10 minute read
GLOBAL VOICES
God's Great Mercies and Our Great Dependence
By Heather Owens
Most gracious God by whose knowledge the depths are broken up, and the clouds drop down the dew; We yield thee unfeigned thanks and praise for the return of seed-time and harvest, for the increase of the ground and the gathering in of the fruits thereof, and for all other blessings of thy merciful providence bestowed upon this nation and people. And, we beseech thee, give us a just sense of these great mercies; such as may appear in our lives by an humble, holy, and obedient walking before thee all our days…
from The Book of Common Prayer, revised in 1928
I came across this prayer as I was thinking about celebrating Thanksgiving in the coming weeks. The prayer (like many of the stories and images in the Bible) is tied to our human experience of the created world and of cultivating it. The prayer celebrates God's providence in broken soil, spring dew, planting and harvest. It assumes that we don't need to look far beyond our back doors to see God's provision and that giving thanks does not need to be "feigned" or drummed up. The prayer asks that this profound sense of God's great mercies will bubble over into humble obedience. I resonate with the beauty and the truth of this prayer. At the same time, I haven't really lived the experience it describes. I don't have dirt under my nails and muck boots under my porch. Not many of us are farmers anymore. At least not those of us living in the Chicago suburbs or in the heart of Hanoi, Vietnam. It can be difficult for us to appreciate the extent of a farmer’s labors or the degree to which he must depend upon God for circumstances outside of his own control. We can only imagine spending months at back-breaking work in the spring chill and the summer heat just to see our crops wither for lack of rain or wash away in a flood or be riddled by pests.
When we pluck our produce from the refrigerated shelves at a supermarket, we forget that the food sustaining us required dirt and sun and water and, above all, the kindness of God to grow. If we think about it at all, we might be thankful that berries are in season or that chicken is on sale. We risk losing a deep sense of dependence upon God’s mercy to meet our needs. If we lose this sense of dependence upon God, we drift ever so gradually to depending upon ourselves. I feel this temptation, and it has made me thankful for the things in my own experience that remind me of my dependence and of God’s great mercy to me.
I am two generations removed from farmers, but my grandpa and my dad were determined gardeners. I say “determined” because northern Michigan summers are short, the soil is rocky, and the chipmunks are voracious. Eventually, my dad plowed his garden under and planted a hardy sort of grass. It was just too much work with too uncertain a reward.
We have reconnected with farming through my husband’s students. Daniel is a professor and the academic dean at Hanoi Bible College, which opened in 2013 with 25 students. Now the school has 84 graduates and 85 current students. They meet in the bustling center of Hanoi’s Old Quarter. Daniel teaches in Vietnamese because that is the shared language at the school. Most of his students, however, are H’mong, Dao, San Chi, Muong or other minority ethnic groups. They come to Hanoi from the mountains which rise above the Red River Delta and form the border with China and Laos. When the students are at home in their villages, they eke out a living growing corn and rice and root vegetables in terraced fields on the sides of the mountains. After the work in the fields is finished, they teach and serve their congregations.
Over the years, we’ve prayed for students dealing with homes destroyed by mudslides, water buffalo killed in an unusual cold snap, and family members badly injured in farming accidents. We’ve also rejoiced when harvests were plentiful, and villages prospered. We visited one church that was celebrating the completion of their new building. They were especially excited about having a tiled, concrete floor instead of the usual well-swept dirt floor. The pastor’s residence was a lean-to off the back with an open fire for cooking. He joyfully showed us a pig snuffling in a stall next door and destined for a village feast the following day.
All this is so different from our everyday life in a modern, global city. The students allow us a glimpse into the special awareness farmers have of their dependence upon God and the gratitude they naturally feel when God protects and sustains them. They live near to the margin, but they also live near to their Provider. While I am thankful that I have been able to enter into the experience of the students through their stories and prayer requests, it is still a secondhand experience. There is something even nearer that reminds me of our family’s dependence upon a merciful God—support raising.
Support raising is a part of the ministry of most missionaries, but it rarely shows up in our stories except as an appeal at the end. We shrink from talking about it because we feel the weight of a million ways to offend or to make conversations uncomfortable. I’ve felt this weight and sometimes wearied of it. On the other hand, receiving support provides a constant reminder of God’s goodness to us through the kindness and generosity of his people. We have an “invisible shield” protecting us from the temptation to trust in ourselves or in our own labor. We work hard at the tasks God has given us, and we receive a regular salary from our organization, but at the same time, we know our income depends fully upon God’s provision.
I had a conversation recently with family members who were lamenting the rising costs of fuel, food and other essentials (something we’ve all felt). They expressed frustration that their hard-earned savings were dwindling far more quickly than they expected. As a retired couple,
they felt powerless to earn more. Naturally, they were anxious and even a bit angry at this sense of helplessness. In the middle of that conversation, I realized the true blessing that living on support has been. We do not have the illusion that our resources are self-earned. We are deeply aware that they are God-given. You might say that we’ve grown used to helplessness—to dependence.
As Americans we love independence, and we boast about self-reliance. We celebrate clever entrepreneurs and savvy investors. While it is admirable to value hard work and delight in a job well-done, these things can betray us. They can lead us to believe that we are responsible for our success and for our circumstances and even for our future.
I’ve recently been working part-time as a content writer for the online resource Bibles.net. When the first paycheck showed up in our account, I remember thinking, “Wow, finally money that is really mine.” In that moment, I was shocked at myself. I felt very Gollum-like, clutching numbers in a bank account like my very own ring of power. For more than twenty years, God has met every need we’ve had and then some. Our salary, given by God’s people, has always been enough. Why was I suddenly so gleeful about the opportunity to do things on my own? For that matter, why did I even think that it was on my own? God had provided the relationship that provided the job that provided the income. He provided my education and created me with a love for words (and grammar and punctuation). He gave me time and creativity and clarity to communicate. How did my small role suddenly become so supreme?
It isn’t wrong to work hard and to be rewarded for that work. It isn’t wrong to enjoy those rewards. These are good impulses that come naturally to us as image bearers. God himself celebrated a job well done (Genesis 1-2). The problem arises when we begin thinking that we are doing the work on our own and that our successes and rewards belong to us by rights. I feel this danger because I know how easily my good desire for order can become an unhealthy need to control. I’ve seen how my good delight in work well done can become merely selfish pride. When we forget that we are fully dependent upon God, we so easily drift toward depending on ourselves. Without even realizing it, we begin to make mini gods of ourselves. Suddenly, the future lies in our hands, and we are terrified of it.
There is unexpected freedom in dependence upon God.Small children don’t worry about where their clothing orfood will come from. They depend upon their parents.Jesus calls his followers to this kind of dependence. Hetells us to stop and look at the birds of the air. Althoughthey do not plant or harvest or store up provisions, Godfeeds them. Of course, Jesus says, people are even moreprecious to God than the birds (see Matthew 6:26). Jesusisn’t telling us not to work. He is telling us that in ourworking and in our resting we must trust God. We mustdepend on him. This dependence quiets our anxiousthoughts and stills our fretful pacing. Dependence allowsus to “seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness”(Matthew 6:33) because we are confident that God willsupply all we need.
Dependence upon God for our immediate needs breedsgratitude. When our needs are met (again and again andagain), we are filled with thankfulness to God. We donot have to scratch our heads to remember what we arethankful for because the very roof over our heads andfood in front of us bears witness to God’s goodness. Oursense of God’s great mercy can be seen in our lives aswe walk in humble, holy obedience, faithfully doing thevarious tasks he has given us. This is what the Book ofCommon Prayer calls us to remember and to pray.
Like my dad, I sometimes think of plowing the garden underand letting it go to grass. I feel drawn to work that doesn’tinvolve uncertainty and variables outside of my control.I weary of the awkwardness of needing support fromothers. Then I recall that my need is a blessing. It is a stringaround my finger reminding me of my dependence uponGod. Like the farmer who praises God when the barometerrises, we are moved to gratitude when we check ouraccount each month. We are humbled and encouragedand blessed. College Church, as our sending church, playsa significant role in that as do many dear friends in thecongregation. Thank you for being the means by whichGod has provided for us. Thank you also for helping toremind us of our good dependence upon him.
