Learn & Grow
Saving: Jolene Picone.
Building Skills for Life
Create a foundation of success that carries through to adulthood by teaching kids responsibility for necessary tasks. By Kelly Smith
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arents are often tempted to take care of some of their kids’ everyday responsibilities—after all, it will get the job done more quickly—but doing so continually won’t help your kids develop basic life skills. When some adolescents have limited life skills, Brian Powers, a Denver-area high school counselor and father of two, suspects their deficits might limit future prospects and functioning. Similarly, “when we do a task for a child that they are capable of doing, we are communicating a subtle message that we do not think they are capable of it,” says Rachel Averch, president and head of school at Montessori Children’s House of Denver. “Let go of the need for perfection and for a certain outcome and realize that the process is more important than the product,” she advises. The good news is, even the youngest family members can contribute to the household. Denver-area middle school teacher Molly Snell recommends singing songs, making it a game, or adding music, as you teach your children basic tasks. “Make it part of the routine such as, ‘After we
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Colorado Parent | July 2021
eat, we use the stool to reach the sink and rinse our plates, then we put them in the dishwasher.’ There is an understanding of doing the job because it’s the next thing and not a punishment,” she says. Not only will kids learn to do the actual tasks, but also the act of trying a task—and sometimes failing—can build a foundation of confidence and self-reliance. In turn, parents can build on those skills by teaching increased responsibility as the child grows. Here are a few growth areas to consider. COOKING AND KITCHEN SKILLS Jolene and Greg Picone are both small business owners. Out of necessity and “to ward off entitlement,” says Jolene, their three young daughters take part in meal prep, ready themselves for school, help with laundry, and more. When it comes to help in the kitchen, their two-year-old can put away silverware; a sister or adult will go back and organize if need be. The five-year old can pull dishes out and safely stack them on the counter, and the 10-year-old can put the dishes away. “Our kids feel a sense of pride and confidence in
themselves that they can do things independently,” says Jolene. “As they leave our home, we want them to know that they can do hard things.” Younger children can add and mix (parentmeasured) recipe ingredients. Averch is a bread baker; her youngest child helps knead the dough. They can also assist with setting the table and clearing plates. In addition, Averch believes that children being allowed to pour, and spill, is just as important as success. “The spill teaches a child that their mistakes are not failures to be ashamed of, but rather an important part of the learning process to be embraced and learned from in our pursuit of growth and excellence,” she explains. Elementary school kids can help with cooking, learn to cut with a dull (or child-friendly) knife, and make basic meals such as sandwiches. They might also put groceries away and help wash the dishes. Tweens and teens can read recipes, measure ingredients, and learn to prepare a meal. They can use a broom and dustpan, create a grocery list, and take out the trash. Teach them to plan and prepare a meal with several ingredients and use the oven.
