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Go to realastrology.com for Rob Brezsny’s expanded weekly audio horoscopes and daily text-message horoscopes. Audio horoscopes also available by phone at 877-873-4888 or 900-950-7700.
ARIES (March 21-April 19)
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“I have lived my life according to this principle: If I’m afraid of it, then I must do it.” Aries author Erica Jong said that. Since I’m not an Aries myself, her aspiration is too strong for me to embrace. Sometimes, I just don’t have the courage, willpower and boldness to do what I fear. But since you decided to be born as an Aries in this incarnation, I assume you are more like Erica Jong than I. And so it’s your birthright and sacred duty to share her perspective. The coming weeks will be an excellent time to carry out another phase of this lifelong assignment.
TAURUS (April 20-May 20)
“Sometimes suffering is just suffering,” writes novelist Kate Jacobs. “It doesn’t make you stronger. It doesn’t build character.” Now is your special time to shed suffering that fits this description, Taurus. You are authorized to annul your relationship with it and ramble on toward the future without it. Keep in mind you’re under no obligation to feel sorry for the source of the suffering. You owe it nothing. Your energy should be devoted to liberating yourself so you can plan your rebirth with aplomb.
GEMINI (May 21-June 20)
“I am very much afraid of definitions, and yet one is almost forced to make them,” wrote painter Robert Delaunay (1885–1941). “One must take care, too, not to be inhibited by them,” he concluded. He was speaking of the art he created, which kept evolving. In his early years, he considered his work to be Neo-Impressionist. Later, he described himself as a “heretic of Cubism,” and during other periods he dabbled with surrealism and abstract art. Ultimately, he created his own artistic category, which he called Orphism. Everything I said about Delaunay can serve you well in the coming months, Gemini. I think you’ll be wise to accept definitions for yourself, while at the same time not being overly bound by them. That should ultimately lead you, later this year, to craft your own unique personal definition.
CANCER (June 21-July 22)
As a postgraduate student in astronomy, Cancerian-born Jocelyn Bell Burnell discovered radio pulsars in 1967. Her supervisor, who initially dismissed her breakthrough, was awarded the Nobel Prize for her work in 1974—and she wasn’t! Nevertheless, she persisted. Eventually, she became a renowned astronomer who championed the efforts of minority researchers. Among the 25 prestigious awards and honors she has received is a $3 million prize. I urge you to aspire to her level of perseverance in the coming months. It may not entirely pay off until 2023, but it will pay off.
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22)
“One should always play fairly when one has the winning cards,” wrote author Oscar Wilde. Let’s make that your motto for the next six weeks. If life could be symbolized by a game of poker, you would have the equivalent of at least a pair of jacks and a pair of queens. You may even have a full house, like three 10s and two kings. Therefore, as Wilde advised, there’s no need for you to scrimp, cheat, tell white lies or pretend. Your best strategy will be to be bold, forthright and honest as you make your moves.
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22)
“In all the land, there is only one you, possibly two, but seldom more than 16,” said comedian and actor Amy Sedaris. She was making a sardonic joke about the possibility that none of us may be quite as unique as we imagine ourselves to be. But I’d like to mess with her joke and give it a positive tweak. If what Sedaris says is true, then it’s likely that we all have soul twins somewhere in the world. It means that there are numerous people who share many of our perspectives and proclivities; that we might find cohorts who see us for who we really are. I bring these thoughts to your attention, Virgo, because I suspect the coming months will be an excellent time for meeting and playing with such people.
LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22)
A team of biologists unearthed a fascinating discovery in Costa Rica. When the group planted a single tree in pastureland that had no trees, biodiversity increased dramatically. For example, in one area, there were no bird species before the tree and 80 species after the tree. I suspect you can create a similar change in the coming weeks. A small addition, even just one new element, could generate significant benefits. One of those perks might be an increase in the diversity you engage with.
SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21)
Smallpox has been eliminated thanks to vaccination, but it was once among the most feared diseases. Over the course of many centuries, it maimed or killed hundreds of millions of people. For 35% of those who contracted it, it was fatal. As for the survivors, their skin had permanent scars from the blisters that erupted. As disfiguring as those wounds were, they were evidence that a person was immune from future infections. That’s why employers were more likely to hire them as workers. Their pockmarks gave them an advantage. I believe this is a useful metaphor for you. In the coming weeks, you will have an advantage because of one of your apparent liabilities or imperfections or “scars.” Don’t be shy about using your unusual asset.
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21)
Sagittarian author Pearl Cleage sets the tone for the future I hope you’ll seek in the coming weeks. The Black feminist activist writes, “We danced too wild, and we sang too long, and we hugged too hard, and we kissed too sweet, and howled just as loud as we wanted to howl.” Are you interested in exploring such blithe extravagance, Sagittarius? Do you have any curiosity about how you might surpass your previous records for rowdy pleasure? I hope you will follow Cleage’s lead in your own inimitable style.
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19)
“I can never rest from tenderness,” wrote author Virginia Woolf. I won’t ask you to be as intense as her, Capricorn. I won’t urge you to be constantly driven to feel and express your tenderness. But I hope you will be focused on doing so in the coming weeks. Why? Because the astrological omens suggest it will be “in your self-interest to find a way to be very tender” (a quote by aphorist Jenny Holzer). For inspiration, consider this experiment proposed by Yoko Ono: “Try to say nothing negative about anybody: a. for three days; b. for 45 days; c. for three months.”
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18)
“I gamble everything to be what I am,” wrote Puerto Rican feminist and activist poet Julia de Burgos, born under the sign of Aquarius. Her gambles weren’t always successful. At one point, she was fired from her job as a writer for a radio show because of her progressive political beliefs. On the other hand, many of her gambles worked well. She earned awards and recognition for her five books of poetry and garnered high praise from superstar poet Pablo Neruda. I offer her as your role model, Aquarius. The rest of 2022 will be a fertile time to gamble everything to be what you are. Here’s a further suggestion: Gamble everything to become what you don’t yet know you must become.
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20)
Piscean jazz saxophonist and composer Ornette Coleman was a trailblazer. He created the genre known as free jazz, which messed with conventional jazz ideas about tempos, melodies and harmonies. He won a Pulitzer Prize, a Grammy Lifetime Achievement Award and a MacArthur Fellowship “genius” grant. He was a technical virtuoso, but there was more to his success. Among his top priorities were emotional intensity and playful abandon and pure joy. That’s why, on some of his recordings, he didn’t hire famous jazz drummers, but instead had his son, who was still a child, play the drum parts. I suggest you apply Coleman’s approach to your own upcoming efforts.
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A&E 1/4 M
1. “The Jeffersons” actress Marla 6. Salesperson’s exhortation 11. Home of L.A. and La. 14. Plant source for tequila 15. Stratospheric layer 16. Habit wearer 17. Her 62-Down lists her income from fighting evildoers 19. Sanjay Gupta’s network 20. Start of an Ella Fitzgerald standard 21. New York paper that published the very first crossword (1913) 23. Part of FWIW 24. His 62-Down lists his income from filmmaking 28. Pre-Columbian Mexican 31. ‘’Old Macdonald’’ closer 32. Deployed, as a sailor 33. E-signature holder, maybe 35. Yuletide tune 38. Shakespeare’s “poor venomous fool” 39. Her 62-Down lists her income from hosting a talk show 43. Actress Tyler 44. Actor Schreiber 45. Steaming 46. 1930s migrant to California 48. Neon or xenon 50. Dressed like a Supreme Court justice 54. His 62-Down lists his income from being a chocolatier 58. Give ____ whirl 59. Black tea variety 60. Far-too-memorable song 63. Path 64. His 62-Down lists his income from writing poetry 67. Grow long in the tooth 68. Woman’s name that sounds like two letters 69. Greta Thunberg, by nationality 70. The ____ Moines Register 71. One sought for advice 72. Administered, as meds
1. Dev Patel’s role in the 2021 film “The Green Knight” 2. “You must let me!” 3. Exile 4. Some men’s underwear 5. Car radio button 6. Pasta shape 7. Aduba of “Orange Is the New Black” 8. ____ Kippur 9. Flabbergasted 10. Mortise’s partner 11. One known for finger-pointing 12. Hot weather wear 13. “Bel Canto” author Patchett 18. Counterpart of “FF” 22. 60 mg of Vitamin C, e.g. 25. Odyssey, e.g. 26. Pea jacket material 27. Maple syrup source 29. “Buffy the Vampire Slayer” network 30. Extra: Abbr. 34. “Just a heads-up...” 36. Furniture wood 37. “You’re full of it!” 39. User-edited reference entry 40. Wicked looks 41. “And away ____!” 42. ____ Annie of “Oklahoma!” 43. Burner setting 47. Caribou relative 49. Spit in one’s food? 51. Wetlands and tundra, e.g. 52. Brokerage giant founded in 1991 53. Cursed 55. Shout of pain 56. Start of the chorus to “Yellow Submarine” 57. Reaction to shiatsu 61. New England art inst. 62. Tax info form ... or this puzzle’s theme 63. Gum, after use 65. Trippy ‘60s drug 66. 20-20, e.g.
Last week’s answers
SUDOKU X
Complete the grid so that each row, column, diagonal and 3x3 square contain all of the numbers 1 to 9. No math is involved. The grid has numbers, but nothing has to add up to anything else. Solve the puzzle with reasoning and logic. Solving time is typically 10 to 30 minutes, depending on your skill and experience.
WITH BABS DELAY
Broker, Urban Utah Homes & Estates, urbanutah.com
Fore!
It’s getting warm enough in the northern part of the state for slicers and hookers to go on the hunt. That’s right, golf season is now upon us!
But wait, what about Southern Utah? Every winter, so-called “snowbirds” from all over the world flock to the red rock vistas near Zion to chase little white balls along the area’s green fairways.
Almost 80% of Utah’s golf courses are owned by a city, county or the state, and that makes us unique in this country. What surprises many visitors is how cheap our fees are and how easy it is to get on a course most of the time.
Golf Digest listed the 10 best Utah courses in 2021-2022 as: 1. Glenwild, Park City; 2. Victory Ranch, Kamas; 3. Red Ledges, Heber City; 4. Talisker Club at Tuhayne, Park City; 5. Promontory (Painted Valley course) at Park City; 6. Sand Hollow Resort, Hurricane; 7. Promontory (Pete Dye Canyon), Park City; 8. Park Meadows, Park City; 9. The Country Club, Salt Lake City and 10. Entrada at Snow Canyon, St. George.
Golf courses started out in Utah as private country clubs controlled and funded by their membership. Basically, it was a sport for rich white men.
One of the oldest courses in the capital city was in the 9th & 9th area of Gilmer Park. The first Salt Lake Country Club was where Forest Dale Golf Course is in Sugar House.
In the 1920s, golf became popular and people wanted accessibility to courses. And thus, Nibley Park Golf Course was created. The sport slowly grew but exploded when television began airing tournaments and people like Arnold Palmer and Lee Trevino became celebrities. During the 1960s, more than 20 public courses were created in the state of Utah.
Golf courses don’t necessarily make a profit. But the argument for them is that they provide much-needed green space for birds and wildlife, as well as recreation options. Opponents argue that they need excessive amounts of water to exist.
In recent years, cities have funded projects to upgrade the watering systems at golf courses. Bonneville, by Hogle Zoo, put in an entirely new sprinkling system that responds electronically to water needs. That also included designating areas that will only ever be watered by nature.
Nine-hole Nibley Park (2780 S. 700 East) is celebrating its 100-year anniversary in May. What originally was the location of an amusement park, the small urban course is a favorite of local duffers and pros alike. It’s hard to imagine that, 150 years ago, on these now-green lawns was a merry-go-round, a dance pavilion, racetrack and a ballpark.
Charles Nibley bought the resort and gave it to the city for recreational purposes so that “generations of men and women yet to come shall find healthful enjoyment and rare pleasure here in playing that splendid outdoor Scotch game of golf.” People are working on a ceremonial event next month that will include descendants of Charles W. Nibley and local officials. n
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NEWS of the WEIRD
Oops!
What do you get when you cross spring picture day, a green screen background and St. Patrick’s Day? Completely memorable elementary school photos, of course! At Sugar Grove Elementary School in Center Grove, Indiana, picture day happened to fall on St. Patrick’s Day, United Press International reported. And no kid wants to get pinched on the saint’s special day, so many kids were dressed in green. One problem: InterState Photography used green screens—like those used on weather broadcasts—behind the kids, so many “disappeared” in the initial proofs. Amanda Snow said her son’s green hoodie turned into a fence, and “he had a green mohawk, but that is completely gone. ... It ended up being just a hilarious fiasco,” she said. The photo company said the issues will be fixed on the final photos, but Snow hopes not: “I might reach out to the company and see if I can get the unedited ones, because honestly, they’ve brought me so much joy and laughter over the last day,” she said.
Animal Antics
Step aside, Punxsutawney Phil. Mojave Max, a 33-year-old desert tortoise, sees your predictions of spring and calls them with a dramatic yearly emergence from his burrow in Las Vegas, Nevada. According to KSNV-TV, Max lives at the Las Vegas Springs Preserve, where he is the official mascot for the Clark County Desert Conservation Program. Every year, Max marks the beginning of spring by making his way out of his burrow when his internal clock and the longer daylight hours tell him to do so. This year, Max peered out on March 26 at 12:21 p.m. Of course, Max’s interpretation of “spring” is hyper-local: It was 93 degrees in Las Vegas on March 26.
Recurring Themes
At least this wannabe traveler didn’t need help with his luggage. On March 29, an unidentified man scaled the barbed-wire fence at Midway Airport in Chicago and approached a private jet that had been cleared for takeoff, CBS News reported. As he tried to stall the plane, he removed his shirt, shoes, jacket and pants. Police said he appeared to be intoxicated. He jumped up on a wing of the plane; the pilot, in contact with air traffic control, said, “He’s right here at the front of the jet. He’s trying to get in. Our door is open here.” Chicago police apprehended him and took him to a local hospital for a mental evaluation. The plane eventually took off.
Least Mature Criminal
In Warren, Ohio, police responded to robbery call with a twist straight out of elementary school. As a 22-year-old man walked along a road late on March 27, a man wearing a ski mask approached him and asked if he was a drug dealer. When the victim said he was not, the robber allegedly pulled out a knife and demanded money, WKBN-TV reported. After the thief got about $80 from him, he made the victim “pinkie promise” that he wouldn’t call the cops, then rode off on a bicycle. The police have not located the pinkie promise perp.
The Continuing Crisis
Christopher Whetstone, 41, was arrested March 29 after authorities carrying out a search warrant at his home in Temecula, California, found two rocket launchers and a practice grenade in a trash can, National Public Radio reported. He was charged with grand theft, although it’s unclear whether the charges are related to the discarded heavy artillery items. Riverside County Sheriff’s Department Sgt. Edward Soto said narcotics and a bazooka also were found in the home, which is adjacent to a middle school.
Sweet (or Savory?) Revenge
When Alisha Moy, 20, and Jordan Cobbold, 21, broke it off after just a few weeks of dating, Moy was ready to move on. But Cobbold, apparently, was not, Metro News reported on March 31. A couple of weeks after they met, Cobbold suggested he take a key to her flat in Suffolk, England, which raised red flags for her. “I remember calling my mum because I was worried about it,” she said. After she messaged him to break it off, she returned home from work to find “something wrong” in her apartment. “He’d pulled my shoes out of the little cloakroom and poured beans and spaghetti in there. There were condiments splattered all over the walls and cooking sauce poured all over my vacuum cleaner,” she said. Cobbold had cut the cords to all her brand-new electrical appliances. Damage was estimated at about $2,000; police arrested him a few days later and he was fined, given community service and a restraining order.
Inappropriate Behavior
An unidentified crane driver in Dublin, Ireland, lost his job after he recorded himself dropping a bag of his own excrement from the crane cab onto a rooftop on March 30, DublinLive reported. While flinging the sick sack overboard, the man joked about “the joys of being a crane driver” and laughed, much to the horror of social media viewers who saw the video. The construction company said the driver had been removed immediately and would “not work on any of our other sites in the future.” They also asked social media platforms to remove the video.
Compelling Explanation
Kitty Deering of Edmond, Oklahoma, was surprised to learn that students at her daughter’s high school were selling “white privilege” cards for $10 around Valentine’s Day, KFOR-TV reported on March 31. The white cards read “Trumps Everything” on the front and, on the back, “This card grants its bearers happiness because it’s the color of your skin and not the choices that you make that determines your ability to be successful.” But Joel Patrick, the creator of the cards (who is Black), said the cards were “created as a joke. If they’re saying this in seriousness, that’s a personal problem with them. You don’t go around telling someone you’re better than them.” Deering isn’t buying it. “There’s been years of ongoing issues of segregation here ... between staff, between students, between the community,” she said. “We have to change it. That’s not how I raise my children.”
Unclear on the Concept
The owner of a tree-removal service in Dearborn, Michigan, has been arrested after several warnings about dumping debris in Detroit city limits, Fox2-TV reported. Police said Mahmoud Saad already had more than $14,000 in fines before his arrest on March 25, which he had paid. “Vehicles that have been registered to this person we have caught eight different times on our dumping cameras,” said Officer Jeremy Woods. “Every time we talk to him, he acts like he’s remorseful and then he does it again.” Cmdr. Eric Decker called it a “slap in the face.” Saad was held on a misdemeanor charge, which may result in more fines and having to pay for cleanup at multiple locations.
Babs De Lay
Selling homes for 38 years in the Land of Zion
Julie “Bella” De Lay
Realtor 801-784-8618 bella@urbanutah.com
Selling homes for 8 years
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