COMMUNITY

1. Nikola Tesla’s countrymen 6. His .366 lifetime batting average is the best ever 10. Supermodel Banks 14. Attire for an astronaut 15. Puccini piece 16. Addison and Issa 17. Partiality towards pesos over yen, e.g.? 19. Tolkien creatures 20. “Killing ____” (Sandra Oh series) 21. Grace’s partner on Netflix 23. Highly opinionated sorts from north of the Rio Grande? 28. Common piercing site 29. Matcha, e.g. 30. “Ad Parnassum” and “Fish Magic,” for two 31. One guarded in football 33. Showy bit of neckwear 34. “Well, lookee here!” 35. Annex Kansas? 41. What “vey” of “Oy, vey!” translates to 42. ____ Park (Pirates’ stadium) 43. Bolshevik’s foe 44. Get ____ of one’s own medicine 47. “Dig in!” 48. One of football’s Mannings 49. Competition show where people reach the finish line yelling “Phooey!” and “Fiddlesticks!”? 54. Georges Simenon detective Jules 55. Observe 56. Actress Hathaway 57. “Understand?” (or a five-word hint to solving 17-, 23-, 35- and 49-Across) 63. Celebrity chef Paula 64. Flying: Prefix 65. 2010s White House name 66. ____ prof. 67. “OMG, that’s 2 funny!” 68. Flexible Flyer products

1. One crying “Hup, two, three, four!”: Abbr. 2. -talk 3. Be a political candidate 4. Fixture whose name translates to “small horse” 5. Carell of “The Office” 6. It’s no free ride 7. “Either you do it ____ will” 8. Nigerian secessionist state of the 1960s 9. Iraqi city whose name, aptly, is an anagram of ARABS 10. Bob Dole’s successor as Senate Majority Leader 11. Pinstripes wearer 12. Turn in 13. Gauge 18. “Toy Story” dinosaur 22. Egyptian crosses 23. Rorschach, for one 24. Nelson’s catchphrase on “The Simpsons” 25. Killmonger who battles T’Challa 26. Buckets 27. Wicker chair accessory 32. London Times purveyor 33. Busy worker? 34. Tolkien creature 36. Heart of Paris? 37. ____’acte (intermission) 38. Offshore 39. Powder in the powder room 40. Lake fed by the Detroit River 44. Fleet of warships 45. Rock’s Eddy and Allman 46. Voices one’s view 47. Hold in high regard 50. 8.5” x 14” paper size 51. Wood in Louisville Sluggers 52. Swarms (with) 53. Queenly 58. ____-la-la 59. “____ soon?” 60. Elba, e.g., to Napoléon 61. Punk rocker Vicious 62. Univ. paper graders, maybe

Last week’s answers

SUDOKU X

Complete the grid so that each row, column, diagonal and 3x3 square contain all of the numbers 1 to 9. No math is involved. The grid has numbers, but nothing has to add up to anything else. Solve the puzzle with reasoning and logic. Solving time is typically 10 to 30 minutes, depending on your skill and experience.

WITH BABS DELAY

Broker, Urban Utah Homes & Estates, urbanutah.com

Gas Is Only Cheap at Taco Bell

Just when you thought there was enough bad news to go around, it appears we’re in for another kick in the pants with predictions that utility prices are going to jump this winter.

The U.S. Energy Information Administration reported in October that residential propane prices were starting the winter heating season at their highest level since 2011. For people back East who use heating oil, they will see higher prices than the previous two years. The “Winter Fuels Outlook” forecasts that U.S. households who use natural gas to heat will spend an average of $746 on heat bills from October-March, which is 30% more than last year.

Dominion Energy is passing on an 8.9% increase in natural gas prices as of this month to all users in Utah. We’re lucky, though, that we get our gas from nearby states and Dominion stores it for later use, which keeps the price down.

It’s completely logical that residential prices for energy are going up because more people are staying at home working and using more gas and electricity. Utah has the lowest water prices in the West, thanks to our Utah Legislature, so don’t expect to see any jump in water bills despite the statewide drought.

There are a ton of options to help you pay your bills if you get into financial troubles. The website needhelppayingbills.com is a terrific resource that can help you find financial help and apply for assistance programs in all cities and counties in Utah. Residents who qualify can receive grants for paying utility bills, free medical care, rent or mortgage help. It gives you info on the Food Stamp (EBT cards) program, Temporary Assistance for Needy Families (TANF) as well as free legal aid, benefits for the disabled, social services and emergency assistance.

The Climate Prediction Center of the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration (NOAA) predicts that this winter will be dryer in Southern Utah and the entire region is forecast to record warmer-than-normal temperatures. For weather geeks like me, this year is another La Nina year—just like 2020.

But the good news is October brought an early snowpack, and sometimes La Nina surprises us, and we end up with less snow in the valleys and above-average flakes for the mountains.

Last year, Alta celebrated 553 inches of snow. We can all feast on Impossible Whoppers and pray to Cryokinesis, the goddess of snow, for another banner year.

In Utah, Dominion Energy offers help for customers experiencing hardship in paying their gas bills. They suggest that customers consider a gas budget plan that divides an estimated annual gas bill into 12 equal payments. That way instead of paying $300 in January you might just pay $60 a month every month. Commercial customers can also ask for a six month break on past-due balances. To make arrangements, email customercare@ dominionenergy.com or call 800-323-5517. n

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Wait, What?

“Appropriate disciplinary action has been taken” in Hazard, Kentucky, after photos surfaced on social media allegedly depicting students giving lap dances to high school staff, USA Today reported. The incidents from Oct. 26 were part of homecoming week; Superintendent Sondra Combs said festivities included a “man pageant,” which somehow led to the lap dances by scantily clad students. One of the grateful recipients was the school’s principal, Donald “Happy” Mobelini, who is also the mayor of Hazard. “Using this as a teachable moment,” Combs said, “we will provide social media training for our students and staff.” But, she emphasized, the district “has a tradition of excellence and academics and everything we do”—apparently including suggestive bumping and grinding.

Government in Action

About 100 hippopotami that are descendants of hippos once owned by late drug lord Pablo Escobar have been recognized by the U.S. District Court for the Southern District of Ohio as legal persons, United Press International reported. The hippos live in Colombia, but nonhuman animals are allowed to go to a federal court in the U.S. to obtain testimony in defense of their interests. Colombian attorney Luis Domingo Gomez Maldondo filed a lawsuit on the animals’ behalf to save them from being euthanized, arguing that sterilization would be a better option.

Most Competent Criminal

A clever burglar in Coronado, California, devised a simple way to enter a home there on Oct. 21, the Associated Press reported. The 43-year-old woman just called a locksmith and asked him to change the locks on “her” home, then went inside, settled in, and turned on the music and fireplace. But a neighbor noticed the activity and contacted the out-of-town homeowner, who alerted the police. When officers arrived, the spare key provided by the neighbor didn’t fit the locks, and police saw metal shavings and parts of a discarded lock near the front door. Police went around back, called out to the person inside and arrested her as she emerged on suspicion of burglary.

Unclear on the Concept

A hiker in Colorado who was on a trail to Mount Elbert got lost on Oct. 18, wandering in the woods until the next morning around 9:30 a.m. Lake County Search and Rescue began looking for the unidentified person that evening and continued through the night, Fox News reported, making repeated calls to the hiker’s cellphone, which went unanswered. The hiker, who didn’t realize a search party was looking for them, told officials that they ignored the calls because they didn’t recognize the phone number. LCSAR recommended to hikers: “If you’re overdue according to your itinerary and you start getting repeated calls from an unknown number, please answer the phone.”

Creepy

Residents of Ipswich, England, have spent more than four years being troubled by a haunting rendition of the nursery rhyme, “It’s raining, it’s pouring ...” sung by a young child during the night. “It was waking me up in the night. It was absolutely terrifying,” one woman said, according to the Mirror. “Last week, it played for hours. It was just horrible.” Finally, in September, the borough council’s rapid response team tracked down the source of the chilling singing: It was a motion alarm in an industrial park. “The sound is only supposed to act as a deterrent for opportunistic thieves that come onto our property,” a spokesperson for the park said. “The motion sensors were being triggered by spiders crawling across the lenses of our cameras, and it looks like we’ve had it turned up too loudly.” The volume has been lowered, and Ipswich residents can sleep at night.

It’s an Education

Elementary students at Wilton Manors school in Florida were treated to a field trip on Oct. 27, walking over to Rosie’s Bar and Grill accompanied by Broward County School Board member Sarah Leonardi, who posted about the outing on her official Facebook page.

NEWS of the WEIRD Fox News reported that the post ignited outrage among members of the community, who, beyond their incredulity that a bar and grill was a “field trip” destination, were upset that Rosie’s is an LGBT bar, with items on the menu such as Rhoda Cowboy and Big Girl Burgers. Leonardi and the school district did not comment on the school trip.

The Way the World Works

Well, it’s happened: the first-ever doping scandal to rock the world of professional Venetian gondoliers. Renato Busetto has been stripped of his second-place award in September’s Historical Regatta and has been banned from competing for more than a year, the Daily Mail reported. He tested positive for marijuana after the event on Sept. 4, and on Oct. 27, Venice’s Technical Disciplinary Commission laid out his punishment.

Harsh

An unnamed Thai woman, 34, who lives in a high-rise condominium building in Bangkok was apparently very unhappy that she wasn’t informed that two painters, using ropes, would be working on the outside of the building on Oct. 12. So she cut their support rope, the Associated Press reported. One of the painters, a man named Song, said he and his co-worker had lowered themselves from the 32nd floor to repair cracks. When he reached the 30th floor, he felt something on the rope and looked down to see someone on the 21st floor lean out of the window and cut his rope. A third colleague supported them from the top floor as they tried to summon help from people in other apartments. A couple on the 26th floor finally let them in. The suspect confessed to cutting the rope and said she had no intention of killing the workers, but she faces attempted murder and property destruction charges.

Irony

With Halloween coming up, Clark County (Nevada) law enforcement agencies came together to promote pedestrian safety on Oct. 26. The “crosswalk fairy,” a police officer in costume, even escorted people across busy Boulder Highway, KVVUTV reported. But as officers demonstrated proper crosswalk techniques, pedestrian Tammy Wotton tried to cross the street where the event was being held—and was almost struck by a semi-truck. Nevada law stipulates that vehicles must yield to pedestrians. Officers pulled over the truck driver, along with several other offending motorists.

Parenting Fail

On Oct. 23, police in Gillette, Wyoming, were called to a home about a fight between a man and woman. When they arrived, the man had already left in his pickup truck, the Gillette News Record reported. He was pulled over and emerged from the truck with his two sons, 15 and 4. Sheriff’s Lt. Paul Pownall said that the 39-year-old admitted he’d been drinking but said his 4-year-old had been sitting on his lap and doing the actual driving. The suspect, who was already on unsupervised probation, was charged with his second DUI.

Happy Halloween!

Singer-songwriter Brocarde, 38, has revealed that she is in love with a Victorian ghost, Edwardo, who died at age 35 when he fell down a well, the Daily Star reported. Edwardo first came to her on a night when she was having difficulty sleeping, making the whole room cold and then introducing himself to her and whispering “I love you” in her ear. He proves himself by blowing out candles and leaving steam hearts on the shower walls, she said. But Brocarde is also afraid of Edwardo: “My biggest fear is that he’ll expect too much from me and kill me, so I’m a spirit, too,” she said. After Brocarde revealed her ghostly paramour on ITV’s This Morning, she said Edwardo “ghosted” her: “Edwardo seems furious with me since I’ve gone public with our romance,” she said. She hopes to lure him back on Halloween with scattered rose petals and candles. “I may even cook him some typical Victorian dishes to win him back.”

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PRIVATE EY For Locals Only

My mother’s father was born on the Greek island of Crete in 1886. From that time until he was 20 years old—and was teleported from his Gavalohori village vineyards to the inside of a pitch-black coal mine in Sunnyside, Utah, in 1906—he never lived in a free country. For 400 years prior, the Ottoman Turks occupied the island of Crete, ruling with a flair for being unfair and murderous to Cretans. My grandfather’s own father was a fairly well-known resistance leader, often heading into the hills to hide after he “shoot the Toorks” as he’d say.

That’s what people do when ruled under an iron fist. They rebel. It was hard to muster much of a fight against the foreign occupiers of Crete. Too often, resistance was met with overwhelming retribution, with whole villages murdered and Christian churches blown to bits. My grandfather never returned to Crete, but sometime before 1913, the father he’d never see again made a rebel name for himself, so much so that a photograph of him and his rifle are on display in the village museum, and his name is etched into the Gavalohori Crete War Monument.

I don’t know when my grandfather cast his first vote as a U.S. citizen, but he took voting very seriously. On Election Day, he’d put on his best (or only) suit, pack a red rose into his lapel, put on his fedora and be off to vote. He voted fast, straight ticket, never once casting a vote for a Republican candidate for any office ever. His experience was that Republican politicians were crooks who didn’t help the working man.

By his own account, Utah in 1906 wasn’t too far removed from Crete in a certain respect—the people who ran things here had little regard for immigrant workers. The Utahns he first met here were as racist as they come. Local Ku Klux Klan burned intimidating crosses. He was a dirty foreigner in their eyes—the scourge of Europe, diseased, lazy and dangerous.

He and his ilk weren’t dangerous people. They were kids who believed in honesty, hard work and the idea that anyone could become president of the United States.

Utah’s Mormons treated Greeks no better than Crete’s Ottoman Muslims had. Apparently learning about that in Utah’s schools is not “critical,” though. Greeks weren’t alone in being discriminated against. All ethnics were segregated into their own enclaves and work units, with the locals basically adopting the stance that they were undeserving scum. That was a real roundabout, that the people who invented democracy would emigrate to a democratic country only to be non-democratically disenfranchised into subset communities. The design was to keep them at distance from the local puritans who had already stolen Native American lands and scooted most of them to corners unknown.

My grandfather’s first vote occurred after he became a citizen in the 1930s. Prior to that, he had no voice, no representation, barring that someone did have a congressional seat and thus an obligation to listen to persons like him. Of course, they did not. Greeks, Italians, Croatians, Serbians, Mexicans, Japanese, Chinese and the occasional AfricanAmerican (Utah simply didn’t house many Blacks outside of those working rail jobs in the Ogden area) fully understood what that meant. It meant they had to stick together or get an even more-royal screwing.

After World War I, things thawed some and even my grandfather—who served in the U.S. military and whose own name is on the Vernal War Memorial—courted a local Mormon girl. Her family immediately disowned her but were won over when, after a honeymoon to Grand Junction, my grandfather gifted them a giant carp. And it was only a matter of time that a goodly share of her family unmasked their own Butch and Sundance secrets and pulled out the coffee, cigarettes and whiskey. That’s how I learned the term “Jack Mormon”—by being related to so many of them.

So, today, I can look around and know that life for ethnics in Utah is not so different than it was in 1906. Oh, sure, we’re aren’t dying in as many numbers in coal mines, and our truly dumb Utah neighbors will say “love it or leave it,” but at the very center, there is a basic reality: My grandfather could never attain political office in Utah, nor can I, nor can my kids or their kids. The Utah Legislature—and whoever they answer to—has effectively seen to that.

I live in Salt Lake County. Four family members live in close proximity, but we all live in separate proposed congressional districts. None of us could get more than one family vote. As in 1906, ethnics are divided in order to control. Look at that map and tell me with a straight face that it did not carve ethnic communities in Salt Lake County into impotent quadrants. Those damned brown Catholics! How dare they?

I want to believe that redistricting chairmen Rep. Paul Ray and Sen. Scott Sandall—as well as House Speaker Brad Wilson—are not liars. But I’m too old to believe that. They BS’ed all day long on Monday. Thus, Utah reveals its true colors and officially remains, at its very heart, from the governor’s office on down, a controlling, bigoted, discriminatory, racist state. My kids can never serve in Washington, D.C., unless they move out of state. Their only options here are to join the LDS Church and run as Republicans, then hope they have enough Mormon relatives in the Uinta basin and Central Utah willing to bury the hatchet. There’s no other way. Utah wants its own kind slamming the gavel, a state run by and for Latter-day Saints only. CW