The Places that Bring You Joy by Clarissa Amabel

THE PLACES THAT BRING YOU JOY

THERE ARE PLACES I’LL REMEMBER ALL THROUGH MY LIFE THOUGH SOME HAS CHANGED SOME FOREVER NOT FOR BETTER SOME HAVE GONE AND SOME REMAINS ALL THESE PLACES HAVE THEIR MOMENTS WITH LOVERS AND FRIENDS I STILL CAN RECALL SOME ARE DEAD AND SOME ARE LIVING IN MY LIFE I’VE LOVED THEM ALL. JOHN LENNON

THE PLACES THAT BRING YOU JOY

All words, except for the interviews Copyright ÂŠ 2012 by Clarissa Amabel Design by Clarissa Amabel Published by Eyelash Wishes Press Printed in Singapore THE PLACES THAT BRING YOU JOY ÂŠ 2012 All rights reserved. Any reproduction without permission from the publisher is prohibited. The views expressed in the interviews in this book are those of the respective contributors. Contributors Evan Ong

Melly Fong Alva Lee Choo Lye Sang Jie Siat Nyan

www.theplacesthatbringyoujoy.com

For mom and dad, and the people who taught me to seek for the brighter sides of life. You know, carpe diem and stuff.

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JOURNEY PLANNER

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OF JOY &THE NOW

Happiness, not in another place but this place... Not in another hour, but this hour.

WALT WHITMAN

OF PLACES & SPACES

Be sure you put your feet in the right place, then stand firm.

ABRAHAM LINCOLN

When we speak of joy, we speak of a concept laid throughout

the interweaving of opposites, the unity of it all. In a way, that

many dimensions. It’s certainly not an easy word to describe,

pain makes the moment even more riveting, and it intensifies

as it holds different implications and understandings, and our

and deepens your joy.

personal views and beliefs will affect our definitions. However, to make sure we are on the same page, it’s important for us

People are always longing for that state, in the words of John

to settle the common ground. The understanding of joy that

Izzo, “we want to know that we have lived fully and experienced

we are talking about is not an emotion, but a state of being.

what it means to be a human being.” Joseph Campbell put it

It doesn’t come from happenings, or the pursuit of pleasure

this way: “I think that what we’re seeking is an experience of

for pleasure’s sake. Lauren Mellin wrote, “the essence of joy is

being alive, so that our life experiences on the purely physical

spirit.” Joy is spiritual and far grittier than happiness, and far

plane will have resonances within our innermost being and

more robust.

reality, so that we actually feel the rapture of being alive.” This does not mean a permanent state of bliss but a day-to-

Compare the pleasure of eating pizza to the joy of belly

day contentment and joy that create the experience we call

laughing with friends or surrendering to the sweetness of love.

happiness.

Now even though pizza brings you heaven on earth (say amen) that’s not exactly the experience of joy that we’re talking about.

It’s one thing to come up with an eloquent explanation, yes.

It is more complex. You are in awe watching a blazing sunset,

Now what’s important is really how we achieve that joy,

but know that soon night will fall and the color will vanish. In

because life is just too short to not be happy. After all, it goes

that moment of spiritual bliss, you can almost taste the other

by so fast. One moment you remember wearing your school

moments, those of feeling empty and lost. Unlike happiness,

uniform for the first time, and the next thing you know you’re

the underbelly of joy is pain, mirroring the wholeness of life,

walking up a podium to accept your diploma. If life goes by

OF JOY &THE NOW

so quickly, then one of the secrets to happiness is to get more out of the time we have, to find a way that each moment and each day become great gifts. Joy is found, when we live the

We also identify certain places with joy and happiness.

moment.

When we acknowledge the place that brings us joy, we are able to make an effort to preserve it so we can also

At its simplest, live the moment means to be fully in every

get the most out of it. The relationship is one of a mutual

moment of our lives, to not judge our lives but to live fully.

reliance. Let us decide to have a conscious appreciation of

It means that we must not focus on the past or the future but

“our happy place”, where we can find security to truly be

experience each moment with gratitude and purpose. It means

and celebrate ourselves.

that we recognise that we have the power in each moment to choose contentment and happiness. Choose to judge your life

If the secret to finding joy is to live the moment, and

less and live it more.

when we understand that every day is a gift, then we should always be enthusiastic about the fact that “I’m

There’s a story about a man who is well into his eighties and

here!” Here not only means at this current, present time,

enjoys a daily walk around the neighbourhood. When people

but also here—wherever we are now.

ask his how he is, he always responds in the same way—with a resounding enthusiastic I’m Here! What he means is ‘I’m

Some people say that they will truly be happy when

grateful to be alive and I recognise what a tremendous gift it

they are somewhere else, at a more desirable place than

is.’ We all know some people who gives us the impression that

where they are right now. Some claim that they will only

they’d rather be anywhere than here. Happy people are fully here, wherever they are, whatever they are doing.

OF PLACES & SPACES

All around us, we are surrounded and engulfed by places. Ever wondered what makes a “place”? What sets it apart from being live when they come to, for example, Paris. It is not an

just another geographical location? What determines the

understatement to say that the current society has been

boundaries of a place? Places have a big part to play in our lives

bitten by the big and thriving travel bug, and most people

and our identities, as much as we do to them.

are always dreaming of their next escape. Travelling is a great way to see the world, but does that mean that at

The geographer Yi-Fu Tuan wrote that a place comes into

the place we are from, we don’t see? What happens in

existence when humans give meaning to a part of the larger,

between the escapes, the getaways?

undifferentiated space. Any time a location is identified or given a name, it is separated from the undefined space that

We are all in different phases of our lives, some less

surrounds it. The name shapes the place’s identity, and often it

comfortable than the other, but no matter what, if we

is derived from its distinctive physical or other qualities. Some

are able to see beauty where we are and be glad instead

places, however, have been given stronger meanings, names or

of taking things for granted, we are walking closer to

definitions by society than others. These are the places that are

happiness. And without realizing, we form a relationship

said to have a strong “Sense of Place.” The term sense of place

with the places around us as they play a part in our lives.

is often used in relation to those characteristics that make a

Whether you are at home or at your home away from

place special or unique, as well as to those that foster a sense

home, perhaps “the place that brings you joy” is actually

of authentic human attachment and belonging. Sense of place

wherever you are right now.

is a social phenomenon that exists independently of any one individual’s perceptions or experiences, yet is dependent on human engagement for its existence.

On a personal level, we all identify with places in one way or

sense of purpose, a person will have trouble finding meaning

another. As aforementioned above, a place is given meaning by

in life. The relationship unravels over time and it may as well

humans, but it also works vice versa. Without realising it, we

go downhill from there.

are also identified through places. Being in a particular place may influence us in a particular way, and unknowingly in our

What is the place that you associate with the most? Take

mind, we have associated most of the people we know with

notice of where you are, and you’ll be surprised by how much

certain places.

is revealed about yourself from that discovery. For most people, their home is one of the places they can truly call their own

Perhaps one of the worst comments about a city was made

and is truly deserving of the endearing term, “My place.” For

by Gertrude Stein, who said “There is no there, there,” about

some, “their place” may be somewhere else, but wherever that

her childhood home in Oakland, California. Stein’s remark

may be, that place deserves to be looked after and care for, just

became a classic description of a placeless place. Places that

as much as a man deserves to have his identity and dignity.

lack a “sense of place” are sometimes referred to as “placeless” or “inauthentic.” Placeless landscapes are those that have no

Wallace Stegner wrote, “A place is not a place until people

special relationship to the places in which they are located—

have been born in it, have grown up in it, lived in it, known it,

they could be anywhere.

died in it—have both experienced and shaped it, as individuals, families, neighbourhoods, and communities, over more than

To be stuck in a placeless place would eventually affect a man,

one generation. Some are born in their place, some realise after

in more subtle ways than he may realise. A placeless place has

long searching that the place they left is the one they have

no character and it denies a person from a sense of belonging,

been searching for. But whatever their relation to it, it is made

from which a sense of a purpose is derived. Without a clear

a place only by slow accrual, like a coral reef.”

experience it online

THE PLACES THAT BRING THEM JOY In the following chapters, we spend some time to talk to different people about happiness and experience the different places that bring them joy. These are real places and you can visit most of them to have a first-hand experience of the stories that they shared. You can also see them online on the special Google Maps link below.

View the places on Google Maps and tag the places that bring you joy! Scan the code on the right or go directly to http://g.co/maps/72rtf

THE EARLY YEARS

That was when it was made painfully clear to me. When you are a child, there is joy. And most of all, there is trust.

PETER DAVID

Children see magic because they look for it. Children are, too, unpredictable. Sometimes you meet a kid who is bratty and annoying, sometimes you meet a child who is just too adorable. And sometimes, you meet kids like Evan, who reminds you of your own childhood. My friend and I visited Evan at his grandma’s house in Tampines, one Tuesday evening after his schoolbus dropped him off. He was so excited to show us the playground, and gulped down his dinner of rice and hotdogs in minutes before changing into his Angry Birds t-shirt and scurrying out the door with his water bottle. The sun was just about to set and there were several neighbourhood kids at the playground, and their excited squeals could be heard from around the HDB block we came from. Evan proudly showed us the way (“The playground’s just there! There! Very near only!”) and started dragging us by the hands when he couldn’t wait to join the other kids who already conquered the colourful playground structure with its variety of slides and ladders and tunnels. He bounded for the slides and in mere seconds we could not keep up with him, only catching glimpses of him through the openings of the tunnels and arches. His little feet climbed the small steps nimbly, little hands grabbing on to the structure for support, and when he reached the centre platform he grinned at us before punching the air around the other kids and making boxing noises. When he slid down the spiral slide, Evan already decided who he was for the day, “I am

The Places That Bring You Joy

The Early Years

The Places That Bring You Joy

I FIND THAT CHILDREN ARE THE BEST TEACHERS ABOUT ENJOYING THE PRESENT. THEIR TINY HANDS HAVE NOT FULLY GRASPED THE CONCEPT OF THE FUTURE, NOR DO THEY CARE MUCH ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED MORE THAN A FEW SECONDS AGO.

Kung Fu Panda Ninja Fighter!” and punched the air some

the concept of the future, nor do they care much about what

more, showing off his ninja moves proudly.

happened more than a few seconds ago. When a child wants a toy, he wants it now. You can tell him to wait but for him

He quickly dashed back to the playground structure, and we

that may be as good as never. Now is all that matters, this very

were trying to be good babysitters, shouting out after him to

moment and nothing else.

be careful, although he was too busy fighting “the bad guys”, a role he decidedly assigned to practically all the other kids

After a climbing up and sliding down over and over again,

there. Before long another boy whined that Evan hit him,

Evan managed to stop and asked for his water bottle…

even though he was only pretending to. Now, if we didn’t

and then he spotted the wobbly whale near the benches so

do damage control Evan might find the entire playground

naturally the next minute he was riding it and rocking it back

pretending to chase him away. My clever friend stepped in as

and forth, “I am a pirate! This is a whale!” I wanted to tell

the negotiator and with her wisdom and logic she convinced

him that probably the only people who ride whales are the

all the kids to become a unified group of Ninja Fighters…

native Maori tribes of New Zealand, but I think the giddiness

and of course Evan declared himself as the leader.

got to him first. He then jumped off his wobbly whale, crossed the seas, and climbed on to his pirate ship, or in other

Looking at those kids, one moment they were upset because

words, the playground bench next to the rubbish bins.

they were not included in Evan’s little game, and before you know it the next moment they were cheering him on as a

As a child, the world around you is limitless. When I was his

team. For children, happiness came so quickly and so easily

age, I used to build forts on my parents’ queen-size bed with

to them. When they chose to cheer for Evan, they did not

pillows and blankets, and pretended to hide from the enemies.

hold any grudges even though he was mock-fighting them a

To Evan, of course this bench was a pirate ship, the next

minute ago.

minute it could be an airplane or a submarine… or anything else his imagination leads him to believe. His imagination

As we grow up we forget that we also have that option

allows him to see the world in a new light every time, instead

available to us. We are afraid of letting go of the past,

of taking things for granted. I’d like to think the same wonder

rehearsing anger and bitterness over and over instead of living

and amazement of the world is available for all of us to tap

in the moment. I find that children are the best teachers about

into. If we just let that inner child in all of us roam free once

enjoying the present. Their tiny hands have not fully grasped

in a while, it could do us a lot of good.

The Early Years

5 1

The Places That Bring You Joy

1. Spaghetti

4. Hotdog

2. Flower

5. Baboon

3. Kung Fu Panda Fighter

6. Bad guy

EVAN ONG

4, SINGAPORE

Hi Evan, tell me, what makes Evan happy? Fishball and hotdog! Evan, what’s your favourite place? Where do you like to go that makes you happy? I like to play at the playground! The playground downstairs. Playground there got slides. Why do you like the playground, Evan? Um... (pauses to think) Because I like the slides! Playground also got other friends... There I can also fight bad guys ‘cos I am Kungfu Panda Ninja Fighter. So who do you like to play with? Friends... and Meimei! Meimei likes to play games, but Meimei’s toys always very messy! Okay... what’s your favourite thing to do that makes you happy? I like to read! I got two favourite books! Got the dinosaur one, and the fish one. (goes to the bookshelf and picks two books) This one is the book about fish, you see this fish is a puffer fish! When other fish that wants to eat it come, the puffer fish will become big, to protect from enemy! What else do you like to do, Evan? I also like to dance. I can dance shuffle! (tries to dance but his foot hits the shelf ) Not pain, not pain! I also like to draw, I can draw baboon for you. I saw baboon at the zoo, and baboon got red backside. What do you want to be when you grow up, Evan? (thinks for a moment) I want to be a Kungfu Fighter so I can fight all the bad guys! (demonstrates kungfu chops) Whoosh whoosh haiyaaaah!

Watch Evan dance the shuffle and our desperate attempts at interviewing a 4-year-old. Scan the link on the right or shuffle along to http://youtu.be/3LQhbBeWFi8

The Early Years

CHILDREN AT ONCE ACCEPT JOY AND HAPPINESS WITH QUICK FAMILIARITY, BEING THEMSELVES NATURALLY ALL HAPPINESS AND JOY. VICTOR HUGO

a few lessons from

THE EARLY YEARS

In life, when you are brave enough to dance, sometimes you hit a rough patch. Tell yourself, “Not pain!”

If someone hurts you and you don’t know why, talk to them. Once the problem is resolved, don’t hold grudges.

Always have room for wonder and imagination. Your world will be so much more exciting.

It’s never too late to have a happy childhood. TOM ROBBINS

THE PRIME YEARS

If you’re young and talented, it’s like you have wings.

HARUKI MURAKAMI

Youth is a dream, a form of chemical madness. F. SCOTT FITZGERALD

I have not had the chance to meet Melly Fong in real life, but from our short online conversation and through her blog, Greenlaundry, I have a feeling that she’s as cool as her two cats that are often featured in her photos, Fatboy and Indie. Melly is just a year past the quarter life mark, but you can tell that she’s not just another young adult going through the transitory hipster phase. She prefers long walks and grocery shopping as a relaxation method, and spends a lot of time at in the kitchen making homemade meals that look inexplicably delicious. Being self-confessed homebodies, she and her boyfriend, Ben, enjoy spending time at home and doing normal, everyday chores to slow down. It’s the little quirks like these that give me the impression that Melly just has a charming old soul that you don’t often find in most people her age, the yuppies who strive to “live life in the fast lane.” After her grandmother passed away a few months ago, she has recently moved into her grandfather’s house, together with Ben and the mentioned two cool cats. While some might cringe at the thought of letting go of their independence in exchange for living with an elderly, Melly feels lucky to spend

The Places That Bring You Joy

The Prime Years

more time with her grandpa in the house that she and her brother practically grew up in. One of her best memories of her grandparents is how she admired her grandfather’s dedication to her grandmother and their “real, old-timey love.” Her grandfather is after all a person who, in her own words, “has taught me so much all throughout my life”. Another reason why hers is the only local blog that I stalk is because how she simply reminds me that there is still some hope of finding wonder and enchantment in this concrete jungle we call Singapore. When she embarks on her long walks, she brings along her well-worn film camera that acts as a travel buddy and an eyewitness to the little discoveries that she makes along the way. Maybe it’s her graphic designer eyes (she and her boyfriend have their own web design business), maybe it’s the charming, grainy, low-key film textures of the photos, but her pictures always make me sigh in envy and looking forward to the next overcast day when the weather is permitting enough for an actual walk in this city. Her local escapades have brought her (and us, her blog readers) to the corners of Singapore where there are less people and more things to actually admire. From Bedok Reservoir, notorious for the multiple suicide cases, to the Lim Chu Kang jetty where mostly only fishing enthusiasts gather, Melly spots the beauty that a lot of other people in Singapore tend to forget. To know that there are young people who still appreciate the splendor of solitary walks and choose to be there for their grandparents is refreshingly inspiring for me. Being in your prime does not mean you have to follow what society believes you must do to “live” and get ahead in life if it’s not who you are. Maybe it was Melly’s old soul that reminded her that to live, you simply have to be true to yourself.

The Prime Years

The Places That Bring You Joy

THE SECRET OF REMAINING YOUNG IS TO NEVER HAVE AN EMOTION THAT IS UNBECOMING. OSCAR WILDE

The Prime Years

SHE SIMPLY REMINDS ME THAT THERE IS STILL SOME HOPE OF FINDING WONDER AND ENCHANTMENT IN THIS CONCRETE JUNGLE WE CALL SINGAPORE.

MELLY FONG

26, SINGAPORE

Could you share what joy means to you in one sentence? When there is a sense of clarity, when there is a sense of purpose or when there is a sense of gratitude or appreciation. It could be a bit of both or all three at the same time. What is the place that brings you joy and how would you describe your relationship with it? It’s a unique and special one. I very recently moved in to live with my grandfather. My grandmother passed away five months ago and that left the home an empty one. I grew up in this very house, my parents would leave my elder brother and I in my grandparents’s care on weekdays. I remember little things, taking baths in this huge red plastic tub, getting a fright whenever I see my grandmother without her dentures before bedtime, going to the wet market and not liking the smells very much… Who would have thought that almost twenty years later, I get a chance to live here again? I get along very well with my grandfather and he has taught me so much all throughout my life. So naturally, I feel so lucky to be able to spend all the time in the world with him now and spend it in his home - a place that means everything to him and in his own words, the only thing left that belongs to him. Do you ever associate happiness with a certain place? Not really, my boyfriend and I always joke about how we don’t ever have a go-to place to hangout or anything. I think it’s partly because we are such homebodies, we feel happiest in our own environment. However, I do associate happiness with long walks in unexpected places. It will come, this skip in my step and that’s when I know, I like what I see and I have to walk to the end till there’s none left to see. In your daily life, what do you do to ‘smell the roses’ and live in the moment? I either sit down with my cats because that really helps to slow down time or I do really normal things. If I want time and space to myself, I do the laundry. If I crave quiet company, I go grocery shopping with my boyfriend or sit down in the living room with my grandfather and watch the nine o’clock drama serial on tv together. Preparing a cup of tea for myself also does the trick.

All the photos in this chapter belongs to Melly Fong, and her blog has many more interesting pictures from her adventures, local and international. Scan the QR code or skip along to http://greenlaundry.net/blog

The Prime Years

a few lessons from

THE PRIME YEARS

Respect your elders, and cherish your time with them. You are who you are now because of them.

Take a walk on the roads less travelled in your town, and you’ll be surprised by the discoveries you come across.

Swing to the beat to your own drum. Don’t conform to other people’s lifestyle. Find your own way to live.

Youth is happy because it has the capacity to see beauty. Anyone who keeps the ability to see beauty never grows old. FRANZ KAFKA

THE DEVOTED YEARS

The phrase “working mother” is redundant.

JANE SELLMAN

SHE SPOKE SO PASSIONATELY ABOUT HER FAMILY, AND HER KIDS, AND THE DEDICATION WAS HARD TO BE MISSED.

The email conversation that I had with Alva regarding our interview was brief and effective. When I corresponded with her I thought

she was either a woman of few words, or she was very busy and she just needed the important details to be delivered in the shortest amount of time. Through our brief correspondence, she shared that her home is the one place that brought her joy, and invited me to come and see for myself. The home is situated in one of the renovated HDB blocks in Hougang, and the sun was just about to set when I arrived at her duplex. When I came she was in front of the TV with her two children, Gabriel and Annette, and she welcomed me enthusiastically. We proceeded to do the interview, and I discovered that she was definitely not a woman of a few words. She spoke so passionately about her family, and her kids, and the dedication was hard to be missed. Alva was a working mother, so she had to juggle between two fulltime careers, one as a professional executive and the other a devoted parent. It was clear where her priority stands, though. When she spoke of her kids, she lighted up as she remembered many small details of the children while they are growing up. As a parent, she strongly believed that one of the most important things she had to do was encourage every little achievement that her children did.

The Places That Bring You Joy

The Devoted Years

The Places That Bring You Joy

The Devoted Years

The Places That Bring You Joy

Anyone could tell that she was a proud mother from the way she beamed when she spoke of her children, about Gabriel who is doing very good in school and Annette who seems to have quite the creative flair. Just like any other homes with young kids, Alva’s home had plenty of toys scattered around. Having both a boy and a girl, there was one corner where there were a pink, plastic vanity table and a metallic blue drum set. She showed me a secret cabinet under the stairs where the kids keep most of their toys, and Annette’s little scraggly drawings that was displayed behind the door. One’s home is a reflection of who they are, and Alva’s cozy duplex was of course a personification of her and her family. While the house is only recently renovated and is always kept in a shipshape manner, Alva and her family preferred the bedroom as their secret escape. “It is a place to unwind,” she confided. The bedroom is also a place of intimacy for the entire family, where Alva and her husband would spend time with their kids after a long day at work. The joy in her life comes from her family, and as a working mother she knows never to take things for granted. She believes in celebrating these little moments, however insignificant it may seem to other people, as every moment with her children is a moment that would never repeat itself. Every moment is too precious to not let her children know how much she loves them.

The Devoted Years

ALVA LEE

42, SINGAPORE

Could you share what joy means to you? I’m a working mother, so it’s tough juggling both work and coming home and making sure that I find quality time. It’s the small intimate details that come into our lives, and that means not taking things for granted. To me, because I spent very little time with the kids, I just want to make sure that I have quality time. Every moment is so precious and especially when they’re growing up. Sometimes, the words that they say can be so mature. It startles me and jolts me, as if saying, “Wake up, listen to her!” When you don’t listen intently, you will miss out on it. This is how I find joy, spending that part of my time being with the kids. Is there a particular place that brings you joy? Home is the place that brings me joy, because everyday I look forward to come home, to unwind and destress, and listen to the kids telling me about their day. My favourite spot is my bedroom, as it is a place to rest, unwind, and snuggle with the kids. Do you think the home is a personalisation of the family? Very much, because I think it has a character, it speaks a lot about the bond in the family. The layout of the home also speaks a lot, the details like the bedroom, the TV room, the little corners that trigger some sort of memory. Those are the memories that bring you joy. In your daily life, what do you do to ‘smell the roses’ and live in the moment? We don’t want to be too rigid with the kids. We celebrate the little things in our lives, and we would celebrate the kids’ little achievements. It tugs at the heartstrings, you know, and we commend our children for them. It’s character-building as well, and in this rat-race society, I don’t want to regret that I have not done enough. In the end what matters is that we spend the moments together.

To watch our interview with Alva about her home and her cherished family, scan the link on the right with your smartphone or visit http://youtu.be/bx312QLdH9I

The Places That Bring You Joy

a few lessons from

THE DEVOTED YEARS

If you take things for granted, you’ll miss out. You can find joy in the little intimate details in your life, if you look hard enough.

It’s okay to celebrate your smaller achievements. Heck, it’s okay to celebrate without any reason!

Never be too busy for your family and loved ones. If you can’t find time for quality time, it’s time to make some.

Being a parent is one of the hardest things you’ll ever do but in exchange it teaches you the meaning of unconditional love. NICHOLAS SPARKS

THE SENSIBLE YEARS

But the power of hoping through everything, the knowledge that the soul survives its adventures, that great inspiration comes to the middle-aged.

GILBERT K. CHESTERTON

The Places That Bring You Joy

I met Mr. Choo Lye Sang on a Sunday afternoon in

years, and he has grown to know the trail and its surroundings

Singapore’s blistering heat. He was relaxing in his sitting

very well. He pointed out a house that was recently bought

room, and even though it was scorching hot outside, he kindly

over by a bachelor, and a new minimalist-looking house that

agreed for a tour of his daily walking trail around the Bukit

used to be very beautiful before it was renovated.

Timah natural reserve. We crossed an intersection that connected the housing area to Mr. Choo was ready for the walk in a couple of minutes, and

the natural reserve, and Mr. Choo showed me the pavement

when his daughter protested about his uncommon jogging

that according to him continues throughout the entire island.

attire, he casually remarked that people won’t even bother

It came so easily and naturally to him, these little details about

looking at an older man’s outfit. Within a few minutes in his

little things that most people just brush away, but for him

home, one would get the feeling that he is a naturally easy-

these are the ones he noticed. In a way, it was how he keeps

going person, unlike most of the other people his age.

this daily routine more interesting, but it is also a way for him to keep track of the changes of time. His daily walks also

The sun was very unforgiving that day, but we bravely braced

provided him with some space for himself, and it brought him

the weather and slowly traced the hills of Bukit Timah. It has

clarity to his thoughts every morning.

been his daily habit for many years, waking up every morning at 6 AM and going for a walk around the area. Sometimes it

Once we turned right into the natural reserve, the swelling

would still be dark outside, and most of his family members

heat began to wear off. The trees provided ample shade for

would not even be up yet, but it was a routine that he enjoyed

us and there was no air pollution from the traffic. He walked

thoroughly.

slowly but comfortably, and several joggers in tracksuits passed us by with iPods blasting energetic music. Mr. Choo,

As we walked past the houses in the neighbourhood, Mr.

on the other hand, chose to walk with nature’s ambience as his

Choo began sharing his story. It started as a way to stay fit,

soundtrack. He preferred to allow the surroundings to be an

after a checkup that made him more concerned about his

integral part of his walks and rather than rushing quickly just

health, but now the walk is also a part of his day that he looks

to finish the exercise, he would take in the amazing natural

forward to. He has been walking around this area for over ten

sights in his own, laid-back pace.

The Sensible Years

The Places That Bring You Joy

IT CAME SO EASILY AND NATURALLY TO HIM, THESE LITTLE DETAILS ABOUT LITTLE THINGS THAT MOST PEOPLE JUST BRUSH AWAY, BUT FOR HIM THESE ARE THE ONES HE NOTICED.

The Sensible Years

IT IS ONLY WHEN WE SILENT THE BLARING SOUNDS OF OUR DAILY EXISTENCE THAT WE CAN FINALLY HEAR THE WHISPERS OF TRUTH THAT LIFE REVEALS TO US, AS IT STANDS KNOCKING ON THE DOORSTEPS OF OUR HEARTS K.T. JONG

Every now and then, we’d pause and Mr. Choo would

contributor for the Chinese newspapers for over twenty years,

stretch his arms, and allowed us some time to really take the

and his comics always consist of one rectangular panel that

surroundings in. Bukit Timah Reserve at this time of day was

serves as a commentary for the current situation in Singapore.

surprisingly quite populated, and we see many joggers and

He began drawing comics when his youngest daughter was

families setting up for picnics on the grass, probably making

only two months old, and the sight of a newborn continuously

full use of the bright sunny day. Even though the temperature

inspired him to share his wonder with the world. Now, after

was supposed to be hot, inside the natural reserve the trees

his morning walks and his daily activities, he would spend half

provided the residents with a luxurious supply of oxygen, and

an hour every night at his small desk where he would draw a

the air was crisp and comfortable, not humid like in some

quick sketch with simple black markers.

other places. Mr. Choo reminded me to really spend time just to look at the greenery to relax my eyes, which is funnily

Mr. Choo is a man of habit, and he could recite his daily

exactly the same thing my parents always told me. Perhaps

schedule that has stayed mostly the same for almost as long

no matter where you’re from, parents will always be parents,

as he can remember. Even when I asked about what he does

looking out for the kids.

after his morning walks, he casually said, “morning business”. His joy comes from the security of his routines, and for a man

These walks have often been a source of inspiration for his

his age, the biggest desire is simply to be well and healthy, so

other hobby, drawing caricature comics. He has been a regular

he can spend his days with his family.

The Places That Bring You Joy

Mr. Chooâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s daily schedule: 6.00 am

Wake up

Drink a glass of water

6.15 am

Take a morning walk

7.00 am

Reach home

Take a shower

7.30 am

Have breakfast

Read the morning papers

8.30 am

Go to work

6.30 pm

End work

7.30 pm

Have dinner with the family

8.30 pm

Watch some TV

10.00 pm Go to sleep

The Sensible Years

CHOO LYE SANG

58, SINGAPORE

Could you share what joy means to you? To me, because of my age, health is more important nowadays. That’s why every morning I need to exercise. Every morning when I wake up, I will have a short run, and subsequently I would come back, and go to work. This is my daily routine. To me, this is joy. Within your daily routine, is there a particular place that brings you joy? If that’s the case, I think the place that brings me happiness is when I go for a jog every morning, I would go to Bukit Timah natural reserve. The jog takes me half an hour, and I really enjoy myself when I run. Luckily the place is not far away. Could you describe your relationship with this place? From my routine walk, I discover than within the half hour, I get to see a lot of things. The surroundings, the changes, the atmosphere, the weather... When I run, I can think of what I’m going to do during the day. At times, these things come into my mind, especially when I draw my comics, so it becomes my inspiration. It can be very interesting. In your daily life, what do you do to ‘smell the roses’ and live in the moment? This is up to the individual, but Singapore is too commercial. I believe you should enjoy the quiet atmosphere instead of always going to the shopping centre. Unfortunately, these kind of [natural] places, you don’t see much people. People like to squeeze inside the shopping centre. Actually you can really enjoy the quiet places, but a lot of people do not appreciate it. What are the little details in your life that you hold dear? Maybe less quarrels with other people. As a businessman I work with other people. When I come home, I try to relax, spend time with my family, and basically that makes life more meaningful.

We talk to Mr. Choo about his morning walks and keeping fit at his age. Scan the link on the right to watch our interview or visit http://youtu.be/oAovpbPvcvE

The Places That Bring You Joy

a few lessons from

THE SENSIBLE YEARS

Thereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s nothing wrong with keeping a comfortable routine. As long as it works well and keeps you productive.

A little quiet walk outside, a moment of solitude in nature can help restore some clarity in your busy life.

When dealing with others, seek to avoid conflict and keep the trust relationship. It will do you a lot of good

Of middle-age, the best that can be said is that a middle-aged person has likely learned how to have a little fun in spite of his troubles. DON MARQUIS

THE GOLDEN YEARS

The best classroom in the world is at the feet of an elderly person.

ANDY ROONEY

The Places That Bring You Joy

Happiness, or life satisfaction, has never been a subject of discussion in our family. Our family is much more practical, mostly concerned with day-to-day living and never one to talk about deep philosophical reflections. It was only after reading a book by John Izzo, The Five Secrets You Must Discover Before You Die, that I was inspired to really spend some time with my grandparents and talk to them about happiness. One particular concept in John Izzo’s book is gathering material by interviewing happy people over 60 years of age. Talking to older people to find out how to live is not very common in our society. We live in a youth-oriented culture. There is a Romanian saying: “The house that does not have an old person in it must buy one.” Much cross-generational perspective has been lost in an increasingly urban and mobile society. We need to seek the wisdom of those with more life experience as much as we claim to learn from our own mistakes. We need elders in our lives, people who have lived a long time and achieved wisdom. This prompts me to think back about my life and the “wise elders” that I know that I could probably learn more from. The only people that came to mind were my grandparents. Not only because they are the only elderly folks I am comfortable with, but also because I know that they are able to live joyfully without the need for material wealth— something that most people desire the most. My grandparents have always lived with their simple, downThe Golden Years

THEIR HOME HAS BECOME AN INSEPARABLE PART OF THEM, A SILENT, UNANIMATED REPRESENTATION OF THEIR PERSONALITIES AND WAY OF LIFE.

to-earth attitude. They have come a long way from a small

way of life. In almost every corner of the house you can find

rundown grocery shop near the slums, but they still only live

something that is a reflection of my grandparents’ simple

with the bare essentials and saving every single penny that

and humble habits. From the little details such as short

they could spare. Yet, even though they do not know the

raffia strings that my grandfather ties to the kitchen cabinet

meaning of the wealthy lifestyle, everyone can see that they

handles to reuse over and over again, to the old Singer sewing

are perfectly comfortable, and most of all, happy.

machine that my grandmother still uses every now and then.

They have been living in this house for the last fifteen years or

It would not be overly harsh to say that my grandparents do

so. It was bought at my uncle’s recommendation over twenty

not have any proper sense of aesthetics. It is understandable

years ago, but they were still working at their small grocery

as they grew up in such difficult conditions that they needed

shop in Jatinegara, one of the shabbier sides of Jakarta. After

to work very hard just to get the necessities, and there was no

retiring, they moved to this house that they bought with their

time to even be concerned about decorations. It would not be

hard-earned savings.

natural for them to consider spending money on home décor, except for Chinese New Year when they would splurge a little

The house has never been anything more than a humble

on red paper ornaments. Almost every other keepsake ends up

home with simple, and sometimes hand-me-down

in the austere wooden display in the living room that contains

furnishings. But as far as I can remember, it has always

all sort of weird knick-knacks that they find memorable from

been big enough for our entire family to meet up and have

many, many years ago.

a good time. They only had one dining table, which would be surrounded by all the adults for our family dinners, and

When I spoke to my grandparents about what brings them

we, the kids, would have to eat at the living room. Now, even

joy, they always answered that family matters the most to

though the kids are all grown up, we still obediently follow

them. They might not be very eloquent in answering, but you

this tradition.

can clearly see from the living room where there are two huge family portraits lining the stained walls, to the kitchen and

Their home has become an inseparable part of them, a

the dining area where all our family dinners took place, my

silent, unanimated representation of their personalities and

grandparents’ home reflects their greatest pride.

The Places That Bring You Joy

The Golden Years

It is lovely to meet an old person whose face is deeply lined, a face that has been deeply inhabited, to look in the eyes and find light there.

JOHN Oâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;DONOHUE

The Places That Bring You Joy

The Golden Years

TJONG TJIN LUK JIE SIAT NYAN

81 & 78 JAKARTA

Could you share a little bit of your life story with us? Grandpa left the mainland when he was 17, and arrived in Indonesia to find a better life. Grandma was born in Jakarta and grew up helping the family sewing business. Our marriage was arranged by our parents, and then we worked and lived at our little grocery shop. It was tough raising children in such a cramped place (laughs). What does joy mean to you? For us, now our children are all grown up, with their own successful careers and families. As parents, seeing our children happy makes us very happy. How would you describe your relationship with your home? This house holds many memories of family gatherings, birthdays, new year celebrations... We are happy to see our family together. It is also a place to relax, where we can watch TV and listen to the radio. Our favourite spot is the kitchen and dining area, that’s where the family meets. In your old age, what do you do to “smell the roses” and live in the moment every day? We just enjoy our daily activities, like preparing meals for the family and taking care of our youngest granddaughter. Sometimes grandpa likes to do some gardening, and grandma will always keep her hands busy with something (laughs). Do you have any advice on how to find happiness in life? When we were young, the biggest challenge was to raise our five children. We also had to look after our small grocery shop. We all had to work very hard, and sometimes life taught us lessons the tough way. But now that our children are grown up, we are thankful in the end. For us, we never had any desires for much, so we were glad for what we had, and accepted whatever life brought our way.

Watch our chat with Mr & Mrs. Tjong at home, with special appearance from their 7-year-old granddaughter. Scan the link or visit http://youtu.be/tSx5Rx-NV2M

The Golden Years

a few lessons from

THE GOLDEN YEARS

Always remember that in the end, the richness of your life is not determined by your material wealth.

When you want the best for your family, you can endure even the harshest situations that life can bring.

Age is a blessing when you can be grateful for what you have and let go of the desire for that which you donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t.

To know how to grow old is the master-work of wisdom, and one of the most difficult chapters in the great art of living. HENRI AMIEL

OH! THE PLACES YOU’LL GO!

a few lessons from

THE GOLDEN YEARS

Always remember that in the end, the richness of your life is not determined by your material wealth. When you want the best for your family, you can endure even the harshest situations that life can bring. Age is a blessing when you can be grateful for what you have and let go of the desire for that which you donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t.

To know how to grow old is the master-work of wisdom, and one of the most difficult chapters in the great art of living. HENRI AMIEL

Congratulations! Today is your day. You’re off to Great Places! You’re off and away! You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself any direction you choose. You’re on your own. And you know what you know. And YOU are the guy who’ll decide where to go. Out there things can happen and frequently do to people as brainy and footsy as you. And then things start to happen, don’t worry. Don’t stew. Just go right along. You’ll start happening too. OH! THE PLACES YOU’LL GO!

DR. SEUSS

Sometimes, there is a price to pay for joy. Sometimes to achieve joy, we must first experience sorrow.

We can only fathom the preciousness of joy when we understand that joy is fleeting.

To reveal the wisdom of Kahlil Gibran regarding joy and sorrow, tear this page away.

Sorrow

When you are sorrowful, look again in your heart,

When you are joyous, look deep into your heart and you shall find it is only that which has given you sorrow that is giving you joy.

The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain. Is not the cup that hold your wine the very cup that was burned in the potter’s oven? And is not the lute that soothes your spirit, the very wood that was hollowed with knives?

And how else can it be?

And he answered: Your joy is your sorrow unmasked. And the selfsame well from which your laughter rises was oftentimes filled with your tears.

Then a woman said, “Speak to us of Joy and Sorrow.”

Joy

KAHLIL GIBRAN

When the treasure-keeper lifts you to weigh his gold and his silver, needs must your joy or your sorrow rise or fall.

Only when you are empty are you at standstill and balanced.

Together they come, and when one sits alone with you at your board, remember that the other is asleep upon your bed. Verily you are suspended like scales between your sorrow and your joy.

Some of you say, “Joy is greater than sorrow,” and others say, “Nay, sorrow is the greater.” But I say unto you, they are inseparable.

and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight.

TO LOVE. TO BE LOVED. TO NEVER FORGET YOUR OWN INSIGNIFICANCE. TO SEEK JOY IN THE SADDEST PLACES. TO PURSUE BEAUTY TO ITS LAIR. TO RESPECT STRENGTH, NEVER POWER. ABOVE ALL, TO WATCH. TO TRY AND UNDERSTAND. TO NEVER LOOK AWAY. AND NEVER, NEVER, TO FORGET. ARUNDHATI ROY