Hindsight Is 20/20

Women Share Words of Wisdom With Their Past Selves

Photography by Rich Smith

Sometimes we can only begin to understand the full tapestry of our lives through the lens of hindsight. Looking back reveals that each event – the good, the bad, and the in-between – is a single thread woven into a larger design. The trick, then, is to reflect on the past with grace, recognizing how our life circumstances played a role in making us who we are today. Here, six local women write a letter to their past selves, sharing words of wisdom that only time can bring.

Pinky Young

 

Dear 17-Year-Old Pinky,

At this stage of your life, you don’t know what you don’t know – about college, jobs, marriage, or children. Your whole life is ahead of you, and I know that you are ready to get going! As you graduate high school, you will be setting course on an unknown journey. You will love hard, play hard, and work hard, but will need to stay true to yourself as difficult as it will be to keep from letting others change you. Your first generation/outsider background has shaped you into someone who knows you are different and embraces that. Consider all alternatives in classes, jobs, dates … you never know which you will like the most until you try!

Your personal mantra of, “It will be okay, or everything will work out in the end,” will serve you well throughout your life. After all, if it is not okay, then it’s not over yet. Remember to keep your family and friends close and let them know you love them. They know your story and know how helpful, kind, and silly you can be! Treasure your memories of family. Stay silly!

Love,Your Future Self

Eunjoo (Eunice) Kal

 

Dear 13-Year-Old Eunjoo,

You may not realize it now, but the struggles you face will shape you into someone stronger than you can imagine. You wake up each day in a quiet countryside town, running across the schoolyard, laughing with friends, and studying with diligence. You follow every lesson with sincerity, and one day, you’ll look back and feel proud of the woman you will become. I know how hard you work after school – not to rest, but to help your blind mother and disabled father, who, despite his hardships, labors tirelessly in the fields. You give so much, yet you still dream of a life beyond your small village. Inspired by your uncle’s success in America, you believe hard work will take you beyond poverty. Hold on to that dream.

At school, your principal’s stories of Carnegie stir something in you. You won’t dream of fame – just of being useful and steadfast. When you begin learning English, you’ll see it as a key to new opportunities. Keep practicing those cassette tapes and speaking bravely. That determination will take you far. Even in hardship, don’t lose your smile. You are stronger than you know. Keep dreaming, keep believing, and trust that God’s grace is guiding you every step of the way.

Love,Your Future Self

Dionne Jenkins

 

Dear 8-Year-Old Dionne,

The only constant in life is change. Embrace it. Your whole world is about to change, but your strength, wisdom, and resilience will shape the world around you. In the beginning, it will be confusing, it will hurt, and you will want to return to the world you once knew. You return at 18 only to realize that it is no longer who you are, just the foundation of who you will become later in life. Early on, people will try to treat you like a statistic. Don’t let them box you in. No matter what life throws at you, know that it does not define you. Walk with confidence, lead with integrity, and never let anyone dim your light. Dream big, then go back and dream bigger. Embrace your quirkiness. Love the good and bad parts of yourself. It’s okay if others don’t agree with your choices or understand your “why.” God gave you an assignment that only you control. That smile everyone talks about … keep it. You will need it for yourself. YOU create happiness for yourself. Oh yeah – that box everyone tried to put you in? You crushed it. Be proud!

Love,Your Future Self

LaTonya Lyons

 

Dear 17-Year-Old LaTonya,

I know you’re facing choices that feel overwhelming, wondering if you’re doing the right thing. Some choices will change your life in unimaginable yet beautiful ways. Some will hurt, some will heal, and some will test your strength. You’re not perfect, nor will you ever be. Life isn’t about being perfect – it’s about standing tall even when things don’t go as planned. It’s about taking ownership, learning, and moving forward with grace.

Losing Mom will be hard, but she prepared you well. Her wisdom, resilience, and love will always guide you. Work – both paid and volunteer – will challenge you, but remember, success is about making an impact, growing, and continually embracing new, meaningful challenges. You’ll come to value purpose over paychecks and integrity over approval. Life will humble you. Friendships will shift, love will be complicated, and not everyone will stay. But the right people will. They will see you, value you, and stand beside you through it all, whatever it takes.

So, take a breath. Trust yourself. Keep moving forward. Every experience – good, bad, or uncertain is shaping the person you’re meant to be. And that person? They’re doing just fine.

With Love and Understanding,Your Future Self

Dorris Shober

 

Dear 33-Year-Old Dorris,

Treat other people the way you want to be treated. The Golden Rule will take you far both professionally and personally. Treat people with kindness and respect – employees, customers, vendors, everyone – invaluable relationships will develop that will support you throughout your career. You will find that people, even those you do not know well, will help you in those tough situations that you are not sure how to handle yourself. It is truly in giving that you will receive. Secondly, you are definitely not going to please everyone. Realize this early, it will save some heartache. Learn to trust your intuition, you can depend on it. That voice deep within you will help guide your decision-making while upholding values that you cherish. And lastly, owning your own business is a bit like riding a roller coaster with challenging lows and exhilarating highs. Through it all though and with much personal growth, you will become a strong, respected business owner yourself. Lupi’s is an enormous gift in your life, enjoy the ride!

Love,Your Future Self

LaVerne Easterly

 

Dear 15-Year-Old LaVerne,

As a child, you were protected, provided important care, and taught biblical principles by your dedicated and loving parents, several siblings, grandparents, aunts and uncles, teachers, and neighbors. Now at age 15, you will be charged with many more independent responsibilities. Your maturing years can be compared to sewing a blouse with front tucks. You will need to choose a pattern, fabric, and necessary supplies. Now it’s time to get to work.

Just like sewing a blouse, every day you are growing up can be full of challenges. As in life, your finished blouse will look and perform best if appropriate steps are consciously followed. Study pattern instructions, straighten fabric, cut away and discard unusable ends, lay the pattern, and carefully cut each piece along the line, notches included. The notches, like the various challenges in life, prove to be very important as the fabric is sewn together. If you move through the steps consciously paying attention to each detail, the tucks that you cut will perform beautifully after you have finished and pressed each seam. Make the best of every maturing challenge and situation. Learn daily from the unlimited resources available to you. Choose to pray, enjoy music and dancing, follow the acceptable patterns and guidelines, and appreciate each unique person in your world to have a happy and productive life.

Love,Your Future Self