Leading the Lost in Love After Lockdown

By Renee Slansky

Welcome to the New World

We are no longer observing the romantic interest that develops in a Hollywood blockbuster when boy meets girls during a global virus outbreak –we are living it.

Save the zombie apocalypse, it’s safe to say we never thought that as humans and coaches we would have to lead people throughout a global pandemic due to the COVID-19 outbreak that ravaged our planet and population.

Leading even without all the answers

As coaches, we are now called to uncharted waters. We are navigating a sea of questions, uncertainty and unprecedented events that have affected humanity both physically, mentally, emotionally and even economically.

Whether your clients have been isolated solely or with a significant other, either way the balance has been thrown and any fundamental ‘rules’ we have long taught now need to be adjusted.

We can no longer prescribe them the usual tactics that involve the same level of human contact or social outlet to enhance their life, perspective or relationship.

Like them, we are also placed under limits to preserve health, safety and protect the ones at risk. And so, we need to know how to be able to still give direction that is effective even under restriction.

Unfamiliar questions will be asked, your capacity will be expanded and more than ever your ability to be able to lead and coach will be tested.

Your clients will not only lean on you for guidance and advice but will also be seeking your leadership as their light in the tunnel of post Covid-19 confusion and fear.

They will expect you to have the answers to something that we are all still working out.

In short you are building the plane whilst you are already mid-air and people are counting on you not to crash.

Isolation has brought revelation or desolation

Isolation has not brought solitude and peace. It has caused revelation or desolation and even desperation.

The world has been forced into a universal traumatic event that has affected people beyond what they were prepared for.

Issues in relationships and marriages that were dormant or swept under the rug are now rearing their ugly heads. Identity, purpose, love, life, all of it is being questioned now.

Confinement is the magnifying glass we have all been avoiding, but now your clients want to know how to put the fire out.

Now is not a time to dissect, but rather direct.

We all know that the 2 main reasons why people create toxic cycles in their life is because of fear and lack. Whether it is a lack of knowledge or self-love or perhaps a fear of failure or being hurt –either way these two are now heightened because of the global pandemic.

Your clients have been released back into the wild, eager to be able to return to normality; but completely clueless on how to be able to do that successfully now that a new normal exists.

Right now, they don’t need the WHY; they need the HOW

They are lost sheep needing a shepherd. They are individuals and couples who have had months of reflection, conflict, frustration or loneliness and are now expected to perform as they did before confinement, which leaves them feeling even more isolated and confused.

They have had time to digest internally all their fears, worry and issues –now they need a plan of action to help them move past them and not allow these struggles to become their identity.

Your clients will need daily actions and achievable plans that can give them both instant and long-term results.

They need to feel like they haven’t lost control; that progression and even acceleration is something they have access to.

They need something tangible, positive and within the train lines that they can stay on track and feel like they have a GPS on what to do, where to go and how to react when it comes to building relationships in apocalyptic times.

Closing the gap.

After months of telling people to physically distance, it is now a time for reconnection between the divide. People have been living off fear and a newly constructed reality, so it’s time to teach them that human connection is the basis of building strong and functional relationships.

We need to be able to once again highlight the importance of being able to share energy and personal interaction with people we want to build a relationship with, without the fear of being wounded or infected in the process.

Truth is you will have two type of clients –the first will be clients who want to go full throttle into love after months of withdrawal. They will be inclined to rush the beginning stages of dating or justify toxic decisions in a relationship. They crave intimacy and physical touch and want to feel like they can orchestrate love.

Typically, this type of client will experience dating fatigue, love burnout and most likely become attached to people they know little about.

The second type of clients are the ones who will tread lightly. They will be hesitant, anxious, even avoidant to be able to reconnect again due to fear of being infected or perhaps scared to break the safety bubble they have created in isolation.

This type of client needs a push. They need to be reassured that they can still control their love life without having fear as the driving force.

Either way both types need accountability.

The future is what we make it.

The future is what we make it.

One of the most limiting mindsets that I have professionally encountered during this time is that people believe “this year is over” for them, even though we are only halfway through.

They have resigned to failure, low expectations and disappointment because of the last few months of havoc.

Your clients need inspiration. They need to know that the past doesn’t equal the future and that they still have the power of choice.

Right now, they need to feel that things can turn around even if the first 6 months didn’t go to plan. They need to feel hope again and have a new vision in their heart and mind.

You have the answers, trust your ability

Whilst you may not have all the answers, you do have more clarity then they do. This is a time to adapt and believe that despite the crisis of yesterday and the uncertainty of tomorrow, we can still lead people even through troubled waters.

Renee Slansky is an Australian TV presenter, writer, professional blogger and dating and relationship coach, whose purpose and heart for women compelled her to educate people on how to find, build and cultivate healthy and fulfilling relationships. Her own blog www.thedatingdirectory.co is now the number 1 dating and relationship blog in Australia.

Renee contributes advice regularly to some of the biggest online dating sites and publications globally including The Huffington Post, E Harmony, Plenty of Fish, Your Tango, MamaMia, The Good Men Project, The Love Destination and Yahoo 7.

www.thedatingdirectory.co

As a professional coach, Renee has built an online programme for women and mentors both men and women around the world. She is often called to comment as an expert for on the radio and Channel 7’s The Morning Show and Sunrise and speaks at events. Her mission to bring about love education into schools and change a generation.