Department aesthetic. Even Meno admits that, of all of his friend’s songwriting projects, the Art Department was one that initially perplexed him. “I really didn’t like it at first,” he says. “It took me a few listens to get into. It’s an acquired taste.” A nd while they all play in other bands, the Art Department has become the primary gigging outfit for the three friends. Even more surprisingly, people started singing along at the band’s shows, and the band got inv ited to play as fa r away as Poughkeepsie, N.Y. So, paradoxically, the high-concept solo project with the oddball sound became something of a crowd-pleasing party band. A lthough the Ar t Depar tment is somewhat wary of being seen as a novelty band, its members also can’t resist eccentric touches in their live presentation. The trio huddles unusually close on stage, with back often to the audience, a lthough Eh rens says the band initially aimed for an even more extreme configuration. “I wanted to set up in the back corner of every stage we were at,” he says. “And then for us to be perfectly still when we weren’t playing. And then when we were playing, we’d do the same movement over and over again, sort of like “Peanuts” characters.” He laughs. “It didn’t really work out,” he adds ruefully. Early attempts to fill out the band to a quartet with a tambourine player were ditched when it

began to feel like a gimmick, and the once-prominent percussion is gone from the band’s newer songs. I n a recent p er for m a nce at t he Zod iac, the A r t Depa r tment demonstrated the appeal of the band’s live show, as well as its dedication to brevity: the band raced through roughly a dozen songs in 25 minutes, and would’ve been even quicker had a bass drum pedal malfunction not held Meno up af ter the first song. Though faithful to the aesthetic of Ehrens’s original recordings, the live trio beefs up the band’s sound, erasing the illusion of amateurish dabblers from Carson City: All three are skilled musicians, working their asses off to make compact but complicated songs work. “Dennis Quaid,” which features a hugely catchy chorus that namedrops the actor for no other reason than to fit a rhyme scheme, reflects the project’s whimsical origins, while the “somebody wants me dead” refrain of “What’s That Writing on the Wall” contributes to the uneasy, slightly creepy ambiance that also surrounds Art Department’s offbeat sound. Even a cover of the Tears For Fears’ “Head Over Heels” is so thoroughly made over in the Art Department mold that it’s scarcely recognizable. More than three years after The Art Anthology, the band has been gigging more steadily than ever, and plays a string of shows up and down the East Coast this month. But even as the Art Department has become comfortable with its true identity and has begun to ex pand its sound slightly w ith new songs the trio has written as a group, it is not quite ready to go professional and abandon its lo-fi roots. Talk of recording a new album this year involves using a friend’s 4-track, not booking studio time. Ehrens still writes songs for other projects and imaginary bands, but appears to relish the formal challenges of composing within the Art Department’s narrow framework and exploring the trio’s unique chemistry. ”It took a while,” Ehrens says. “But, yeah, I feel like we’re a real band.” FOR MORE INFORMATION VISIT MOBILELOUNGERECORDS.COM/BANDS/ ARTDEPARTMENT.HTML

NOI S E B OX Al Shipley reports on last weekend’s performance by pedal-steel enchantress Susan Alcorn and the Sidebar’s Clash tribute night . . . Michael Byrne reviews the new EP from We Read Minds, reports on the weekend’s musical happenings, and rounds up the past few month’s worth of Roman Kuebler’s every7th.com song-of-the-month club . . . And plenty more up-to-the-minute local music news, rants, and apologies. NOISE .CIT Y PAPER .COM

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[[LISTENING PA RTY ] ]

The Hunches EXIT DREAMS (I N TH E RED )

If this is any indication, the m ove m e n t k n ow n va r i o u s l y as “shitgaze,” “no-fi,” and assorted other combinations of “pop,” “distortion,” “garage,” “busted,” and “shredder,” ended a year and a half ago when the Hunches began working on their stated last album, Exit Dreams. The band had stopped playing on any kind of regular basis sometime before and, with this record, will finish off its career with a farewell tour. This isn’t to say the genre starts and ends with this Oregon band, but Exit Dreams is one of its finer, most satisfyingly busted documents. The Hunches, when they were active, were known as an unhinged, combustible band full of flailing, violence, and, occasionally, thrown shit. Right at the height of aughties postpunk’s affection for the dance floor, the Hunches released a 7-inch of the one-anda-half-minute thrash “Fuck Disco Beats,” which is basically frontman Hart Gledhill ripping his vocal cords apart in gravelly blasts of distortion. Dude was pissed. Exit Drea m s tra n slate s a s well as possible a Hunches live show—you can only hope, anyway—though it’s more refined than the exhilarating thrash cataclysm that came before it, the Hobo Sunrise LP. For 12 songs, Gledhill sings like a caveman version of Lou Reed over overpowered amps and distorted jangle guitar, with pop hooks lurking in the midst like the subject of an alleyway beatdown. The last wash of pure distortion that ends the gnashing “Ate My Teeth” (“I ate my teeth/ What can I say/ Too much decay”) begets the cloying, gazery “Not Invented,” which could pass for a rougher Velvet Underground number. And most of the record goes that way, alternating between some of the most acerbic, diseased “shitgaze” on the market and welcoming, slowed-down distortion dreams. (Michael Byrne)

FEBRUARY 11, 2009

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THE HUMAN FACTORY Lusine moves from glitch pop to ambient ephemera and back again BY M I C H A E L BY R N E

IF SLOW AND STEADY WINS THE RACE, the electronic music producer dubbed Lusine will have his own monument by the time his career ends—however minimal and abstract that monument may be. Not that left-field head music is a star’s game, but after releasing some 10 albums in as many years, Lusine has become a model of profundity with little payoff. In part, Lusine’s low profile has something to do with the ghetto of IDM music, one of the more maligned genre tags in electronic music. No artist wants it. As a tag, it’s even worse than “trip-hop” or “folktronica,” even though those two, at least, have some root in accuracy. IDM (intelligent dance music), however, is doomed from the start because, well, it’s not dance music—to say little of the pretensions of declaring a genre “intelligent.” Still, somehow the tag stands, enveloping artists from Autechre to Kid 606 (earlier incarnations, anyhow) to Seattle’s Lusine, Jeff McIlwain in the real world, broadly designating a style of usually instrumental music involving “incorrect” beats, abrasively glitchy to slyly off-time, and ambient, abstract sound more melodic and sensible than drone or noise music. Beyond that, the genre becomes wickedly artist specific compared to the remainder of electronic music, which is comically divided and subdivided into small stylistic compartments each with very strict compositional rules.

It’s important to note that a great many artists branded IDM are electronic music’s stark individualists, if not its rebel warriors. Aphex Twin, godhead No. 1 of modern ambient-techno experimentalism, has been branded at certain points IDM. Vladislav Delay, the revered alterego of electronic pop demistar Luomo, makes a glitch heavy ambient-techno that feels like a dance-music fever dream. And Autechre— cold, caustic, and as danceable as a misfiring engine—is one of the largest brand names in electronic music. Diligently honing his sound in all of these shadows is Lusine—known alternately as Lusine ICL, or L’usine, loosely translating from French to “factory.” Even at the producer’s most remote or acerbic—the sometimes brittle, malfunctioning electronic percussive knots that populate his older records, such as 2003’s Condensed—Lusine’s music breathes with wistful synthesizers, teases with grooves in miniature, and reverberates with the stoned, lackadaisical drifts of dub music. Lusine made a major bid for left-field electronic music stardom with his 2004 Ghostly International record Serial Hodgepodge—that’s what it feels like, anyway, an energized push out of a stylistic pocket. The record is in-yourface and airtight; however chopped up, it uses prominent vocals, beats are a constant force—driving tracks as much as decorating them—and Hodgepodge goes straight for the melodic jugular. It’s pop music with an abstract electronic exoskeleton. The ambience that’s fundamental to the breadth of earlier Lusine tracks is distilled into a handful of pure ambient interludes. He’s so good at either approach—pure glitch-pop or pure ambience— that it makes his older work sound like less than the sum of its parts.

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In the years since Hodgepodge, McIlwain has continued to indulge both halves of Lusine’s music personality in separate spaces masterfully. Hodgepodge went on to spawn 2007’s Podgelism—a remix record of Hodgepodge that includes reworkings by big electronic pop names like Matthew Dear and Apparat, along with Lusine himself. That record in turn went on to spawn a dancefloor 12-inch. While the full-length Podgelism was even more hodgepodge than its parent record, the 12-inch result could slip well enough into a reasonably bold minimal house set. Since the Serial Hodgepodge/Podgelism pairing, McIlwain has released one album, 2007’s Language Barrier, which came out in late 2007 on the experimental ambient/noise label Hymen. It’s a remarkable flipside to its glitchy electronic-pop precursors, an abandonment of any notion of IDM in favor of pure ambience. It’s richly textured, full of samples and found sounds—the chilliness and sterility of his pure electronic music is turned on its head by human voices and nature sounds. The spare vocal drone and audio tape crackle of “Without Standing” make Lusine’s sparest track also one of his most startling. Floating around on the internet is a recording of a live PA set Lusine performed in 2007 at Seattle’s Decibel festival. It’s an ambient piece, and you hear some of the ideas of Language Barrier in it—the broad strokes of color, radical changes of sound sources (guitars, blurbling and swelling synths, harps, keys)—but the field recordings and continuous attention to texture is new. It feels like his music has learned to be human, and now it’s showing it off. ■ LUSINE PERFORMS AT THE HEXAGON FEB. 15. FOR MORE INFORMATION VISIT MYSPACE.COM/HEXAGONSPACE.

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city paper | 25


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IMPRINTS FICTION The Unpossessed City: A Novel BY JON FASMAN PENGUIN PRESS, HARDCOVER

Jon Fasman’s sophomoric novel, The Unpossessed City, proves a strange blend of geographic romance, cultural case study, and international spy thriller. It is in some ways a beautiful and touching book, and in others a stuttering, confused mess, but such is often the case when a talented writer achieves success too quickly with a bestselling debut and runs slightly amok in the follow-up. The story opens with a chilling Siberian prison sequence, in which a rogue Russian Interior Minister oversees the testing of a biological weapon secret even to the government. It is an effectively eerie opening, though already the early warning signs of disjointed storytelling emerge as time and perspective flit around neurotically. Hop around the globe to the protagonist, 32-year-old Jim Vilatzer, who still works at his parents’ neighborhood restaurant in Washington, D.C., and exists solely to drink, slowly lose brain cells to his television, and gamble, a vice that has caught up with him in the form of two violently inclined bookies who call in their $24,000 debt. With little in the way of a plan, Jim hurriedly arranges a job with a non-profit in Moscow, interviewing gulag survivors, and poof—he’s gone. Once in Moscow, Jim finds a frightening, corrupt, but enchanting world that slowly steals his heart. It doesn’t hurt when he meets a gorgeous blonde, who just happens to have a grandfather who survived the gulag. Jim embarks on a trail of survivors whose stories put him at far greater risk than he expected. When he discovers that he has been used as a cog in a weapons development scheme, it’s already too late. Both the Russians and the CIA leap to seize Jim as a pawn in their international game of espionage. As a travelogue and human drama, The Unpossessed City is artful and sincere, offering a rare glimpse into the soul of Moscow: corrupt, generous, wary, compassionate. It is such a rich impression of the city that it can not only be seen, but felt in the vibrancy and desperation of its all-too-human inhabitants. As a spy thriller, though, the novel suffers. The plot splutters along like a 1984 El Camino, at times drifting and stalling, at others veering at hairpin turns and lurching forward uncomfortably. Fasman introduces characters only to abandon them for 70 pages at a time, and then fling them abruptly into play again. But despite these troubles, his wry, witty style and insightfully human approach highlight a tardy coming-of-age tale of a stranger amid a haunted people, allowing theme and setting to overshadow the sometimes confused plot. (G. Brian Davis)

Holding Pattern: Stories BY JEFFERY RENARD ALLEN GRAYWOLF PRESS, PAPERBACK

“Blunt snapped her umbrella open to ward off the sun. He moved under its shade and watched Blunt, her false teeth as bright as cell bars, dead person’s hair concealing gray wire springs poking from her bald scalp,” Jeffery Renard Allen writes in “Dog Tags,” a story from Holding Pattern. “Not in use, the fake hair covered a white faceless squeaking Styrofoam head, like a bird perched in a tree, waiting to lift up its hairy wings and flap away.” In passages like this one, the New York-based New School professor and author approaches fiction writing with all the sensual immediacy of a Romantic poet and the daydreaming over-imagination of the late David Foster Wallace. Throughout Holding Pattern, Allen has much to say—often to a maddeningly indirect degree—about racism’s strong roots, mysticism, and African-American mores generally, but the Uzi-like dispatch of stinging, lingering imagery is his chief weapon. His stories are really tales—with morals you’ve got to suss for yourself—but mostly, Pattern’s rewards lie in its onslaughts of imagery. Presented in phonetically precise Ebonics, the title piece pulls triple-duty as a street-hustling primer, a character study of an underworld bottom-feeder, and something out of The Uncanny X-Men. “Toilet Training” concerns a pair of brothers—one mentally impaired, one not—and the complicated dynamic of their relationship. “It Shall Be Again” casts away any and all traces of realism to spend a few troubling pages playing merry hell with racist barbs, monetary forms, and run-on non sequiturs. Here, Allen conjures a lethal rain of coins—”Knuckles, pennies punched through faces”—and cockily contemplates currency-as-flesh: “Yes, I’m gon be all money someday. Head flat as a dime. Diamond fingernails. Jeweled three-ton suit. Gold cane, fat like an elephant’s dick.” There’s a potency to these fictions that eats away at the mind for days afterward, that makes one marvel at their strangeness and re-live their vividness. On those occasions when Allen confines himself to more conventional narration—the excellent “Mississippi Story” and its deft parsing of past and present vestiges of racism in that state aside—Holding Pattern’s intensity fades somewhat. “Same,” the tale of a slickster who misrepresents himself as a war hero/novelist for fun, profit, and ass, is little more than a twist on the stock comeuppance form. And the twisted, ludicrous turn “Shimmy” takes can’t compensate for the dull expository build-up that precedes it. If Allen had only run willy-nilly with his tilted-perspective prose, Pattern would be an undeniably great read instead of half of one. (Raymond Cummings) ■


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ART MYSTERY! SCIENCE! THEATER! Exhibition embraces Laure Drogoul’s multifaceted creative labors BY B R E T M CC A B E

FOLLIES, PREDICAMENTS, AND OTHER CONUNDRUMS: THE WORKS OF LAURE DROGOUL THROUGH MARCH 15 AT MICA’S MEYERHOFF AND DECKER GALLERIES

A HOT-PINK SHAG-CARPETED WOMB-LIKE chillout area. A giant kewpie doll. Jars and jars of smells. A plethora of nipple designs. Singing to earthworms. A clown-like prison. An array of road-kill photos. A ridiculously large ball of twine. It’s difficult to cite one purchase/entry point into the works Laure Drogoul gathered at MICA for the first ever largescale retrospective of the Baltimore artist, if only because each piece is such a daft, delightful brain bomb. Drogoul, who has lived in Baltimore since 1979, has become part of the city’s underground art fabric through her 14 Karat Cabaret that she started in 1989 and her many, many performances-quainteractive projects and sculptures, which have been staples at Artscape for many years and are instantly recognizable to the Drogoul-familiar eye. What makes Follies so rewarding, though, is that it gathers such a dense and diverse array of Drogoul’s visual output together in one place. This curatorial scope—the show was organized by George Ciscle’s Exhibition Development Seminar at MICA, with MICA director of exhibitions Gerald Ross serving as curator, MICA Environmental Design and Art

28 | city paper

History department member Glenn Shrum serving as seminar instructor, and 18 students doing majority of the exhibition’s heavy lifting—presents an aperture opening peering into Drogoul’s singular realm, a view that offers a slightly different perspective on the artist. Throughout Follies accompanying catalog, a series of essays—from curator Ross, City Paper contributor Rupert Wondolowski, artist and Link co-founding editor Peter Walsh—reiterate Drogoul’s inescapable Baltimore connections, but it’s a disservice to consider her, strictly speaking, a local artist. Because as much as Baltimore may want to claim her as another Charm City eccentric, Drogoul’s work explores a profoundly personal universe that has more to do with who she is rather than where she lives. To calibrate the brain, start with the Meyerhoff’s rear gallery, where a cursory history of the 14 Karat Cabaret’s history is installed. Black-and-white photo-

QUICK SKETCHES RAW ART SALE A great way to support young artists and get something for the home or office, the Maryland Institute College of Art’s spring Raw Art Sale happens this Sunday, Feb. 15, from 10 A.M.-4 P.M. in the Gateway building’s BBOX theater. Students make some of their works created over the past semester available for purchase, and previous sales have included jewelry, stationary, fabric pieces, and the more familiar prints, paintings, and drawings. Visit mica. edu for more details.

AS MUCH AS BALTIMORE MAY WANT TO CLAIM HER AS ANOTHER CHARM CITY ECCENTRIC, DROGOUL’S WORK EXPLORES A PROFOUNDLY PERSONAL UNIVERSE THAT HAS MORE TO DO WITH WHO SHE IS RATHER THAN WHERE SHE LIVES. copied flyers against one wall capture the early days, where a flabbergastingly diverse roster of performers—bands (early ’90s Baltimore art-damaged rock project Cloaca; superb pre-Riot Grrl all-gal Columbus, Ohio, trio Scrawl), performance art (Annie Sprinkle, Tim Miller’s My Queer Body), film (Danny Mydlack), writers (Duplex Planet’s David Greenberger), and, quite often, delicious amalgamations of all of the above (super heroine Jennifer Blowdryer)—while some full-color poster designs capture the Cabaret’s more recent years (from 1999 into the current decade). In the back, the Cabaret’s actual AIDS altar has

“THE WORKSHOP OF FILTHY CREATION” (STILL)

FEBRUARY 11, 2009

been installed, the place where, in the early days, the fallen fabulous were honored—Charles Ludlam, Ethyl Eichelberger, Baltimore favorite daughter Cookie Mueller, Derek Jarman, Ricky Wilson—and, more recently, Cabaret friends/family who died of other causes have been duly honored (Peter Zahorecz, Dawn Culbertson). A video plays a loop of various Cabaret performances, along with some Martha Colburn animation. This low-key gallery best represents the many, many, many concurrent creative energies that have run into Drogoul’s artistic vocabulary: insouciant use of so-called low-tech tools, body transformative drag culture, underground theater’s infectious spirit that anywhere can be a stage, downtown New York’s 1980s performance zeal that freely blended not only the personal and the political, but the educational and the preposterous, subversively silly appropriations of pop idioms (music, film, television, etc.), and a mirthful energy that never wanted to let on where the art ended and so-called reality began. Drogoul’s output easily straddles multiple genres and ideas,

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and how she so successfully interacts these worlds is what gives her works their philosophical edge. Duly primed, take note of the exhibition’s complimentary toy magnifying glasses—because Drogoul is as much of a taxonomist as she is a creator. Where you go from here is entirely up to which part of the brain you want to titillate: sensory sensors, higher-level brain functions, the funny bone? Why not give all three a run in Drogoul’s “Fugue Chamber for Amnesiacs”? This 1995-96 mixed-media installation features a circular hallway enclosing a small circular room. Hot-pink shag carpeting wallpapers the hallway, on which hang framed words offering benign advertisements-qua-psychobabble: PLEASANT, WARM INSIDE, SUBTLE. An unseen soundsystem pipes in bubbly mix of ambient relaxation music, sort of what you imagine a shrink would have in the waiting room if he had to share office space with the National Aquarium. The enclosed small room offers two white seats, where you can take a load off, close your eyes, and be calmed by the soft, womb-like environs and tranquil sounds. When you open your eyes, you’ll see the sage advice this chamber offers its visitors: NOTHING IS MORE RELAXING THAN BEING STUPID. Just a rou nd the cor ner sta nds Follies most remarked-upon piece, “Dolly.” This 1997 mixedmedia sculpture takes that paragon of creepy cute, the kewpie doll, and inf lates its proportions, yielding something like a cross between a monumental sculpture and Godzilla. Its pink paper skin—sheets brandishing 1950s-ish advertising slogans such as “I can talk!” and “giggles and coos”—is illuminated from the inside, giving “Dolly” a rather eerie glow. An unseen speaker provides the gurgling, almost Regan MacNeilmaniacal laugh. Throw in the piece’s name itself— either a child’s cutesy slang for a doll or cheekily alluding to two females who share it: the country singer of comic-book pneumatic proportions and the late sheep who was the first mammal to be cloned—and “Dolly” becomes this constantly mu-

OPENINGS The opening reception for Hand to Frame / Surface to Lens —a group show featuring the works of Nino Leselidze, Hadieh Shafie, Karen Yasinsk y, and Jeffrey Kent—takes place Feb. 18 from 5-7 P. M . at the Maryland State Arts Council. Structures — the solo show of local artist Alyssa Dennis—opens at the University of Baltimore School of L aw Ar t Gallery Feb. 18 with a reception from 5:30-7 P. M .; concurrently, M a t t h e w L a n g l ey ’s D i f f i c u l t opens in the Dean’s Corridor and the Emmert Hobbs Faculty Lounge. And the Walter s Ar t Museum’s compelling The Saint John’s Bible: A Modern Vision Through Medieval Methods —a contemporar y version of an illustrated manuscript commis sioned by Minne sot a’s Saint John’s University— opens Feb. 15. CLOSINGS Portraits Re/Examined: A Dawoud Bey Project concludes its run at the Walters Art Museum Feb. 16. So Many Organs—the group show featuring Liz Donadio, City Paper contributor Dina Kelberman, and Ryan Syrell— ends its run at the Current Gallery Feb. 13. Local artist Katherine Fa h ey ’s T h e B ir d w a tc h er ’s C o mpani o n e n d s a t t h e M e t r o Gallery Feb. 14.


MARIN ALSOP AND SAVION GLOVER Sat, February 14, 8 pm Sun, February 15, 3 pm Marin Alsop, conductor Savion Glover, tap dancer Marin Alsop and tap trailblazer Savion Glover collaborate with the Baltimore Symphony Orchestra to bring you this rhythmic and electrifying experience. The performance features the music of Duke Ellington, John Adams and George Gershwin and Glover’s own choreography and improvisation! Media sponsor: WBAL Radio and baltimoresun.com

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BALTIMORE SYMPHONY ORCHESTRA “SCENTORIUM (OLFACTORY FACTORY)” (INSTALLATION VIEW) tating cultural object, an unsettling mound Classifying items is an organizational method of child-like naivete realized as the return of discovery and learning, an attempt at unof some Golem-like repressed id. derstanding by breaking down recordable Such is the alluring alchemy of Drogoul’s evidence. It’s a search for meaning and how better works: a seductive surface that might it’s created. And in various ways, Drogoul’s playfully include imagery or ideas lifted from visual creations are theories in their own episold sci-fi flicks and toys, an early vault of the temological pursuit, places where what is true comfortable familiar wrapping a troubling and what is believed condenses into what’s undertow that burrows into the very core socially accepted as knowledge. of how humanity defines itself. And to get Nowhere is such a rigorous pursuit—and a hint of what Drogoul has to say about who Drogoul’s work, despite its often cute patina, we might be can be found in adjoining Decker is extremely heady—more in evidence than in Gallery, which includes a small array of the the video documentations of her performances items Drogoul has collected over the years. on monitors that dot the Decker Gallery’s walls. These include photographs of road Whether Drogoul becomes a monokill, catcher’s masks, and figurines, breasted Miss Construct beating and echoes of their visual qualities eggs with a modified sledgehammer MORE WORDS and architecture you can see in other and slicing butter with chainsaw {AND PICTURES} aspects of her output. But the color completely dismantling reprolecting impulse is also worth notduction and gender conventions in ABOUT ART ing, as it informs her “Scentorium 1996’s “Workshop of Filthy Creation,” (Olfactory Factory)” and “Nipple MAY BE FOUND AT these productions are arguments Project.” Each is an exercise in taxthat articulate Drogoul’s ideas about CITYPAPER.COM/ onomy—the former to collect scents the body, contemporary thought, GO/ARTSMINDS and people’s impressions of how and so-called reality, ideas that smell defines where they live, the change and morph in her work as latter a project to design new areolae the years go by. Drogoul’s is a fascifor the artist’s reconstructed breasts follownatingly unique world—where, for instance, ing a late ’90s double mastectomy. Both are historical re-enactments are just as valid as extremely intimate concerns turned into social history itself—and organically evolving world, interactions—a person’s most basic memories one that can feel merely odd or weird after and the body—and both have produced fascione encounter. And Follies offers that rare natingly plainspoken results, viewable in their opportunity to try to get a handle on it for online components (olfactoryfactory.org and yourself. ■ cultofmarms.org/nipple/index.html). But it’s the vaguely scientific approach Laure Drogoul’s 14 Karat Cabaret takes over to both endeavors that’s so interesting. MICA’s BBOX theater Feb. 13.

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THE RETURN OF THEATER THAT’S ANYTHING BUT? Run of the Mill Theater managing director David Mitchell wowed us with his fall 2007 production of Frederico García Lorca’s Blood Wedding, but his fall 2008 production of Samuel Beckett’s Waiting for Godot felt a little tentative. So we’re looking forward to see how he handles James McBride, a comedic play about the titular American who wins a poetry contest in Ireland and shocks the prize committee when he comes to collect it by being African-American. The play debuted in 2007 at the Pittsburgh Playwrights Theatre Company, written by PPTW founder/artistic director Mark Clayton Southers, and its mix of conflicts—black and white, American and ethnic European—sounds like the sort of grittily familiar foibles that Run of the Mill can sink its teeth into. James McBride opens Feb. 13 at the Theatre Project and runs through Feb. 22. Visit runofthemilltheater.org for more details. OPENINGS Well—Lisa Kron’s Tonynominated play about the playwright’s mother’s experiences with activism and illness—debuts Feb. 14, at Theatre Hopkins Stages Well at Johns Hopkins’ Swirnow Theater. It runs through March 1; for more information visit jhu.edu/~theatre. The Black Cherry Puppet Theater presents Shrunken Love—billed as an evening of “puppet acts and songs for grown ups”—Feb. 14, at the theater’s Sowebo performance space (1115 Hollins St.); visit blackcherry.org for more details. The Audrey Herman Spotlighters Theatre spoofs the Victorian Empire with Caryl Churchill’s Cloud 9, which opens Feb. 13 and runs through March 8; visit spotlighters.org for more details. Baltimore’s Gilded Lily Burlesque troupe offers Tassels and Champagne: A Burlesque Valentines at the Creative Alliance at the Patterson Feb. 14 with Richmond’s Sweet Tease; visit creativealliance.org for more info. University of Baltimore students and staff celebrate V-Day with Eve Ensler’s The Vagina Monologues Feb. 12-13 at UB Student Center’s Performing Arts Theater, with proceeds benefiting the National V-Day Campaign and the House of Ruth; visit ubalt.edu for more details. And Laure Drogoul’s 14-Karat Cabaret takes over MICA’s BBOX theater in the Gateway building Feb. 13 (see Art review). C L O S I N G H a r o l d P i n t e r ’s T h e Homecoming concludes its run at the Fells Point Corner Theater this Friday through Sunday. And the Baltimore Shakespeare Festival’s sixth-annual Teen Performance Program concludes its production of The Tempest this Thursday through Sunday.

STAGE PEDANTIC TRIANGLE Resentment-fest forgets to supply a reason to care BY G E O F F R E Y H I M E S

BERMUDA By Noah Galuten THROUGH FEB. 15 AT THE STRAND THEATER

TO TRULY APPRECIATE THE BRILLIANCE of Edward Albee’s Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf, it helps to see a second-rate knockoff like Noah Galuten’s Bermuda. Galuten, who has contributed script coverage to such television shows as Boston Legal, The Practice, and Ally McBeal, is not a bad writer, but he is so eager to match Albee’s raw honesty that he jumps into the rawness and leaves the honesty behind.

ALISON BUCKLEY, TIM GRIEB, AND R. BRETT ROHRER (FROM LEFT) FORM A TRIANGLE. There are, of course, differences. In Bermuda, Christie and Michael are newlyweds, not longtime spouses. They are visited not by a couple of new acquaintances, but by a single individual, Donald, who happens to be both Michael’s brother and Christie’s ex. But the dynamic is the same: In their own, comfortable living room, a married couple entangles an uncomfortable visitor in the disappointments and frustrations of their marriage by saying all the things that are usually left unspoken. In Albee, however, George and Martha maintain a false air of hospitality at all times, as if they were waving a handkerchief to distract the visitors from the thrusting stiletto. In Galuten, all pretense is soon dropped and the three just go at each other with verbal hatchets. In Bermuda, the switch from polite conversation to blurted confessions and brutal accusations is so abrupt and sudden that the play loses much of its credibility. One moment, Christie’s telling Michael sweet nothings in a baby voice; the next, moment she’s saying that she doesn’t care if he goes or stays. One moment, Donald’s politely complimenting Christie’s desserts; the next, he’s grabbing at her. One moment, Michael’s boasting of his happy marriage and new promotion; the next, he’s barking that maybe he’s not a rich, successful writer like his brother, but he’s still worth something. These drastic transformations feel prompted not by the characters’ motivations, but by the playwright’s


impatience to get to the showy confrontations. It’s not clear why he’s in such a hurry. The play was only 65 minutes long on opening night, so there is plenty of room for a more gradual development of the plot when Galuten does a much-needed rewrite. Many times performers playing members of the same family on stage appear nothing of the kind. But director Jayme Kilburn has done of good job of casting Michael and Donald with R. Brett Rohrer and Tim Grieb respectively, two actors who not only look alike—stocky torsos, square faces, puppy eyes, boring work clothes, and brown hair—but also share a kind of reticence that merely camouflages a sullen resentment. One never doubts that they are brothers. As Christie, Alison Buckley is a welcome contrast—tall, red-headed, and fluttery in a blue blouse. She gets the show off to a good start by telegraphing Christie’s insecurity about her new marriage. She tells Michael that whenever she says, “Sunshine,” he should say, “Lollipops,” just to confirm that he still

THE SWITCH FROM POLITE CONVERSATION TO BLURTED CONFESSIONS AND BRUTAL ACCUSATIONS IS SO ABRUPT THAT THE PLAY LOSES MUCH OF ITS CREDIBILITY.

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TWIN set FULL set

$399

$549

KING set

$929

With Coupon!

With Coupon! $

32999 41999 $ 64999 $

TRIPLE CHOICE Pillowtop, Plush & Firm w/ Foam Encasement

79999

$

29999 $39999 $62999

$

SALE $429 $569 $949

QUEEN SET SALE $699

QUEEN SET SALE $999

With Coupon!

With

SALE Coupon! $699 $59999 $899 $74999 $1479 $117999

TWIN set FULL set KING set

TRIPLE CHOICE

Eurotop, Plush & Firm

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count 300 threadT SHE ET •FLA •FITTED SHEET •4 PILLOW CASES

COUNTING SHEEP PLUSHIE*

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TWIN set FULL set KING set

(2 w/TWIN)

QUEEN SET SALE $799

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39999 54999 $ 84999 $

“Any set purchase over $699. Offer expires Feb. 28, 2009. See store for details.”

*with set purchase

Back Ease loves her. She presents this as a sweet, romantic gesture, but he instantly recognizes it as a manipulative ploy that will embarrass him in many situations—and sure enough it soon does. In similar fashion, Donald proposes a party game: If you were stranded on a desert island in Bermuda and you were given the choice of one islandmate—Ava Gardner or Marilyn Monroe, Adolf Hitler or no one—who would you choose? It soon becomes clear, though, that game has been suggested to ma ke Christie think about who’d she’d like as an islandmate—Michael or Donald. Bermuda is at its best in these early moments, when the characters are pretending to be nice as they pursue their ulterior motives. All too soon, however, the facade is dropped and the three just start venting. And while the cast does a better job with the strong, obvious feelings than with the subtle, disguised emotions, the show suffers as a result. There’s no denying the intensity of accusations flung back and forth at such close quarters, though. The small store-front space of the Strand Theater is so cramped that to reach their seats, many audience members had to walk across the stage’s brown risers, which bump up against the knees of those in the front row. With the second-hand armchair where Michael flops down after work and the sofa where Christie and Donald share a forbidden kiss just a few feet away, we often feel as if we’re sitting in the same living room. ■

ENCASED COIL

Plush or Firm - Foam Encased

99999

$

QUEEN SET SALE $1199

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TWIN set FULL set KING set

“With Any Purchase Of Any Set Over $599”

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SALE ENDS FEB 16TH! 20 Sets

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STORE HOURS: MON - FRI 10 - 9 • SAT 10 - 9 • SUN 10 - 7

6643 RITCHIE HWY Corner of Ritchie Hwy & Ordanance Road

(410) 760-3337

ROUTE 40 WEST 6425 Baltimore National Pike

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54999 64999 $ 99999 $

with - Memory Foam

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(410) 747-8888 “Just West of Rolling Rd. - Next to Gardiner’s”

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citypaper.com

QUEEN SET SALE $899

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Special Holiday

“Former Mr. Mattress Location”

With

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FEBRUARY 11, 2009

QUEEN SET SALE $1699

With

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city paper | 31


Authentic Turkish On Charles Street

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FREE RANGE

BY M A RY K . Z A JAC

MAKING BABA PROUD A Mediterranean restaurant in South Baltimore pleases from

º/ «Ê£äÊÀiÃÌ>ÕÀ> ÌÊÜ Ì Ê live entertainment”

start to finish

- Baltimore Sun, Feb. 2008

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Valentine’s Day Menu

IN BALTIMORE’S BLEAK MID-WINTER, the craving for warmth is fierce. And while a restaurant devoted to Mediterranean food appeals at any time of year, February’s chill makes the presence of Baba’s Mediterranean Kitchen (745 E. Fort Ave., [410] 727-7482) even more welcome. Tiny and tidy, the mint-green storefront stands out in a sea of South Baltimore brick and Formstone, and on a cold night, the light from the front window beckons with the warmth of a thousand suns. Most importantly, though, the food is very good, so good you’ll wish you lived around the corner.

&RIDAY AND 3ATURDAY .IGHT

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Baltimore’s Premier Club

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WE NOW DELIVER TO BALTIMORE NEIGHBORHOODS AND HOTELS!

Complimentary Parking 7i` ->Ì 316 N. Charles Street 410-528-1222 cazbarbaltimore.com "«i Ê > ÞÊ££> ÊUÊ-Õ `>ÞÊ{« 32 | city paper

FEBRUARY 11, 2009

SAM HOLDEN

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Baba’s is one of those places where you instantly feel comfortable. Part of this is due to the proximity of the few tables. You end up talking to your dining neighbors, exchanging pleasantries and “What are you eating?”-s because you’re so close, and because it just seems like the thing to do. The same goes for eating at the counter that curves around the food prep area, though I have the feeling you’d be left alone if you prefer. Throughout the evening, people enter and leave Baba’s with carry-out orders. Despite that, the restaurant—with its blond wood floors, exposed brick walls, and hand-painted tiles in bright royal blue and terra cotta—still feels a little like you’re dining in someone’s home on pretty square-shaped plates and with real cutlery. And that is due to the graciousness of Baba’s owner, Farid Salloum, who takes orders, tends the register, and chats up customers with

citypaper.com

Baba’s makes full use of the designation “Mediterranean” to include salads and pita-based pizzas (the menu calls them “pit[z]as”) that are Greek and Italian in origin, as well as Middle Eastern. This means you can order caprese or couscous; a Greek pizza with feta, olives, and red onions or the Syrian-style mena-eesh ($7) with a spice blend that includes sumac and sesame seed. While the latter might look less appealing—the ground herbs give the pizza a dark flat sheen, as if it were covered with olivada—the blend of the herbs is complex and appealing with sumac adding a hint of lemony essence. Order as an appetizer to share, not as an entrée, as it’s not quite substantial enough for dinner. The Med-ley ($6), a combination of dolmas, falafel, spanakopita, hummus, and olives, is a good way to try a little bit of everything here and to remind yourself just what quality mezza taste like. Like salsa, hummus is ethnic food gone mainstream, and constant exposure to the supermarket variety numbs the memory of the authentic. We forget that good hummus tastes of a careful balance of garlic, lemon, and tahini, and that a little kick of chili can be welcome, as it is in Baba’s. Or that good stuffed grape leaves have texture, that you can bite into them and they will be sturdy and nicely substantial, not soft or slick. Baba’s flaky spanakopita tastes of butter, and the baba ghanouj ($4), which can often be bitter or tasteless, is smoky and creamy with small tender chunks of eggplant. Although you can easily make a meal noshing on mezza and salads, Baba’s also offers a small variety of sandwiches and platters like falafel. The combination of lamb, beef, and allspice in B’s burger ($6) gives it a more intense, yet delicate quality that makes for a refreshing change from an all-beef burger. Though kabobs can often be a disappointment, Baba’s chicken kabobs ($9, platter) were moist inside, nicely charred outside, and bore traces of lemon (or more sumac posing as lemon). The night’s special lamb kabobs ($9) could have been less well done, but the strained yogurt and dill sauce (dill ebnee) accompanied them well. Platters are served pita-sandwichstyle, or on a bed of nutty Mediterranean rice with a small green salad. The night we dined, baklava was the only dessert offered. Made in the Middle Eastern style with pistachios and a combination of rosewater and simple syrup, not honey, the result is crisper, lighter, and more buttery than its Greek counterpart. It’s also exceedingly tasty.

THE FOOD IS VERY GOOD, SO GOOD YOU’LL WISH YOU LIVED AROUND THE CORNER. an understated charm. I don’t know if Salloum has memorized the face or name of each diner, but it wouldn’t surprise me if he has. Salloum named his restaurant Baba’s, after his father (“baba” means father in Arabic), a Palestinian immigrant to the United States who left a job at Chrysler to open a Carvel franchise (which later became a café) in Syracuse in 1965. With Baba’s, Salloum follows in his father’s footsteps, leaving an executive-level career in the computer industry after 24 years to open a restaurant devoted to the food of his family’s native culture.

By the end of the evening, we were plotting our next visit, but someone in the group halfhopingly asked Salloum if he would consider opening an outpost in our neighborhood. “And give up my investment here?” he asked, mock incredulous. “Come back,” he invited. “You know where to find me.” I do, and now you do, too. ■ Open for lunch and dinner Tuesdays through Saturdays and brunch and dinner on Sundays. BYOB. Dolmas, falafel, spanakopita, oh my: freerange@citypaper.com


EATS & DRINKS Thai and American Cuisine

INDIAN MANGO GROVE Vegetarian Indian food gets the flamboyant treatment with dosai, baby-blanket sized crepes stuffed with savory curries, or masalas. Curries taste fresh, and mangoritas delight. But meals can be badly paced, and the enterprise appears to be skimping on staff. 6365B Dobbin Center, Columbia, (410) 884-3426. MEHEK Fells Point’s first Indian restaurant scores points for the spicy attractiveness of its interior and its sleek presentations. While fundamentally on par with the city’s other Indian restaurants, Mehek delivers plates of favorites with serious eye appeal. Wednesday is an all-you-can-eat kabob night. The lingering question has to do with service, which appears to be constitutionally disoriented. 811 S. Broadway, (410)522-9191 MUGHAL GARDEN Stellar appetizers and breads accompany textbook chicken, lamb, and vegetable dishes. Lamb kebabs are ineffably tender. The lunch buffet offers sauces of diverse hue, nuance, and spice level. 920 N. Charles St., (410) 547-0001.

IRISH CLADDAGH PUB If Claddagh’s owners are sentimentally Gaelic about the bar, they’re less so about the menu, which is free of cabbage and lamb stew but delivers terrific crab cakes and steaks. The kitchen is capable of some clunkers, but who could ever hold a grudge when everyone’s this nice? 2918 O’Donnell St., (410) 522-4220. J. PAUL’S This quintessential Georgetown pub reimagined for Baltimore’s Inner Harbor affords most diners superb views of the water, which is really very pretty. The food is mostly reliable, with big-boy food like steak and scallops coming off best. Harborplace, 301 Light St., (410) 659-1889. CONTINUED ON PAGE 34

RECENTLY IN FREE RANGE CAFÉ GIA RISTORANTE A happy vibe and hearty Sicilian food without the fustiness (or prices) of most Little Italy restaurants. Nearly everything is made in-house, including traditional desserts like cannoli and tiramisu. Ravioli positano utilizes dried rigatoni with fine results; if homemade gnocchi is on the menu, try it. BYOB with a $5 corkage fee. 410 S. High St., (410) 685-6727 PARKSIDE RESTAURANT, FINE FOOD, AND SPIRITS Not just a bar/restaurant, the Parkside also hosts a bakery and a market under its roof, which may be why the space and the food seem unfocused. Homey, comfort food is the order of the day here, and the bar boasts a well-chosen beer selection. There’s also a play area for youngsters. 4709 Harford Road, (410) 444-6004. TAPABAR This Little Italy restaurant offers a traditional tapas menu, but diners need to choose carefully. Avoid grilled meats, which have a tendency to be overcooked, in favor of papas rellenas, hearty alubias blancas soup, and the sweet and savory epinaca salteadas. Slow service forces lingering. 413 S. High St., (410) 223-3020.

MAKE YOUR RESERVATIONS NOW FOR VALENTINE’S DAY

happy h ur

6 - 9 p.m.

MONDAY - SATURDAY

Complimentary Chocolate, Strawberry & Rose!

( ( ( ½ -Elizabeth Large, Baltimore Sun

www.ten-o-six.com

+GEFR 2RPCCR g %CBCP?J 'GJJ 410-528-2146

SINGLE IN THE

CITY

½ PRICE APPETIZERS

½ PRICE ETHIOPIAN ENTREES

$5 WINGS $6 QUESADILLAS $6 CHICKEN FINGERS $8 ZESTY CHICKEN WRAP

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BE PROUD TO BE SINGLE!

ALEXANDER’S TAVERN 710 South Broadway Fells Point 410.522.0000 citypaper.com

FEBRUARY 11, 2009

city paper | 33


EATS & DRINKS JAMES JOYCE IRISH PUB AND RESTAURANT The Irish fare in this very handsome new gathering spot is consistently hearty and wholesome (a spicy shepherd’s pie, fresh-tasting fish and chips), and the staff’s good manners feel too genuine to be a put-on. Consider the live music either a bonus or a negative, as you like it. 616 S. President St., (410) 727-5107. THE LIFE OF REILLY IRISH PUB AND RESTAURANT The old Simon’s has turned, as everything eventually must, into an Irish pub. A low-brogue version, though. A confident kitchen takes as much care with the pub grub as it does the daily specials—such as a simple but very effective flourish as the flash-friend fennel and phyllo dough that covered a salmon fillet special suggest a gastropub waiting to happen. 2031 E. Fairmount Ave., (410) 327-6425.

HALF PRICE HAPPY HOUR MON-FRI 5-7PM Tsunami Sushi Now Served Here! m-f 4-6:30pm s-s 3-5:30pm featured beers & cocktails appetizer specials

34 | city paper

1300 bank street • baltimore

410.327.7835

in the holland tack factory

MICK O’SHEA’S Adroitly accommodating pub with solid light fare and sandwiches (please get the ultimate grilled cheese). The more elaborate specials, including Irish dishes, are a mixed bag—terrific fish and chips but oddly seasoned shepherd’s pie and floppy corned beef and cabbage. 328 N. Charles St., (410) 539-7504. PATRICK’S OF PRATT STREET This Southwest Baltimore oasis is not just the oldest Irish pub in Baltimore, but the oldest in America. But you wouldn’t know it from the up-to-date, international bistro menu—quiche Lorraine, sauerbraten with dumplings, penne marinara. Try the crab cakes. 131 S. Schroeder St., (410) 576-8899. RYAN’S DAUGHTER Sprawling Irish bar and restaurant in North Baltimore manages to accommodate families and youthful imbibers. But most Irish favorites—a corned beef sandwich, lamb stew, a shepherd’s pie in puff pastry—are disappointing, except for the fish and chips. Belvedere Square, 600 E. Belvedere Ave.,(410) 464-1000. SLAINTE Head upstairs to luxuriate in the prettiest second-story bar around. Don’t pass up the Guinness onion soup, and make room for admirable examples of Irish-pub chow. Savory pies are hearty with welcome gourmet touches. A salmon fillet’s skin is seared to a crispy ducklike finish. Really, take the stairs. 1700 Thames St., (410) 563-6600. TIR NA NOG Irish favorites get New American cuisine

201 E. Pratt St U Inner Harbor

twists at this expansive Harborplace pub—kohrabi remoulade heightens oak-smoked salmon, beet salad and wasabi oil update a duckling breast. Some of this invention works very well, but simple basics—fish and chips, a hamburger—don’t convince. Strenuous efforts to create an authentically lacy Irish pub atmosphere are questionable—aren’t there any modern pubs in Dublin? 201 E. Pratt St., (410) 483-8968.

I TA L I A N AIDA BISTRO A sturdily performing Italian bistro located in the office-park wilds of Columbia, Aida delivers reliable salads and pasta dishes in a jazzy, welcoming atmosphere. With its cheerful, ever-present owners, a place worth getting to know. 7185 Columbia Gateway Drive, Columbia, (410) 953-0500. ALDO’S This Little Italy gem attracts a steady clientele of traveling gourmet diners. The hand-built dining rooms are splendid and plush. Obvious care is taken with assembling choice ingredients, mostly organic and locally purveyed, and with the flawless preparations. The fare nimbly negotiates the terrain between respectfulness for old-world tradition and mindfulness of contemporary diners’ expectations, especially at the restaurant’s La Vigilia celebration on Christmas Eve. 306 S. High St., (410) 727-0700. CAESAR’S DEN A working testament to the real pleasures of basic, solidly constructed Neapolitan cuisine. Tender veal and plump shrimp star on a menu that respects traditional preparations, and at its best, which is often—this place is consistent—the food feels like the home cooking of a native. Splurge on the spiedino alla romano— warm bread stuffed with mozzarella, topped with anchovy sauce—and pick your happy way through the pollo vesuviao, a roasted mix of bone-attached chicken cubes, homemade sausage, and potatoes. Calm atmosphere, fine service. 223 S. High St., (410) 547-0820. CIBO The folks behind Little Italy’s Aldo’s offer something for everyone here in a stylish suburban setting: entrée salads, shareable pizzas, deep-fried sea bass, and a terrific burger with lovely, lovely Gorgonzola. 100 Painters Mill Road, Owings Mills, (410) 902-2426. EATS & DRINKS LISTS RESTAURANTS PREVIOUSLY REVIEWED BY CITY PAPER.

C H E A P E AT S CATOCTIN POPCORN COMPANY

Name Birthday

Terms and Conditions: 50% off total food purchases (excludes beverages, taxes, and gratuity). An 18% gratuity will be added to all checks prior to discount. Offer limited to parties of no more than 8 guests. Voucher may be redeemed only once and has no cash value. Voucher may not be combined with any other offer, special menu, promotional menu, or regularly offered discounts, such as happy hour and daily specials. Manager has the right to alter or withdraw this offer without notice. Offer is valid at the Rockville, Baltimore, and Arlington locations ONLY. Email will only be used to provide guests with information on special events and discounts at La Tasca. You may elect to unsubscribe at any time. Express ad.

FEBRUARY 11, 2009

citypaper.com

M EL GUAPO

LEXINGTON MARKET, 400 W. LEXINGTON ST. Email

ON THE NEXT WEEKDAY AFTERNOON when you need a little snack to survive the day because you skipped lunch, head over to the Catoctin Popcorn stall at Lexington Market and take a gander at the many, many varieties of sweet and savory treats offered. The Frederick-based business stocks the usual coated-kernel treats—buttered, cheddar, caramel, chocolate, etc.—but also goes a bit further into the exotic and unusual, such as popcorn coated with white chocolate, jalapeno cheddar, and old English toffee. We’ve sampled three flavors so far. Both the pilgrim’s pumpkin pie and peanut butter cluster ($3.00 and $3.99 for 8 oz., respectively) were too sweet for this afternoon’s cravings, but Chesapeake crab corn ($1.79, 1.5 oz.) totally delivered. Salty, aromatic, and with a spicy finish, this flavorful treat is exactly what the taste buds needed to prime the tank for happy hour. (Bret McCabe)


“Come Come for t the view, view stay for the music”

13

Floor at The Belvedere

ut we loved with a love that was more than loveI and my Annabel Lee

I TA L I A N R E S TA U R A N T

Wednesday Feb. 11

Open Mic with Spice

sign in early

Open Mic starts start promptly at 8:30 PM

Thursday 12 “College night”

MON NIGHT CRAB CAKES $13.95 (single) $23.95 (double)

$2.00 Natty Boh -$3.oo shooters

Radio Caroline

Rock/Roots Music/Soul

TUE NIGHT PRIME RIB $15.95

Friday 13

WED NIGHT LOBSTER SEAFOOD FETTUCCINI $21.95

Special Event by Fortune5fifty (Fortune5fifty.com)

THU NIGHT NY STRIP ITALIANO $16.95 .95

3 DJs at The 13th/ 3 Bands at The 12th

Saturday 14 Patrick Alban & Noche Latina

A place where Edgar Allan Poe & Baltimore are celebrated

World/Salsa/Boleros

Now Featuring Late Night Happy Hour 11pm-Close M-F

$10 cover - $5 before 11:00 PM 1 E Chase St # 13 Baltimore, MD

601 S. Clinton St, • Canton 410-522-2929

www.myspace.com/13thfloorbaltimore

S I T T I N G AT H O M E Worrying only makes it worse, Helen’s Garden has recession specials that will please your palate as well as your pocketbook.

• DINING ROOM HAPPY HOUR Out by 7pm and get 20% off dinner check (except Wed. & Sun. Discounted & Special Items excluded) • TUESDAYS & THURSDAYS $16.95 SPECIALS 4oz Glass of Wine, Salad, Select Dinner Entrees. • WEDNESDAYS $12 ENTREES • OPEN LATE NIGHT, THURS.-SUN. Socialize in comfort with cocktails and lite fare til 1:30am • EXPANDED SUNDAY AFTERNOONS, 2-5PM Cocktails and appetizers at the bar between brunch and dinner • SATURDAY BRUNCH NOW SERVED 10AM-2PM • SUNDAY NIGHT, INDUSTRY NIGHT 10PM (present pay stub or ID card) $2 off cocktail for those in the food and beverage industry

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n This Mentio Free A Ad For ail! Cockt

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1005 BEARDS HILL RD ABERDEEN, MD 410.575.7773

Most Authentic Mexican Cuisine BEST MEXICAN RESTAURANT Zagat ‘06, City Paper ‘06 Baltimore Magazine ‘06 Style Magazine ‘06

FEBRUARY 14th 2009!

BE MY VALENTINE! Special Valentine’s Day Menu w/ FREE MARGARITA or SANGRIA Complimentary Flowers • Live Mariachi Music • AND A LOT OF FUN!

129 S Broadway at Pratt St Fells Point 410-522-4777 •restaurantearcos.com

Try Our Plato El Travador & Chipotle Fajitas!

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Zagat Rated 2007 Best Mexican Restaurant -Baltimore Magazine -AOL Cityguide -City Search Happy hour $2.50 Corona, Texas margarita & Modelo Special M-TH 4pm - 7pm

Mon-Thu $1 Sake 5:30-7:30

RESTAURANTE EL TROVADOR

2101 MARYLAND AVE. BALTIMORE (on the corner of Maryland Ave & 21st St.)

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310 S. BROADWAY • FELLS POINT (Between bank & Gough St.) • 410-276-6200 Convenient parking around the corner on Bank St. WWW.ELTROVADORRESTAURANT.COM • RESTAURANTEELTROVADOR.COM

citypaper.com

FEBRUARY 11, 2009

city paper | 35


BALTIMORE WEEKLY HIGHLIGHTS

FEB. 4 THROUGH FEB. 11

IN THE WEEKLY: CLUBS/CONCERTS 39 CLASSICAL 46 DANCE & DANCING 48 GAY & LESBIAN 48 STAGE 49 COMEDY 50 ART 50 WORDS 53 BENEFITS 54 COMMUNITY ACTION 54 SPECIAL EVENTS 54 TALKS PLUS 56 BUSINESS 58 SCREENS 58 KIDS 58 HEALTH & FITNESS 61 SPORTS & RECREATION 61 FILM 62 Not HIGH enough? See NOW HEAR THIS throughout the Baltimore Weekly calendar. We’d be glad to list your event in the Baltimore Weekly calendar. Send information in writing at least three weeks in advance to B a l t i m o r e W e e k l y, c /o City Paper, 812 Park Ave., Baltimore, MD 21201, or fax it to (410) 523-8437, or e-mail it to calendar@citypaper.com. We dig on images but cannot return them. All listings are subject to space limitations.

36 | city paper

THE SENATOR SESSIONS FEB. 13-15 9 P.M. Friday, 2-7 P.M. Saturday, 3-7 P.M. and 7-11 P.M. Sunday, Senator Theatre, 5904 York Road, (410) 435-9892, senator.com, missiontix.com, $12 a show, two for $20 advance, weekend pass $35, two for $50. It looks like the long-beleaguered Senator Theatre is moving along the path toward becoming a non-profit. Owner Tom Kiefaber is reportedly in talks with the city to secure a loan and reorganize the 70-year-old onescreen theater. In the meantime, the theater has decided, in the best Hollywood tradition, to put on a show to raise money to save the orphanage, um, theater. The Senator’s money problems have been in the news before, most recently in 2007, when more than $110,000 was raised after a call for help, but Kiefaber, in news releases on his web site, says that the wolf is really at the door this time, and the theater needs money to keep the doors open long enough to make the transition to non-profit ownership. Friday’s show will feature indie types (Payola Reserve, Wye Oak [pictured], John Hardy Boys, US Royalty, Nathan Bell) along with photos and short films. Saturday features bluegrass and acoustic tunes (Ken Kolodner Duo, Smooth Kentucky, and others) and Sunday there’s jazz in the afternoon (the Michael Raitzyk Quartet, Ebony and Irony) and something called “The Psychedelic, Post-VD Massacre Cleanup/Benefit for The Senator Theatre” in the eventing (Adrian Bond, Telesma, and a drum circle). The whole thing seems to be evolving on the fly, so check the Senator’s web site for the most current lineups. (Chris Landers)

WEDNESDAY 11

CHARLES DREW BLOOD AND BONE MARROW DRIVE 7:30 A.M.-5:45 P.M., Levering Hall, Glass Pavilion, Johns Hopkins University Homewood Campus, (410) 5160138, jhu.edu/outreach/ blooddrive, free of charge but you’ve gotta give up some corpuscles. There are millions of people walking around today who would not be if it weren’t for the contributions of Dr. Charles Drew. Among other things, Drew essentially invented the modern blood bank and the testing and storing procedures that make it possible for doctors to provide blood transfusions whenever needed. This week, in honor of Black History Month, the American Red Cross calls on you to honor Drew’s legacy by helping stock the Red Cross blood bank that Drew once ran by scheduling an appointment to give blood at Johns Hopkins University, and maybe even registering as a potential bone marrow donor. Oh, and any and all are welcome, since our blood is the same no matter what our skin color. Drew was out in front on that issue, too. (Lee Gardner)

Maestro Sensational

THURSDAY 12

MOTOR TREND INTERNATIONAL AUTO SHOW Through Feb. 15, noon-10 P.M. Thursday, 10 A.M.-10 P.M. Friday-Saturday, 10 A.M.-7 P.M. Sunday, Baltimore Convention Center, 1 W. Pratt St., autoshowbaltimore.com, (410) 649-7000, $4-$10, children ages 6 and under free. Sure, gas is down to a “reasonable” two bucks a gallon, but our Personal Economy is in the tank, and we’re certainly not gonna be helping turn the wheels of the automotive industry any time soon by purchasing a shiny new automobile, but tonight we get to run our hands over (and sit our behinds down in) gleaming examples

MARDI GRAS MADNESS!

FEBRUARY 11, 2009

citypaper.com


of Motor City madness, in “new model” and “concept car” form, and have serious conversations with chicks in bikinis and high heels about traction control, fuel injection, and torque curves without ever taking our eyes off the smooth glittering rump of that 2009 Maserati GranTurismo. (Joe MacCivic)

will be incorporating puppets into their act, though in this case, the definition of puppet is pretty loose. Oh, and this show isn’t for kids as there is likely to be some bawdy content in honor of Valentine’s Day, and because that man-sized sock is sure to scare the bejeesus out of them. (Anna Ditkoff)

FRIDAY 13

SUNDAY 15

MALBEC: ARGENTINA’S PREMIER VARIETAL

MILKSHAKE’S VALENTINE’S PARTY

4:30-7:30 P.M., Friday, 1:305:30 P.M. Saturday, the Wine Source, 3601 Elm Ave., (410) 467-7777, the-wine-source. com, free. OK, this is the last time we’re gonna say we never thought we would be contemplating attending a wine tasting in Hampden that didn’t involve a screw-top and the word “fortified.” This evening the Wine Source is offering Argentinian varietal wines, the kind made mostly outta one kind of grape, in this case the Malbec, and we’re ready to learn all about tannins and “vine pulls” while we’re sloshing some Mendoza-region vino around in our mouth, trying real hard to remember not to guzzle. Also, can we agree to lay off the Merlot jokes? (Joe MacRipple)

1 P.M., Creative Alliance at the Patterson, 3134 Eastern Ave., (410) 276-1651, creativealliance.org, $8, kids 2 and under free. Little kids may not be much into kissing, but they sure do love Valentine’s Day. We suspect it has something to do with all the candy. And, you know, the idea of nonaffectionate love. That doesn’t get uncool until later. Local little kids also love Milkshake, Baltimore’s foremost kid’s music band, and today the ‘Shakers play a special kid-friendly pop-rock post-VD afternoon concert at the Creative Alliance, in part to celebrate the release of their new DVD Screen Play! Plus kisses—the chocolate kind. (LG)

SATURDAY 14

7 P.M., the 5 Seasons, 830 Guilford Ave., (410) 625-9787, the5seasons.com, 8minutedating.com, $35. How did Valentine’s Day go? Seriously, did he or she do something special, or did you get hit with the old “It’s a madeup holiday” crap? Did you spend the holiday by yourself muttering about what a stupid holiday it is? Whether you’re single or trading in a lemon, you can meet some new prospects at the 5 Seasons’ regular 8minuteDating night. (Tonight’s event is for women ages 24-38 and men ages 25-39; March 2 is for lesbians 25-39.) This former Ethiopian restaurant is known for its hip-hop dance parties and

MAESTRO SENSATIONAL PRESENTS: SHRUNKEN LOVE 8:30 P.M., Black Cherry Puppet Theater, 1115 Hollins St., (410) 752-7272, blackcherry.org, $5. In honor of the hearts-and-flowers holiday, Black Cherry Puppet Theater is putting on a variety show hosted by a human-sized sock puppet with a handlebar mustache, Maestro Sensational. Fine artists and performers join with Black Cherry puppeteers and house band Walker and Jay for a night of what are sure to be unique performances. Everyone

MONDAY 16

8MINUTEDATING

GET LUCKYON FAT TUESDAY FEBRUARY 24TH 8-10PM

smooth, sexy spoken-word performances. And if that isn’t a setting for some legit romance, we don’t know what is. (AD)

TUESDAY 17

DRUMLINE LIVE 7:30 P.M., Meyerhoff Symphony Hall, 1212 Cathedral St., (410) 783-8000, bsomusic.org, $20-$60. In our house, life stops for Drumline—yes, the 2002 Nick Cannon movie about marching bands at historically black universities. Sure, it’s a bit of a hokey story about coming together to overcome adversity, but the band performances are tight. And tonight’s program provides the ideal chance to get the rhythmic goods without the melodrama. A large group of artists from historically black universities—including band musicians, dancers, steppers, and, yes, drummers—take the Meyerhoff stage and bring it. See you there. (Bret McCabe)

WEDNESDAY 18

BOOM TIC BOOM! 8 P.M., An die Musik, 409 N. Charles St., (410) 385-2638, andiemusiklive.com, $20. Warning: What follows is unambiguously sexist. Female drummers are hot. Period. From Maureen Tucker to Georgia Hubley, Janet Weiss to Susie Ibarra, Katherina Bornefeld to Sara Lund—hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, and hot. Add New York drummer Allison Miller to that list. Like many drummers, Miller has earned her keep as a session musician, providing the rustling pulse behind such songwriters as Ani DiFranco and Erin McKeown and touring with Doctor Lonnie Smith, Miller’s true talent emerges in her own jazz work, where she reveals her dynamic ear and intense, propulsive ideas. Tonight Miller brings her lithe Boom Tic Boom trio, featuring pianist Myra Melford and bassist Todd Sickafoose, to An die Musik with special guest violinist/vocalist Jenny Scheinman. Next up in sexism: Jazz violinists are hot. (BM)■

WIN A TRIP TO NEW ORLEANS, PRIZES FOR THE CROWNED KING & QUEEN! citypaper.com

FEB. 13

CLAUDIO SANCHEZ The hairy, crazy lead singer and guitarist of Coheed and Cambria with a cherubic face and wide smile, Clauido Sanchez, has a creative side project: Evil Ink Comics/VinylCut Toys. He’s celebrating the release of a Kill Audio seven-and-a-halfinch vinyl dude of himself that comes with a set of bloody accessories and a cleaver stuck in that mane along with his comic of the same name at Atomic Books’ wheelhouse/funhouse this weekend. Are little plastic knives as easy to lose as bitty high heels? 2:30-4 P.M., Atomic Books, 3620 Falls Road, (410) 662-4444, atomicbooks.com, free. (WW)

FEB. 13-15

72 HOURS OF BELGIUM Cheaper than a trip abroad and less amateur-night than St. Paddy’s day, Max’s Taphouse hosts its annual festival of all beers and foodstuffs Belgian this weekend by offering over 120 drafts and 175 bottles of the brew along with a special menu of dishes from the homeland. Cheers and hey, roll like you’re on vacay and catch a cab. 11 A . M .-close FridaySunday, Max’s Taphouse, 737 S. Broadway, (410) 675-6297, maxs.com, free entry but the tasty comes at a price. (WW)

Fabulous

TAVERN B A LT I M O R E

POWER PLANT LIVE FEBRUARY 11, 2009

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Valentine’s Day

PICKLES PUB 520 WASHINGTON BLVD., (410) 752-1784, PICKLESPUB.COM

Dinner

Pho Two $49

(Wine $24-$32 Value)

Reservations Preferred

38 | city paper

VENUES

)T´S /UR "IRTHDAY "UT 9OU 'ET THE 0RESENTS 4UESDAY &EBRUARY TH 3UNDAY &EBRUARY ND “Best Ethnic Restaurant” Baltimore Magazine ‘08 Vietnamese Cuisine Restaurant & Bar 1116 HOLLINS ST. 410.752.4PHO (4746)

(next to Hollins Market) Plenty of Parking Serving Dinner 4pm-10pm Closed Mondays FEBRUARY 11, 2009

BEING A BALL’S THROW AWAY from Camden Yards, of course Pickles Pub is a sports bar, boasting close to 10 really expensive looking TVs throughout its wide, nearly block-long floor plan. Fine, but the risk with a sports bar is alienating non-sports obsessed customers, people who might be more into booze or socializing than staring at a flat screen. Pickles avoids that pitfall by keeping the TV presence at a minimum while making damn sure you can check the score from any corner without straining your eyes. The bar is comfortable and spacious and the patronage cuts a wide swath from sports fans to Pigtown locals to the University of Maryland med school crowd, giving it a neighborhood vibe that belies the monolithic, sterile Hilton a block over. Drinkwise, the bar is nothing to write home about with eight or so taps of mostly mid-range-priced macro brews ($3.50 for a Yeungling, $4.50 for a Stella). They have liquor, but on a recent evening, everyone but us was drinking beer. We ordered whiskey/ginger and vodka/tonics and were surprised to get doubles on both rounds, priced reasonably at $6.25 and $4.75 respectively. (We also scarfed a plate of fried pickles for about $5 and recommend you do, too, because they kick the shit out of the ones at Rocket to Venus.) Best of all, this is the only bar we know of that has a cornhole setup. Google it. (Michael Byrne) ME L GUAP O

Spring Roll Appetizer, Selection of Clay Pot Entrees & Select Bottle of Red or White House Wine

DRINKS

citypaper.com

ANGELS ROCK BAR, 10 Market Place, (410) 528-1999, angelsrockbarbaltimore.com BARE BONES GRILL AND BREWERY, 9150 Baltimore National Pike, Ellicott City, (410) 461-0770, barebonesgrill.com THE BARN, 9527 Harford Road, Carney, (410) 882-6182, thebarnmd.com BELISIMO’S RISTORANTE AND CATERING, 2900 Baltimore Blvd., Reisterstown, (410) 833-5777, belisimos.com BLACK CAT, 1811 14th St. NW, Washington, (202) 667-7960, blackcatdc.com THE BLACK HOLE, 216 German Hill Road, (410) 285-7625, blackholerockclub.com BRASS MONKEY SALOON, 1601 Eastern Ave., (410) 276-4395, brassmonkeysaloon. com CAT’S EYE PUB, 1730 Thames St., (410) 276-9866, catseyepub.com THE CLADDAGH PUB, 2918 O’Donnell St., (410) 522-4220, claddaghonline.com CLUB ONE, 300 E. Saratoga St., (410) 2300049, onebaltimore.com CLUB ORPHEUS, 1003 E. Pratt St., (410) 276-5599 CLUB 347, 347 N. Calvert St., (410) 5470414, club347.com CROSSROADS TAVERN, 7354 Ritchie Highway, Glen Burnie, (410) 761-6199, crossroadstavern.com THE DEPOT, 1728 N. Charles St., (410) 528-0174, thedepot.us EDEN’S LOUNGE, 15 W. Eager St., (410) 244-0405, edenslounge.com THE 8X10, 10 E. Cross St., (410) 625-2000, the8x10.com EXPLORER’S LOUNGE, Intercontinental Harbor Court Hotel, 550 Light St., (410) 234-0550, harborcourt.com/restaurants/explorers_ lounge.cfm FISH HEAD CANTINA, 4802 Benson Ave., Arbutus, (410) 247-2474, fishheadcantina. com FLETCHER’S, 701 S. Bond St., (410) 5581889, fletchersbar.com 49 WEST, 49 West St., Annapolis, (410) 626-9796, 49westcoffeehouse.com GOOD LOVE BAR, 2322 Boston St., (410) 534-4588 GRAND CENTRAL, 1001/1003 N. Charles St., (410) 752-7133, centralstationpub. com

THE HEXAGON, 1825 N. Charles St., hexagonspace.com HIGH TOPPS BACKSTAGE GRILLE, 2306 York Road, Lutherville, (410) 560-7101, hightoppsbackstagegrille.com HIPPO, 1 W. Eager St., (410) 547-0069, clubhippo.com HOLIDAY HOUSE, 6427 Harford Road, (410) 426-6794 HORSE YOU CAME IN ON, 1626 Thames St., (410) 327-8111 JAMES JOYCE IRISH PUB AND RESTAURANT, 616 S. President St., (410) 727-5107, thejamesjoycepub.com JAXX, 6355 Rolling Road, West Springfield, Va., (703) 569-5940, jaxxroxx.com JAY’S ON READ, 225 W. Read St., (410) 225-0188, jaysonread.biz JOE SQUARED, 133 W. North Ave., (410) 545-0444, joesquared.com LATIN PALACE, 509 S. Broadway St., (410) 522-6700, latinpalace.com LEADBETTERS TAVERN, 1639 Thames St., (410) 675-4794, leadbetterstavern.com/ LOONEY’S PUB NORTH, 312 N. Main St., Bel Air, (410) 803-7080, looneyspubmd.com MACGREGOR’S, 331 Saint John St., Havre de Grace, (800) 300-6319, macgregorsrestaurant.com MICK O’SHEA’S, 328 N. Charles St., (410) 539-7504, mickosheas.com MOSAIC LOUNGE, 4 Market Place, (410) 262-8713, mosaic-lounge.com NEW HAVEN LOUNGE, 1552 Havenwood Road, Northwood Shopping Center, (410) 366-7416, newhavenlounge.net 9:30 CLUB, 815 V St. NW, Washington, (202) 265-0930, 930.com NOTTINGHAM’S, 8850 Stanford Blvd., suite 1100, Columbia, (410) 290-0077, nottinghams.net O’BRIEN’S OYSTER BAR, 113 Main St., Annapolis, (410) 268-6288, obriensoysterbar.com OLDE TOWNE TAVERN, 325 N. Market St., Frederick, (301) 695-1454, ottfrederick. com THE OTTOBAR, 2549 N. Howard St., (410) 662-0069, theottobar.com PALMA NIGHTCLUB, 200 E. Redwood St., (410) 244-1008, palmabaltimore.com PARADOX, 1310 Russell St., (410) 8379110, thedox.com PAUL’S BAR, 701 East Fort Ave., 443-3262060 PHILLIPS HARBORPLACE, 301 Light St.,

(410) 685-6600, phillipsseafood.com AN POITIN STIL, 2323 York Road, Timonium, (410) 560-7900, thestill.net RAMS HEAD LIVE, 20 Market Place, (410) 244-1131, ramsheadlive.com R A M S H E A D TAV E R N , 3 3 W e s t S t . , Annapolis, (410) 268-4545, ramsheadtavern.com RECHER THEATRE, 512 York Road, Towson, (410) 337-7178, rechertheatre.com THE RED HOUSE TAVERN, 2239 Essex St., (410) 522-3220, myspace.com/redhousetavern RED MAPLE, 930 N. Charles St., (410) 5470149, 930redmaple.com REDHOUSE TAVERN, 2239 Essex St., Canton, myspace.com/redhousetavern ROCK AND ROLL HOTEL, 1353 H St. NE, Washington, (202) 388-7625, rockandrollhoteldc.com RUSH HOUR SPORTS BAR AND GRILL, 9820 Liberty Road, Randallstown, (410) 5214050 RYAN’S DAUGHTER, 600 E. Belvedere Ave., Belvedere Square, (410) 464-1000, rdirishpub.com SEAN BOLAN’S IRISH PUB AND RESTAURANT, 12 S. Main St., Bel Air, (410) 803-1173, seanbolans.com SHORTY’S MARTINI BAR AND LOUNGE , 3301 Foster Ave., (410) 327-8696, shortysbaltimore.com SIDEBAR, 218 E. Lexington St., (410) 6594130, sidebartavern.com SILVER SHADOWS CLUB, 5550 Sterrett Place, Columbia, (410) 730-0111 SISTA’S PLACE, 8521 Liberty Road, Randallstown, (410) 922-9218 SONAR, 407 E. Saratoga St., (410) 7837888, sonarbaltimore.com SYLVESTER’S SALOON, 7326 Golden Ring Road, (410) 682-6043 TALKING HEAD, 407 E. Saratoga St., (410) 207-8011, talkingheadclub.com 13TH FLOOR AT THE BELVEDERE, 1 E. Chase St., (410) 347-0888, trufflescatering. com/13th/index.html TOWNE TAVERN, 1 0 2 5 7 Yo r k R o a d , Cockeysville, (410) 667-0774, townetavern. com TYSON’S TAVERN, 2112 Fleet St., (410) 342-2112, tysonstavern.net WATERFRONT HOTEL, 1710 Thames St., (410) 537-5055, waterfronthotel.us THE WINDUP SPACE, 10-12 W. North Ave., (410) 244-8855, thewindupspace.com


BALTIMORE WEEKLY

CLUBS/CONCERTS See LIVE MUSIC, page 38, for venue information.

WEDNESDAY 11 ANGELS ROCK BAR. L-80’s Night. BIRCHMERE. Sara Bareilles with Tony Lucca. BLACK CAT. Lambchop, Garland of Hours. THE BLACK HOLE. DJ Illah, Go Folk Yourself. CANCUN CANTINA. Vs. the Earth. CAT’S EYE PUB. Muleman Band. THE CLADDAGH PUB. Qi-Lo, Name This Tune. CLUB ONE. Salsa Uno with guest DJs. CLUB 347. The Panama Band. EDEN’S LOUNGE. Singles Night with DJ Tanz. EXPLORER’S LOUNGE. Dick Smith. JAXX. Decide, Vital Remains, Adrift, Order of Ennead, the 10th Hour, Mikhail. JAY’S ON READ. Larry Buck. JOE SQUARED. Due D’Angelos Quartet. LOONEY’S PUB NORTH. DJ Grode. THE OTTOBAR. Matt Pless, the Chemical Electric Flipside of Overdrive. RAMS HEAD TAVERN. Lloyd Dobler Effect, Pressing Effect. RED MAPLE. Oasis. ROCK AND ROLL HOTEL. Not Dead Yet, the Rebirth with DJ Derek Keane, Hoots and Hellmouth, the Jones, the Petticoat Team Room. RUSH HOUR SPORTS BAR AND GRILL. Ladies Night with DJ Spontaneous. SILVER SHADOWS CLUB. Open mic. TYSON’S TAVERN. Dave Miller, Ed Lauer and Frank Florence. WATERFRONT HOTEL. Pressing Strings. T H E W I N D U P S PA C E . R e f r e s h B a lt i m o r e Conversation.

THURSDAY 12 ANGELS ROCK BAR. Mayhem with DJs Supernik and Sean of the Dead. THE BARN. Cloudbreak. BIRCHMERE. Secondhand Serenade. BLACK CAT. (The Sounds of) Kaleidoscope, the Tennis System, Big Gold Belt. THE BLACK HOLE. Revelevens, No Dice, Dean Trinity, Silverware Snatchers, Low Class Trauma. BRASS MONKEY SALOON. Debbie Does Dallas, Goatbag, Kaemon. CAT’S EYE PUB. Skyla Burrell Blues Band. THE CLADDAGH PUB. DJ John Anthony. CLUB ORPHEUS. Glow Factor with DJ Warring, Umbris, and guests. CLUB 347. One Stop Beyond. EXPLORER’S LOUNGE. Dick Smith. FLETCHER’S. “The Search for the Next Great Metal Band” Week 2. HORSE YOU CAME IN ON. Angelique Henle. JAMES JOYCE IRISH PUB AND RESTAURANT. Damian Wolfe. JOE SQUARED. The Swing States Road Show, Barefoot Leroy, Vattel Cherry’s Soulstation, Lea Jones. LA PALAPA GRILL AND CANTINA. DJ Earl. LATIN PALACE. DC Latin Sound Band. LEPEARL BALLROOM. Networking and Karaoke Thursdays. LOONEY’S PUB NORTH. DJ Yummy. MICK O’SHEA’S. Fowler and Prout. MOSAIC LOUNGE. DJ Xclusive. PALMA NIGHTCLUB. DJ Chris Styles. RAMS HEAD LIVE. Ben Folds, Miniature Tigers. RAMS HEAD TAVERN. Sara Bareilles, Tony Lucca. RECHER THEATRE. Combichrist with Black Light Burns, Acey Slade, Ego Likeness.

RED MAPLE. Sol y Luna, Moog with DJ Patrick Turner, N’Dinga, Soulminer, and Brandon Riggs. RYAN’S DAUGHTER. Uncle Dave. SHORTY’S MARTINI BAR AND LOUNGE. Breakout. SONAR. Headboard Bangin, Tayland, Shy, Bishop, Regulus, Ironsoul, King Illah, Eleven 54, Thunder Bird Juice Box. TALKING HEAD. Karmella’s Game, Eureka Birds, Dead Mechanical, AV Club. TYSON’S TAVERN. The Billy Thomson Band. VELVET LOUNGE. Ghosts in the Valley, Sad Crocodile, Evan Bliss and the Welchers. WATERFRONT HOTEL. Loose Caboose. THE WINDUP SPACE. Turn Around Norman, Microkingdom, Jon Rogerson Group.

THE SHORT LIST BY MICHAEL BYRNE

WEDNESDAY: The Duc D’Angelos Quartet brings its downtempo, improvised electronics to Joe Squared. Matt Pless, a local singer/songwriter to keep and eye on, plays the Ottobar with the Chemical Electric Flipside of Overdrive.

THURSDAY: Dark, craggy art-punk outfit the Convocation rattles the

hosts a night of local power-pop/rock with Shook, Danger Man, and the Stuggotz. Amanda Otto’s monthly old-school soul party Reaction goes down at the Sidebar with guest band the Hot Pursuit. Vocalist Jennifer Blades and pianist James Harp perform Kurt Weill interpretations at An die Musik (Saturday night as well). Devon Sproule brings her lovely, unassuming folk-pop to the Windup Space with Andy Abelow and Bethany Dinsick. Rhyming force of nature Talib Kweli joins the criminally underrated Jean Grae at Sonar with DJ P-Funk, Busy Bee, Finton Arms, the Best, and

CONCERTS “WHAT IS THIS THING CALLED LOVE?” With Carolyn Black-Sotir. 7:30 P.M., Germano’s Trattoria, 300 S. High St., (410) 752-4515, germanostrattoria.com.

FRIDAY 13 BALTIMORE’S TREMONTS. Jazz night. THE BARN. Phoenix Rising. BENTZ STREET SPORTS BAR. Nighthawks. BIRCHMERE. The Del McCoury Band. BLACK CAT. Cucu Diamantes, BLACK CATatonia with DJ DK. THE BLACK HOLE. Just a Thought, Passing Time, My Summer, El Sledge, the Vast Difference. CAT’S EYE PUB. Nothin’ But Trouble. THE CLADDAGH PUB. DJ John Anthony. CLUB ORPHEUS. Ascension with DJs Kele-De, Steven Archer, Neska, and Liebchen. CLUB 347. DJ Biskit. EDEN’S LOUNGE. Flavor Fridays with DJ Titan. THE 8X10. Dangerman, Shook, the Stuggotz. EXPLORER’S LOUNGE. Brent Hardesty. FISH HEAD CANTINA. Butterfly Chuck. FLETCHER’S. Missile Command. GOOD LOVE BAR. Pure. HOLIDAY HOUSE. Loan Me A Dime. JAMES JOYCE IRISH PUB AND RESTAURANT. Quilo. JAXX. Too Pure to Die and Catalepsy. JAY’S ON READ. Dave Kessler, Dick Smith. JOE SQUARED. Scott Alexander Makes Friends, the Zombie Nationalists, the Dirty Marmaduke Flute Squad, Karter Jaymes. L O O N E Y ’ S P U B N O R T H . Dennis Schocket, Tripwire. METRO GALLERY. The Snowmen, Cortez Cortez, Inflatable Hair. MICK O’SHEA’S. Whale Show. NEW HAVEN LOUNGE. Funk Daddy G. 9:30 CLUB. Emmet Swimming, Trustfall and Adam Swink, Holy Ghost, Mike Simonetti, Will Eastman. NOTTINGHAM’S. Faded Image. OLDE TOWNE TAVERN. Fuze. THE OTTOBAR. Ghouls Night Out Misfits Tribute. PALMA NIGHTCLUB. DJ Soulstar. PHILLIPS HARBORPLACE. Brain Comotto. PICKLES PUB. Karaoke night. AN POITIN STIL. Rob Fahey and the Pieces. RAMS HEAD TAVERN. Sara Bareilles, Tony Lucca. RECHER THEATRE. Lotus: Hammerstrike Tour. RED MAPLE. Rhythm! with DJ Alex Funk. RYAN’S DAUGHTER. Damion Wolfe. SHORTY’S MARTINI BAR AND LOUNGE. RADAR. SIDEBAR. Reaction! with Amanda Otto and the Hot Pursuit. SONAR. BaltSoundManagement, Eden Burns, Swag Box, Carsinogen, Sordid, One Minute, Emeralds as Eyes, Talib Kweli, Ean Grae, DJ P-Funk, Busy Bee, Finton Arms, the B.E.S.T., Justin Time, Busy Bee Enterprises.

goes off in a big way tonight at Paradox with vocal house diva Inaya Day performing live, along with DJs Jerome Hicks and Sam Burns manning the decks in the main room, and the Unruly posse of Say Wut, Chris Brooks, and Will Roc spinning in the “chamber.”

SUNDAY: Moscow Telephone—a Baltimore postrock ensemble a la an overpowered, angry Explosions in the Sky—shakes the panes at the Charm City Art Space with New York based out-folk bands Rejouissance and Manson Family Picnic and local indie-pop outfit Tiger Hill. Afton Live—formerly known as Big Time Entertainment, an alleged pay-toplay operation—hosts a long list of unknowns at Talking Head (listed at sonarbaltimore.com). Ambient artist Lusine brings his sleepy electronic hums and burbles to the Hexagon with the Sight Below and Aligning Minds. Jammy electronic outfit Basshound plays the 8X10 with the Data Frogs.

MONDAY: The Peabody Student Jazz Ensemble performs at An die Musik; jazz outfit Longbottom hits Joe Squared. The fucking Bloodhound Gang plays the fucking Recher Theatre, and all hope is lost; El Destructo and J.J. Sinatra open.

LEE “SCRATCH” PERRY Hexagon with Hawks, Kakerlak, and Death Dominion. Quirk-pop superhero Ben Folds performs at Rams Head Live with Miniature Tigers. Karmella’s Game brings its tight, prog-ish pop-rock to the Talking Head with Eureka Birds, Dead Mechanical, and AV Club.

FRIDAY: The Dirty Marmaduke F l u t e S q u a d , a l o c a l g o o frock outfit heavy on costumes, hits Joe Squared with Zombie Nationalists, Scott Alexander, and Wild Bonerz, a Flute Squad offshoot that supposedly plays bluegrass covers of ’80s songs. Philly psych-rock ensemble Cortez! Cortez!! stops off at the Metro Gallery with Inflatable Hair and the Snowmen. The Big Bang dance party goes down at the Hexagon with Baltimore club maestro DJ Booman (of Doo Dew Kidz and 410 Pharaohs fame), Philly’s Emynd and Bo Bliz, and Adam Gonzo. The Ottobar hosts a Misfits tribute night with Can’t Hang, the Marksman, the Carbon Kin, and Remember the City. Multi-genre jam-band smear Lotus noodles its way through Towson’s Recher Theatre with Orchard Lounge. Bukkake Party Tonight, a virulent hardcore/punk band with an interesting sense of humor, pounds away at the Talking Head with the Mostly Dead, Press Black, and the Scare. The 8X10

Justin Time. Post Marilyn Manson shock-rock outfit Slipknot performs at 1st Mariner Arena with Coheed and Cambria and Trivium. Oldschool party MC extraordinaire Reggie Reg kicks off his new We Are Grown party at Palma—geared for the 30-and-up crowd, expect a mix of dance club oldies from Reggie himself, DJ Sean Tee, and Jammer, of Magic 95.9 fame.

SATURDAY: Double-bassist

TUESDAY: The Takeover UK, actually from Pittsburgh, brings its honed ’60s-pop-meets-’70s-garage steez to the Talking Head with the Crash Moderns. The almighty Lee “Scratch” Perry, grandfather of dub, performs at Sonar with HR and the Human Rights Band and Lionize.

WEDNESDAY: Jailbait screamo band Our Last Night grabs up some of your kid’s allowance money at Sonar with Before Their Eyes, I See Stars, the Kindness of Strangers, and the Lost Tourists. Pop-treated hardcore outfit Ghosts in the Valley haunts the Sidebar with the Empire State.

Reuben Radding joins lauded improvisational trombonist Jen Baker at the Red Room at Normals IN THE WINGS: Just added to Books and Records. DJ Dog Dick, the Hexagon’s calendar, electroacoustic shaman a love-or-hate noise/ Christopher Willits hip-hop/electro comes to town Feb. something or other 22 with Ami Dang project, gets manic FOR MORE SHOW and WKC. (For at the Hexagon with PREVIEWS, REVIEWS more information Beastmaster and AND ANY OTHER visit myspace.com/ Nuclear Power MUSIC INFO FIT TO lofisocialclub.) Pants. If the words PRINT ONLINE, Thundering doom “metal” and “polka” PLEASE TO VISIT outfit Witch comes hyphenated don’t NOISE.CITYPAPER.COM to the Ottobar Feb. give you bad dreams, 28 with Earthless, Polkadot Cadaver Vincent Black delivers it at the Shadow, and the Ottobar with Burn the Fields and Dead Men Sway. Flying Eyes. (For more information The Reticents, a straight-up blown call [410] 662-0069 or visit capillary hardcore outfit, redefines theottobar.com.) And for more show “romantic” at the Sidebar with previews, reviews, and any other the Living Wrecks, Corporate music info fit to print online, please Agenda, Tight Fits, and I Decide. visit City Paper’s music blog Noise at noise.citypaper.com. Ultra Nat é ’s Deep Sugar party citypaper.com

FEBRUARY 11, 2009

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BALTIMORE WEEKLY

NOW HEAR THIS CLU BS/CONCERTS

CONTINUED

SYLVESTER’S SALOON. Walk-ins welcome. TALKING HEAD. Bukkake Party Tonight, the Mostly Dead, Press Black, the Scare. 13TH FLOOR AT THE BELVEDERE. Fortune5Fifty. TOWNE TAVERN. TimberWolf. TYSON’S TAVERN. Dave Miller. WATERFRONT HOTEL. The Daling Clementine, Unity Reggae Band. THE WINDUP SPACE. Matt Curreri, Andy Abelow, Devon Sproule and Her In-Laws, Bethany Dinsick.

CONCERTS IONA. 8 P.M., the Cellar Stage, Faith Community United Methodist Church of Hamilton, (410) 5219099, uptownconcerts.com, $20. LIFE, LOVE AND LAUGHTER. Jennifer Blades and James Harp with songs from Kurt Weill’s Americana. 8 P.M., An die Musik, 409 N. Charles St., (410) 385-2638, andiemusik.com, $20, seniors $15, students $10. THE SENATOR SESSIONS: A BALTIMORE REVUE. Benefit show for the Senator Theatre featuring the Payola Reserve, Wye Oak, the John Hardy Boys, US Royalty, Nathan Bell, Rob Timm, and Alex Cortright. 9 P.M., Senator Theatre, 5904 York Road, (410) 435-9892, senator.com, missiontix.com, $12. SLIPKNOT. With Coheed and Cambria and Trivium. 7 P.M., 1st Mariner Arena, 201 W. Baltimore St., (410) 347-2020, baltimorearena.com, $24.50-$43.

SATURDAY 14 BALTIMORE’S TREMONTS. Jazz night. BARE BONES GRILL AND BREWERY. Time Will Tell. THE BARN. Awaken. BIRCHMERE. Burlesque-A-Pades. BL ACK CAT. Mousetrap, the Ambitions and the Electricutions. BRASS MONKEY SALOON. V-Day Night Out, Make Love and War. CAT’S EYE PUB. Nothin’ But Trouble, Roger Girke Band. THE CLADDAGH PUB. DJ John Anthony. CLUB ONE. Live Life Love. CLUB ORPHEUS. Rapture with host K and DJs Xy, Threshold, and VJ Umbris. CROSSROADS TAVERN. Korupt. THE DEPOT. Awakening Goa Trance with DJ Exeris. EDEN’S LOUNGE. Chic Saturdays. THE 8X10. Natural Breakdown. EMERALD TAVERN. Invasion. ERIC’S BANQUET HALL. Karaoke Theme Party. EXPLORER’S LOUNGE. Brent Hardesty, David Smith. FISH HEAD CANTINA. The Pawns. 49 WEST. Redd Brothers Valentine’s Show. GRAND CENTRAL. Dance Central. JAMES JOYCE IRISH PUB AND RESTAURANT. Valentine’s Day Singles Party with Someone Else. JAY’S ON READ. Dave Kessler, Phil Vendemmia. JOE SQUARED. Sujay Pathak, the Sobriquets, Magnet South, Caroline Smith and the Good Night Sleeps. JUDGE’S BENCH PUB. Mark Jacob. LA PALAPA GRILL AND CANTINA. DJ Vega. LOONEY’S PUB NORTH. Love Seed Mama Jump. MACGREGOR’S. Mike Needer, Pat Owens, the Solution. MICK O’SHEA’S. The Flying Cows of Ventry. M O S A I C L O U N G E . DJ s M r A n d e r s o n a n d Armando. 9:30 CLUB. Rodney Atkins with the Lost Trailers. OLDE TOWNE TAVERN. Outbreak. THE OTTOBAR. Funky Reggae Party, Kevin Seconds, FEBRUARY 11, 2009

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TALIB KWELI, JEAN GRAE FEB. 13 Granted, neither Talib Kweli (pictured) or Jean Grae are exactly endangered species around these parts, but a chance to see two of the finer lyrical surgeons performing together today shouldn’t be missed. Kweli was a member of the late, lamented Black Star before striking out into a solo career that, over the past 10 or so years, has turned his cred from gold to diamond. For Kweli it’s always been about craft before fame, and he’s become a rap deity— in the verse of Jay-Z, “If skills sold, truth be told/ I’d probably be, lyrically, Talib Kweli.” The razor-tongued Jean Grae (né Tsidi Ibrahim), between collaborating with everyone from Masta Ace to Kweli in between dropping her own devastating solo work, is arguably the best female rapper active. 9 P.M., Sonar, 407 E. Saratoga St., (410) 783-7888, sonarbaltimore.com, $20. (Michael Byrne)

Vic Reggiero, Kepi, Clint Maul, Polka Dot Cadaver, Burn the Fields, Dead Men Sway. PALMA NIGHTCLUB. Fuzion Saturdays featuring Damien Daniel. PAR ADOX. Deep Sugar with Ultra Nate and DJs Jerome Hicks, Lisa Moody, Soulgiver, and Disconapper. PAUL’S BAR. Karaoke with DJ DanDaMan. PHILLIPS HARBORPLACE. Brain Comotto. RAMS HEAD LIVE. Dave Matthews Band Tribute. RECHER THEATRE. Lotus: Hammerstrike Tour. RYAN’S DAUGHTER. Denny Grizzle. SEAN BOLAN’S IRISH PUB AND RESTAURANT. Gregg Simmons. SIDEBAR. St. Valentine’s Day Massacre, the Reticents, the Living Wrecks, Corporate Agenda, Tight Fits, I Decide. SYLVESTER’S SALOON. Beyond the Scar, Charles Parker Band. TYSON’S TAVERN. The Breakers. WATERFRONT HOTEL. Nell, Old Man Brown. THE WINDUP SPACE. Face Time: Funk, Soul, and Outta Control. CONTINUED ON PAGE 44


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BALTIMORE WEEKLY CLU BS/ CONCERTS

CONTINUED

CONCERTS

THE BOBWHITES. 8 P.M.-midnight, Lithuanian Hall, 851-3 Hollins St., (410) 685-5787, $10. LIFE, LOVE AND LAUGHTER. Jennifer Blades and James Harp with songs from Kurt Weill’s Americana. 8 P.M., An die Musik, 409 N. Charles St., (410) 385-2638, andiemusik.com, $20, seniors $15, students $10. RED ROOM SHOW. With Reuben Radding and Jen Baker plus DJ Sniff and Keir Neuringer. 8:30 P.M., Red Room, Normals Books and Records, 425 E. 31st St., (410) 243-6888, redroom.org, $6. THE SENATOR SESSIONS: ACOUSTIC LOVE SONGS AND OTHER TRAUMAS. Benefit show for the Senator Theatre featuring Ken Kolodner, Smooth Kentucky, ilyAIMY, Ellen Cherry, and the Swing States Road Show. 2-7:30 P.M., Senator Theatre, 5904 York Road, (410) 4359892, senator.com, missiontix.com, $12.

SUNDAY 15 BIRCHMERE. Cowboy Junkies. BL ACK CAT. Kevin Seconds, Vic Ruggiero, Kepi Ghoulie. CAT’S EYE PUB. Steve Kraemer and the Bluesicians, T.T. Tucker and the Bum Rush Band. CHARM CITY ART SPACE. Moscow Telephone, Rejouissance, Tiger Hill, Manson Family Picnic. THE CLADDAGH PUB. Premiere Karaoke. CLUB ONE. Sunday Steam with DJ Tanz. THE 8X10. Basshound, Data Frogs. THE HEXAGON. Luisine, the Sight Below, Aligning Minds, Radere. HORSE YOU CAME IN ON. Rob Fahey.

JAMES JOYCE IRISH PUB AND RESTAURANT. Karma. JAXX. The Crush ‘Em All Tour. JOE SQUARED. Todd Marcus Trio open jazz jam session, Uncle John Sawbriar. LEADBETTERS TAVERN. Pat Owens. LOONEY’S PUB NORTH. DJ Will. METRO GALLERY. Spread the Love with Noble Lake and Mr. Mocassin. 9:30 CLUB. Next Big Thing. THE OTTOBAR. The Everlove, This Condition, Halfway to the Moon, the Hello Approach, the Great American Soundtrack, Courage Call. PALMA NIGHTCLUB. Noche Sensual Latin Night featuring DJ Chris “Bemba.” PHILLIPS HARBORPLACE. Dick Smith. RAMS HEAD TAVERN. Angie Stone. RED MAPLE. Professional Soul Night. REDHOUSE TAVERN. Slumdaze. SONAR. Pirate Rob’s Birthday Bash, DNL Baltimore, Pasadena, the Grilled Lincolns, Ballyhoo!, 86 the Effort, Bond and Bently. TALKING HEAD. Afton Live, Sebastian Price, Porcelain Doll Club, My Personal Apocalypse, Jess Banner, Craig Leland Sparks, Between the Bars, Jessica Ballantine, Matthew Talley. WATERFRONT HOTEL. Radio Dials, Eric Scott Band.

CONCERTS HIP-HOP FOR THE HOMELESS BENEFIT SHOW. 3-8 P.M., Five Seasons Restaurant, 830 Guilford Ave., (410) 625-9787, the5seasons.com, $10. THE DAVE LIEBMAN QUINTET FEATURING RANDY BRECKER: FROM MILES TO TRANE. In honor of African-American History Month. 5 P.M., Baltimore

Museum of Art, 10 Art Museum Drive, (410) 385-5888, artbma.org, baltimorechamberjazz.org, $28, members and seniors $26, students $10. THE SENATOR SESSIONS: LEF T BANK JAZZ REVISITED. Benefit show for the Senator Theatre presented by Be Mo Jazz featuring the Michael Raitzyke Quartet, Ebony and Irony, and Be Mo Jazz Ensemble. 3-7 P.M., Senator Theatre, 5904 York Road, (410) 435-9892, senator.com, missiontix.com, $12. THE SENATOR SESSIONS: THE PSYCHEDELIC, POST-VD MASSACRE. Benefit show for the Senator Theatre presented by Be Mo Jazz featuring Drum Circle, Adrian Bond, and Telesma. 7-11 P.M., Senator Theatre, 5904 York Road, (410) 435-9892, senator.com, missiontix.com, $12.

SHORTY’S MARTINI BAR AND LOUNGE . Noize in the Attic. S I S T A’ S P L A C E . M e ga M o n d ay s w i t h DJ Spontaneous. TALKING HEAD. Cinema Mondays Double Feature Night, Blow Up, Head with the Monkees. WATERFRONT HOTEL. Bonnie Boswell.

MONDAY 16

BIRCHMERE. Al Jarreau. BLACK CAT. Turboslut, Pygmy Lush. THE BLACK HOLE. Revenge of the Riff with Christoff from 98 Rock. CAT’S EYE PUB. Rob Hughes and the Heaters. THE CLADDAGH PUB. Will Hill. CLUB 347. Out of the Box. EDEN’S LOUNGE. Open mic and spoken word with Fertile Ground and Olu Butterfly. THE 8X10. Five Bands for Five Bucks. EXPLORER’S LOUNGE. Dick Smith. FLETCHER’S. Go Crash Audio. HIPPO. Showtune Video Madness. HORSE YOU CAME IN ON. Open mic. JAXX. Bob Gaynor. JAY’S ON READ. Herb Merrick. JOE SQUARED. Dig with Landis Expandis and DJ Napspace. JUDGE’S BENCH PUB. Mark Jacob.

BIRCHMERE. Angie Stone. BLACK CAT. The Dig, Lucky Dub. CAT’S EYE PUB. Phil Cunneff Jazz Trio. CHARM CITY AR T SPACE. Lion of Judah, the Mongoloids, Plagueland, Bad Seed, Werewolves. THE CLADDAGH PUB. Ed Lauer, Frank Florence. THE DEPOT. Maximum Soul Mondaze with Selector Pablo Fiasco. EDEN’S LOUNGE. Live Jazz with Lady D. hosted by Mully Man. THE 8X10. Nice Package. HORSE YOU CAME IN ON. Rockin’ Karaoke. JOE SQUARED. Longbottom. LOONEY’S PUB NORTH. Dennis Schocket. RECHER THEATRE. Bloodhound Gang with El Destructo and J.J. Sinatra. REDHOUSE TAVERN. Fools and Horses.

CONCERTS PEABODY JAZZ STUDENTS. With Zach Swanson on bass, Charles Sekel on piano and keyboard, and Nathan EllmanBell on drums. 7:30 P.M., An die Musik, 409 N. Charles St., (410) 385-2638, andiemusik.com, $8, students $5.

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Incognito ups the ante with More Tales Remixed, in which the group unleashes some of the world’s most prominent DJs on the original tracks. With the help of luminaries like Dimitri from Paris & DJ Meme from Brazil, Brooklyn’s Tortured Soul, UK’s Ski Oakenfull, Germany’s Christian Prommer and many others, More Tales Remixed takes the high energy of the original material and jacks it up even further with infectious dance mixes.

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FEBRUARY 11, 2009

city paper | 45


46 | city paper

BALTIMORE WEEKLY CLU BS/CONCERTS

CONTINUED

LA PALAPA GRILL AND CANTINA. College night with DJ. O’BRIEN’S OYSTER BAR. Kajun Kelley. RAMS HEAD TAVERN. Eric Lindell and Anders Osborne. THE RED HOUSE TAVERN. Acoustic open mic. RED MAPLE. Live Flamenco with guitarist Ricardo Marlow. SHORTY ’S MARTINI BAR AND LOUNGE. Dirty Ralph and B-Side. SONAR. Lee ‘Scratch’ Perry, HR and the Human Rights Band, Lionize, Fasimba Sound. TALKING HEAD. The Takeover UK, the Crash Moderns. TYSON’S TAVERN. Ken Gutberlet. WATERFRONT HOTEL. Jettison, Ed Lauer and Frank Florence.

NOW HEAR THIS

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CONCERTS DEAD AIR: THE END OF ANALOG PARTY. Concert to follow at 8 P.M. with Lo Moda, Plans Plans, and Edie Sedgewick. 7-11 P.M., Metro Gallery, 1700 N. Charles St., themetrogallery.net, $6. DRUMLINE LIVE. Inspired by the 2002 film, Drumline, DRUMLine Live is a theatrical production that brings the music and dance from the film to the concert stage. 7 P.M., Meyerhoff Symphony Hall, 1212 Cathedral St., (410) 783-8000, baltimoresymphony.org, $20-$60. JAZZ AT GERMANO’S. With the Ashton Fletcher Trio. 7:30 P.M., Germano’s Trattoria, 300 S. High St., (410) 752-4515, germanostrattoria.com, $10.

WEDNESDAY 18 ANGELS ROCK BAR. L-80’s Night. BIRCHMERE. Nitty Gritty Dirt Band. THE BLACK HOLE. DJ Illah. CANCUN CANTINA. Vs. the Earth. CAT’S EYE PUB. Lower Case Blues. CLUB ONE. Salsa Uno with guest DJs. CLUB 347. The Panama Band. EDEN’S LOUNGE. Singles Night with DJ Tanz. THE 8X10. The Cheaters, the Grilled Lincolns, Lower Case Blues. EXPLORER’S LOUNGE. Dick Smith. FLORISTREE. Mahjongg. 49 WEST. Starr’s Jazz Jam. JAY’S ON READ. Larry Buck. JOE SQUARED. Segway. JUDGE’S BENCH PUB. Wes Cohen. LOONEY’S PUB NORTH. DJ Grode. THE OTTOBAR. Between the Shores, Isetta, Onlu Noise, All we Are, Kiss the Sky Goodbye. AN POITIN STIL. Moe Stringz. RED MAPLE. Oasis. ROCK AND ROLL HOTEL. Not Dead Yet, the Rebirth with DJ Derek Keane. THE ROCKFISH. Kajun Kelley. RUSH HOUR SPORTS BAR AND GRILL. Ladies Night with DJ Spontaneous. SIDEBAR. Ghosts in the Valley and the Empire State. SILVER SHADOWS CLUB. Open mic. SONAR. Our Last Night, Before Their Eyes, I See Stars, the Kindness of Strangers, the Lost Tourists. TYSON’S TAVERN. Dave Miller, Ed Lauer, Frank Florence.

CONCERTS BOOM TIC BOOM! With Myra Melford on piano, Todd Sickafoose on bass, and Allison Milleron drums and special guest Jenny Scheinman on violin. 8 P.M., An die Musik, 409 N. Charles St., (410) 385-2638, andiemusik.com, $20. THE GIPSY KINGS. 8 P.M., Lyric Opera House, 140 W. FEBRUARY 11, 2009

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Given Paradox parties don’t get cracking till well after midnight, you’ve got no good excuse to pass on what’s sounding like an epic Deep Sugar night. The two-room, allnight dance meltdown headed up by Baltimore’s contribution to international divadom, Ultra Naté, boasts a performance tonight by New York’s Inaya Day, a soulful house-music vocalist who’s done work with names such as Missy Elliott and Bootsy Collins, and rattled the housemusic world with a grin-inducing cover of Vanity 6’s “Nasty Girl.” Tonight’s she also unveiling a new track for the Deep Sugar label, “Reap.” Unruly Records handles the club’s back room with two of Baltimore’s most idiosyncratic club producers Will Roc and Say Whut (pictured). 11 P.M., Paradox, 1310 Russell St., thedox.com, $15, $10 before midnight. (Michael Byrne)

Mount Royal Ave., (410) 685-5086, lyricoperahouse. com, $34.50-$74.50. RED ROOM SHOW. A Night at the Concert: Mattin with Stephanie Barber and Jenny Graf. 8:30 P.M., Red Room, Normals Books and Records, 425 E. 31st St., (410) 243-6888, redroom.org, $6.

CLASSICAL WEDNESDAY 11 PEABODY WIND ENSEMBLE. 7:30 P.M., Friedberg Concert Hall, Peabody Conservatory of Music, 1 E. Mount Vernon Place, (410) 659-8124, peabody.jhu. edu, $15, seniors $10, students $5.

SATURDAY 14 VALENTINE’S DAY WITH THE BOROWSKYS. “Celebrating Love With Music” with works by Bach, Chopin, Mendelssohn, Tchaikovsky, and Borowsky. 2 P.M., An die Musik, 409 N. Charles St., (410) 385-2638, andiemusik.com, $20, seniors $15, students $10.

SUNDAY 15 MONUMENT PIANO TRIO. Artist in Residence. 7:30 P.M., An die Musik, 409 N. Charles St., (410) 385-2638, andiemusik.com, $20, students $12.


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FEBRUARY 11, 2009

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DANCE & DANCING WEDNESDAY 11 CHARM CITY SWING LESSONS. 7:30-10:30 P.M. , Vietnam Veterans of America, Baltimore Chapter 451, 6401 Beckley St., (443) 928-4797, charmcityswing.com. CONTRADANCING. No prior experience; sponsored by Baltimore Folk Music Society. 8 P . M ., Lovely Lane Methodist Church, 2200 St. Paul St., (410) 366-0808, $12, BFMS members and affiliates $8, student discount.

THURSDAY 12 NIA MOVEMENT/DANCE CL ASSES. Bring a friend and get 1/2 off. 8-9 P.M., Homewood Friends Meeting House, 3107 N. Charles St., (443) 845-6224, $13 drop-in. TANGO FUSION. No partner necessary and all levels welcome. 8:30-10 P.M., StudioDNA, 1301 Baylis St., Suite # 228, (443) 794-1139, $12.

FRIDAY 13 1 8 T H A N N UA L VA L E N T I N E ’ S D R E S S - U P DANCE. A Swing/Jitterbug workshop with Chuck Alexander and Caz and the Commotions. 8-10 P . M ., American Legion Towson Post #22, 125 York Road, Towson, (410) 583-7337, fridaynightswing. com, $12. VALENTINE’S EVE TANGO MILONGA. With DJ Rachel Morrison. 9 P.M.-midnight, the Library, 1401 Light St., (443) 708-0282, thelibraryproject.net, $15.

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48 | city paper

FEBRUARY 11, 2009

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VALENTINE’S DAY TANGO MILONGA/SALSA PARTY. 8 P.M.-2 A.M., the Ark, 29 S. Front St., (202) 744-8119, dancingwithgrace.com, $30, lesson only $10, admission only (after 9:15 P.M.) $12. VALENTINE’S WEEKEND TANGO WORKSHOPS. With Alberto Paz and Valorie Hart. Contact Jamie Roberts for scheduling availability/information at latangoista@gmail.com. 1-4:15 P.M., also Sunday, the Library, 1401 Light St., (202) 744-8119, thelibraryproject.net, Tangazo Pass $90, $160 a couple, $20 a workshop.

SUNDAY 15 MILONGA NUEVOS AIRES. 6:30-9:30 P.M., Latin Palace, 509 S. Broadway St., (202) 744-8119, latinpalace.com, fontanatango.com, $10-$15.

MONDAY 16 CHARM CITY SWING. Beginner lesson 8-9 P . M ., open dancing 9-11:30 P.M. Little Texas, 8014 Pulaski Highway, Rosedale, (410) 574-0696, lasbarandgrill. com, charmcityswing.com, lesson $10, students $5, $5 dance (free for students).

TUESDAY 17 FOUR WEEKS OF DANCE. No experience is needed, come dressed to dance. 6:30-8:30 P.M., Eubie Blake Jazz Institute and Cultural Center, 847 N. Howard St., (410) 225-3130, eubieblake.org, $2-$5.

WEDNESDAY 18 BALLROOM DANCING. Lessons presented by Helmut Licht with complimentary buffet and soda. 6-9:30 P.M., the Belvedere, 1 E. Chase St., (410) 332-1000, $17. TANGO FUNDAMENTALS. No experience or partner needed. 7-8 P.M. and advanced 8-9 P.M., BlueHouse, 1407 Fleet St., (410) 563-4200, bluehouselife.com/ cafe.php, theotherkiss.com, $10-$12.

DANCE CONCERTS FRIDAY 13 BELLY DANCING SHOW. Reservations recommended. 10 P.M., also Saturdays, Cazbar, 316 N. Charles St., (410) 528-1222, cazbarbaltimore.com. MARIN ALSOP AND SAVION GLOVER. Marin Alsop and tap dancer Savion Glover collaborate with the BSO to bring you this rhythmic and electrifying experience featuring music by Bernstein, Barber, John Adams, and jazz composer James P. Johnson. 8 P.M., Music Center at Strathmore, 5301 Tuckerman Lane, Bethesda, (301) 581-5100, strathmore.org, $25-$80.

SATURDAY 14 MARIN ALSOP AND SAVION GLOVER. Marin Alsop and tap dancer Savion Glover collaborate with the BSO to bring you this rhythmic and electrifying experience featuring music by Bernstein, Barber, John Adams, and jazz composer James P. Johnson. 8 P.M., also Sunday, Meyerhoff Symphony Hall, 1212 Cathedral St., (410) 783-8000, baltimoresymphony. org, $25-$80.

SUNDAY 15 BALTIMORE CITY PUBLIC SCHOOLS DANCE SYMPOSIUM. Teams from local school representing more than 100 dancers will perform modern, jazz, ballet, and African routines. Judges from outside the school district will award the dance teams in various categories.3 P.M., Western High School, 4600 Falls Road, (410) 396-8610, $5, ages 7 and under $3. DANCING THROUGH SOUTH AFRICA. Experience South African culture as Lesole’s Dance Project performs Zulu, gumboot and street dances. 2 P.M., Enoch Pratt Free Library, central library, 400 Cathedral St., (410) 396-5430, prattlibrary.org/locations/, free .

GAY & LESBIAN ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS. 8:30 P.M. Thursdays and Mondays, 6:30 P.M. Saturdays, Gay and Lesbian Community Center of Baltimore, 241 W. Chase St., (410) 837-5445, glccb.org, free. BEGINNER’S YOGA. 3:30 P . M . Sundays, 7:15 P . M . Wednesdays, Gay and Lesbian Community Center of Baltimore, 241 W. Chase St., (410) 837-5445, glccb. org, $9. BROTHERS OF BARAZA. Black same gender loving men discussion group. Fridays, the Portal, Baltimore’s African-American GLBT Community Center, 2419 Greenmount Ave., suite 4, (410) 962-8838, theportalbmoreonline.org. FREE HIV AND STD TESTING.5-8 P.M.Tuesdays-Thursdays, Gay and Lesbian Community Center of Baltimore, 241 W.


BALTIMORE WEEKLY Chase St., (410) 837-5445, glccb.org, free. HEAR TS AND EARS, INC. DROP-IN AND RESOURCE CENTER. 4-9 P.M. Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Saturdays, 1-6 P.M. Sundays, Hearts and Ears, Inc., 10 W. Biddle St., suite 1F, (410) 528-0444, heartsandears.org. HIV TESTING AND COUNSELING. 9 A.M.-7 P.M. Mondays-Thursdays, Chase Brexton Health Services, 1001 Cathedral St., (410) 837-5445, chasebrexton.org, free, but donations are appreciated. J.U.M.P. SUPPORT GROUP. 7-8:30 P.M. Thursdays, the Portal, Baltimore’s African-American GLBT Community Center, 2419 Greenmount Ave., suite 4, (443) 803-6909, theportalbmoreonline.org. NARCOTICS ANONYMOUS. 11:30 A.M. Sundays, Gay and Lesbian Community Center of Baltimore, 241 W. Chase St., (410) 837-5445, glccb.org. SAIM - GLBT YOUTH GROUP. For ages 24 and under. 12:30 P.M. Saturdays, Gay and Lesbian Community Center of Baltimore, 241 W. Chase St., (410) 837-5445, glccb.org, free. WALK-IN SEXUAL HEALTH SERVICES. STD Clinic hours 9 A.M.-4 P.M. Mondays-Fridays. Emergency Contraception and low-cost birth control services 5-7 P.M. Mondays, Wednesdays, and Thursdays, Chase Brexton Health Services, 1001 Cathedral St., (410) 837-2050, chasebrexton.org. WOMEN OF COLOR - SUPPORT GROUP. 7:30 P.M. Thursdays, room 201, Gay and Lesbian Community Center of Baltimore, 241 W. Chase St., (410) 837-5445, glccb.org, free.

STAGE CLOUD 9. A parody and spoof of the Victorian Empire written by Caryl Churchill and directed by Brad J. Ranno. Opens Feb. 13. Through March 8. 8 P.M. Fridays-Saturdays, 2 P.M. Sundays, Audrey Herman Spotlighters Theatre, 817 St. Paul St., (410) 752-1225, spotlighters.org, $18, seniors and students $15. FABUL ATION OR THE RE-EDUCATION OF UNDINE. Written by Lynn Nottage; directed by Jackson Gay. Through March 8. 8 P.M. Wednesdays, Fridays, 7 P.M. Thursdays, 2 and 7 P.M. Saturdays, 2 P.M. Sundays, Centerstage, 700 N. Calvert St., (410) 332-0033, centerstage.org, $10-$60. 14KARAT CABARET. Part of the Laure Drogoul ‘81 retrospective, Follies, Predicaments, and Other Conundrums: The Works of Laure Drogoul. 9-11:30 P.M. Feb. 13, BBOX, Gateway building, MICA, Maryland Institute College of Art, (410) 225-2300, mica.edu, $7. GREASE. The national tour of the famous musical featuring the winners from television’s Grease: You’re the One that I Want. Through Feb. 15. 8 P.M. Wednesdays-Fridays, 2 and 8 P.M. Saturdays, 1 and 6:30 P.M. Sundays, Hippodrome Theatre, 12 N. Eutaw St., (410) 837-7400, france-merrickpac. com, $22-$67. THE HOMECOMING. Written by Harold Pinter. Through Feb. 15. 8 P.M. Fridays-Saturdays, 2 P.M. Sundays, Fells Point Corner Theatre, 251 S. Ann St., (410) 276-7837, fpct.org, $15-$17. I AM MY OWN WIFE. Tony- and Pulitzer Prizewinning drama written by Doug Wright; Bruce R Nelson stars. Through Feb. 22. 7:30 P.M. WednesdaysThursdays, 8 P.M. Fridays, 2 and 8 P.M. Saturdays, 2 and 7 P.M. Sundays, Everyman Theatre, 1727 N. Charles St., (410) 752-2208, everymantheatre.org, $16-$38. JAMES MCBRIDE. David D. Mitchell directs; written by Mark Clayton Southers. Presented by Run of the Mill Theater. Opens Feb. 13. Through Feb. 20. 8 P.M. Fridays-Saturdays, 3 P.M. Sundays, Theatre Project, 45 W. Preston St., (410) 752-8558, theatreproject.org, missiontix.com, $20, seniors and subscribers $15, students $10. citypaper.com

FEBRUARY 11, 2009

city paper | 49


What you missed... LAST THURSDAY AT

WINTER GIVEAWAY

JD’S SMOKEHOUSE

BALTIMORE WEEKLY STAGE

CONTI NUED

MAESTRO SENSATIONAL PRESENTS: SHRUNKEN LOVE. An evening of puppet acts, songs, romance, and more for grown-ups from local artists with house band Walker and Jay. 8:30 P.M. Feb. 14, the Black Cherry Puppet Theater, 1115 Hollins St., (410) 752-7272, blackcherry.org, $5. TASSELS AND CHAMPAGNE: A BURLESQUE VALENTINES. With Baltimore’s Gilded Lily Burlesque; Richmond’s Sweet Tease opens. A Mason/Rhynes and CA Production. 8 P.M. Feb. 14, Creative Alliance at the Patterson, 3134 Eastern Ave., (410) 276-1651, creativealliance.org, $15, $80 Champagne, choco and table for two, $55 Champagne and show for two. THE TEMPEST. Baltimore Shakespeare Festival presents its sixth annual Teen Performance Program. Through Feb. 15. 8 P.M. Thursdays-Saturdays, 5 P.M. Sundays, St. Mary’s Outreach Center, 3900 Roland Ave., (410) 366-3106, $15, students $10. TIL DEATH DO US PART. Riverside Stage presents an audience participation murder mystery. 8 P.M. Feb. 14, Riverside Stage, Salem Lutheran Church, 1530 Battery Ave., (410) 837-0971, salemsouthbaltimore.org, $15. THE VAGINA MONOLOGUES . A showing of Eve Ensler’s play for V-Day featuring a UB cast and music by the Dirty Mothers Band. Proceeds benefit V-Day and the House of Ruth. 8 P.M. Feb. 12-13, UB Student Center’s Performing Arts Theater, University of Baltimore, Maryland and Mount Royal avenues, (410) 837-4200, etix.com, $20, seniors and UB employees, students and alumni $5. WELL. Production of Theatre Hopkins by Lisa Kron. Opens Feb. 14. Through March 1. 8 P.M. Saturdays, 2 P.M. Sundays, Swirnow Theater, Mattin Center, (410) 5164695, jhu.edu/news_info/news, $15, students $5.

(443) 573-1700, artbma.org. African Art Collection at the BMA. Numbering more than 2,000 objects from ancient Egypt to contemporary Zimbabwean art. Ongoing. A Grand Legacy: Five Centuries of European Art. Features the monumental Rinaldo and Armida, one of the world’s finest paintings by Sir Anthony van Dyck, as well as masterpieces by Frans Hals, Rembrandt van Rijn, and Jean Baptiste Siméon Chardin. Ongoing. C. GRIMALDIS GALLERY, 523 N. Charles St., (410) 539-1080, cgrimaldisgallery.com. Neil Meyerhoff: New Photographs, Children. Meyerhoff exhibits photographs of children that he has taken in Bhutan, Ecuador, India, Mexico, Vietnam, New York, and Maryland. Through Feb. 28. Hidenori Ishii: A little Earthshine. New paintings. Through Feb. 28. CHARLES THEATRE, 1711 N. Charles St., (410) 727-3456, thecharles.com. Yo! The Power of Love in 3-D! Works by members of the Charles Theatre Workers Union. Through March 31. THE CONTEMPORARY MUSEUM, 100 W. Centre St., (410) 783-5720, contemporary.org. Dawoud Bey: Class Pictures. Bey photographed young people from all parts of the economic, racial, and ethnic spectrum in both public and private high schools. In cooperation with the Walters Art Museum. Through Feb. 16. CREATIVE ALLIANCE AT THE PATTERSON, 3134 Eastern Ave., (410) 276-1651, creativealliance.org. The Rumors are True: Megan Hildebrandt and Christine Sajecki . Resident artists of the Creative Alliance Christine Sajecki and Megan Hildebrandt paint and perform. Through Feb. 21. Pamela Phatsimo Sunstrum: Soft Animal. In this minature gallery, Sunstrum depicts her alter-ego Asme. Through Feb. 21. To the Teeth. Works by a group of artists made up of Creative Alliance Resident Artists and their colleagues. Through Feb. 21.

CURRENT GALLERY AND ARTIST COOPERATIVE, 30 S. Calvert St., currentspace.com. So Many Organs. A seemingly random yet cohesive collection of drawings, paintings, photographs and mixed media works by Liz Donadio, Dina Kelberman, and Ryan Syrell. Through Feb. 13. ENOCH PRATT FREE LIBRARY, CENTRAL LIBRARY, 400 Cathedral St., (410) 396-5430, prattlibrary.org/ locations. Enoch Pratt’s Living Legacy: Celebrating the Bicentennial of Enoch Pratt’s Birth. The library’s archives of photos, letters, and other memorabilia will be on display. Through Feb. 14. Edgar Allan Poe: More Than a Poet. An exhibition of letters, photographs, and other memorabilia belonging to Poe from the Pratt Library’s archives. Through April 25. EUBIE BLAKE JAZZ INSTITUTE AND CULTURAL CENTER, 847 N. Howard St., (410) 225-3130, eubieblake.org. Mammy’s, Watermelon and Coons. Explores the impact of stereotypes in a multi-racial society. Includes artifacts and print advertisements from the 19th, 20th, and 21st centuries. Through Feb. 28. The Golden Age of Black Broadway: 1890’s to 1930’s. Explores the construction and emancipation of a race in America. Through Feb. 28. EVERGREEN MUSEUM AND LIBRARY, 4545 N. Charles St., (410) 516-0341, museums.jhu.edu/evergreen. It’s a Man’s Word: The Collections of Male Garretts. Student-curated focus show on the male collectors of the philantrhopic Garrett family. Through March 31. Evergreen as Muse. Unique photographic perspectives of Evergreen’s artistic and architectural riches created by 10 undergraduate students at the Johns Hopkins University. Through March 31. GALERIE FRANCOISE II, 3500 Parkdale Ave., suite 22, (443) 632-4785. Drawings by Reuben Kramer. From the Collection of Maryland Institute College of Art. A portion of the proceeds from the sale of the draw-

COMEDY BALTIMORE COMEDY FACTORY, 36 Light St., (410) 547-7798, BaltimoreComedy.com. Mark Simmons. 8 P.M. Feb. 12; 8 and 10 P.M. and midnight Feb. 13; 7, 9, and 11 P.M. Feb. 14; $17. CREATIVE ALLIANCE AT THE PATTERSON, 3134 Eastern Ave., (410) 276-1651, creativealliance.org. BIG’s Worst-Date-Ever Valentine’s Improv with the Baltimore Improv Group and Philadelphia Improv Theater. 8 P.M. Feb. 13; $12, members and students $10. THE MOBTOWN THEATER AT MEADOW MILL, 3600 Clipper Mill Road, (410) 367-3057-1, mobtownplayers. com. Drop 3. 8 P.M. Feb. 14; $10.

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50 | city paper

FEBRUARY 11, 2009

AMERICAN VISIONARY ART MUSEUM, 800 Key Highway, (410) 244-1900, avam.org. The Marriage of Art, Science, and Philosophy. Works by over 100 visionary artists/scientists/inventors and philosophers. Through Sept. 6. ART GALLERY OF FELLS POINT, 1716 Thames St., (410) 327-1272, fellspointgallery.org. Bernard McGibbon exhibits still lifes, landscapes, and portraits in watercolor and oil. Through Feb. 22. ART UNDER GROUND STUDIO, 826 W. 36th St., (410) 800-4230, quirkyspace.com. Friends with Benefits. Second annual Valentine’s Exhibit saluting the better half. Through Feb. 28. BALTIMORE CLAYWORKS, 5707 Smith Ave., (410) 578-1919, baltimoreclayworks.org. An Abundance of Cups. Personal porcelain cups by Deborah Bedwell. Through Feb. 27. Teapots IV. Works by multiple artists jurored by David MacDonald. Through Feb. 27. BALTIMORE HOSTEL, 17 W. Mulberry St., (410) 5768880, baltimorehostel.org. An opening for the art of Jess Garman and David Purcell. 8-11 P.M. Feb. 13. BALTIMORE MUSEUM OF ART, 10 Art Museum Drive,

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city paper | 51


CITY PAPER KID’S CONNECTION

View online catalog at www.peabody.jhu.edu/prep SING M O R E DANCE M O R E PLAY M O R E

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52 | city paper

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To register for the audition please visit our website. www.peridance.com or call 212-505-0886


GREENMOUNT

BALTIMORE WEEKLY ART C O N T I N U E D ings by this distinguished alumnus benefits MICA’s Annual Fund. Through March 2. GALLERY 1448, Artists’ Housing, 1448 E. Baltimore St., (410) 327-1554, 1448.org. Erotica ‘09: Callipygian Desiderata. Works by Christina McCleary and Trudy Babchak. Through Feb. 22. GALLERY IMPERATO, 921 E. Fort Ave., suite 120, (443) 257-4166, galleryimperato.com. Guns and Chandeliers. Guns and Chandeliers- iconic glorified commodities that make powerful statements yet carry very different associations. Through March 14. GEPPI’S ENTERTAINMENT MUSEUM, 301 W. Camden St., (410) 625-7060, geppismuseum.com. Barbie: Fifty Fashionable Years. A half century of dream houses, sports cars, fashions and hairstyles, and how Barbara Millicent Roberts affected pop culture. Through May 31. HOMEWOOD MUSEUM, 3400 N. Charles St., (410) 516-5589, jhu.edu/historichouses. Next to Godliness: Cleanliness in Early Maryland. This student curated focus show explores aspects of clean and dirty in the early 19th century. Through March 29. JEWISH MUSEUM OF MARYLAND, 15 Lloyd St., (410) 732-6400, jewishmuseummd.org. Voices of Lombard Street: A Century of Change in East Baltimore. Exhibit chronicling the East Baltimore neighborhood from 1900 to today. Ongoing. LOYOLA COLLEGE, 4501 N. Charles St., (410) 6175025, loyola.edu. I Remember Mama. Sculptures by Denise Tassin and works about children by Towson University and MICA students. An Art on Purpose Project. Through March 6. MARYLAND INSTITUTE COLLEGE OF ART, DECKER GALLERY, 1303 W. Mount Royal Ave., (410) 2252300, mica.edu. Follies, Predicaments, and Other Conundrums: The Works of Laure Drogoul. The first large-scale retrospective of the local interdisciplinary artist. Through March 15. MARYLAND STATE ARTS COUNCIL, 175 W. Ostend St., (410) 767-6555, msac.org. Hand to Frame/Surface to Lens. Curated by Symmes Gardner; with work by Nino Leselidze, Hadieh Shafie, Karen Yasinsky, and Jeffrey Kent. Through April 30 (reception 5-7 P.M. Feb. 18 with music by Amadou Kouyate). METRO GALLERY, 1700 N. Charles St., themetrogallery.net. The Birdwatcher’s Companion. Showcased works by Katherine Fahey. Headphone recordings of the songs that inspired each painting are available in the gallery. Through Feb. 14. MICA, Maryland Institute College of Art, (410) 2252300, mica.edu. Unbroken Thread: Nature Painting and the American Imagination. Works by MICA faculty member Philip Koch. Through March 15. MINAS GALLERY, 815 W. 36th St., (410) 732-4258, minasgalleryandboutique.com. Memoranda. Ruth Pettus’ ink studies are an extension of her “The Horizon Series.” Through Feb. 28. OVERLOOK CLIPPER MILL MODEL, Overlook Clipper Mill, 3429 Woodberry Ave., (410) 235-0808, clippermill.net/directions.html. Art Created for its Environment. Latest art of photographer artist Lauren Preller. 5-8 P.M. Feb. 12. REGINALD F. LEWIS MUSEUM OF MARYLAND AFRICAN AMERICAN HISTORY AND CULTURE, 830 E. Pratt St., (410) 767-0473, africanamericanculture. org. Courage: The Vision to End Segregation, the Guts to Fight for it. In 2004, the Levine Museum of the New South commemorated the 50th anniversary of the 1954 decision, Brown vs. Board of Education by creating this traveling exhibit. Through March 1. S.C. LORD DESIGN, 3000 Chestnut Ave., suite 341, Mill Center, (410) 961-4597, sclorddesign.com. Rough Gods: Brutal Truth and Beauty. Works by noted photographer and music producer Michael Alago. Through March 14.

SCHOOL 33 ART CENTER, 1427 Light St., (410) 396-4641, school33.org. Works by Maggie Gourlay. Through Feb. 28. SPORTS LEGENDS AT CAMDEN YARDS, 301 W. Camden St., (410) 727-1539. The Greatest Game Ever Played. Exhibit honoring Baltimore’s first football champions, the 1958 Baltimore Colts, and celebrating the 50th anniversary. Through June 30. STEVEN SCOTT GALLERY, 808 S. Ann St., (410) 9029300, stevenscottgallery.com. Regarding Nature. Works by Robert Andriulli, Gary Bukovnik, Deborah English, Jane Freilicher, Carla Golembe, Amy Lamb, Annie Leibovitz, Kathryn O’Grady, Tracie Taylor, and Frank Trefny. Through March 28. THE PARKSIDE FINE FOOD AND SPIRITS, 4709 Harford Road, (410) 444-6004, theparksideonline. com. Landscape paintings by W. David Simmons. Through March 1. THE WINDUP SPACE, 10-12 W. North Ave., (410) 244-8855, thewindupspace.com. Kitchen Sink. An open call exhibition where local and regional artists get to submit anything they would like including painting, sculpture, drawing, photography, collage, and mixed media. Through Feb. 28. THE UNIVERSITY OF BALTIMORE SCHOOL OF LAW ART GALLERY, Law School Lobby. Alyssa Dennis, Structures. Alyssa Dennis’ works in the Main Gallery. Opens Feb. 18 (opening reception 5:30-7 P.M.). Through Feb. 24. Mathew Langley, Simple, Difficult. Mathew Langley’s art in the Dean’s Corridor and the Emmert Hobbs Faculty Lounge. Opens Feb. 18 (opening reception 5:30-7 P.M.). Through Feb. 24. WALTERS ART MUSEUM, 600 N. Charles St., (410) 547-9000, thewalters.org. Art of the Ancient Americas. Exhibition featuring artwork from all of the major civilizations of Mesoamerica, with a focus on small sculpture. Ongoing.Mummified. Learn about the mummification process and see Egyptian artifacts. Through Nov. 8. Portraits Re/Examined: A Dawoud Bey Project. This artist-in-residence project will take place in conjunction with the Contemporary Museum ‘s exhibition Class Pictures, featuring photographs by Dawoud Bey, who for the past several years has created portraits of young people challenging stereotypes about urban youth. Through Feb. 16. Romance of the Rose: Visions of Love in Illuminated Medieval Manuscripts. Dating from the 13th century, the poem was one of the most popular medieval literary texts. Through April 19. The Saint John’s Bible: A Modern Vision Through Medieval Methods. Features 44 pages from two volumes of the manuscript, the Wisdom Book and the Prophets, set alongside approximately 49 renowned manuscripts and rare books from the Walters permanent collection. Opens Feb. 15. Through May 24.

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THURSDAY 12 FEEDING POE’S MUSE: THE SECRET OBSESSIONS OF EDGAR ALLAN POE. Author Michael Largo will show how Poe’s genius was entwined with selfruin. 6-8 P.M., Maryland Historical Society, 201 W. Monument St., (410) 685-3750, mdhs.org, $30, per couple $50. MEET THE AUTHOR. Meet Ta-Nehisi Coates, author of The Beautiful Struggle: A Father, Two Sons, and an Unlikely Road to Manhood. 6:30 P.M., Enoch Pratt Free Library, central library, 400 Cathedral St., (410) 396-5430, prattlibrary.org/locations, free. CLAUDIO SANCHEZ. The lead singer for Coheed and Canbria and comic book author will be at Atomic Books for a toy and comic book release. 2:30-4 P.M., Atomic Books, 3620 Falls Road, (410) 366-1004, atomicbooks.com, free.

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TONY SWEET. The Nikon Pro Nature Photographer presents his new book. 8 P.M., Baltimore Camera Club, 5800 Cottonworth Ave., (410) 337-2939, baltimorecameraclub.org, free.

OPEN HEARTS BALL. Charity event to benefit the homeless at Hearts Place Shelter. Music by BAMA and Sac Au Lait. Open bar, light fare, and DJ. St. Johns Church, 2640 St. Paul St., (804) 241-4016, openheartsball.org, $15, $12 advance.

FRIDAY 13

SUNDAY 15

FLOETIC FRIDAYS. Listen to poetry and music from the Black Diamond band, hosted by the Reginald F. Lewis Museum’s youth volunteers. 7:30-10 P.M., Reginald F. Lewis Museum of Maryland African American History and Culture, 830 E. Pratt St., (410) 767-0473, africanamericanculture.org, $8.

HIP-HOP FOR THE HOMELESS BENEFIT SHOW. Brother MANIAC Music along with Experience Reality Magazine, Kapital Magazine and Across the Fader are co-sponsoring performances from many of the participating artist and some special guests. They are also accepting donations of nonparishable food items, clothing, and blankets. 3-8 P.M., Five Seasons Restaurant, 830 Guilford Ave., (410) 625-9787, the5seasons.com, $10. SPREAD THE LOVE WITH NOBLE LAKE AND MR. MOCASSIN. Third Annual Valentine’s Benefit for Heart’s Place Shelter with a round-robin poetry reading with 13 local poets. 8 P.M.-midnight, Metro Gallery, 1700 N. Charles St., themetrogallery.net, $10 donation.

SATURDAY 14

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CHALLENGING SLAVERY IN THE CHESAPEAKE: BL ACK AND WHITE RESISTANCE TO HUMAN BONDAGE, 1775-1865. Stephen Whitman talks about his book in the Poe Room. 2 P.M., Enoch Pratt Free Library, central library, 400 Cathedral St., (410) 396-5430, prattlibrary.org/locations, free. FRASER SMITH. The Baltimore Sun columnist and senior news editor/analyst at WYPR, discusses his book, Hear Lies Jim Crow: Civil Rights in Maryland. 2-3:30 P.M., Reginald F. Lewis Museum of Maryland African American History and Culture, 830 E. Pratt St., (410) 767-0473, africanamericanculture.org, free with admission.

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SUNDAY 15 THE BABY BOOMER BALANCING ACT. Check out the poetry, prose, and monologues of writers Linda Joy Burke, jaki-terry, and L. Nef’fahtiti Myrick at Minas Gallery. 4 P.M., Minas Gallery, 815 W. 36th St., (410) 732-4258, minasgalleryandboutique.com, $5. MICA COFFEEHOUSE. Showcase for MICA folk’s talents in the BBOX at the Gateway at 1601 Mount Royal Ave. 8 P.M., MICA, Maryland Institute College of Art, (410) 225-2300, mica.edu, free.

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DANIEL MARK EPSTEIN. The author will be discussing and signing copies of his latest book, Lincoln’s Men: The President and his Secretaries. 7 P.M., Barnes & Noble - Johns Hopkins, 3330 St. Paul St., (410) 662-5850, free. FOLLOW THE BUFFALO SHOWCASE. A regular event that will showcase the recent writing of workshop participants in an effort to support the venue. 7 P.M., El Rancho GrandÊ, 3608 Falls Road, (443) 977-8716, myspace.com/itsabigranch, $5 donation. SERIOUS GREAT BOOKS CLUB. Book discussion group. 7:30 P.M., Zen West, 5916 York Road, (410) 4849392, free beer or wine for readers.

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FEBRUARY 11, 2009

citypaper.com

COMMUNITY ACTION WEDNESDAY 11 LIBERAL DRINKING CLUB. The Baltimore Chapter of Drinking Liberally meets on the second and fourth Wednesdays of each month to share some drinks and ideas. 7 P.M., Joe Squared, 133 W. North Ave., (410) 727-8815, joesquared.com. THE TRAIL OF DREAMS WORLD PEACE WALK. The Trail of Dreams World Peace Walkers arrive in Baltimore for a five-day series of events hosted by local organizations, libraries, and schools. The Peace Walk starts at Coppin Sate and walks to the National Great Blacks in Wax Museum. Events include an interfaith ceremony Feb. 11, another route and art exhibit reception Feb. 12, a route stop and film presentation Feb. 13, and a peace forum Saturday. Coppin State University, 2500 W. North Ave., (410) 951-3800, coppin.edu, trailofdreamsworldpeacewalk.com, free.

THURSDAY 12 BLACK HISTORY MONTH AT JHU: NON-PROFIT AND PROFESSIONAL SHOWCASE. Representatives from various organizations and companies will be on-hand to talk about what they do and how students can get involved. 5-7 P.M., Mattin Center, Homewood campus, Johns Hopkins University, 33rd and Charles streets, (410) 516-7683, free.

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ADAM M. SMITH. The international lawyer will be discussing and signing copies of his latest book, After Genocide - Bringing the Devil to Justice. 7 P.M., Barnes and Noble, 601 E. Pratt St., (410) 662-5850, bn.com, free.

BENEFITS FRIDAY 13 THE CHILDREN’S GUILD OF BALTIMORE BOOK FAIR. A percentage of sales from this all-day event goes to the school. Barnes and Noble, 601 E. Pratt St., (410) 385-2086, bn.com, free.

SPECIAL EVENTS LOVE IS IN THE ART. Opening for The Saint John’s Bible: A Modern Vision through Medieval Methods, plus music by the Big Hearts, light fair and cash bar. 6-9 P.M. Feb. 13, Walters Art Museum, 600 N. Charles St., (410) 547-9000, thewalters.org, $35, members $25. 8MINUTEDATING. At each 8minutedating.com event, singles will participate in eight dates lasting eight minutes each. 7 P.M. Feb. 16, Five Seasons Restaurant, 830 Guilford Ave., (443) 934-9790, the5seasons.com, 8MinuteDating.com, $35. ARCHITECTURAL CONFECTIONARIES COMPETITION. Using local sweets and a local


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FEBRUARY 11, 2009

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56 | city paper

BALTIMORE WEEKLY SPECIAL EVENTS

CONTINUED

landmark for inspiration, contestants either build their masterpiece on site or at home and enter into categories: ages 12 and under, ages 13-18, and ages 19 and over. 1 P.M. Feb. 14, Baltimore Museum of Industry, 1415 Key Highway, (410) 727-4808, thebmi.org, $5 to build at home, $8 for on site. BL ACK HISTORY MONTH AT THE LEXINGTON MARKET. With school performances, exhibits, Literacy Week Feb. 9-14, music, and artisans. Through Feb. 28. Lexington Market, 400 W. Lexington St., (410) 685-6169, lexingtonmarket.com, free. FARPOINT CONVENTION. Annual science fiction media convention featuring guests Alan Tudyk (Firefly/ Serenity) and television legend Harve Bennett. Talks, autographs, live performances, gaming, costuming, and more throughout the weekend. 9 A.M.-midnight Feb. 13-14, 9 A.M.-6 P.M. Feb. 15, Crowne Plaza Baltimore North, 2004 Greenspring Drive, Timonium, weekend $75, $70 advance, day rates available at the door. G E O R G E WA S H I N G T O N ’ S B I R T H D AY CELEBRATION. Tour to the Museum and learn more about Washington’s dentures, favorite food, how to put together a healthy meal, and indulge in sweet birthday treats. 1-4 P.M. Feb. 14, National Museum of Dentistry, 31 S. Greene St., (410) 706-0600, dentalmuseum.org, $1. THE MALBECS OF ARGENTINA WINE TASTING. 4:30-7:30 P.M. Feb. 13, 1:30-5:30 P.M. Feb. 14, the Wine Source, 3601 Elm Ave., (410) 467-7777. MAX’S TAPHOUSE 72 HOURS OF BELGIUM. Over 120 Belgian drafts and 175 Belgian bottles, many never before seen in this country, plus a Belgianinspired food menu. 11 A.M.-close Feb. 13-15, Max’s Taphouse, 737 S. Broadway, (410) 675-6297, maxs. com, free entry. A NIGHT OF ROMANCE. Twilight tours that explore the theme of love in art and sip champagne while you make Valentine’s Day cards inspired by your art and romance-filled evening, plus a gallery rendezvous for singles. 7-9 P.M. Feb. 14, Baltimore Museum of Art, 10 Art Museum Drive, (443) 573-1832, artbma.org, $10, couples $20, members $5, member couples $15. RAW ART SALE. A chance to purchase prints, photographs, drawings, paintings, small sculptures, and other raw artwork made by MICA students. Sale located in the BBOX’s Gateway. 10 A.M.-4 P.M. Feb. 15-16, MICA, Maryland Institute College of Art, (410) 225-2300, mica.edu, free. SINGLES ON SAILBOATS HAPPY HOUR. Come meet members and learn about the organization of single adults who share the love of sailing. 4-8 P.M. Thursdays, Nick’s Fish House, 2600 Insulator Drive, (443) 796-6594, nicksfishhouse.com. SPIRIT OF BALTIMORE VALENTINE’S DINNER CRUISES. Relax amidst comfortable climate-controlled decks and enjoy candlelight, buffet, dancing, a vibrant atmosphere, and Inner Harbor views. Board 6:30, cruise 7-10 P.M. Feb. 13-14, board 4:30, cruise 5-8 P.M. Feb. 15, Spirit of Baltimore, 561 Light St., (866) 312-2469, spiritcruises.com, $64.90. A TASTE OF JEWISH MARYLAND. Sample a variety of hors d’oeuvres, nosh on nouvelle cuisine, identify the best kosher caterers and restaurants for your wedding, b’nai mitzvah, and bris. 5-8 P.M. Feb. 15, Bnai Israel Synagogue, 27 Lloyd St., (410) 732-5454, jewishdowntown.org, $15-$25, $3 discount for JMM and BI. WAVERLY FARMERS’ MARKET. 7 A . M .-noon Saturdays, Waverly’s Farmer Market, E. 32nd and Barclay streets, 32ndstreetmarket.org, free. WHOLE FOODS MARKET’S CHOCOLATE FEST. Come sample and buy chocolate treats for Valentine’s Day. 5-7 P.M. Feb. 11, Whole Foods Market, Harbor East, 1001 Fleet St., (410) 528-1640, free. FEBRUARY 11, 2009

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TALKS PLUS WEDNESDAY 11 2ND WEDNESDAYS AT THE VLP. Jeff Larry, Preservation Officer at President Lincoln’s Cottage in Washington, will speak. A reception will precede the presentation. 7-9 P.M., the Village Learning Place, 2521 St. Paul St., (410) 235-2210, free.

THURSDAY 12 “THE PRICE OF THE TICKET: A GENEALOGY AND REVALUATION OF RACE.” Jacqueline Scott, associate professor of philosophy at Loyola University Chicago leads a discussion presented by Center for Africana Studies. 4:30-6 P.M., Shriver Hall, Homewood campus, Johns Hopkins University, Charles and 34th streets, (410) 516-7164, free.

FRIDAY 13 BL ACK HISTORY MONTH AT JHU. A discussion with artist Antonio Ole at the Greenhouse 113. 3-5 P.M., Johns Hopkins University, Homewood campus, jhu.edu, free. NICHIREN BUDDHISM DISCUSSION. Also learn the practice of chanting Nam Myo Ho Renge Kyo. 7-9 P.M., breathe books, 810 W 36th St., (443) 790-3190, breathebooks.com, free. SPANISH CLASS. Offers beginners an opportunity to improve Spanish vocabulary, conversation, and writing skills. 6-7:30 P.M., the Village Learning Place, 2521 St. Paul St., (410) 235-2210, registration fee $10.

SATURDAY 14 BEGINNING CHINESE CLASS. Learn phonetics, simple conversation skills, and Chinese culture. 10:45 A.M.-12:15 P.M., the Village Learning Place, 2521 St. Paul St., (410) 235-2210, registration fee $10. GUITAR LESSONS. Bill’s Music in Catonsville is offering free group guitar lessons every Saturday morning to beginning students of all ages. Please bring your own guitar. 10-11 A.M., Bill’s Music House, 743 Frederick Road, Catonsville, (410) 747-1900, billsmusic.com. “ILLUMINATING THE BIBLE.” Renowned scholar Dr. Christopher de Hamel, the Donnelley Fellow Librarian at Corpus Christi College, University of Cambridge in England presents. 1 P.M., Walters Art Museum, 600 N. Charles St., (410) 547-9000, thewalters.org, $10, members free, students $5.

SUNDAY 15 TIBETAN LANGUAGE CLASSES. Professor Jigme Lodro Rinpoche teaches beginners the Tibetan language. 6-8 P.M., Ja Ling Cultural Center, 508 South Broadway, (443) 629-9072, $10 per session. WJZ-TV BL ACK HISTORY ORATORY CONTEST. Watch Maryland’s top 20 high school orators compete. The event will be judged by Dr. David Terry and Dr. Carla Hayden, executive directors at the Enoch Pratt Free Library. 1-4 P.M., Reginald F. Lewis Museum of Maryland African American History and Culture, 830 E. Pratt St., (410) 767-0473, africanamericanculture.org, free with admission.

MONDAY 16 ESL CLASS REGISTRATION. English as a Second Language courses for speakers of foreign languages. 9 A.M.-noon, Baltimore Reads, 3 S. Frederick St., suite 801, (410) 752-3595, baltimorereads.org, free.


MONDAY:

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FEBRUARY 11, 2009

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58 | city paper

BALTIMORE WEEKLY TALK PLUS

CONTINUED

TUESDAY 17 “THE FORGOTTEN HISTORY OF BLACK YUCATAN.” Matthew Restall, the Edwin Erle Sparks Professor of Colonial Latin American History, Anthropology, and Women’s Studies at Pennsylvania State University, leads a discussion presented by Center for Africana Studies. 6-8 P . M ., Charles Commons Conference Center, 3330 St. Paul St., (443) 287-9960, johns-hopkins.bkstore.com, free.

BUSINESS WEDNESDAY 11 CREATIVE CONNECTS. The monthly networking event for advertising, marketing, creative, web and public relations professionals is hosted by the Boss Group. 5:30-8 P.M., Mex, 26 Market Place, (410) 528-0128, free.

THURSDAY 12 FREE 2009 SELF-HELP BANKRUPTCY CLASSES. Maryland Volunteer Lawyers Service is conducting self-help bankruptcy classes for people with limited income. 9 A.M.-12:30 P.M., Maryland Volunteer Lawyers Service, 1 N. Charles St., (410) 539-6800, $30.

SATURDAY 14 “BUILD YOUR BUSINESS PLAN.” Presented by librarians from the Central Library’s Business, Science, and Technology Department. 10 A.M., Enoch Pratt Free Library, Orleans Street Branch, 1303 Orleans St., (410) 396-0970, prattlibrary.org, free.

SUNDAY 15 GROUP SUPPORT FOR JOB SEEKERS. Stress reduction and support offered through guided meditation and group discussion. 8:30-10:30 A.M., breathe books, 810 W 36th St., (410) 467-0842, breathebooks.com.

WEDNESDAY 18 FIRST TIME HOMEOWNERS WORKSHOP. The Greater Baltimore League helps first time homeowners with how to prepare for homeownership and Baltimore City Incentives. 6-9 P.M., Greater Baltimore Urban League, 512 Orchard St., (410) 523-8150, free. LIFE PLANNING SERIES WORKSHOP. Get tips on choosing a career path after graduation. Register online at ubalt.edu/alumni. 6-8:30 P.M., University of Baltimore, William H. Thumel Sr. Business Center, 11 W. Mount Royal Ave., ubalt.edu, free. MORTGAGE MATTERS WORKSHOP. Learn what do if you’ve missed a mortgage payment or think you might fall behind and find out where to go for free individual advice to improve the odds of avoiding foreclosure. 6-7:30 P.M., Enoch Pratt Free Library, Brooklyn branch, 300 E. Patapsco Ave., (410) 727-0169, prattlibrary.org/locations/brooklyn, free.

SCREENS THURSDAY 12 ADVANCED SCREENWRITING WORKSHOP. Take your full or partial screenplay, and learn how to better analyze your work, increase tension, write more compelling dialog, craft true 3-dimensional characters and apply advanced editing techniques. Workshop over 6 FEBRUARY 11, 2009

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Thursdays. 7-9:30 P.M., Creative Alliance at the Patterson, 3134 Eastern Ave., (410) 276-1651, creativealliance.org, advanced $160, $145 members of CA. POE THROUGH FILM. A free film and discussion series examining adaptations of Poe stories. 6-8 P.M., the Village Learning Place, 2521 St. Paul St., (410) 235-2210, registration fee $10.

SATURDAY 14 IN THE MOOD FOR LOVE (FA YEUNG NIN WA). A film directed by Wong Kar-Wai. 2 P.M., Wheeler Auditorium, Enoch Pratt Free Library, central library, 400 Cathedral St., (410) 396-5430, prattlibrary.org/ locations, free. LOVE ME TONIGHT. Screening followed by discussion. 10 A.M., Wheeler Auditorium, Enoch Pratt Free Library, central library, 400 Cathedral St., (410) 3965430, prattlibrary.org/locations, free.

MONDAY 16 CINEMA MONDAY DOUBLE FEATURE NIGHT. With Blow Up (1966) and Head with the Monkees (1968). 8 P.M., Talking Head, 407 E. Saratoga St., (410) 207-8011, talkingheadclub.com, free.

TUESDAY 17 CONTEMPORARY FRENCH CINEMA SERIES. MICA is partnered up with the Tournees Festival for a showing of Persepolis (2007) in the Falvey Hall. 7:30 P.M., Maryland Institute College of Art, Brown Center, 1301 W. Mount Royal Ave., (410) 223-2300, mica.edu, facecouncil.org/tournees, $5, free for MICA stdents, faculty, and staff and Friends of the Maryland Film Festival. PSYCHOTRONIC DOUBLE FEATURE. With Isle of the Damned and Slumber Party Slaughterhouse. 8 P.M., the Ottobar, 2549 N. Howard St., (410) 662-0069, theottobar.com.

WEDNESDAY 18 CONTEMPORARY FRENCH CINEMA SERIES. MICA is partnered up with the Tournees Festival for a showing of L’avocat de la Terreur (Terror’s Advocate), (2007) in the Falvey Hall. 7:30 P.M., Maryland Institute College of Art, Brown Center, 1301 W. Mount Royal Ave., (410) 223-2300, mica.edu, facecouncil.org/tournees, $5, free for MICA stdents, faculty, and staff and Friends of the Maryland Film Festival.

KIDS WEDNESDAY 11 MUJJE: COME TOGETHER. Take a cultural journey through Uganda as Ssuuna performs traditional music and dances. 1 P.M., Enoch Pratt Free Library, Light Street branch, 1251 Light St., (410) 396-1096, prattlibrary.org/locations/lightstreet, free.3:15 P.M., Enoch Pratt Free Library, Hamilton branch, 5910 Harford Road, (410) 396-6088, prattlibrary.org/locations/hamilton, free.

THURSDAY 12 STORYTELLING WITH FELLISCO KEELING. 3:30 P.M., Enoch Pratt Free Library, Roland Park branch, 5108 Roland Ave., (410) 396-6099, prattlibrary.org/ locations/rolandpark, free. THRIFTY THURSDAY. Enjoy a discount admission of $6 from 1-4:30 P.M. Port Discovery, 35 Market Place, (410) 727-8120, portdiscovery.org.


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60 | city paper

FEBRUARY 11, 2009

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BALTIMORE WEEKLY KI DS

WEDNESDAY 18

CONTINUED

FRIDAY 13 MULTI-CULTURAL TOT SHABBAT. Introducing to children under five and their caregivers the spirit of the Jewish Sabbath through song, candle lighting and traditional snacks. 1:15-1:45 P . M ., Enoch Pratt Free Library, Light Street branch, 1251 Light St., (410) 396-1096, prattlibrary.org/locations/ lightstreet, free.

CIRCLE TIME WITH KARMA DOGS. Enjoy a special visit from the Karma Dogs for dog safety and story time. 11:30 A.M., Port Discovery, 35 Market Place, (410) 727-8120, portdiscovery.org. HER NAME WAS MOLLY. Virginia Keeping portrays the English dairymaid who came as an indentured servant to colonial Maryland. 1 P.M., Enoch Pratt Free Library, Herring Run branch, 3801 Erdman Ave., (410) 396-0996, prattlibrary.org/locations/herringrun, free. 4:30 P.M., Enoch Pratt Free Library, Waverly branch, 400 E. 33rd St., (410) 396-6053, prattlibrary.org/locations/waverly, free.

SATURDAY 14 DROP-IN ART ACTIVITIES: THE LUCK OF THE DRAGON. Celebrate Chinese New Year with dragon sculptures, good luck gifts, and shadow puppets. 10 A.M.-3 P.M., also Sunday, Walters Art Museum, 600 N. Charles St., (410) 547-9000, thewalters.org. WILL YOU BE MY VALENTINE?. The Kindersinger will sing at 1 and 1:30 P.M. in the Oasis, and Bubbles the Clown visits. Port Discovery, 35 Market Place, (410) 727-8120, portdiscovery.org. VALENTINE’S CHILDREN’S STORY TIME. Heartwarming stories and Valentine-making. 10:30 A.M., Barnes & Noble - Johns Hopkins, 3330 St. Paul St., (410) 662-5850, free.

SUNDAY 15 FREE FAMILY SUNDAYS. Features a different activity each week designed just for families. 2 P.M., Baltimore Museum of Art, 10 Art Museum Drive, (443) 573-1700, artbma.org, free. MILKSHAKE’S VALENTINE’S PARTY. Baltimore’s Milkshake celebrates their new DVD with a dance party. Milkshake comic book and a chocolate kiss from Moo the Cow free with admission. 1 P.M., Creative Alliance at the Patterson, 3134 Eastern Ave., (410) 2761651, creativealliance.org, $8.

TUESDAY 17 CHILDREN’S STORY TIME. Featuring old favorites and modern classics. 10:30 A.M., Barnes & Noble - Johns Hopkins, 3330 St. Paul St., (410) 662-5850, free.

HEALTH & FITNESS WEDNESDAY 11 CAREGIVERS SUPPORT GROUP. Meetings held in the main conference room at the Care Center and are sponsored by the Alzheimer’s Association. 6-7:15 P.M., Johns Hopkins Bayview Medical Center, 4940 Eastern Ave., (410) 550-0270, free.

THURSDAY 12 MOTHERS SUPPORT GROUP. For women who are grieving the loss of a spouse or significant other while facing the challenges of being a single mother raising children. 6:30-8 P.M., Gilchrist Center for Hospice Care, 6601 N. Charles St., (443) 849-8251, free with pre-registration.

heart disease and free screenings hosted by MidAtlantic Cardiovascular Foundation. 8 A.M.-4 P.M., St. Agnes Hospital, 900 Caton Ave., (410) 825-3330, stagnes.org, macvfoundation.org, free, registration required.

SUNDAY 15 RELAX, RENEW AND REDUCE STRESS THROUGH T’AI CHI. 1-4 P.M., breathe books, 810 W 36th St., (410) 235-7323, breathebooks.com, $35.

SATURDAY 14 WOMAN TO WOMAN, HEART TO HEART. Seminar about

Using too much

CAFFEINE? If you feel that you are psychologically or physically dependent on caffeine (from coffee, tea, soda, or tablets)… …OR If you have tried unsuccessfully to quit using caffeinated products in the past, researchers at the Johns Hopkins University School of Medicine would like to talk with you. Free assistance to quit or reduce your caffeine consumption may be available. For information, please call 410- 550- 2691 or visit www.caffeinedependence.org. Principal Investigator: Roland Griffiths, PH.D. BPR01-05-04-03

FRIDAY 13

SENIOR FRIENDLY FRIDAYS. With activities like water aerobics, line dancing, performers, art lessons, and more. 11 A.M.-4 P.M., Patterson Park Recreation Center, 2601 E. Baltimore St., (410) 396-9156, pattersonpark. com/Activities/recreationcenter.html.

SATURDAY 14 MONDAY 16 TAI CHI CLASSES. For health and relaxation. 7:45 P.M., St. Johns Church, 2640 St. Paul St., (410) 296-4944. TAI CHI FOR SENIOR CITIZENS. For health and relaxation. 12:30 P.M., Senior Network of North Baltimore, 5828 York Road, (410) 323-7131.

TUESDAY 17 CO-DEPENDENTS ANONYMOUS. A non-religious meeting to provide group support in developing loving, healthy relationships. 8-9:15 P.M., Church of the Redeemer, 5603 Charles St., (410) 262-2223, free. REAL FOOD FOR REAL KIDS. A discussion of Baltimore Schools’ food and nutrition director Tony Geraci’s recent efforts to transform the menus in baltimore City school cafeterias. 6 P.M., Loyola College, 4501 N. Charles St., (410) 617-5025, loyola.edu, free. TRADITIONAL JAPANESE SHOTOKAN KARATE-DO. Near Johns Hopkins Homewood campus in the church hall. 5:30-7 P.M., also Thursdays, St. John’s Episcopal Church, 3009 Greenmount Ave., (410) 560-2838.

FRIDAY 13 HATHA YOGA BASICS. 10-11:30 A.M., Baltimore Yoga Village, 3000 Chestnut Ave. #15, (410) 662-8626, baltimoreyogavillage.com. SOARING CRANE QIGONG. Mindful Visual Movement Mediation. 6:30-7:30 P.M., the Living Well, 2122 St. Paul St., (410) 764-7322.

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SPORTS & RECREATION

COUPLES YOGA. Romance-inspired couples yoga. Price is per couple and includes admission to A Night of Romance. Call or e-mail programs@artbma.org to register. 7 P . M ., Baltimore Museum of Art, 10 Art Museum Drive, (443) 573-1700, artbma. org, $50, members $35. MORNING CANOE ESCAPE. View the downtown skyline and the Hanover Street Bridge. Pre-registration required at least 24 hours in advance; for ages 7 and up. 10 A.M., Middle Branch Park, 3301 Waterview Ave., (410) 396-0440, $5. SATURDAY AFTERNOON HIKES ON THE GWYNNS FALLS TRAIL. Wear sturdy shoes or boots. Preregistration required at least 24 hours in advance; for ages 7 and up. 3 P.M., Gwynns Falls Trail, 4500 N. Franklintown Road, (410) 396-0440, gwynnsfallstrail. org, $1.

SUNDAY 15

VELOCIPEDE SUNDAY SHOP. Shop gives old bikes an extreme build-over when volunteers gather to get these bad boys up, running, and ready for resale at moderate prices. 2-6 P.M., Velocipede Bike Project, 4 W. Lanvale St., velocipedebikeproject.org, monthly membership $33 or three volunteer hours.

WEDNESDAY 18 THURSDAY 12 KICKBALL LEAGUE OF BALTIMORE SIGN-UPS. Coed adult kickball divisions in Federal Hill and Canton now signing up. Spring season starts March 11. 7-10 P.M., Don’t Know Tavern, 1453 Light St., (410) 539-0231,

TWILIGHT CANOE ESCAPE. View the downtown skyline and the Hanover Street Bridge. Pre-registration required. Call at least 24 hours in advance; recommended for ages 7 and up. 6 P.M., Middle Branch Park, 3301 Waterview Ave., (410) 396-0440, $5. ■

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FEBRUARY 11, 2009

city paper | 61


FILM CLIPS

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“GRADE A! A THRILLING STOP-MOTION ANIMATED ADVENTURE!” LISA SCHWARZBAUM, ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY

“AN EXQUISITELY REALIZED 3-D STOP-MOTION ANIMATED FEATURE.” A.O. SCOTT, THE NEW YORK TIMES

“A MAGICAL TALE. A REMARKABLE FEAT OF IMAGINATION.” KENNETH TURAN, LOS ANGELES TIMES

CONFESSIONS OF A SHOPAHOLIC

NOW IN THEATERS CONFESSIONS OF A SHOPAHOLIC The brassy Isla Fisher stars in this comedy from Muriel’s Wedding director P.J. Hogan about a college graduate with a serious spending problem. Not reviewed as of press time. Opens Feb. 13. FRIDAY THE 13TH German director Marcus Nispel (The Texas Chainsaw Massacre remake) once again tackles a cult favorite, this time updating the 1980 slasher classic. Not reviewed as of press time. Opens Feb. 13.

“A clever animated fantasy full of excitement and scary moments, touched with family love.”

FRIDAY THE 13TH THE INTERNATIONAL Reviewed in this issue. Opens Feb. 13.

NOW PLAYING IN THEATRES EVERYWHERE

life for herself, harbors dreams of a being an actress, and settles for a different brand of role playing. Although just as formally irreverent as his Breathless two years earlier, here Godard’s roving camera, idiosyncratic framing, and extemporaneous dialog unsentimentally peels the romantic mirth off Paris to look at relationships between men and women more personally and critically. Intimately dispassionate and unambiguously self-referential (Karina and Godard were married at the time), Vivre anticipates both the volatility of Godard’s late ’60s output and the structural rigor of his ’70s break with his version of mainstream cinema. (Bret McCabe) At the Charles Theatre at noon Feb. 14, at 7 P.M. Feb. 16, and 9 P.M. Feb. 19.

VIVRE SA VIE Jean-Luc Godard’s episodic 1962 examination of a woman almost casually turning to prostitution is one of his earliest formalist breakthroughs and arguably his first true masterpiece. Divided into 12 chapters—each introduced by a dash of Michel Legrand music and a titled card—Vivre sa vie (My Life to Live) follows the Parisian Nana (the porcelain skinned, dark-eyed beauty Anna Karina trying to look plain here, which is patently impossible) as she leaves her husband, tries to establish a

BEDTIME STORIES Disney’s latest live-action feature is a typically wide-eyed, PG-rated family flick about magic and imagination. Bedtime Stories charms with its inventive fantasy premise, as the stories Skeeter (Adam Sandler) tells his niece and nephew begin mysteriously coming true, and it’s to the movie’s credit that it expends no energy trying to explain or justify the fantasy device. At its best, not even cheap CGI or the most contrived speech impediment in child actor history can stall the flick, and Brit comic Russell Brand (Forgetting Sarah Marshall), though also accustomed to working blue, easily outshines Sandler in a small supporting role. (AS) At Beltway Movies 6. BRIDE WARS Liv (Kate Hudson) and Emma (Ann Hathaway), friends since they were children, live and love in New York. When they each get engaged, first, they scream, and, second, they take a meeting with wedding planner queen bitch Marion St. Claire (Candice Bergen.) After dress shopping and buying every wedding magazine published, they discover their June weddings at the Plaza—which they have dreamed about, like, forever—erroneously got booked on the, gasp, same day. Their relationship suffers tension so thick you could cut it with a silver-plated knife wrapped with a colored silk bow and they break up. They fight dirty and mastermind sneak attacks on the other’s special day and take it all seriously so we don’t have to. (WW)

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VIVRE SA VIE FEBRUARY 11, 2009

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CORALINE Wonderfully dark and amazingly tactile, the animated Coraline, based on the Neil Gaiman children’s book, follows the titular little girl (voiced by Dakota Fanning) whose move with her parents into an old, pink Victorian in the forest of Ashland, Ore., spurs an adventure into another realm where she must use her wit and courage to save not just


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FILM CLIPS C O N T I N U E D tering, it is entertaining and, although almost too good looking, not too far away from our own relationship backyard. (WW)

herself, but her parents and even the spirits of children that came before her. It’s not easy to decide at what age kids will delight in the real fabric of the figures, the amazing scenes of coordinated jumping mice, and the yipping snap dragons and not be completely frightened of the scary rats, dolls stuffed with sawdust, and webs of deception. The fact that Coraline is 3D makes it all the more “real.” (WW) THE CURIOUS CASE OF BENJAMIN BUTTON David Why doesn’t this movie click? Is it because director David Fincher excels at decrepitude, and Benjamin Button (Brad Pitt) has the opposite problem? Born a geriatric bundle of wrinkles and abandoned at an oldfolks home, he’s adopted by the home’s resident caretaker (Taraji P. Henson) and reared among his pinochle-playing, afternoon-napping peers. Only he’s not their peer, since as he grows, he gains back the things they’ve lost, such as his hearing and hairline, and he becomes curious about things—especially the bewitching red-haired girl Daisy (Elle Fanning) who comes to visit her grandmother. These early scenes work, but as Daisy and Benjamin’s romance progresses, it dawns on you: This is Forrest Gump all over again. (VG) DEFIANCE The true story of a group of Jews who take refuge in the woods of Poland during World War II, Defiance pretty much comes down to Jews with guns. In 1941, after their families are killed by invading Nazis, the Bielskis—clearheaded Tuvia (Daniel Craig), hotheaded Zus (Liev Schreiber), Asael (Jamie Bell), the one who becomes a man in the woods, and Aron (George MacKay), the little one who doesn’t do much—hole up in a Belarus forest. They soon discover other Jews hiding there. But Defiance isn’t a meditative WWII piece. It’s an action flick with revenge on its mind and an explosion-packed survival story disguised as a triumph of the spirit—although it makes it all look so tidy and easy. (MG) DOUBT In 1964 Sister Aloysius (Meryl Streep) is the nun of everyone’s nightmare. As a paranoid, rulerwielding principal, she’s snooping preemptively into the dark spaces of everyone around her. And the worst thing is that she’s usually right. Father Flynn (Philip Seymour Hoffman) is a walking can of worms, a charismatic priest with many cute middle-school altar boys to distract him. Sister Aloysius is determined to open him up, even though there’s no evidence that he’s actually been doing anything untoward. It’s a rare opportunity to watch two alpha actors duke it out without having to get in bed with one another. So goes the movie itself: an extended, polished, and creepy voyage into the Church’s moment of self-examination. (JB) FROST/NIXON Ron Howard directing a Peter Morgan script should be a home run. Morgan revels in the talky machinations of power brokering and Howard is at his best when dramatizing the behind-the-scenes wonk work of events’ public faces. Morgan adapted his own play for the screen, and this story about the 1977 series of interviews between British television host David Frost (Michael Sheen) and former U.S. President Richard Nixon (Frank Langella) should be the sort of background glimpse that floats right through Howard’s wheelhouse. The problem is that Howard forgets that these interviews are inescapably about the two men at the center of the spectacle. Fortunately, two performances power the movie, which maintains the play’s boxing match pacing. Frost/Nixon tries to build up an artificial tension out of this grafted-on pugilism, but it eventually settles

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FROST/NIXON into a familiar yarn about David slaying Goliath. (BM) At Landmark Harbor East. GRAN TORINO Walt Kowalski (Clint Eastwood) is an implacable Korean War veteran and retired autoworker mourning the recent death of his wife. He doesn’t really understand the modern American society that has, it seems, suddenly sprung up around his neighborhood in the guise of the Hmong families, who represent the new face of his block. When a straight-laced Hmong boy from next door, Thao (Bee Vang), is bullied by his gangbanger cousin into trying to steal Walt’s pristine ’72 Ford Gran Torino, it sets off a chain of events that leads Walt and Thao’s family into the arena of uneasy friendship. What these characters share is an ability to fill the voids left by absent— emotionally or physically—sons and fathers. Whatever else Gran Torino is or isn’t, it’s at least a master class in the irascibility that Eastwood has perfected over his 50-plus years in showbiz. (RB)

GRAN TORINO HARVARD BEATS YALE 29-29 In this documentary about the legendary 1968 Harvard vs. Yale football game, director Kevin Rafferty depicts the Harvard Crimson as hard-scrabble working-class underdogs and the Yale Bulldogs as a bunch of overconfident privileged legacies. Both entered the game undefeated, but Yale was favored. Rafferty mixes footage of the game with talking-head interviews with the players from both teams, and this format feels tired and uninspired. Made for Harvard and Yale alumni. (AD) At the Charles Theatre. HE’S JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU Director Ken Kwapis’ thoughtful take on the 2004 self-help book of the same name stars Drew Barrymore as Mary, an ad rep for Baltimore’s gay paper (get it? Mary?). Yeah, HJNTIY’s love, loss, and conversation takes place in Baltimore’s tony rowhouses, slick lofts, and cobblestones, although you might not recognize it much. The strong and handsome ensemble here never astounds through HJNTIY’s collection of dovetailing stories, and while its plunge into dating and mating isn’t world-shat-

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HOTEL FOR DOGS An abandoned building that’s become home to a group of wayward canines, the “hotel” in director Thor Freudenthal’s feature-length debut is virtually a character in itself. That’s where Andi (Emma Roberts) and Bruce (Jake T. Austin), two young orphans, set up an assortment of contraptions that enable the dogs to entertain themselves in the absence of their surrogate owners. While it might seem like the perfect opportunity to use computer-generated graphics to show the dogs doing an amazing array of tricks, that’s not the case here, as a group of professional dog trainers trained the creatures to strut their stuff without imposing too many human qualities. As a result, the movie’s unabashed charm—as well as the fact that not a single dog dies—distinguishes it from the slew of recent dog flicks. (JN) INKHEART Nine years ago, Mo Folchart (Brendan Fraser) discovered that he could bring literary characters to life simply by reading aloud from books. The price: for anyone he brings into our world, someone from ours has to vanish into the book. That’s how he lost his wife, and he and his daughter, Meggie (Eliza Hope Bennett), have been searching for a way to bring her back ever since, while trying to stay two steps ahead of the villainous Capricorn (Andy Serkis)--the first character Mo summoned. A fascinating premise for a movie, but the execution is dull and lacks any sense of fun. (CH) MADAGASCAR: ESCAPE 2 AFRICA This sequel opens with a Lion King homage, and then quickly picks up where the other Madagascar left off. The four animals— lion Alex (voiced by Ben Stiller), zebra Marty (Chris Rock), giraffe Melman (David Schwimmer), and hippo Gloria (Jada Pinkett Smith)—who were raised in captivity and pampered in a New York zoo are still stranded in the wild and want to go home. With the help of cross-dressing, egomaniacal lemur King Julien (Sacha Baron Cohen), a pair of uppity monkeys, and a bunch of straight-talking, take-charge penguins, the stars board a broken-down plane destined for New York, a trip doomed from the start. You can guess how things turn out. (MG) At Beltway Movies 6. MARLEY & ME The Marley & Me constructed by director David Frankel is conventional to the point of generic, a contemporary Norman Rockwell vision enlivened only by the eponymous dog and the chaos he leaves in his wake. John (Owen Wilson) and wife Jenny (Jennifer Aniston) are so bland, their challenges so commonplace, that they need the anarchy of the Labrador retriever who will not be tamed—or shamed—to shake them out of their comfort zone. But in adapting the best-selling 2005 memoir, screenwriters Scott Frank and Don Roos keep this exuberant dog on a very tight leash. (SD) At Beltway Movies 6.

MARLEY & ME

MILK The first half of director Gus Van Sant’s moving portrait of assassinated activist Harvey Milk (Sean Penn), the first openly gay man elected to public office in the United States, is a fascinating mix of archival footage, historical re-enactment, and bravura acting. It’s a disarmingly effective structure, juxtaposing the lead’s horrible fate against Van Sant’s irrepressibly lively picture of Milk moving from New York to San Francisco in 1970 with his partner (James Franco), opening a camera store, becoming a local activist for both gay and basic human rights, and his first few unsuccessful runs for public office. Once Milk enters public office it becomes a much more conventional movie; throughout, though, it’s anchored by Penn’s remarkably mimetic performance and Emile Hirsch’s even better Cleve Jones. Solid. (BM) MY BLOODY VALENTINE Praise the horror movie gods! My Bloody Valentine 3D makes murder and mayhem fun again, proving not all remakes have to suck. The script is a reasonably engaging “whodunit” that actually spends a little time on character development. Bloody also boasts a solid cast, including genre veteran Tom Atkins in a nice supporting role. It is unapologetically violent and includes a completely gratuitous nude scene, but unlike Saw and other recent so-called torture-porn horror, you won’t feel like you need to take a shower after you leave the theater. Horror fans should eat this one up like a box of chocolates. (RI) NEW IN TOWN Lucy Hill (Renee Zellweger) is on the fast track to a VP seat at her Miami-based corporation, but when she’s sent to New Ulm, Minn., to downsize and eventually shutter a union plant, she begins to question everything she believes about the value of the working man. En route, New in Town shamelessly plays to blue-collar families’ fears of corporate America’s seeming indifference to their survival. The filmmakers blatantly pander to slogans over substance, and as much as the movie argues that corporate America is evil, the solution it offers is that corporations are expected to be socialist, but the working men and women of America are not. (CH) NOTORIOUS Just who is this Notorious B.I.G. biopic for? Director George Tillman Jr. literally puts everything already known about the preternaturally gifted MC Christopher Wallace (Jamal Woolard, who has Biggie’s gentle grace, sense of humor, and goofy way with the ladies down) into a made-for-TV special: growing up a smart kid under the watchful eye of a single mother (Angela Bassett) in Brooklyn, turning to drug dealing early to make that cash, rapping on the side, doing a jail bid, honing his rhyme skills, and meeting up with Sean Combs in early ’90s New York to bring East Coast rap back to the top of the pops. And while Notorious is certainly faithful to how people remember this era, it never offers more insight into the MC than can’t be gleaned from close listenings to the two flawless albums he recorded before he was gunned down March 9, 1997. Pass. (BM) PAUL BLART: MALL COP The titular loser is played by sitcom star Kevin James, and for its first half the picture relies on the delusional security guard’s power trips for laughs. But behind the silly mustache and the Segway he wheels around the shopping center, James is constitutionally incapable of coming across unlikable. So Blart’s inevitable transformation from underdog to hero, as he attempts to foil a robbery of the mall, feels more plausible than it should. And as James throws his rotund frame into action, Mall Cop transitions from mundane patrolling to exploding cop movie clichés almost as entertainingly as Hot


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FILM CLIPS C O N T I N U E D

Fuzz. One of the more tolerable lowbrow laughers in recent memory. (AS)

THE PINK PANTHER 2 A group of international investigators come together to catch a world-renowned treasure thief who has come out of hiding for the first time in decades to steal the Pink Panther, a huge pink diamond. Steve Martin returns to his comedic roots of physical comedy, silly accents, and misunderstandings as Inspector Clouseau, and he’s teamed with some equally inept international detectives: Ponton (Jean Reno), Vicenzo (Andy Garcia), Pepperidge (Alfred Molina), Kenji (Yuki Matsuzaki), and the stunning Aishwarya Rai as Sonia. The movie’s colors are nice, but chasing after the bad guy while tripping up, falling down, flirting with your assistant, and disappointing your country feels a little too close for comfort. Much like the dream team, here’s a group of supposed talents pissing it all away. (WW)

for the miserable adult Michael,but that’s part of the increasingly complex riddle that director Stephen Daldry weaves out of Bernhard Schlink’s best seller.The movie clunks across four decades as a meditation on Germany’s post-war conscience, but Daldry’s self-important direction turns The Reader turns into a smugly intellectual exercise. (CH)

REVOLUTIONARY ROAD REVOLUTIONARY ROAD Screenwriter Justin Haythe and director Sam Mendes are so intent on hammering home the bleak message of Richard Yates’ source novel about an unhappy couple caught in the conformist suburbs that they make the hugely appealing Leonardo DiCaprio and Kate Winslet blank, bland, and blobby. The year is 1955; Frank (DiCaprio) and April (Winslet) Wheeler have been married for seven years, and they live in a white colonial house on a dead-end street called Revolutionary Road (note the heavy-handed symbolism typical of the book and movie.) Frank works, April cares for the home and two children, and they bridle at suburban conformity. But it’s not easy to film a satire of suburban monotony when your movie becomes as tedious as your target. (GH)

PUSH

PUSH Looks great, utterly vacuous: Clairvoyants, telekinetics, and the like walk among us—such as young seer Cassie (Dakota Fanning), mind-controller Kira (Camilla Belle), and, well, object mover Nick (Chris Evans), and they’re hunted by similarly gifted shady government agents in Hong Kong for reasons too labyrinthine and banal to get into here. This pedestrian premise receives a plush visualization thanks to director Paul McGuigan and cinematographer Peter Sova, but there’s only so much this turd of a script can be polished. (BM)

THE READER The Reader begins as a riddle,as an emotionally shut-off German attorney,Michael Berg (Ralph Fiennes), kicks a beautiful woman out of his apartment before the sight of a tram inexplicably takes him back to 1958. As a teenager Michael (David Kross) begins an illicit affair with a conductor named Hanna (Kate Winslet), a dominatrix who forces her young lover to read to her before she lets him touch her.Now,you assume that Hanna is responsible

SEVEN POUNDS What is IRS agent Ben Thomas (Will Smith) doing harassing a blind salesman (Woody Harrelson) in the opening minutes? What interest does Thomas have in the attractive Emily (Rosario Dawson) he tracks to a Los Angeles hospital? What is the plan Thomas asks his longtime friend (Barry Pepper) to stick to? As all these puzzle pieces start to fall into place over the first half of the movie, that other question looms: Why? D i r e c t o r G a b r i e l e M u c c i n o ( T h e P ur s ui t o f Happyness) fills in the big picture in small patches dotted with innocuously obvious clues until a larger whole emerges. And while it’s a somewhat effective device , it’s still manipulative and shallow. Penitence porn. (BM) At Beltway Movies 6. SLUMDOG MILLIONAIRE The Muslim Jamal (Dev Patel) has defied his violent youth and grown into a softspoken, gentle 18-year-old who, in the opening sequence,

has just answered the penultimate question on India’s version of Who Wants to Be a Millionaire? His seemingly triumphant moment is juxtaposed against his torture that night by the local police, who presume an uneducated “slumdog” could not have survived the show without cheating, and they want to know how. Jamal’s response is the movie’s story, as he explains each of his answers and how his tragic life experiences provided him with them. Director Danny Boyle has always opted for protagonists who have placed more value on their life experiences than books and Slumdog is no different, but compared to his earlier works, it just doesn’t measure up. (CH) TAKEN Liam Neeson shoots, beats, maims, stabs, cons, tortures, and otherwise kills a seemingly endless stream of bad guys on his way through Paris’ sex-trafficking underground to save his daughter in this Luc Bessonproduced action thriller directed by Pierre Morel. As an action flick, it’s a decidedly reactionary and rote exercise in the sort of moral superiority in a foreign land more indicative of a previous presidential administration. As saucily overcooked melodrama, though, Taken’s expressing a father’s undying love for his daughter as a homicidal rampage is a real hoot. (BM) TWILIGHT Director Catherine Hardwicke and screenwriter Melissa Rosenberg ruin the perfectly beautiful magic of Stephenie Meyers’ book, and even the most aflutter young nerdlette who swoons into the theater to see Edward Cullen (Robert Pattinson) lustily, but chastely, work his vampire magic on distraught young Bella (Kristen Stewart) will be sorely disappointed in this astonishingly horrible movie. Twilight is so leaden with angsty melodrama that by its midpoint, Bella’s incessant sighing, Edward’s awkward stoicism, and their utter lack of onscreen chemistry has become so ridiculous that you have to laugh. Unfortunately, the midpoint is an hour in. Oh, did I neglect to mention the whole vampire thing? So did the filmmakers. (JF) At Beltway Movies 6.

UNDERWORLD 3: RISE OF THE LYCANS UNDERWORLD: RISE OF THE LYCANS Director Patrick Tatopolous makes this prequel to the previous two Underworld movies seem like some kind of Holocaust drama. Not that a movie about werewolves rising up against their cruel vampire masters can’t or shouldn’t play it straight, but it requires a deft touch that Tatopolous lacks. So when the movie awkwardly becomes an allegory for real-life race relations, it’s hard to know whether to laugh or be appalled as head vampire Viktor (Bill Nighy) calls werewolf Lucian (Michael Sheen) a credit to his race. Series star Kate Beckinsale wisely passed on this nonsense. Instead, we get Rhona Mitra as female vampire (and Viktor’s daughter) Sonja, and she’s every bit as wooden here as she was in last year’s Doomsday. The first two films in the series weren’t great, but at least they offered up some fun and excitement. (RI) WENDY AND LUCY If you’ve seen the poster, you’ve seen the premise: a lost young woman named Wendy (Michelle Williams) is accompanied by her beloved mutt, Lucy, who goes missing after a cash-strapped Wendy misadventure. What follows is much like a flawless short story, anchored by the unnerving spectacle of Williams mutely sucking the air out of a scene and then gasping on what isn’t left. We’ll say little of Wendy’s quest except that she receives the black joke of encouragement that, if she endures long enough,

THE UNBORN In The Unborn, writer/director David S. Goyer delivers something like the Jewish version of The Exorcist. He isn’t above stealing random scenes from just about every other horror movie he can think of either. The basic plot concerns college student Casey Beldon (Odette Yustman), who discovers that a nasty spirit called a dybbuk is trying to take possession of her. For some unexplained reason, this is hard for the demon to do, even though it has no problem possessing other cast members, some of whom have their heads spin around just like Linda Blair. You’ll feel like your head is about to spin around, too, as you try to make sense of this mess. (RI) At Muvico Egyptian 24.

WENDY AND LUCY

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FILM CLIPS C O N T I N U E D she might even get a job doing nothing in double shifts. An essential, even inspiring movie. (IG) At the Charles Theatre.

ented) Marisa Tomei plays world-weary single-mom exotic dancer Cassidy, whose scenes with the Ram coalesce into a picture of an awkward, unsure courtship. Aronofsky’s unvarnished strip-joint scenes and graphically violent wrasslin’action ain’t very pretty,but Rourke finds a way to connect to a man enduring humiliation and mortification of the flesh to remain part of the thing that gives him purpose: performance. (JM) YES MAN Ostensibly an adaptation of Danny Wallace’s memoir of the same name, director Peyton Reed appears only to be interested in the book’s basic premise, that a man says yes to everything for a year—from credit card offers to invitations to people on the street— and spun that idea into a sometimes funny, generally soulless Jim Carrey broad comedy. Spoiler alert: apparently saying yes to everything isn’t the answer. (CH) At Beltway Movies 6. ■

THE WRESTLER THE WRESTLER Director Darren Aronofsky’s bleak, strangely inspiring tale of a lonely man struggling with age and a desperate dedication to the brutal grind of professional wrestling: Mickey Rourke plays Randy “The Ram” Robinson, a hulking, good-natured (outside the ring) jock who has—surprise—alienated his daughter Stephanie ( Evan Rachel Wood), and the pathos of an absentee dad trying to salvage a relationship with a neglected child is compelling. Smokin’ hot (and tal-

—The City Paper Clippers: John Barry, J. Bowers, Michael Byrne, G. Brian Davis, Anna Ditkoff, Serena Donadoni, Edward Ericson Jr., Steve Erickson, Jason Ferguson, R. Darryl Foxworth, Lee Gardner, Violet Glaze, Ian Grey, Evan Guilfoyle, Brooke Hall, Corey Hall, Jess Harvell, Cole Haddon, Eric Allen Hatch, Geoffrey Himes, Robert Ignizio, Martin L. Johnson, Joe MacLeod, Marc Masters, Bret McCabe, Al Shipley, Lauren Svrjcek, Wendy Ward.

DVD MOBILE USERS: For Showtimes, Text Message FRIDAY13 and Your ZIP CODE to 43KIX (43549)

PARADISE LOST: THE COLLECTOR’S EDITION

STARTS FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 13 - check directories for listings

DOCURAMA

THE MOVIES: As of this writing, Damien Echols,

Jason Baldwin, and Jessie Misskelley—aka the West Memphis 3—have been in prison for more than 14 years. According to the state of Arkansas, they mutilated three grade-school boys as part of a Satanic ritual and left their nude corpses in a muddy ditch in 1993. According to the two documentaries the case has spawned, 1996’s Paradise Lost: The Child Murders at Robin Hood Hills and 2000’s Paradise Lost 2: Revelations, they likely had nothing to do with the deaths and were railroaded largely because they stood out in Bible Belt small town West Memphis, Ark., for their long hair, black clothes, and love of Metallica. A recent rerelease of the two docs in a new two-disc set finds the movies still remarkably fresh and compelling and the outrage still close to the surface. Co-directors Joe Berlinger and Bruce Sinofsky (Brother’s Keeper, Metallica: Some Kind of Monster) got their cameras into seemingly every defense attorney meeting, trial session, and jailhouse visit for Paradise Lost, detailing the rampant speciousness of the state’s case while capturing the gradual crumbling of the three teens’ disbelief that they could be sent to prison for the rest of their lives (or death row) for something they say they didn’t do. Berlinger and Sinofsky also luck into Mark Byers, the hulking, jackleg-preacher stepfather of one of the victims, whose melodramatic hatred of the accused and equally intense love of attention develop a sinister undertone as the story unfolds. Paradise Lost had such a huge effect on public perception of the case that Berlinger and Sinofsky were denied the same level of access for follow-up Revelations, but they still manage to assemble a surprisingly engrossing documentary. In place of courtroom scenes, they follow the well-scrubbed Hollywood types and random misfits who flocked to the 3’s cause in the wake of the first movie, and they catch up with Echols, Baldwin, and Misskelley as they adapt to the reality of life in prison and appeal their convictions. Berlinger and Sinofsky also spend more time with Byers, who comes to seem more and more a likely suspect in the murders as he spends more and more time running his mouth for the camera. This sort of true-life crime-and-conviction drama has become a numbing staple of unimaginative, budget-minded television outlets up and down the dial, so it’s nice to see that these inadvertent forerunners of the form still hold up, and that they can still make you disgusted and angry. THE DISCS: Fine as the documentaries are, this budget-priced “Collector’s Edition” offers nothing more for collectors than a cardboard slipcase and nothing at all for fans of the films or supporters of the West Memphis 3—no new featurettes, not even the most rudimentary updates on the appeals process. Talk about a crime. (LEE GARDNER)

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FEBRUARY 11, 2009

city paper | 67


THANKS FOR MAKING US BALTIMORE’S BEST ADULT STORE TWO YEARS IN A ROW!

SHOCK YOUR SWEETHEART WITH SOME KILLER GLASS!

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FEBRUARY 11, 2009

beatnik barber shop

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Mon-Fri 11am-7pm Sat 10am-5pm 410-669-3033

RECENTLY, I CELEBRATED MY FIRST YEAR of marriage to the most amazing man. When we first began dating, he told me that he enjoys open sexuality and wants swinging to be part of any partnership he’s in. I regard myself as free-spirited and agreed to explore this with him. We delayed experimentation because I had a stressful job and I wanted to spend my limited free time with him instead of exploring our sexuality with multiple partners. My work situation changed, and we have since had about a dozen experiences in the past year. I have discovered that these situations are not a turn-on for me—in fact, they are a turnoff. I feel resentful after these episodes, and I don’t feel like having sex for days. We have discussed this at length, and we have been seeing a counselor. Recently, we had a civil discussion wherein we discussed the possibility of him having these sexual experiences without me, since I do not find them compelling. This idea appealed to him. He proposed going to a sex party alone that very night. Ever since then, I have been crushed by the prospect of my husband having a sex life outside of our relationship. Since we met, his sexuality has had an outward trajectory, rather than being relationshipcentered. Having a healthy sexual relationship with him is enough for me. He makes a good point that he has been straight about his desire for this lifestyle since day one, but I am still frustrated and horrified that my husband needs to have sex outside of our marriage. I can’t help but feel hurt that I alone am not enough for him. I’d appreciate your straight, honest feedback on this. S EX B EST O NE O N O NE

Straight, honest feedback: You are an idiot. Your husband informed you in advance about the “outward trajectory” of his sexuality; you knew going in that your husband could never be satisfied in a marriage that didn’t involve “open sexuality” and swinging. Don’t come crying to me now because the man you married wants to actually have sex with other people. You knew that before you married him, SBOOO, because he fucking told you so. You’re unlikely to encounter a marriage counselor who’ll take your husband’s side (nonmonogamy? boo!) over yours (monogamy? yay!), SBOOO, so I’m going to aggressively come to his defense: You’re never going to convince your husband that oneon-one ought to be enough for him. Sorry. You’re also going to have a hard time convincing him that you didn’t deceive him in the run-up to this marriage. When he told you that monogamy was a deal breaker, SBOOO, you replied that you were “free-spirited” and willing to “explore.” But, alas, circumstances beyond your control prevented you from embarking on any explorations until after the wedding, and only then—only after he married you—did you discover that your husband’s sexual interests both frustrated and horrified. How convenient. Because if you’d been a little less stressed at work, SBOOO, maybe you could’ve made time for a little swinging before the wedding. Then you might’ve learned that nonmonogamy wasn’t for you and been able to give this amazing man that information before he married your ass. Oh, but your work schedule didn’t allow for premarital explorations, and now this amazing man has to decide whether to go through the hell of a divorce—knowing full well that he will be seen as the bad guy by all your relatives and friends, and 99.99 percent of marriage counselors—or give in to your emotional, sexual, and financial blackmail. Want more evidence that you weren’t negotiating with your husband in good faith before the wedding, SBOOO? How about this: You aren’t negotiating with him in good faith now. So you recently had “a civil discussion” with him about the possibility of his going to sex parties alone— how many uncivil discussions have you had?—but then you were crushed when he wanted to take you up on this proposed compromise. So once

again he wants to fuck around, once again you agree to his fucking around in principle, once again he proposes fucking around in earnest, and once again you lose your shit—only this time you go boohooing to an advice columnist and not a marriage counselor. Sorry, SBOOO, you picked the wrong columnist. You want and always wanted a monogamous commitment. Free spirit, my ass. Your husband didn’t and doesn’t. Don’t drag this out. You are—surprise!—sexually incompatible. Divorce. Get it over with.

I’m in my 20s and have a loving girlfriend. We have phenomenal sex, but I love anal sex and she doesn’t. We’ve done it many times, but it’s always painful for her and that makes it less enjoyable for me. Now every time I bring it up, she’s against it. O FF T HE P OT Taking less enjoyment in anal sex when it causes your partner pain—you are a gentleman, OTP. But chivalr y requires more of you, I’m afraid: Your girlfriend tried it and doesn’t like it, and you can’t expect her to keep doing it. If you can’t live without the butt, break up with the girlfriend. If you can’t live without the girlfriend, break up with the butt.

I’m a male with submissive tendencies, and my wife decides when I get to orgasm. We have sex regularly, but she only lets me ejaculate occasionally. She finds that I’m more attentive to her now that we’re doing “orgasm denial,” and I get to scratch my submissive itch. Ain’t life grand? Here’s my question: I enjoy pushing the limits, and I’ve gone as long as six weeks without release. (We use a CB-6000 chastity cage on my cock so I won’t succumb in a moment of weakness.) But I’m a little concerned about the effects on my prostate. After several weeks of denial, I leak precome when aroused. I’ve read that recent studies showed that frequent ejaculation reduces the risk of prostate cancer. Am I putting myself at greater risk by ejaculating so infrequently? Can you ask your medical expert? L OVING O RGASMS A ND D ENIAL E VERY D AY Two orgasm-denial questions in two weeks—it’s officially a trend! Can a Good Morning America segment be far behind? “We still have very little idea what might cause or prevent prostate cancer,” says Dr. Barak Gaster, associate professor of medicine at the University of Washington and our resident medical expert. “There are some clues—red meat, probably bad; vegetables, probably good; vitamin E, probably not helpful—but we’re really still in the dark.” And while most studies have shown frequent ejaculation to be good for prostate health, one recent study out of the UK showed the exact opposite. So what should you do? Rely on the best-available study, advises Gaster. “[That study] followed U.S. men for eight years and found that those with the most ejaculations per month (more than 20) had a 30 percent lower risk of prostate cancer compared to those who were having fewer per month (about five).” But there is good news in the study for you, LOADED: “The 5 percent of men who reported having zero to three per month appeared to have a lower risk for prostate cancer as well,” said Gaster. “The caveat is that this group was too small to make definite conclusions about them. But it looks like coming more than 20 times a month could be good for you in terms of prostate cancer, but it’s unlikely that coming very little, like zero to three times per month, is necessarily bad for you compared to coming once or twice a week.” So ejaculate frequently, guys, or ejaculate rarely, because it would appear that moderation in pursuit of prostate health is no virtue. ■ Download the Savage Lovecast (my weekly podcast) every Tuesday at thestranger.com/savage. Got problems? Write mail@savagelove.net.


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4 1 0 . 5 2 2 . 7 4 8 9 • W W W. N E W R I T Z . C O M citypaper.com

FEBRUARY 11, 2009

city paper | 69


DIRT FARM

BY BEN CLAASSEN III

MAAKIES

70 | city paper

THE PAIN—WHEN WILL IT END?

BY TIM KREIDER

BY TONY MILLIONAIRE

FEBRUARY 11, 2009

citypaper.com


ADMINISTRATION

CAREER TRAINING

005

A BARTENDING SCHOOL: A new class starts every Monday Two weeks – day or eve classes Free job placement assistance Train behind a REAL BAR. Low tuition – Rec. Certification BBB member- Free parking

ARIES RESIDENTIAL Is seeking a Program Administrator to oversee a group home. You would be responsible for the overall administration, maintenance of the physical plant; & fiscal accountability. Min requirements; bachelors/masters & certification. Call 410-669-7269 or email resume to ariesresidential@yahoo.com

Call 410-787-0020

Media Makeup Artist Training. Ads, TV, Film, Fashion. One week class. Stable job in weak economy. Details at http://www.MediaMakeupArtists.com 310-364-0665 (AAN CAN)

EMPLOYMENT

010

ACCT EXEC/ MKTING & SALES Mkting firm seeks outgoing, ambitious leader for mgmt in training program. We train in all aspects of business. Meet with clients and conduct presentations. Fortune 500 client. Growth potential. Great Pay, Travel. Fun environment. Call Cara at 410-252-6430 www.dmsbaltimore.com

PT BOOKKEEPER Call 410-752-5155. Leave name and telephone number.

ADMINISTRATIVE

RECEPTIONIST

Maryland Bartending Academy Don’t be fooled calling 800#'s

EARN $75 - $200 AN HOUR.

ADMINISTRATIVE

ADMINISTRATIVE

F/T PERSONAL ASSISTANT Full time position available for an energetic, self-motivated, and honest personal assistant for busy President of local entertainment company. Candidate must have a flexible disposition, be able to multi-task, have ability to prioritize, and possess excellent time management skills. Job will require traveling in and around Baltimore City (corporate office located in Millersville moving to Baltimore in Summer 09). Must have reliable transportation and be able to work flexible hours. Please email resume to bthompson@premier-rides.com or fax to 410-923-3157.

WWW.CITYPAPER. KAANGO.COM

Friendly, fashionable, professional person to coordinate customer service, salon schedules & transactions. Must be comfortable w/ helping people, multiple phone lines, handling money, & using a computer for scheduling & point of sale…sometimes all at once. Minimum of 20 hrs per week possibly Full-time, will pay no less than $10/hr. Please e-mail your resume to: matt@balance-thesalon.com or apply in person at: 409 West Coldspring Lane, 21210

AUTOMOTIVE

AUTO TECHNICIAN Looking for new team member. Should have evolved diagnostic skills, L1 Certified & MD Inspector preferred. Ability to operate a wheel lift & roll back a plus. Excellent pay & benefits. Apply online at www.a1autothreebrotherscarrepair.c om Call 410-566-5878 after application submitted to confirm receipt. $3000 bonus for the right technician

10-49 EMPLOYMENT p.71-74 100-149 BILLBOARD p.75-76 160-199 MARKETPLACE p.82 SERVICES DIRECTORY p.82-84 300-399 WELLNESS p.84 400-499 ART, MUSIC & ENTERTAINMENT p.84 500-599 FOR ADULTS p.85-87 700-799 AUTOMOTIVE p.88-91 800-820 ROOMMATES p.92-93 825-899 FOR RENT p.93-101 900-999 REAL ESTATE p.102-103

EARLY 2009 DEADLINES Sizzlin’ Summer (May 20th) Noon, Friday, May 15th Memorial Day (May 25th) Noon, Friday, May 22th Labor Day (Sept 7th) Noon, Friday, September 4th Best of Baltimore (Sept 23rd) Noon, Friday, September 18th Holiday Guide (Nov 11th) Noon, Friday, November 6th

PLACING YOUR AD OFFICE HOURS: Monday–Friday 8:30a–5:00p

FAX: 410-728-8728 PHONE: Line Ads: 410-523-3100 Display Ads: 410-523-0300 (x246) Real Estate: 410-523-0300 (x248)

Classes Starting Soon!

DEADLINES: Line Ads: Monday 12 noon Display Ads: Friday 5pm Walk-ins: Friday 4pm DISCLAIMER: Claims for errors must be made within 14 days of the date the ad appeared. Liability is limited to in-house credit equal to cost of ad’s first insertion. City Paper reserves the right to revise or reject any advertising.

CLASSIFIED

010)

OF CLASSIFICATIONS

BALTIMORE’S MOST AMAZING CLASSIFIEDS

(005

INDEX ★★★ CLASSIFIED ONLINE AT W W W.CITYPAPER.K A ANGO.COM ★★★ ★★★ 812 Park Ave., Baltimore, MD 21201 • classified@citypaper.com ★★★

EMPLOYMENT

citypaper.com

FEBRUARY

11,

2009

city paper | 71


Unsure about your next move? Think about a career in emergency medical service! OWN YOUR OWN COMPANY!

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Join our talented network of serious owner-operators and enjoy a proven system for success. For more information, call 410.760.6309 or visit us at www.anagomd.com Before you call anyone else, you owe it to yourself to call Anago

HIPPIES IPPIES WITH ITH Tired of having spare change after your paycheck is spent on bills? Hip art and decorating company seeks career-oriented men and women who enjoy money, music and casual dress. No experience necessary. Paid training up to $500 per week. Full Time. For immediate interview, call 410-789-8030

THE THE

FLOW LOW

;Vb^an DlcZY VcY ;Vb^an ;g^ZcYan Are you looking for a job that offers challenging work, great pay and benefits, yet still allows you the flexibility you need to enjoy life at home? As one of Baltimore’s only family-owned grocery stores, Eddie’s of Roland Park understands. If you’ve got a winning personality, good work ethic, and a positive outlook on life, we’re more than happy to customize a work schedule that meets your needs. It’s the reason that some of our employees have been with us for over 40 years.

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72 | city paper

PT, Local deliveries. Retiree's welcome. Call 410-752-3001

!BARTEND! Up to $300 a day. No experience necessary. Training Available. 1-800-965-6520 x 264

BODYGUARDS WANTED Free training. No exp needed. Excellent $$$. Free travel. Call 615-228-1701 www.psubodyguards.com

CARPENTERS Needed for long term project. $15 per hour. Drug free. Must have own trans. Presentation is critical. Call 443-762-2398 DANCERS

DRIVERS

TAXI DRIVERS WANTED New driver incentive programs available. Computerized dispatch. Take car home @ night. Make $100+ per day! HOW SOON DO YOU WANT TO START MAKING $$$? Call 410-662-0300

EDUCATION

DIRECTOR For non-profit Community Center. Must be personable, creative, organized & professional. Must be able to dev. services, programs, events & grants. Exp. preferred. Contact 410-628-1207 EOE GENERAL

DANCERS WNTED $1000-$1500 PER WEEK FT/PT for one of MD's biggest upscale clubs. No Nudity Req. No exp necessary. Very flex hrs. Call 410-265-8224 or apply online at millstreamgirls.com

DRIVERS

$300-800/WK!!! Earn $300-800/wk. Must have own vehicle. Vans earn more. Call 410-625-9654

POST OFFICE NOW HIRING! Avg. pay $20/hr, $57K/yr. Incl. Fed Ben, OT. Placed by adSource, not affiliated w/USPS, who hires. 866-417-9792

LIFEGUARDS

LIFEGUARDS Lifeguards for indoor pools. FT/PT. Downtown Baltimore, Parkville, Timonium. Must be certified. 301-210-4200 x114

Baltimore City Corrections Program seeks applicants for the following positions:

House Supervisor

(several on-call positions) Responsible for monitoring the activities of residents and ensuring compliance with program rules and regulations. Requirements: HS or GED with related work experience in a criminal justice setting. Program located on bus route. Must pass TB and Drug testing, and background check.

EXP TECHNICIAN Est. local Real Estate Company is seeking an Exp Maint. Tech. Skills in Plumbing, electric & HVAC trades. Drivers lic. req. Call 410-358-8889 or Fax resume to 410-578-0076

MUSICALLY INCLINED? If you've had 2 + yrs of piano. Flex hours teaching children piano – Fun Job! We supply students & materials. $22/hr + bonuses. MUST HAVE CAR! 410-654-9131 MYSTERY SHOPPERS

GET PAID TO SHOP! Retail/ Dining establishments need undercover clients to judge quality/ customer service. Earn up to $150 a day. Call 800-601-5516

CITY PAPER SERVICES SPECIAL! Advertise your Service for only $25 per week when you book 4 weeks or more. *Includes headline & 4 lines of text. Call 410-523-3100 PHARMACY TECH

6213 N. Charles St. 410-377.8040

apply online at eddiesofrolandpark.com FEBRUARY

A-1 DRIVE SHAFT

MAINTENANCE

Now accepting applications for Journeyman Meat Cutters, as well as other positions.

5113 Roland Avenue 410.323.3656

AUTO PARTS DRIVER

11, 2009

citypaper.com

Contact: Z. Butler 410-563-9003 or fax to 410-675-1141 EOE M/F

PHARMACY TECHNICIAN Exam Review Class. Techs can earn $15+/hr. Beginning February 2009, state law requires that all pharmacy technicians be certified. Sign up now for our 2-4 wk training class. Contact: amkapharm@comcast.net or fax 410-800-4376


POST OFFICE HIRING NATIONALLY!

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RESTAURANT RESTAURANT

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Avg. pay $20/hr, $57K/yr, incl. Federal Benefits, OT. Optional feebased test prep materials, not affiliated with the US Postal Service. 1-866-616-7019 (AAN CAN)

OUTBACK

CITY CAFE RESTAURANT

In Canton, is looking for SERVERS. One year of experience required. Apply in person Monday Thurs 2 - 4 PM at 2400 Boston St

CATHEDRAL & EAGER ST Mount Vernon's landmark restaurant is now hiring: FT/PT SERVERS Apply in person at 1001 Cathedral St. Mon-Fri, 2-5pm, or visit www.citycafebaltimore.com RESTAURANT

BAKERY-CAFÉ ASSOCIATES Panera Bread, your neighborhood bakery-café in Canton, is currently seeking Cashiers, Sandwich/Salad Makers, Prep Associates, Dishwashers and Dining Room Crew. Qualified candidates will have lots of enthusiastic energy, be articulate, customer-service focused and capable of multi-tasking in a fast-paced environment. Knowledge of meal preparation and presentation is helpful. We have flexible full and part-time positions available for shifts ranging from early mornings and mid-days to evenings and weekends. We offer a competitive hourly wage and a comprehensive benefits package available for all full-time associates. To apply, please stop by our location at 3600 Boston Street in Baltimore. We are located in Brewer's Hill at Conkling across from the 1st Mariner Bldg. Or call 410-522-2940 to speak with the hiring manager. EOE

MAKE YOUR AD STAND OUT! Add your company's logo to your Classified Line ad! Call Nicole at 443-452-1522 for details

SALES REPS

COOK PT/Relief, wkends, holidays, occ wkdays, for 45 person pre-release ctr (N. Caroline St or S. Mount St). Drug bkground chk req. Resume: Dismas House, PO Box 4435 Balto, MD 21223 Fax: 410-233-1622

COMMERCIAL CLEANING CO Seeking Sales Reps in your area. Great Commissions. 1-888-904-7616

Bonsimus, quemo nere terfecondam habeffredet pror acendicii etium susatus et, ne conloctum il untem nonvero viveris? Quost vividet, satusa ina, nostissatum omnequisque diem nos haes sultust iurnihilis consuli cientra volius publica; nos pra, ponium ta nincles, que nunte nont. Catiaequid corum mihil huciacchuitu et; et fue mei public tum mantia? Mulic fui fecuppl. Corae tratuam ut vis? Atis. Lus essigna, prei ses? Num niris cles curia dio, ala con Etracturei strae core te, mantra nox mac viriver icervis. Adducenitam cotiam dees pracci consid int vasteati publin habis essuam. Ibus vivir anditus, senius Mari sent veroptin ius estasdacie te, que aut vastiam oribus fur. Opiorae nihin pro, su simuro, blii R l Bi df b t i

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publici deeside rceris et L. Ficit; neque ina, quius vistrox me conena Senihic ideriamerria inesimus, Ti. Ellescrum eo Castudem serfitia re dius consimus eliistr opoerfi ceporud emuropultus? Nam P. Tus.

SEEKING SUBJECTS FOR PORTRAITS OF THE UNEMPLOYED Local photographer seeks people who've been laid off in this recession to be photographed and interviewed. The collection of portraits and stories will be displayed online as an ongoing series. If interested, email unemployedportrait@gmail.com Accummy nullaor in ex eu facil ut la feuisit wis dolore deliquam, vent adit nit iuscili

C. Oponfit ve, patus consulius Nam me tero efacchu itrors conficaperem et publis egil hactoru rsultum me publice nscruri serendi enteatuam auturordis rei ponit posse nonfecem fuis? Do, ficum teludemnem et il caequi pernum denium mus signox mant? Quid in denat, nos, omnit oc, quem niusqua tam tatientrium dem, C. Habis M. Simorte rficive retres cam Patilinclut et, quam popubli cupicii publis Mulemque cules merum atimil ver ublicit, nonsime rfention dienatu quiusse perfiri, stemurbis. Icae fuemus, orum ut L. Econsup plicae que conem nocrionos acta perur, quod se ac ocum, nos i i tili i l L V li i fi i t f

MAC PERSONAL TRAINER! A WINNING CAREER! Maryland Athletic Club, a growing fitness and wellness company, seeks a full-time experienced Personal Trainer for its high-end, award-winning facility in Timonium and Harbor East. MAC Trainers enjoy a high income potential and many fabulous benefits! Must have a national certification, have BS degree in related field, minimum 1 year professional training experience, and a passion for helping others.

See why the MAC clubs are such a great place to work! Visit www.macwellness.com & click “career opportunities”.

Fax Resume to: 410-453-9867

Readers / Evaluators Needed For scoring of essays and standardized tests. Bachelors Degree required. Available Day Hours 8:15am-4pm Project to begin late April.

Contact: Measurement Inc.

410-788-8629 Ask about our available non-degree positions. All scoring will be done at the Catonsville Scoring Center.

T GI‘ER DONE

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TO ADVANCE AT

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Advertise your Service for just $25 per week when you book 4 weeks or more. *Includes headline & 4 lines of text. Call 410-523-3100 to place your ad today!

CLASSIFIED LINE DEADLINE: EVERY MONDAY AT NOON. CALL 410-523-3100 TO PLACE YOUR AD TODAY!

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RESIDUAL SALES INCOME Work from Home, F/T, P/T, Contacting Law Firms in Maryland. Email resume to: Sales@legalpapers.net or fax 410-823-1649 www.legalpapers.net

SALES

SALES PROFESSIONALS Needed to promote financial products / credit cards for Major Airlines in the Baltimore Washington International Airport. Great way to earn a supplemental income with a flexible schedule. Fantastic pay/commission scale! Call to find out more immediately!!! Call 1-888-691-1810 or email jobs@klmgroup.com

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HAIR 2000 Talented Stylist to join our team. Exp. in coloring & highlights. Grt'd Salary & Bene. Call 410-207-8336

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WWW.CITYPAPER. KAANGO.COM REQUEST FOR PROPOSAL PROFESSIONAL SERVICES TO DESIGN & IMPLEMENT A DOCUMENT IMAGING & WORKFLOW MANAGEMENT SYSTEM FOR THE CITY OF BALTIMORE EMPLOYEES’ RETIREMENT SYSTEM (ERS) The ERS is seeking the services of a systems integrator (vendor) to implement a complete solution for solving the agency’s document imaging and work flow management needs. The intent of this RFP is to select one firm to provide the services. To immediately receive the RFP packet, you must email, fax or mail your request to: Donna S. Bowen, Special Assistant Employees’ Retirement System 7 East Redwood Street, 12th floor Baltimore, Maryland 21202 Phone: 443-984-3180 Fax: 410-528-1474 Email: donna.bowen@bcers.org DUE DATE FOR SUBMITTING RESPONSES TO THE RFP IS TUESDAY, MARCH 31, 2009 @ 3:00 P.M., EDT. The ERS reserves the right to reject any or all proposals or any items, to cancel the RFP, and to waive any imperfections in a proposal if doing so is in the best interest of the agency. All proposals shall become the property of the ERS.

IMPORTANT COMICS

DINA KELBERMAN

FREE WILL ASTROLOGY

ARIES (MARCH 21-APRIL 19) I invite you to get all the mind-blowing sex you can this Valentine season. The entire cosmos will be on your side if you generate erotic wonders that rearrange your thought processes. For best results, cultivate the attitude described by the philosopher Voltaire in a letter to his partner Marie Louise Denis: “Sensual pleasure passes and vanishes . . . but the friendship between us, the mutual confidence, the delights of the heart, the enchantment of the soul, these things do not perish and can never be destroyed.”

8?BB8E7H:

'&&#'*/

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TAURUS (APRIL 20-MAY 20) Gertrude Stein defined love as “the skillful audacity required to share an inner life.”

100

COMPASSIONATE & Committed care for your elderly parent. I will come to your home 6 days a week Sun – Fri Hourly rate. State board certified, excellent references, Own transportation & CPR Certified. 443-760-1185

LEGAL/PUBLIC NOTICES

BY R O B B R E Z N Y

110

That’s the perfect seed idea for you to meditate on this Valentine season. It suggests that expressing the truth about who you are is not something that amateurs do very well: Practice and ingenuity are required. It also implies that courage is an essential element of successful intimacy. You’ve got to be adventurous if you want to weave your life together with another’s.

GEMINI (MAY 21-JUNE 20) A mischievous voice in my head rose up as I was contemplating your astrological omens. It said I should tell you to make love in a bed covered with $10 bills. I asked the voice if this was a cracked metaphor for a more practical piece of advice. The voice just cackled. So I’ll have to surmise what it was driving at. First, it could mean that you should make a business proposition to your lover or spouse, or somehow collaborate with each other to increase your prosperity. Second, maybe you should spend money on enhancing romance, either by taking a workshop to upgrade your intimacy skills or getting creative about fostering togetherness. Another possibility is that you should add imaginative and humorous touches to your love-making, like by doing it in a bed full of money.

CANCER (JUNE 21-JULY 22) Over the course of your lifetime, if you’re average, you will spend about 336 hours

ADVERTISE YOUR BUSINESS In 111 alternative newspapers like this one. Over 6 million circulation every week for $1200. No adult ads. Call Rick at 202-289-8484 (AAN CAN)

LEGAL NOTICE Extra Space Storage facility operator's sale for the non-payment of storage charges, pursuant to the power of sale contained under Maryland Self Storage Facility Act Senate Bill 122; The following property will be sold at PUBLIC AUCTION on February 20, 2009 At 10:00 AM On the premises of: EXTRA SPACE STORAGE 1400 EASTERN AVENUE BALTIMORE, MD 21231 Extra Space Storage reserves the right to cancel at any time for any reason. Cash sale only. UNIT #1033 – MICHAEL KEIRLE UNIT #2034–KENNETH MCGRAIN UNIT #2035 – TYLER HAWES UNIT #2205 – ANDRE BROWN UNIT #2215 – ANGELA SAMUELS UNIT #3005 – MICHELLE HARVEY-PERKINS UNIT #3023 – MARY DIORIO UNIT #3151 – DEDRA SEARCY UNIT #4091 – RENE MONTENEGRO, JR. UNIT #4123 – DERRICK JACKSON "We got an overwhelming response! In 2 days, we hired the employee we were looking for!" Renaissance Fine Arts Gallery

LEGAL NOTICE Extra Space Storage facility operators sale for non-payment of storage charges pursuant to the power of sale contained under Maryland Self Storage Facility Act Senate Bill 122: The following property will be sold at public sale on February 20, 2009 at 11:45am at Extra Space Storage, 203 E. Joppa Rd., Towson, MD 21286 LAWRENCE SIRBAUGH – UNIT #2106 Extra Space Storage reserves the right to cancel a sale at any time for any reason. AUCTIONEER: Philip T. Cline, Marc D. Hutchinson TERMS OF SALE: CASH

kissing. But why be average? Especially now, when the cosmos is begging you to use your mouth to incite ingenious bliss and explore the frontiers of closeness? To be in maximum alignment with the great cycles of nature and make God happy, I suggest you experiment with Guinness Book of World Records-levels of smooching and licking and sucking. If you can’t find a human partner to collaborate with, then kiss the sky, the trees, the rivers, and even the mist. P.S. For extra credit, use your mouth to murmur lyrical praises and whisper poetic temptations.

LEO (JULY 23-AUG. 22) It’s a perfect time to cast a love spell on yourself. You don’t necessarily need to consult

any pagan books about how to proceed. It may even be better if you improvise your own homemade conjurations and incantations. I can think of two main goals for you to accomplish with your spell. (But feel free to add others.) First, rouse your imagination into visualizing romantic possibilities you’ve been closed to before. Second, make sure you banish the curse that you yourself cast on your love life once upon a time. P.S. For best results, stand naked in front of an altar crammed with magical objects that symbolize both lust and compassion. VIRGO (AUG. 23-SEPT. 22) “The person one loves never really exists,” said Arthur C. Clarke, “but is a projection

focused through the lens of the mind onto whatever screen it fits with least distortion.” Your assignment is to prove Clarke at least partially wrong. See if you can figure out a way to dissolve or elude your own projections long enough so that you can see the raw truth about a certain person you crave or adore or care about. Not a reflection of the dream lover who hides in your heart. Not a fantasy you wish your beloved would become. But the perfectly imperfect soul who is actually there in front of you. LIBRA (SEPT. 23-OCT. 22) The Madonna of Orgasm Church is a Swedish institution. Its leader claims that the sect

is not obsessed with sex, nor are orgies included in the regular worship services. Rather, deifying the orgasm is a symbol for cultivating a lust for life. Making love is just one of many ways to experience peak states and explore the spiritual potencies of pleasure. You don’t have to be a member of the church to experiment with this approach. I hope you’ll have fun with it during this Valentine season, which happens to be a time in your astrological cycle when seeking intense bliss and cathartic release is your sacred mandate.

SCORPIO (OCT. 23-NOV. 21) In creating this oracle, I’ve borrowed words from the artist and poet Wolff Bowden.

Please steal them from me and use them in cryptic, affectionate communiqués that will deepen your connection with someone who makes your heart sing. Here’s the first batch: “You belong to love . . . as corn belongs to crows, . . . as wheels belong to roads, as shadows belong to the ache of heat, as oar belong to wake, and as happiness belongs to the capricious pangs of the soul.” Here’s the second: “May the color blue behold your body while sun washes your shoulders near the window.” “May your lips refuse the kiss unless your heart is home. May euphoria find you in the place where you are lonely.” “May you light a billion candles with your mind.”

SAGITTARIUS (NOV. 22-DEC. 21) “Greet one another with a holy kiss,” says the Bible’s first book of Corinthians. I

think that’s great advice for you. What I take it to mean is that when you come together with someone you care about, bestow a kiss that’s more than merely affectionate or polite. Use it to invoke a sense of sacred space, surrounding the two of you with a mood of deep gratitude for the privilege of being alive. Even further, make your holy kiss be a prayer for the well-being of your ally, an affirmation of your desire that he or she will thrive and prosper and become the gorgeous genius he or she was born to be.

CAPRICORN (DEC. 22-JAN. 19) Would you like to stir up deeper and smarter intimacy? Are you interested in

attracting good surprises that would air out your romantic dogmas? Do you think it might be fun to discover a new love secret? To encourage these happy developments, carry out the following assignments. First, practice loving something or someone you don’t understand. Second, any time you start longing to be loved more than you are, make it a point to go out and love someone more than you have in the past. Third, visualize your heart growing softer and warmer and more receptive.

AQUARIUS (JAN. 20-FEB. 18) “When we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours,” wrote author

Robert Fulghum, “we join up with them and fall into mutually satisfying weirdness—and call it love.” I mention this because the Valentine season will offer you ample opportunity to bask in the wonders of mutually compatible weirdness. It could come in the form of friendship or romance or some other collaboration, but one way or another it will help you feel less alone in the world, suggesting that maybe you’re not an extraterrestrial time-traveler from the 29th-century after all.

PISCES (FEB. 19-MARCH 20) We’re faced with an economic downturn as well as the need to take strenuous

measures to heal the environment. Does that mean we have to dial down our pursuit of happiness? Are we obligated to have less fun and deny ourselves pleasure? I say no, as do the editors at TreeHugger.com. One of their articles, for example, gives extensive advice on how to have great sex in small, fuel-efficient, low-emissions cars. With this as your inspiration, Pisces, identify five other ways to enjoy yourself without having to spend a fortune or hurt the earth. It’s an excellent time, astrologically speaking, to experiment with the hypothesis that cutting down on consumerism can help you discover new approaches to feeling really good. (For other ideas, check out tinyurl.com/6ofzvt.) ■ HOMEWORK: PROPOSED EXPERIMENT: CARRY OUT AN ACT OF LOVE THAT’S UNIQUE IN YOUR HISTORY. TESTIFY AT FREEWILLASTROLOGY.COM.

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H;I;7H9> M;BBD;II <H;; H;I;7H9> JH;7JC;DJ <EH 9E97?D; 7D: EF?7J; 78KI; Healthy men and women who are between ages of 18-55 are needed to participate in an outpatient research study at the Johns Hopkins Bayview Medical Center. The study will last up to 31 weeks and will provide standard methadone maintenance treatment.

Total possible earnings are $1155.00 Principal Investigator: Annie Umbricht, MD. RPN # NA0003333 Approved May 07, 2007

Call (410) 550-1102 and refer to study 0606

ADDICTED?

GET BACK TO LIFE!

Give The Sweetest Gift of All!

REC OVE RY

GLASS SUBSTANCE ABUSE PROGRAMS, Inc.

76 | city paper

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Available treatment within 24 to 48 hours. Open 7 days a week.

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Free Confidential Assessments

410.CALL.GLASS 410.225.5452 A?2.A:2;A D6A5 ?2@=20A ?2@B9A@ FEBRUARY

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- ZWo%:[jen (,& Center for Addiction Medicine Dr. Michael Hayes .&, B_dZ[d 7l[dk[" 8Wbj_ceh[" C: ('(&' 410.225.8240 mmm$YWcjh[Wjc[dj$Yec JCAHO Accredited


H;I;7H9> M;BBD;II 7H; OEK 7 >;7BJ>O 7:KBJ 8;JM;;D '. 7D: (/ O;7HI E< 7=;5 We are looking for people who have either one full day or two half days of free time to participate in a research study on substance abuse. Sponsored by the National Institutes of Health Includes filling out questionnaires and doing various tasks in the computer You will be paid for participation.

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-Dr. Alberto Yataco International Research Center To place your ad for clinical trials, employment or health care opportunities, call Leslie at 443-452-1534.

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DIABETIC ULCER?

The ad in City Paper has been amazing! We get 40 to 60 people calling per edition. Close to 40% of them go through the study. We actually have a waiting list of people who want to get into the center!

ECSTASY USERS

NEEDED Volunteers aged 18-30 are needed to participate in the studies on the effects of drug use at the Johns Hopkins Bayview Medical Center. Currently participants are needed for 5-day inpatient studies and 2 day outpatient studies. Study participants will receive financial compensation. Travel expenses will be covered. For more information call: 410.550.5295 or 410.550.2588 Collect calls accepted.

IRB#: 04-02-09-05

MARIJUANA

USERS NEEDED Marijuana users age 18-55 are needed to take part in a research study at Johns Hopkins. This is NOT a treatment study The study will last for 18 days and will involve staying at the Johns Hopkins Bayview Medical Center for 11 days. You will be compensated for your time and cooperation. U

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Principal Investigator: Ryan Vandrey, Ph.D. Study Number: NA_00017909 Call (410) 550-0007 for details citypaper.com

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H;I;7H9> M;BBD;II Can you answer yes to all three questions?

THE NATIONAL INSTITUTES OF HEALTH (NIH) SPONSORS STUDY TO DETERMINE IF HERBAL TREATMENTS PROMOTE PROSTATE HEALTH

1. Are you HIV Positive? 2. Planning to start or change HIV medications? 3. Are you having memory or concentration problems? UĂŠ Â˜ÂˆĂŒÂˆ>Â?ĂŠĂƒVĂ€ii˜ˆ˜}ĂŠÂˆÂ˜VÂ?Ă•`iĂƒĂŠ>ĂŠĂƒÂ…ÂœĂ€ĂŒĂŠ>ĂƒĂƒiĂƒĂƒÂ“iÂ˜ĂŒĂŠÂœvĂŠĂžÂœĂ•Ă€ĂŠÂ“iÂ“ÂœĂ€ĂžĂŠ >˜`ĂŠVœ˜ViÂ˜ĂŒĂ€>ĂŒÂˆÂœÂ˜ĂŠ>ĂƒĂŠĂœiÂ?Â?ĂŠ>ĂƒĂŠLÂ?œœ`ĂŠ`Ă€>Ăœ°ĂŠ UĂŠ-Â…ÂœĂ•Â?`ĂŠĂŒÂ…iĂƒiĂŠĂƒVĂ€ii˜ˆ˜}ĂŠĂŒiĂƒĂŒĂƒĂŠÂˆÂ˜`ˆV>ĂŒiĂŠ>ĂŠÂ?ˆŽiÂ?ÞÊiÂ?ˆ}ˆLˆÂ?ÂˆĂŒĂž]ĂŠĂŒÂ…iÂ˜ĂŠ vĂ•Ă€ĂŒÂ…iĂ€ĂŠĂŒiĂƒĂŒĂƒĂŠ>˜`ĂŠĂƒĂŒĂ•`ˆiĂƒĂŠÂ“>ÞÊLiĂŠÂœvviĂ€i`ĂŠĂŒÂœĂŠĂžÂœĂ•

Researchers at the Department of Neurology at Johns Hopkins are trying to learn more about the effects of HAART in the brain. Eligible participants will be compensated NA_00006493 Principal Investigator: Ned Sacktor, MD CONFIDENTIALITY: All information obtained during the course of this study is kept strictly conďŹ dential

CONTACT VINCE 443-799-7257

Do you get depressed during the fall and winter months? Do you have problems with low energy and increased appetite during this time of year? If so, you may be experiencing seasonal depression. Investigators at University of Maryland are conducting a 6 week study of a non-medication light therapy for individuals with seasonal depression who are not currently being treated with antidepressants. Participants will receive a free evaluation of seasonal mood problems, and will be compensated for their time.

Please call 410-706-2324

Do it for a good cause! Algorithme Pharma is currently seeking men and women, nonsmokers and light-smokers, ages 18 and older, to participate in a research study of known medications. You could receive from $700 to $4,000* in compensation as well as study-related medical evaluation at no cost. * Compensation based on the completed study, length of stay and number of return visits. Several studies are available.

t t www.sciencepays.com 78 | city paper

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CAMUS

COMPLEMENTARY AND ALTERNATIVE MEDICINE FOR UROLOGIC SYMPTOMS (CAMUS)

Brain/HAART Connection

The CAMUS trial is studying the outcomes of dierent natural treatments for enlarged prostates also called benign prostatic hyperplasia or BPH. BPH is a common problem for older men. With BPH, the prostate grows larger. Over time, this growth can cause bothersome urinary symptoms. These symptoms can include frequent and/or urgent urination during the day or at night. Men with BPH can also have a weak urine stream, a stream that stops and starts, a feeling of not emptying the bladder all the way, and/or a need to strain to get urination started. BPH is NOT the same as prostate cancer. A number of natural products (extracts of dierent plants) seem to be able to reduce the bothersome symptoms of BPH with very few side eects over a few months. One of the plant extracts comes from the dwarf palm tree (Saw palmetto). We do not know whether these plant extracts will reduce the symptoms of BPH over a longer period of treatment. The CAMUS trial will test Saw palmetto in about 350 men. Men who decide to be part of the CAMUS trial will be given one out of two possible treatments at random. One out of every two men would get an inactive placebo treatment. One out of every two men would get Saw palmetto pills. This kind of scientiďŹ c study is the best way to ďŹ nd out if the plant extracts really work to prevent men with BPH from getting worse. During the study, men will not know which of the two treatments they are assigned to. They would be followed very closely by a study team every 12 weeks to see how they are doing. Men in the CAMUS trial would be studied over 72 weeks. Tests and all medications needed as part of the study will be provided at no cost to them. All information on study participants will be held in the strictest conďŹ dence and no one would have access to patient information other than the required authorized health care and research personnel.

If you are interested in learning more about the CAMUS trial, call

The Maryland Prostate Center at

410-328-7742

The ad in City Paper has been amazing! We get 40 to 60 people calling per edition. Close to 40% of them go through the study. We actually have a waiting list of people who want to get into the center! -Dr. Alberto Yataco International Research Center To place your ad for clinical trials, employment or health care opportunities, call Leslie at 443-452-1534.


H;I;7H9> M;BBD;II RESEARCH STUDIES AVAILABLE

RESEARCH STUDIES AVAILABLE DO YOU

If you are 18 to 55 years old and

COCAINE

USERS

USE HEROIN?

use cocaine sometimes or every

NEEDED

day, we need you for inpatient or outpatient research studies. All participants will be paid for time

and travel. There is no cost for participation or study-related tests. Call for a confidential screening.

CALL

TODAY

CALLY 1-866-START NOW

1-800-535-8254

T O DA

www.researchstudies.drugabuse.gov

RESEARCH STUDIES AVAILABLE

USERS

If you are 18 NEEDED to 45 years old and use marijuana sometimes or every day, we need you for inpatient and outpatient research studies. Call for a confidential screening. All participants will be paid for time and travel. TOLL FREE

CALLY 1-800-535-8254 T O DA

Call for a confidential screening. You will be paid for time and travel for your screening visit. Medication and counseling provided as part of the study. TOLL FREE

TOLL FREE

MARIJUANA

If you are 18 to 65 years old and struggling with heroin addiction, you could be eligible for a free 9-month outpatient methadone or buprenorphine maintenance research program.

(1-866-782-7866)

www.researchstudies.drugabuse.gov

RESEARCH STUDIES AVAILABLE

do you SMOKE

If you smoke, you could be eligible for an outpatient research study to help understand how smoking affects the body and brain.

CIGARETTES?

Call for a confidential screening. All participants will be paid for time and travel.

CALLY T O DA

TOLL FREE

1-800-535-8254 www.researchstudies.drugabuse.gov

www.researchstudies.drugabuse.gov

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H;I;7H9> M;BBD;II HELP INFERTILE COUPLES

EGG DONORS NEEDED

) LIVE IN "ALTIMORE BUT ) AM HELPING TO SAVE LIVES IN !SIA

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@em\jk`^Xk`feXc :fekiXZ\gk`m\ ;`Xg_iX^d Research Study Volunteers Needed Participate in a study at Johns Hopkins Center for Immunization Research and help develop vaccines for Dengue Fever, West Nile viruses, Avian Flu, and Traveler’s Diarrhea. Without ever leaving Baltimore, you can help save lives. These diseases threaten the health of children and adults in many parts of the world. If you are 18 to 50 years old, you could help develop new vaccines. The Center offers both inpatient and outpatient studies. You will be paid for your time.

80 | city paper

YOU HAVE THE POWER TO HELP HEAL THE WORLD.

Call 410-955-SAVE

Be a life saver.

Earn up to $2,250 for outpatient studies, depending on the number of study visits or up to $3,700 for inpatient studies.

(7283) today.

TM

Principal Investigator: Karen Charron, MPH Approved by CHR on May 14, 2008 CHR# H.22.04.02.19.A2 - (Ad# 101)

FEBRUARY

11, 2009

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citypaper.com

FEBRUARY

11,

2009

city paper | 81


LEGAL NOTICE Extra Space Storage, formerly known as Storage USA facility operator's sale for the non-payment of storage charges, pursuant to the power of sale contained under Maryland Self-Storage Senate bill 122, 18-0501 et. Seq. Commercial Law Article, Code of Maryland, general charges and for the satisfaction of the facilities operators, lien the following property will be sold at PUBLIC AUCTION. Philip T. Cline, Autioneer February 19, 2009 At 1:45 PM On the premises of: EXTRA SPACE STORAGE 6821 EASTERN AVENUE BALTIMORE, MD 21224 Extra Space Storage reserves the right to cancel at any time for any reason. Cash sale only. John R. Orem – Unit #1039 Wanda L. Lowery – Unit #1085 Kimberly Sierra – Unit #1207 Nathan Ervin – Unit #126 Edie H. Schuman – Unit #2033 Tiffany N. Jones – Unit #2064 David J. Perry – Unit #2127 Barney E. Lee, Jr. – Unit #2136 Angela M. Williams – Unit #6012 William C. Langston, 3rd – Unit #6051

PUBLIC NOTICE TO ANTOINE TERRELL FLOOD IN RE: ADOPTION OF JOCELYN ROSE FLOOD, A minor – No. 2008-134 AND IN RE: ADOPTION OF JAMAL TERRELL FLOOD – A minor – No. 2008-135 A Petition has been filed asking the Court to put an end to all rights you have as a parent to your children, Jocelyn Rose Flood and Jamal Terrell Flood. An involuntary Termination of Parental Rights Hearing has been scheduled for March 16, 2009 at 9:00 a.m. in Hearing Room No. 6 of the York County Judicial Center, 45 North George Street, York , Pennsylvania, to terminate your parental rights to Jocelyn Rose Flood and Jamal Terrell Flood, whose Step-Father is Gemino Rafael Cortez and whose Mother is Jennifer Rose Cortez. You are warned that even if you fail to appear at the scheduled hearing, the hearing will go on without you and your rights to your child may be ended by the Court without you being present. You have a right to be represented at the hearing by a lawyer. You should take this paper to your lawyer at once. If you do not have a lawyer or cannot afford one, go to or telephone the office set forth below to find out where you can get legal help. TERRY R. BAKER Family Court Administrator York County Court of Common Pleas York County Judicial Center 45 North George Street York, Pennsylvania 17401 Telephone No. (717)771-9360 Petitioner's Attorney: Thomas M. Clark, Esquire 130 West Church Street, Ste. 100 Dillsburg, PA 17019

82 | city paper

FEBRUARY

ADOPTION

GET A NEW COMPUTER

115

ADOPTION… Is a courageous decision for you. We promise your newborn secure life of forever love. Michelle & Todd 866-936-8363. Expenses paid.

Brand Name Laptops & Desktops Bad or NO Credit – No Problem Smallest weekly payments available. It's yours NOW – Call 800-803-8819 (AAN CAN)

FURNITURE MARKETPLACE 170

PREGNANT? CONSIDERING ADOPTION? Local agency. Caring, Compassionate, 24 hour a day personalized confidential service. WE'RE HERE TO HELP. Adoption is from one heart to another. Adoption Makes Family. 410-683-2100

WANTED

4 SALE

140

A CASH BUYER Coins, US gold & silver, antiques, gold jewelry, sterling silver & pocket watches. Top dollar paid by collector. Will travel. 410-647-8253

ANTIQUES TOP CASH PAID for Antiques & Collectible. Glassware, toys, trains, furniture, pottery, silver, military items, jewelry, etc. Buying 7 days a week. Call 410-391-4405

GOT RECORDS? I pay $ CASH $ for your LP's, 45's & 78's. R & B, jazz, rock, blues, world, reggae, punk, new wave, metal, rap, folk, gospel, lounge exotica, soul funk, country, club, dance, etc. I also buy TURN TABLES & GUITARS Call 443-226-9628

LIQUIDATIONS!! NOW All Commercial Business. LOW RATES! DNAuctioneers 443-414-2054 410-783-1846

RICH GIRL HELP ME. PO BOX 6157 Balto, MD 21231-0157

WE BUY VINTAGE Earn Extra Money Now by Selling Your Vintage Clothing! 410-244-6554 Ask for Kallie! baltimorevintageclothing.com

$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

BED $240 BRAND NEW KING PILLOWTOP SET in plastic w/ warranty. Can deliver. 410-982-2003

PETS MARKETPLACE

BEDS Quilted tops. New, still in plastic. Queen sz. retailed $598, sell $199. King sz. retailed $798, sell $299. 10yr/warr. Can Deliver. Financing Available. 410-598-2460

BEDS

X-THICK PILLOW TOP New in plastic. Queen Size: retailed $798, sell $279. King: retailed $998, sell $379. 10 yr warr. Can deliver. Financing avail. 410-687-5313

BRAND NEW QUEEN PILLOWTOP BED in plastic w/ warranty. $170. Can deliver. 410-982-2003

Sat, Feb. 21, 10:00 AM 711 Brinkwood Rd, 21229 Antiques, Furniture & much, much more. DNAuctioneers 443-414-2054 See Photos At Auctionzip.com enter ID #3455

LEATHER SOFA & LOVESEAT. BRAND NEW matched set. $895 443-992-2757

ROCKING CHAIR Large, light/medium brown wood w/ 8 slots on back & extra wide seat & cushion. Cute & comfy. $95. Call 410-529-1598

MARKETPLACE MISC.

175

BISTRO SET Brand new, still in box. Terra cotta sunflower design w/ 2 matching chairs. Beautiful for porch or garden. $85. Call Dee 410-444-2701

BOX OF NEW FABRIC

CEMETERY SPOTS

'+&#'//

COMPUTER MARKETPLACE 165

COMPUTERS FOR KIDS AND THE NEEDY! Looking for people to donate broken or unused computers that we can repair and donate to local schools and charitable organizations. 410-563-9000 r_poisson@comcast.net

11, 2009

citypaper.com

185

CHIHUAHUA PUPPIES 4 Sale: 1 female, white, $875 & 1 male, buff w/ white marking, $825 firm. Both with America's Pet Registry Paper & Vet Checked. Available for delivery October 18, 2008. Contact Ms. Nancy @ 410-265-6793

COCKAPOOS Yorkipoos, Maltipoos, Puggles, Labs, Boxers, Chihuahuas, Shepherds, Mini Pins & cute mixed puppies. $175 & up. 717-548-4291 lic. knl "We got an overwhelming response! In 2 days, we hired the employee we were looking for!" Renaissance Fine Arts Gallery

FURNITURE – ESTATE AUCTION

Med & lrg pcs. $35. 410-783-5411

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Household items & furniture: lvg rm set, dinette set, twin beds, queen beds. Baby items: crib, chg table, games, toys & movies. TVs: 19" & 13" color. Misc: 2 walkers, bath spa, silverware, cookware, towels & hand cloths, metal cabinet, bike carrier, dishwasher, window fans, fridge, electric stove, women's clothes size 16/18 & 14/12. Washer/dryer electric, sheet sets, queen & twin comforters & other misc items. Before 10am @ 410-265-6793. Leave msg after 10am

5 spots avail. Starting at $2000 each. Great location at Meadow Ridge Memorial Park. 443-452-1521

COCA-COLA ITEMS Old sign, 18"x54"; $300. Child's pedal car, new; $250. 410-931-8483

LAWN MOWER Cordless Black & Decker push mower, mulches, has quick start / electric start & 19" cut. Battery operated, works great! $155. Costs over $400 new. Call 410-529-1598

UNIQUE JEWELRY 10 pcs. Beads, gemstones, wirewrapping. From $7.99 to $29.99. 410-783-5411

SHAR-PEI PUPPIES We have 2 apricot colored male shar-pei puppies avail to a loving family. The puppies were born on Dec 14, 2008 & can be an addition to your family by Feb 8, 2009. The mother is CKC registered & the father is AKC registered. We are located in Severn, MD & if interested, please call for more information. 410-491-2071 email: gecko2825@hotmail.com

(&&#(// BAIL BOND SERVICES

207

CLEANING SERVICES

CLEANING TO PERFECTION

A NEW BEGINNING BAIL BONDS Serving the state of MD, 24 hrs a day, 7 days a week. Quick & reliable service. Call Larry at 410-462-1488 or Chris at 443-621-3376 or Rob at 443-857-8520

Residential & sm Bus, Insured. References. 410-292-4873

COMPUTER/WEB SERVICES 220

J-BIRD BAIL BONDS IT'S BETTER TO KNOW US AND NOT NEED US, THEN TO NEED US AND NOT KNOW US 410-366-BAIL (2245)

GET A NEW COMPUTER! Brand name laptops & desktops. Bad or NO credit – no problem. Smallest weekly payments avail. CALL NOW 1-800-816-2232 (AAN CAN)

SICK COMPUTER? Don’t buy a new one, save the one you have! Total computer wellness starting at $40

Call Computer Express partz@comcast.net

410-563-9000

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ELECTRICAL & MECH LICENSE PREPARATION Tutoring and Customized Training for Electrical & Mechanical License Preparation by Licensed Master Electrician, 1st Grade Engineer George Maloney 410-635-2584

HIGH SCHOOL DIPLOMA! Fast, Affordable & Accredited. FREE Brochure. Call NOW! 1-800-532-6546 ext. 97 http://www.continentalacademy.com (AAN CAN)

MATH & COMPUTER FOR ADULTS 4 hour session. All you need to know about Math & Computers. Visit www.trademan.net for details 410-665-4602

THE LEARNING COACH Academic Help for Middle Grades Unique, affordable academic support. Organizational & reading plus support & tutorials for content area classes. Masters/MSDE cert. 1-877-673-7084 www.thelearningcoach.info "We got an overwhelming response! In 2 days, we hired the employee we were looking for!" Renaissance Fine Arts Gallery

FINANCIAL SERVICES

235

BURIED IN CREDIT CARD DEBT? We can save you thousands and lower your monthly payments. Call Debt Relief hotline for your free consultation. 1-800-399-3560 (AAN CAN)

CASH FOR GOLD We buy Gold, Silver, Plat. Get Cash NOW! Highest Payouts – Satisfaction Guaranteed. 1-877-548-1550 (AAN CAN)

HEATING & AIR CONDITIONING 240

AIR-TECH Refrigeration & Mechanical *Heating *Air Conditioning *Refrigeration *Plumbing Sales & Service *We service & sell all brands of equipment *Specialize in installing duct systems in older homes 410-335-3660 24 hrs a day, 7 days a week.*Professional, quality service *Affordable prices * Free estimates given on all new systems* HVAC/R #10230 Financing Avail

VERTICAL MECH SERVICES Straight up solutions! Reasonable rates. Plumbing, heating & air conditioning. 410-935-7120

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citypaper.com

FEBRUARY

11,

2009

city paper | 83


RECORD LABELS/STUDIOS

HOME IMPROVEMENTS - LIC. 245

MOVING/HAULING/DEMOLITION & Towing. Cheap! For low income. Short notice. Personal service, over 30 yrs exp. Insured. 410-327-8993

4 LESS MOVERS HOME IMPROVEMENT SPECIALISTS Kitchen & Bath renovations, Decks, Drywall, Tile. Lic & Bonded. No job too big or too small! 410-814-7293

WE FINISH JOBS OTHER PEOPLE STARTED!

PET CARE

All phases of construction. 40 Years Experience. Call 410-615-6005

HOME IMPROVEMENTS - MISC. 250

AFFORDABLE

270

MIDDAY DOG WALKING Company has 5yrs exp. competitive rates, friendly service, free Consultation. 336-575-0575

PLUMBING SERVICES

HANDYMAN. Plaster, tile, paint, wood, locks, metal, roof, rats killed, drains, leaks, gutters, cleaning, hauling, plumbing, electric, doors, windows, floors, lead paint, carpets. Anything. 24/hrs 443-527-8515

A+ HANDYMAN Roofing, carpentry/finish carpentry, decks, ceramic tile, plumbing, kitchens, baths, windows & floors. Free estimates! 443-528-3867

TREE SERVICES

Why settle for the rest when you can have the best 4 less? We move it all! Serving the Baltimore/ DC area. Free estimates, call us now: 410-963-3349

256

275

DRS PLUMBING & HEATING Master plumber, I do my own work., Courteous & reliable. Snr citizen dsc. Pete 410-905-0386 Lic 9012

SERVICES MISCELLANEOUS 290

ADT SECURITY HOME SECURITY SYSTEMS Starting at $99 Serving Baltimore City & Counties Call David Miller at 443-514-8583

ARE YOU READY FOR DTV? LEGAL SERVICES

260

NEED LEGAL HELP?

Call FCI/Vision Quest. Off-Air Antenna & Digital Conversions, HughesNET High Speed Satellite Internet. 410-346-6933 CLASSIFIEDS UPDATED DAILY AT WWW.CITYPAPER.COM

Don't know where to start? Make the right call, for the right lawyer‌ Bar Association of Baltimore City LAWYER REFERRAL & INFORMATION SERVICE 410-539-3112

MOVING/HAULING

MIND, BODY & SPIRIT

CLASSIFIEDS

Reliable service. Snow plow & trash removal. Houses, yards, garages & bsmts. Reasonable rates, senior discounts. $20 & up. 443-804-6744

UPDATED DAILY

ALL YOUR JUNK!!!

WWW.CITYPAPER. KAANGO.COM

Free Estimates. Basements, Garages, Yard Work, Complete House Clean-up, Appliances, Furniture, & Hauling. 410-984-7032

WOMEN'S

LIGHT MOVING

FEBRUARY

citypaper.com

435

BY AARON ZVI All ages and skill levels. Classical, Folk, Rock, Blues, Theory, Vocals. Years of teaching and performing experience. BS from Towson University and Graduate work at Peabody. $40 per hour. Call 410-409-0738 or email aaronzvilw@yahoo.com

DJs for Special Occasions with years of exp. Specializing in Oldies Music. Quotes based upon 4 hrs. Call 443-846-1825

MUSIC LESSONS

440

all levels - folk, blues, jazz

GUITAR LESSONS MUSIC THEORY

7HJI"CKI?9 ;DJ;HJ7?DC;DJ

LARRY HOFFMAN Grammy Nominee / Award-Winning Producer, Composer, Author. Frmr Peabody Faculty 410-685-9091 myspace.com/lawrencehoffman

*&&#*//

PIANO, VOICE LESSONS & VOCAL COACHING Get lessons from an experienced University of Maryland graduate who has been teaching for 9 years! Flexible scheduling & competitive rates! All ages welcome, all skill levels encouraged! Call Stephanie at 301-751-7776 or email her at jimmorrison27@hotmail.com for more info.

VIOLIN LESSONS

ENTERTAINMENT SHOWPLACE 412

PLACE YOUR CLASSIFIED LINE AD 24/7 AT WWW.CITYPAPER.COM

SHORT FILM COMPETITION Grand Prize $1000 ($2500 IN TOTAL AWARDS) Entries due 15 February 2009 For more information: www.Rumschpringe.com

MUSICIANS WANTED

GUITAR LESSONS

KICK PRODUCTIONS

Counseling for women & men, couples, families, plus women's therapy group. Sliding fee scale, some insurance. Call, lv message. 410-532-2GROW (2476)

LET ME HELP YOU UNRAVEL THE MYSTERY – MIKE MALONEY. MALONEYVIOLINSTUDIO.COM 410-871-3778

WWW.CITYPAPER.KAANGO.COM

415

BANDS WANTED The Red House Tavern, Canton is looking for live Bands. Call 410-522-2310 Leave a Message

BASS PLAYER For Theophany, a progressive original rock fusion band. Vocals a plus. Please, must be able to play! Call 410-627-8078 or email froggleggs312@comcast.net

DRUMMER WANTED For the U.S. Army's Premier Touring Show Band. $49,029 - $55,275 annually plus full Army benefits. See: www.armyfieldband.com Call 301-677-5781

Pop/R&B or Gospel Needed. Call Dee 410-428-7338

REHEARSAL SPACE

MobilePay! Text “LAVA� to 25552. 10 mins. for $9.99

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425

TALK.

BAND LAND $250-$400/month. 443-831-2263 Heat incld. www.bandrehearsal.net ALWAYS

EVERY MONDAY AT NOON. CALL 410-523-3100 TO PLACE YOUR AD TODAY!

11, 2009

DISC JOCKEYS

GROWTH CENTER

CLASSIFIED LINE DEADLINE:

& HAULING Reasonable Rates. Fast Response. Call 410-752-5155 (Leave message)

84 | city paper

330

SINGERS & SONGWRITERS

265

A 1-- 2 -- 3 HAULING

Totally soundproof recording studio, Wired & ready to occupy. Call Musicians Institute of Baltimore for more info 410-661-6848

)&&#)//

T'S HAULING/MOVING Will clean basements, yards, etc. Will move your possessions or haul them away. Very reliable & reasonable. 410-889-3795 or 443-690-6525

RECORDING STUDIO FOR RENT

M;BBD;II

(&&#(// THOMAS

430

FREE TO LISTEN MUST BE 18+

â€

Hours of erotic talk with sexy locals

CALL NOW!

BALTIMORE

443-957-4795 WASHINGTON 301-830-8580

NEW! nightexchange.com

Try our 900 number: 1-900-287-2200 at $20/45 min.

†Carrier charges may apply.


+&&#+// PSYCHIC LINES

UPDATED DAILY

500

CLASSIFIEDS

7:KBJI

WWW.CITYPAPER. KAANGO.COM

Make a Genuine Connection FREE PSYCHIC AND TAROT READING Online: www.sostarots.com or by telephone: 1-866-800-4775 (AAN CAN)

LEXUS PSYCHIC READER, MEDIUM

CALL NOW!

410.986.4321

Washington 202.414.6456 Towson 443.921.0166 Other Cities: 1.800.300.0300

20 years experience. Asks no questions. 1-877-272-2700 ext. 884. (AAN CAN)

FREE TRIAL

CODE 1385 18+

SE ND ME SS AG ES

TOTALLY FREE

minu te othe r dati ng lines char ge by the

BALT IMOR E 410. 230. 2600 443. 703. 3333 Colu mbia Aber deen Esse x Wash ingto n DC

443. 430. 3300 443. 558. 0500 443. 815. 0800 202. 558. 0558

ates For other cities call (888) MegaM

4 ;7., 28/

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ates For other cities call (888) MegaM

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citypaper.com

FEBRUARY

11,

2009

city paper | 85


DATE/CHAT LINES

505

ALL MALE HOT GAY HOOKUPS! Call 410-986-4343 FREE w/ code: 1261 18+

CHAT, MEET AND FLIRT! Call: 410-986-4300 Try FREE! Use code 7135 Or 800-210-1010 18+

www.citypaper.com UPDATED DAILY

HOT GUYS! HOT CHAT! HOT FUN! Call 410-986-4343 FREE w/ code: 1261 18+

MEET HOT LOCALS Listen & Reply FREE! Straight 410-230-2600 Gay & Bi 410-468-4000 Use Free Code 7223, 18+

MEN, CONNECT. EASY. Gay, str8, curious, bi. The most exciting "for men only" phone line. Instant live action at 443-738-0644 18+ Free Trial

WHERE LOCAL SINGLES MEET Browse & Respond FREE! Straight 410-230-2600 Gay & Bi 410-468-4000 Use Free Code 6541 Or Visit MegaMates.com, 18+

MASSAGE & RELAXATION

515

AAAAA A-1 4 U Sexy chicks naughty tricks. Call for Specials. 410-633-2787 Nonsexual

AAAAAAHHHHH! Naughty Girls, Great Tudes. 410-737-8078 Nonsexual

AAAA ANGELS INN All new girls 19 – 35. Incall/Outcall. 24/7. Now hiring. Discreet. 410-963-7564. Nonsexual.

WANT TO BE... pampered by Pearl? Professional touch & beautiful attitude. Nothing is more important than to add a happy smile to your busy day 410-963-9529 Nonsexual

2 BETTER THAN 1

DOMINATION

Happy Valentine's Day from Towson U. Students, Jenn & Tiff. 443-977-2822 Nonsexual

SHEMALE/TRANSGENDERED 518

Advertise your Service for just $25 per week when you book 4 weeks or more. *Includes headline & 4 lines of text. Call 410-523-3100 to place your ad today!

A+ APRIL

7SYP

5'2". Very Passable! In/Out. Dwntn Location. No Rushing & very Friendly.410-227-8142 Nonsexual

&SH] &SH

BLONDE PLAYMATE Pretty, Classy, Engaging. Fetishes Welcome!! Every Man's fantasy come true You WILL ME. Val Specials. All cc's accepted. 443-789-1554 Non-sexual

BRAZILIAN BOMBSHELL Come, relax w/ this Brazilian model. Discreet loc, Owings Mills. Non rushed. CC accptd. 7a-12a Layla 443-739-5528 Nonsexual

BRITTANY Enjoy a very soothing & relaxing sensual experience. 410-977-3822. Nonsexual

COURTNEY

C O N C E P T S

&VSPQFBO "NFSJDBO 4QB

) 'S3(/+S! +-S ' S- $ S3(/+S,-+ ,,S 1 3III ) ' S % '-"' M,S1"-!S (- %S ( 3S (' )-,

ALLURING LOLA

410-663-1010

Domination; Fetishes; Exotic/ Therapeutic Massage; Waxing & More. Private/Discreet. 443-600-8850 Nonsexual

TURN 422,000 READERS INTO YOUR CUSTOMERS!

ASIA HEALTH BLONDE BEAUTY

34B-24-36. 100% Passable with amazing fem physique (silicone free). New In Town. 443-453-2503 Nonsexual

“Best Staff & Service In Baltimore�

B?:CS ( !S 0 'S %0 SlS (1,('SlS;: &T;:)&SlS (1S "+"'

681/,*+7 63$ 4XFEJTI %FFQ 5JTTVF .BTTBHF "DDVQSFTTVSF 'VMM #PEZ 3VC /PO 4FYVBM

Sexy Shemale. Discreet Encounters. Weekdays 10pm-7am, Weekends 24/7. Call 410-448-8121 Reasonable Rates. Nonsexual

KATIE

410-252-0203

Baltimore Area 8766 Philadelphia Rd. Take Exit 34 Left on Philadelphia Rd. 3rd Light on Left Hand Side. Lower Level.

Best American European Spa

Facials Waxing Saturday & Sunday Specials HIRING

10am-11pm 7 Days A Week 410-940-9569

22 yo, Clean, Fresh & New. 410-500-6426 Nonsexual

TAKE A RIDE Sexy Tgirl. Come ride Tarsha's train. 443-452-5228 Nonsexual

S

5'9 36DD-28-44 Dwntwn. Loc. 443-722-0197 Nonsexual Nonsexual

ADULT ENTERTAINERS

NONSEXUAL

ch oothing Tou E 4OUCH %VERYONE $ESIRES

TS LINDSAY DREAM GIRL

ESCAPE SPA

4H

BUSTY BLONDE

TALK TO A

MODEL 24 HOURS

FREE Preview 949-722-2222 415-765-4321

999-999-5900 Cust. Assist. $11-$18 for 15 minutes 86 | city paper

FEBRUARY

.E W &A C ES

! T TI TUD E S

Please call 443-519-9300 Nonsexual

MONA LISA Professional, private & discreet. Appt. Only Owings Mills /Reisterstown area. 443-622-7903 Nonsexual

TANTRIC

Sensuous massage. Bad boys welcome. Attitude adjustments, Toys, feminization, light discipline, CBT, waxing, enemas, prostate massage. Rebecca 703-721-9725 10a–9p Mon-Sat Nonsexual

TOP NOTCH Beautiful, sexy adult movie - type. 443-630-1644 Nonsexual

11, 2009

citypaper.com

CITY

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520

123 lbs 202-276-6535 Nonsexual

0QFO EBZT 'SFF QBSLJOH JO SFBS

2430 2430 York York Rd Rd Timonium, Timonium, MD MD

&SH][SVOW &SH]

DELANA

3FJTUFSTUPXO 3E 1JLFTWJMMF .% -PDBUFE PGG &YJU 4PVUI

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24 y.o., Af Am 5'4, 125 lbs. Pikesville area. 443-604-3353 Nonsexual

Ginger Upscale, Elite College Co-Ed. Come spice up your life with me and relax! Owings Mills location. 443-824-1996 In/Out 10 AM- 8 PM Nonsexual

5PUBM #PEZ

522

XTREME PLAYDEN

Regulars only. 443-992-1590 Nonsexual

Tall & Sexy. Outs daily. Ins Mon Fri. Call for availability. NO hagglers! 410-725-8320 Nonsexual

NON-SEXUAL

Lots of Specials Available!

ANGELINA

Enjoy a relaxing hour in the east 410-258-1218 nonsexual

WWW.CITYPAPER.KAANGO.COM

IRISH BEAUTY 6'1" Woman of Your Dreams. Maxine 410-980-5655 Nonsexual

ape

r. k

go aan

.com


non-sexual

$

10 off with this ad

410.948.2055 Open 7 days a week 10am-11pm 2808 E Joppa Rd Towson, MD 31B-Harford Rd, make left on Joppa Rd. 1/2 mile down on right side.

Specialist in Body Treatments, Acupressure & Reexology

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HEALTH CENTER

:

Grand Opening

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Enjoy Japanese Style Body Work 443-889-3906 by Appt. Only

Exotic Japanese Staff

Asian Acupressure • Shiatsu Massage

443-299-9900

10712 Reisterstown Rd., Ste. #200–Owings Mills

7 days a week 8am-11pm 7510 Bel Air Rd., Baltimore, MD 21236

695 to Ex.20, Continue N 5 mls, On left OPEN 7 DAYS 11am-12 MIDNIGHT

non-sexual

Massage Universe

HSBOE!PQFOJOH 2313!Zpsl!Se-!Mvuifswjmmf

Qspgfttjpobm!Mjdfotfe!Uifsbqjtu

ÂŚ!Txfejti!ÂŚ!Effq!Ujttvf!ÂŚ!Bddvqsfttvsf ÂŚ!Ipu!Tbvob!ÂŚ!Tipxfs

521.419.:141

Uvsg!Wjmmbhf!ÂŚ!3411!Zpsl!Se/!Tvjuf!329!ÂŚ!Ujnpojvn! )Ofbs!7:6!'!J.94*!Ofyu!up!Tubuf!Gbjs!Hspvoet Xbml.jot!'!Bqqpjounfout!ÂŚ!Pqfo!8!Ebzt!21BN!.!Njeojhiu Wjtb!ÂŚ!ND!ÂŚ!Bnfy NON-SEXUAL

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Please call to ďŹ nd out more. Prices Will Surprise You! s /PEN AM PM $AYS .ON 3EXUAL %AST *OPPA 2OAD s 4OWSON -$ $IRECTIONS 7EST EXIT " ! TO ,OCH 2AVEN "LVD s %AST EXIT " TO ,OCH 2AVEN "LVD -AKE 2IGHT ON % *OPPA 2D

ASIAN FLOWERS HEALTH CENTER

UĂŠ*Ă€ÂœviĂƒĂƒÂˆÂœÂ˜>Â?ĂŠ >ĂƒĂƒ>}i UĂŠ-ĂŒi>“ÊEĂŠ ÀÞÊ->Ă•Â˜>ĂŠ Ă›>ˆÂ?ˆ>LÂ?it

NEW JAPANESE STAFF

Professional massage therapy featuring full body massage, acupressure and shower.

"ÂŤi˜\ 7 days a week £äĂŠ>“ʇʣ£Ê“ Ăˆx™äĂŠ"Â?`ĂŠ7>ĂŒiĂ€Â?ÂœÂœĂŠ,`°ĂŠ­,ĂŒ°ĂŠ£änÂŽĂŠ Â?ÂŽĂ€Âˆ`}i]ĂŠ ĂŠĂ“£äÇx (Inside Lark Brown Shopping Center) non-sexual

#MVF 4LZ )FBMUI ] 8BML JOT XFMDPNF Specializing in Swedish massage, deep tissue, and reexology

BN° QN /0/ 4&96"-

Hiring FT & PT Licensed Massage Therapist 1707 Reisterstown Rd. Pikesville, MD 21208. 695 to exit 20 South. Turn left at ďŹ rst stoplight.

Oasis spa

§ Professional massage therapy * Swedish § Foot rub & Foot care * Shower § Exotic Body Works

Open 7 days 10am-11pm

Oriental Traditional Body Work Fresh Acupressure

!)& ( " &." (. ,

non-sexual

410-227-3328

521.923.5253

Wellness Center BACO THERAPY Dolphin NEW! NEW! NEW! BACO THERAPY MASSAGE

695 to exit 32A. Turn into tint shop and park in rear

5831 ½ Belair Rd. Baltimore, MD 21206 695 Exit 32 A

non-sexual

@DM

Relaxation & Stress Relief, Hot Stone, Massage & Asian Body Work, Hot Towels New Location 2413 York Rd., Timonium, MD 21093 In Basement From 695, Take Exit 26B From I-83, Take Exit 17 East Call for Directions

410-615-1226

Appointments Preferred Now Hiring FT/PT License Req’d. 7-Day trial

10

$

OFF

Green Ocean Oriental Health Center

1-HOUR MASSAGE

Before 7PM Expires Feb. 11

DISCOUNTED RATES BEFORE 7PM

nonsexual

Body Works ASK ABOUT OUR NEW LOWER RATES Enjoy All American Staff

410.391.5332

Appointments/ Walk-ins, M-F 10-9, Sat & Sun 12-9

443-756-0688

8303 Philadelphia Rd. White Marsh.

Open 7 days 9am-12am 5864 Belair Rd. Baltimore, MD 21206 Off 695 ext 32A 2 miles South of Beltway

695 to Ex 34 Right on Philadelphia Rd. Continue 1 mile on left. NON-SEXUAL. Visa,MC,Amex

Non-sexual

PHOENIX SPA

Health Center Relaxing Spa

443-995-7208

Relaxing!

• Feeling of gentle thoughtfulness • Professional Massage • Foot Rub • Shower

8BML JOT 8FMDPNF

9". 12". 01&/ %":4 " 8&&, 8FTU 3PBE r 5PXTPO #BMUJNPSF .BSZMBOE 0Ă­ FYJU " iSJHIUu r 410-412-0313

experienced professionals

White Cloud

1SPGFTTJPOBM .BTTBHF 'PPU 3VC "OE 4IPXFS

Parking Available

Now Hiring

Enjoy Japanese style body work

8307 Liberty Road Randallstown, MD 21244 Open 7 days 9 a.m.- 12 Midnight

OPO TFYVBM

Non-Sexual

citypaper.com

Off 695 to exit 18 1 mile west on left

FEBRUARY

11,

2009

GRAND OPENING!

city paper | 87


FEBRUARY

11, 2009

★★★ CLASSIFIED ONLINE AT W W W.CITYPAPER.K A ANGO.COM ★★★ ★★★ 812 Park Ave., Baltimore, MD 21201 • classified@citypaper.com ★★★

To Advertise Your Business in Baltimore’s BEST Automotive Section, Contact Bettina Wachter at 443.452.1532 or bwachter@citypaper.com

AUTOMOTIVE 88 | city paper

citypaper.com

(&3 >4: 7*&11> 7*39 & (&7 KTW (&8-$ Credit cards and large deposits can make renting a car hard if not impossible, especially in these hard economic times. So, who do you turn to? G&N Car Rental, that’s who! According to Katie, General Manager of G&N Car Rental located on 6660 Security Blvd. in Baltimore, MD. “We understand not everyone has a major credit card and huge deposit amounts which are required for larger car rental companies so we make it simple with low rates, no need for a credit card and we keep the deposits at a minimum.”

L;>?9B;I

-&&#-//

CARS

705

$500 POLICE IMPOUNDS! Cars/Trucks from $500. For listings, call 1-800-585-3563 ext. 2736

WHAT IS REQUIRED TO RENT A CAR FOR CASH? According to Nick, General Manager of G&N Car Rental located at 701 W. 34th Street,”All you need for a cash car rental is you need to be 21 years or older, the deposit (they vary from the type of vehicle you choose to rent), the rental fee (again varies depending on the type of vehicle you select), drivers license and proof of address - THAT’S IT!” Nik continues, “We are a family run car rental company like no other car rental company out there. We are friendly and do our best to help you get into a vehicle, no matter what your circumstance is. Whether your car is broken and insurance will not cover the cost of a rental, you need a ride over the weekend, or you just want to take family or friends on a local trip, we are the place you can turn to for the best vehicles, the best value and the best customer service!” WHAT TYPE OF VEHICLES DO YOU RENT? According to Katie, “Our vehicle selections range from late model Chevrolet Impalas, Ford Focus, Ford Taurus, Mini Vans and Station Wagons. We not only routinely provide maintenance for our vehicles to ensure they are in tip top shape but we also provide an emergency number for you when you rent, just in case you run into any problems. In addition, we really work with individuals to provide several payment options that fit into their budget.” So, the next time you need to rent a car, who you gonna call? G&N CAR RENTAL! Two convenient locations to choose from: 6660 Security Blvd. Suite 5 (Across from Fox Chevy inside the Meadows Shopping Center) 443-429-5089 or downtown at 701 W. 34th St.

443-874-7992

Nick Nikolov General Manager G&N Car Rental

CONFUSED about finance rates? Credit approval? Monthly payments? Email bwachter@citypaper.com

for helpful hints and free advice


CARS

705

BMW

'01 325IT 4 dr wagon, silver/gray, RWD, 17" low profile tires, 119k mi. Tinted. Good cond, needs minor mechanical work. $7500 OBO. 443-813-3577

BUY HERE, PAY HERE, FILE HERE! File your taxes here‌drive out today! Auto Mall 410-483-2277

CHEVROLET

'04 IMPALA Only 27k mi. Blue. PL, PW, cd, V6. Great on gas! MD inspct'd. Asking $11,900, entertaining all offers! Call Larry 443-621-2809

CHRYSLER

'07 SEBRING 4 dr, PL, PW, cd, very clean, lots of TLC. One owner. Must see to believe! Call Larry for best offer price. 443-621-2809

PIMP

719 North Point Blvd. Baltimore, MD 21237 Corner of North Point & Erdman

AUTO MALL

NDJG G>9:

410-483-CARS (2277)

OVER 100 VEHICLES TO CHOOSE FROM!

PLACE YOUR AD FOR FREE FOR TWO WEEKS

Introducing

TAX MAX

Bring you 08' W-2's & we will complete your tax returns & your refund turns into your down payment! Call Denise

CONTACT ROB FARLEY AT

RFARLEY@CITYPAPER.COMʄ„„„„„„„

Are you tired of being turned down? 2 to

TODAY for details!!

HONDA

'91 CIVIC

choose from

DX model, auto, 4 dr, AC, PS. Still running, needs some work. Can use as parts car. As is. $1000 OBO. 410-383-1338

HYUNDAI

'07 AZERA Limited! Top of the line, only 30k mi. V6, lthr, dual pwr heated seats, sunrf, 6 cd in-dash. Like new. Orig $35k, asking $20k OBO. Must sell! 443-621-2809

7 3 6 8 15 Passenger Vans Available!

Rent me TODAY!

Rates starting at

$19.00

Cargo Vans & Box Trucks Available!

Weekly Specials!

starting from $65

no credit?

‘99 - ‘04

‘00-‘04 Chevrolet

Sonata

Impala

4 to choose from

'07 ELANTRA

starting from $50

Low mileage. No credit checks. We finance. $12,900. Call the Auto Mall‌410-483-2277

EasyUsedBuy.com

30+ MPG CARS CARS IN IN STOCK STOCK

HUGE SELECTION OF CARS!

CASH AUTO & TRUCK RENTALS Ç£™Ê ÂœĂ€ĂŒÂ…ĂŠ*ÂœÂˆÂ˜ĂŒĂŠ Â?Ă›`°ĂŠ >Â?ĂŒÂˆÂ“ÂœĂ€i]ĂŠ ÊÓ£ÓÎÇÊUĂŠCorner of North Point & Erdman NO CREDIT CHECK REQUIRED! NO INSURANCE NEEDED! NO CREDIT CARD NEEDED! UNLIMITED MILEAGE!

9H;:?J FHE8B;CI5 800. D[[Z W I[YedZ 9^WdY[5 675.0917 www.EasyGMCBuy.com

>[ ndj XVc VchlZg N:H id i]Z [daadl^c\/ a 8jggZcian :beadnZY4 a 8gZY^i HXdgZ d[ *+%4 aĂŠEgdk^YZ & Ji^a^in 7^aa4 a &!%%% Ydlc4

Save Save Up Up to to $$

11,000

800. 675.0917

per week Are you tired of being told you have no credit?

HYUNDAI

www.

‘99-’01

Grand Marquis

A>B>I:9 I>B: D;;:G

86AA B: ID96N ;DG 6 ;G:: 6JID AD6C :K6AJ6I>DC ))("+'&"'-%. JCEG:8:9:CI:9 H6K>C<H H6B: 96N 6EEGDK6AH 8jggZcian d[[Zg^c\ aViZ bdYZa! adl b^aZV\Z XVgh! igjX`h! b^c^"kVc h HJK h 6jidbdi^kZ AZcY^c\ 8dchjaiVci

A6GGN 7DJA9>C

per week

per week Have you recently had a repo or bankruptcy? ‘94-‘03 Hondas

bankruptcy?

‘95-‘02 Ford

Windstar

starting from $50

4 to choose from

starting from $50

per week

starting from $65

per week

BUY HERE • PAY HERE IF YOU ARE EMPLOYED THEN YOU HAVE A

GUARANTEED APPROVAL

MARYLANDS LARGEST BUY-HERE-PAY-HERE DEALERSHIP Late Models Low

Mileage

NO Credit Check--OK! • FIRST TIME BUYERS--OK! NO PROOF INCOME--OK! • BK IS--OK! • PAST OR RECENT REPOS--OK! citypaper.com

FEBRUARY

11,

2009

city paper | 89


LULU EIGHTBALL

NEED A VEHICLE?

EMILY FLAKE

Let us do your taxes! Use your refund as a down payment! Call today‌410-483-2277

NISSAN '05 ALTIMA SL model, blck w/ tan lthr. Auto, PS, PW, PL, sunrf. Bose 6-cd changer. Under 34.5k mi. Sirius sat radio. Approx 28 mpg. KBB is $17,535. Asking $13,500. 410-258-1713 brookenicole19@hotmail.com

PONTIAC

'69 FIREBIRD All original # matching car. 65k orig mi. 350 CI 350 turbo transmission. Runs & drives but needs partial restoration. Reduced to $4500 firm. Serious calls only 410-947-5733

TOYOTA

'02 COROLLA LE model. 93k mi. PL, PW. AM/FM/ CD. Affordable payments. Auto Mall‌410-483-2277

TOYOTA

'07 MATRIX Under 30k mi! Rare! Bright red, PL, PW, 4 dr hatch, cd, one owner. Can provide vehicle history. One of the best selling compacts around! Call inspect & finance. Call Larry 443-621-2809

CITYPAPER.KAANGO.COM .*'+ EjaVh`^ =ln B^YYaZ G^kZg GY#

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11, 2009

citypaper.com

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710

CHEVROLET

'05 TRAILBLAZER 49k mi. Looks great! We finance. No credit checks. Auto Mall‌ 410-483-2277

FORD

'07 EXPEDITION XLT 4x4, PL, PW, pwr seats. Black. Can provide history. Must sell! Can help finance! Extra seating at extra low price! Call Larry 443-621-2809

JEEP

'06 COMMANDER 35k mi. Bring your W-2s! Use your refund as a down payment! Call the Auto Mall‌410-483-2277

MAZDA

'08 TRIBUTE PL, PW, cd, alum wheels, one owner. Great gas mileage! Factory warranty transfers! Was $26k, asking $15,900! Must sell! Can help w/ financing. Call Mr. Bouldin 443-621-2809

NOW OFFERING TAX REFUND SERVICES! File today‌drive out today! Auto Mall 410-483-2277

TRUCKS & VANS

711

DODGE TOYOTA

'91 CAMRY WAGON Station wagon model. Auto, AC, all pwr, CC. Inspected. Runs great. Excel cond in & out. Negotiable price. 410-522-8773

VOLKSWAGEN

'01 CABRIO Low mileage. $7200. No credit checks. Great condition! We finance! Call today 410-483-2277

'89 RAM EXT. VAN Auto, 6 drs, RWD, white/red, 8 cyl. 104k mi. Passed emissions, MD inspect'd. $1200. 410-669-5163 from 5 pm - 7 pm Sun-Fri (Sun test drives) or tumarc@yahoo.com

FILE YOUR TAXES HERE‌DRIVE OUT TODAY! Use your refund as your down payment! Easy financing‌NO credit checks! Auto Mall 410-483-2277

CASH CAR RENTAL RENT 7 DAYS, GET 1 DAY FREE

Ankkr' O^ab\e^l Z]o^kmbl^] bg <bmr IZi^k <eZllbÕ ^]l Zk^ `hbg` _Zlm \bmriZi^k' dZZg`h'\hf

410-780-4944 CAR & TRUCK SOURCE Auto Sales & Rental ™äĂ“ĂˆĂŠ*Ă•Â?>ĂƒÂŽÂˆĂŠ ˆ}Â…Ăœ>ÞÊUĂŠ >Â?ĂŒÂˆÂ“ÂœĂ€i]ĂŠ ĂŠĂ“ÂŁĂ“Ă“ä

UNLIMITED MILES!

GOVAN’S AUTO RENTAL LOW RATES +,&( OEHA H: š *'&$*,*$'(-/

CA$H Auto Rentals DAILY, WEEKLY & MONTHLY RATES (Credit card not required)

* CALL FOR DETAILS

CREDIT CARDS ARE ACCEPTED

*


711

FORD

720

ABR INSURANCE

XLT model, one owner, can provide vehicle history. Willing to MD inspect. PL, PW, cd, alum wheels, can help w/ financing. Asking $9,999 OBO. Call Larry 443-621-2809

'04 EXPLORER XLT Low miles! PW, PL, cd, can MD inspect. Alum wheels, beautiful blue. One owner, can assist financing. Asking $11,100. Larry 443-621-2809

HEMI, CUSTOM RIMS '05 Dodge Ram. 46k mi. $10,500. Auto Mall 410-483-2277

TOYOTA

'07 TUNDRA Crew-Max 4x4 V8 SR5. 4 dr, red/ gray. 20" alloy wheels, very clean, well-maintained, garage kept. 11k mi Remote start & roll-up bed cover. $9500. d33miller@gmail.com

715

Points & accidents OK. Low monthly payments. Same day coverage. Call Fred today. 410-551-5101

Add your company's logo to your Classified Line ad! Call Nicole at 443-452-1522 for details

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ALL CARS, ANY CONDITION: CA$H

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Top $$$$$ paid for cars, trucks, boats & motorcycles. Any year or condition. We will pick up or tow. Call 443-829-6699

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CAR,TRUCK,BOAT, & RV DONATIONS Needed for Kids Fund, Inc. Running or not. Fast, free tow. Tax receipts given. Check our book value for your vehicle. Revenue used locally. Free gift with every donation! Feel good funding city children's education. 410-532-9330. Visit our website at www.kidsfundinc.org/

If you have $

199

CD

>CHJG6C8:44 LZ XVc ]Zae l^i] i]Vi idd

WE RENT FOR CASH!!

G&N

CAR RENTAL

and a job you could be approved. Go to:

2ND LOCATION NOW OPEN!

www.instantcar creditapproval.com

443-429-5089

EasyPontiacBuy.com

www.

34+ MPG CARS CARS 800. 675.0917

6660 Security Blvd. Suite 5 (Meadows Shopping Center)

redit All Major C rds & Debit ca ! accepted

NO Credit Check NO Credit Card Required NO Insurance Needed

701 W. 34th St. Baltimore, MD 21211 2 min. from Rotunda & Druid Hill Park

443-874-7992

UPDATED DAILY

FORD

MAKE YOUR AD STAND OUT!

NO DOWN PAYMENT!

B6GNA6C9¹H

'03 EXPLORER

AUTOMOBILES MISC.

AUTOMOBILES SERVICES

citypaper.kaango.com

TRUCKS & VANS

citypaper.com

FEBRUARY

11,

2009

city paper | 91


FEBRUARY

11, 2009

★★★ CLASSIFIED ONLINE AT W W W.CITYPAPER.K A ANGO.COM ★★★ ★★★ 812 Park Ave., Baltimore, MD 21201 • classified@citypaper.com ★★★

FAX: 410.728.8728 PHONE: LINE-410.523.3100 X212, DISPLAY-410-523-0300 X248

FOR

92 | city paper

BALTIMORE’S MOST AMAZING RENTALS & SALES

RENT & REAL ESTATE

BEL AIR ROAD

citypaper.com

HEECC7J;I

.&&#.(&

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ROOMMATES (COUNTY)

810

ALL AREAS – ROOMMATES.COM Browse hundreds of online listings with photos and maps. Find your roommate with a click of the mouse! Visit: www.roommates.com (AAN CAN)

ANNAPOLIS ISO NS prof F to shr clean new 3 BR condo. Great location. Email Wayne for info at wayne.acosta @ronbortnickinc.com

CITYPAPER.KAANGO.COM

ARBUTUS M ISO quiet M to shr hm. Private living qtrs. $490/mo, utils incl. $200 sec dep req'd. 21227. Call Jack @ 410-242-5916

Rm avail on #15 busline. ISO NS prof to shr hm w/ 3 F. You must work 35-40 hrs/wk. CAC, W/D, cable ready. No pets. Avail 3/01. $275/mo + sec dep, split utils. 410-274-0729

BOWLEY'S QTRS Furnished waterfront loft to shr. In ground pool, boat slip avail. Utils incl. Must be gay / gay-friendly. Smoking & drinking ok but not excessive. 410-335-3913 after 5 pm

CATONSVILLE Rm avail, cable incl. W/D, w/w. $395/ mo + utils. 21229. 410-525-3252

DUNDALK GWM ISO RM to shr 3 BR, 1.5 Ba hm. AC, W/D, d/w, yd, Directv. Refs req'd. $450/mo utils incl. Serious inquiries only. 21222. 410-477-0311

DUNDALK Married couple ISO RM(s). Must be employed w/ refs. Gender/sex pref of no concern. Must like pets. NS indoors. Hot tub, pool, AC, W/D. Currently renovating. $175/wk. 21222. 443-980-9300 nzdw@comcast.net

ESSEX ISO F RM for 2nd rm in TH. Must have job, be clean & considerate. No kids or pets. $600/mo; cable, water, 'net incl. Pay ½ of BG&E. Pay 1st mo's rent when moving in. Avail 2/1. Zip: 21221. 443-622-6229

ESSEX ISO M to shr house, use of Ba & kitch. Must have job. No drugs, no pets. Background check req'd. 21221. 410-682-3054

LAUREL ISO NS quiet prof RM for Mstr BR. Between Balto & DC, right off BW Parkway. 4 mins to MARC train. $700/mo, incl utils. $350 sec dep. 20708. 301-490-9847 or email johnryeh@yahoo.com

MIDDLE RIVER ISO easy-going RM for furn rm. AC, W/D, yd. Owner is smoker, has cats. Must be under 26. $150/wk, incls gas, elect, cable, 'net, H2O. 21220. cuzimdaboss420@aol.com

PIKESVILLE 25 y.o. prof M ISO RM to shr grnd flr condo unit. Pool use, priv Ba, W/D, fpl. Near beltway & pub trans. $700/ mo + $350 dep. Utils, 'net, cable, bimonthly cleaning service all incl. 443-768-4812

TOWSON Friendly, clean prof NS ISO same to shr 3 BR, 3 Ba hm in quiet area. AC, W/D, storage, fin bsmt, pool, prking. Must be responsible. Avail now. $500/mo + utils. Zip: 21286. 410-296-0296

ROOMMATES (CITY)

815

BAYVIEW AREA ISO young prof for priv rm & full Ba in downtown TH. W/D. Newly renovated in great, safe area. Avail 2/1. $550/mo, utils incl. 21224. 410-698-5249

BEL AIR-EDISON 33 y.o. prof/grad student ISO RM for lrg renovated TH. W/D, 'net, d/w, cable, hdwd, sec sys. $450500/mo + 1/3 utils. 21213. lastubbs@verizon.net


ROOMMATES FOR RENT ROOMMATES (CITY)

815

BOLTON HILL ISO NS RM to shr condo. AC, W/D, fpl, 'net, d/w, cable, gym, sec sys. 1 yr lse + 1 mo's dep req'd. $600/mo + ½ elec. Near pub trans. 21217. 410-669-7901 kfi10@msn.com

BROOKLYN GWM ISO NS RM. 2 rms avail: $450/mo for lrg rm, $400/mo for smaller rm. AC, 'net, W/D, yd. Utils incl except heating oil. Near pub trans. 21225. 443-756-3535 tmccloud1@juno.com

CANTON Lrg furnished BR avail in nice & safe area. Utils, cable, W/D all incl. $400/mo. 21224. 443-938-6466

CHARLES VILL. ISO drug-free NS F prof or grad student for furnished rm. Shr Ba, kitch, laundry facilities. Utils incl. AC avail. On bus line. $500/mo. Credit chk & refs req'd. 21218. 410-366-2243 FEDERAL HILL – 21230

LOOKING FOR‌

FEDERAL HILL BR avail in luxury TH. Shr w/ 2 late20s profs who are fun, respectful, generally very quiet. Heat, AC, W/D, ss appls, d/w, cable, 'net, more. $750/mo + 1/3 utils. 21230. 301-4040764 jeremytunis@gmail.com

FEDERAL HILL ISO RM to shr 2 BR, 1.5 Ba RH. 1 yr lse req'd. I have a medium sz dog. CAC, sec sys, W/D, fncd bkyd. Near pub trans. Credit chk, employ & rent history req'd. $600/mo + ½ utils. 21230. lbatty@ymail.com

FEDERAL HILL Priv BR & Ba avail in luxury condo. AC, d/w, W/D, 'net, fitness center, rooftop deck, more. $800/ mo, utils & cable & bi-monthly cleanings all incl. 21230. 443-224-5142 sipping_water@yahoo.com

HAMILTON ISO F RM to shr 3 BR, 1.5 Ba home w/ prof F & dog. Fncd yd, dogs welcome. Off-st pkg, bsmt storage. $600/mo + utils; 1 mo. sec dep req'd. 21206. 443-280-4315

ISO F RM to shr lovely 3 BR hm just off the Avenue. 1 Ba, W/D, d/w, exp brick, hdwd, deck, skylt. Near JHU Homewood, bus. $550/mo. 21211. Call Jessie 812-320-1928 or email jessiewatrous@hotmail.com

MAYFIELD ISO gay-friendly NS. Near JHU, Morgan, pub trans. AC, W/D, d/w, hdwd, yd, 'net. Utils incl. Furniture avail if wanted. $400/mo. 21218. 410-889-3282 energyhands@earthlink.net

MT VERNON-21201 ISO non smk male room for rent $165wk +sec dep, cable, w/d, yard Call Amanda 443-682-9804

MT VERNON-21201 Need Rmmte for spacious apt. W/ Heat, A/C, H20, W/D. 443-799-8321

NEAR MORGAN ISO lesbian or bi F to shr 3 BR hm. You'll have use of common areas, laundry rm, off-st pkg. $675/mo, all utils incl. 21206 443-677-5549

GARAGE/PARKING RENTAL 835 CHARLES VILLAGE - 21218

$100 PER MONTH

H;DJ

Garage/Parking/Storage. Call now! 410-963-0245

.(+#.// ROOM RENTALS

RESERVOIR HILL ISO mature M for furn rm in priv hm. Shr kitch. Cable incl. No drugs, smoking ok. $400/mo. 21217. 410-523-1966 after 4pm

ROLAND PARK ISO cat-friendly NS. Near Rotunda & JHU Homewood. W/D, d/w, cable, 'net, hdwd flrs. $525/mo + 1 mo sec dep. 21210. 443-473-5300 ilibowitz@yahoo.com

S. BALTIMORE ISO senior citizen RM or mature, responsible person. $95/wk. 21225. Call between noon & 5 pm 410-350-0284

825

BALTIMORE CITY / COUNTY

ROOMS FOR RENT Share with responsible homeowners. $450/mo avg. Non-profit St. Ambrose 410-366-6180 BALTIMORE CITY

ROOM RENTAL W/D. $65 – 160/wk (incl Utils) + SD. 443-925-1299 BALTIMORE CITY

ROOMS FOR RENT Newly renov'd, drug-free only. Mgrs needed. $90-125/wk. 443-248-6661

CLIFTON PARK - 21214 PARK HEIGHTS - 21225

FINE ROOMS Friendly, co-ed, drug/smoke free. $400-$480. Kitch, cable, laundry. Furn/Unfurn. COUPLES $540-$600 Easy move in! 443-806-9324 FEDERAL HILL – 21230/21231

ROOMS FOR RENT Baltimore's historic Federal Hill & Fells Point areas. Utils inc. Dep req. Single occ only. $400-475/mo 1-888-506-2624 FULTON & BARCLAY - 21223

ROOMS 4 RENT Shared kitch & Ba. $385/mo +$160/SD. Call 301-379-2378 WEST BALTIMORE - 21216

W. COLD SPRING

ROOMS 4 RENT

West Cold Spring & Reisterstown area. Furn rm avail, would prefer F RM. Must be NS w/ job. No drugs, no kids, no couples, no pets. $125/wk + $250 sec dep. 21215. edwinpitt8@aol.com

Fully furnished, everything inc!!! Job req. $125/pw 202-905-7868

CITYPAPER. KAANGO.COM

WHAT A DEAL!!! 1 Car Garage. Roll-up door. Electric. Residential area. Private use only. $125/mo 443-465-2906

WEST BALTIMORE

LUXURY ROOMS CAC, w/w carpet, drug free, drama free. $100-150 per week, utils & cable incld. 410-814-7293 WEST BALTIMORE

LUXURY ROOM With private bathroom. CAC, w/w carpet, drug free, drama free. $200 per week, utils & cable incld. $440 moves you in! 410-302-9493

ROLAND PARK - 21210

WHAT A DEAL!!! 4 Car Garage. Roll-up door. Electric. Residential area. Private use only. $525/mo 443-465-2906

Loch Raven

Wellesley House Apartments

Westridge Apartments

Extremely convenient location Fully carpeted Available with washer dryer Huge kitchens 1000 square feet Fireplace available in select units

Mid-Rise Building Personal entry system Convenient location $0 security deposit* Studio $675

FREE RENT

410-444-7611 www.aptrent.com Open Daily 9-5, Sun 12-5 *to qualified applicants. Equal Housing Opportunity

RUXTON ROAD 1 Br, 1 Ba, in-law apt, on 2 acre lot. Private entrance on 2nd flr. A/C, w/w carpet. Small deck overlooking quiet woods & well-kept yard. $575/mo. Call 410-823-5730 Ask for Mrs. Fisher

"The City Paper has never let me down. I have always been successful in renting my house" – Ira Kolman

The Perfect Studio for you! • • • •

IMMEDIATE OCCUPANCY

*restrictions apply

From

284 Bloomsbury Avenue Baltimore, MD 21228

$1134/month

Call 410-744-7838

BALTIMORE CITY

N

ew, new, new! Be one of the ďŹ rst to live in these fully renovated apartments! Enjoy your brand new kitchen appliances while being surrounded with either new wall-to-wall carpeting or beautifully reďŹ nished hardwood oors. Our park setting is the perfect place to call home, close to everything, but tucked away from the busy roads. Stop in today to see our whole new look!

100 OFF

$

EACH MONTH'S RENT WHEN YOU MENTION THIS AD

FEBRUARY RENT FREE! FEATURES t /FX LJUDIFO BQQMJBODFT BOE garbage disposal t $IPPTF GSPN DBSQFUJOH PS reďŹ nished hardwood oors t -BVOESZ DFOUFST JO FBDI CVJMEJOH t $MPTF UP B HSFBU TIPQQJOH DFOUFS t 8BML UP QVCMJD USBOTQPSUBUJPO t /FX QMBZHSPVOE BOE CBTLFUCBMM courts nearby t 8BML UP TDIPPMT BOE DIVSDIFT t .JOJ CMJOET QSPWJEFE t IPVS NBJOUFOBODF

ALL VOUCHERS

ACCEPTED!

850

TOWSON AREA - 21214

CITY PAPER = RESULTS

PIMLICO AREA ISO RM to shr expenses near Sinai Hospital. Full use of hm, utils incl. 21215. Call Ashley at 410-400-2913 or email lgipson33@hotmail.com

APT. RENTAL (COUNTY)

TOWSON/RODGERS FORGE 21212

FLOORPLANS Two and three bedroom apartments starting as low as

$

700*

*with specials, inquire for details

DIRECTIONS: From the Baltimore Beltway, take Exit 3PVUF &BTU #BMUJNPSF /BUJPOBM 1JLF 5VSO left at Swann Ave. Make a right at Rokeby Rd. and turn left at Walnut Ave. Make a right at Seminole Ave. The property will be on your left.

OFFICE HOURS: Mon-Fri 9-4 SEMINOLE COURT 4FNJOPMF "WFOVF 4VJUF #BMUJNPSF .% citypaper.com

FEBRUARY

11,

2009

SEMINOLE COURT

Students/responsible ind, CAC, plenty of eateries, ctyd $125/wk & key charge. Nr MTA 410-814-4508 thehouseinfederalhill@gmail.com

HAMPDEN

city paper | 93


FOR RENT ALL AREAS

HOUSE/THS RENTAL (COUNTY) 852 CLASSIFIEDS UPDATED DAILY AT WWW.CITYPAPER.COM

MIDDLE RIVER

HUD HOMES! FROM $199/MO 4 Br, 2 Ba. Only $238/mo. More 1-4 Br's avail! For listings, call 1-800-585-3617 ext. T085

Single hse, waterfront, patio, $875 Locators 410-814-7222 sm fee

CATONSVILLE: Great single Hse, yd, patio, pets ok! $900's RIVER: 3 Br, 2 Ba, 2 sty, yd, hdwd flrs, no credit check $1150 ESSEX: 3 Br, 2 ba, 2 sty, air, bsmt, fncd yd, patio W/D $1000 HALETHORPE: 6 rms, 2 sty, patio, W/D, pets $900 HAMPSTEAD: 3 Br, 2 Ba, 2 sty hse, yd, W/D, pets ok! 2 car garage! MIDDLE RIVER: Single hse, waterfront! Patio, yd. $875 OWINGS MILLS: 3 Br, 2 Ba, 2 sty, f/bsmt, deck $1200's RANDALLSTOWN: 3 Br, 2 Ba, 2 sty, deck, air, W/D. $1100's

3 BR 2 Ba 2 sty, f/bsmt, deck $1200s Locators 410-814-7222 sm fee

LOCATORS

410-814-7222 MONEY BACK GUARANTEE! SMALL FEE 25 YEARS EXPERIENCE www.Locatorsonline.com NO CREDIT CHECKS ON MANY

LOCATORS

MAKE YOUR AD STAND OUT! Add your company's logo to your Classified Line ad! Call Nicole at 443-452-1522 for details

REISTERSTOWN AREA - 21155

4 BR HOUSE

6 rm 2 sty, W/D, pets ok, $900. Locators 410-814-7222 sm fee

$1200/m. On 1/2 Ac near Reist; Pool. Beautiful country views. 1 bath., 2 decks. Hdwd Flrs, ceil fans. 40' pool, 7' hot tub, 60' deck W/D, D/W. No dogs. 443-629-3865

HAMPSTEAD

RIVER

3 BR 2 Ba, 2 car garage! Pets ok! Locators 410-814-7222 sm fee

3 BR 2 Ba, no cred check, $1150. Locators 410-814-7222 sm fee

HALETHORPE

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94 | city paper

FEBRUARY

11, 2009

citypaper.com

BALTIMORE CITY

1, 2 & 3 BR APARTMENTS & HOUSES

CITY PAPER = RESULTS! Call Gemma at 443-452-1523 to place your ad today!

1712 Barclay 1 BR - 3rd Fl Apt. $540/mo + Utils. Avail NOW! Call Steve - 301-717-2494

317 E. North Ave. Baltimore 21202 M-F 8:30 am–5 pm Sat 10 am–2 pm 410-284-0900/410-284-0078(FAX) We now have 1 & 2 BR units avail Starting at $550/mo. ALL Qualified Applicants will receive 1st Month FREE or $50 OFF EVERY MONTH for the 1st year. ALL UNITS INCLUDE: Key Card Entrance Security in the building Gated Rear Parking W/W Carpet, D/W, Garbage Disposal, CAC, Electric Heat W/D on premises CALL TODAY – UNITS ARE GOING FAST

1 BR & DEN, 1 BA ASK ABOUT MOVE-IN SPECIALS Sec 8 OK. No Pets. $575/mo + Utils & SD. 443-320-0446

BELAIR-EDISON

2 LEVEL 2 BR Ground floor, newly removed. Powder room on main flr, 2 Br + upgraded full Ba. No pets/smoking. Refs req. $895/mo. 410-977-0200

BELVEDERE SQ 2+ BR duplex, utils pd! Pets, $800. Locators 410-814-7222 sm fee

REACH PROSPECTS PLANNING TO BUY! 22% of City Paper readers plan to buy a home in the next year. Call Gemma at 443-452-1523 to place your ad today!

Suburban Setting with City Convenience

$

NW SINAI HOSP 2861 Edgecombe Circle N. 2 Br, 1 Ba, CAC, hdwd flrs. From $600/mo. 410-415-5553

BALTIMORE CITY – 21223

RING IN THE NEW YEAR @ BOUNDARY SQUARE APTS

8CCJK8== '8EFI

Huge 1 & 2 BR Apartments From

BALTIMORE CITY - 21215

BALTIMORE CITY - 21202

MT. WASHINGTON/PIKESVILLE

cWp_d] Y^Wd][i ^Wl[ X[[d kdZ[hmWo" Wbb ie j^Wj m[ YWd Xh_d] oek W \WdjWij_Y d[m ^ec[$ <hec jef je Xejjec" Hei[cedj =WhZ[di ^Wi W m^eb[ d[m beea$ D[m YWhf[j" d[m a_jY^[d Wffb_WdY[i" WdZ Wbb d[m a_jY^[d WdZ XWj^heec Ă” eeh_d]1 `kij \eh oek 8[ ed[ e\ j^[ Ă“ hij d[m h[i_Z[dji je [nf[h_[dY[ j^[ Y^Wd][ Ijef _d jeZWo je i[[ _j \eh oekhi[b\

=<8KLI<J

410-814-7222 MONEY BACK GUARANTEE! SMALL FEE 25 YEARS EXPERIENCE www.Locatorsonline.com NO CREDIT CHECKS ON MANY

Available all over the City. Section 8 Approved. Starting at $600 + Utils + SD. 410-342-6287

IFJ<DFEK

=CFFIGC8EJ

AAA ALL AREAS

3 BR, 2 Ba, 2 sty, deck, air. $1100s. Locators 410-814-7222 sm fee

3 BR 2 Ba, air, bsmt, W/D, $1000. Locators 410-814-7222 sm fee

RANCHER 4 Br, 2 ½ Ba, LV, Fam Rm w/fireplace, Lg Kitch, W/D, Central Air, Elect heat, 2 car garage, $2500 APARTMENT 3 Br, Sitting Rm off each Br 3 Ba, Kitch, DR, All newly renov, hd wd flrs, new ba. W/D on premises $1800 all utils inc. 443-465-2906

RECENT REHAB

RANDALLSTOWN

ESSEX

PRIVATE ESTATE

BALTIMORE CITY - 21202

BELVEDERE SQ: 2 + Br, duplex, utils paid. Storg, pets ok $800 BUTCHERS HILL: Hse apt, air, hdwd flrs, 1st flr pets $500's CANTON: Conv hse apt, fpl W/D. No credit check. $700 CHARLES VILLAGE: Studio apt, Calvert St! Hdwd, pets $500 ST. PAUL ST: 1 Br, 1st flr, yd, hdwd flrs, high ceil Pets $750 FELLS POINT: 1 Br, Great location! W/D, appls just $550 MT VERNON: 1 Br, fee pd! W/D big kit, pets ok! $700

Great single hse, yd, patio, $900s. Locators 410-814-7222 sm fee

GREEN SPRING VALLEY/ OWINGS MILLS - 21117

855

OWINGS MILLS

CATONSVILLE AAA ALL AREAS

APT. RENTAL (CITY)

s &ULLY EQUIPPED SUNNY EAT IN KITCHENS s (UGE ROOMS WITH EXTRA CLOSET SPACE s !LL NEW ENERGY EFl CIENT APPLIANCES s HOUR EMERGENCY MAINTENANCE s 0RIVATE SWIMMING POOL s "EAUTIFULLY MANICURED GROUNDS COMMON AREAS s &REE AMPLE PARKING s 3MALL PETS ALLOWED

410.764.3899

BELVEDERE SQUARE – 21212

BEAUTIFUL 2 Br ,1 Ba, apt, CAC $850 - $875 Call 410-977-2065 / 443-392-7351 BOLTON HILL – 21217

REAL DEAL 1702 Bolton. Classy 1 BR + Den on big whole flr, DR + eat in K, mod bath, deck, W/D on prem, $1050 INCL HEAT + HW 410-323-1300

Essex

KINGS MILL APARTMENTS

$10 APPLICATION FEE!

• $0 security deposit* • Great location • Creative Kids Center on site 1BR $580 • 2BR $690

410-686-3333

www.aptrent.com *Certain restrictions apply. Equal Housing Opportunity


FOR RENT CHARLES VILLAGE

APT. RENTAL (CITY)

855

CLOSE TO JHU

BOLTON HILL

FABULOUS Victorian-style apt. Entire 2nd flr (950 sq ft). Wonderful amenities. Available now. $1075/mo. Call 410-440-6976 BUTCHERS HILL - 21231

CLOSE TO PARK! Bright Br apt in historic Butchers Hill community. One block from Patterson Park; close to Hopkins Medical bus route. Hdwd flrs, AC, W/D. $850/mo. Call 410-276-5480 BUTCHERS HILL - 21231

PRIVATE DECK $800/month. 2nd Fl,1 Br apt, 1 Ba, W/D, AC, Alarm & garage. Quiet street. Convenient to JHMU. Cat OK 410-336-9332 helnauxproperties@att.net

CHARLES VILLAGE - 21218

THE BALTIMOREAN APARTMENTS Furnished Studios starting at $785 Short and Long term leases. www.baltimoreanapartments.com For More Information Call 410-889-4157

Sunny 2 Br apt in quiet building. 4 blocks to JHU. Hdwd flrs, French doors, balcony. $999/mo, inclds heat. 410-889-1339

EVERY MONDAY AT NOON. CALL 410-523-3100 TO PLACE YOUR AD TODAY!

W/D IN UNIT!

CHARLES VILL Calvert St studio! Hdwd flrs, $500. Locators 410-814-7222 sm fee

DOWNTOWN/UMAB/BIOTECH 21201

ATTRACTIVE 1 BEDROOM

1 Br 700 sq ft, 1st flr, new cpt, exp brick, ctyd. Deal @ $695 + util Also, 2nd flr 1 Br 700 sq ft, avail mid Feb $640 + util. 410-255-2826

With w/w carpet, CAC, dishwasher, ceiling fan, breakfast bar, etc. $695/mo. Call 410-653-8192

CURTIS BAY - 21226 CHARLES VILLAGE CHARLES VILLAGE/ NEAR JHU - 21218

CHARLES VILL. APARTMENT Very Large 2 BR, 1st Flr. Hdwd, Dining Rm, W/D. $975/mo incl. Heat & Water. 410-321-0335 CHARLES VILLAGE

CLASSIFIED LINE DEADLINE:

CHARLES VILLAGE SOUTH 21218

NEAR UNION MEMORIAL Large 1 Br with balcony. $925/mo, inclds heat. 410-889-1339

4VCVSCBO $PNGPSU 4 JO UIF $JUZ

STUDIO, 1 & 2 BR Maryland Ave. $650 - $998/mo, some include utilities. Available now. Call 410-837-2430

â˜ş!READY NOW!â˜ş 1 Br. $625 per month! 1 Month Deposit. Includes heat and water! Ceiling Fans, w/w carpet. No Pets! Bus Line 64! Call 410-440-7710

QUIET BLOCK Newly renov,1 Br, 1 Ba w/new kitch & cpt. $600. 410-496-0393

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Fresh faces and new spaces. Spread out and enjoy the nature, community and everything else Mt. Washington has to offer! / ĂŠ "-/ĂŠ1 +1 ĂŠ * ,/ /-ĂŠ ĂŠ/ ĂŠ , t We offer a variety of discounts for seniors, police, teachers, and military.

-/1 "ĂŠfĂˆ{™ÊÊUĂŠĂŠ" ĂŠ ,ĂŠfnәÊÊUĂŠĂŠ/7"ĂŠ ,ĂŠfn{™

410-358-9343

MAKE YOUR AD STAND OUT!

EDMONDSON VILLAGE – 21216

www.marylandmanagement.com

Add your company's logo to your Classified Line ad! Call Nicole at 443-452-1522 for details

BUTCHERS HILL Hse apt, air, hdwd, pets, $500s. Locators 410-814-7222 sm fee

CANTON Conv hse apt, no cred chk, $700. Locators 410-814-7222 sm fee

CHARLES VILLAGE – 21218

AVAILABLE NOW! 115 W. 29th HUGE, Bright 1 BR, 1 BA. Hdwd Flrs, High ceilings, W/D, Large secure storage area. Walk –out to private Deck &Yard. 2 Blocks to JHU. Non-smoking. $850/mo (Heat incl) + SD. 301-801-1674 or jamie@langlie.com

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HUGE 2 OR 3 BR 2231 St. Paul opp Old Goucher/ Lovely Lane Church. 1900sf whole-floor, big rooms, 12' ceilings, HW, expose brick, 2 FP, mod Kitch & Bath, 120 yrs refurb CHARACTER , $1200 + Utils. 410-323-1300

"I found City Paper very effective‌ I received many phone calls and rented my place in 2 days!" – J.O., Apartment Advertiser, Federal Hill

-B 1MBUB "WFOVF Â… #BMUJNPSF .% #BMUJNPS PSF . .% SPMBOESJEHF DPN Â… SPMBOESJEHF!TNDNBJM DPN SPMBO PMBOESJEHF HF!TN NDNBJM DP

A Downtown location with Restaurants, Theater, Shopping, Businesses and Galleries all around. Columns and arches to thrill your eye and ceiling fans to create indoor summer breezes.

This place is NOT to be MISSED!

1 & 2 Br LOFT Apartments

$600 Off 1 year lease! U 36 Manhattan style loft apartments –8 different oor plans U Hardwood Floors U 14' to 16' Ceilings U 9' to 12' Windows U Decorative columns and arches in every unit

U Washer and Dryer in unit U Ceiling Fans U Pets allowed U Private Lobby and Gallery space U State-of-the-art Security U Concierge Available

300 North Charles Street, Baltimore, MD 21201

410-675-5500 Ask for Dian Combs citypaper.com

FEBRUARY

11,

2009

city paper | 95


FOR RENT Blue Star Realty Property Management

EDNOR GARDENS

BALCONY APT 2 Br, BIG closets, new Kit, new CAC/gas heat, hdwd flr. W/D prem., quiet bldg, great area, #3 & 36 bus line. $780 + utils, Appt. 410-323-1300

HOMES & APARTMENTS

FOR RENT

FEDERAL HILL - 21230

2 STORY, 2 BR 1207 S. Hanover St. CAC, Dishwasher, W/D, w/w carpet, off street parking available. $950/mo + Utils + SD. 410-685-6464

410-276-

STAR (7827)

CITYPAPER. 2601 MADISON AVE., BALTIMORE, MD 21217

RENAISSANCE PLAZA

KAANGO.COM t Wall to wall carpet in the bedrooms t Application fees waived for Hospital Workers and Government employees for January only.

FEDERAL HILL – 21230

5 BR, 1 ½ BA Hanover & West St. $1000/mo. No Sec 8 or Pets. 917-216-3059

W/W carpet, near bus stop. $710/mo. 800-518-9806

BRING IN THIS AD FOR APPLICATION FEE DISCOUNT

410-728-1114

N E W P E N T H O U S E A PA R TM E N T N OW AVA I L A B L E ! ! !

FEBRUARY

11, 2009

citypaper.com

NEWLY RENOV 1 & 2 Br Apt $625-700/mo Avail Now! 410-367-3233

729 S. BOND ST. LARGE 1 BR w/ DEN. 2 lvls Hdwd flrs, W/D, dishwasher, CAC, $1195/mo. 410-977-5540

FOREST PARK - 21216

1 & 2 BR APTS Available for immediate occupancy. Starting at $625/mo. Please call 410-466-2900

Recently updated 2 level 2 Br, 1 Ba, hdwd flrs, W/D, d/w, eat-in-kit, deck. $1250/mo + utils. 301-257-7329 FELLS POINT - 21231

1 Weekend in Ocean City FREE. The best view in Baltimore! 2 Br, w/ deck, CAC, W/D, bsmt for storage. 1830 East Pratt, between Wolfe & Ann. $1195/mo + utils Call Robert 443-277-6510

FORREST PARK/GWYNN OAKS 20705

FORREST PARK APARTMENTS Large Newly Rnvtd 1, 2 & 3 Br. Hardwood floors and Wall to Wall Carpet, Central Heat & AC, Laundry, Prkng. Starting at $675 Wilrose Realty Call 410-466-6060 HAMILTON – 21214

5013 EDGAR TERR FELLS POINT

RENOVATED Lg 1 Br + Den, W/D, hdwd flrs. $850/mo + sec dep. 410-276-1034

FELLS POINT, UPPER - 21231

1/2 BR APTS Near Hopkins. $720 - $820 Ht Included. 410-560-9002

CRÈME DE LA CREME Studio, hdwd flrs, Ceil fans, clean rehab, great cond. Large 2nd fl & rftop decks, both with beautiful city view, yard. Near shops, food and art. W/D. large Bsmnt & shed strge. $700. 443-629-3865 HAMPDEN

2 BR, 2ND FLOOR Fridge, stove. Ready now. $750/mo. 410-733-1115

ALICEANNA ST

FEDERAL HILL - 21230

LARGE 1 BR

FOREST PARK - 21205 GARRISON - 21216

FELLS POINT - 21231

VALENTINES SPECIAL

IT ALL STARTS WITH THE VIEW

96 | city paper

1 BR, great location! W/D, just $550. Locators 410-814-7222 sm fee

FELLS POINT - 21231

1 to 5 Bedroom Properties SECTION 8 WELCOME

1 Bedroom $752 2 Bedroom $850-904

HAMPDEN - 21211

FELLS POINT

1 Br, 1 Ba, 2nd flr apt boasts hdwd flrs, microwave, fenced in back yard, close to public transportation, quiet street. Includes utilities, $795. NO APPLICATION FEE. Call Ann 410-661-0909 x104

HAMPDEN/WYMAN PARK - 21211

1 & 2 BEDROOM APARTMENTS Wyman Court & Hickory Heights Apartments 2 Br, Upper Levels with Balcony. From $725 - $825/mo plus utilities; 1 Br, Wood Floors. $685/mo plus utilities. Call 410-764-7776 BrooksManagementCompany.com

IRVINGTON - 21229

307 COLLINS AVE 4 BR,2 BA w/ in-law suite -$1395 3 BR, 1 BA - $950 Hdwd Flrs, On-site W/D. SD req'd. M-F 12-5. 410-781-6069

HAMILTON/LAURAVILLE – 21214

JHU AREA – 21218

RENOVATED 1 BR

3012 REESE ST

New Carpet & Paint. CAC, W/D. Updated Kitch & Bath. $850/mo + Utils & SD. 443-604-4758

1 Br apts, nice amenities. No Dogs. Nr 30th/Loch Raven. From $768. Utilities included! 410-866-2870

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LITTLE ITALY - 21202

VERY, LARGE 1 BR LUXURY APT W/D, CAC & heat. High Speed Internet (incl. in rent). $1150/mo + SD. Call 443-413-5272

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LOCH RAVEN – 21234

1435 TAYLOR AVE 2nd floor – 2 Bedroom, 1 Bath – Apt in Great Location. Hardwood Floors in Living Room, New wallto-wall Carpet in Bedroom, Bright Eat-in-Kitchen with New Cabinets and New Ceramic Floor. Laundry room in Basement/Ample Storage Room. Plenty of Off Street Parking. $700 per month + $700 sec dep req. No Pets Allowed. Call Christine 410-207-4502


FOR RENT MOUNT VERNON - 21201

APT. RENTAL (CITY)

855

LOCHRAVEN/ COLDSPRING 21218

HAVE IT ALL AT MARBLE HALL!! Spacious Newly Renovated 1 & 2 Br Available. Convenient to Shopping, Public Transportation, Major Highways and Schools. Starting at $630 with Security Deposits as little as $99 Ask for details! Come By and See Why Marble Hall Gardens should be YOUR Next Home! Please Call 410-323-6124

1ST MONTH'S RENT FREE

MONUMENT PLACE APTS

Secure Building. 1 Br and Studio Apartments Available. Large. Laundromat on the 1st Floor. Desk Attendant 24 Hours per Day. Call 410-727-8360 MOUNT VERNON - 21201

1 Br Loft or flat w/ fireplace 630-805 sq ft $739 -$799. 2 Br, 2 Ba 816 - 913 sq ft $999 - $1059/mo. Central heat & air. Full appliances inc w/d, Tele entry system, w/w carpets, all elect units. Off street parking also avail. 410-625-0604

$595 - $1275/MO!!!

CLASSIFIEDS UPDATED DAILY AT WWW.CITYPAPER.COM

Studio, 1 Br, & 2 Br Available. Call 410-547-0414 www.mvpapartments.com

REACH CURRENT RENTERS! 33.7% of City Paper's readers currently rent an apartment. Call Emily at 443-452-1521, place your ad today!

MOUNT VERNON 1 BR, fee pd! W/D, big kit, $700. Locators 410-814-7222 sm fee

MOUNT VERNON - 21201

MOUNT VERNON - 21201

MOUNT VERNON - 21201

1 & 2 BEDROOM

HIST MT VERNON

Fabulous industrial & firehouse setting, loft-style apts. Original details, enormous windows, stained concrete flrs, multiple baths, decks, A/C, W/D, secure bldg, off st pkg. $700-$1600/mo. 410-685-8887

4 Br, 3Ba Hse $2200 2Br, 1 Ba, apt $1100 1 Br /den, renov $1050 Studio, renov $775 All with w/d, CAC, D/W & new appliances. 410-303-2928

@KP &@M@E> K #KJ <JK 1 BR’s starting @ $650

MOUNT VERNON – 21202

1600 ST PAUL ST. Great for commuters! 2 Br, 1 Ba. Opp Penn St, steps to JH shuttle. Great for Commuter prof, Uni students/employees. W/W cpt, Excellent location $1050/mo avail immediately. 443-695-4243

• W/W Carpet • Central Air • Garbage Disposal • Electric Range • Frost Free Refrigerator

LANDMARK APARTMENTS

CITY PAPER = RESULTS

628 N. Eutaw Street • Baltimore, MD 21201

"The City Paper has never let me down. I have always been successful in renting my house" – Ira Kolman

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(410) 383-9925

HOLLY LANE A PA RT M E N T S FREE HEAT!

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Income & Other Restrictions Apply*

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is now featuring a Newly Renovated Community!

FEATURES

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1 Br’s from $795 2 Br’s from $895 A Treasure in Cedonia!

%JSFDUJPOT 5BLF * UP .PSBWJB 3E FYJU .BLF B SJHIU UVSO BU (VOUIFS "WFOVF DPOUJOVF UP EFBE FOE BOE NBLF B SJHIU PO $SFOTIBX "WFOVF $PNNVOJUZ PO MFGU 'SPN #FMUXBZ FYJU BU #FM "JS 3PBE 3PVUF 4PVUI 5VSO MFGU PO .PSBWJB BOE MFGU PO (VOUIFS 1SPDFFE UP EFBE FOE BOE UVSO SJHIU

Holly Lane Apartments $SFOTIBX "WF t #BMUJNPSF .% Phone: (410)485-8180 Fax: (410)485-8181

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Clipper Mill Living. M?D:IEH 9EKHJ 7F7HJC;DJI Ahh, the peace and quiet of city life.

The Assembly Apartments at Clipper Mill are between Hampden & Woodberry, right next to the park. You’re also close to fun shops & restaurants, your favorite hangouts, Light Rail & I-83. Walk inside and you’d never know this place used to make large machinery (“Assembly,â€? get it?). Picture 2-story lofts with arched windows and lots of natural light. There’s a pool that ows through some stone ruins. And yes, even a stream running through the basement.

Every day you’ll wake up and realize how cool this place is. UÊ UÊ UÊ UÊ UÊ

1 & 2 bedroom lofts Large windows with wooded views Exposed brick Balconies on select units Washer/dryer

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Leasing by Wallace H. Campbell & Co., Inc.

www.assemblyapartments.com

443-324-8356

Community ďŹ re pit and hang spot Baltimore’s most unique community pool Verizon FiOs Service Available Green roof

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DIRECTIONS: From I-83, take the Cold Spring East exit (9A). Make a right onto Falls Rd. Make a right on Union Ave. Make a right on Clipper Rd., and a left on Clipper Park Rd

citypaper.com

FEBRUARY

11,

2009

city paper | 97


:EMDJEMD M7J;H<HEDJ HISTORIC LOFTS

are the new urban chic.

101 WELLS LIVE WELL HISTORIC CHARM MODERN AMENITIES. Federal Hill’s newest luxury apartment community with spacious floor plans featuring, refinished

Start from a historic loft-style apartment home as unmistakable as you are. -«>V ÕÃÊ ÌV i ÃÊUÊ-ÌÕ }ÊÛ iÜÃÊ vÊ` Ü Ì Ü Ê > Ì ÀiÊUÊ1 µÕiÊy ÀÊ« > ÃÊ UÊ VViÃÃÊÌ Ê > ÀÊ > Ì ÀiÊ>ÌÌÀ>VÌ ÃÊUÊ,iÌ> Ê> `ÊÀiÃÌ>ÕÀ> ÌÃÊ Ã ÌiÊ UÊ-Ì>Ìi v Ì i >ÀÌÊwÌ iÃÃÊVi ÌiÀÊUÊ Õà iÃÃÊVi ÌiÀÊUÊ,ià `i ÌÊ Õ }i

98 | city paper

hardwood floors, oversized windows, and new interior construcion. One bedrooms starting at $1,155 and Two bedrooms starting at $1,450. Reserve TODAY and receive ONE

Studios, 1 and 2-Bedroom Rentals from $905 a Month* nÊ °Ê Ü>À`Ê-Ì°ÊUÊ > Ì Ài]Ê ÊÓ£Óä£ ÜÜÜ° Û> i ÌiÀ« Ì°V ÊUÊnÈÈ°x {°Î£äÇ

*Call for details

MONTH FREE! 10 3 E A S T W E L L S S T – B A LT IMOR E, MD 2 12 3 0 4 4 3 - 9 2 7- 6 6 8 3 P M C P r oper t y Gr oup

THE GREENEHOUSE WHERE LUXURY AND CONVENIENCE MEET The Greenehouse features unique residences with historic character such as exposed brick walls, refinished hardwood floors, granite counters, stainless steel appliances, large windows, and dramatically high ceilings. One bedrooms starting at $1,200 and Two bedrooms starting at $1,600. For a limited time, reserve an apartment and receive 2 months FREE. 519 W. PR AT T ST REE T, BA LT IMORE, MD 2 120 1 4 4 3-9 2 7- 6 6 8 3 PMC Pr oper t y Gr oup w w w.GR E E NE HOUS E B A LT IMOR E.com

FEBRUARY

11, 2009

citypaper.com


:EMDJEMD M7J;H<HEDJ BRINGING CITY LIFE TO YOUR FRONT D OOR Stylish Apartment Homes

THINK BIG…

On The New West Side BIG VIEWS

BIG LUXURY

BIG APARTMENTS

No monthly pet rent!

CAMDEN COURTS

THE CRESCENT AT FELLS POINT

CAMDENCOURTAPTS.COM

Ultimate Urban Waterfront Address 951 Fell Street • Baltimore, Maryland 21231 |

Mon.-Fri. 8am-5pm, Sat. 9am-5pm Sun. closed

*Pricing & specials subject to change

N O W

I S N ’ T

Mention this ad & recieve $1000 off on 1st visit!

Pet Friendly*

*Breed restrictions do apply

410-244-7240

LUXU RY

CITY PAPER READERS:

CrescentFellsPoint.com

P 410.534.VIEW

L E A S I N G

T H I S G R A N D

F O R

E V E R Y O N E

A complimentary chauffeur-driven limousine. A dramatic skylounge. 24-hour concierge services to make your busy life easier. Are you ready for a life of unparalleled convenience and cosmopolitan services? At 39 West Lexington, your expectations will be exceeded. You’ll know you’ve arrived—from the moment you enter the grand lobby. Visit us today to be among the select few who will be able to call this Baltimore landmark home.

LUXURY RENTAL APARTMENTS | STUDIO | 1-BEDROOM | 2-BEDROOM | PENTHOUSE | 2-LEVEL PENTHOUSE

39 WEST LEXINGTON STREET, BALTIMORE, MD 21201 FOR MORE INFORMATION, OR TO SCHEDULE AN APPOINTMENT, CALL 888.512.2864. 39WESTLEX.COM

citypaper.com

FEBRUARY

11,

2009

city paper | 99


MOUNT WASHINGTON – 21209

APT. RENTAL (CITY)

855

MOUNT VERNON – 21202

ST. PAUL & CHASE ST Apartments starting at $650. Call Ann 410-661-0909 x 104 MOUNT VERNON – 21202

MOUNT WASHINGTON PARK APTS Very spacious 2 Br, 1 ½ Ba. Refinished wood floors. Mid-level, secured building. Central air, dishwasher. $850/mo + utilities. 410-764-7776 BrooksManagementCompany.com

UTILITIES PAID BY OWNER St. Paul & Preston. Large 2 Br or used as 1 Br with home office suite; 1 Ba; Hardwood floors; Lg closet space; excellent for students. Utilities paid by owner except cable & phone. Very close to Amtrak, Symphony, UB, Peabody & restaurants. $800/mo or $950/mo with parking space. Call 617-901-6889 or email William-doyle@hotmail.com

MOUNT WASHINGTON - 21209

RENOVATED MANSION Quaint 2 level 2 Br, 2 Ba. Wood floors, Central Air, dishwasher, lots of natural light. $950/mo + utilities. Call 410-764-7776 brooksmanagementcompany.com MOUNT WASHINGTON / CHESWOLDE - 21209

MOUNT VERNON

2 BEDROOM APT 1 Ba, CAC, w/w carpet, W/D, exposed brick, intercom door buzzer. $800/mo + utils + sec dep Call 410-752-7794 MOUNT VERNON

706 PARK AVENUE 1st floor. Spacious 2 Br, 2 Ba. Hdwd flrs, lots of closets, private yard. $1100/mo + utils. Available March 1st. 410-547-8396

RENOVATED 1 & 2 BEDROOM APARTMENTS FREE RENT UNTIL MARCH 1ST! 2 Br with updated kitchen and bathroom, Hardwood floors & Balcony. $875/mo + utilities. Available now; 1 Br. $775/mo + utilities. Call 410-764-7776 brooksmanagementcompany.com

MT VERNON-21201 1 Br's From $695 & 2 Br's From $795/mo Heat & Hot water included! W/D in bldg. No section 8. 410-322-0562 Patrick.tyler@hotmail.com

NEW ARTS DISTRICT – 21218

UPPER PARK HEIGHTS / PIKESVILLE - 21208

NEW REHAB

2 BR APTS 907 St Paul -$1300/mo(incl utils) 922 St Paul- $850/mo + Utils Renov't Kitchen, Updated Bath, Fire Place, Hdwd Floors, W/D. Call 410-547-6623

MT VERNON-21201 700 Park Ave – 1 blk from Wash Monument. Historic mid-rise. 2 Br, 1 Ba. $895/mo Carriage House. $695/mo Secure apt bldng w/ laundry. No pets. Call 410-383-8815

7211 Park Heights Avenue

1, 2 & 4 BR 3801 Oakford & 5032 Denmore. CAC, lead free. 1 blk from Callaway School. $675/mo. 410-800-5005 iemh43@hotmail.com

1 BR APT ONE MONTH FREE

RESERVOIR HILL

LARGE 1 BR W/W, near bus stop. Vouchers OK. $585/mo. 800-518-9806

3203 MARY AVE 1BR/1BA 2nd FL apt, hdwd flrs, gas stove,W/D,yd,conv pkg, bus,hosp, coll $850/mo+utils. 301-808-2064 babbots@verizon.net

ASK ABOUT OUR PREMIER APARTMENTS*

s "ALCONY OR PATIO s 7ALL TO WALL CARPETING MINI BLINDS s 3WIMMING POOL TENNIS s &ITNESS CENTER s %NERGY EFlCIENT WINDOWS s #OMMUNITY HALL s ,AUNDRY CENTER s 0ET FRIENDLY

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Minutes from Pikesville, Whole Foods, Kelly Ave Shopping, The Atrium, JFX, Beltway, Light Rail & Downtown Come See our Model! Open M-F 9-5/ Weekends 11-4 {£äÂ‡Ă‡Ăˆ{‡äxäĂŽĂŠUĂŠwww.fallsvillageapts.com

11, 2009

410-814-7222 MONEY BACK GUARANTEE! SMALL FEE 25 YEARS EXPERIENCE www.Locatorsonline.com NO CREDIT CHECKS ON MANY

ROWHOUSE

RESERVOIR HILL

Newly remodeled 2 Br. Modern kitch & Ba, central HVAC, hdwd flrs. No smoking/pets. Refs req. $975/mo. 410-977-0200

Studio's & 1 Br's: $450-$650/mo. 21217 443-904-9309

857

RENT TO OWN!

ROLAND PARK - 21210

Prime locations in S.E. Balt. For W-2 employed buyers, mortgage prequalifications avail. 240-274-1061

TUDOR STYLE APT 2 Br, 1 Ba. LR with Fireplace, DR, Kitchen, Sun porch, W/D on premises, Hot air heat & CAC. Street Parking. $1400/mo. 443-465-2906

2APTS AVAILABLE 4th floor walk-up Studio apt with Ba, Kitchen, AC, hot air heat w/w carpeting, permit pkg, & W/D on premises $900/mo. 443-465-2906 Ground level Apt Studio Ba, Kitch area LR/Br combines, Full cpt permit pkg, W/D on premises. $850/mo. 443-465-2906

ith Warm U p W

ALL AREAS

CANTON – 21224 BALTIMORE CITY - 21223

LOFT STYLE CONDO 1 BR, 1 ½ BA loft style condo located at the shipyard. 2639 Boston Street. Located on the waterside of Boston street! This condo is within walking distance to Everything: Canton, Fells Point, downtown Baltimore, Walk to grocery store, Blockbuster, Starbucks, Merritt Athletic Club. Price includes Water & gated parking. Pets OK. $1300/mo. Avail immediately! Call Anne Marie 813-892-0038

2513 W. LOMBARD Gorgeous, Newly Renovated 3 Br, 1 Ba. All New Ceramic Kitch with New Cabinets & Appls. All New Bathroom. $30 app fee. Section 8 Welcome! Call 410-963-5570

BALTIMORE CITY

EXCEL PROPERTY 412 22nd, 5BR $1400 - 21218 931 Ellicott, 2 BR $1000 – 21216 Other Properties Available! Call 443-255-9465

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Professionally Managed by

FEBRUARY

BELVEDERE SQ: 3 Br, just redone! Appls, pets ok! $800 BREWERS HILL: 7 rms, 2 Ba, lrg kit, hdwd, pets $1300 BUTCHERS HILL: 3 Br bi-level. hdwd, W/D big kit CANTON: 3 Br, 2 Ba, 2 sty, 2 roof decks! Great view! Pets $1200 CHARLES VILLAGE: 4 Br, 2 Ba, 2 brick sty, fpl, utils pd! FEDERAL HILL: 7 rms, fee pa! W/D. No credit check! $1200 FELLS POINT: 3 Br, 2 Sty; yd, den, parks! W/D $1100

LOCATORS

ROLAND PARK/ JHU - 21210

100 | city paper

3008 Clifton Av Quiet block, $500/m ONE MONTH FREE. 443-677-1995 charla.davis@yahoo.com

CONDO RENTAL (CITY) NE BALTIMORE CITY – 21214

AAA ALL AREAS

WAVERLY

MT. WASHINGTON

s 'ATED ACCESS TO THE COMMUNITY s "EAUTIFUL LANDSCAPED GROUNDS s #ONTEMPORARY KITCHENS WITH WASHER DRYER MICROWAVE s 7ARM GAS HEAT AIR CONDITIONING s #ABLE 46 HIGH SPEED )NTERNET AVAILABLE

1 Br, elevator building. $875/mo. Inclds all utils except electric 2 Br, 2 Ba. $1300/mo. Call 410-764-7776 BrooksManagementCompany.com WALBROOK – 21216

MT VERNON-21202 Sunny, very large 1 Br in an old & elegant downtown mansion. Hdwd flrs, 3 ceil fans, DR, walk in closet, laundry in bldg. No pets. $795/mo, includes heat & hot water. Don 410-448-3630

Clarks Lane Apartments FIRST MONTH FREE SPECIAL! Spacious 2 Br, 2 Ba with large balcony. $1025/mo + utilities.

NORTHWEST BALT - 21215 MT. VERNON – 21201

HOUSE/THS RENTAL (CITY) 865

1 & 2 BEDROOM APARTMENTS

1 Br. Sec system, off st p'king, on bus line. Avail now! $850/mo. No smoking. 240-475-4466

citypaper.com

-ĂŒĂŠUĂŠ >Â?ĂŒÂˆÂ“ÂœĂ€


HOUSE/THS RENTAL (CITY) 865 BALTIMORE CITY

SECTION 8 OK! 1, 2, 3 & 4 Bedroom homes Available Immediately. For a complete list go to www.TotalMgmtLLC.com 443-794-6286

BELVEDERE SQ

CHARLES VILL 4 BR 2 Ba 2 sty, brick, fpl, utils pd! Locators 410-814-7222 sm fee DOWNTOWN / UMAB/ RIDGELY'S DELIGHT- 21230

WALK TO UMAB DOWNTOWN Super attractive 4 Br, 2 ½ Ba w/ hdwd flrs, CAC, d/w, ceiling fans, W/D, off st parking, etc. $1795/mo. 410-653-8192

3 BR, just redone! Pets ok, $800. Locators 410-814-7222 sm fee

BREWERS HILL 7 rms, 2 Bas, lrg kit, hdwd, $1300. Locators 410-814-7222 sm fee BROOKLYN - 21225

AVAILABLE NOW 2 Br, f/bsmt $850 Section 8 OK! Call 301-379-2378

BUTCHERS HILL - 21231

1 MO FREE RENT! 2 Br, 1.5 Ba completely rehabbed TH. New appliances and carpet. W/D hook-up. 118 S Durham St. Close to Fells Point. $1325/mo. 410-971-6733 / 410-647-2222

BUTCHERS HILL

SEVERAL HOMES AVAILABLE 2-4 Br apts/townhouses available immediately. $900 -$2200/mo + utils, MBQ & Section 8 OK. Trust Realty, Bernard 240-460-3247

CANTON - 21224

CANTON 1, 2, & 3 bedroom town homes and apartments available in desired locations in and around Baltimore. Rents begin at $700/mo to $3000/mo. Seasonal Specials Available & Pets ok'd w/add'l fee. Call 410-342-2205 or visit www.cantonmanagement.com

2 Br, 1 Ba, w/w carpet, CAC, W/D, d/w. $820/mo + utils. Available now. Call 443-803-4800 Pics at eamre.com

FEDERAL HILL – 21230

HIGHLANDTOWN

HUD HOMES! FROM $199/MO 4 Br, 2 Ba. Only $238/mo. More 1-4 Br's avail! For listings, call 1-800-585-3617 ext. B046

INNER HARBOR/UMAB - 21202

LUXURY TH

3 BIG BR(perfect for roommates) + Den, 2 Full BA. Totally renov't end unit w/ tons of windows & natural light, pkg, rftp deck, Hdwd flrs, exp brick, granite, SS app, a breakfast bar & tons of cabinet space in the kit. W/D 1 blk Riverside Park! $2100/mo 443-255-7392

3 Br, 2 Ba. Newly Rnvtd. Dramatic Interior, CAC, W/D, d/w, hdwd flrs, FP, yard, 3rd flr deck with city view. Close to Harbor. Pets negotiable. $1350/mo. Call 410-560-2838

PRICE REDUCED!! 3 BR, 1.5 BA Rowhouse at Fort Ave & Henry. CAC, Dishwasher, W/D, Hdwd Flrs throughout, Grass in private fenced in yard, close to I-95 & Riverside park. Ample Free parking. Available NOW! Pets OK! $1300/mo + SD. Call 410-627-0669

FEDERAL HILL 7 rms, fee pd! No cred chk $1200. Locators 410-814-7222 sm fee FEDERAL HILL AREA - 21230

JACKSON STREET Newly renovated 2 Br, 1 Ba, CAC, deck with Harbor view. $1095/mo. Call 410-685-2266

CANTON 3 BR 2 Ba 2 sty, 2 roofdecks, $1200. Locators 410-814-7222 sm fee

PERFECT Very nice 2 BR, 1 ½ BA. 2222 Bank St. Rooftop deck, CAC, W/D, DW, Hdwd Flrs, Exposed Brick. Fenced Backyard, Pets OK. $950/mo + Utils. No Sec 8. Avail Now! Call Mark 410-893-5145

3 BEDROOM, 1 BATH RENTALS! 3 Br, 1 Ba recently redone TH clean, fresh paint! 818 N Montford $895/mo 721 N. Streeper $850/mo Accepting Section 8 Vouchers. 410-971-6733 OR 410-971-7323 JOHNS HOPKINS AREA – 21205

OCEAN CITY, MD - 21842

OCEANFRONT CONDO

DEEP CREEK, MD

1,2,3,4 BR HOMES Programs welcome 301-502-8276

The beach isn't just for a summer getaway! This completely renovated 2 Bedroom, 2 Bath Oceanfront Condo has it all. Indoor heated pool, game room, steps from the beach. For more info, visit cbvacations.com or call 1-877-220-3788 and ask about GOLDEN SANDS UNIT #2113

21520 - Adorable cedar-sided cabin provides front row seats for your mountain entertainment. This 3 Br, 3 Ba home has all the country charm that you will need for your getaway. For more information, visit www.deepcreek.com or call 1-800-846-RENT and ask about LANDMARK VILLAGE #1

WEST BALTIMORE CLASSIFIEDS UPDATED DAILY AT WWW.CITYPAPER.COM

1926 HARLEM AVE 4 Br, 1.5 Ba, Updated, W/D, refrig & range. Wooden flrs. Avail Now!!. $1500/mo.

3 Br, 1 Ba, Updated and Clean. W/D, range, refig. $900/mo Vouchers Accepted. No Pets Call 410-592-6002

COMMERCIAL SPACE RENTAL 875

STORE FRONT/ OFFICE SPACES/ RESIDENTIAL $400-$1500 443-257-6590 FELLS POINT - 21231

DEEP CREEK, MD - 21520

Cockeysville

BREATH-TAKING MOUNTAIN RETREAT

LAKECREST

AP ARTMENTS PA

410-628-1777

With upscale decor in this 3 Bedroom, 3 Bath home. Fantastic views and minutes from the ski slopes. For more information, visit www.deepcreek.com or call 1-800-846-RENT and ask about OVERLOOK VILLA #1B.

www.aptrent.com

1BR $640 2BR $730

Fully rehabbed townhse. 4 Br, 1 ½ Ba, fin bsmt. $1200/mo. Sec 8 OK. Call 410-812-7282 LAKELAND AREA – 21230

HURON STREET 3 Br, 1 Ba end of group with hdwd flrs, yard. $900/mo. 443-676-0959

PATTERSON PARK - 21224

GREAT BLOCK 3 Br. $1495 + utils/sec. Inc Water! Charming & spacious, steps to the park! Newly renov, w/d. No sec 8, pets ok 443-691-9601 Windsor@cablespeed.com

3 BR 2 sty, den, yd, parks! $1100. Locators 410-814-7222 sm fee REMINGTON – 21211

RENT TO OWN

RECENT REHAB

BILLIE HOLIDAY'S CHILDHOOD HOME–HISTORICAL LANDMARK Newly renovated 3 Br, 1 ½ Ba. Gourmet kitch, bamboo flrs, video intercom, energy efficient. Walk to Harbor, Whole Foods, Patt Park, JHH & I-95. 202-607-4377 or visit http://www.fellspoint.us/

2635 Miles Ave. 2 BR, 1 BA. D/W, garbage disposal, fridge & micro. Sec 8 OK. Call Gary 410-879-2212

SAINT PAUL ST 1 BR 1st flr, yd, high ceils! $750. Locators 410-814-7222 sm fee

www.citypaper.com UPDATED DAILY

EQUAL HOUSING OPPORTUNITY

±1R@@O±"@<G±AJM±TJP±<I?±TJPM±I@R±CJH@

2012 FLEET ST

FREE RENT

Retail/Office Space w/ Conference rm, reception area & 34'x20' add'l office space. 2 rear pkg spaces incld. $1999/mo + utils. 301-257-7329

Save $100/mo

on your lease*

(If move-in by Feb15th)

2602 E MONUMENT

FELLS POINT FELLS POINT

880

BEL AIR RD JHH AREA - 21205

FEDERAL HILL - 21230

VACATION RENTALS

2 Br 1 Ba, Renovated hse. Excellent location. $750/mo Call Sydney 410-925-3450

Recently Rehabbed. W/D, CAC, b/yd. $1200/mo + s.d. 240-274-1061

FELLS POINT – 21231

2 BR, 2 ½ BA Townhouse. Hdwd floors, W/W Carpet in the bedrooms. Updated appliances, W/D, Dishwasher, Finished den with Second kitchen/full bath/separate entrance. Parking pad in rear, Rooftop Deck. Within walking distance to Merritt Athletic club, Safeway, Marina, Restaurants etc. $1300/mo w/ 1 year lease. 1st & Last month's rent + SD upon signing. Pet Deposit Req'd for pets. Utilities not included. No Sec 8! Call Anne Marie at 813-892-0038

631 WYETH ST

WEST BALTIMORE

½ OFF SEC DEP!!

CANTON - 21224

CLOSE TO SQUARE WITH PARKING

WASHINGTON VILLAGE - 21230

1131 POPLAR GROVE ST

BUY FORECLOSURES & REPOS!

Must see! Only 5% down, 15 yrs @ 8%! For listings, 1-800-585-3617 ext. 1354

300 BLOCK CONKLING ST

3 BR 1 BA EAST/WEST BALTIMORE

3 BR bi-level, W/D, big kit, $1100. Locators 410-814-7222 sm fee

4 BED, 2 BA! $29,900

HIGHLANDTOWN

HIGHLANDTOWN – 21224

COMMERCIAL FRONT FOR RENT 1500 sq ft. Pratt & Eaton St corner location. Multiple usage. Avail imm. Suitable for Daycare/retail/food outlet/ small church etc. $1100/mo. Call 410-808-6660 or citylivingprop@aol.com

*Certain restrictions apply

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Call For Directions…

410-281-0075

GET RESULTS ADVERTISE YOUR RENTAL PROPERTY WITH CITY PAPER Our rental section is fast and effective. First-Time advertisers we’re so confident we’ll get your place rented, we’ll give you a FREE WEEK to prove it! That’s right, buy 4 weeks & your 5th week is free - if you need it.* For more information, or to take advantage of our special, call 410-523-3100 or e-mail ajensen@ citypaper.com *Introductory special applies only to new advertisers or customers who have not advertised in at least one year.

citypaper.com

FEBRUARY

11,

2009

city paper | 101


OPEN SUNDAY STATION NORTH 1714 GUILFORD AVE FEBRUARY 8TH AND 15TH FROM 12-3

*62C49:?8 7@C E96 A6C764E

C:3

3 bed, 2.5 bath, Everything NEW, 3 full levels, High-end finishes, Rooftop deck, Parking Attn: Johns Hopkins Employees – Live Near Your Work $17K Closing Help Available!

(*/"/&& Michael Schiff 410.404.8836 410.583.0400 www.Michael J Schiff.com

Station North – Arts & Entertainment Special Tax District for Artist! Michael Dicea Mortgage Consultant 410-354-8723 - office 443-610-3564 - cell

3% AGENTS CO/OP COMMISSION

IF;9?7B <?D7D9?D= 7L7?B78B;

CITYPAPER.KAANGO.COM

BA LT I M O R E C I T Y

T H U R S DAY, F E B R UA RY 1 9 T H @ 1 2 P M 1109 Harlem Ave, Baltimore, MD 21217 3 Story home with +/- 3075 sq ft that is ready to be finished, walk-out bsmt. can be finished as separate living area, property only +/- 1.5 blocks to Lafayette Park. Stacey Ingerson 410-916-1217 TERMS: Deposit: $1,000 due at time of sale. Cash or certified funds. 30-day settle. 10% BP. Broker co-op invited. Visit website for additional terms & conditions. *Sale on Premises.

W W W . A U C T I O N B R O K E R S . N E T

H;7B ;IJ7J; OPEN HOUSES

P U BL I C R E A L E S TAT E A U C T I O N

#1 IN REAL ESTATE MARKETING

410-426-2622

A Charles Parrish Company

DON’T MISS THIS! Rehabbed from Top to Bottom! 2 Br, 3 Ba, Full bsmt. $289,900 316 S Robinson St. 410-687-3252 443-248-2441 / 410-458-4538

900

HOMES FOR $30,000 Buy foreclosures! Must sell now! 1-4 bedrooms. For listings, call 1-800-903-7136 (AAN CAN)

REAL ESTATE SERVICES 904

SELL YOUR HOUSE TODAY Best price guaranteed! winklerinvestorgroup.com 410-982-1413

MAKE YOUR AD STAND OUT! Add your company's logo to your Classified Line ad! Call Nicole at 443-452-1522 for details "Please cancel my ad! You (City Paper) did it again! I rented my apartment in just one week!" – J.D., Apartment Advertiser

Located Midway Between Baltimore & D.C., Off Of Arundel Mills Blvd. Within 1 Mile Of Rt. 100 & I-295

The Most Sought-After Anne Arundel County Location Within Walking Distance Of Shopping, Dining And Entertainment. From The $250’s. There’s so much to love about Stoney Run. This meticulously planned community welcomes you with majestic stone entry monuments, stately gazebos, upscale landscaping, acres of open space and hiking/biking trails that connect to the neighboring retail center. Imagine a leisurely walk through the neighborhood to get a cup of coffee at Starbucks, pick up some groceries for dinner, or meet a friend for dinner and a drink. Choose from stunning condominiums and townhome condominiums, all of which feature open, airy designs, spacious bedrooms and an enviable, low-maintenance lifestyle. Although nestled in a peaceful enclave, major commuter routes are nearby, putting Columbia, Baltimore and Washington, D.C. within easy reach. This desirable location is easily the best in Anne Arundel County – at an exceptionally affordable price.

102 | city paper

$5,000 TOWARD CLOSING COSTS & 2 YEARS OF CONDOMINIUM FEES INCLUDED!*

The Matisse/Picasso from $284,990

The Hampton Court from $255,990

• 1 level living • 2 bedrooms • 2 bathrooms • Up to 1,380 sq. ft. • Moen® faucet fixtures • Timberlake® kitchen cabinetry • G.E.® appliances

• 2 levels • 3 bedrooms • 2.5 baths • 1-car garage • Up to 2,641 sq. ft. • Moen® faucet fixtures • Timberlake® kitchen cabinetry • G.E.® appliances • Roman shower

Stoney Run

Directions: Take Rt. 100 to the Arundel Mills Blvd. exit. Proceed south on Arundel Mills Blvd. toward the mall. Left on Ridge Rd. Right on Watts Rd. Information Center on left.

Phone: (877) 402-4668 Hours: Mon. 2-7, Tues.- Fri. 10-6, Sat. & Sun. 11-6 *Limited time offer. Must use NVR Mortgage to receive either incentive. Certain restrictions may apply. Prior sales excluded. Prices, financing, and other offers subject to change without notice. Prior sales excluded. See a sales representative for details. Sales in Maryland by NVR Services, Inc. (410) 750-9050. Broker #66698. MHBR No. 56

ryanhomes.com FEBRUARY

11, 2009

citypaper.com

930

HIGHLANDTOWN - 21224

/&&#///

Place your roommate ad for free. Email rfarley@citypaper.com

5 year Rehab Tax credit - Save Hundreds of $$ Monthly!

REAL ESTATE (CITY)


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%XPERIENCEĂ&#x;AFFORDABLEĂ&#x;GREENĂ&#x; LIVINGĂ&#x;INĂ&#x;ONEĂ&#x;OFĂ&#x;EIGHTĂ&#x;BRANDĂ&#x;NEWĂ&#x; TOWNHOMESĂ&#x;ATĂ&#x;"ROOKLYNĂ&#x;'REEN Ă&#x; 4HESEĂ&#x;THREE BEDROOM Ă&#x;TWO STORYĂ&#x;HOMESĂ&#x;FEATUREĂ&#x;INNOVATIVEĂ&#x; GREENĂ&#x;TECHNOLOGYĂ&#x;DESIGNEDĂ&#x; TOĂ&#x;SAVEĂ&#x;THEĂ&#x;OWNERĂ&#x;INĂ&#x;ENERGYĂ&#x; COSTSĂ&#x;WHILEĂ&#x;HELPINGĂ&#x;PROTECTĂ&#x;THEĂ&#x; ENVIRONMENT "ROOKLYNĂ&#x;'REENĂ&#x;ISĂ&#x;LESSĂ&#x;THANĂ&#x; TENĂ&#x;MINUTESĂ&#x;FROMĂ&#x;DOWNTOWNĂ&#x; "ALTIMORE Ă&#x;CONVENIENTLYĂ&#x;LOCATEDĂ&#x; TOĂ&#x; Ă&#x;ANDĂ&#x; Ă&#x;ANDĂ&#x;WITHINĂ&#x; WALKINGĂ&#x;DISTANCEĂ&#x;OFĂ&#x;LARGEĂ&#x;PARKSĂ&#x; WITHĂ&#x;GREATĂ&#x;WATERĂ&#x;VIEWS

QUESTIONS? Call 443.452.1520 and ask for Rob Farley

It’s FREE!

#ALLĂ&#x;+EVINĂ&#x;!NSELMIĂ&#x;OFĂ&#x; #ORNERSTONEĂ&#x;2EALĂ&#x;%STATEĂ&#x;Ă&#x; ATĂ&#x; Ă&#x;Ă&#x;OR VISITĂ&#x;USĂ&#x;ATĂ&#x;Ă&#x;WWW BAYBROOK NET

$254,000

$219,000

(Y21209STE) 2506 STEELE RD - 3 BR stone cottage on pretty lot w/ mature trees. Stone ďŹ replace, CAC, wd rs, deck. # BA6963574 SUE GOULD 410-823-2323

(Y21211W35) 834 35TH ST. - Reduced! 3 BR 1/1 Ba THS! Updates & custom built-ins galore! CAC! 9 ft ceilings! # BA6789371 TEMPLE PEIRCE 410-823-2323 / 410-960-8035

HOMELAND SOUTHWAY

ROLAND PARK

$132,000

$90,000

(Y21212HOM) 351 HOMELAND SOUTHWAY #1A Terrace level condo, 2 BR newly renovated, facing courtyard. Wd rs, 1.5 Bas, spotless & ready. # BA6518500 SUE GOULD 410-823-2323

(Y21210ROL) 4401 ROLAND AVE #308 - 1 BR 1 Ba corner condo priced below market. Large rms, parquet rs, good parking. # BA6875776 TEMPLE PEIRCE 410-823-2323 / 410-960-8035

50840/ t

OPEN HOUSE PAGE

to help you with your home search.

AGENTS or FSBO’sInterested in posting your open house? Why not? Send the info to: Rfarley@citypaper.com

PLEASE INCLUDE:

t PG #FESPPNT BOE #BUIT t 1SJDF t %BUF

HAMPDEN

3TARTINGĂ&#x;ATĂ&#x; Ă&#x;-USTĂ&#x;MEETĂ&#x; INCOMEĂ&#x;QUALI½CATIONS

City Paper now has an

Click through to our real estate section as well to view the most current listings

MT. WASHINGTON

t %FTDSJQUJPO t "EESFTT t 1IPUP

$249,900

412 S. WASHINGTON Wider than most Fells Point homes. This 14’ wide 2 Br, 2 full Ba is the perfect starter house. Functional basement (possibly a 3rd Br, w/full Ba & Laundry. Renovated in 2006 with/rear addition adding a separate dining room & larger 2nd Br. Hardwood oors throughout, open kitchen, perfect for entertaining. Option to sublease parking. Listing agent: Julie Gochar

$250,000

3700 REISTERSTOWN ROAD Immaculately clean and deceptively large home. 7 Br’s, 4 Ba’s Currently offers 4 apartments. Separately metered and zoned. Currently leased, with good paying tenants. Enjoy the fenced lovely lawn, on the large porch front. Own, or own and operate this investment property. Shows very well. Buyer to provide ďŹ nancials. Listing agent: Heather Powell

WWW.CITYPAPER.COM/OPENHOUSE

OBSIDIAN REALTY

$399,900

1108 ARGONNE DR. Historic charm and modern convenience. Original hardwood oors, wide staircase w/banister, moldings & trim were meticulously restored. Tons of natural light with original tile work. Entertain in the renovated Kitchen w/landscaped outdoor patio or recline in the den with a rolling ďŹ re. Listing agent: Julie Gochar

1816 Aliceanna Street Baltimore, MD 21231 OfďŹ ce: 410-243-7520 Fax: 410-522-4401

For more information, contact Heather Powell 443-449-1310 Heatherpowell@ obsidianrealty.com

$629,000

2140 E. BALTIMORE ST. *TAX CREDIT UNTIL 2016— $1126 Beautiful 4 Br, 2 full Ba, 2 half Ba in Historic Butcher’s Hill home. Possible rear parking. 12+ foot ceilings on every level. Finished LL /living room w/gas ďŹ replace. Fire place (gas), dining room, ½ bath on main level, large chef kitchen w/Granite counter tops and all stainless steel appliances. TREX deck w/360 views of city and water. Listing agent: Julie Gochar

www.obsidianrealty.com citypaper.com

FEBRUARY

11,

2009

city paper | 103


0AJAMA "RUNCH

BACK COVER

Starting at $1220

THINK BIG‌

WEAR YOUR PJ’s & GET HALF OFF FOOD & BOOZE WEAR YOUR PJ’s, NO SWEATS! MOM HAS FINAL SAY ON PROPER ATTIRE!

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20% OFF ANY SERVICE

Advertise it here, call Classified at 410-523-2300 today!

The Quarter Luxury Apartment Homes

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GREAT MOVE-IN SPECIALS! Located in Baltimore, Essex, Fells Point, Cockeysville, Towson and Owings Mills. Call 1-888-STORAGE or visit www.extraspace.com

WITH THIS AD 6715 YORK ROAD, TOWSON CALL 410-377-2056

PET PORTRAITS BY PETER

Play for Baltimore's Nationally Ranked Women's Rugby Team No Experience Necessary Email:chesapeakewrfc@gmail.com

FRESH & CLEAN HARDWOOD FLOORING

An original watercolor portrait of your pet friend! From $100. Call 443-491-3477 or email pfharrington@live.com

BIG LUXURY BIG APARTMENTS

BIG VIEWS

CI TY PA PE R RE AD ER

S: Mention and rec thi s ad ieve off on 1st $10 00 vis it!

No monthly pet rent! Pet Friendly*

INSTANT CASH! Below Wholesale Prices on All Jewelry & Diamonds! Licensed & Bonded. 410-563-1300 2201 E. Monument St, 21215 www.alphagoldexchange.com

WE BUY HOUSES We Buy Pretty, Ugly or Anywhere In Between. Fast Cash & Quick Closing. Call 443-415-0790 or email kennedypgllc@gmail.com

*Breed restrictions do apply

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410-296-4321-Phone 410-296-4438-Fax J^[gkWhj[h6bWd[YecfWdo$Yec

BANKRUPTCY THE CRESCENT AT FELLS POINT Ultimate Urban Waterfront Address

Start Fresh with Chapter 7. Attorney Zell Gilden 410-336-3775 www.bankruptcybluesmaryland.com We are a debt relief agency

951 Fell Street • Baltimore, Maryland 21231

CrescentFellsPoint.com

P 410.534.VIEW

101 WELLS

*Pricing & specials subject to change

GOODBYE TO STRESS Hire a Personal Assistant and start delegating your To-Do list. Visit: www.leaveittoem.com Or call Emily at 410-446-9597

LIVE WELL HISTORIC CHARM MODERN AMENITIES

One Bedrooms starting at $1,155 and Two Bedrooms starting at $1,450. Reserve TODAY and receive ONE MONTH FREE! £ä£ĂŠ -/ĂŠ7 -ĂŠ-/ʇÊ / ", ʇÊÓ£ÓÎäĂŠUĂŠ{{ĂŽÂ‡Â™Ă“Ă‡Â‡ĂˆĂˆnĂŽĂŠUĂŠ777°£ä£7 -° "

BALTIMORE MUSEUM OF INDUSTRY New audio/visual tours at the BMI. For more info, visit www.thebmi.org or call 410-727-4808

IN AND OUT BAIL BONDS

SANDING, REFINISHING, INSTALLATION & REPAIRS 20 YEARS OF SERVICING MD 410-486-1606 FREE ESTIMATES

NOW HIRING Comm'l Construction Staffing Co Hiring for All Phases of Construction. Steady Work. Drug Free, Driver's Lic, Own Trans. 443-762-2398

CASH FOR RECORDS Jazz, Soul, Rock, Punk, Metal, Disco, Reggae, Blues, Gospel, R&B, International, Folk, Old School Hip-Hop. 443-844-6272

BAND REHEARSAL

TAXI SERVICE

4355 Park Heights Avenue Baltimore, MD 21215 Call 24/7 410-466-5531

24/7, Computer dispatcher Arrow Cab City 410-261-0000 County Cab 410-338-0000 A.A. County Cab 410-787-8800

DONATE YOUR CAR

WE BUY HOUSES

FREE Same day Pick-up/Tow IRS Tax Deductible Help Kids in Need

1-800-699-7566

Wanted Homes & Rentals for Fast CASH offers. Free Estimates‌ Call 410-746-8276

WHERE LUXURY AND CONVENIENCE MEET

Highlandtown, Stadium & Essex. Secure parking. Heat/AC, Elec. Baltimore's Best. 443-831-2263 www.bandrehearsal.net

$500 POLICE IMPOUNDS! Cars/Trucks from $500! Hondas/Acuras, Chevys,etc. For Listings 800-585-3563 x 3825

THE GREENEHOUSE

One Bedroom starting at $1,200 and Two Bedrooms starting at $1,600. For a limited time, reserve an apartment and receive 2 months FREE. x£™Ê7°ĂŠ*, //ĂŠ-/°ĂŠ / ", ĂŠĂ“ÂŁĂ“ä£ĂŠUĂŠ{{ĂŽÂ‡Â™Ă“Ă‡Â‡ĂˆĂˆnĂŽĂŠUĂŠ777° , "1- ° "

Algorithme Pharma is now conducting short-term clinical trials! ( 4 1 0 ) 3 8 5 - 4 6 6 7 We are currently seeking men and women, non-smokers and light-smokers, ages 18 and older, to participate in a research study of known medications. You could receive from $700 to $4,000* in compensation as well as study-related medical evaluation at no cost. * Compensation based on the completed study, length of stay and number of return visits. Several studies are available.

1-800-787-1100

www.sciencepays.com


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