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6. Once you have prepared his version of events and witnesses etc, you need to

1 0 Things to consider b s e as universities efore you appl y for ov e r

Vanessa Raphaely shares her first-hand experience...

In the space of four chaotic months last year, my husband and I made the whirlwind decision to pull our son out of second year Mechatronics at a South African university and send him abroad, to study at Edinburgh University in Scotland. There was a flurry of reasons for the decision, not least the wholly unexpected arrival of an incredibly generous windfall, which enabled us to even contemplate such a possibility. When, as a parent, you first allow yourself to even dream of being in the position to allow a child such a privilege, it is hard to think past the positives: the doors an international degree will open; the standard of teaching your child will be exposed to; the networks they will forge; the experiences, adventures and challenges they will face… But in reality, there’s a LOT you should consider before sending in their application – the whole process left my head spinning! No longer a family of 5 for dinner, his empty bedroom, the vast distance between us left at home and him, living his new uni life, and the inevitable financial cost (windfall or not!). My son is almost at the end of his first year now, and he is happy and flourishing. We (his parents and siblings) have mopped up our tears at his departure and adapted to our new reality (HOW did parents survive before the advent of WhatsApp?). However, if we had to do it again, I think I’d do it differently.

Here are my top 10 tips of what to consider before taking this huge step:

EDUCATE YOURSELF FIRST Which country, which system, which university, which degree? Those are just the first questions to ask. You need help and information to make a choice that works, not just for your child, but for your family too. Start off at an Expo, such as The

Global Education Study Abroad Expo, which we are currently partnering with on the Village. Global Education represents over 300 first class universities and colleges and will be running their highly regarded events throughout May in Cape Town, Johannesburg, Pretoria, Durban, and Zimbabwe. Take this opportunity to engage in person with representatives of 40 universities. You can get more information here, www.globaleducationexpo.co.za.

GET A GOOD OVERVIEW Give yourself a thorough overview of everything it takes to make the right choice by downloading The Village’s University Speaking Digizine.

HEAR YOUR CHILD OUT Maxine Kruger, Counselor and Admissions Officer at Global Education, says it is crucial to involve your child and listen to their expectations and anxieties about studying abroad and leaving home. We often tell them, “When I was at university this is what I did.” Instead, let them create their own idea of what they want. You can phrase it like this: “I am excited for you, and I hope this is everything that you want.”

DO THE MATHS Ensure that you have chosen the right option for your bank balance! There are, surprisingly, many opportunities in many different countries where the tuition fees are similar to what you may end up paying in South Africa. Inform yourself by doing the research. Not only did we discover that Edinburgh is an extremely expensive option, but we had not factored in the Scottish system of a 4-year undergraduate degree! Ouch.

PREP PSYCHOLOGICALLY Counsellor Heidi Sulcas, editor of University Speaking and MD of The Learner’s Journey, says everyone needs to be psychologically prepared. “It’s so exciting for them,” says Heidi, “but feels like the end of so many things to us as parents.” Maxine Kruger reminds parents to be kind to themselves. “It’s not easy to say goodbye either to your child or the phase of your life when all your children are together at home. You will need to mourn that loss.”

JOIN A FACEBOOK GROUP The UK-based Facebook group, What I Wish I Knew About University (WIWIKAU), for example, is an invaluable resource for parents. It also has specific sub-groups for parents of universities you might be interested in exploring further. There are many similar groups for parents of many universities and colleges elsewhere too. Find them and join them!

"There are two gifts we should give our children: one is roots, and the other is wings."

CHECK RANKING AND FEES In a post on WIWIKAU, university advisor Louise Fernet suggests checking international tuition fee levels, “as it can differ greatly between universities of the same reputation”. But don’t be too swayed by rankings – it is far more important to find an option which you can afford, and which offers the course and experience that fits your child.

DON’T FORGET ABOUT ACCOMMODATION Be alert to the challenges of securing accommodation, post the first year. Another parent on WIWIKAU, Laura Moffatt, noted that many landlords abroad do not like taking overseas guarantors. Leaving over a summer and then having to come back to find somewhere to live can cause problems, so be prepared upfront to face this challenge.

UNDERSTAND LOCAL ISSUES Alert yourself to local issues affecting universities. Kate Parsons, a WIWIKAU parent with children in universities in both the UK and US, said that she had had no idea about the rolling industrial action affecting UK universities. Her daughter studying in the UK through the pandemic received no pastoral care at all and then had to cope with ongoing strike action. She is graduating, says Kate, being able to count the face-to-face weeks of tuition on one hand. Her sister in the States was assisted by her university throughout the pandemic with food parcels, library books delivered to her door, a buddy system, assistance with finding accommodation in the community and counselling. “We only receive invoices from the UK!” Kate added.

EMPOWER YOUR CHILD Ensure your child knows how to budget, cook, and clean. Ensure they are robust, street smart, independent and tough enough to deal with the academic, social, and mental challenges that will inevitably come their way. Make sure THEY want to go. Remember that South African universities are still highly regarded and that educated South Africans are highly successful wherever they find themselves internationally. Sacrificing your family life to send a child abroad is a loss for parents. It is both wonderful and terrible. But if your child really wants to go? Get cracking on the research!

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