4 minute read
Pro Moves vs. Rookie Mistakes with SportTalk Radio
It takes an experienced, veteran football fan or coach to make all of the right moves before, during, or after the game. We talked with SportTalk Radio’s hosts, Quake and Cowboy Joe, to get their expert opinions on what distinguishes a rookie from a pro in all things high school football. Read on to see what these popular football talk show hosts have to say about 10 different, and sometimes wacky, game day scenarios.
You have a favorite end-zone dance, and you score the winning touchdown.
PRO MOVE: You’ll only score a certain number of touchdowns in your lifetime, so make the most of it! Plus, it’s cool to show off your dance moves. – Cowboy Joe
ROOKIE MISTAKE: You launch into the Ickey Shuffle or Dirty Bird, your belt breaks, pants fall down, and you live in infamy on TikTok. – Quake
Your son's school has encouraged parents to show their school spirit.
PRO MOVE: Shirtless dads showing support for the team, and to make it a pro move, add body paint. – Cowboy Joe
ROOKIE MISTAKE: Show up with the wrong color jersey, and shave your son’s number onto the back of your head. – Quake
Your team is down by three points and has the ball on the opposing team's 2-yard-line with only seconds to play.
PRO MOVE: Go with the “BIG” formation – two linemen as your fullback and running back, and plow them into the end zone. Coming from a former lineman, this is unstoppable. – Cowboy Joe
ROOKIE MISTAKE: The coach calls a timeout when none are available, and the team receives a 5-yard delay-of-game penalty. – Quake
On the field, warming up prior to the game, the opposing team stomps on your school's emblem.
PRO MOVE: First of all, that’s a big nono. Secondly, let them know there will be retribution. Thirdly, hang 50 points on ‘em! – Cowboy Joe
ROOKIE MISTAKE: Act like that is no big deal and don’t say a word. You never really liked your logo anyway. – Quake
You are to bring a dish to the tailgate party.
PRO MOVE: Be the hit of the party, and pony up and purchase multiple party trays of wings with my favorite buffalo ranch and golden fire sauces. Do it right! – Quake
ROOKIE MISTAKE: Bring your hibachi grill and cook an assortment of carrot sticks, cauliflower, and other raw vegetables. Then, serve them on your finest china with your favorite silverware. – Cowboy Joe
You are elected to be the team mascot. The mascot is named “Big Turkey.”
PRO MOVE: Don’t forget a large baster as an accessory, and make sure you have an impressive wattle to show off to the crowd. – Quake
ROOKIE MISTAKE: Dress as Big Bird, roller skate around the track, and punch the opposing team’s mascot. – Cowboy Joe
Your team won the championship game, and you're responsible for hosting the aftergame celebration.
PRO MOVE: Invite Steve Aoki as your DJ, and definitely toss the head coach in the pool. – Quake
ROOKIE MISTAKE: Inviting Uncle Eddie’s polka band to crank up the entertainment. – Cowboy Joe
A coach is going crazy after you (a referee) blew a very important call.
PRO MOVE: Don’t acknowledge the coach at all. If he wants to become a referee, we can get him in … I know people. – Cowboy Joe
ROOKIE MISTAKE: Immediately apologize, and tell the coach you will make amends. Then, listen to many words far less than encouraging. – Quake
It's raining and the person in front of you opens a tall, wide umbrella that blocks your view.
PRO MOVE: Subtly ask the person if you can switch seats with them. When the guy behind you objects because he will now be unable to see the game, the umbrella man should get the message. – Quake
ROOKIE MISTAKE: Leaving your seat without asking them to get rid of the umbrella. The rookie mistake was bringing an umbrella to the game. Everyone knows a poncho is the way to go at a football game. – Cowboy Joe
You and your friends decide to host SportTalk Radio.
PRO MOVE: I already do that. – Cowboy Joe
ROOKIE MISTAKE: Spend time talking about cornhole tournaments. Because who cares about football in the South? – Quake
