The Freshers' Week Edition 2013 by Claire Flynn

Editorial Welcome to the Freshers’ Week issue of the GUUi. I am Claire Flynn, GUU Libraries Convenor and Editor-In-Chief of this magazine. What an issue we have in store for all you newbies. From personal Freshers’ Week tales to Glasgow guides, we should have you setted into your new surroundings soon enough. And all you first years with a passion for writing, photography or art make sure and get involved in the GUUi- we have an open meeting this week in the Bridie Library in GUU at 3pm. After Freshers’ Week we will hold open meetings every Monday at 5pm to which you’re always welcome to. Email me at libraries@guu. co.uk if you have any questions. Claire Flynn GUU Convenor Of Libraries Editor-In-Chief

Contents 3 The Board - Gavin Tulloch, President 4 The Hotlist 5 Features- The Best Week Of Your Life? 6 Features- Freshers’ Week Memories 7 Politics - Student Democracy 8 Politics- My First Military Coup... 9 Lifestyle- Places To Go 10 Lifestyle - Who What Wear & 5 Minute Saviour 11 Culture- A Musical Guide To Glasgow 12 Culture- Love In The Past Participle 13 Column- Erasmust! & The Student’s Pocket Guide To Thailand 14 Column- Sandy Says 15 Column- #camplife 17 Sport- Meeting The GUSA President 18 Clubs & Societies- Fancy Coming For A Run? Editor-in-Chief Claire Flynn Features Editor Harriet Johnston Politics Editor Kathryn Stevenson Lifestyle Editor Kirsty McKenzie Culture Editor Kate Whitaker

Contributors Kirsty McKenzie Harriet Johnston Kathryn Stevenson Stuart Morrison Romain Ricchi Alice Johnson Kate Whitaker Eva Milne Nicole Hendry Ailsa Pender Beatrice Cook Andrew Foggo

Column Editor Lucy Keown

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Sports Editor (GUSA Publicity Convenor) Stuart Morrison Cover Design and Artwork James Yates Sponsorship and Advertising Joseph Meaden

If you’d like to contribute to the GUUi in any way (editorially, writing or photography) e-mail: libraries@guu.co.uk The opinions expressed in this publication do not represent those of Glasgow University Union.

The Board

Hello Freshers! I am the President of Glasgow University Union and it gives me great pleasure to welcome you to both the university and to your first edition of the GUUi. I would be lying if I were to say that I wasn’t envious of your status as a Fresher this week. With such a packed line-up of events and activities across the whole of campus to choose from, this year’s Freshers’ Week is looking like it could well be one of the most memorable weeks of your life so far. Glasgow University Union plays an important role in making this week an unforgettable experience for you. We have a host of events ranging from top class entertainments, such as our Radio 1 DJs and fantastic bands, to stimulating discussion at our debates and talks, to a number of welcome events, cultural activities and wild parties. Every night of your Freshers’ Week we will be running our club night, which sees the old building completely transformed into an extraordinary and unique party venue. And there are plenty of opportunities to get involved and meet new people, through our various games and competitions, offering the best (and worst) prizes in Glasgow. But the experience doesn’t stop at the end of this week – in the day-to-day life of GUU, Fresher’s Week is merely a 10-second snap chat. Everything that we run during this week is just a taster of our regular entertainments and activities schedule, and you can find debating events, entertainment, games activities, club nights and much more on a weekly basis throughout term time. Even this magazine represents a significant aspect of our union, that of the libraries, which can provide a safe haven during exam period and in the face of looming deadlines. For me, it was the Freshers’ Helpers who drew me into Glasgow University Union when I was a Fresher. Our yellow-clad team of helpers are there to help you, introduce you to the union, answer your questions and generally make sure that you get the most out of your week. They are perhaps the friendliest group of people you will meet and if you have any queries, or just need someone to chat to, give them a shout. And if you see me around, make sure to come and say ‘hello’ – or, at a minimum, come and get a welcome drink on me at President’s Pint on Monday afternoon. This week you will take the huge leap into your journey through university and we’re here to provide the resounding splash. Have a great week. Gavin Tulloch President Gavin Tulloch President president@guu.co.uk

THE HOTLIST

The Hotlist

From what’s blazing hot at the moment to what’s blatantly not.

The arrival of Fresher’s is equal to the hysteria you would get if you

crossed Pippa Middleton’s bum with Beyoncé’s Superbowl performance and the latest apple product. We are all very excited.

Red Hot

Luke Warm

Pass a jacket

The rumoured launch of Daft Punk’s “Get Lucky” condoms. Only worry is if they decide to expand the line – what next? A heavy duty pack for “Harder Better Faster Stronger”? And the less said about “Digital Love” the better. The cycle of shame is the new tramp trot. Come Sunday mornings, smudged eyeliner and broken heels will be whizzing past you in a blur of regret. Gin imps. Your infamous drinking alter ego that arrives after consuming too much of the good stuff. Often resulting in serious and unfortunate ‘Gincidents’. Being back to the library and its never ending flight of stairs. If there was ever a staircase for killing someone and making it look like an accident – this is it. People that are studying the first week back instead of being in the union. I don’t understand that level of discipline. Go get yourself a pint of fun.

Bloody cold

Arctic Tundra

With the exception of Japanese business men, no one loves Karaoke more than GUU. Hoping this is the year it finally dies out. But I’m just bitter because my voice is similar to the sound Macy Gray would make if you tried to move her injured body. The pressure of playing music at parties. This is a very real fear. I, myself, only have old school dance music on my Ipod, which apart for being the reason I am now such a great dancer, is also hugely embarrassing and why my Ipod will never be used. Some of my playlists are just 2 songs on repeat 20 times like I’m a crazed psycho getting pumped up to murder the Prime Minister. The fact that BBQ Kings closed down. This is something I will never get over. My love for that place knew no bounds. I know people that would eat a family sized meat feast even if it dropped upside down on the road, or would tell friends that the club was full in order to ditch a night out and go straight for food. None of these people are me. Obviously. -Kirsty McKenzie

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Features

The Best Week Of Your Life?

Harriet Johnston talks about her own Freshers’ Week experience and why it’s important to remember it’s only the beginning...

built Freshers’ Week up in my head. Completely. I’d waited for years for this week, had friends go to uni and have their Freshers’ and tell me it was THE greatest week, so much fun, the best fun of your life, oh-it-nevergets-better…I personally didn’t find it so. Now entering my third year, I’d say it’s less of Freshers’ Week but the whole of first year that is one of the best experiences of my life. The first week, I was absolutely terrified. Perhaps I’d built it up too much. Perhaps I wasn’t in the right halls. But…if you’re finding Freshers’ Week isn’t quite how you’re shaping it up so be, then let me give you the lowdown. Freshers’ Week…it’s the week you’re most excited for all summer, with nights you’ll never remember but cringe over the photos that will emerge later on Facebook. You’ll dress up, get messy, attempt to make your tiny room look a little more homely, sign up to hundreds of clubs and societies that you never end up heading to and, most importantly, you’ll meet people. I personally found Freshers’ Week harder than expected. Nobody tells you it can sometimes be a bit scary, a bit intimidating. It’s just so much! SO many events, so many discussions over which union to go to, (is a white t-shirt party better than a foam party?!?), so many new friends. A stand out moment in my Freshers’ week was during

the Freshers’address where we were told ‘some of the people you’re sitting next to, may be your best friends for the next four years’. I remember looking around and thinking….really? These people, who I barely know, I’ve just met, who I fall out of GUU and QMU with…these will be my best friends?! I can safely say some of those around me do not remain my best friends. They are the inevitable “Freshers’ friends” who are amazing during the first few weeks of uni, but slowly slip from the radar. But there are some who manage to put up with me, and have done throughout these past two years. They are my oldest friends at uni, the people who I can barely remember meeting but who ultimately are the greatest support. So keep an open mind; first impressions are important, but they aren’t the most important. The guy who threw up all over your flat on night one could turn out to be the greatest guy you meet.

For me, there were un-missable moments of Freshers’ Week and will be again this year. All events at both unions have been meticulously planned to give you variety and to give you tough choices between which to pick each night (personally I think sticking with the GUU is always a safe bet, but who am I to speak?) . My first viewing of the legendary Iron Stomach will always stick out in my mind. I’ve never seen vomit like it. And the Freshers’ Address, where formal speeches and the magnificent Bute Hall meets exceptional chants and slightly boozy smelling helpers. I’ll never forget my first drink in Beer Bar, chatting to a helper

2012 GUU Helpers setting off to the Freshers’ Address

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Features open because you never know, the girl in the flat above you who you think is a bit stinky may turn out to be your best friend (perhaps with a splash of deodorant).

who seemed genuinely interested in my gap yah stories and uni plans. And every night, celebrity DJs and pints of fun galore. I’m not sure my shoes have ever recovered from all the booze spilt on them.

The thing is Fresher’s Week can be difficult and it’s okay to say you’re finding it so. Everyone else is too. It’s stressful, worrying about finding friends and constantly making an effort to be cool and funny and to have the best fancy dress outfit. Everybody builds it up to be one of the greatest weeks in your whole university experience, and it is… but to be completely honest? Don’t let it stress you out. If you aren’t enjoying your halls, or feel like you haven’t made a connection with anyone yet, don’t panic. Join clubs and chat to people in introductory lectures (if you can make it to them after that heavy night at GUU). Fresher’s week is a great week, but it’s also just a week. No pressure. It’s all about trying new things and putting yourself out there, but the whole of uni is like that! Some people you meet in Freshers’ Week will be your best friends throughout, but others will be those people you avoid catching the eye of in your third year. If I had one thing to say about Freshers’, from my own experience, it’s only uphill from there. And considering how much fun 90% of Freshers’ is, imagine how good the rest of your time is going to be.

For me, GUU was the place I felt at home, and Freshers’ Week was the base for that. If I had tips or if I could do anything again? Get involved in every single thing possible, even if you feel like you’ve made your friends or you’ve got your groups. Chat to people, even though it feels like you’ve had the same conversation over and over again. For me, conversation will always be “Hi I’m Harriet from Newcastle” “ Oh Newcastle? Where’s your accent/but originally where are you from?/ You don’t sound like you’re from Newcastle”. This is just something that you have to do… they don’t know you’ve already had this chat a million times. Stay (as much as you can) fresh, load up on good stodgy hangover food as much as possible, and get involved with day events too! You want to remember meeting at least SOME of your new pals. There’s nothing worse than wandering down University Avenue to be waved at by a complete stranger, who you have no idea you’ve ever met (believe me, I’ve been there). Uni and especially first year is such a great opportunity to meet new people and to try new things. Keep that mind

-Harriet Johnston

Freshers’ Week Memories

In order to get you absolutely buzzing about the upcoming week we’ve gathered a few special memories from current GU students about their own Freshers’. We’ll keep them anonymous... Trying my first strawpedo and then spitting it out all over my white top. It was cherry ﬂavoured. Then I got kicked out ‘cause the bouncer thought I’d spewed... unforgettable. The first night of Freshers’ Week I was on a mission to get people out... I clearly got too excited and passed out at about 9 o’clock. Embarrassing start to the year. Following around a certain Freshers’ helper and telling him I thought he was hot when I was covered in face paint. Not my finest hour. Amongst multiple cooking disasters and losing all my possessions on the first night out, I also committed the cardinal sin of ﬂatcest- the wrong and regrettable act of getting with someone you will have to spend the next year living with. In my defence the next morning I innocently asked ‘why didn’t we go out last night?’ I genuinely had no idea.

(Rather desperately) chatting up my only ﬂatmate on the first night for around two hours before he finally told me he had a girlfriend. Breakfast was decidedly awkward. Vomming on Great Western Road one morning of Freshers’ Week, and hearing mutterings of some elderly people passing by. I told them ‘YOLO’ only to start vomming again a few steps later. They thought I was cool.

One night when I was really drunk I thought it would be funny to put a slug in my ﬂatmate’s drink... Luckily she spotted it before she ate it though.

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Politics

Student Democracy

What you see now is a group of rowdy (and rarely sober) students in different coloured t-shirts. What

you are actually seeing are the four different student elected bodies at the University of Glasgow. Each student body has their own board, the composition of which is different across each but the way in which people come to hold these positions is the same. That’s where you come in. It is your responsibility to elect your favourite candidates. But how will you know who to vote for? And where will you vote? Don’t panic, it will all become abundantly clear in March. Campaign teams will be all over campus (and your newsfeed) promoting their candidate and urging you to vote. We advise that you save yourself the trouble of trying to dip and dive around campus and embrace the excitement of the election. And you never know- it could be your name on the ballot in the years to come. To make sense of these student bodies, I thought I’d paint you a picture of university life.

Students Representative Council (SRC): The Lines The SRC are the outlined sketch ensuring students have structured representation. The SRC’s role is to ensure that all students are represented at every level within the bureaucratic nightmare which is the university. SRC offer many services to help aid your transition into university life such as financial advice, a second hand bookshop and a free mini bus service. “It’s a mammoth task just to get your head around all the acronyms alone- SSDC, EdPSC, EDSC, RPSC, LTC... I could go on and on.” Jessica McGrellis (SRC President)

Glasgow University Union (GUU) and Queen Margaret Union (QMU): The Colour Whether you choose to paint with yellow or red, the two Unions will add colour and excitement to your university experience. Both unions offer weekly events and entertainment as well as catering services throughout term time. The unions represent a wide range of interests making it a great place to meet likeminded people. So find your favourite colour and get painting.

“Oh

“The QM keeps your best interests at heart by offering students meaningful opportunities to run it.” – Callum MacInnes. (QM President) “The GUU is a home to many; a friend to all.” - Gavin Tulloch (GUU President)

Glasgow University Sports Association (GUSA): The Water Pot GUSA is the student body that will keep your brush in need of hydration. GUSA facilitate a huge spectrum of sports clubs which offer a place for all abilities. If you have participated at representative level, you can be sure to feel at home with our athletes. Or if you simply want to give sport a go, this is your opportunity to get involved. Or for those of us who just enjoy a ‘gym and swim’ the Stevenson building is the place for you. “GUSA are the fittest and most physically active student body on campus” –Stuart Law (GUSA President) -Kathryn Stevenson

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Politics

My First Military Coup... Or was it?

It is said a revolution devours its children and it seems at first glance that the Egyptian case fits all too easily into this historical precedent.

When the Egyptian people took to the streets in 2011 and brought Hosni Mubarak’s thirty-year rule to an end, very few of them thought they would be converging on Tahir Square once again just two years later. The Arab Spring of 2010/11 saw civil unrest, mass protests and in some cases regime change in a huge number of Middle Eastern and North African countries. Now, more than two years after the civil unrest in Tunisia sparked the widest mass protest movement since the revolutions of 1989 in Eastern Europe, the problems and complaints that first brought the people out in protest are still live issues in a majority of the countries affected by the Arab Spring. I visited Cairo at the start of July and as I prepared to leave I remained unsure as to what was in store for me. In the weeks building up to my trip the outbreak of protests and violence once again began to grab the attention of western media. While I avoided any danger in my short stay in Cairo I was fortunate enough to experience the atmosphere in a country undergoing monumental political change and speak to people on both sides of a debate that is still costing the lives of many Egyptian people. After democratically elected leader Muhamed Morsi took executive power back from the military led transitional government that controlled Egypt after the fall of Mubarak there were few in the country that truly believed the troubles were over and that a successful democratic transition had taken place. Winning by a slim majority, the Muslim Brotherhood candidate appeared only to fuel the divisions his election was supposed to ease. Many of the younger generation that I spoke to in Cairo had only one word to describe the Muslim Brotherhood; ‘terrorists’. For the young people, whose relentless protests in Tahir square had spearheaded the

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toppling of Mubarak, the election of an Islamist conservative represented to them a high jacking of the secular democracy they had fought, and in many cases, died for. For the people who lived and worked in the Nasr City area I was staying in there was a difference of opinion. While many were not in ideological agreement with the policies of Morsi they believed that they had gone through too much pain creating their democracy to tear it down after only a year. These disagreements once again manifested themselves into running street battles (thankfully a safe distance from me). On the night of the 3rd of July I stood on the roof of my apartment building and looked out as parts of the city celebrated the military’s removal, by force, of Egypt’s first democratically elected president. I knew from my conversations that not everyone was in favour of this direction of events, but looking out at the multiple fireworks displays, the sounds of mass cheering and the relentless car horns it was difficult not to get caught up in the excitement. The only reminder that this may not have been solely the will of the people was the circling of military helicopters over the city and the nagging doubt in the back of my mind that some of the fireworks I was hearing could easily have been gun shots. For those that take the events of this summer as another act of direct democracy, removal of a leader who was not acting for the people’s interest in Egypt’s fledgling regime, then there are some positives to see in the developments in the country. However, for those troubled by the subtle signs of where power may actually lie, there is more to be concerned about. The military handed back power to the people once, only to have to seize it back under the possible shroud of popular protest. This time they may not be so quick to give the country back to its people. -Stuart Morrison

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Lifestyle

Places To Go

Edinburgh may have pandas and a castle but everyone is deeply jealous of all that Glasgow has to offer. Cosy coffee shops and hidden bars, whether you are starting or ending your day, this is exactly where to go…

Vodka Wodka – Want your night to instantly get better? Head here and order a Kamikaze pitcher. Pretty much does what the name suggests, wild nights and blackouts almost guaranteed .Don’t say we didn’t warn you. Bloc – Could there be anything better than a Soviet Union themed bar? Open till 3? With its own orchestra? Take your best group of pals and stay here till the wee small hours. You’ll never have a bad night here whether you are coming for a quiet acoustic night, spotting lead singers of local bands or having a riotous evening with friends.

has a great atmosphere and an even better fish menu. Order the Arbroath smokies baked with tomato, cream and parmesan. Charlie Rocks- Drag your hungover self out of bed and come here to recover with a full breakfast fry up. Cosy booths and cheap food – not much more you can ask for the morning after the night before. Hanoi Bike Shop – Hands down the best restaurant in Glasgow. This jem is hidden behind Byres Road and within the hustle and bustle of this Vietnamese joint is a menu so good you’ll want to order everything at once. Just don’t leave without trying the peanut butter dip. And the prawns. Book to avoid disappointment, but there is now a takeaway menu so there is no excuse for missing out.

Artisan Roast – Hipsters unite. Pull on your vintage jumper and head here for a cosy afternoon. A true pilgrimage for all those with ironic moustaches and big fat framed glasses. The coffee is pretty good too. Curl up with your expertly hand roasted coffee in one of the welcoming corners and don’t forget to order a brioche with jam.

Naked Soup – Delicious deal where you can get a soup, sandwich, drink and fruit for a fiver. Pretty much an instant pick me up kit.

Booly Mardys – Here is where you come for your highclass hangovers. Ask for a fry up and a Bloody Mary and you’ll instantly feel way more sophisticated than you ever should after a night out.

Hillhead Bookclub – No list on Glasgow would be complete without this West End haunt. Ping pong tables, dim lighting and overstuffed sofas make this a great place to go for brunch and a nosy around the fair that they host every Sunday. Just as great during the week where they offer affordable cocktails, delicious steak pies and good music.

Café Gandolfi – When your parents come through to treat you – take them here. This welcoming wee place

Ashton Lane, home to many popular West End haunts including Vodka Wodka.

Stravaigan – A packed wee place on Gibson Street, which is great for a quiet drink or a special date. Order the mussels and a big glass of gin.

-Kirsty McKenzie -Photography by Romain Ricchi Hanoi Bike Shop

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Hillhead Bookclub

WHO WHAT WEAR

Lifestyle

Helping you to understand your new surroundings that little bit more, Kirsty McKenzie explains the Glasgow cliques and their fashion styles- by the end of the week you’ll ﬁnd the one you belong to.

Hand on the Wasters- with a shared love of tight dresses, high heels and Pitbull’s back catalogue, these girls bond in Viper over the perfect teacup pose and fantastic use of an Instagram filter. Fresher Week Dream: A streak free tan and taking home a fit rugby lad. Fresher Week Reality: A tear streaked face and a take away pizza.

Acid Kids- It’s all about Sub Club, scrunchies and dingy sportswear for these guys. Glasgow’s edgy kids don their snapbacks and backpacks for an alternative night with repetitive music.

Fresher Week Dream: Copping off with the club DJ and heading to a dubstep basement party. Fresher Week Reality: Getting with the club flyer boy and ending up at his dingy basement flat.

Hipsters – Found at the back of Nice N’ Sleazy drinking an organic White Russian with a badger beard, ‘ironic’ deck shoes and playing on a tiny ukulele.

Fresher Week Dream: The perfect vintage jumper complete with perfect retro stains. Fresher Week Reality: The perfect vintage jumper destroyed by not so perfect kebab stains.

Jocks – Boys that gym and girls that swim charge around campus in a blurry of chants and garish gold nylon. They think they’re BNOCS, we can’t get past the fact they freely choose to wear yellow headbands. Fresher Week Dream: Become team captain/win the game/ pass the finish line. Fresher Week Reality: Become team boy or girl/ lose the drinking game/ pass out. -Kirsty McKenzie

5 Minute Saviour Missing your mum’s cooking already? Don’t reach for the takeaway menu just yet! Halve and pit 2 avocados. Add a mixtue of salsa, basil, lemon, garlic, salt and pepper. Top with goats cheese and breadcrumbs and bake at 200 degrees for 5 minutes or until the cheese has melted. Enjoy! -Kirsty McKenzie

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Culture

A Musical Guide To Glasgow

Between Alice’s guide to gig venues in Glasgow and the personal experiences of GUU Board Members, you will be desperate to go out and see the Glasgow music scene for yourself.

Having spawned the likes of Franz Ferdinand, Travis

and Frightened Rabbit, our little city has certainly made a name for itself as a gem in the UK’s musical crown, and it’s therefore hardly surprising that you’ve got your pick of venues and bars showcasing hundreds of bands and solo artists hoping to be the next Paolo Nutini. It’s the bars hidden down Glasgow’s secret lanes and side-streets which really make this city a top contender for having the best music scene in the country. 10. The Arches Situated under Glasgow Central Railway Station, The Arches is host to 65,000 square feet of fun. Bar and restaurant by day, this place really comes alive at night, with enough student-friendly club nights and gig performances to ensure that you won’t get bored of coming back for a dance under the arches. 9. Tchai Ovna Trying out this speciality tea-house is an absolute must when living in the West End. Not only is this a fantastic spot to drink some ‘faerie’s blood’ with the rest of your hippie mates under a canopy of trees and shisha, but turns out that they also hold a plethora of musical events and performances during the week, having become particularly popular with bands such as Franz Ferdinand and Belle And Sebastian. 8. Mono Turns out Mono isn’t just a disease. In fact, the Glasgow version has made quite a name for itself as one of the best places to drink beer and eat vegan EVER. If salad isn’t your thing, they also organise hundreds of album launches and free shows throughout the year.

7. The 13th Note The 13th Note is one of the longer-established music venues in Glasgow, with a ‘confidently scruffy’ attitude and retro-inspired interior complete with jukebox and walls adorned with artwork by the locals. As far as Merchant City goes, this is one of the more unpretentious, casual bars to eat and drink in, with the gig space downstairs a favourite among bands and music lovers alike. And apparently they have great hummus. 6. Stereo This bar and music venue situated on Renfield Lane is part of a building designed by none other than Charles Rennie Mackintosh; what a guy! They have a great selection of decent-priced acoustic nights running in the basement as well as the odd clubnight showcasing hot new DJs! 5. Flat 0/1 If you’re feeling nostalgic and aren’t quite ready to give up the high-school house parties yet, then you’ll probably feel most at home here. Situated on beautiful Bath Street, this party-flat-turned-nightclub is something of a haven for White Lightning-loving house and electro fans. With super friendly ‘flatmates’ willing to bring you tea and toast between pints, the focus here really lies on bringing you great music whilst chilling on the comfy sofas or in the bath, with guest DJs almost every night. Consider Flat 0/1 a home away from home. 4. Oran Mor You will become familiar with the Oran Mor, as the ‘interesting’ blue hoop around the spire of this former Parish Church has become something of a North Star to those staggering home from a night out. This is probably one of the best venues for those seeking out more well-known bands- their previous acts include Bastille, Amy Winehouse and Calvin Harris. However, the Oran Mor also supports Glasgow up-and-coming musicians with low-key gigs and acoustic nights too.

“The favourite gig of my two years in Glasgow so far was Bob Dylan at Braehead Arena. The man is 72 years old and still on the road… his voice sounded like a toad being kicked but it was still the best performance I’ve ever seen. Other favourites have been Secret Motorbikes and Honeyblood who played killer sets in the city centre – and of course Admiral Fallow during Fresher’s Week last year.” - Tom Deering, GUU Entertainments Convenor

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Oran Mor

3. Sub Club Founded in 1987, it’s no wonder that this place is still running at it is regularly voted among the best in the world for both music and atmosphere. On Saturday nights, it plays host to club night ‘Subculture’ which is officially the longest-running techno night EVER - even a raging fire in 1999 couldn’t stop it - so it’s no wonder that guest DJs from all over the world flock to play there (apparently it’s a firm favourite of Hot Chip!) “Glasgow is great for up-and-coming bands. The Sweet Melindas, The Pretty Mess, and Touring Barcelona are all finding their feet in the city and put on great, fun gigs. On the other hand, I’ve also seen established legends, such as Elton John, Rod Stewart, Meat Loaf and even Kenny Rogers playing at the SECC - right on my doorstep.” -Gavin Tulloch, GUU President

Culture

2. Nice N’ Sleazy This city centre number has a decent gig and club space downstaire, a friendly vibe and the best White Russians ever, all at student-friendly prices. From Glasgow bands to the jukebox, resident DJs to Open Mic nights, Nice n’Sleazy is, in my opinion, one of the best bars in town to hear good music and have a few cheeky drinks. 1. King Tut’s Wah Wah Hut With a capacity of just 300, there is always a fantastic atmosphere here; something which has been recognised across the country, as in 2011 NME voted it ‘Britain’s Best Small Venue’. Some of the world’s greatest have played here, including The Killers, Radiohead, Biffy Clyro and Snow Patrol to name but a few. No wonder the place has its own record label! -Alice Johnson -Photograph by Romain Ricchi

Love In The Past Participle I had never been to the Fringe before. Stepping onto the Royal Mile I was bombarded with leaflets, surrounded by camera flashes and caught in a stream of neon pirates, burlesque dancers, unicycles, fire eaters, aliens, monsters...

Escaping the chaos I eventually found Surgeons’ Hall and took my seat in a quiet, dark, little room to watch ‘Love in the Past Participle’. StaG’s four person play, written, performed and directed by Glasgow University students, won the New Works Festival 2013 and was selected by a panel of judges to appear in the Fringe. The production tells an emotive story of the development and dissolution of two relationships. Ella Bendall, Andrew Galea, Sarah Gibbon and Robert Scobie’s interweaving monologues describe, with a relatable accuracy, the awkwardness, uncertainty, ecstasy and despair of love, sex and heartbreak. The script, written by former Glasgow University student, John May, is touchingly light hearted and often comical despite the suggestion of deeper issues, such as homophobia. Everything about Love in The Past Participle is intimate: the venue, the themes, the language. The minimalistic setting emphasises the subtly of the script; four chairs in front of four desks and a singular spotlight highlighting each speaker in turn. With no stage to raise them above the watching audience, the production feels like an honest, one sided conversation, as if the characters are confiding their stories with close friends. Well written and well performed, the show sold out eight of its fourteen Edinburgh performances and received glowing reviews from critics. Love in the Past Participle will be performed again in Freshers’ Week and at an upcoming Stonewall fundraiser at The Lighthouse in Glasgow. Don’t miss it! -Kate Whitaker

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Column

The Student’s Pocket Guide to Thailand

Erasmust!

Erasmus is quite possibly the best invention since Malteasers, and as such we are dedicating a column to those abroad for this year of study. Want your adventures, disasters and tales of joy or woe in print for all your jealous friends at home to see? Get in touch with us at libraries@guu.co.uk and become the writer you always dreamed of being. Or let us edit you into one.

Desiderius Erasmus of Rotterdam, you babe. Yes, you did pop your wee globetrotting-priesty-Dutch clogs in 1536, but it’s never too late to say thank you, right?

Mr Erasmus; he is responsible for a wholly momentous legacy - one which has catapulted 2.2 million students from higher education institutions across the entire continent – from Glasgow to Lisbon, Reykjavik to Paris – to eat, drink, party, (err, study?), live and dive boldly in to a cultural exchange like no other. Mr Erasmus: the unofficial matchmaker of every other mate you knew who went to Berlin or Perugia, Dubrovnik or Stockholm. And, he behind that £3750 grant you received for studying in Madrid, which you thoughtfully splashed on a galavant through Morocco and a snow-flaked riot in the Pyrenees... Happily, I roll the die to Copenhagen, to study Law for my third year of university! That means delving into Scandinavia’s hippest metropolises, a place consistently voted the happiest place to live on earth, where bikes are the single mode of transport, and Tuborg and Carlsberg the only liquid on tap. And, with unreserved thanks to Erasmus, such a year is actually affordable: I’m one of many set to reap the benefits of an initiative annually chucking 450 billion Euros at the latest Erasmus generation - all the while studying under the roof of a worldclass university. Pretty cushy, huh? Right now? I am like, crazy excited, hyperventilatingish excited, for what I’ve been told by so many returned Erasmus-ees will be the best year of my life! And even if it’s not, at least I’ll never look back, and wonder “what if”, right?... -Eva Milne

People say that before you’re tied to a house, drowning

in mortgages and spluttering in formula milk, you should get out into the big wide world and see what all the fuss is about. If only it were that simple. When summer hits most students find their bank balance far redder than any sunburnt shoulders. Yet all is not lost. There are ways around the seemingly cash guzzling pursuit of backpacking... AND you might still be able to get that unfortunate tattoo in Bangkok. If you’re lucky. Start saving now, follow these five tips and summer 2014 is set. 1. Firstly, flights- www.skyscanner.net is a perfect start for this. Start early and save lots of pennies better spent on the afore-mentioned tacky tattoos. I’ll have my name wrongly translated in Thai, please. 2. Now decide your route, but loosely. Winging it is rewarding and surprisingly easy, but book the first few nights at www.hostelbookers.com to avoid rip-offs. Depending on how many home comforts you are prepared to sacrifice you can find rooms anywhere from £1.93 a night. They’re a great place to meet other travellers too! 3. Haggling. I know the British are famed for their reserved disposition but the dreaded H word can really work wonders for your budget. It’s not only encouraged in markets but expected- buy on a first price and you’ll have been seriously had. 4. Food. If you are careful you can get by spending less than £3 a day easily. Street food is a perfect way to both lap up the local culture and save you a few bob. 5. Transport can be simple and cheap if done well. When getting trains always opt for third class. You can end up getting a four hour journey for little more than a pound, which also goes for the BTS Skytrain. To see the plentiful tourist spots along the river, take the Chao Phraya express boat; cheap as chips and as good as any tour. They say every tourist gets scammed at least once in Bangkok, more often than not without them even knowing. But Thailand is a big place, keep your wits about you, stick to your plan and it can be a backpacker’s paradise for half the cost you might expect. Start saving and planning now; even you could conjure up your own adventures to get you through those interminable nights of gas bills and screaming sprogs. -Nicole Hendry

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Sandy Says

Column

For all those with soul-wrenching secrets, burning questions about love, life and why

Viper is marketing Pints of Fun, Sandy is here to give some clarity on those out of the ordinary aspects of life which sometimes can get us all in a muddle. A veteran at life, Sandy’s motto is ‘Help me to help you’, and with that we welcome our new favourite Aunty to tell us what’s what. It’s totally anonymous, totally un-serious and totally legit (ahem)... Dear Sandy I have always been really skinny- it’s just my body type, fast metabolism yano- I was teased when I was younger and hoped that one day i would grow into some womanly curves. I’m now 21 and remain flat-chested and boyish...when i walk in da club no one takes a second glance other than to wonder..is that girl underage?? I want to change and have looked into plastic surgery..I have saved up money to go to university but am thinking of using it for surgery. What should I do?? Help me Sandy! From Flat-chested, Flat-hearted and Flat-out-of-hope Dear Flat-out-of-hope, Perhaps you should start looking for a man more interested in posteriors? More commonly known as an ass-man, he wouldn’t mind you being so flat, dear. Better perk up your personality though, no one finds whinging attractive. And don’t even think about surgery, you are beautiful. Unless you’re a AA, that’s just unnatural. Dear Sandy, Yesterday was the fourth time I walked in on my flatmate and his girlfriend having sex. He keeps borrowing my stuff and they’re always at it, it was bound to happen... but four times!? The girlfriend is now making him live with someone else next year, but I swear I’m not a perv and he’s my best mate! I’m just oblivious sometimes! What should I do? Signed I’m Not A Creep I’m Just A Victim Dear Just A Victim, Knock. And maybe stop pleading your innocence so strongly, I’m starting to agree with the girlfriend... Well thanks for your time Sandy! Remember, if YOU have a problem, Sandy can help you! E-mail her at libraries@guu.co.uk, a totally confidential service for all your agony aunt needs, or tweet her at @guuimagazine . Until next time.

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Column

#camp

I was struggling with deciding on how to spend my summer - after applying for numerous internships (unpaid ones, I may add) and not receiving any replies, going home and back to my old job seemed bleak. No thank you sir; I wanted an exciting summer. I thought I would take advantage of my dual nationality (i.e. no working visa required) and decided to apply to summer camps in America for a few months of fun and frolicking. I applied late, really late, and got job offers about 10-14 days before I had to be in the country. Excitement indeed! And so, I did the proper student thing and asked the Bank of Mum and Dad to supply me with some cash money to pay for flights and off I went- see ya Scotland! The camp I worked at was one that one of my best friends from school had worked at for two years so I figured it would be a good fit for me. It’s an all-girls camp, which I thought would be a good change of pace, and in truth I think it was. But my god, I underestimated how bitchy 450 females could be while living together for 8+ weeks. Kitties got claws. It was fun, most of the time, but I also forgot one minor detail being my slight dislike for children, in making my fantastic summer plans. I like kids, so long as they belong to someone else. So long as they can clean and clothe themselves. So long as they can hold a conversation. Silly me. Now, I would describe myself as laid back and relaxed but my word did these little darlings wind me up. Children are tough and God bless my mother for dealing with four of us. The kids pissed me

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off so much I created a countdown on my phone entitled “The kids fuck off”. And my lord was I happy to see them go. Not that I didn’t like them, or have my favourites, but I was ready for some child-free time after 8 weeks with the little angels. It was great to goof round with them though and not worry about making a fool of myself; not an eyelid was batted at me falling over at soccer, falling off the boats or spilling water everywhere at dinner. I have been accused of being a bit of a GUSA girl in my time here at Glasgow and I have to admit, I did enjoy playing all the sports, doing dance, gymnastics and sail, making all things crafty and ceramicy, and having a bit of an unintentional detox from alcohol. I had fun being a total idiot with the girls and just generally laughing at myself, the derpy kids and the other counsellors.

“I like kids, so long as they belong to someone else” My job was ‘General Counsellor’, I went with the seven 10 year olds from my bunk to each of their activities and made sure they all had the proper clothing, equipment, were slathered in sunscreen and bug spray and were on time. For those of you who know me well, I am most definitely lacking in punctuality. I am always late. Add seven kids to the scenario and you’d expect chaos, right? WRONG. I managed to get them to their activities, correctly prepared and on time. Well, the majority of days. Therefore, I feel I have come out of a camp an improved woman. I also believed that I would come back a skinnier, more tanned version of myself. Alas, this was only going to be half true. Cookies every night for an evening snack, free candy twice a week, huge amounts of food on offer at every meal and all the candy that was confiscated from the children. I need to hit the gym again. I did, however, manage to achieve the best tan of my life- my sister calls me Pailz on account of my porcelain (really it’s pasty, but that sounds so much better) skin and I am forever the palest member of my family. But this summer the others can all suck it, because I have returned a bronzed goddess. Huzzah! This tan, though, came in the form of a naked me looking like I’m still wearing a pale, beige one piece swimsuit. That’s another thing about camp; tan

Column

plife

was pretty much half and half, with the US proportion being made up of mostly mid-western people. HEY Y’ALL. This mix of nationalities inevitably led to confusion over names; one of my friends, Dearbhail, from Ireland was forever explaining her name and where she was from. She was quickly nicknamed ‘D’. As for me, my name isn’t particularly common and was a struggle for the Americans. Alisa, Alisha, Alison, I got called all of them. After weeks of having people ask how to pronounce my name, I gave up and said I would like to be called Pender or ‘A’, as my bunk referred to me.

lines are inevitable due to the regulations for clothing. It’s not like I’d run around in my birthday suit or anything, but a bit of room for manoeuvre on the bathing suits and length of shorts may have helped with my preferential ratio of pale to tan skin. On top of this questionable tan, socially-acceptable personal appearance is something left to be desired at camp: bun or pony tail, sports clothes, no make-up and greasy skin slathered in sun screen and bug spray was the daily uniform for me. Excellent. I think I put on makeup about a dozen times this summer, and put on a dress MAYBE twice. Fit. Saturday nights and the trips to the bars in Lake George (the nearest big town, 30 minutes away) were a welcome break from camp. From what I’ve heard of other camps, mine was pretty strict with the whole curfew and no drunken behaviour/alcohol on camp stuff in comparison. So in the hour and a half that we had from getting dropped off to getting picked up, in true GUU style, I would get as many drinks as possible in. This seemed like standard behaviour for my cocounsellor too so we quickly made pals and had GREAT TIMES. Despite me being 20 for the majority of the summer, my ID worked a treat. Y’see, they do their dates the other way round in the US, I didn’t realise not many people knew this, so my August birthday looked like the 8th of April. best day ever when I figured this out. So although I had a bit of a detox, I did manage to have some good, wholesome, boozy fun. I was pleasantly surprised by the number of British staff there- it

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My day off was on a Monday. I have never been so pleased to see Mondays in all my life. Those days were spent either in the mall, movie theatre or on the beach. The level of tiredness was like doing Freshers’ Week 8 weeks in a row. Oh my days. Mondays just spent with 8 other counsellors were bliss. The girls regularly woke up at 6.15/6.30 and being 10 years old, their idea of being quiet and mine were quite different. Shouted whispers and cards being slapped on the floor were my version of an alarm clock. Those early mornings coupled with late nights either on duty, out at a bar or hanging out in the staff lounge getting my dose of internet made for one sleepy bunny. All in all, I had a great summer. I don’t know if I would do camp again but I am happy I did it. The money wasn’t great but the experience was really what I went for, as corny as that sounds. Despite the whining, arguing, intentionally annoying me and lack of manners, the kids were good to work with and I think I am a better, more tolerant person for it. The camp was in upstate New York and I definitely miss the scenery and location. I do not miss the unnecessary trips to the nurse, moaning about water temperature, arguments over who gets first shower and nights on duty trying to get the little shits to go to bed. #camplife, in a nutshell, is every bit as challenging as it is fun. It is definitely suited to some people more than others (I was one of the few people there not studying education or the like at university; Politics4lyf) and I found this out quickly after one of the other counsellors in my bunk got fired after a week and a half. Camp was great… but it is NOT for the faint hearted. -Ailsa Pender

Sport

Meeting the GUSA President

2013/14 is set to be a big year for the Glasgow University Sports Association; with an influx of new students on campus, alongside the prospect of the upcoming Commonwealth Games, and with the Stevenson/Hive Project well under way, it was only right that the GUUi caught up with the President of GUSA himself, Stuart Law, to talk all things sport. Introduce yourself. My name is Stuart Law, but most people call me Stu! I have just finished my degree in Mechanical Engineering. I wanted to get more involved in GUSA in my first year and ran for the position of Ordinary Member, since then I have been Finance Convenor, Vice President and now President! What is GUSA? GUSA stands for Glasgow University Sports Association, we are a student run association that aims to provide sporting opportunities for all students at the University of Glasgow. Why should new and returning students get involved in sport at the University? I feel that getting involved in sport is one of the best things you can do at University, it provides so many opportunities to stay healthy, to get involved as a volunteer and improve your own personal skills and to make lots of new friends! What are GUSA’s plans for Freshers’ Week 13? In Freshers’ Week, GUSA will be a huge presence on campus. We are running a Freshers’ Fair on Tuesday and Wednesday, for all the new students to get to know the 48 sports clubs and find about our free taster sessions. We are running the legendary GUSA Party on Wednesday night, which is always a brilliant night! We will also be launching our exciting new kit supplier in Freshers’ Week. What are the plans for the year ahead for sport at Glasgow? I hope to increase participation and deliver more sporting opportunities to more students, and hope to write GUSA’s first ever strategic plan.

How can students get involved in GUSA in both a sporting or more formal manner? Students can get involved through joining one of our 48 sports clubs, or even just by joining the Sport and Recreation Service and using the gym on a regular basis. In a more formal manner, students can apply to be part of our Events team, Welfare committee or even run in the elections to be part of the GUSA Council. What does GUSA offer students? GUSA provides sport to students through our 48 sports clubs, our recreational leagues, provision of health and fitness information, provision of welfare information and our many social events held throughout the academic year. What are your thoughts on the Stevenson Hive Project? I think it’s a fantastic opportunity for both GUSA and the SRS and also for GUU. All parties are building for a brighter future and the extension building is just the start. How will GUSA get involved in the 2014 Commonwealth Games? We will be hosting our first ever Alumni Ball in June 2014, which will be a great tie into the Commonwealth Games. We are still communicating with the organising committee as to how we will be able to utilise the facilities after the Games. How will the Association make sport better and more accessible for students? We will try and run more events throughout the year and try and find new ways of providing for clubs so that they can reach their full potential. I firmly believe there is something for everyone through sport, so we aim to get as many people involved as possible! Any final thoughts? The next year will be a very exciting one for GUSA, and one that I am honoured to be a part of. I look forward to meeting as many new students at Glasgow and trying to increase our participation levels as much as we can. All the best to everyone for the sporting year ahead! -Beatrice Cook

Clubs and Societies

Fancy Coming For A Run?

As one of the oldest sports clubs at the university, the Hares & Hounds aim to bring together all standards of runners, from hardcore competitors to those just looking for some jogging buddies!

We provide flexible training with an experienced coach as well as a friendly atmosphere all of the time. Training is on Monday to Thursday at 17:30, starting at the Stevenson Building, including easy runs, interval training, hill reps and sprint sessions. Training isn’t compulsory and you are free to come to whichever session suits you best and go at your own pace. With so many members, there’s always someone there to match you and informal runs are organised all the time by loads of our keen members for anyone interested, and can be as hard or as easy as you like. We participate in all types of races (road, cross country, hill running) and over a variety of distances, most of which are ideal for people new to running, such as the British Universities Cross Country Championships. However, that’s just the running side of things. The Hares & Hounds also has a fantastic social side with a great selection of nights out from bowling and Ceilidhs to sub-crawls and nights down at the Beer Bar. (And the best bit of all is that you don’t have to do any training to be allowed to come to the socials!) The highlights for many of our members are our fantastic trips away, including our “training” weekend at a bunkhouse in the Scottish countryside. Open to all who are interested, club fees subsidise some transport costs, race entries and as many lunges as your hamstrings can handle. So come along and try one of the most friendly and energetic clubs on campus. For more information, see our website at www.haresandhounds.com or search for “Glasgow University Hares and Hounds” on Facebook and ask to join our page. -Andrew Foggo

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