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Go to realastrology.com for Rob Brezsny’s expanded weekly audio horoscopes and daily text-message horoscopes. Audio horoscopes also available by phone at 877-873-4888 or 900-950-7700.
ARIES (March 21-April 19)
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“I not only bow to the inevitable,” wrote Aries author Thornton Wilder. “I am fortified by it.” Wow. That was a brazen declaration. Did he sincerely mean it? He declared that he grew stronger through surrender, that he derived energy by willingly giving in to the epic trends of his destiny. I don’t think that’s always true for everyone. But I suspect it will be a useful perspective for you in the coming weeks, Aries.
TAURUS (April 20-May 20)
Vive la différence! Hooray for how we are not alike! I am all in favor of cultural diversity, neurodiversity, spiritual diversity and physical diversity. The coming weeks will be an excellent time to celebrate the bounties and blessings that come your way because of the holy gift of endless variety. The immediate future will also be a perfect phase to be extra appreciative that your companions and allies are not the same as you. I encourage you to tell them why you love how different they are. Now here’s poet Anna Akhmatova to weave it together: “I breathe the moonlight, and you breathe the sunlight, but we live together in the same love.”
GEMINI (May 21-June 20)
Gemini singer-songwriter Bob Dylan said, “I think of a hero as someone who understands the degree of responsibility that comes with his freedom.” I think that will be a key theme for you in the coming weeks. Dylan described the type of hero I hope you aspire to be. You are on the cusp of an invigorating liberation. To ensure you proceed with maximum grace, take on the increased responsibility that justifies and fortifies your additional freedom.
CANCER (June 21-July 22)
“I’d rather be seduced than comforted,” wrote author Judith Rossner. What about you, Cancerian? Do you prefer being enticed, invited, drawn out of your shell and led into interesting temptation? Or are you more inclined to thrive when you’re nurtured, soothed, supported and encouraged to relax and cultivate peace? I’m not saying one is better than the other, but I urge you to favor the first in the coming weeks: being enticed, invited, drawn out of your shell and led into interesting temptation.
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22)
A woman from Cornwall, UK, named Karen Harris was adopted as a little girl. At age 18, she began trying to track down her biological parents. Thirty-four years later, she was finally reunited with her father. The turning point: He appeared on the “Suggested Friends” feature on her Facebook page. I propose we make Karen Harris your inspirational role model. Now is a favorable time to find what you lost a while ago; to re-link with a good resource that disappeared from your life; to reclaim a connection that could be meaningful to you again.
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22)
Buddhist teacher Chögyam Trungpa told us, “Meditation is not a matter of trying to achieve ecstasy, spiritual bliss or tranquility.” Instead, he said that meditation is how we “expose and undo our neurotic games, our self-deceptions, our hidden fears and hopes.” Excuse me, Mr. Trungpa, but I don’t allow anyone, to dictate what meditation is and isn’t. Many other spiritual mentors I’ve enjoyed learning from say that meditation can also be a discipline to achieve ecstasy, spiritual bliss and tranquility. And I suspect that’s what Virgo meditators should emphasize in the coming weeks. You people are in a phase when you can cultivate extraordinary encounters with that all fun stuff. If you’re not a meditator, now would be a good time to try it out. I recommend the books Meditation for Beginners by Jack Kornfield and How to Meditate by Pema Chödrön. on each other for the achievement of shared and private goals.” That’s an unromantic thing to say, isn’t it? Or maybe it isn’t. Maybe it’s very romantic, even enchanting, to exult in how our allies help us make our dreams come true—and how we help them make their dreams come true. In my astrological opinion, the coming weeks will be an excellent time to focus on the synergies and symbioses that empower you.
SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21)
“It’s never too late to have a happy childhood!” declare many self-help gurus. “It’s never too early to start channeling the wise elder who is already forming within you,” declare I. Oddly enough, both of these guiding principles will be useful for you to meditate on during the coming weeks. According to my analysis of the astrological omens, you’re in an unusually good position to resurrect childlike wonder and curiosity. You’re also poised to draw stellar advice from the Future You who has learned many secrets that the Current You doesn’t know yet. Bonus: Your Inner Child and your Inner Elder could collaborate to create a marvelous breakthrough or two.
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21)
“A myriad of modest delights constitute happiness,” wrote poet Charles Baudelaire. That will be a reliable formula for you in the coming weeks, Sagittarius. You may not harvest any glorious outbreaks of bliss, but you will be regularly visited by small enchantments, generous details and useful tweaks. I hope you won’t miss or ignore these nurturing blessings because you’re fixated on making big leaps. Be grateful for modest delights.
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19)
I found out some facts about renowned Capricorn poet Robert Duncan (1919–1988), a bohemian socialist and trailblazing gay activist. He was adopted by theosophical parents who chose him because of his astrological make-up. They interpreted Robert’s dreams when he was a child. Later in life, he had an affair with actor Robert De Niro’s father, also named Robert, who was a famous abstract expressionist painter. Anyway, Capricorn, this is the kind of quirky and fascinating information I hope you’ll be on the lookout for. It’s time to seek high entertainment as you expedite your learning; to change your fate for the better as you gather interesting clues; to be voraciously curious as you attract stimulating influences that inspire you to be innovative.
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18)
“I always strive, when I can, to spread sweetness and light,” said P. G. Wodehouse. “There have been several complaints about it.” I know what he means. During my own crusade to express crafty, discerning forms of optimism, I have enraged many people. They don’t like to be reminded that thousands of things go right every day. They would rather stew in disgruntlement and cynicism, delusionally imagining that a dire perspective is the most intelligent and realistic stance. If you’re one of those types, Aquarius, I have bad news for you: The coming weeks will bring you invitations and opportunities to cultivate a more positive outlook. I don’t mean that you should ignore problems or stop trying to fix what needs correction. Simply notice everything that’s working well and providing you with what you need. For inspiration, read my essay: tinyurl.com/HighestGlory
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20)
Pastor and activist Charles Henry Parkhurst (1842–1933) said, “All great discoveries are made by people whose feelings run ahead of their thinking.” The approach worked well for him. In 1892, he discovered and exposed monumental corruption in the New York City government. His actions led to significant reforms of the local police and political organizations. In my astrological opinion, you should incorporate his view as you craft the next chapter of your life story. You may not yet have been able to fully conceive of your future prospects and labors of love, but your feelings can lead you to them.
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1. In two 6. Longtime advertiser at the Indy 500 9. Island north of Australia 14. Low-carb “stone age” diet 15. Informal shirt 16. Hirsch of “Once Upon a Time in Hollywood” 17. Best person at giving tours in a Utah city? 19. “This is ____ sudden!” 20. Wouldn’t stand for it? 21. Chicago trains 22. “The Naked and the Dead” author 23. Best person at photographing Granny Smiths and McIntoshes? 26. Cereal grass 29. Prefix with penultimate 30. Affaire de coeur 31. Singer Bareilles 33. ____ Paulo 36. Best person at introductions with a “Little Women” protagonist? 40. “Your point being ...?” 41. Role for Julia Roberts in “Ocean’s Eleven” 42. ____ eclipse 43. James of “The Godfather” 45. Mix at a party 46. Best person at listening to the birdsong of pigeons? 51. Writer who coined the term “banana republic” (1904) 52. “Dapper” guy 53. Model airplane purchase 56. Subside 57. Best person at holding it in during a long car ride? 60. “____ Easter Adventure” (TV episode where Swiper steals a bunny’s basket) 61. Dadaist Jean 62. LaBelle with a street in Philadelphia named after her 63. Harmonize 64. Org. with a lot of baggage? 65. Dined on, biblically
1. TikTok and Fitbit, for two 2. Law firm assistant, for short 3. Frequently 4. Gun, like an engine 5. What “2” can mean 6. Yet 7. Present, e.g. 8. Supporter for an adjustable shelf 9. It led to a 1773 protest 10. “And my reaction was ...,” in teenspeak 11. ____ Vanilli, group with three #1 hits in 1989 12. Name shared by two “Full House” actresses 13. Corp. shake-up 18. Didn’t spoil 22. “The Pinkprint” rapper 23. University donor, often 24. Its national drink is the pisco sour 25. Whittles (down) 26. Ancient pyramid builders 27. “That’s my cue!” 28. Earsplitting 31. Courtroom worker, for short 32. What a crop top may display 33. Perform in a glee club 34. Hypermeticulous 35. Fairy tale villain 37. Actor Keach 38. Lena of “Chocolat” 39. ____ fu 43. Popular cold and flu medicine 44. In a new way 45. Go for the gold? 46. “The Grapes of Wrath” family 47. “Heeere we go ... “ 48. Ache (for) 49. They’re often found in the trash 50. K, on a sorority sweatshirt 53. Sky box? 54. Loving 55. Title letters chanted in a 2011 Katy Perry hit 57. Jazzman Adderley 58. Emissions control grp. 59. Kit ____ bar
Last week’s answers
SUDOKU X
Complete the grid so that each row, column, diagonal and 3x3 square contain all of the numbers 1 to 9. No math is involved. The grid has numbers, but nothing has to add up to anything else. Solve the puzzle with reasoning and logic. Solving time is typically 10 to 30 minutes, depending on your skill and experience.
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Broker, Urban Utah Homes & Estates, urbanutah.com
St. Georgous
Over the past 10 years, the U.S. Census showed that St. George’s population had grown by 30.8%, from 72,897 people in 2010 to 95,342 in 2020. According to biggestuscities.com, St. George has grown 78.5% since 2000, growing faster than 88% of similarly sized cities since 2000.
One reason why St. George is growing so fast is that it’s family-friendly. There are now a ton of housing options for singles, couples, families and retirees, making the area the perfect place for growing families or couples thinking about taking the next step in home ownership. Plus, the crime rate is low.
Jordan Hess with the St. George Chamber of Commerce believes people were lured to the area after the coronavirus pandemic made remote work common “because although our cost of living and our house prices are rising, they’re still much lower than in California,” he said. It’s estimated that 50% or more of incoming residents hail from California and other states.
I just got back to SLC from Washington County, where I attended the Parade of Homes with my fellow agent, Amy. Trying to keep up with growth at the south end of the state is no different than keeping tabs on the population changes along the Wasatch Front—you have to see it to believe it.
There used to be just red dirt and off-road trails between St. George and Hurricane. Now, there are miles of asphalt and new home subdivisions. The airport that sat atop a mesa has been moved on to flat land close to the Utah/Arizona border. There is now enough spiritual demand to warrant two LDS temples, with a coral-colored stone edifice being built on 15 acres in the Washington Fields area known as Red Cliffs.
Local developers are competing with those from out of state who want a piece of the senior- and vacation-housing action. The recent census showed about a quarter of the city’s residents are full-time seniors, but the part-time “snowbirds” who come for the warm winters could be double that.
Short-term rentals (less than 28 days) are not allowed in single-family zones. Washington County voted in 2021 for a six-month moratorium on short-term rentals over concerns that the county’s current policies regarding the regulation of vacation rentals were overly broad and lacking clarity.
The recent Parade of Homes featured several new housing options that allowed for primary residences with attached rentals. One featured home, already sold at Stucki Farms, was nine bedrooms with unique rental possibilities attached to it.
Also common in St. George and Hurricane are “casitas,” accessory dwelling units on one level that are usually located behind a primary residence and used as short-term rentals or for family members to live separately from the main house.
I head south often, as my Salt Lake clients are moving there to work or retire and to golf! But wow, where is all the water going to come for this growth?! n
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NEWS of the WEIRD
The Neighbors
In the Bolivian city of El Alto, David Choque has alarmed his neighbors with his new decorating scheme, Reuters reported. Choque, a miner, hired an artist to create sculptures of longhorned skeletal devils from cement and wood and mount them on the outside of his home. Choque told Reuters that the sculptures hearken to life in Bolivian mines centuries ago, when indigenous men were forced into digging for silver. Colonial masters would use devil images to scare the men into working. But some neighbors fear that his decor signals satanic worship. Maria Laurel said she has heard about naked rituals in Choque’s house: “The truth is, it frightens me.” Choque pooh-poohs this idea: “Closed-minded people will think it’s something supernatural, but people need to open their minds and see it as a tourist attraction, something that can improve the area.”
More Than They Bargained For
Riders in the Bianchi Rock Cobbler, a California bike race known to be “stupidly hard,” expected the usual sore muscles after the 80-mile off-roader on Feb. 12. They did not expect, however, neck and back injuries suffered after being attacked by a bull during the race. Tony Inderbitzin told KMPH-TV that he did see the animal, but he usually bikes right by cows with no problem: “As I got 10 to 15 yards from him, he turned ... squared up, and I had maybe a second to brace myself or do anything. It’s a case of a mistaken identity from a cow to a bull.” The bull, after dislodging him from his bike, flipped Inderbitzin up in the air. Two other riders were also attacked but were able to finish the race and celebrate with beers.
Inexplicable
n When police officers in Orem, Utah, pulled over Victor Chavez-Zuniga, 27, for a broken headlight on Feb. 9, they discovered that he had several outstanding warrants, The Smoking Gun reported. As a result, they searched him and found something “extra” in his wallet: a severed finger in a cloth wrap, which had “what appeared to be pus and blood on it” and “was beginning to turn green and the fingernail appeared to be decayed.” Well, gross. Officer Bryce Mondragon also noticed a “foul smell.” Unfortunately, the mystery lives on: The court filing does not say who the finger belonged to or why Chavez-Zuniga had it, but he was held on a charge of desecration of a dead human body, among other charges.
n On Feb. 10, as a 38-year-old man walked with a friend and his two children in Frauenfeld, Switzerland, he felt an unexplained sharp pain in his lower body. Later, at the emergency room, doctors discovered he had been shot, Oddity Central reported. But the man and his companions heard no gunshot and saw no one with a firearm: “An accident, a crime, a shot fired from afar— we’re not ruling anything out at the moment,” said Matthias Graf, a police spokesman. Investigators are hoping the public can help; for now, they believe an air gun or a small-caliber weapon was used from a great distance, as a larger bullet would have caused more damage. The man is recovering. photos of the two of them. He checked with the city that it was OK to place the planter by her grave; they told him as long as the family didn’t object, it was fine. In January, while visiting Ford’s grave, Hagans was approached by a police officer, who asked him to get out of his car and said there was a warrant for his arrest. The charge was littering. “I said, ‘No, that’s impossible, there’s no way,’” Hagans said. Ford’s father, Tom Ford, had signed the arrest warrant, but had never contacted Hagans personally about the planter box.
Unruly Passenger
Perhaps Michael Brandon Demarre, 32, has never heard of social media. On Feb. 12, Demarre was charged in federal court in Oregon for interfering with a flight crew in an incident that happened the day before on a Delta flight between Salt Lake City and Portland, Oregon. During that trip, KSL-TV reported, Demarre allegedly “removed the plastic covering of the emergency exit handle and pulled on the handle with his full body weight,” witnesses said. Demarre was moved to the back of the plane and restrained until the flight landed and police took him into custody. As he explained his actions, Demarre said he grabbed the handle “so other passengers would video him, thereby giving him the opportunity to share his thoughts on COVID-19 vaccines.” He will remain in custody until his next court hearing.
Sign of the Times
Soho House, parent company of spas, hotels, lounges and bars around the world, is offering new members another perk: the opportunity to choose from 41 options for pronouns when they sign up on the club’s app, the New York Post reported. Choices go way beyond they/them, leaving one new member baffled: “It was hard for me to navigate 31 flavors of ice cream at Baskin-Robbins when I was a kid. The idea I have to pick from 41 pronouns to be a Soho House member seems a bit excessive.” But no worries; a new member can skip the process if it’s too overwhelming.
First, Do No Harm
Dr. Onyekachi Nwabuko, an ER doctor at UF Health Leesburg in Florida, was charged on Feb. 16 with three counts of battery after he allegedly struck a patient repeatedly, the Naples Daily News reported. Nwabuko reportedly was trying to confirm his suspicions that the patient was faking a medical condition. As such, he grabbed her hand and struck her in the face with it multiple times, leading to her IV line being ripped out and blood covering her face and arm. She was also bruised around her eye. One witness said Nwabuko was laughing and mocking the patient; finally, nurses intervened and stopped the doctor. In a curious statement, UF Health identified Nwabuko as “not employed by UF Health,” but said they could not provide any more information.
Oops
A French dad in the town of Messanges was desperate to limit his kids’ internet time, so he employed the use of a scrambler, which blocks connection to the web, the New York Post reported on Feb. 17. Unfortunately, the powerful tool also blocked the connections of the rest of the town and beyond—and now he faces up to six months in prison and a fine of up to $34,000. Authorities said the unnamed man just wanted to block the internet between midnight and 3 a.m., but when neighbors started reporting their outages, the local service providers investigated.
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