COACH.ME - I AM THE CAPTAIN OF MY SOUL
I AM THE CAPTAIN OF MY SOUL Using the past and the future to improve our present
By Coach-Me Š June 6th, 2014
"I am the master of my fate: I am the captain of my soul." That's how William Ernest Henley ends the poem "Invictus" which would make history and impact in the lives of many, as for example, Nelson Mandela. "I am the master of my fate, I am the captain of my soul": these words, so full of energy, what message they bring? We live in the present. Here and now. However, the past and the future are part of our present. That's good? Oh yeah! The problem arises when the past and the future are part of the present but in the wrong way, which restricts us more than help. There are many books, articles, quotes that alert us to the importance of living in the present, living fully aware of the moment. It is a difficult challenge. What we are today, what we think, feel, the way we act / react is the result of our past. Our learnings, our skills, memories, are only possible because of the past. Therefore, our past is always present. The problem begins when we look at the past as something negative, with feelings of regret (Why did not I do otherwise? If it were today ...), feelings of guilt and remorse that leads us to a state of depression and lack of power. What can we do to change something that has already happened? The past is unchangeable. What we can change is the way we look at the past. And this is done in the present, so we can say that our power is in the "now." It's in the present that we act, that we use the resources of our past (memories, knowledge, skills, ...). The past has brought us this far. What we are today is a result of all that we lived. Why not start looking for the past as perfect? However bad it might have been, it gives us feedback, allowed us to see clearly what we do not want, what we dislike and don't want for our life. Therefore, by contrast, has taught us what we want and what we like. And the future? Often a source of concern that ends up in a lot of pre-occupations: previous occupations, which consume energy and prevent us from living happy in the present moment. The future may frighten. We fear what we do not know. Therefore, often the option is to maintain a situation in our life that does not makes us happy, but which is familiar to us, in which we know Page 1 of 3
COACH.ME - I AM THE CAPTAIN OF MY SOUL
what to expect. Makes us feel safe and secure. The future is unknown, so it can create a sense of lack of control and cause feelings of fear and anxiety. On the other hand, the future is the World of all possibilities. It's about the future that we dream. It is in the future that all dreams are possible. So why not switch to using the future as something good and useful to us? The future is where we can go in our imagination, to clarify what we want to build in our lives. The challenge is to work on this, going to the past to seek for resources and then go to the future, to decide how we want our life to be. The past has taught us what we do not want. If there is something that you do not want, then what you want instead of that? How you would like to be next time? Thinking and answering these questions is to use the past and the future in a positive way. To help you decide what to do in the present to pursue the objectives that you project into your future, you can use a structured methodology: the 4D Cycle. Widely used in individual and team coaching, this methodology guides you through four phases: a trip to the past, then a trip to the future and then focus on the present to draw an action plan and put it into practice. The name of 4D Cycle has its origin in the first letter of each one of these steps: 1) Discovery; 2) Dream; 3) Design (of the Action Plan); 4) Destiny. The first step is to choose the topic: something that you want to change or to do differently in your life. You can start from a problem, an objective, something that you don't have and would like to achieve. After choose the topic, you can begin the Discovery. Let's look at the past and discover resources: •
What experiences have you lived in similar contexts that might help?
•
What resources do you have? The list of features is endless: skills, friends, family, Internet, computer, money, car, languages spoken, ideas... The more resources you identify, the more confident you will feel about achieving the goal.
•
What are your main strengths?
After this trip to the past, let's take a creative leap in our imagination into the future. The aim is to create the clearest possible mental image of the desired future state. Imagine that at this very moment, you achieved your goal. What you see around you? Where are you? Who is with you? What do you hear? What do you feel? What emotion dominates? This is the stage of the Dream. And if you have the chance to dream, why not dream exactly as you want it to be? Adjust your mental image to match, exactly what you want. After these two trips – to the past and to the future - you will return to present and draw the action Page 2 of 3
COACH.ME - I AM THE CAPTAIN OF MY SOUL
plan. What tasks do you have to perform in order to achieve your desired state? Write a detailed task list, set a start date to begin working in the task and its deadline. Be specific. Set the day and month, not just "end of the first quarter�. If it refers to a frequency, set the exact day, for example, instead of being only "once a week", set "on Wednesday." The tasks and the dates must correspond to something that you believe you are able to perform. Otherwise, it will be difficult to invest effort and energy into something that you don't believe. But remember: nothing is impossible, the only impossible is what we believe that is impossible. The last phase - Destiny - is putting into practice the tasks outlined in the action plan. Which one is the first step?
Remember: you are the master of your fate, you are the captain of your soul!
COACH-ME  HELPING YOU TO RELEASE YOUR POTENTIAL Give me your feedback, ask questions or share your experience Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/coachmech Online coaching at Skype: coach-me.ch
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