FIFTEEN PRINCIPLES OF feedback and CRITICISM from the College of Mental Health Counselling
FIFTEEN PRINCIPLES OF FEEDBACK AND CRITICISM by Daniel Keeran, MSW, President (a Christian) College of Mental Health Counselling www.ctihalifax.com
Do you mind if tell you that I am a Christian? I would like to know the worldview of any author I read. Maybe we can start a new trend and shift the culture toward greater transparency. If my identity is an obstacle, think about why as you read on. How to offer criticism in a way that is most likely to be accepted, is the subject of this discussion paper. The essential underlying value is the equal worth and dignity of every human being and the belief that everyone deserves to be treated with respect. These values are derived from the teachings of Jesus of Nazareth. This short list of principles of feedback and criticism, is presented here for discussion purposes: 1. Seek permission: "Do you mind if I....." 2. Inquire what it was like to hear the criticism: "What was it like to hear me say that?" 3. Avoid frequent criticism unless it is the purpose of the group. 4. Avoid using anger with criticism. 5. Distinguish hate and passion: "I feel strongly because I care." 6. State your intention to be helpful: "If my words are unhelpful, disregard them......" 7. State your criticism as your opinion: "What I am about to say is my opinion or belief." 8. Avoid dominating or speech-making, yelling, name-calling, demeaning or humiliating language, sarcastic put down’s, angry physical actions, and language perceived as offensive. 9. Intend your criticism to be constructive rather than judgmental or condemning or to punish or emotionally hurt the person. 10. If possible, avoid criticizing the personal integrity or character of the person who is present. 11. When raising issues of personal integrity, tell the person you want to challenge their standard of values, and ask permission to proceed: “Do you mind if I raise an issue about your standard of values?” 12. Express your value for the other person’s opinion or response by reflecting it back as sincerely and accurately as you can: “Do you mind if I tell you what I think I heard you say?” 13. Confrontation can be effective if it results in improvement. If confrontation is negatively received, you may have pushed a past-trauma button and/or you may have been aggressive or destructive in your style. Consider the risk to the other and yourself. 14. Sometimes just a hint is all that is needed. If you go in too hard, you may get push-back. Try a hint first, and see if it works. 15. Remember that your agenda, past trauma, personal desires, personal values and beliefs, or worldview inform what constitutes improvement in the other person.