92708_P006_037:Layout 1
3/7/14
19:12
Page 6
1 You and your feelings Self-esteem and confidence
Self-esteem What is self-esteem?
yourself. It is Self-esteem means having a good opinion of are and valuing based on understanding what your strengths yourself as a person.
Why is self-esteem important?
to have the Self-esteem is important because it enables you , you will say confidence to be yourself. If you have self-esteem r than say rathe what you think and do what you think is right, or do things to try to impress other people. You won’t Having self-esteem will make you feel happier. if they criticise let people make you feel badly about yourself respect you’ll elf, yours in you unfairly. Because you believe fall won’t You too. yourself and other people will respect you goes that into the trap of blaming yourself for everything wrong in your life. new Self-esteem will give you the confidence to try because you , more ve experiences. It will also help you to achie deal with to r will have a positive attitude that makes it easie
Feeling confident Some people seem to be born confiden t. They can enter a crowded room, immediately feel at home and settle dow n and talk to anybody. Confidence comes from believing in your self and feeling happy. Onc e you’re confident about what you want out of life, you can go for it. When you’re confident about your self – how you look and how you feel – many other problems disappear. Perhaps you have to read some of your wor k out in front of the whole class. If you feel confident in your self, you’ll be less pre-occupied with things that don’t matter – like how you look and where you’re sitting – and more concerned with making the reading interesting for the rest of the class.
setbacks.
g Is having self-esteem the same as bein conceited?
opinion of No. A conceited person has an exaggerated ced view of balan a has steem self-e themselves. A person with standing under but s, point good their their own worth, valuing ct. perfe not are that, like everyone else, they
Know
yourself
Make a list of what your strong points are. You can feel proud of what you’re good at.
On your own, make one list of the things you are good at, and another list of the things you think you’re not so good at. Then show your lists to a partner. Go through the list of good points and discuss the things you’ve included that make you feel good and that you are most proud of. Then choose one of the things from your not-so-good list and discuss together something positive that you could do in order to get better at it.
6
Good points ● making friends ● swimming ● telling jokes ● eating healthy food ● studying hard ● organising games ● painting ● staying fit
Not-so-good points ● tidying room ● getting to sports practice on time ● handwriting ● cleaning shoes ● nail biting ● brushing hair ● washing dishes
92708_P006_037:Layout 1
3/7/14
19:12
Page 7
self-esteem Erica Stewart offers tips on how to build up your self-esteem Think positively Look at things in a positive rather than a negative way. For example, if you do badly in a test, don’t think: ‘I’m hopeless. I’m never going to get a good mark.’ Instead, think about what you can do to make sure you get a good mark next time, such as asking for extra help with things you don’t understand.
Stand up for yourself Make up your own mind about what you believe and stick to it. It’s harder to say no than to say yes, but don’t let anyone pressurise you into doing things you don’t believe are right. Don’t feel guilty or that you’re letting them down. You’ll respect yourself far more for sticking up for your beliefs than if you give in and do something just to please others, and other people will respect you more, too.
Be realistic Be realistic about what you can achieve. Don’t set yourself unachievable targets. If you’re really determined to do something, then go for it. Adopt a step-by-step approach, setting yourself a series of short-term goals and dates by which to achieve each one.
Cope with criticism If you’re criticised, it can damage your self-esteem. Consider carefully whether the criticism is fair. For example, if you let the rest of the cast down by not turning up for an important play rehearsal, then accept that it was your fault. Apologise and reassure everyone that you won’t let it happen again. But if you are being unfairly criticised, recognise what is going on and either ignore it or take steps to ensure that it doesn’t continue.
Take risks
Discuss the advice that Erica Stewart gives in her article. Which piece of advice is the most useful? Which is the hardest to put into practice? Study the six statements below. Talk about each one in turn, saying why you agree or disagree with it. Make notes of your views and share them in a class discussion.
1
What other people think of you and your behaviour is more important than what you think yourself.
2 3
It’s not being conceited to feel proud of yourself and your achievements.
4
If you’re not confident about doing something, it’s better to avoid doing it rather than risk making a fool of yourself.
5
People who keep putting you down only do so to try to make themselves feel better.
6
Imitating people by doing whatever is regarded as cool and trendy is the best way to boost your confidence.
It’s not what you look like that matters, it’s what kind of person you are and how you feel about yourself.
If you’re not prepared to take risks then you cut down on the chances of having new experiences and finding out what you’re capable of doing and achieving. Of course, that doesn’t mean doing things that are dangerous or reckless. But avoiding taking any risks because you’re afraid of making a fool of yourself won’t do anything for your self-confidence. It’s usually best to have a go. If it doesn’t work out, you can always tell yourself that at least you tried.
7