IF GETTING A SECOND CHANCE

ISOLATION NATION

The urge to pull away and isolate is a common reaction when it comes to difficult emotions, including sadness, depression, shame, guilt, fear, anxiety, and even anger. It could signal that something significant is taking place in a child's internal and/or external world.

by Bowling Smith

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here is something going on with Generation Z. Gen Z refers to people born between 1995 and 2010. The “Z” in the name means “zoomer,” as this is the first generation known to “zoom” through the Internet. Most of those who are a part of Gen Z are the children of Generation X. Gen Z kids are the first generation to be born after the Internet was invented. It’s believed that this generation is unlike any before it. They have access to everything. They can search for any answer and therefore have the most insight into life, earlier than any generation before them. This “view the world from my bedroom mentality,” can offer a level of isolation because they spend so much time on their phone, alone. They feel connected to the world, but they are disconnected — disconnected from touch, human interaction, and intimacy resulting in a lack of interpersonal communication skills.

THE INTERNET EFFECT

Gen Z, the first generation never to know the world without the Internet, values diversity and finding their own unique

identities, says Stanford scholar Roberta Katz. Katz did over 120 interviews with people in the Gen Z age group and found them to be pragmatic. Katz concluded that Internet-related technologies have dramatically changed the speed, scale, and scope of human communications, resulting in significant changes in how people work, play, shop, find friends, and learn about other people. For Gen Zers living in the US and UK (the two places they studied), the “norm” they experienced as children was a world that operated at speed, scale, and scope. They developed an early facility with powerful digital tools that allowed them to be self-reliant, as well as collaborative. Similarly, because they could learn about people and cultures around the globe from an early age, they developed a greater appreciation for diversity and the importance of finding their own unique identities. So, Gen Zers, while smarter and more aware of the world around them, also tend to feel like they don’t need to venture out as much because they’ve seen so much so early. VIDEO GAMES AND EMPATHY

One systematic review from 2017 links excessive gaming to psychological conditions such as depression, anxiety, and obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), particularly in young adults and adults.

Excessive gaming! Parents all over the country are struggling to get their teenage boys off video games. Kids today spend hour after hour playing first-person shooting games. No one really understands the impact of this excessive behavior. But everyone can agree that with so much time spent in front of a TV playing games, the kids aren’t getting the necessary socialization skills that they need to mature into independent, healthy, and functioning adults. “My son spends so much time playing video games, he has no desire for girls, driving the family, or anything else that seems normal to me,” Amanda said. Christine said, “My son won’t even come out of the room to eat. I have to take food into him just to get him to eat.” Additionally, there have been studies that show kids who excessively play video games lack empathy toward others. This is creating a numbing effect were boys who feel bullied, isolated, and lonely might react and cause pain to classmates. School shootings are often committed by teenagers who feel ignored or hurt by family, peers, and the community. Psychologically, these teens aren’t developing properly based on a lack of touch from another person (mother, father, sibling, partner), they lack quality friendships that offer support and encouragement, and they aren’t growing to understand the responsibilities of good citizenship that includes real-life experiences.

ISOLATION COMES AT A COST

Humans are wired to be communal and connected with others. So, when we become socially isolated from others, it can affect our mental health. Therefore, it’s extremely important to take notice when a child withdraws from family and friends. It could signal that something significant is taking place in the child’s internal and/or external world. Here are some causes to pay attention to if your child decides to be too self-isolated:

• Event: Being bullied about their appearance: • Child's thought: “I’m not like the other girls. I’m not good enough.” • Child’s feelings: Shame and self-consciousness. • Child’s reaction: Isolating from other children and avoiding those bullying her. • Event: Recent loss of a loved one or relationship (e.g., a death, a parent’s divorce, a breakup, a close friend moving away):

• Child's thought: “This hurts so much and isn’t getting better.”

• Child’s feelings: Sadness and grief. • Child’s reaction: Avoiding activities and social connections.

• Event: Reminders of past traumatic events where they were in danger or witnessed danger:

• Child's thought: “I’m not safe. People are dangerous.” • Child’s feelings: Fear and