Secrets of Roommate
Harmony
Living with a roommate can be a challenging part of the transition to college but harmony is possible! Here are five tips to share with your first-year student. By Kate Gallop
1. Go in with an open mind.
2. Set expectations before problems arise.
Before I got to college, I thought picking my roommate would be the make-or-break factor of freshman year. I imagined worst case scenarios, best case scenarios and everything in between.
Unspoken expectations are at the root of a lot of conflict. Make your needs clear while also remaining open to your roommate’s preferences. Many colleges will connect random roommates through a short survey about living styles, and you will probably need to fill out a roommate agreement (going over things like cleanliness, schedules, visitors, etc.) in the first few weeks. Not all conflict is about room logistics, but having those expectations clear from the start can make living together much easier.
Two years in, I realize how important it is to enter a new living situation with optimism and openness. My first-year roommate became someone who made me feel less lonely during my adjustment. College is a new experience for both of you. You will find what works for you and learn what you want in a sophomore roommate. “If you shake off your expectations as best you can, you will have a more natural and positive relationship. I loved my freshman roommate, but even the people I know who didn’t learned more about themselves and learned to live with others better in the process.” – Sophomore, Washington University in St. Louis
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It’s necessary to talk about conflict as it comes up, but many misunderstandings can be avoided by talking upfront. This means giving your roommate the space to express concerns, too. Your RA can be a great resource for advice and conflict resolution if needed. “My roommate would stay up a lot later most nights and I had a hard time sleeping with her desk light on. After this kept happening, I asked if she could find a common room on our floor to study in when I’m trying to sleep. She was really understanding, and it made living with her a lot easier.” – Sophomore, CU Boulder
Fall 2021
