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Go to realastrology.com for Rob Brezsny’s expanded weekly audio horoscopes and daily text-message horoscopes. Audio horoscopes also available by phone at 877-873-4888 or 900-950-7700.
ARIES (March 21-April 19)
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In the fantasy tale The Wizard of Oz, a tornado lifts the hero Dorothy from her modest home in rural Kansas to a magical realm called Oz. There, she experiences many provocative and entertaining adventures. Nonetheless, she longs to return to where she started from. A friendly witch helps her find the way back to Kansas, which requires her to click her ruby slippers together three times and say, “There’s no place like home.” I suspect, Aries, that there’ll be a different ending to your epic tale in 2022. At some point, you will decide you prefer to stay in your new world. Maybe you’ll even click your ruby slippers together and say, “There’s no place like Oz, there’s no place like Oz.” (Thanks to author David Lazar for that last line.)
TAURUS (April 20-May 20)
Fifty-five percent of people in Toronto speak primarily English or French. But for the other 45%, their mother tongue is a different language, including Portuguese, Tagalog, Italian, Tamil, Spanish, Cantonese and Mandarin. I wish you could spend some time there in the coming months. In my astrological opinion, you would benefit from being exposed to maximum cultural diversity. You would thrive by being around a broad spectrum of influences from multiple backgrounds. If you can’t manage a trip to Toronto or another diverse place, do your best to approximate the experience. Give yourself the gift of splendorous variety.
GEMINI (May 21-June 20)
One of your meditations throughout 2022 should be the following advice from The Laws of Human Nature, by author Robert Greene. He writes, “In ancient times, many great leaders felt that they were descended from gods and part divine. Such self-belief would translate into high levels of confidence that others would feed off and recognize. It became a self-fulfilling prophecy. You do not need to indulge in such grandiose thoughts, but feeling that you are destined for something great or important will give you a degree of resilience when people oppose or resist you. You will not internalize the doubts that come from such moments. You will have an enterprising spirit. You will continually try new things, even taking risks, confident in your ability to bounce back from failures and feeling destined to succeed.”
CANCER (June 21-July 22)
I would love to encourage you to travel widely and explore wildly in 2022. I would rejoice if I could brazenly authorize you to escape your comfort zone and wander in the frontiers. It’s not often the planetary omens offer us Cancerians such an unambiguous mandate to engage in exhilarating adventures and intelligent risks. There’s only one problem: that annoying inconvenience known as the pandemic. We have to exercise caution in our pursuit of expansive encounters. Luckily, you now have extra ingenuity about the project of staying safe as you enlarge your world.
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22)
I suspect that your life in 2022 might feature themes beloved by Leo author Emily Brontë (1818–1848). “No coward soul is mine,” she wrote, “No trembler in the world’s storm-troubled sphere.” I suggest making that one of your mottoes. Here’s another guiding inspiration from Emily, via one of her poems: “I’ll walk where my own nature would be leading: / It vexes me to choose another guide: / Where the grey flocks in ferny glens are feeding; / Where the wild wind blows on the mountain-side.” Here’s one more of Brontë’s thoughts especially suitable for your use in the coming months: “I’ll be as dirty as I please, and I like to be dirty, and I will be dirty!”
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22)
What reversals and turnabouts would you like to experience in 2022, Virgo? Which situations would you like to transform dramatically? Are there imbalances of power you would like to rectify? Contradictions you’d love to dissolve? Misplaced priorities you could correct? All these things are possible in the coming months if you are creative and resourceful enough. With your dynamic efforts, the last could be first, the low could be high and the weak could become strong.
LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22)
“Everything good I’ve ever gotten in my life, I only got because I gave something else up,” wrote author Elizabeth Gilbert. That has often been true for me. For example, if I hadn’t given up my beloved music career, I wouldn’t have had the time and energy to become a skillful astrology writer with a big audience. What about you, Libra? In my reckoning, Gilbert’s observation should be a major theme for you in 2022.
SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21)
Author C. S. Lewis wrote that we don’t simply want to behold beauty. We “want to be united with the beauty we see, to pass into it, to receive it into ourselves, to bathe in it, to become part of it.” If there were ever a time when you could get abundant tastes of that extravagant pleasure, Scorpio, it would be in the coming months. If you make it a goal, if you set an intention, you may enjoy more deep mergers and delightful interactions with beauty than you have had since 2010.
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21)
Sagittarian singer-songwriter Tom Waits began his career in 1969. He achieved modest success during the next 11 years. But his career headed in an even more successful direction after he met Kathleen Brennan, who became his wife and collaborator. In a 1988 interview, Waits said, “She’s got the whole dark forest living inside of her. She pushes me into areas I would not go, and I’d say that a lot of the things I’m trying to do now, she’s encouraged.” In 2022, Sagittarius, I’ll invite you to go looking for the deep dark forest within yourself. I’m sure it’s in there somewhere. If you explore it with luxuriant curiosity, it will ultimately inspire you to generate unprecedented breakthroughs. Yes, it might sometimes be spooky—but in ways that ultimately prove lucky.
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19)
Capricorn-born Muhammad Ali was far more than a superb professional boxer. He was an activist, entertainer and philanthropist who gathered much wisdom in his 74 years. I’ve chosen one of his quotes to be your guide in the coming months. I hope it will motivate you to rigorously manage the sometimes pesky and demanding details that will ultimately enable you to score a big victory. “It isn’t the mountains ahead to climb that wear you down,” Ali said. “It’s the pebble in your shoe.”
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18)
At a pivotal moment in his evolution, Aquarian playwright Anton Chekhov (1860–1904) swore an oath to himself. I’ll tell you about it here because I hope it will inspire you to make a comparable vow to yourself about how you’ll live your life in 2022. Author Robert Greene is the source of the quote. He says that Chekhov promised himself he would engage in “no more bowing and apologizing to people; no more complaining and blaming; no more disorderly living and wasting time. The answer to everything was work and love, work and love. He had to spread this message to his family and save them. He had to share it with humanity through his stories and plays.”
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20)
Here’s what Piscean author Anais Nin wrote in one of her diaries: “When I first faced pain, I was shattered. When I first met failure, defeat, denial, loss, death, I died. Not today. I believe in my power, in my magic, and I do not die. I survive, I love, live, continue.” According to my analysis of the astrological omens, Pisces, you could claim her triumphant declaration as your own in 2022, with special emphasis on this: “I believe in my power, in my magic. I survive, I love, live, continue.” This will be a golden age, a time when you harvest the fruits of many years of labor.
Software Manager, Lehi, UT. Teleworking option. Mail resume to N. Szetu, Simpler Postage Inc., 2889 W. Ashton Blvd., Ste 325, Lehi, Utah 84043
University of Utah Health and the Moran Eye Center will be destroying medical records for all patients with dates of service prior to 01/01/2000 and for patients that have a date of death prior to 2012, who were over 18 years old at the time of death, with dates of service prior to 01/01/2012. If you would like to request a copy of your records prior to destruction, or if you have a legal right to access a deceased relative’s medical information and would like a copy of their records, you must contact the facility at 801-581-2704 before 01/10/2022. After that date, records will no longer be available.
Happy New Year
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1. Blows one’s top 7. Evidence of a recent scrape 11. One standing in an alley 14. Shrink back 15. “Anything ____?” 16. “____ you decent?” 17. Cover, as a car 18. Readied, as leftovers 20. Many promotions made by Starbucks? 22. Lacto-____-vegetarian 23. W-2 collector 26. Ruffle the feathers of a Migos member? 32. “The Time Machine” race 34. Great Plains tribe 35. Fashion designer Anna whose last name becomes a fashion item when a “t” is added to its end 37. Great deal ... or an apt description of 20-, 26-, 45- or 52-Across 42. Down 43. Navy VIPs 44. ____ Romeo 45. Setting of a 2000s Ponzi scheme? 50. HBO competitor 51. Get an ____ (ace) 52. “SNL” castmember Alex pooh-poohs an idea for a sketch? 61. Three-fingered saluter 64. Without assistance 65. Citrus drink suffix 66. Orange-roofed chain, familiarly 67. Parallel-park, e.g. 68. See the humor in 69. ____ Jim 70. Baking supplies
1. “Spamalot” writer Idle 2. Where Johnny Cash shot a man, in song 3. Bay Area campus, in brief 4. Hair style for Marie Antoinette 5. Become bored by 6. Record holder 7. Medieval laborer 8. Treble ____ 9. First recipient of the ATP Player of the Year award 10. “Cold one” 11. Rocker Benatar 12. Fury 13. ____ Stark, patriarch on “Game of Thrones” 19. In its current condition 21. Ending for ball or buff 24. Fix a flat? 25. Things 26. Benny Carter song that sounds like an expression of dismay used in the Upper Midwest 27. In shape 28. Back: Prefix 29. Needing no Rx 30. The Red Baron, to Snoopy 31. Boggy lowland 32. Right side of a cliff? 33. Actors Hemsworth and Neeson 36. “____ tree falls ... “ 38. Ming in the Basketball Hall of Fame 39. Downloadable form, often 40. Band with the 1991 #1 hit “Unbelievable” 41. Tic-____-toe 46. Titles for Benedictine monks 47. What Jack Sprat couldn’t eat, in a nursery rhyme 48. “Gorillas in the Mist” author Dian 49. Like secret messages 53. “Draft Dodger Rag” singer Phil 54. April 1 target 55. Mountain overlooking Tokyo 56. Quark’s place 57. Olympic gold-medal gymnast Korbut 58. Lawyer’s charges 59. Dart about 60. Thesaurus contents: Abbr. 61. Duffel or satchel 62. Glowing lines 63. Even so
Last week’s answers
SUDOKU X
Complete the grid so that each row, column, diagonal and 3x3 square contain all of the numbers 1 to 9. No math is involved. The grid has numbers, but nothing has to add up to anything else. Solve the puzzle with reasoning and logic. Solving time is typically 10 to 30 minutes, depending on your skill and experience.
WITH BABS DELAY
Broker, Urban Utah Homes & Estates, urbanutah.com
My 2021 Review
Everyone in news media has a Top 10 of 2021, followed by predictions—so I’ll be cheeky here and give you my thoughts as well, in no particular order. 1. COVID: It’s here forever—that’s what we’re learning. 2. Housing demand: It will remain at alltime highs for at least the next few years. 3. Inflation: It came racing in and ended the year at its highest point since 1982. And it will keep moving up this next year, which means more people will be unable to afford their first home or pay rent. Average mortgage rates will probably move close to 4% for a 30-year loan, up almost 1 point from 2021. 4. Camping bans: Salt Lake City’s mayor continued to outlaw camping by the unsheltered—despite not quite figuring out how to open overflow shelters when it’s only 8 degrees outside—and directing the police to give out tickets for “Camping and Sleeping on Public Grounds.” By just trying to stay alive, those suffering rack up fines that they can never pay. 5. The dying Great Salt Lake: Scientists told us in 2021 that this crucial part of our ecosystem has lost about half of its water due to the decades-long, extreme drought. The direct impacts of global warming on our snowfall remain the biggest threat to the Greatest Snow on Earth. 6. The drought: High temperatures and minimal rain brought one of the nation’s largest reservoirs, Lake Powell, to half its capacity, with many other lakes and reservoirs in the state at all-time lows. 7. The torture and murder of newlyweds Crystal Turner and Kylen Schulte in Moab this summer: Local and national news focused on the murder of Gabby Petito around the same time, despite her not living in Utah and not being killed here. This lesbian couple deserves the same kind of coverage until their murderer is found. Their family has released horrific details of their deaths by torture and have hired private investigators to help bring justice and closure. 8. The condo collapse in Surfside, Florida, in June 2021: Due to structure failure, about half of the 12-story building collapsed with 98 people confirmed dead. The local HOA knew there were problems, but kept pushing off work until they could get more affordable bids. This could happen in Salt Lake as we have many older condo buildings that could collapse in an earthquake. 9. The Utes! (Or, as my granddaughter calls them, “The OOOOOTS”): Utah achieved a historic first by playing in the Rose Bowl. I was lucky enough to score a ticket to the Oregon game, where I almost froze to death, and we pounded Oregon into submission. Huzzahs to BYU, who earned a trip to the Independence Bowl, and Utah State, who slammed the Oregon State Beavers in the Jimmy Kimmel Bowl in December. Also, the Utes ski team won the NCAA Championship. 10. That damned supply chain: I can sell you a home, but good luck getting that new refrigerator or washer/dryer that you want anytime soon.
NOTICE TO CREDITORS AND OTHERS IN THE ESTATE OF MARLON HARDY PETERSON
55 W Alta View Way Sandy City, Utah 84070 who died on 11/02/2021 Take notice that all persons having claims upon the estate of the above named must file with the undersigned Estate Trustee by 03/21/2021 a full statement of their claims and of securities held by them. Estate trustee Jennifer Udseth 320 f street SLC, UT 84103 | 801-971-0602
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A Walk on the Wild Side
A couple in Sherbrooke, Quebec, were each fined $1,500 on Jan. 9, when police spotted the pair walking outside about an hour after the city’s 8 p.m. curfew, with the husband wearing a leash, CTV News reported. The city’s COVID-19 curfew allows for dog-walking after 8 p.m., but police rejected the couple’s claim that they were following the rules. It was the first weekend under new province-wide restrictions imposed by Premier Francois Legault, and officers throughout Quebec handed out more than 750 tickets.
Awwwwww
Russell Jones of London couldn’t figure out why his dog, Billy, was favoring one of his front paws while walking. He took the pet to the veterinarian to have X-rays, United Press International reported, but the vet found nothing wrong. Jones, however, had recently broken his own ankle and was wearing a cast and limping. At the $400 vet visit, the doctor suggested that Billy was simply imitating his owner. Man’s best friend, indeed.
Weird Science
Researchers have solved the mystery of how bare-nosed wombats, native to southeastern Australia, produce poop in cubes, reports the International Business Times. Wildlife ecologist Scott Carver of the University of Tasmania is lead author on a study, published Jan. 28 in the journal Soft Matter, that details the particular inner workings of the wombat’s digestive tract that produce the square-shaped dung. “This ability ... is unique in the animal kingdom,” Carver said. “Our research found that ... you really can fit a square peg through a round hole.” Angie Yen, 27, of Brisbane, Australia, had her tonsils removed on April 19, a simple surgery that went smoothly, News.com reported. But on April 28, as she got ready for work, she started singing in the shower and noticed something unusual about her voice. “I was singing in a different sound and also talking words in a funny accent,” Yen said. She called a friend, who agreed that her accent suddenly sounded Irish and told her about FAS, Foreign Accent Syndrome. Yen went to the hospital, but doctors told her to go home and see if the new accent would disappear in a few days. Nearly two weeks later, the brogue remains, and Yen is scheduled for an MRI and a visit with a neurologist. “I’m very lucky to have very supportive friends and family,” she said. “If they find something, hopefully there is a cure or treatment for it.”
The Aristocrats
Rapper Lil Uzi Vert, whose real name is Symere Woods, revealed on Instagram in early February that he has had a $24 million, 10-carat pink diamond implanted in his forehead, reported Rolling Stone. According to Simon Babaev, spokesman for the New York-based jeweler Eliantte & Co. that implanted the stone, Uzi fell in love with the marquise-shaped diamond when he saw it in 2017 and has been making payments on it as he determined what he wanted to do with it. “We didn’t think he was serious about it,” said Babaev, but as it became clear that he was, “we engineered a specific mounting that clips and locks in place. There’s a whole mechanism involved.”
Weird History
In an auction in Chesapeake City, Maryland, that closed on Feb. 8, a white wooden toilet seat pilfered from Adolf Hitler’s retreat in the Bavarian Alps sold for about $18,750, The Sun reported. Ragnvald C. Borch, a U.S. soldier who spoke German and French, was one of the first to arrive at the Berghof at the end of World War II. His senior officers told him to “get what you want” from the damaged property, so Borch grabbed a toilet seat and shipped it home to New Jersey, where he displayed it in his basement. Bill Panagopulos of Alexander Auctions said, “This was as close to a ‘throne’ as the dictator would ever get.” Borch’s son put the “trophy” up for auction; the buyer was not identified.
NEWS of the WEIRD Awesome! In 1961, when she was 10 years old, Gwen Goldman sent a letter to New York Yankees general manager Roy Hamey, offering her services as a bat girl. Hamey responded, “In a game dominated by men, a young lady such as yourself would feel out of place in a dugout.” Goldman kept the letter from Hamey on her bulletin board for the next 60 years, and her daughter recently forwarded it to current general manager, Brian Cashman. On June 28, United Press International reported, Goldman was invited to Yankee Stadium to fulfill her dream. Her visit included a tour of the clubhouse, meet-and-greet with players and coaches and photos with umpires—plus she got to throw out the first pitch wearing a full pinstripe Yankees uniform. “Sixty years thinking about this, and here it is,” Goldman said.
Creme de la Weird
An arrest warrant was issued July 8 in Little Rock, Arkansas, for Brian Dale Reams, 32, in connection with several incidents where he allegedly approached women and asked if he could touch their feet—with a curious twist, KATV reported. In Conway, Arkansas, a woman said a man with no arms followed her into a Walmart last September, telling her she had pretty feet and asking if she liked having people touch them. Later he began harassing her on Facebook. In June, a second woman said a man matching the same description (but wearing a face mask with “Brian” written on it) followed her around the same Walmart and wondered if she’d let him give her a foot massage. He apparently didn’t explain how that might work. A third woman identified Reams after viewing screenshots of his Facebook account; he approached her in a Kroger store.
Say What?
The Guardian reported on July 19 about a phenomenon among American preschoolers called the Peppa Effect. The hypothesis is that children who watched a lot of “Peppa Pig” during the pandemic lockdown have developed British accents and started using British terms like “mummy” (mommy), “give it a go” (try it) and “satnav” (GPS). Wall Street Journal reporter Preetika Rana tweeted that her niece “had an American accent before the pandemic. Now she has a posh English accent.” One responder agreed: “And for Christmas I had to put out a freaking mince pie for Father Christmas, or, as we call him here in the States, Santa Claus.”
Dubious Talent
Brit Paul Oldfield, aka Mr. Methane, enjoys the unusual ability to pass gas on command, Oddity Central reported on Oct. 1. He discovered his talent while doing yoga with his sister as a teenager. And in the entrepreneurial spirit, he’s found a way to make money with his gift. Oldfield travels around the world “entertaining” audiences with parodies of songs (he manipulates his buttocks to change the tone and pitch of his farts) and doing rapid-fire releases.
Wait, What?
“Appropriate disciplinary action has been taken” in Hazard, Kentucky, after photos surfaced on social media allegedly depicting students giving lap dances to high school staff, USA Today reported. The incidents from Oct. 26 were part of homecoming week; Superintendent Sondra Combs said festivities included a “man pageant,” which somehow led to the lap dances by scantily clad students. One of the grateful recipients was the school’s principal, Donald “Happy” Mobelini, who is also the mayor of Hazard. “Using this as a teachable moment,” Combs said, “we will provide social media training for our students and staff.” But, she emphasized, the district “has a tradition of excellence and academics in everything we do”—apparently including suggestive bumping and grinding.
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Babs De Lay
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for 2021Namaste
Julie “Bella” De Lay
Realtor 801-784-8618 bella@urbanutah.com
Selling homes for 8 years
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