Love at first light

Rona Trachtenberg

The couple’s blissful journey started two and a half years ago when they spotted each other on Zoosk.com – an online dating site known to be popular among adults 50+ years of age.

When Deborah Vigeant and Thomas Conway connected, they learned that they shared a passion for lighthouses. Vigeant, who is a retired advertising account executive and a certified dog trainer, had visited lighthouses all around Rhode Island while she had lived in Barrington. Thomas appreciates the history, structure and functionality of lighthouses, as he was an elevator constructor for 33 years and has served as the Commonwealth’s South Coast Elevator Inspector for the past 11 years.

“I have always wanted to live in Mattapoisett,” said Conway, who first visited the quaint, nautical town three decades ago and placed living there on his bucket list. As the couple’s relationship blossomed, they decided to purchase their dream home in Mattapoisett. Then, they began contemplating locations to get married. Their first and only choice was in front of the very photographic Ned’s Point Lighthouse.

Their next step was to visit the Mattapoisett Town Hall to secure a marriage license. Vigeaunt said, “We were given a list with the names of three local justices of the peace to consider. We googled each one, read their bios, and liked best what we learned about Joseph F. Dawicki III.”

Dawicki was approved by the Governors Council and appointed a justice of the peace by Governor William Weld in 1991; he is a chaplain for the Inter Church Council of New Bedford and on their Board of Directors; a USCG Auxiliarist for 33 years; a Mason for 27 years; serves on the Advisory Board for Greater New Bedford Voc Tech for 24 years; and ministers to people with addiction. His career path was with EMS and firefighting. “He seemed like a very good man,” said Vigeaunt. “We felt an immediate connection with him, although we had never met him.”

Sweet serendipity

While getting a haircut from Jodi Lynn Bauer, owner of the Clipper Barber Shop and Mattapoisett’s Vice-Chair Selectwoman, Conway learned about the town’s monthly Mishawum Club social gatherings, where men who were new residents and local professionals networked and met. When Conway attended his first meeting, he unknowingly just happened to sit next to Joseph F. Dawicki III. “We felt like we already knew him and liked him from our research,” said an enthusiastic Vigeaunt. Discussion ensued and it was decided that Conway and Vigeaunt would be married at the top of the lighthouse instead of just in front of it.

Before presiding over each wedding, which Dawicki has done 79 times over the past 31 of years, he interviews the prospective couples. “I was amazed by the level of detail, interest, and depth of the questions we were asked,” exclaimed Vigeaunt.

“These weren’t your average, run-of-themill questions,” added Conway.

“Joseph put so much energy and detail into the encounter,” continued Vigeaunt.

“It made us feel at ease because he was taking this so seriously. I think there was a little subliminal pre-marital counseling going on, but that was okay. You could see that this was a vocation for Joseph. He wasn’t asking to be paid for his services, just that a donation be made to the Ned’s Point Lighthouse Restoration Fund. As the interview ended, we were confident that Joseph would create a unique and personal set of vows for us and give us a very dignified ceremony.”

Dawicki explained his process. “Each ceremony is written specifically for that couple. No two are the same. I did research with manuals, such as ‘How to perform a wedding ceremony’ and as time went on, with experience, I created my unique set of interview questions. It is very important to know the couple if you want to make the ceremony personal and special.” He added, “I truly feel performing this service is a calling and it uplifts me spiritually. I find it very rewarding to be a justice of the peace and go the extra mile to make each couple’s wedding special and memorable.”

Dawicki has served as a deacon in two different churches in the past. Currently, he attends the Mattapoisett Congregational Church, where he led a Bible Study on Zoom during the Covid19 shutdown. Dawicki will nonetheless perform wedding ceremonies for people of different faiths. “As a chaplain and a justice of the peace, I bring no judgment when asked to do a ceremony. I do research each person’s religious background and include what they desire. The wedding is about the couple, not me. If they choose not to include any religious prayers or readings that is the choice of the couple and I do accommodate their wishes.”

The big day

Saturday, August 6 dawned bright, with blue skies, 89 degree temperature, and wind SSW at 16 knots. The happy couple arrived at Ned’s Point Lighthouse at 5 p.m. Their photographer was ready with her camera. They were all greeted by Dawicki, looking smart and official in his full USCG Auxiliary Dress Blue uniform as he unlocked the lighthouse and escorted all three inside.

As the couple ascended the 32 granite circular steps, they were in awe of the 184-year old building. Vigeaunt exclaimed, “I feel the soul of this old, beautiful structure.”

Conway remarked, “I feel the history of the men who built this important warning system that was born out of a great maritime need. It is a throwback from centuries. It is no wonder that it is on the National Registry of Historic Places.”

Once at the top, Dawicki positioned the couple in the lee of the tower to minimize the high winds that still blew Vigeaunt’s hair a bit. The bride observed, “You have no idea how breathtaking it is to be so high above the ground and water. The 360 degree views are amazing.”

The groom added, “We were able to see Martha’s Vineyard and the Elizabeth Islands. Being up here has allowed us to feel like we are now part of the Mattapoisett community.”

Once the couple were formally married and safely escorted to the ground level, Dawicki handed them a keepsake binder containing the written version of their wedding vows and the service that they approved prior to the ceremony. Dawicki wisely advises each married couple, “In the future, when you have a bad day, read your service and remember why you got married.”

When asked whether they would recommend this wedding experience to others, Mr. & Mrs. Conway agreed: “Absolutely, without equivocation. This is such a unique venue, intimate and stupendous setting. It is nice to be alone at the top of our community. This was a priceless experience. Future couples will really enjoy getting married up here and especially if it officiated by Joseph.”

Dawicki added, “Spring and summer are very popular seasons for our large weddings in front of the lighthouse. I have even performed a ceremony on New Year’s Day. Very few have been married at the top of the lighthouse, because of limited space. It is truly a special, personal and memorable experience.”

Conway concluded, “Living in Mattapoisett, with 6,500 other happy souls, has exceeded our expectations. I am blessed to be living the finest years of my life here, at 65, with Deborah, my wonderful new wife.”