This book is dedicated to all females who are in the beginning, middle, and continuing stages of discovering who they truly are. It is an honest reflection of real life situations that as a female I had to battle with. It was tough trying to be yourself in a world where people were trying to change you. This is an empowerment guide for all women that go unacknowledged, who struggle to live everyday, or who simply need to survive through today’s judgmental society. Just know, that you are not alone and when you are at your lowest low, and you realize your true potential, thats when you have ultimately become Alpha FEMME.
DEDI CATION PAGE
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ALPHA
[Greek: Άλφα Álpha]
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FEMME
[French: Fem Female]
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ALPHA FEMME An Alpha female is a woman who is #1 in her pack. She is powerful, hardworking, dominant, and beautiful. She is not afraid to make mistakes, because she knows practice makes perfect. She exumes extreme confidence in herself and in her abilities. Other females tend to look up to her for guidance,yet she sets her own standards while setting herself far apart from anyone else. She refuses to surrender to anyone or anything under any circumstance. She will never be a follower, because she was born to lead.
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WHO AM I ?
What am I searching for? I’m terrified of what I might find So many things are asked of me What do I want? My mind rewinds I’m just an ordinary girl looking for a way out into this world yet created, no platform Just an edge of reality I’m yearning for I am a loner I am a rebel I only wanted to be loved But, I am not sure where I belong Never will I ever be satisfied So here’s where I begin.
Empowerment Quote
“Don’t be afraid to walk alone allow your path to guide you towards your victory”.
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FINDING MY WAY Seeking closure from within my surrundings My foundation is cloudy a white faint tone I’m on my own, SHIT is real My guard is above average I’m searching for a companion Leaving all my thoughts behind My dreams surface, creating a picture Of something better than what I already had No need to introduce myself My insecurities roar for attention I just want to see what is on that other side Of that path my parents called FORBIDDEN Might as well see for myself what I’m already missing.
Empowerment Quote “Never lose sight of the prize which is embracing who you already are”.
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BLEND IN Deep foundation drowning my pores, I brought that expensive SHIT, not exclusively in stores Exfoliate the visions of beauty sinking in Not realizing the death I was causing to my inner self The best concealer on the market hid all the hesititations to allow this application to go on thick but not to quick, let the pain simmer onto my face deep Thick mascara flickered on my lashes slowly long-gating the process of something I desired to see with my eyes which are the key to the capture the truth, I had to stand out Don’t forget the lipstick slowly carressing the outer rim of what’s going to sell myself for sure these lips deep red demostrate the power I desire, I wasn’t trying to show off the person behind this mask I wanted the artistry I made to last.
Empowerment Quote “Allow the essence of your insecurities & imperfections reveal your natural beauty”.
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THEIR VALI DATION Losing sight of what’s real I just wanted to be accepted Those that made amusement out of my humiliation just took advantage, soon I began to fade I was so blind to the destruction my spirit couldn’t manage in their eyes, my body was a mere catastrophe constantly struggling with my appearance, those hurtful words your nothing you will never be good enough your a mistake pure tragedy framed my vision, yet continued to stretch the truth No one realized my potential as a person, no one gave a fuck | or two Of the tears that ran down my face didn’t erase this fate That the hole in my heart slowly deepened with every breath I take I had no one to turn to I tried to surrender, obey, even comply I was useless My confirmation about who I wanted to be was the true test.
Empowerment Quote
“Your own confirmation is key to living. Don’t let anyone ekse validate your existence for you”.
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SCARED OF BEAUTIFUL I could never fathom the flaws of my physicality Something inside of me rejected morality Visions in my mind embedded society’s perfect mannequin Forgetting my flaws, green light just pass them up Hating the immense weight that I carried around Not only on my shoulders, but I refused To love myself for whom I was emotionally abused They sodomized thoughts of what was perfection Neglecting my mind, forgetting my personality CORRECTION Sometimes it was even worse looking at my own reflection No real friends just fake personas I looked up to other people defined what I believed to be beautiful Why was I so scared?
Empowerment Quote
“Accept your flaws, own them, show them off to the world, & don’t forget being real is the new perfect”.
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LETTING GO I was all about giving chances and taking risks No matter the pain, isolation made me sick Down to an empty stomach no more butterflies Popping out in the sky which shielded to protect my heart Forget about being afraid of what people might think I just need the reality to settle down and link Into my brain that I will never |BE THEM I will never be her, or those created sins that will soon linger within the release of this purity slowly slipping through my fingers I wanted that respect don’t forget their approval That determined my rank Judge me all you want They will never know my story, They’re just on the outside looking in, but my spirit felt the glory.
Empowerment Quote
“Brace yourself, there will be hard times, but just remember never to lose yourself in the process”.
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Devastation Forced to grow out of my immature ways I saw a side of man that put me to shame I was vulnerable and open something fluid My image of what was about to happen instantly MUTED I was stripped of all my innocence Nobody to call for help, my body got tense Losing all sensation just powerless and weak His dominance overshadowed & exposed me Just left me lying in field of my burned past memories inked like my pride shattered alone I was his main target he always had good aim All it took was nine strokes of his endless ego to rip me apart, never leaving it paved which I thought I saved up to this point I realized history repeats itself, yet this wasn’t an encore He never cared about me it was never his approach Goodbye to my independence I was just another regular.
Empowerment Quote
“Everything happens for a reason, but you have to promise yourself to not let your past destroy you”.
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Alterations Trying to cope with the lost mechanisms in my mind wondering lost in a galaxy deep losing my sanity, I can’t speak I guess the saying is as good as you get what you ask for right? Now I’m just living with the repercussions, & now the consequences furthermore Once again abandoned, you would think that since I’m no longer pure now I would be pleased Sometimes it only takes one alteration to change an entire outfit That I planned out in order to grab his concentration that lead to this I didn’t ask for this, I merely begged for him to stop suffocating my Ideas and dreams with his basic measurements of the next female It was time that I found a new spool of thread to sew up these torn lies With my head held high, I decided to up and leave this lifestyle I crowned Resigning from a throne I was never suited for I needed to be healed, or maybe it was more.
Empowerment Quote
“Gain control over your life, own your voice and be heard. All pain is temporary”.
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Self Rehabilitation Erase the lines connecting those who didn’t care enough Evaluating who my friends were, I was truly accepting “ME” All that makeup destroyed, I wanted bare raw skin flaunted I was feeling better already Grabbing all those clothes that sqantly exposed my flesh DISGARDED Material things no longer ruled my world, I needed NOTHING I was seeking something from a “name” tag when my value was already priceless I could only blame myself I needed to save myself from delivering my soul to everyone besides my creator I wanted to be beneath others just to rise above the statistical add up the numbers of the people that are still in my corner all along “rooting” for me to fail I lay all that to rest, I will reach up for a new tomorrow, because yesterday is beneath me. I was beginning to see my faith. This is my clean slate floating away.
Empowerment Quote
“Once you realize to put yourself first, you will never settle for less”.
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My Worth is ... My worth is a thousand words that a picture captures, its the timeless hours I think about learning to love myself I used to windowshop for a new persona when the one contained within me was more valuable that I imagined Processing all the things I recently encountered left me drifting farther and farther away from the lies, decete, pain, and exploitation, it clearly wasn’t cut out for me I used to think missing out on getting certain attention was a complete loss yet I had just begun to win the challenge of something way deeper Focused so much on the impression I was leaving distracted me from the progression I was setting up I am no longer ashamed of my significance, my body or my capabilities I am just glad I realized who I was becoming before I let my heart diminish & my mind minimize.
Empowerment Quote
“Nobody can ever add up to what your worth. You are priceless�.
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I AM ALPHA FEMME I am profound my past no longer dictates the events in my present My strength carries forth the very lessons I created a moral for No longer letting others allow my fears to surface, they will never understand my purpose Moving forward searching for the better details I missed before, my reflection is viivd, my throne is your pyramid, I am on top now I know that every struggle has its rewards, and this too shall pass No longer will I blend in I was made to stand out My survival will leak through to others that search for this same answer My heart is no longer for ransom I feel the power that I needed I am no longer terrified of being beautiful, my insights of intellect appear clearer than ever I will never surrender My mistakes are stepping stones to success I will never allow anyone to bring me down I am the best I can be.
Empowerment Quote
“Allow yourself to grow and enjoy valuing all of your hearts content�.
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THANK YOU PAGE
I would like to thank all those individuals that never believed in me, because without that fear on my side I would of never found success. Thank you to the people that put me through drastic situations because I am way much stronger, and those lessons have made me wiser now. I would like to Thank my parents and the true friends that I have left for uplifting me, believing in me, embracing who I was created to be, took me as I am, and appreciated someone who needed a helping hand. It is okay to forgive those that hurt you because those lessons you gained were meant to teach you something. I am forever indebted to myself, and I will never forget what I been through. I will never look back, but I will always remember to look forward knowing that I am proud enough to be a strong woman ready to conquer it all. Loving Me Always, ALPHA FEMME