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Glam-Mas A group of Dublin grandmas redefine being a grandparent

The sun beats down on the colorful Dublin playground as two women chase their preschool-aged charges down slides, through tunnels and onto the purple teeter-totter. Two other ladies place little ones in baby swings, smiling and chatting as they offer gentle pushes.

I am visiting a play group run by four grandmothers, who regularly take care of their grandchildren while their own children are working.

When I first learned about this group, my running title for my column was “Granny Nannies.” But having met them, I now find that term too dated for these attractive, stylish women in their mid-50s. They deserve to be called “GlamMas.”

Grandparenting has changed. Today’s older generation lives longer and experiences a greater duration of grandparenthood than ever before. As young adults try to hold onto their jobs in a tough economy, many also have turned to their parents for assistance.

Tami Smith’s daughter, Jamie Ottery, works part-time for Muirfield Energy and has two sons, 3-year-old Weston and 17-month-old Thomas. Tami watches her grandchildren one day a week, and their paternal grandparents sit one day a week.

In spring 2010, Tami started a play group with her close friends Carole Neale, Janet Sturgeon and Dorothy Jayjack, all of whom had recently become grandparents.

“We’ve known each other since our daughters were 8 and played soccer together,” says Tami. “We always relied on get-togethers when our girls were young, so I figured, why not bring back the play group with the next generation?”

The women are like sisters, says Janet, whose daughter, Jessie McFadden, works full-time at Grange Insurance and has 14-month-old Kelsey.

“It’s so much fun being a grandparent and having friends to share it with,” she says.

Carole’s daughter, Annie Lange, works 50-60 hours each week at Cardinal Health and is mother to Nash, 3, and Emerson, 17 months.

Dorothy’s daughter, Lindsey Sobc - zak, is an accountant for the federal government and mom to 4-year old Ella, 2-year old Blake and 10-month-old Bryn. Dorothy watches her grandchildren five days a week.

The four Glam-Mas meet every Tuesday from 11 a.m. to 1 p.m. with eight grandchildren, from birth to 4 years, between them. Occasionally, their friends Nancy Pimm, Fee Hoy and Lori Montgomery join in with their little ones, though they are not regulars.

They rotate houses in the cold weather and visit parks, pools or the zoo when it’s warm. Sometimes, they set up small plastic pools in the back yard so the kids can splash from one to another and then enjoy a picnic.

“It’s better if we can keep the mess outside,” says Tami.

The women have all baby-proofed their homes for safety. The gates are up, the white latches are back on the cabinets and the plastic covers are on the doorknobs. The grandparents have their own cribs, high chairs and toys set up at their houses. Carole just bought a huge dollhouse at a church bazaar, and her young ones love it.

“That’s nothing,” Dorothy says. “We now have an enormous bounce house filling up our basement.”

The ladies agree that watching children is harder this time around and seems more chaotic.

Climbing in and around the jungle gym, the Glam-Mas look pretty nimble to me, but they claim to have less energy than they once did.

“I rolled around on the floor like Kelsey, and I pulled a chest muscle,” says Janet. “I tried a somersault to entertain Weston, and I nearly broke my neck,” says Tami.

The grandparent-grandchild relationship is a unique giveand-take.

Staying close keeps grandparents in touch with changing values and trends, and helps them feel young again. Of course, that could have its drawbacks as well. Carole says she can’t wait for more grandchildren, but if her daughter has a third child, she will need to get a different car to fit three car seats when she babysits. Tami agrees.

“What I really want is a convertible, but I’m going to buy a minivan,” she says. “On the upside, it will be great for tailgating!”

This group of “Glam-Mas” says grandparents are a good solution to the child care issue because they have a vested interest in looking after the children and saving money. Some good advice is to not make the grandparents feel like employees by giving orders and constantly checking up on them. And grandparents should abide by parents’ rules and respect their choices.

The Glam-Mas manage this well, and enjoy the fellowship and using each other as sounding boards.

“It’s cheaper than therapy and a lot more fun,” says Tami. -CD

Comments and feedback welcome at gmartineau@pubgroupltd.com.

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