Thursday, January 26, 2012 Print Edition by Collegiate Times

Rock, reggae, butter BY PATRICK MURPHY | features editor Band names are often quirky, but they aren’t usually decided based on a game of beer pong. Enter: The Golden Butter Band. “We played a game of beer pong and whatever team won decided what the name would be because (the band) couldn’t agree on it,” said Alex Kerns, a guitarist and vocalist in the band. In the end, Golden Butter Band beat out Golden Butter Jam

and ended the dispute. Where exactly either of these names came from isn’t quite so clear. “I believe Willy, our lead singer, came up with Golden Butter Band,” Alex said. “I think it had something to do with butter being smooth, but really it’s just one of those things where somebody just thought of it.” see BAND / page two

COURTESY OF THE GOLDEN BUTTER BAND

Thursday, January 26, 2012

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Coming up short ZACH MARINER sports editor

The men’s basketball team lost in heartbreaking fashion last night, 70-68, to the visiting BYU Cougars. “It was a heck of a game,” said Seth Greenberg, head coach. “I’m really proud of our guys’ effort. We missed the first 15 shots or were for two for 20 or whatever in the beginning, but we continued to defend, and that kept us in the game.” Robert Brown missed a heavily contested three-pointer at the buzzer, dropping the team to 12-8, 1-4 on the year. see BASKETBALL / page ﬁve STEVEN SILTON / SPPS

Chu-Cho’s closes Midwinters goes western ASHLEY SEAGER news staff writer

PAUL KURLAK / SPPS

The Mexican restaurant Chu-Cho’s has become the most recent Blacksburg business to go under. KELSEY JO STARR news staff writer Chu-Cho’s Fresh Mexican Restaurant and Bar on Turner Street closed on Jan. 10, creating another vacancy in the town of Blacksburg. The restaurant’s cuisine was voted the second best Mexican food in the Best of Blacksburg 2011 edition, behind El Rodeo. Despite the rating, many students seemed apathetic to its closing. “There are better places for Mexican and margaritas,” said Matt Bays, a graduate student studying mechanical engineering. Chu-Cho’s is just one of sev-

eral stores to shut down in the area, including Books-A-Million in the First and Main shopping center and Ben and Jerry’s in Kent Square. “They weren’t able to keep it going and pay all their bills,” said Bob Pack, the owner of Pointe West Management, the company that owns the building ChuCho’s was located in. Pointe West also owns Kent Square. While other businesses have already started to look at the space, Pack said, Pointe West hasn’t chosen what company will take its place. Pack was not allowed to release what businesses are looking at the space. And Chu-Cho’s was unavailable to comment.

As swarms of Hokie fans flood the parking lots for tailgating festivities and filter their way into Lane Stadium for fall football games, there is a group of men standing outside shouting “programs.” Unbeknownst to most, those men are pledging to the nonGreek fraternal organization known as the G.E.R.M.A.N. Club. The funds they raise from program sales are used to continue one of the organization’s oldest traditions — the Midwinters Dance. Last year, 1,400 people sailed the seven seas with the club, but this Saturday, students are invited to explore the western frontier at the dance, which will take place from 8 p.m. to midnight in the Squires Commonwealth Ballroom. “Midwinters is open to the whole student population,” said O’Neill Hagen, the co-programs chair/publicist for Midwinters and a junior account major. “It’s a chance to meet new people and have a good time with friends. Most importantly, you don’t have to have a date to come.” Todd Atherton, the Midwinters co-chair and a junior construction engineering management major, promises attendees hours of dancing, a live cover band called The Dickens and a DJ — as well as over-the-top decorations. Club members have spent many hours constructing a collection of 3D props that will adorn the room. Light snacks and drinks will also be offered to party-goers.

Students arrested for series of larcenies

TRAHAN

HOLLERAN

NICK CAFFERKY news editor

KEVIN DICKEL / SPPS Members of the G.E.R.M.A.N. Club put up their 3D decorations in the ballroom.

more info Who: G.E.R.M.A.N. Club What: Midwinters Dance When: Saturday, Jan. 28, from 8 p.m. to midnight Where: Squires Commonwealth Ballroom Cost: $5 from club members, at the Squires Ticket Ofﬁce, or at the door, as well as at Midwinters. com with an extra $3.50 service charge

Blacksburg Police arrested two men who have been implicated in a series of larcenies strung from September 2011 to October 2011. Taylor M. Trahan and Patrick T. Holleran, both 19, are facing a combined 17 charges for stealing from unattended vehicles on multiple occasions in the Patrick Henry Drive area of Blacksburg. Trahan, arrested yesterday, has been charged with four counts of entering a vehicle to commit larceny, two counts of petit larceny and two counts of grand larceny. Holleran was arrested two days prior and charged with four counts of vehicle tampering, four counts of petit larceny and one count of possession of marijuana with intent to sell. Trahan is a general engineering major at Virginia Tech, and Hollaran is a business economics major.

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january 26, 2012 COLLEGIATETIMES

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Band: Berryville-based group to play 622 North

Group emphasizes copyright guidelines ERIN CHAPMAN news staff writer

COURTESY OF THE GOLDEN BUTTER BAND

from page one

The Golden Butter Band is venturing down to Blacksburg this weekend to play at 622 North. This Saturday, Jan. 28, they’ll be cranking out music from all three of their albums from 9 p.m. until midnight. While this will be the fivemember band’s first trip to this area, they are all natives of Virginia. The band members knew each other growing up in the small town of Berryville, Va. In 2006, Rick Batka, Cameron Gorman and Willy Matthews founded the band, with Alex joining shortly after. There was also a fifth member, a drummer, who was replaced about a year

later. “It was tough to kick out the old drummer because he was a close friend,” Alex said. “It was the toughest thing we’ve had to do as a band.” Alex’s brother Riley Kerns, who also played the drums and already knew the other members, soon filled the void, becoming the fifth member. From there, the group began perfecting its eclectic sound to match its equally eclectic name. “If I had to sum it up in a genre, I always like to call it rock-reggae or reggae-rock,” Alex said. “It’s hard to describe it. It just mirrors what we grew up listening to.” Riley expanded on the band’s characterization. “People have compared us to

bands like 311 or Incubus,” Riley said. “We’ve also really been inspired by older bands like The Beach Boys and The Beatles. There’s a little bit of everything in there.” The band has been busy spreading its music up and down the East Coast, while each member is still managing to hold down day jobs. Most of the band’s shows are on the weekends to accommodate for this. The members hope that someday they’ll be able to get a more rigorous touring schedule so they can quit their day jobs. Right now, Riley delivers paints for Sherwin-Williams, which he jokingly said is “quite glamorous.” Riley continued to laugh

as he discussed another drawback for their current situation. “My least favorite part (of touring) is probably bathroom breaks,” Riley said. “When you’re driving, you have five people with five different bladders.” Despite having to cram into a van and make several pit stops along the way, Riley says the camaraderie between them makes it all worth it. “The best part is honestly just being with the guys in the band, as cheesy as that may sound,” Riley said. “We’ve known each other for so long … that we’re essentially brothers in a way.” In addition to being without a tour bus, The Golden Butter Band is also still unsigned to a record label, but that doesn’t discourage these members. It still managed to release three albums and successfully put their music on iTunes and Amazon. Riley said they also want to wait and make sure the band signs with someone who has its best interest in mind and will give them musical freedom. Alex believes they all share the same goal as the band looks toward its future. “We definitely want to make a living with what we do,” Alex said. “Music is our passion. We’re a pretty ambitious group. I love to travel, so if we can play music and travel, that’s all I can ask for. I don’t care about magazine covers or MTV or any of that crap.” With the performance at 622 North coming up, Riley hopes they’ll be well received in the town they’ve wanted to play in for a while. “I just want people to take a chance with us,” Riley said. “No matter what you’re in to, there’s something for everyone.”

Sharing ideas and collaborating with peers is vital to the inventing process, especially in a university setting. However, few know the rules or guidelines that shape how intellectual property is shared and who owns it. Kevin Sprenger, a senior electrical engineering major, and three other students founded the Student Intellectual Property Society in 2009. They hoped to get students more interested in and aware of intellectual property and intellectual theft. “To be such a popular engineering school, there was almost nothing about intellectual property, and I really attribute that to the fact that we are isolated from a law school and isolated from a larger city,” Sprenger said. The group currently has 11 active members and organizes professionals to come to Virginia Tech to give talks about issues relating to intellectual property. The group also hosted a larger IP conference in October that Sprenger said was very successful. There are four different types of intellectual property — patents, copyrights, trademarks and trade secrets. Obtaining and enforcing patents is difficult. However, copyrights are a more broad form of intellectual property. There are also major differences between plagiarism and copyright infringement. Plagiarism is something schools can enforce. A copyright is a legal right that courts can enforce. For instance, if a student includes a sentence from a textbook in a paper and does not site it, he plagiarized, not infringed, since he didn’t copy the entire work. Depending on how students plagiarize at Tech, they could be either called to the honor court or potentially sued. “A key issue with copyright infringement is that it must be copied verbatim,” Sprenger said. “That’s why a lot of copyright infringement on music and file sharing is such a big deal — because they are copying the actual recording.” At Tech, there are specific resources to aid those who have questions regarding intellectual property and ownership. Virginia Tech Intellectual Properties, or Vtip, is a non-profit organization external from the university that helps to evaluate, protect and market inventions created by any researcher at Tech, specifically graduate students and faculty members. John Geikler, a senior licensing associate with Vtip, said the best way for anyone to protect themselves against intellectual property theft is to keep an extensive lab notebook. It is also essential, for patent purposes, that no prior public disclosure is made to have a safeguard on your idea. Sprenger finds that there are a few different philosophies about intellectual property that confuse, as well as scare, people. “One mindset is thinking that anyone I talk to about my inven-

tion has the potential to steal it, which is not necessarily true,” Sprenger said. Tech’s policy on intellectual property states that anything created using more than $10,000 of university property becomes partly owned by Tech. “That’s rather unusual,” Geikler said. “Most universities own 100 percent of what students create. Tech is generous in that regard.” Vtip evaluates invention disclosures written by faculty members or graduate students and looks to see if there is an existing patent on the technology. “We not only look at can we get a patent on it, but is it worth the time and effort and money to do that; patenting is a very expensive proposition,” Geikler said. To prevent someone from stealing a possible idea the first step would be to draft a nondisclosure agreement. With that document, the law protects the idea from anyone who could try and steal it. Another misconception is that people feel the need to share their idea with everyone to generate interest. Sprenger said the key is to share ideas with the correct people.

“

My biggest worry is that students aren’t aware. Over the Internet, we tend to lose a sense of the work being property of someone else.” Anna-Marion Bieri SIP faculty advisor Anna-Marion Bieri serves as the faculty advisor for SIPS and is the coordinator of science and law programs at Tech. Bieri has been developing an intellectual property minor, which will help inform students of intellectual property law. She said research institutions are heavily exposed to intellectual property, and copyright is often easily forgotten. There is also a lack of awareness of intellectual property. “My biggest worry is that students aren’t aware,” Bieri said. “Over the Internet, we tend to lose a sense of the work being the property of someone else.” The minor’s core classes focus on foundations of patent law, current topics in issues regarding the Internet, as well as ethics and civics. They are open to all majors, but Bieri has seen a large amount of engineering, science and business majors so far. “I hope we get more students from all of the colleges,” Bieri said. “I do believe that this topic is relevant to everybody; I hope we can reach other students.” Sprenger would like to see more work done at the freshman level, possibly at orientation, to educate students about the dangers of file sharing. Bieri also hopes to encourage students to look for jobs in intellectual law. “Intellectual property lawyers are hot on the market,” Bieri said. “It’s a great area for students to be exposed to.”

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january 26, 2012 COLLEGIATETIMES

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Tyler Arthur featured columnist, junior, finance major

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Schools need more state funds H

ow would you feel if I said you could have an extra thousand dollars to spend this semester? What would you spend it on? The tantalizing possibilities are endless — an iPad, Kindle or Nook, apartment decorations, alcohol, food, clothing, etc. But the bad news is you don’t have that spare cash to spend or save. Now the question becomes, why? This past summer, the Board of Visitors raised the cost of tuition, and President Charles Steger said the underlying reason for the increase was a decline in state support for higher education. He wasn’t lying. In fact, it was more of an understatement, since I would call it “commonwealth negligence” or “higher education severance.” Through 2000-01, the cost share relationship between the state of Virginia and undergraduates was 59 percent to 41 percent. But in 201112 it is projected to be 29 percent to 71 percent. Talk about picking up the tab. Moreover, in academic year 2009-10, Virginia in-state students borrowed more than $657 million to pay for school — a 260 percent increase from a decade ago. Consequently, Virginia now ranks 40th in state and local appropriations per student. (The U.S. average is roughly $1,000 more.) Essentially, we just took a seat next to West Virginia — at the back of the bus. The commonwealth decided that

the burden of higher education funding should be put on parents and students. Unfortunately, not everyone comes from affluence or has financially responsible parents, so to pay for college, we do what every needy person does — we borrow. The National Center for Education Statistics affirms this premise: One in every two undergraduates in the commonwealth is borrowing money for public school. Borrowing money is not necessarily a bad thing; it is actually quite important for the economy’s survival. But with the default rate on the rise, it is time to pay attention. According to the Wall Street Journal, student loan debt is the only type of credit to grow after the Great Recession, and the delinquency rate on these loans is on the rise. Moreover, it is almost impossible to have your student loans forgiven and wiped. More than likely, your failure to repay will result in garnished paychecks, offset tax refunds or stripped federal benefits. The government could also sue you. “I will be fine, my degree will provide me with a high-paying job, and I can pay off my debts incrementally.” Wrong. Our age bracket is facing a nauseating unemployment rate of 14.6 percent, which is probably understated. Imagine an introductory class with 500 students; now picture at least 75 of them back at home, with mom and dad picking up their

unemployment check. That is the stark reality we face. Couple that with insurmountable student debt, and we have a conundrum on our hands. Now, what is being done about this? Surprisingly, quite a lot, especially in the commonwealth. Gov. Bob McDonnell has two sons who go to the University of Virginia and a daughter who goes to Virginia Tech. So, fortunately for us, he understands the cost burden college is putting on families. That is why he has “reallocated” monies to “higher-value programs” in the new proposed biennial budget and is seeking an additional $100 million per year for “very specific policy goals.” These policy goals coincide with the Higher Education Opportunity Act, which was passed during the last General Assembly session — making college affordable, increasing the number of Virginians with degrees and placing an emphasis on high-demand fields such as the sciences and health. Interestingly enough, “Virginia21,” which is a non-partisan, non-profit organization, is one of the reasons why the governor felt he was able to propose a “reallocation of values.” Virginia21 launched a lobbying effort in September 2011 called “What’s Your Number,” which encompassed a viral effort — with YouTube videos — inter-

viewing college students who were struggling to keep up with tuition hikes, had exorbitant student debt and could not find jobs. The idea was a grassroots effort that put the boots on the ground and focused on petition signatures, with an overall emblematic question: “What is your student debt number?” The lobbying effort was not met with contempt or indignation as with years past, but rather, a gracious welcoming party from the Office of the Governor. He mentioned Virginia21 about 10 times during his budget proposal, and the organization’s advocates, wearing their school shirts, stood behind the governor as he voiced the proposal. The governor, like the president, cannot act unilaterally on budgetary issues. He can only make recommendations, and the General Assembly can surgically remove any language or allocation they feel is unnecessary. So I encourage my fellow Hokies to take action by lobbying on Hokie Day or signing Virginia21’s petition at Virginia21. org/whatsyournumber. It is imperative that we do something. As the law of inertia states, “A body at rest will remain at rest unless acted upon by an external force.” Follow the writer on Twitter: @TylerVA540

Legalizing marijuana would create jobs U

sually the line separating a drug from a resource is a bold one. But when the subject of marijuana is discussed, the line seems to fade. Over the past century, Cannabis has been widely considered a drug, but in recent years, legislation fueled by scientific findings has fought to reverse that. There have been significant developments in studies concerning the effects of marijuana on users’ health and the projected wealth that would result from its legalization. But what may be equally informative about Cannabis is its long history in the United States. Before I make my argument, allow me to place the plant outside its current social stigma. In the mid to late 1800s, extensive efforts were made to restrict marijuana. It was added to several states’ poison lists, and in the early 1900s, it was added to the national list of poisons. In modern day, the possession and sale of marijuana are felony offenses punishable by heavy fines and extended jail sentences. Those found guilty and incarcerated are treated the same as the heroin dealers and thieves

who populate the cells around them. But what about the time before marijuana was declared illegal? Was its growth and use always frowned upon? Surprisingly, the answer is no. According to a timeline assembled by PBS, the Virginia Assembly required hemp production in the state, and hemp was legal tender in Pennsylvania, Virginia and Maryland. In the modern era, there have been multiple attempts at passing national laws legalizing the possession and sale of marijuana in a controlled manner, proving to be unsuccessful. That being said, there have been significant modifications in individual states’ laws that decriminalize the possession of marijuana. For example, California and Colorado both treat a person in possession of marijuana much like they would a person speeding, that is as long as the amount held is less than one ounce and the person in question is age 21 years or older. And patients prescribed marijuana as a medicine by a licensed doctor, in these states, are fully within the rights of the law to possess the substance. Hemp and marijuana do have risks,

but they also have market value, which appears to outweigh those risks. Because of this, the U.S. could benefit greatly from legally cultivating this resource. As with any drug, there are health hazards involved with marijuana abuse. Depending on how frequently it is used, marijuana can have noticeably harmful effects on the user’s brain, reducing short-term memory as well as concentration. Studies of long-term use have shown a decay of brain activity and overall performance. Marijuana consumption also decreases gross and fine motor functions. This is concerning because if someone under the influence were to get behind the wheel of a car, he would not only be endangering his own life, but the lives of others on the road. In my opinion, however, the advantages involved in the legalization of marijuana supersede the drawbacks. The most attractive advantage is the economics behind this proposal. If marijuana were to be legalized and taxed, like alcohol and tobacco products, there would be a profound

influx of money injected into the U.S. economy. Jeffrey Miron, an economics professor at Harvard University, has crunched the numbers and found that there would be an estimated annual profit of $14 billion “conservatively.” This figure is comprised from about $6 billion received from taxation and another $8 billion that would have otherwise been used to fund police investigations and busts to restrict the possession and sale of marijuana. It has also been found that marijuana is not as detrimental to health as was previously thought. An article in the New York Times by Anahad O’Connor discusses recent developments in a long-term study concerning the effects of marijuana on lung condition. The study concluded there was no evidence of any decay in lung health or breathing ability. If cigarettes, which are proven to cause cancer and destroy lung condition, are legally sold to consumers, why must we deny the sale of marijuana? The very same point can be made with alcohol. It is sold legally around the U.S., but with continued

use it breaks the brain down and can cause liver disease. It also has major effects on motor functions, making driving or even walking difficult. The U.S. is in great need of ways to produce capital from within its borders, and I believe laws criminalizing marijuana starve our economy even more. Recent breakthroughs proving that this drug isn’t actually as harmful to our health as we thought reinforces this point. Therefore, there would need to be limitations if it were passed, such as an age restriction and laws against driving under its influence. If the safety of citizens is ensured, I see no reason for marijuana to be illegal while tobacco and alcohol are not. I am hopeful that legislation in the coming years replaces current laws banning growth and distribution of Cannabis so the utilization of marijuana as a resource can be realized once again.

DAVID LEVITT -regular columnist -sophomore -economics major

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january 26, 2012 COLLEGIATETIMES

Basketball: Hokies drop heartbreaker to BYU from page one

“They’re a good team, and we’re a good team,” Greenberg said. “We just didn’t finish. When you’re having a special season, one of those two-point games goes your way. Unfortunately, at this point, we haven’t been as fortunate as we would like to be.” The Hokies were held without a field goal for the first 9:43 of the game, before C.J. Barksdale banked in a hook shot to make the score 13-3. “If you look at the first half, we couldn’t hit anything,” said point guard Erick Green, who scored all 11 of his points in the second half. “The ball was right there. We got good looks, stuff like that, but we started off slow, once again. At the end of the day, that hurt us.” The team was able to claw their way back into the game throughout the remainder of the first half, led by seven points from Dorenzo Hudson off the bench, as it went into the break down 29-25. Big men Brandon Davies and Noah Hartsock led the way for the Cougars, who moved to 18-5 on the season. The two combined for 39 points, 12 rebounds and an impressive 18 of 20 from the free throw line. “Both of the big men — coming in, we knew they were going to be a problem going inside,” Green said. “They’re great players. They did a good job tonight.” Tech took a 45-39 lead midway through the second half — with some help from Victor Davila, who played through a sinus infection and finished with 12 points — but saw it quickly disappear after a 10-0 BYU run. However, the team was able to keep it close down the stretch, as Green, Brown, Jarrell Eddie and Cadarian Raines all hit crucial shots but fell just short at the end. With a little more than 10 seconds remaining in the game, and his team holding a 70-68 lead, Hartsock inbounded the ball, only to have it deflected, giving Tech the ball back with a chance to tie or take the win. “We were trying to trap,”

Hudson said of the turnover. “I think me and (Dorian FinneySmith) did a good job of shading to one side and got the deflection.” Green drove the basket on the ensuing possession but had his shot blocked by Hartsock before it eventually got kicked out to Brown, who also couldn’t convert. “Everything happened right,” Green said. “I went in there, too worried about trying to draw the foul instead of worrying about getting the basket. They blocked the shot, but I was trying to draw some contact, and it didn’t work out the way I wanted it to work out.” Greenberg also thought that his team could not have asked for a better set up on the game’s final play. “They went man, but it actually worked out to our advantage because when we threw it out, they overran the passing lane and gave Erick a five-on-four situation,” Greenberg said. “He got into the lane and had a chance to score the ball. I’ll take that any time.” It wasn’t the first time this year that a game came down to the last possession for the Hokies. The team lost similar games earlier this year to Minnesota, Wake Forest and Florida State. “We’re playing college basketball,” Hudson, who led the team with 14 points, said. “Most of the games come down to one possession.” Green, the backbone of this team all season, was surprisingly optimistic after the game. “It does hurt,” Green said. “But, we don’t put our heads down. We don’t say anything negative toward one another. People can say what they want to say, but their opinion doesn’t matter — it’s in this locker room what really matters. We just need to learn to finish these things off. That’s the main part.” Eddie had a career-high 14 rebounds, breaking his previous high of 10, set on Sunday against Virginia. He also had 12 points, giving him his first career doubledouble. The Hokies will travel to College Park on Saturday to face off against the Maryland Terrapins. Tip-off is set for 2:30 p.m.

DANIEL LIN / SPPS

Above: Jarell Eddie (31) loses control of the ball as he is fouled by Charles Abouo (1) in the ﬁrst half. Right: Robert Brown (1) is fouled by Brock Zylstra (13) as he attempts a dunk. Bottom: Members of the Cassell Guard react to a referee’s call. STEVEN SILTON / SPPS

DANIEL LIN / SPPS

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Taurus (April 20-May 20) The trick is to remain cautious, even as others get impetuous. Someone needs to keep it all grounded in reality. Do it lovingly. Serve the invoice with dessert.

Leo (July 23-Aug. 22) The job’s more fun than you expected. Find the perfect plan going forward. A lucky break leads the whole thing in a new direction. Celebrate with friends and something delicious.

Pisces (Feb. 19-March 20) A beautiful transformatin is underway. The reality may be quite distinct from how you fantasized it. Don’t be afraid. You can do it.

Gemini (May 21-June 21) A blissful moment sneaks up, and love gets revealed. Resist the temptation to forget all responsibility. Savor it, and keep moving. You’re that big.

Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22) Get more than you asked for. Count the bene its... they outweigh any negatives. Slow down and think it over before saying something you regret. Silence is golden.

Cancer (June 22-July 22) Elders are in a good mood. Take advantage and make a request, the granting of which could bene it everyone. Don’t launch until ready. Rest up.

OF THE

ARE EXCITED TO ANNOUNCE THEIR ENGAGEMENT ON DECEMBER 10, 2011. KATHRYN AND JOSHUA MET 5.5 YEARS AGO THROUGH A FRIEND WHO INTRODUCED THEM AT THEIR HIGH-SCHOOL. THE LOVE STRUCK COUPLE PLAN TO GET HITCHED ON JUNE 1, 2013.

Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 18) Not everything goes according to plan, but that’s the beauty. It’s really not worth losing your temper over. Your capacity to adapt is your strength today.

Aries (March 21-April 19) Love’s the game and the prize. Be thankful for whatever you get, and there’s no resisting you. Push for a raise. Relax and enjoy it.

couple

Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 22) Find the perfect plan. Postpone a trip and avoid an expensive hassle. Take a quiet evening to kick back at home.

Scorpio (Oct. 23-Nov. 21) Edit your own romantic dream. You’re lucky in love. It’s a great time to be with friends, especially if it involves something artistic. Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 21) Youre home bene its from your creativity. Love lows freely. Relish a luxurious evening. choose faith over doubt. Stoke it with candles and warm drinks. Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19) Your mind paints stark colors against blank backgrounds. You see it clearly and say it so artfully. Passions run hot with intensity. Get it out there.

she says: I love that he always makes time for me even when he has a very hectic schedule, always laughs at my jokes, and he has the most beautiful brown eyes. What I love most about him is that even though we go to school so far apart and rarely have a chance to see one another, he has never once given up on us. their first date: We went out to eat and

talked so long that we missed the movie we planned to see. So her house and watched a movie. Have a couple you want to nominate for ‘Couple of the Week?’ Email your nominations to studybreak@collegemedia.com with the title ‘Couple of the Week.’

weekend

january 26, 2012 COLLEGIATETIMES

editors: chelsea gunter, patrick murphy featureseditor@collegiatetimes.com/ 540.231.9865

wryly

e R ILLY

‘Dating Doctor’ to give students advice on love and relationships CHELSEA GUNTER

DELIGHTFULLY OFFENSIVE.

features editor

NBC’s Thursday night lineup is the freshest thing in TV comedy — so where are all the viewers?

a recent episode of NBC sitcom “Parks and Recreation,” main character and city council candidate Leslie Knope confronts opponent Bobby Newport only to be met with blank confusion. Newport, played with puppy dog enthusiasm by Paul Rudd, has no idea there is another competitor in the race. “Oh no, you guys are wrong,” he tells Knope cheerfully. “I’m running unopposed.” Forgive the other networks if they feel the same way about NBC’s Thursday lineup. For all the critical acclaim “Parks” and shows like “Community,” “30 Rock” and “The Office” receive, ratings for the comedy block remain about as high as congressional approval polls. Paintball wars, Matt Damon cameos, miniature horses — the shows have thrown everything but the kitchen sink in to draw bigger audiences, yet still come up short. The numbers are so bad that “Community,” TV’s most consistently inventive sitcom, was yanked off the air in December and put on the dreaded “hiatus.” What makes these shows’ failures to connect to mass audiences so peculiar is that TV is currently experiencing a creative renaissance. In this golden age of small screen entertainment, masterfully produced programs like

“Mad Men,” “Game of Thrones” and “Louie” draw both critical love and enthusiastic audience reception. NBC’s once and former night of “must see TV” should be a ratings juggernaut. “Community,” with its pop culture-obsessed writers and a hilarious, diverse ensemble, seems be the perfect blast of irreverent entertainment for the snarky Internet era. “Parks” has an equally talented cast including former “Saturday Night Live” star Amy Poehler and up-and-comers like Aziz Ansari and Aubrey Plaza, not to mention a perfected take on the “mockumentary” style pioneered by “The Office.” That long-running show is dangerously nearing its expiration date. It’s questionable just how many storylines you can squeeze out of Erin’s devolution into a wild-eyed stalker. The show is missing Steve Carell, but its talented writing staff can still create gems from time to time. Likewise, “30 Rock” may have lost a bit of its early luster, but Tina Fey and company’s manic energy still creates the best live action cartoon on TV this side of Fox News. With that much comedic firepower, NBC’s Thursday night should be at the vanguard of the TV revival. Instead, it stands out as a striking exception to the good news parade. If placements on

critics’ top 10 lists sold ads, NBC would earn the GDP of a small African country every week. So what’s the problem? My Milton Friedman-worshiping friend from high school would argue that there isn’t one; this is just the free market at work. It’s survival of the fittest. If the shows aren’t being watched, then the public doesn’t desire them and resources are better spent elsewhere. There are several issues with that train of thought. One is that consulting an economist on matters of comedy is like hiring a blind person to give tours of an art museum. Another is the misconception that the archaic Nielsen ratings system accurately portrays public interest. At face value, the ratings for “Community” indicate a train wreck with an average of 3.675 million viewers for the shortened third season. To put that in perspective, “The Big Bang Theory,” its former competitor in the 8 p.m. timeslot, is averaging nearly 15 million viewers per episode. Hell, a syndicated episode of “Big Bang” on TBS at 10:30 p.m. equaled “Community’s” season average, slicing open the fresh wound and dumping a P.F. Chang’s entree’s worth of salt inside. In this sense, ratings aren’t deceiving. Americans vastly prefer middlebrow “look at these nerds” jokes to “Community’s” uberintelligent mix of pop culture references and self-referential humor. While Nielsen’s statistics offer a general comparison between programs, they only scratch the surface in determining the popularity of a youth-oriented show like “Community.” “Our ratings jump when you see the TiVo numbers, but the problem is that our audience is very young, and nobody views TV (live) anymore,” star Joel McHale said to “Entertainment Weekly.” “They watch online, (but) there is no way to monetize that yet, other than iTunes.” In other words, a show predominately viewed by college students

airs at 8 p.m. on Thursday nights. It doesn’t take one of the “Big Bang” geniuses to figure out what will happen to live ratings. Even if “Community” didn’t air during the start to the collegiate weekend, our generation is far more inclined to catch favorite shows the next day on Hulu. NBC is in a difficult position. They’ve shown loyalty to these shows and have built a strong foundation of critically acclaimed, youth-oriented programming that gives the fourth-place network optimism for the future. Unfortunately, TV is a business, and all the media praise and hipster credibility in the world isn’t worth much if you can’t pay the bills. It’s a frustrating situation for fans, but there are still glimmers of hope. NBC has announced that “Community” will in fact return to the airwaves to finish its third season. Of course, there is one more terrifying possibility — that the dismal ratings aren’t an aberration but rather an indicator of the direction TV is going. What if this “golden age” is really a myth? Maybe audiences are just watching “Mad Men” because of nostalgia for a more openly sexist era. Or, they’re watching “Game of Thrones” because of the copious nudity and “Louie” because — well, even a blind horse finds water sometimes. In this nightmare scenario, every sub-4.0 rating for “Parks” is a signpost showing we’re ever closer to a TV landscape populated by hoarders, Jersey Shore cretins and Ashton Kutcher’s beard. Vapid, perpetually adolescent Bobby Newport would love the new direction of small-screen entertainment. Unfortunately for him, and for us, his show probably wouldn’t be around to see it.

ANDREW REILLY -featured columnist -senior -communication major

College students have always been infatuated with relationships, sex and love, but tonight students get the opportunity to learn exactly what they’re doing right — or wrong — with their love lives. Sponsored by Virginia Tech Union, David Coleman, also known as the real life “Dating Doctor” who inspired the premise of the movie “Hitch,” will be performing a free show tonight in Squires Student Center’s Haymarket Theatre at 6:30 p.m.

COLLEGIATE TIMES: How did you end up in the entertainment industry?

DAVID COLEMAN: I was student activities director at a college, and I created a program ... that was how to ask somebody out and what to do on a date ... I did it as a session (once), and at the end people started throwing their business cards at me saying, “Hey, if you come to our campus we’ll pay you.” That was 3,000 shows ago.

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CT: What has inspired you throughout your career?

COLEMAN: What inspired me was my upbringing. If you’ve ever seen the movie “Dirty Dancing” — my family owned a resort like that when I was growing up. I always looked for a career where I could entertain people on one side of the equation and help their lives — serve them — on the other. And I’ve been lucky enough, as the Dating Doctor, to find a career that models how I was brought up.

CT:

What advice do you have for college students?

COLEMAN:

Why should students come to your show tonight?

Never mistake infatuation for love. That’s the first one. You can meet someone, be really attracted to them, and then the next thing you’re telling your friend, “Oh my gosh. I’m in love.” You’re not in love. You don’t have a clue yet, and I will teach some of those things to the audience. Another thing is that quite a few people live their lives with what’s called an intimacy defense mechanism. So they’ll pretend like they’re dating or they’ll pretend like they’re interested to keep their friends and family off their back, when really, they have no desire to be dating someone. You’ll hear someone say, “I’m very, very picky.” What they’re really saying is, “I don’t want to date. I know nobody out there is perfect, and so if I’m looking for the perfect person, I never have to date because that person won’t exist.”

COLEMAN:

CT:

CT: Why have you chosen college students as a target audience?

COLEMAN: Because, number one, they get it. I’m talking about something that’s very, very important to them — dating, relationships, romance, sex, thinking about marriage in the future and things like that ... They can make decisions when they walk out of that room and truly change their lives for the better. And I know that quite a few of them do it because they stay in touch with me; they drop me emails or Tweets or texts, and they talk about the changes they’ve made in their lives, so it’s kind of rewarding. CT:

Since 1974

women give off if they’re interested in a man. They will know what to do if they are dating a horrible person. They’ll know how to be better lovers ... The show’s a hoot, and my audiences are pretty much the stars of my show. It’s just a good time.

I’ve often been told by students that they learn as much from me in an hour-anda-half having fun than they do from a class on a subject that takes a semester. By the time people leave my show, they will know who can hold relationships and why. They will have a sure fire way of knowing whether someone is worth pursuing in five minutes or less. They will know the five subtle signs that men give off if they’re interested in a woman. They will know the five subtle signs that

What has been your favorite experience in your career thus far?

COLEMAN: When I’m not talking to college students, I talk to our troops all over the world. I had the opportunity to speak at the National Naval Medical Center, and I was able to speak to some of our wounded warriors who have come back from battle and (tried) to help them regain the confidence to go into relationships and move on with their lives. That was probably the most meaningful single day of my entire career.