Advice from a Residence Life Student Leader

Family Communication

Agree on how regularly you’ll talk. It’s incredible how loving, engaged kids disappear once they get to school. I’ve also worked with students who called home too much. Having a general idea of when you will catch up frees kids from feeling pressured to respond to every text and gives parents a sense of relief. Don’t be lulled into a false sense of security as the semester cranks up and things quiet down. Situations that blow up in December result from the smallest dark clouds forming on the horizon in September and October. I like the analogy of a car’s alignment. The slightest degree of misalignment over 10 feet is almost imperceptible, but given enough distance and speed, that same misalignment leads to the vehicle flipping over into a ditch. Self-Care for Parents

The way you parent when your child is out of the house requires a serious examination of your distress-tolerance skills. Consider working with a therapist if you’re anxious about your student’s well-being even after you’ve done all the above. You encourage your student to take care of themselves — you need to do the same. And remember: Most situations in which our kids find themselves are not as good or as bad as they believe them to be. Set a calm, intentional tone at the beginning of the semester with regular check-ins throughout — and enjoy the ride.

While working as an RA in college, I learned a lot about helping students through challenging times. The best thing family members can do is listen to and love your student, and encourage them to engage in wellness programs and opportunities.

What Services are Available onCampus?

There is support right in your student’s very own dorm! Residence Life staff care about students and are a key resource. Developing a relationship with their RA can be a lifeline for a first-year student. And it’s absolutely worth checking out what’s going on at the campus counseling center. In addition to scheduled appointments with a counselor, the center is likely to offer workshops, walk-in sessions, and peerled support groups. Students can get help with:

• Dealing with the adjustment to a new school and group of peers • Lack of motivation, difficulty concentrating • Feeling anxious or stressed • Lack of confidence/low self-esteem • Sleep problems • Feeling lonely or isolated • Family or relationship issues • Career/life choices • Concerns about substance or alcohol use

It’s important to know what resources are available and to encourage your student to take the first step if you sense they’re struggling. But it’s always best not to pressure them. They may not feel comfortable discussing their emotional health with you. Ask what you can do for them and they’ll tell you what they need.

If you feel your student needs immediate help, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255 for free, confidential support 24/7. New in 2022: Call, text or chat 988 to be connected to trained counselors that are part of the existing NSPL network.