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www.ClovisRoundup.com . Wednesday, August 18, 2021
LOG OF SHAME APRIL BLANKINSHIP AND TONI GARCIA Contributed
July 28, 2021 Around 4 p.m. over on Gettysburg Ave, a family was throwing their child a “drive by” birthday party. They went inside to get some cake and ice cream and when they came back out, someone had stolen their party supplies! Hopefully, whoever stole them used them for another child and they had a great time! What kind of pond scum steals from a child’s birthday party? Ever heard of the dollar store, buddy? GET A JOB! July 29, 2021 A man reported his wallet was stolen while he was at the local Wally World. Fortunately for the victim, he had nothing in his wallet other than his ID! Unlucky for the person who stole it. I guess crime doesn’t always pay. NOT TODAY SATAN! July 30, 2021 On Shaw Ave, at around 6 p.m., there were reports of a home break in. Apparently, all that was stolen was a wallet which contained some cash and credit cards and a pack of cigarettes. The way cigarette prices are these days, I guess the perp was desperate for one and when he saw them laying on the table, he just couldn’t help himself. Luckily, nothing else was taken but nicotine addiction must be awful to break into someone’s house, just for a smoke! July 31, 2021 Over on Terry Ave, a victim reported someone had stolen their DVD from their car! Little did the suspect know it was a DVD copy of the Ten Commandments. Hopefully they watch the movie and really pay attention to the 8th commandment, thou shall not steal. Ironic, isn’t it? August 1, 2021 At a local big box store, they reported a theft in the electronics section. The suspect got away with a hard-to-obtain gaming console. Do you know how many people have been waiting to BUY one with hard earned money and this guy just walked out of the store with it? I guess his kid was really giving him a hard time about not having one so he decided to steal it for them? Hopefully he dropped it and it broke as he was running away from the law. August 2, 2021 A construction company had a large saw come up missing off one of their construction sites. That kind of puts a damper on the whole job when you can’t cut the materials so you can complete the project. The thief’s wife must have been on him to finish that DIY bathroom and he needed to get moving ASAP! I hope your wife enjoys her new bathroom upgrade! What a jerk! August 3, 2021 A sweet gal on Peach Ave called to report that somebody broke into her car during the middle of the night and the following items were stolen from it: Subwoofer, fishing tackle box, her backpack and even the darn air-freshener! If this was a house it would be the kitchen sink! Jeesh! August 4, 2021 A chef called to report that when he arrived home his sliding glass door was open from his apartment patio and someone had rifled through his kitchen! Upon further investigation, the thief stole his good cooking pans! Talk about cutting right to the heart! August 5, 2021 At 4:30 in the afternoon a man was arrested for three warrants! He had just gotten off work and getting in his truck when an officer confronted him. Did you think those tickets were a joke pal? Judges don’t joke about court appearances, just an FYI. August 6, 2021 A man was literally arrested for stalking a woman. She asked him to stop, begged him to go away and when he didn’t listen, she called the police. They found him in his car staring into her office building. Shows over pal, show is over. August 7, 2021 Two girls who are extra stupid got caught for stealing at a local department store with random items. Some of which included: a shaving razor, mascara, a hair brush, and a face mask. Look, all I’m saying is if I’m going to jail it’s gonna to be because I test drove a Maserati too long and they report it stolen, not for mascara! August 8, 2021 There was a non-injury traffic accident on Clovis Ave just south of Herndon. Everyone was okay except one of the drivers walked away with Animal Style fries in her lap after the collision! So much for her lunch AND her white pants! August 9, 2021 A woman was arrested for having no license and no insurance when an officer saw her make an illegal turn! Did you think you were such a great driver and didn’t need to study for the test? If so you would have known not to make a u-turn on a double yellow line sweetheart. *The above Police Logs are loosely based on actual events. The names have been changed to protect the innocent. The circumstances have been created and embellished for your entertainment.
